Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Buck leaned into the kiss, savoring the fingers under his chin and the warm lips pressing against his. They were so very familiar now, but Buck remembered how surprising and unexpected this first kiss had been. The memory of Tommy kissing him for the first time was a precious one, though Buck didn’t remember ever dreaming about it before.

“Like this?” Tommy asked with this mixture of breathy excitement and hesitancy Buck hadn’t recognized at that moment, too distracted by the turmoil Tommy had caused inside him, and too unfamiliar with the little changes in Tommy’s voice that often said so much more than his words.

Buck slowly opened his eyes and stared at Tommy. Strangely, this didn’t feel like a dream. “Yeah. That works,” he murmured, following the script he remembered from that evening.

There was a small smile flicking over Tommy’s face. “So that was okay?”

Buck nodded, confused more about how this felt like the real moment and less like a dream. He stared at Tommy’s mouth, trapped between the well-known desire to kiss him again that had overcome him the first of very many times that night and the confusion of what was going on. “It was better than fake mouth static.”

Tommy chuckled. Then, nearly as out of the blue as the last time, he said, “I got a shift.”

“Okay.” Buck’s hesitancy didn’t come from the fear of being rejected right after being kissed as the first time he had lived through this moment, but from his confusion about being trapped in some kind of strange deja-vu that really couldn’t be anything but a dream no matter how it felt.

“Yeah, crosstown traffic, and I came in a car this time. So, what are you doing on Saturday?” Tommy looked so nonchalant, but Buck could see his nerves now after he had spent a year learning all of Tommy’s little mannerisms and tells.

“Uh, S-Saturday?” The horrible first date Buck really hated to remember at all.

“You still owe me that beer.”

Buck nearly laughed if he weren’t still so confused and lost. He had never paid for a single beer when they had been out even a year into their relationship. Buck had started teasing Tommy about guarding that debt with his life about half a year into their relationship. Whenever it was Buck’s turn to pay for their date, Tommy ordered anything but beer.

“You free?”

“Yes. I-I am free.” The first time Buck had been in this moment it had felt like the most amazing discovery, as if something he had been missing for all his life had suddenly fit. This time it felt like a lie, but he couldn’t break the script even as he tried for the first time since this strange moment had started.

“Great.” Tommy practically beamed at him in delight for a moment, but then he turned away, slowly moving in the direction of the door. “So, let’s say I come by around 8?”

Buck hesitated for a moment, trying to say anything else than what he remembered of this conversation, maybe even just changing the proposed time. But when he opened his mouth, the same words as last time fell out, “Yeah, 8 is great.”

“Great. See you Saturday.”

“Saturday,” Buck murmured. He remembered his giddy excitement from the last time he had been in this moment, but now all that was left was bewildered confusion. He wished he knew what was going on so he could savor the chance to relive this moment in the way it deserved.

Tommy had already opened the door when he turned around and said, “And, for God’s sake, please call Eddie. Now would be a good time. He’s on pain pills.” With that he left, his easy laughter echoing in the loft even long after the door had closed.

Buck staggered as the force that had stopped him from doing something different or even just saying something different vanished from one moment to the next. ‘Call Eddie!’ echoed through his mind, though strangely it didn’t sound like Tommy’s voice at all. Instead, Buck gasped for air and fell into the nearest chair.

Buck stared at the closed door, trying to wrap his head around what was happening to him. He wasn’t dreaming, he was much too aware for that to be the case. There was no other explanation for what was happening, though, because how else could he be reliving this moment that had happened a year ago?

A startling clarity about this being true burned in the back of his mind, but Buck didn’t want to believe it. What had the year he remembered been if it had never happened? How had he dreamed up a whole year with so many things happening? Because if he wasn’t in the dream now, those memories had to be the dream, hadn’t they?

Buck flinched when his phone rang. It was Eddie’s ringtone, and Buck answered the call without thinking about it, too caught up in the fog of his confusion. He didn’t say anything, though, just held the phone up to his ear and exhaled loudly. He didn’t know what to say.

“Buck.” Eddie’s voice wavered. “Please tell me you remember, too. I don’t know…” Eddie gasped. “I don’t know what happened. But somehow, I’m sure you should remember, too.”

Buck swallowed. “I do.”

If Eddie remembered, Buck hadn’t dreamed anything up. And he would have been horrified about himself if he had dreamed up the horror that Eddie had gone through in that year. But if they both remembered and that year had been real, what was happening to them right now?

Buck swallowed. “I’ll come over. Stay put.”

He grabbed his keys and barely remembered to switch off the light in the apartment in his hurry to leave. His thoughts kept circling and circling while he drove to Eddie’s place. When he arrived at the house, he still couldn’t make sense of anything, didn’t have any kind of explanation, didn’t even have an idea of what had happened other than time travel — which was impossible, right?

Buck let himself into Eddie’s house and found Eddie standing at the door of Chris’ room. It hit Buck like a punch in the gut: Christopher was home. For the first time in nearly a year, Eddie had Chris sleeping in his own bed here in LA. He couldn’t imagine how Eddie had to feel about that after his parents had been utterly uncooperative in helping Eddie and Chris heal together once they had taken Chris to Texas. Instead, they had successfully sued for custody.

“Eddie,” Buck whispered and carefully grabbed his shoulder.

Eddie flinched. “I can’t stop watching him.”

“Yeah.” Buck sighed and slowly pulled Eddie away from the door, closing it quietly. “But we need to figure out what’s going on and don’t want to wake him up, right?”

Eddie nodded, but he kept turning his head to look back to Chris’ room until Buck pushed him down on the couch. Buck sat down on the table because he didn’t feel going away any farther from Eddie but also needed to face him.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Buck asked.

“Getting blackout drunk with you because my parents had canceled my visit with Chris, again,” Eddie said darkly.

Buck nodded slowly. “Yeah. I watched you getting drunk and then carried you to your bed. Went to sleep on the couch. Then I thought I dreamed about Tommy kissing me for the first time, but it wasn’t a dream. It was really happening again.”

Eddie blinked. “It’s that day?”

Buck chuckled. “The pain in your foot hasn’t told you that already?”

Eddie shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Barely stings. I told you, the trip to the ER was mostly unnecessary. Just needed to make sure I hadn’t injured myself in a way that would impact work.”

Buck sighed and nodded. It had been a pretty long conversation the first time around which had included all the possible injuries that often occurred during the kind of pick-up game they had played. Buck had come out of it only more convinced that basketball was an insane sport and that both Eddie and Tommy should stop playing. Of course, they hadn’t, and Buck had still come to watch them play sometimes and even gone to see some NBA games live with Tommy.

“What the hell happened?” Eddie asked. “I … suddenly was sitting on the couch here and texting with Marisol. Wait, you were with Tommy! Did he remember?”

Buck bit his lip. “I don’t think so. But I don’t know. I couldn’t … I tried to do something different from how I remembered it once I understood it wasn’t a dream, but I couldn’t until he left. I … I don’t think he remembers. He’d have come back if he did, right?”

“Did you call him back as soon as you were able to?” Eddie asked, brows raised.

Buck shook his head. “I had this urge to call you. But I couldn’t…” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m still so confused. I thought at first I had dreamed that whole year up. My whole relationship with Tommy. I didn’t think any of this was real until you called. And Tommy had told me to call you, so I didn’t think anything of the urge to call you.”

Buck stared at Eddie, who had his head turned in the direction of Chris’ room again. He was happy for his friend and also for himself that Chris was back with them. They had missed Chris terribly, and it had broken Eddie so much when suddenly he had been told from so many directions that he wouldn’t get his son back, that they all thought him a horrible father. It had broken Buck a little, too, and turning all that back was good.

But at the same time, dread coiled in Buck’s gut. Because there was Tommy, who probably didn’t remember, who had just asked Buck out on their first date as far as he knew while Buck already knew so much about Tommy, had so many memories of them together. It was a disconnect he didn’t know how to deal with, so he had shoved those thoughts aside on his drive over to Eddie’s house.

“All I could think of at first earlier was calling you. I just knew I needed to talk to you.” Eddie flexed his jaw and added grimly, “Whatever is happening to us, I won’t make the same mistake as last time. I won’t lose Chris again.”

“Yeah,” Buck agreed. “And it won’t even be difficult. You know where Kim works, you can just avoid ever going there. Or talking to her. It won’t throw you the same way it did last time if you see her again either.”

Eddie nodded.

“What about Marisol?” Buck asked.

Eddie lowered his gaze. “I think I already … We were texting and in the middle of discussing her possibly moving in while Chris was on the weekend trip with the Diaz cousins. I saw that and before I even knew what had happened or started wondering, I texted her that moving in was a horrible idea. I haven’t answered any other of her texts yet.”

