Chapter Text
It could be argued that one of the biggest achievements for anyone is receiving something on Valentine's Day. There's nothing quite as special as coming to school on this day to find something sweet placed in one's desk, whether it be homemade chocolates, flowers or letters.
For single dogs like Shen Yuan, Valentine's Day had always been a day that started with high hopes and ended in the pits of disappointment. For as long as he could remember, Shen Yuan has never once received anything on Valentine's day, though that never stopped him from hoping that things would change the next time it came around.
It had always been a secret wish of his of having at least one (1) girl confess her love to him, especially on Valentine's Day. Call him a romantic but he'd always pictured a pretty girl shyly telling him that she always had feelings for him and thought him cool. Naturally, he would respond to her in kind, thanking her for her for plucking up the courage to tell him, and complimenting her before they'd hold hands and call each other boyfriend and girlfriend while the sun sets in the background, casting them both in a romantic glow.
Of course, the chances of this occurring to Shen Yuan in real life was practically in the negatives but it was fun to imagine! And it made him feel slightly better.
But this year, in his third year of high school on Valentine's Day, Shen Yuan finds a letter in his desk drawer.
At first, he thought it was a prank — it happened before — or an honest mistake — which, sadly, also happened before — but the name written on the envelope belonged to him.
Shen Yuan almost drops his bag when he realizes that it is addressed to him. Practically vibrating with excitement, he picks the cream-colored envelope up with shaky hands and tears it open to read.
Written in beautiful, flowing strokes is a heartfelt message from the girl to him.
Dear Shen Yuan,
Happy Valentine's Day.
I remembered the day we first spoke to each other as if it was yesterday. You were very kind to me, so caring and thoughtful that after we parted ways, I couldn't stop thinking about you. This is the first time I've ever felt this way about someone.
For months, I have admired you from afar, but I have decided that today will be the day I confess my feelings to you in person.
If you'd be so kind, please meet me behind the auditorium during lunch break today.
- xoxo, your secret admirer
"Since when have you ever once in your life been kind, thoughtful or caring?" Shang Qinghua guffaws after reading the letter, narrowly avoiding death by Shen Yuan's pencil case.
"You're just jealous I got a love letter before you did," Shen Yuan retorts, snatching the letter out of Shang Qinghua's grubby hands. He scowls and waves it at him, half in annoyance and half gloating about the physical proof that someone out there likes him. "How does it feel not getting anything this year? Must be sad being in your final year of high school and not having a single girl like you!"
Despite his attempt to look unbothered, Shen Yuan knows Shang Qinghua is jealous. Why else would he be insulting Shen Yuan? He was just being a sore loser!
"So what?" Shang Qinghua scoffs. "I still have plenty of time till we graduate!"
"If you graduate," Shen Yuan mumbles, just to spite his annoying classmate further.
Shang Qinghua ignores that. "Besides, it's not the end of the world if I don't get anything!" he points out, which sounds like he's coping. "At least I don't have to give something in return on White Day, especially if it's to a girl I don't care about or didn't want a confession from."
While did have a point, and Shen Yuan has seen a couple of boys in their year stress over how to reciprocate the gifts from a girl they weren't interested in on White Day, it's not like that was a big problem!
If anything, it also sounds like Shang Qinghua is trying to rain on his parade.
"You're a heartless asshole." Shen Yuan humphs, tucking the letter into his pocket. "Girls take one look at you or hear the words coming out of your trap and decide they don't want you. That's why you didn't get anything in your desk today," he adds with vehement superiority.
"Psh." Shang Qinghua waves his hand dismissively. "I'll get more love letters than you in the future. Just you wait! I'll have buckets of it, and you're going to get nothing because you're so uncool and ugly."
If not for the teacher walking into the room, Shang Qinghua would've sported a black eye today.
Shen Yuan ignores him for the rest of the morning. Fine if Shang Qinghua wants to be a sore loser about it! It's not like him being negative will help his case anyway.
Shen Yuan won't let his sour mood ruin his day either.
He spends the rest of his morning trying to figure out who sent him the letter, running through a mental list of girls he has spoken to this year.
Could it be Ning Yingying, the sweet girl from the next class who say with him on the bus? Or was it Liu Mingyan, the cool girl from the anime club? Or is it that girl from the year below him?
It could be anyone at this point, and Shen Yuan's dying to find out.
Lunchtime couldn't come quick enough.
When the bell finally rings, Shen Yuan takes the long way around to the auditorium, thinking himself very kind, caring and thoughtful for giving his secret admirer extra time to compose herself. She'd think him a gentleman, and be grateful her heart made the right choice for loving him instead of that rascal Shang Qinghua.
After taking his sweet time walking, Shen Yuan finally arrives at the auditorium. Excitement bubbles inside him at the thought of his secret admirer waiting for him. He makes his way around the building with a spring in each step, a bright smile on his features. With thoughts of a cute girl waiting for him, Shen Yuan rounds the corner to meet his secret admirer.
