Work Text:
“Okay, gotta run now, love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Sam hastily shoved the phone in the pocket of his jeans and started up a light jog towards the gate before they called him out over the PA system. That would be embarrassing, having everyone hear Captain America was late for his flight. Getting the vibranium shield and suit through the security check always took up more time than planned. And, yeah, so did talking to Bucky on the phone, when they got caught up bickering over the details of one thing or another.
“Welcome aboard, Captain America,” a flight attendant greeted him. “But don’t you have your own wings to fly?”
Sam made some smalltalk, explained why his suit was not really made for long-distance flights and posed for some selfies. Then he sidled past the other flight attendants who were already doing the pre-flight safety demonstration, and finally dropped into his seat.
As soon as his back hit the backrest, he jolted up again.
“Holy shit!”
***
“Okay, gotta run now, love you.”
Wait – what? Had Sam just said…? Was he…? Were they…? Sam had sounded a little out of breath. Maybe Bucky had just misheard? Because surely Sam wouldn’t simply tell Bucky over the phone that he loved him, right? A love confession warranted another situation, a sunset or maybe a moonlit night, roses, slow dancing, a candlelight dinner… Never mind – when Sam Wilson told you he loved you, you did not blow that chance.
So Bucky said the only logical thing:
“Love you, too.”
***
“Are you alright, dear?” The woman sitting next to Sam handed him a tissue to wipe up his spilled orange juice. “You look a little flushed, everything okay?”
His laugh came out slightly breathless, almost hiccoughy. “Don’t worry, I’m good. Just almost missed my flight, so I’m still a little… shaken.”
He was definitely more than a little shaken because what the hell had possessed him to end the phone call with an ‘I love you’? Who did that? Well, couples did. But he and Bucky weren’t exactly that kind of couple – they weren’t even a team (yet), they had agreed on that! And now Sam was in the air for eight long hours without wifi, which meant eight hours without the chance to explain to Bucky that… well, whatever, something. Eight hours of Bucky wondering what was wrong with his co-worker. Except that –
“Holy shit!”
***
How did you go on from the first ‘I love you’? It should normally be followed by a kiss but it also normally happened in person. How was Bucky expected to greet Sam next weekend? A kiss was too risky, could be overstepping. A hug? They always did hugs nowadays but it felt like something had irrevocably changed now, something that deserved more than a friendly hug. A handshake? No, that’d definitely be weird. Handshakes were for politicians and acquaintances. Maybe a very long handshake, some soul gazing…
Bucky scrolled through his phone, through the messages he and Sam had exchanged during the last few weeks, trying to find any clues, anything that explained what had happened today.
They texted a lot. Like, a lot: they sent each other several photos a day, wrote about the most inconsequential things, sometimes even just sent a quick message to wish each other a good morning. Was that normal? Not that Bucky expected anything about his life to be normal. He definitely did not have other people he texted regularly. Did Sam? Sam had many friends, but if he texted everyone as often as Bucky, he surely would not get anything done.
Bucky stared at the last texts from Sam.
Sam: Doctor says I’m good to fly, no concussion etc.
You: Should I say I told you so?
Sam: No.
Sam: Doesn’t change the fact that the helmet looks stupid on me btw.
You: You’d look even stupider with a concussion.
Sam: As always very eloquent, Mr. Congressman.
Sam’s messages looked perfectly normal, his usual tone and writing style. But what if the doctors had been wrong? What if Sam did have a concussion? That would explain why he blurted out silly things.
However, asking ‘Are you sure you don’t have a concussion?’ after a potential first ‘I love you’ would definitely come across as rude.
Damn, no matter what that weird exchange had been, he really hoped Sam was okay.
***
So Bucky had actually replied. Had returned Sam’s craziness. Had said the exact words ‘love you, too’, which was… totally crazy. Did that mean that he returned Sam’s feelings? … whatever Sam’s feelings were. Yes, he liked Bucky, liked him a lot. He just had not been aware that Bucky was the person Sam Wilson casually told ‘I love you’ instead of ‘see you, buddy’. Sure, there had been some goodhearted teasing from Sarah about him and Bucky being practically attached at the hip, and Joaquín had once awkwardly asked him if he and Bucky were ‘a thing’ because he had read some internet rumours – but Joaquín also believed that Steve was on the moon, and Sarah never let a chance pass to tease him.
After what Sam had said today, he was not really in a position to complain about rumours or teasing.
Whatever, he had long ago learned to ignore what other people said. He could not ignore what Bucky had said. Were they ‘a thing’ now? Had Sam accidentally asked Bucky out? He groaned and buried his head in his hands, ignoring the worried look from the woman sitting next to him. In the stages of their ‘thing’, they had already moved beyond asking out. Apparently they were at love declarations now. No, not even that. Not the grand gesture, no dramatic kissing in the rain, but the kind of ‘I love you’ of a long-time married couple.