That had probably sent a clear signal to Marisol, Buck thought. But that didn’t mean the relationship was over, and Eddie would need to have to deal with that.

“It was a horrible idea,” Buck said. “And not because of the things you didn’t know about her yet. But entirely because you really didn’t discuss it with Chris. I don’t know why dating always fucks up your head.”

Eddie made a face and shrugged. “I’ll ask her to meet me on Saturday and break up with her. There isn’t … There is no point trying to make it work with her.” He chuckled sadly. “At least we won’t disturb your first date with Tommy again. And you get a total do-over of that.”

Buck shook his head. “Do I, though? How can I build anything truthful with Tommy with all that knowledge in my head already that he doesn’t know about?”

“Tell him,” Eddie said.

Buck looked at him incredulously. “You can’t be serious!”

Eddie frowned. “He believed you — eventually — that you were cursed. Helped you lift that curse. Maybe I will change my mind about not believing you about the curse after this. How the hell did this happen? What did we do?”

“We didn’t do anything,” Buck said. “Not that I remember. I didn’t even have one of these silly thoughts you get sometimes. You know, about turning back time to get a second chance? I only felt sad and frustrated for you. Angry at your parents. And a little guilty.”

“Guilty?”

Buck shrugged. “Your life is … was falling apart because your parents are assholes and I … Tommy and I had talked about moving in together earlier today. I mean, not today. That day.” He shook his head. “This is horrible.”

Eddie smiled sadly. “You shouldn’t put your own life on hold because mine is a mess. I’m happy for the two of you. And I still think you should tell him what is going on with us if you’re concerned about being honest. It’s … The alternative is not even trying, right?”

Buck made a face. That wasn’t an alternative at all. He wouldn’t give up on Tommy, even if that meant finding a way to navigate around all the knowledge and memories he had. Buck had been thinking about building the rest of his life with Tommy for well over half a year, and he wouldn’t let himself be robbed of that.

Buck bit his lip. “So, wait. We are just accepting this?”

Eddie stared at him blankly.

“I mean, come on. Time travel? Where did this come from? Why did it happen? Should we try to reverse it?”

“I’m not going to try to reverse it!” Eddie snapped.

Buck sighed. “Right.” He wouldn’t either, honestly. He wouldn’t do that to Eddie and Chris, even if it meant he might lose Tommy and the best relationship he’d ever had. “You are right, I’m sorry.”

“It feels like we should just accept it, right?”

Buck made a face. “And that feeling is what’s making me really nervous about this! Why aren’t we talking about losing our minds? Instead, we’re sitting here and just accepting that we somehow traveled back in time?”

Eddie shrugged. “What else can we do?”

“I don’t know!” Buck dragged his fingers through his hair. “I just feel we should … freak out a little more than we are doing? Why does this feel so real and we aren’t really questioning that?”

Buck understood why Eddie’s first thought was not to repeat the mistakes of the past. He felt the same. There was a quiet acceptance settling deep in his chest that they were here now and it didn’t matter how they had gotten here, they should just use it for the best. But it was that acceptance that made him truly freak out over the whole situation.

“Again, what else can we do?” Eddie asked. “I’m pretty sure we shouldn’t go around and tell just anyone what happened to us. Because they won’t believe us.”

“You just told me I should tell Tommy!”

Eddie gave him a look. “That’s different. He’s not anyone. Tommy is special. He is the first person you ever dated who accepts every aspect of you, who loves every aspect of you. I think it’s worth it trying to hold onto that.”

“He’ll think I’m crazy,” Buck muttered desperately.

“I think you need to trust in the connection between you,” Eddie said. “I know you weren’t aware that you were drawn to Tommy at all in the beginning, but you both were. And everyone except Tommy and you saw it. Though, maybe Tommy did see it a little at least. You were utterly blind to your own emotional landscape, though.”

Buck bit his lip and lowered his gaze.

“Be honest with Tommy,” Eddie repeated. “I’m sure everything will turn out alright.”

***

Buck stopped with his hand on the doorknob. He had been so nervous throughout the whole shift the previous day that everyone had noticed and asked about it. Several times Buck had very nearly blurted out that somehow Eddie and he had traveled back in time a whole year, but the words had always been stuck in his throat. Not because he feared the reaction — which he really should, and he had never intended to just blurt it out he had just a problem settling his thoughts around it all — but because something had held those words back.

So now Tommy stood on the other side of the door, expecting to pick up Buck for their first date, and Buck was shaking from nerves for a very different reason than the first time he had been in this moment. His plan was to follow through with Eddie’s suggestion because Buck really couldn’t see any other way forward than to be utterly honest with Tommy. But the experience of the past day had taught him that he might not be able to follow through with that plan.

Buck opened the door with a nervous smile and was met with Tommy’s warm and inviting smile. He was overcome with longing immediately. Buck wanted to sink into Tommy, greet him with a kiss and a lingering hug. It felt as if his heart was shattering with the knowledge that he couldn’t just do that.

“Hey,” Buck said. “Come in. We got a moment, right?”

“Yes, of course.” Tommy watched Buck, still smiling but hesitance shining in his eyes.

“Been a while since I was so nervous and excited before a first date,” Buck said, just to reassure Tommy that he wasn’t going to cancel the date at the very last moment.

“I’m flattered,” Tommy said, and Buck saw the grin he was barely able to contain.

“So, before we go to that very nice restaurant where you booked a table for us, I need to tell you something,” Buck said, and he only noticed that he might have said too much already when Tommy raised his brows. Buck grinned sheepishly and ducked his head. “Right, I shouldn’t know about the table at Micelli’s.” 

Buck cleared his throat. It seemed whatever had held him back from saying anything to his friends, it thankfully didn’t work with Tommy. “What I’m gonna tell you will sound crazy, I know that. I’m still completely confused about it myself, honestly. So, Eddie and I somehow traveled back in time.”

Tommy stared at him, his mouth hanging open slightly.

Buck shrugged and raised his hands helplessly. “Told you, it sounds crazy. But it really happened. I lived through that whole next year, convinced you to give me a second chance after I was an utter idiot during our first date because I was just so nervous. And we got to know each other and learned the small and big things about each other, were there for each other throughout a couple of very difficult moments. It’s been one of the best years of my life because of you despite some horrible things that also happened. Then I fell asleep on Eddie’s couch and thought I was dreaming of our first kiss. Except, I wasn’t dreaming but I was back in this moment.”

Tommy cleared his throat. “Evan, I have no idea—”

“I know how this sounds! The last two nights, I woke up convinced I’d wake up beside you again and all this was just a bad dream. But that’s not what happened. So, I spent the last two days wrecking my head on how to build an honest relationship with you when I have all these memories of us falling in love and you don’t have them!”

Tommy flinched and stumbled. 

“Tommy?!”

Buck rushed forward and caught him just in time as Tommy’s legs buckled under him. Tommy grabbed Buck’s shirt and didn’t let go even after Buck had helped him to the next chair.

“Fuck,” Tommy groaned, breathing heavily

“What happened?” Buck asked, alarmed. “Should I call 911?”

Tommy shook his head. “No.” He gasped and pulled on Buck’s shirt. “Stay. Give me a moment.”

“What’s going on?”

“For the record, I still think you were adorable during that first date and just not ready,” Tommy murmured.

Buck huffed and opened his mouth to protest with their usual banter because it had become something they teased each other about quite often, but then he froze. “Wait — you remember!”

“I do,” Tommy whispered and leaned his head against Buck’s chest. “My head’s killing me, but I remember. I didn’t until the end of your monologue, though.”

Buck cupped the back of Tommy’s head with a hand and sat down in the nearest chair with a heavy thud. Tommy moved with him, and Buck hurriedly pulled the nearest chair over with his foot so Tommy wouldn’t tumble to the ground. With his head still resting against Buck’s chest and Tommy kept holding onto Buck’s shirt.

Buck sighed. “I’m sorry for the headache, but I’m really glad you remember. I didn’t expect that.”

“How the hell did this happen?” Tommy asked.

“I have no idea,” Buck murmured. “Can I get you something for the pain?”

Tommy shook his head. “It’s already getting better. Felt like being hit by a truck, though.”

Buck pressed a kiss in Tommy’s hair. “I’m so relieved you remember. I didn’t know how to … be honest and still get our relationship back. I thought … The thought of losing you hurt like nothing else.”

“Not going to lose me,” Tommy promised.

Buck held onto Tommy silently as the fear that had steadily grown over the past two days slowly dissipated. For Chris, Buck wouldn’t have wanted to reverse whatever had happened, but he hadn’t known how to deal with the consequences it could have had for him and Tommy. In the end, he had spent the last two days holding onto Eddie’s words and not thinking about anything but a positive outcome. But the fear had still grown.