A greeting forms on his tongue, ready to burst forth, only to fizzle out when his eyes land on the person waiting for him.
It's Mr Highschool Heartthrob, Luo Binghe.
Wait, what?!
Shen Yuan stops dead in his tracks, his mouth wide open. Luo Binghe's not his secret admirer, or a girl at all!
Before Luo Binghe notices, Shen Yuan ducks behind a tree nearby and pulls the letter from his pocket to check. His eyes jumps to the line where she mentioned where to meet —yes, it says here to meet her behind the auditorium!
But the person waiting for him isn't a girl!
Shen Yuan takes a moment to breathe.
Maybe his secret admirer changed her mind on where to meet? Or another girl told her she wanted to meet Luo Binghe here so Shen Yuan's secret admirer had no choice but to move to another spot. Could she be waiting on another side of the building then? Or inside? Or maybe —
"Shen Yuan?"
Shen Yuan startles, making an undignified squawk as he falls backwards onto his bum in shock. A shadow looms over him and he looks up to find Mr Popular standing before him.
"Ah, sorry!" Shen Yuan scrambles to his feet, his face burning with embarrassment. Fuck, fuck, fuck, he must look like he was up to no good, squatting behind a tree like this! Dusting his butt off, a stream of words rush out of him, "I'll get out of the way if you're meeting someone here —"
"I was waiting for you."
Shen Yuan, who's already turning and ready to make himself scarce, freezes on the spot. He must've heard him wrong — of course he did, with all the construction going on across on the other side of the wall. He quickly regains his composure, flashing Luo Binghe a smile before he continues turning on his heel. "I won't keep you from meeting your girl, don't worry —"
A hand snatches his wrist. He gasps at the grip, and twists around.
Every time Shen Yuan saw him, Luo Binghe exuded confidence and charm, handling every social interaction as if it was second nature. Girls liked him; guys wanted to be his friend; even the teachers thought he was brilliant!
Even when they spoke to each other one time when they both got caught in the rain after school, Shen Yuan had went home thinking Luo Binghe was the kind of guy he wished he could be.
If only he was half as cool as Luo Binghe!
So when Shen Yuan finds Luo Binghe staring back at him, pale and wide-eyed, he's shocked to say the least.
"What —" Shen Yuan begins.
"It was me," Luo Binghe blurts out, lacking his usual silver-tongued grace. "I wrote that letter."
For the longest time, Shen Yuan doesn't say anything, or rather, he can't find anything to say. It's not that he wasn't prepared for a confession of sorts. After all, he spent most of his life thinking of the perfect way to respond to one!
It's just ... he didn't think it'd come from a guy!
Look, Shen Yuan's not homophobic, ok? He completely supports gay rights! He even read a BL novel from start to finish too (although his sister forced him to read it, but that's besides the point). He doesnt have anything against gay people!
If they liked someone of the same gender, fine by him! As Shen Yuan came to understand, it's not like they can help their attraction.
Moreover, gay guys don't pose a competition for Shen Yuan when it comes to girls, since they had different preferences, so that's one more reason not to mind them.But why did Mr Popular Luo Binghe, who seemingly has every girl tripping over themselves for him, who could have any girl in this school (and other schools, for that matter) be gay?
And why did he fall for Shen Yuan, of all people!
All Shen Yuan did was share his umbrella, that's all! It wasn't like he jumped in front of a bullet to save him.
Ok, well, he also did give his umbrella away because Luo Binghe mentioned that he had to walk some more after his stop and it was still raining at the time, but that's that!
Anyone could've done that!
It was an act of kindness, sure, but it was hardly any reason for a guy to fall for Shen Yuan.
It might've been a different situation altogether if Luo Binghe was a girl and thought him chivalrous, but this ... this was really nothing! It was simply bros looking out for bros.
"Shen Yuan?" Luo Binghe's strained voice breaks into his thoughts.
Shen Yuan blinks.
Luo Binghe has released his hand but the worry hasn't gone from his face. If anything, he looks paler than he did moments ago.
Alarm rushes through Shen Yuan.
A confession, even if it came from a guy, is still a confession. Fuck, if Shen Yuan doesn't find a way to reply gracefully (and subtly turn him down), Shen Yuan doesn't know if he can haul Luo Binghe all the way to the nurse's office if he faints from the rejection!
Ack, but how does anyone respond to this? The pressure really is too much.
"U-um ..." Shen Yuan clears his throat. "Thanks for the letter."
Some color returns to Luo Binghe's face — ok, off to a good start! — but he still looks anxious.
"I didn't realize that was your handwriting," says Shen Yuan, trying for a small laugh to lighten the mood. "It's very —"Girly, he wants to say, but refrains from doing so in case Luo Binghe finds that offensive. "— pretty," he says instead.