Why had Sam simply ended the call instead of waiting for more? Something that would have given him a clue on how to go on from here. He should have given Bucky a chance to laugh it off. Sam himself could have laughed it off.
For now, as far as he could tell, there were two options:
Option #1: pretend they were a couple and had been for years and this was totally normal.
Option #2: pretend they were just buddies and nothing had happened.
Both were equally ridiculous.
There was just one good thing about it: Sam did not have to worry about getting texts from Bucky that said, ‘What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you sure you don’t have a concussion?’ Because Bucky had said it back. He had actually said it back!
Yes, Sam’s face must definitely be flushed right now, he could feel the heat creeping up his cheeks.
***
As always, Bucky tracked Sam’s flight. Not in a creepy way, just so he knew that Sam had landed safely. A few minutes later, he got a text from Sam:
Sam: Back in the USA.
Bucky overthought for several minutes and then simply reacted with a thumbs up emoji. Not only that he had to worry about how to greet Sam in person, he also had to worry how to text from now on. Was he expected – was he allowed to use hearts? Would he get little kissy faces from Sam?
But the most important thing first:
You: How’s your head doing? Everything still okay?
Sam: Ask me again after I’ve gotten a full night of sleep.
A mild concussion plus sleep deprivation? That would explain Sam saying silly things. But if he had accidentally said something he did not mean or something he regretted, he would have explained it by now, right? The fact that Sam texted him as if nothing unusual had happened was surely a good sign?
Sam: Don’t worry, it’s fine. Feels like a normal post-mission headache.
Maybe now it was Bucky’s turn to make the first move. If Sam was the first to say ‘I love you’, Bucky would be the first to send a heart emoji. Not the red one, that would be too romantic. Blue was a bit more… cool. Blue like Captain America.
Sam: See you next weekend in DC?
You: Sure, looking forward to it!
It was a relief that Sam still planned on meeting up, meaning things would not suddenly change and be awkward between them. Or – wait. Was it a date?
Bucky could hardly believe his eyes when Sam reacted with a heart, too. It was just a silly emoji, a little white heart on his phone screen, but Bucky’s 110-year-old supersoldier heart was fluttering like he was sick. Like he was a lovesick teenager.
Yeah, maybe he was going on a date.
With the man that he loved.
Who maybe loved Bucky in return.
***
Was he going on a date or was he simply meeting up with a friend?
The question had kept Sam awake at night. During the last days, they had exchanged text messages like they always did. Aside from that one heart. A blue heart – another thing that kept Sam awake at night. Red was the default. So Bucky must have carefully chosen that colour. Why? To signify that he did not love Sam in a romantic way? But why blue and not, say, yellow? Blue like the sky – because of Sam’s flying abilities? Or blue like the ocean? That would also make sense, because Sam’s late parents’ boat had been the place where they had really connected. Sam would never admit it out loud but he read up on colour symbolism. Wikipedia told him that the Virgin Mary was often depicted wearing blue, which was not helpful at all.
“What does it mean if someone sends you a blue heart emoji?” Sam eventually asked Joaquín after their mission debriefing.
“Oooh.” Joaquín’s eyes widened in delight. “Who is sending you heart emojis?”
“Emoji, singular. And who sent it is not the point.”
“It’s totally the point.”
“The point is the colour. Why blue?”
“Is it Bucky?”
“How do you – why would you think that?”
Joaquín nodded sagely, not hiding how smug he felt about having figured it out. “You have a picture of him in your office.” He pointed at said picture like Sam was stupid.
“So? I have a picture of you as well.”
“It’s different.”
“How?”
“He’s in the centre, and in that fancy frame, and you’re very close. On that picture, I mean. But also in general.”
Sam hummed thoughtfully and stepped closer to the shelf. He had chosen that picture because it reminded him of a fun night out they had had, where Bucky had invited him to a new restaurant he had discovered, then they had gone to see a late-night screening of some silly action movie and later to an underground jazz club, and then had aimlessly strolled through the city, slightly tipsy (in Sam’s case). Only at the first light of dawn had he had the realisation that they had never once talked about Captain America or the Avengers or Bucky’s past as the Winter Soldier but had just enjoyed each other’s company. He had told Bucky so: that he was glad they were friends, and Bucky had readily agreed and put an arm around Sam’s shoulders and kept it there for a while, which had been really nice.
So maybe Joaquín had a point.
Maybe Sam was in love.
And maybe Bucky felt the same way.