After several minutes in silence, Tommy slowly raised his head and sat up straight. He watched Buck warily, and the pain was still evident in the hard lines on his forehead and around his eyes. “What did Eddie and you do?”

“Nothing!” Buck protested. “Eddie got blackout drunk because his parents keep … kept sabotaging his relationship with Chris.”

Tommy nodded. “I knew that much. I’d have gone with you if I hadn’t been on call. And I still think Eddie should’ve just gotten on that plane and showed up in front of his parents’ house unannounced. Fuck that custody decision, they had no right to keep Eddie from seeing Chris!”

“Thankfully, that isn’t a problem anymore because Chris isn’t in Texas. And we won’t let all that bullshit happen again,” Buck said. “But I honestly don’t know what happened. Or how we got here.”

“You didn’t get cursed again, did you?” Tommy asked skeptically.

Buck glared at him. “No! And if you look at it from Eddie’s perspective, it’s not a curse anyway.”

Tommy nodded. “More like a blessing for him. So, how did we end up here and who caused it?”

“I don’t even have an idea where to start looking for these answers! And I’ve spent a lot of time looking up anything about time travel on the internet yesterday and today. All I got was fiction and some obscure physics texts I wasn’t really able to follow as soon as they gave more than an overview.” Buck huffed and asked disgruntled, “Why did you remember two days later than Eddie and I?”

“I think you made me remember,” Tommy said with a warm smile. “I don’t think I would’ve remembered if you wouldn’t have told me about it. I can’t explain it, but that feels very much like the truth.”

“Eddie told me to trust into our connection,” Buck whispered. “I was … pretty convinced I’d lost you. And he told me to just tell you the truth. And I just thought either you’d believe me or I’d lose you anyway. I’m so relieved Eddie was right.”

“You are not going to lose me,” Tommy repeated.

Buck laughed and moved from his chair to Tommy’s lap, kissing him deeply. “I missed you. It’s just been two days, but I really fucking missed you. And I didn’t know what to do to get back what we’ve built.” He leaned their foreheads together and closed his eyes when Tommy wrapped his arms around Buck’s waist and pulled him close. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Tommy whispered against Buck’s lips. “How long do you think we need to wait now before we can go through with those plans to move you into my house?”

Buck laughed. “I don’t know. I really don’t care what everyone else will say about it.”

Tommy hummed. “What kind of plans have Eddie and you made already?”

“To stay away from Kim,” Buck said. “And if he still runs into her, he won’t talk to her at all. That’s what led to him losing Chris.”

Tommy pulled his head back and looked at Buck with a frown. “And the rest of the list?”

“I … don’t have a list. Yet.” Buck huffed when Tommy raised his brows in clear doubt. “I don’t! I spent the last two days panicking!”

Tommy smiled sadly, “Okay, I see that. What’s Eddie doing right now.”

Buck shrugged. “Sitting at home probably. He broke up with Marisol this morning. Promised not to disturb our first date again no matter how bored he got.”

Tommy laughed and softly pushed Buck from his lap. “Okay, then we are disturbing his evening in solitude. Because we need a plan.”

“We are supposed to go on a date!” Buck protested.

Tommy chuckled as he stood and pulled Buck into a much too-short kiss. “We have a whole extra year for dates now. Making plans about how to use that time for everything else we can use it for is more important.”

Buck huffed.

“I’ll make it up to you later,” Tommy promised with a wink.

***

Eddie opened his door with a frown to find Buck and Tommy in front of it, with Buck carrying several bags of takeout. He stared at them for a moment. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a date?”

Buck huffed and glared at Tommy for a moment. “We are. But Tommy thinks it’s more important to make plans.” He held up the bags. “So we brought food and no booze to keep a clear head.”

Eddie raised his brows and laughed when Buck pushed past him and turned to the kitchen. “So, Buck told you?”

“And I remember halfway through his rant,” Tommy said.

“What?” Eddie asked surprised.

Tommy shrugged. “The headache is still lingering. I think I remembered because Evan told me. So, thank you for convincing him of that.”

“And then you canceled your date on him?” Eddie shook his head. “You know you’ll pay for that, right?”

Tommy grinned widely. “I’m very much looking forward to paying for it. But that’s for later tonight when we’re back at my place.”

Eddie held up his hands defensively. “That’s more information than I wanted!”

Tommy laughed. “You did ask.”

“I believe I really didn’t!” Eddie protested. Then he sighed and smiled. “I’m glad you remember. I … For me, this is a gift. But I know it would’ve been horrible for Buck if he’d lost you over it.”

“Not going to happen,” Tommy said. “I’m not giving up on the best man I ever met.”

Eddie laughed and waved Tommy in the direction of the kitchen. Tommy and Buck’s relationship hadn’t been without bumps in the road and one of those bumps had been Tommy’s insecurity at one point. There had been a week where Tommy had been adamant about manipulating himself, and Eddie had eventually figured out that Tommy believed himself unworthy of the commitment and love Buck had shown him. Eddie was glad they had figured out how to move past that and that Buck wouldn’t need to go through that fight again.

“I hope we didn’t interrupt anything,” Tommy said.

Eddie huffed. “What’s there to interrupt? I broke up with Marisol this morning and Chris is on the Diaz-cousins weekend. I was just sitting around and trying to figure out what to do with my time.”

“You need hobbies,” Tommy said. “Some hobbies that aren’t necessarily dependent on someone joining you. Chris is back now, but that doesn’t mean he will spend all of your free time with you. Or that he’ll be welcoming of any kind of hovering. Though I’d understand if you wanted to do that.”

“Barely let him go yesterday morning,” Eddie muttered.

“That’s part of the reason why we are here,” Buck said and Eddie turned to find him carrying plates loaded with food into the living room. “What are you doing there standing around uselessly? We’ll need paper and pens to make our lists.”

Eddie laughed and rolled his eyes as he turned to get those and left Tommy to help Buck with the food. A couple of minutes later they sat around the coffee table on the floor, each of them with a legal pad and their food in front of them.

“What’s a Diaz-cousins weekend?” Tommy asked.

“All kids around Chris’ age come together for a weekend at one of the parents’ places,” Buck said. “Never happens here because someone declared Eddie’s home too small, so we never get to chaperone!”

“Ha!” Eddie pointed a fork at Buck. “The one time a big sleepover happened here you didn’t want to help chaperoning! And it’s Chris who declared he’d never again invite more than two friends at once over. I’m eternally grateful for that. There are between eight and twelve children around for these weekends. That’s its own kind of hell.”

Tommy chuckled. “So, where are they this weekend?”

“Rafael’s place,” Eddie said. “My aunt Pepa’s oldest son. He picked Chris up from school yesterday and will drop him off there again on Monday. So I won’t see him until Monday afternoon. Which sucks. I wish we’d have landed a little bit earlier.”

“No!” Buck protested immediately and blushed when Tommy grinned widely. “I mean…”

Eddie frowned, feeling a little pang of guilt. Landing earlier would’ve meant making things for Buck even more difficult concerning his relationship with Tommy. “Right, that’s … I’m sorry, I feel very selfish right now.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Buck muttered. “I understand the thought. But you could just go over to Rafael tomorrow, help him and his wife with watching after the kids.”

“Maybe,” Eddie agreed. He didn’t know if Chris would be very happy about it, but he knew help was always welcome and he really needed to see his son again.

“So, keeping Chris here in LA is the very first point on our list,” Tommy said. “Buck mentioned it won’t be difficult to stay away from Kim. But I think we need to consider your parents will try to take him away some other way. I didn’t feel comfortable bringing this up before, but it very much felt as if they were prepared for that custody battle.”

Eddie made a face and nodded. “They tried in the past. Before we came to LA. And it’s something they have been constantly bothering me about. They are convinced I’m a horrible father and ‘pulling Chris down with me’. Though, I’ve never quite understood what they mean by that. Other than that I’m clearly an utter disappointment as a son.”

“The only ones who are an utter disappointment are your parents,” Buck said darkly.

Tommy sighed. “You need a lawyer, Eddie. So that whatever they try you won’t be caught unaware again. They used a situation that was already pretty horrible for you to get what they wanted. And they didn’t care how much they hurt you in the process.”

Eddie gritted his teeth and stared at the legal pad. Then he grabbed the pen and wrote down ‘1. family lawyer’. Tommy was right and there was enough reason to justify his concerns to anyone he would talk to about this. Being prepared for whatever his parents brought was the best he could do for the time being.

“Get a therapist and keep working on your shit,” Buck said. “Because I know there are still things you haven’t worked through concerning Shannon.”

“Will be difficult to trust someone if I have to keep this secret of the time travel,” Eddie said. “I have no interest in ending up in a psych ward.”