Luo Binghe nods, still tense.
Shen Yuan glances at his other hand, trying to look for something to say about the letter, only for his heart to lurch.
The letter isn't there.
Frantically, he looks around and spots the letter on the ground a few feet away. It must've moved from the small breeze.
He rushes to pick it up —
— only for a gust blow his way.
"NO!" he cries out as the letter flies away in the wind. He runs after it, but it keeps going further out off his reach.
Despite not being written by a girl and that it was from the last person he expected, that Shen Yuan's first and only Valentine's Day letter!
Watching it soar in the wind away from him makes him feel like his heart has been ripped out of his chest.
Soon, Luo Binghe's face comes into view. "Shen Yuan," he says, his voice low, "don't cry."
What? Don't cry?
Shen Yuan rubs at one of his cheeks, prepared to show Luo Binghe that he isn't crying, only to find his hand coming away wet. He wipes at the other cheek and that too is wet. When he looks up at Luo Binghe, he notices the edges of his vision are blurring. He opens his mouth only to taste salt.
"I'll write another one for you," Luo Binghe says.
Shen Yuan suspects he must look terribly pitiful for Luo Binghe to promise him something like that.
"No, no that's —" ok, except Shen Yuan hears his own voice cracking. He tries for a smile but his lips tremble, refusing to cooperate. "I'm fine."
Luo Binghe isn't convinced by the lie; neither is Shen Yuan.
Shen Yuan tries to smile again, reaching up to pat Luo Binghe's arm. "It's ok, things like this can happen," he says but he can hear the failing effort to sound positive and unaffected. "I should've been more careful with your letter."
"It's not your —"
"It must've taken you a lot of courage to write it for me," Shen Yuan continues, stubbornly trying to get the rest of the words out before he excuses himself to cry in a corner. "And a lot more to confess to me in person," he adds and hates how his voice wobbles despite his best attempts to keep it steady.
Look, he knows he sounds cringe but apart from him trying to do his best not to bawl right now, he isn't being insincere at all! As a gay guy, what Luo Binghe did was admirable. If Shen Yuan was him, he would've let his feelings fester and hopefully die, knowing that he would never stand a chance with a straight guy!
Heck, even when Shen Yuan crushed on girls, he never worked up the nerve to confess, always ending up watching them be taken away by someone cooler and hotter.
Luo Binghe huffs, the sound halfway between an exhale and a laugh. "I was committed to it," he says, rather self-deprecatingly, which Shen Yuan didn't expect him to sound. He walks away briefly and when he returns, Shen Yuan notices the box of chocolates and a rose.
This isn't even commitment, this was as close to a declaration of undying love.
Even though Shen Yuan's straight, he can't help blushing at the gesture. He's touched, really! No one's ever put in this much effort for him.
"You don't have to give me an answer now, or ever, to my confession," says Luo Binghe as he gives the chocolates and roses to Shen Yuan. Their fingers brush at the exchange, and Shen Yuan's heart flutters when they touch.
"But I hope you like these," Luo Binghe finishes, his dark eyes holding Shen Yuan's gaze.
Shen Yuan blushes again. "I do," he says, clutching Luo Binghe's gifts to his racing heart. "Thank you, Binghe."
"Whoa, i've never thought she'd pull all the stops to confess to you!" Shang Qinghua remarks when Shen Yuan returns to the classroom. "Chocolates and a rose?" He snickers.
The backhanded compliment flies over Shen Yuan's head. He doesn't even respond to him, instead sits down at his desk, still clutching his gifts. A few classmates take notice and congratulate him, but Shen Yuan barely hears them.
All he can think of is what happened earlier. He still can't believe Luo Binghe, of all people, confessed to him and even brought him gifts but he's still in shock over what happened right after.
"Are you free this weekend?" asks Luo Binghe.
Shen Yuan blinks. He thought Luo Binghe would walk away and let him process everything. "Er, I should be," he answers.
"Then can I take you out on a date?"
Heat rushes into Shen Yuan's cheeks. He said yes, but only because he was still in shock over what happened. But even if he had answered thoughtlessly, he wouldn't have given a different answer if you gave him a chance.
Luo Binghe was so sweet.
And ... kinda cute.
Shen Yuan blushes at his thoughts, feeling warm and fuzzy all over as images of Luo Binghe fill his mind.
Argh, what has he become! Before today, he never thought a guy would confess to him, much less ask him out on a date!
Just when he thought he'd spend the rest of his life as a single dog, Luo Binghe shows up and sweeps him off his feet like that. To think that Shen Yuan even said yes to Luo Binghe, and doesn't regret it despite identifying as 'straight'.
Shen Yuan sighs, unaware of the smile on his lips as he turns to look out the window.
It's nice to be liked.