“You still haven’t answered my question: What does a blue heart mean, in your opinion?”
“I think the question should be: What does it mean to you and to… the person who sent it to you?” Joaquín, for all his easy excitement, eagerness and sometimes nosiness, sure had his wise moments. “What does the colour blue make you think of?” he continued.
That wasn’t hard. Bucky’s eyes.
Yeah, Sam was totally in love.
***
It was not dinner at a fancy restaurant but they just planned to meet up for coffee in that coffee shop where Sam had been a regular for years and had brought Bucky several times already. So probably not the kind of date that warranted Bucky’s best suit. But a shirt that brought out the colour of his eyes and one of his tighter jeans certainly wouldn’t hurt. It was ridiculous that Bucky put so much thought into his clothes but that was nothing compared to his fretting about how to greet Sam (kiss? hug? handshake?) and how to say goodbye after the maybe-date (kiss? ‘I love you’? handshake?).
In a last-minute moment of panic, he called Doctor Raynor to ask her for advice. She had once put them through couple’s therapy, so she must have seen something was there, even before they had, right? But she did not pick up the phone and there was no more time to try again because Bucky absolutely did not want to keep Sam waiting. Letting him think even for one second that Bucky had ditched him was unacceptable.
So Bucky was fifteen minutes early.
Sam was ten minutes early.
“You are early!” Sam called while walking towards Bucky. Bucky quickly scanned him from head to toe – no obvious injuries, nothing in his walk indicated he was in any pain. Bucky exhaled in relief.
“So are you,” he retorted, another wave of relief flooding him at the thought that Sam did not want to bail on him and their maybe-date but had made sure to arrive early. (The five-minute wait had been nerve-racking!)
“True.” Sam grinned, showing that tooth gap, which Bucky had always thought charming, but now that he had given kissing some thought, it was positively driving him crazy.
Sam hovered there seemingly indecisively, slightly leaning towards Bucky, lifting one arm, then letting it slowly sink again –
Okay, a hug it was. Bucky pulled him close and Sam immediately returned the embrace. Bucky held him a little longer than was, perhaps, necessary but Sam let him.
“It’s good to have you back in one piece,” Bucky mumbled against Sam’s shoulder.
“It’s good to have you not in a three piece suit for once.”
Bucky snorted. Everything seemed back to normal, in a good way: that they could easily switch between sincerity and joking around, that they did not shy away from closeness because of those unexpected ‘I love you’s.
***
It was one of the best first dates Sam had ever been on. Because they did not have to go through the tedious smalltalk to get to know each other and did not have to worry about leaving a good first impression. Because they already knew each other and knew that they liked each other and that they worked. And because Bucky threw in an offhand comment about Sam looking good. Yes, that was definitely extra nice. It was also nice that not much had changed at all. It was like any other time they had met up for coffee in the last months. Sam told Bucky about his mission, Bucky complained about all the ridiculous stuff he had to do as a congressman, they made vague plans to go on a fishing trip whenever they both found some free time to head done to Louisiana… Now it just had the added bonus of knowing that Bucky was someone who said ‘love you, too’ to Sam and sent him (blue) heart emojis.
***
By 18:00 Marco closed the coffee shop and shooed his last customers – that is Sam and Bucky – out.
So this was it, the moment of truth. They had successfully managed the ‘hello’ part and the whole maybe-date, but saying goodbye was where the ‘I love you’ came in.
“This was nice,” Bucky tried.
“Yeah, I told you the cappuccino was the best in town. Glad you finally listened to my advice and ordered the good stuff.”
“Still prefer the mocaccino. But, I meant, catching up, you know?”
Sam’s grin softened. “Yeah, that too. It was nice.”
“So I guess I’ll see you next month in Delacroix?”
“Yup. Unless there’s an alien invasion or evil androids trying to destroy the world before.”
“Try to stay away from that.”
“Not staying away from that is literally my job as Captain America.”
“I know. But you call me whenever there’s anything I can to do help, yeah? Doesn’t have to be aliens.”
“I will.”
“Okay.”
Sam smiled, nodded at him and made to leave. How to tell him that Bucky loved him and would do anything for him and would like to have the kind of relationship where they told each other ‘I love you’ but would also be totally okay with them simply keeping this wonderful friendship as it was and that he would never pressure Sam into anything?
Bucky opened his mouth. Quick now, before Sam left –
“I love you, buddy.”
Nailed it.
***
Okay, so they were doing this. They were acknowledging that it was not a one-time slip of the tongue but something that had definitely happened and something that was true: that this thing between them was love – whatever kind of love but definitely love.
Sam was only too happy to be the one to say it back this time.
“Yeah, love you too, man.”