“The only person I could tell about it was Tommy,” Buck said and lowered his gaze bashfully. “I nearly blurted it out a couple of times. To warn Hen about Ortiz, you know? And to tell her to take care with Mara’s first couple of days in their family. They’ll get her on Monday, right? And it was a bumpy road those first couple of days. But I couldn’t tell her anything.”

Eddie frowned thoughtfully. “Why could you tell Tommy then?”

“For the same reason I remembered when he told me, I hope,” Tommy said.

“We don’t know the reason for that either!” Eddie said.

Tommy chuckled. “You’re the love of my life, Evan. I thought so before this. I can only see this as confirmation.”

“I feel very much the same,” Buck whispered and leaned to Tommy.

Eddie huffed and studiously concentrated on his food for the next minute or two. His friends were sickenly in love and the honeymoon phase just didn’t seem to end for them.

Eventually, Buck cleared his throat. “Okay, sorry, Eds.”

“I’ve long gotten used to your antics,” Eddie said, rolling his eyes. “I’m very happy you found this kind of love. And that it was strong enough to withstand whatever happened to us.”

“You’ll find that kind of love one day, too,” Buck promised. “And I don’t believe it was Shannon. Because if it had been all of that would have gone very differently. But I do think you still have some work to do there. You found a therapist in the future you were really comfortable with, right? Maybe you should try to make an appointment there. You clearly don’t need to worry about saying anything about the time travel.”

“I think we need to test the boundaries on that first a little bit,” Tommy said. “Try to hint at it with other people. Some of our friends, who’ll not question it when we claim it to be a joke should we say too much.”

“Maybe figure out if we can tell Hen or Karen anything useful after all,” Buck agreed. “Or if we can set anyone on Ortiz to investigate her.” He frowned. “Maybe that’s something Taylor would be interested in.”

“Are you crazy?” Eddie asked. “You’re not going to trust that woman with anything! Especially not concerning our friends!”

“She kind of owes Hen something,” Buck said darkly.

“Talyor?” Tommy asked. “Your ex?”

“The reporter Taylor Kelly,” Eddie said. “Who is, incidentally, also Buck’s ex, yes. She won’t care that she owes Hen for running the story about Jonah too early. Look at that fucking book she wrote!”

“I think it’s still worth trying. Oritz is a big fish. She was much too comfortable using her power to haunt Hen, she probably has done it in the past. Probably covered her son’s DUIs up in the past, too. That’s the kind of story Taylor likes to tell. She’ll do it for that alone.”

Eddie turned to Tommy, looking for help.

But Tommy only raised his hands defensively and shook his head. “Using a reporter you know for something like that seems to be the best solution. And I don’t know how else to stop Ortiz. Her son is already dead, Hen is already on her radar.”

Eddie shuddered. “Right.” 

They’d have had to land a lot earlier to fix that, and he didn’t even know if it could have been fixed. As far as he remembered, Kyle Ortiz hadn’t shown any symptoms and what he had died of couldn’t have been treated by any paramedics anyway. Not that any of that had ever mattered for Olivia Ortiz.

“I mean, maybe we don’t need to talk to her,” Buck said. “We can send her an anonymous tip about Ortiz. Make it interesting and juicy enough that she’ll start looking into it.”

“She might be mercenary, but she isn’t dumb, Buck. She’ll know that tip came from one of us as soon as she learns Ortiz is out to ruin Hen’s life.”

Buck shrugged. “So? At that time, she’ll know enough about Ortiz that she probably doesn’t want to let go of it.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Tommy said.

“That’s a point for my list then,” Buck said and made a note on his legal pad.

“I think we should make a list of good things we want to repeat as well,” Tommy said. “Otherwise, this will turn depressing very fast.”

Buck laughed. “Oh, I already have a list of all the dates I want to repeat with you!”

“I thought you didn’t have a list?” Tommy asked with raised brows.

“We had to order food, wait for the food, and drive over here. That was enough time to make that list!”

Eddie hid his laughter behind a cough.

Tommy grinned. “I think we need to talk about that list later in private.”

“Yes, please feel free to have that conversation without me,” Eddie agreed.

“You aren’t getting around that dance at my sister’s wedding this time!” Buck said, completely ignoring Eddie’s words. “We know how Chimney got sick. If we can make him wear a mask when he goes into that vent to get the guy out, he won’t get infected. So, the wedding will take place as planned!”

“Or make sure he gets treatment in time instead of the hospital dropping the ball by not informing him as soon as they knew what the guy in the vent was suffering from!” Eddie agreed. “They deserve their dream wedding.”

“Are you doing the bachelor party again?” Tommy asked.

Buck made a face and shook his head. “I only did it because Maddie insisted. I’ll follow Chimney’s direction this time and just not do it.”

“Wanna bet he is going to complain about that, too?” Eddie asked, grinning.

Tommy chuckled. “That’s a sucker’s bet. Not going to lose my money over that. And I promise I’ll be there for that dance. I’m going to request a personal day off for the date first thing tomorrow.”

Eddie groaned and contemplated getting a beer after all. It would be a long, long evening with Tommy and Buck flirting as if it was truly their first date instead of a planning session about how to use this second chance they had gotten.

***

Eddie couldn’t help himself as he watched his son, who was totally engrossed in his video game. He should be taking care of the bills of the month which had turned out to be a little more difficult than usual because there were things he just didn’t remember anymore because for him it had been a year. So, instead of fighting with that, he distracted himself by watching Christopher and enjoying that he had his son in his house again.

Chris huffed and put the controller down. “You’re really strange, Dad!”

“Yeah?” Eddie asked, grinning.

“You’ve been watching me all the time the whole week!”

Eddie sighed. He had hoped it would go unnoticed by Chris. “I guess I have. I’ve been a little bit in my head.”

Chris looked at him with a frown. “About what?”

Eddie shrugged. He left his place at the dining table, sitting down on the couch opposite Chris. “About several things. Your mom, for example.”

Chris bit his lip. “Is that the reason you broke up with Marisol?”

“No.” Eddie shook his head. “Sometimes you learn something about another person that’s difficult to reconcile with. That changes your view of them.”

“Marisol was great,” Chris said.

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, sure. But she also once wanted to become a nun and was pretty far ahead on that journey. And that was something I couldn’t deal with. It sucks, but … I don’t go to church with you. I would if you ever wanted to, but I don’t think it’s something I’d ever do for myself again for several reasons. But some things I learned as a child are still very much stuck in my head. I liked Marisol, but I was nowhere near falling in love with her. So, I decided it wasn’t worth forcing myself to work through those issues to make our relationship work.”

“If you have issues, you should work through them,” Chris said tartly. “You told me so!”

Eddie grinned and lowered his head. “Using my own words against me, really, Mijo?”

“Just fair,” Chris muttered.

“I’ll work on those issues,” Eddie promised. “But that will take time. And I didn’t feel Marisol deserved to be strung along while I did that. Especially as I don’t know how I’ll eventually feel about it even after working through those issues, you know?”

Chris watched him with a frown. “No?”

Eddie sighed. “Sometimes you work through a problem and the end result is that you’re generally okay but won’t want to do something. Like, after the tsunami. Buck and you both had to work through some problems with water and the beach. And you both enjoy going to the beach again, now. But it would have also been okay if you had generally been okay with going to the beach but hadn’t found the joy in it anymore, right?”

Chris bit his lip. “I guess.”

“So, I can work through my issues with anything concerning the faith I grew up with and turned my back to at one point and still decide that I don’t want to go back to that faith. Or that I still might not be comfortable dating someone who nearly became a nun. I don’t think it would have been fair to let Marisol wait for however long I’ll need to figure that out, do you?”

“I guess,” Chris agreed.

“I think it might be good for me to not try to date for a little while,” Eddie said softly. “To just concentrate on myself and you for a while. Until I feel comfortable with myself again.”

“You said you were thinking about Mom,” Chris said hesitantly. “Is that because I was angry at her a while ago?”

Eddie hummed. “In part. I mean, I think about her pretty often. There are just a lot of things that remind me of her. Or I’m sad about her missing out on sharing your experiences. I miss her. I think somehow, I’m still very much in love with her. But I’m also often angry at her. That’s two things that can be true at the same time, you know? I needed a while to understand that, too.”

Chris stared at him with a deep frown.

“We never talked about the letter I gave you,” Eddie said carefully.

Chris rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “We don’t need to!”

Eddie smiled sadly. “Maybe we do. Or maybe you need to talk with someone you’ll feel more comfortable with to share your thoughts and emotions without holding back.”

“Like a therapist?” Chris asked skeptically.

“Exactly like that, yeah.” Eddie sighed and watched his son carefully. He hadn’t always been good at seeking therapy for himself, but he had learned in that future that didn’t exist now anymore that he needed to do more of that work. He had only just begun with that before Buck and he had been sent back for whatever reason. Despite that, Eddie had tried to always frame it as something good for Chris, something positive and helpful. “I’ve been looking into therapists for myself over the past week or so. Maybe it would be good to find someone for you, too.”

Chris made a face.

“You went to therapy in the past,” Eddie said. “It really helped you after the tsunami, right?”

Chris sighed. “Yeah. But I was a baby then.”

Eddie laughed. “You were already far away from being a baby, believe me. You went again after I was shot and that wasn’t that long ago. But I agree, we probably need someone who is specialized in the age group you’re in now.”

“There didn’t happen anything now that traumatized me,” Chris muttered and turned his head away. “I talked about Mom a lot after the tsunami, too.”

“But as you pointed out, you were really young then,” Eddie said. “I think, maybe, getting older is changing how you think or feel about certain things your mom did. It might even change how you remember certain things. Because you have more experience now and just think differently about life than you did when you were younger.”

Chris shrugged.

“I won’t force you,” Eddie promised. “But I very much want you to think about it. And maybe it doesn’t need to be about your mom at all, but just about your life in general. I want you to have a save place where you can freely talk about things you might not want to talk about with me or with Buck.”

Chris sighed and shrugged again, but didn’t say anything.

Eddie chuckled. “Okay, that’s maybe enough of that topic for the moment, huh?”

Chris bit his lip. “Why do you keep dating if you still love mom?”

Eddie sucked in air and exhaled slowly. “That’s … a really tough question, buddy. I … There are a couple of reasons, I think.” He hesitated, trying to decide how he wanted to approach this. “So, one of the bigger reasons — and the one I recognize now is really a bad reason — is that I feel it’s expected.”

“By whom?”

“Everyone?” Eddie chuckled and shrugged. “Tia Pepa tried to set me up just before I started to date Marisol. Did I tell you how she asked me over to her house claiming she needed help repairing some pipe in the kitchen, but then she was sitting there with one of her friends and the niece of her friend, having coffee and cake but no trouble with pipes anywhere?”

Chris laughed. “She didn’t!”

“Twice!” Eddie said. “So, Tia Pepa’s friend’s niece and I agreed for the Tias’ sake to go on a date. And then we both couldn’t be fast enough in telling the other that we really didn’t want to be there on a date.”

Chris laughed so hard, he nearly toppled from the couch.

Eddie huffed. “Yeah, sure, laugh about my pain and humiliation!”

“So, you started dating Marisol?”

“I ran into her when I got a couple of things at a hardware store,” Eddie said. “You know how we met, and that Buck and I went to help her with the repairs to her house later. So, I already knew that we’d get along. It was a stupid reason to ask her out, though. I enjoyed the time we spent together, and I was glad you got along with her so great. But it wasn’t … There wasn’t any kind of spark between us. At least not from my side.”

“You acted a lot like friends,” Chris said.

Eddie smiled sadly. “And maybe we could’ve been if I hadn’t asked her out on a date.”

Chris frowned. “Athena is still friends with Michael. And they didn’t just date. They were married. And had kids!”

“True.” Eddie chuckled. “But I think you need to be a certain kind of person for that. And I’m not sure I’m that kind of person. So, I don’t think we’ll see Marisol again anytime soon. But you’re right. If you want to be friends with someone you dated and it works for both of you, that’s completely okay.”

“So, you dated because other people thought you should?” Chris asked.

“And I thought I should,” Eddie said. “It’s something my parents taught me to want. I should find a good girl, marry her, have children with her. That’s all I ever heard growing up. It’s difficult sometimes to get these things out of my head.”

Chris lowered his gaze. “You’ve never told me that.”

“I try very hard not to tell you any of the things I know had a negative impact on me,” Eddie said. “Assuming how you want to live your life when you’re an adult is something I’d never want to do. That’s your choice. About any potential partners as much as about your education, your career, your hobbies. The only expectation I have for your future is that I very much hope you’ll be happy whatever you do.”

Chris sighed deeply. “Yeah, okay.”

“I mean that,” Eddie said. “And I’ll keep reminding you.”

“We’re talking about you, though. Dating hasn’t made you happy?”

“Dating your mom made me happy,” Eddie said. “Even when we fought or disagreed on things, just having her in my life made life seem to be more vibrant, you know? The relationship didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love her. Dating Ana or Marisol? That didn’t really make me happy, no. So, I’m not going to do that for a little while anymore. Not until I’ve figured out how to let go of Shannon.”

“And if you never figure that out?”

Eddie sighed and stood to sit down beside Chris. He pulled him into a one-armed hug and pressed a kiss on top of his son’s head. “I’ll figure it out. We both will figure out how to remember her without our memories of her haunting us. Just as much as I’m not made to be friends with people I dated, I also think I’m not made to be alone forever. I have faith that one day I’ll meet another woman to fall in love with and spend the rest of my life with.”

***

Tommy carefully adjusted his arm lying over Evan’s chest as he turned just slightly to watch his boyfriend sleep. It had been a week since he had shown up at Evan’s place thinking he would take him out for a first date only to be hit by the memories of a whole year of already dating him. The headache and nausea had lingered for days.

He had just gone with the vibe that evening, but since then there had often been moments where he had wondered about all of it, even questioning all of their sanity. Sometimes he wanted to believe all of it was a crazy dream, but somehow those doubts were always shoved away fast. It felt strange to be so certain that they had traveled back in time without even knowing how or why it had happened.

In the end, these thoughts always ended with Tommy being relieved that he had remembered when Evan had told him about the time travel. The relationship with Evan was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and it felt like a special kind of validation that their love for each other had withstood a kind of separation that should have been impossible.

Suddenly, Evan sat up and grabbed Tommy’s wrist. “Billy!”

Tommy blinked. “What?”

“Billy Boils!” Evan said. “I completely forgot about him.”

Tommy groaned. “Don’t tell me you think his curse has anything to do with our situation.”

Evan shook his head. “No, of course … uh?” He turned to look at Tommy. “Do you think it could have something to do with it?”

“No,” Tommy said, dragging out the ‘o’ exaggeratedly. “I’m still not sure there even was a curse.” He’d never admit that he pretty much had begged Billy Boils to lift the curse when they had stood at his grave. Evan hadn’t heard it, and he never needed to know about it. Especially as something they had done had worked because the boils had been gone the next morning. “What about him is bothering you if you don’t think this is part of his course.”

“He is trapped in being rented out as a prop again!” Evan said. “We need to take care of that! Get him a funeral again!”

Tommy nearly laughed fondly and saved himself from that misunderstanding just in time by clearing his throat. Because he knew Evan would have misunderstood him laughing. “Okay. Any plans on how to do that? Most importantly, without getting cursed again when he thinks you’re renting him to use him as a prop.”

Evan turned and glared at him for a moment. “You’re not funny! But we went through this whole process once. I think we do need to rent him, though, to prove he is real and get things rolling. We’ll just have to explain it to him.”

Tommy sighed and nodded. He wrapped his arm around Evan’s waist and pulled him back to lie down again. “It’s five in the morning, though. You won’t be able to do any of that for another three hours.”

Evan huffed. “I could do research.”

“Or you could go back to sleep and depend on the research you already did even if it was in that future that doesn’t exist anymore,” Tommy murmured. “I think there are much better ways we can use this time for.”

Evan looked at him with a wide grin. “Oh yeah?”

Tommy hummed and trailed his hand over Evan’s belly.

“You weren’t sleeping,” Evan whispered.

“I was watching you,” Tommy freely admitted. “And thinking about how lucky I am to be here with you. I’d happily take that fucked-up headache again if it meant not being separated from you by two different sets of memories.”

Evan laughed and kissed him. For the rest of the morning, all sleep was forgotten.

***

They ended up burying Billy Boils in the exact same spot as last time. Tommy wasn’t quite sure how they had ended up here, but he had already learned before they had buried Billy Boils for the first time that sometimes Evan just knew how to work a miracle. It was a little bit of a mystery and Tommy didn’t know if he was eager to uncover it or to just admire it for the rest of his life.

Evan cleared his throat and stared at the grave. “So, here we are again. For Tommy and me it’s just been half a year since we came here for you the last time, no idea how long it feels for you.” Evan chuckled. “I mean, you probably don’t even have a sense of time anymore, right? Or you don’t remember just like everyone else and are just utterly confused about who Tommy and I even are.”

Tommy grinned and lowered his gaze.

“I’m glad we got here without you cursing me again,” Evan said. “That really wasn’t very fun last time. So, I’m really glad to avoid it this time. But you see, I still think what I said last time is still true. You cursing everyone misusing your corpse as an attraction was a cry for help and I’m still listening.”

Evan inhaled and turned to look at Tommy for the next words, “It’s our people that make life worth living. I honestly feel that now even more than back then.” He smiled for a moment, then turned to the grave again. “You make memories with them. And I’ve got a year full of memories in my head now, but only two other people still share those memories with me. I told you last time that I can’t imagine something more painful than going through life alone, and that’s become only truer now with what happened to Eddie, Tommy, and me.”

Tommy inhaled deeply and fought the urge to pull Evan into a hug. They all three struggled often with their memories of a future that didn’t quite exist like that anymore. Sometimes it was just a little thing that had happened with one of their unsuspecting friends they wanted to bring up because something of that memory fit their current situation only to choke up on the words because it hadn’t happened for the person they were with.

Their test runs in talking with people about their knowledge of things to come had been an utter failure. Tommy remained the exception while neither of them was able to even hint at things they only knew because of their time travel with anyone else. It made preparing for some things they desperately wanted to prepare very difficult.

“I think going through death alone still beats that, though,” Evan continued quietly. “Especially the way you had to do. You might have done some horrible things when you were alive, but that doesn’t mean you deserved what happened to you after death. I promised you last time, I’m in your posse now. That’s not stopped being true just because I’m somehow stuck in going through this year a second time for no reason at all. You can rest in peace half a year early now. And I know that’s not a lot of time overall, but I think it matters.”

For nearly a minute Evan stood quietly in front of the grave and Tommy wondered what he was telling Billy in his thoughts that he didn’t want to share. Eventually, Evan turned around and left. This time, Tommy followed him right away. There wasn’t a curse he needed to beg to be lifted, after all.

They were silent for several minutes into their drive. Then Evan sighed deeply.

“You know, when we did this the first time, this was the moment that I recognized for the first time how deeply and madly I fell in love with you,” Evan said.

Tommy chuckled and reached over to take Evan’s hand. “Really?”

Evan hummed. “You don’t remember what you said to me, do you?”

“No, I’m sorry,” Tommy said quietly. “Though, I remember how I felt when you looked right at me and said it’s our people who make life worth living for. Like you were talking to me and about me in that moment.”

Evan squeezed his hand. “Yeah? How did that make you feel?”

“Loved.” Tommy stopped the car at the side of the road so he could turn all his attention to Evan. “I knew I was falling in love with you. I mean, come on, I knew I’d end up there when you invited me for a coffee after our first date failed.”

Evan grinned and blushed.

“I didn’t know where you were emotionally, though, and you know what kind of insecurities I fell into a while later,” Tommy said softly. “I knew where you were in that moment, though, even if I didn’t trust it for very long afterward.”

Their first big fight had been caused by Tommy not trusting the love he had felt at that moment and him making the other shoe drop instead of waiting for it because in his experience happiness wasn’t something that stayed long in his life. Evan had very thoroughly proven him wrong and had since then helped Tommy work on those insecurities.

Evan smiled sadly for a moment, then he leaned in for a short kiss. “You told me that you admired how much I cared for people and how I showed that. Even for a guy who had been dead for a hundred years.” He cupped Tommy’s cheek with his hand and leaned their foreheads together. “It made me feel seen in a way I don’t think people often do. And even if they do see part of it, it’s always twisted by expectations.”

“I don’t know, I have plenty of expectations,” Tommy said, grinning. “Like spending the rest of my life with you.”

Evan chuckled. “Yeah. You know that’s not the kind of expectation I’m talking about. You came with me to Billy’s funeral to be there with me. You didn’t tell me I was crazy or mock me. And that’s not … It’s just not something people do for me. That made me really understand how special you are. How lucky I was to have you in my life. That I want to keep you in my life for as long as possible. And it was the first time I thought ‘I love you’.”

“God, I’m so glad I’m here with you,” Tommy whispered, eyes closed and holding onto Evan’s neck. “Even if we never find out what happened to you and Eddie to bring us all here, I’m so glad you dragged me into this with you.”

***

Buck laughed as he fell down into the chair right beside Tommy and Eddie shoved a plate full of food in front of him. “What, are you afraid I’m going to starve?”

“I’m starving,” Tommy declared. “Thanks, Eddie.”

“It’s your own fault,” Eddie said with raised brows. “You should’ve known Buck wouldn’t let you get off that dance floor the whole night when he told you he needed someone to dance with at his sister’s wedding.”

“And how should Tommy have known that?” Chimney asked, settling on a chair not too far from them.

It was late in the evening and the party was very slowly settling down. The children had already left hours ago heading for different sleep-over locations and by now half the adults had left as well. It had been a great day.

Chimney huffed and continued, “I mean, they’ve barely known each other for six weeks.”

Buck shared a grin with Eddie and Tommy. If Chimney only knew. But by now, Buck was glad that no one else knew and that somehow they were protected from just spilling the beans. It made it more difficult to accomplish the goals they’d set for themselves, but it did mean they didn’t have to watch every single one of their words.

“Don’t know, feels already like more than a year,” Tommy said and knocked his knee against Buck’s.

Buck nodded slowly. “Definitely.”

Karen laughed. “You’ve got it really bad, huh?”

“Not ever letting this one go,” Tommy said with a soft smile and Buck leaned in for a kiss without thinking about it.

“Kinda felt at times as if you were trying to steal our show,” Maddie complained, but she was laughing and so clearly not really meaning the slight accusation in her words.

“I’m pretty sure I saved your show,” Buck said with raised brows. “Dragging Chim to the doctor with that headache? Spared you from marrying in the hospital.”

“True.” Hen pointed her glass at Chimney. “You were insisting it was a stress headache when I asked you about it. I told you to go see a doctor.”

“Could’ve hardly known the guy in the vent was suffering from viral encephalitis!” Chimney muttered.

“Still.” Maddie grabbed Chimney’s hand and looked at Buck with a fond smile. “Thank you. You’re right, you kind of saved this day. And having Howie home and off work for a couple of days right before the wedding was great, too.”

“Yes, thank you,” Chimney said, but then he glared at Buck playfully. “Doesn’t mean I’ll forgive you for not throwing me a bachelor party!”

“You said you didn’t want one!” Buck threw his hands in the air. Chimney hadn’t stopped complaining about this since the previous evening when he had understood that Buck really hadn’t prepared one in secret.

Chimney rolled his eyes. “Of course, I said that. You should’ve known I wasn’t serious about it.”

Buck shook his head. “I don’t know how I should have seen it, but whatever.”

“Shouldn’t it have been Hen’s responsibility to organize a bachelor party?” Karen asked and looked at her wife with raised brows.

Hen raised her hands and shook her head. “I was very explicitly told not to bother, too! So, I didn’t even think about it.”

“I’m glad you got the wedding you deserved and dreamed of this time around,” Buck said and received a teary-eyed smile from his sisters. 

She wouldn’t know that he didn’t only mean her wedding to Doug — which none of her family had even attended because their parents had refused, and Buck had been too young to get there on his own — but also this very wedding the first time around. When they had been here for the first time, Buck had wondered for weeks if he should have somehow caught on to Chimney being sick. He had felt as if he had failed his sister by not looking out enough for Chimney, even though he had known that was a silly thought.

Maddie laughed and for a while, the conversation turned into everyone gushing over different moments of the wedding. This time it had been all Maddie had dreamed of and everyone at the table knew that because Chimney had spent the past months making sure everything would turn out exactly like that.

For a little while, Buck had feared all of it would be ruined again when Eddie and he hadn’t been able to convince Chimney to wear a mask when he went into the vent to get the patient out. They hadn’t been able to argue much about it, and Chimney had ignored their separate suggestions without even commenting on them. So they had watched him like hawks and Buck hadn’t let Chimney’s protest deter him at all once he had complained about a headache for the first time.

Chimney had been treated, and so this day had started as it should have the first time around. It had been hectic at times to ensure that several things not going quite as they had been planned not disrupting the wedding, but all of that had been small things. Buck was sure he and Hen had managed to keep the small fight he’d had with his mother from Maddie, and that she also hadn’t noticed that the catering hadn’t been delivered on time. Overall, there had been only small hick-ups during the day this time around.

“The two of you have been a surprise,” Karen said and pointed at Buck and Tommy. “A pleasant one, though. Usually, I know when Tommy is dating someone new!”

“Oh, really?” Buck asked with a grin and leaned forward. “So, Tommy didn’t tell you about me during your wine nights, really?”

The first time around it had been nearly three months before Buck had learned that Tommy and Karen were close friends, usually meeting once a week for an evening full of wine and gossip. Buck had only learned about it because Buck had had a little accident at work and not told Tommy about it because he hadn’t thought it would be necessary. But then Tommy had shown up at the loft, disgruntled and worried, a little tipsy from the wine, and very determined to make sure that Buck was okay. First Buck had thought Eddie had tattled until Tommy had complained about learning about Buck’s injury through Karen. In retrospect, it had been a very amusing conversation.

“He has been suspiciously absent during our wine nights,” Karen said, chin raised and glaring playfully at Tommy. “You canceled for the last four weeks.”

“Lies!” Tommy protested. “Two of those weeks you were the one to cancel on me! And excuse me for keeping my new relationship to myself for a little while instead of letting you tell me things about my new boyfriend I can very well learn on my own!”

Karen laughed. “In my book, it doesn’t count that I canceled. I didn’t know about any of this until Buck dragged you to the dance floor and I feel I should have!”

“We should all have known,” Chimney said with a frown. “Coming out at my wedding is not cool, Buck. You should have told us a long time ago.”

“Chim!” Hen hissed.

Buck shrugged. “Maddie knew. And I figured she’d tell you. With the two of you keeping no secrets and all that.” He looked at his sister. “I told you Tommy would be my date to the wedding like two weeks ago.”

In Buck’s book, that conversation had gone a little bit better than the last time. Mostly because it had been his choice to come out to her instead of slipping with the pronouns while really seeking advice about a very different topic, at least in his mind. Much later, when Buck had had time to think about the first couple of days after Tommy had kissed him for the first time more clearly, he had felt uncomfortable about how it really hadn’t been any kind of choice on his part to come out to Maddie. It was one more thing he was glad to get a do-over for.

Maddie chuckled. “Yeah. I … Honestly, I had planned to tell Howie! But there were so many things going on, it just slipped my mind.” She rolled her eyes. “Also, it’s not that big a deal, really. I don’t think anyone here is surprised that you aren’t straight.”

Chimney laughed, and with the way it was a little too loud, it was clear that he’d had a little too much to drink. “Yeah, no. That’s not any kind of surprise. The surprise is that you could keep it under wraps for so long. And the partner you chose to come out with after all. We were all expecting you and Eddie to hook up eventually.”

Several people groaned in embarrassment and Maddie slapped Chimney’s arm and hissed, “Howie!”

“What?” Chimney asked confused. “I had a hundred bucks placed on Eddie and Buck making out at my bachelor party!”

Tommy laughed loudly and turned to Hen, “You’ve really been placing bets on Buck and Eddie?”

Hen shrugged and lowered her gaze. “Maybe?”

“So, that’s why you’re so put out I didn’t organize that bachelor party?” Buck asked with raised brows. The first time it had come up, he had been angry about the bets, but he was long past that. He hadn’t known about that particular bet, though.

“They did,” Maddie said, chuckling. “And yes, I tried to help win that money back when I asked you to organize that party for Howie.”

Buck pursed his lips and watched her thoughtfully. This time she had already asked him about the party when he had come out to her, but last time she had known about Tommy before that. But Buck also remembered what she had said about Eddie when Buck had come out to her because those words had seemed so strange that they had stuck in his head.

“So, who put money on none of that ever happening?” Eddie asked. “They have to have won a whole bunch of money now, right? Because I can promise you, Buck and me? That’s never going to happen.”

Buck turned to his best friend with a grin while leaning his back against Tommy at the same time. “Oh, so you don’t want to kiss me, Eds? You’re breaking my heart here!”

“And risk Tommy’s wrath?” Eddie asked, grinning as well.

Tommy wrapped his arm around Buck’s waist. “Maybe we can come to some kind of agreement. You know, as long as I can watch and be part of the action in general.”

Karen laughed so hard that she nearly fell off her chair, while Hen and Chimney groaned, and Maddie hid her face in her hands.

“Oh my god, stop it!” Chimney said through gritted teeth.

Buck pointed a finger at him. “You started it!”

“I did not!” Chimney protested.

“I’m pretty sure you were the first person to place a bet on Buck and Eddie,” Hen said, looking not a single bit ashamed about ratting out her best friend. “That was right after they blew up our ambulance on Eddie’s second shift. I think your exact words were ‘20 bucks say they’re fucking by the end of the months’. So, technically, you did start it all.”

“You blew up an ambulance?” Tommy asked aghast. “Why haven’t I heard about this before?”

Buck waved him off. “Not important. These bets are much more important right now. I agree with Eddie, someone has to have placed a bet about him and me never happening. I mean, I love Eddie, but not like that.” He shuddered. “Just thinking about kissing Eddie is kind of off-putting. No offense, Eds.”

Eddie shook his head. “None taken, I fully agree with your sentiment. That’s not going to happen, no matter how much they’d pay us. So, who did win this pot? I need to know that at least some of our friends are sane!”

“Ravi and Lucy,” Hen admitted grudgingly. “And it’s become quite a pot over the years.”

“I want to know about this ambulance,” Tommy said. “How did you blow up an ambulance?”

Hen was all too happy to explain in much detail how Eddie’s first two shifts had gone, highlighting all of Buck’s insecurities in those days to distract from the bets. Buck shared a look with Eddie and leaned into Tommy’s embrace. There would be other opportunities in the future to tease their friends about their silly bets.

***

Eddie held out the cup of coffee, but it took Bobby a long moment to react to him. Eventually, Bobby took the cup with a grunt. He kept staring at his house which had turned into a crime scene. Eddie knew Bobby hadn’t slept at all, that the bomb squad had arrived just minutes after Bobby had come home.

The house had been evacuated, but the fire had still broken out. It hadn’t destroyed the whole house this time as the 133 had already been here but there was enough damage that Bobby, Athena, and Harry would have to find another place to stay for a couple of weeks while repairs were underway.

“How’d you know to come here?” Bobby asked.

“Mehta called,” Eddie said. “After he couldn’t reach Chimney or Hen or Buck, I believe. But I’m still pretty far up on the list of people to call. Where is Athena?”

“Harry’s staying with a friend tonight, Athena decided to drive over and tell him in person that we are okay.” Bobby sighed. “Coffee at this time of night might not be a good idea.”

Eddie huffed. “Police will want to talk with you. You need to be as awake as possible if they want to go with you through your whole adventure in the desert again.”

Bobby frowned and took a sip of the coffee. “You think that’s what this is about?”

“What else?” Eddie asked.

The problem with wanting to help Bobby and Athena had been from the very beginning that they barely knew anything about it. They hadn’t even remembered Bobby’s little adventure in the desert until Bobby had already been gone. But even after that neither Buck nor Eddie had been able to say who exactly had burned down their house except that it wasn’t the man from Bobby’s past who he had followed into the desert.

They hadn’t even remembered at first when exactly the house had been set on fire until Tommy had reminded them it had been the day before Chris had left the first time around. Eddie had been so focused on other things in the weeks after that and Buck had been right at his side the whole time, so they had never gotten many details about any oft.

In the end, that had left them with not many choices. Tommy had finally suggested they should call in an anonymous hint about a threat to Bobby and Athena’s house and that’s what they had done.

“Everyone there was arrested, though,” Bobby said. “The only one … I can’t imagine Amir did this.”

Eddie huffed. “No. I heard one of the people from the 133 mention that there were propane tanks placed in several locations around the house. That doesn’t sound like the work of a single person. And you just saved Amir’s life, didn’t you?”

“I also ruined his life ten years ago,” Bobby whispered.

“And where would he get all that propane? How would he have placed it all by himself without being noticed?” Eddie asked. He knew he needed to find a way to turn Bobby’s thoughts on this around. “I don’t believe for a moment that everyone from the cartel was arrested, Bobby. I think you need to point the investigators in the direction of that other investigation. You might have made a couple of enemies that won’t easily go away again.”

Bobby sighed. “Yeah. That’s probably true. And all I wanted to do was make amends for … the most horrible mistake of my life.”

Eddie shrugged. He didn’t know much about what Bobby had gone through because Bobby had been tightlipped about it both times. He had his thoughts about Bobby tracking down one of the victims of the fire back in Minnesota, but Eddie didn’t think now was a good time to share those thoughts. Maybe there never would be a good time to share them.

“Where is Chris?” Bobby asked.

“At home. One of my cousins came over and is looking after him. Buck would kick my ass if I weren’t here to look out for you. He’ll be so put out about Mehta not reaching him earlier.”

Bobby chuckled. “Yeah.”

Buck had been worried about their anonymous call being traced back to them, so he and Tommy had gone on a little trip out of town to make the call from a pay phone a little out of the way. They’d come back the next with some story about a short two-day trip, a little romantic getaway. 

Eddie hoped they would truly use at least part of these two days for exactly that. They deserved some time to themselves after the past couple of weeks. All their energy since the wedding had gone into trying to get someone to look into Councilwoman Olivia Ortiz, but nothing they had done had born any fruits. Now Mara had been taken away just the previous day, just the same as it happened the first time around.

“Thank you for coming bye,” Bobby murmured. “I … It’s good not to be alone right now.”

“Are you sure Athena is checking on Harry, though?” Eddie asked. “Because I wouldn’t put it past her to go after the arsonist on her own. She raised her children in this house. I can’t imagine how she’d feel about someone trying to take it away from her.”

Bobby chuckled but shook his head. “No, she checked in with me after she got to Harry’s friend. And she promised not to butt into the investigation. I know my wife, Eddie. And I know you’re right. But she’ll not break that promise.”

Eddie nodded slowly. “Okay.”

This time it was very different to last time, he had to admit that. Bobby wasn’t on the brink of death, and the damage to the house could probably be repaired. Athena wouldn’t be quite as desperate as she had been the first time around.

Eddie watched Bobby worriedly. He didn’t know how to tell him to get his heart checked out. The heart attack from last time had eventually led to Bobby retiring, even though he had originally come back. But just before Buck and Eddie had been sent back in time, Bobby had told the 118 that he was retiring for medical reasons and that this time there would be no chance of him coming back. The writing had been on the wall for a couple of months, and no one had been surprised, but Bobby had clearly been unhappy about it.

“What?” Bobby asked eventually with raised brows.

“When was your last medical check-up?” Eddie asked.

Bobby rolled his eyes. “I’ve one scheduled for next week. Because of what happened in the desert. Athena insisted.”

Eddie exhaled slowly. “Good. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately. And I’m not looking forward to getting a new captain soon, you know?”

Bobby made a face but he didn’t say anything about telling Chief Simpson he’d retire. Eddie knew that was something they’d still have to face because they also hadn’t managed to dig up any dirt on Gerrard that could keep him out of the 118. Nothing they could prove, at least, even though Tommy was a wealth of information about a lot of questionable or outright illegal things Gerrad had done while he had been captain of the 118. 

The things the LAFD already knew were clearly not enough to keep him wherever they had stache him over the past decade instead of reinstating him as the captain of the 118. They knew they needed to find something else, but they also needed proof of that and so far, their search for that had been unsuccessful.

“You aren’t getting rid of me any time soon,” Bobby promised, though it sounded weak to Eddie.

Eddie nodded. “Good.”

***

Tommy stood leaning against the wall and his arms crossed over his chest. He felt helpless and angry, and he didn’t know how to make the whole situation better for Evan or Eddie or Chris.

Everything had seemed to go so well. They had been successful in saving Howie’s wedding and in preventing Bobby and Athena’s house from burning down. They hadn’t found anything to stop Olivia Ortiz’s scheme to take Mara away from Karen and Hen, but they had managed to get them a lawyer who was fighting for their family to be reunited. Eddie had stayed away from any place he could’ve met Kim, which had been the easiest of all things to fix. So things had really been looking good for their plans to create a better outcome as much as possible with this second chance they had gotten.

Until a week ago when Kim had suddenly shown up practically everywhere.

The first time had been right after one of the Thursday pick-up basketball games and Tommy hadn’t recognized her at first when Eddie had suddenly turned pale and walked away from the game. From there, she had shown up every day, sometimes more than once. As far as Tommy knew, she had tried to talk with Eddie as often as she could, and had revealed knowledge about him she shouldn’t have. To any unsuspecting bystander, it might look as if Kim and Eddie knew each other pretty well.

Then, the day before, she had shown up at Chris’ school when Eddie had picked him up, and from there everything had turned to shit. Chris’ reaction had been the same as last time and even though Evan had spent that night at the Diaz’s house and tried to talk with Chris several times, Eddie’s parents had shown up the next day again.

“I don’t believe that Chris called them!” Evan hissed, pacing through Eddie’s living room.

Eddie was in the kitchen loudly arguing with his parents and Chris had locked himself into his room. The situation felt volatile, especially as they all knew how this had ended last time. Tommy didn’t know what to expect from Eddie if Chris was taken away again, and for some reason, he knew even less how Evan would react to it. He felt they could both turn to doing something stupid and ill-considered at a moment’s notice.

“Chris wasn’t surprised that they showed up,” Tommy said.

Evan huffed. “So? They could have called him on their way here. Or they called him at the wrong moment and that’s how they learned about all of this. Nothing of this makes sense. Where did Kim come from all of a sudden? I mean, she turned into a freaking stalker last time, too. But then Eddie had practically dated her for weeks. This time he avoided her like the plague!”

“It’s strange,” Tommy agreed. “But a person getting obsessed with someone else usually doesn’t have a sane explanation. Or do you think Eddie’s parents somehow knew there was a doppelganger of their hated daughter-in-law running around LA of all places and hiring her to disturb Eddie and Chris’ life?”

Evan made a face. “It sounds kind of crazy if you say it out loud.”

“Because it is,” Tommy said. “It’s a crazy coincidence. We know what to expect from Kim and we’ll deal with that. Her stunt at the school yesterday should be enough reason for a restraining order.”

Evan made a face and nodded. “That she followed Eddie to the school alone should be reason enough.”

“We also know what Eddie’s parents want out of this,” Tommy said. “How do we stop that? Last time they were alone with Chris for a whole day.”

“Yeah, not gonna happen this time,” Evan said darkly and turned to stare in the direction of the kitchen with a frown. “I don’t understand how we got here again!”

Tommy shrugged and rubbed a hand through his hair. He wondered if they should have prepared for this more than they had. Somehow, they all had thought avoiding Kim was the only thing needed to fix the situation with Chris. Now Tommy wondered if they should have taken some legal precautions to create a safety network should Eddie’s parents try for some other reason to get custody of Chris again. It was too late for those thoughts now, though.

They really should have expected this and prepared for it. Last time, Eddie’s parents had taken Chris to Texas and three months later Eddie had had to face a lawsuit contesting his son’s custody. Which he had lost because Chris had told the judge he wanted to stay with his grandparents. Tommy might have only known Chris and Eddie for a very short time, but he had agreed with Evan that something about all of this was fishy, and not only because Chris had held onto his silence concerning his father for all this time.

“I’m going to try to talk to Chris again,” Evan said.

Tommy nodded but caught Evan by the wrist when he turned in the direction of the hall. He pulled Evan into a tight hug and kissed his temple. “We’ll get through this, okay? We know what their goal is this time, and we’ll find a way to stop them.”

Evan leaned against him heavily. “It all feels so … doomed right now. Like … This thing with Kim happening twice? It feels like…”

“It’s not,” Tommy whispered. “We both know Chris is supposed to be home with his dad. Eddie has been working with Chris on their shared grief over Shannon ever since we came back. We are in a different situation than we were last time.”

“Chris doesn’t know that,” Evan said brokenly. “For Chris … From everything Eddie said about that situation with Kim yesterday, Chris has to think Eddie has been meeting with her for a couple of weeks or even months. What’s her game with that?”

“I don’t know,” Tommy murmured into Evan’s hair. “But Chris trusts his father. And he trusts you. No matter how hurt he is right at this moment, I’m sure he’ll eventually listen to explanations.”

Evan sighed and shrugged.

“We just need to keep Eddie’s parents from taking Chris away,” Tommy said quietly. “Because we already know they’ll make sure Chris won’t talk to Eddie.”

Evan nodded. “But how? If Chris asks for it again, what could Eddie do but respect Chris’ wishes?”

“Did he ask to go to Texas last time or to just have some space from Eddie?” Tommy asked.

“I don’t know. He didn’t…” Evan shuddered. “It was Helena who told Eddie Chris had asked to go to Texas. I don’t think Chris ever said anything about it himself. Oh god. What if…”

Tommy swallowed. He hadn’t asked for the details about Chris leaving because he had known how painful it would’ve been for Eddie or Evan to talk about it. It was just another thing about all of this he very much regretted now.

“Okay. I really think we shouldn’t let Eddie’s parents have any time with Chris alone right now,” Tommy murmured. “And if they try to tell us that Chris asked them for anything, you’ll have to confirm that with Chris. You’ll have to ask Chris to repeat that request to you directly if he doesn’t want to say it to his dad directly.”

“Right.” Evan sighed. “No letting anyone play a messenger for Chris. I really should talk to him.”

“Remember that teenagers tend to say things they know will hurt when they’re lashing out because they are hurt,” Tommy said softly. “Don’t take any of that too much to heart.”

Evan huffed and glared at him when he pulled back, tears glistening in his eyes. “Easier said than done. But I’ll think of it.”

Tommy smiled sadly and shrugged helplessly. He got some paper and pens and settled on the dining table to start working on some ideas on how to help Eddie, Evan, and Chris deal with this situation. There wasn’t much else he could do.