Chapter Text
Turns out, lunch was pretty normal.
Jesse, Lukas, Petra, and Olivia are all fairly comfortable with each other by this point. Olivia had teased Jesse a bit about skipping, but for no other reason than it being “out of character.” Lukas made some offhand comment about how Jesse was already a bad influence on Petra on her first week into college, and Petra had shot back that maybe Jesse was just “bringing out her fun side.”
So yeah. It was… good. Less awkward than Jesse felt it should’ve been.
When the day was nearly over, Lukas invited Jesse to study again. Again, their mutual class wasn’t laying it down heavily regarding homework yet. But they could always work on their separate stuff while keeping each other company.
Besides—Jesse doesn’t mind hanging out with Lukas.
So, she finds herself back in the library, sitting across from him. It's the same table they’d claimed last time. A few students are scattered at nearby tables, flipping through books or typing away at their laptops, but for the most part, the place is just as peaceful as it always is.
Lukas is actually studying, notes spread out in front of him, pencil in hand as he works. Looks like lots of numbers, but no crazy, unfamiliar equations. Probably physics or econ or something.
Jesse, on the other hand, has barely glanced at anything. She has her laptop open so she at least looks busy. But instead, she’s just tapping her pencil against the table, her mind drifting back to lunch.
After breakfast today, which had been an experience already…Petra had been relaxed. More than usual. Maybe it was because she was getting used to Jesse, or maybe Jesse was just imagining things, but she could’ve sworn Petra had been looking at her differently. More attentive to her. Always looking to see what she had to say about something in conversation, if anything at all. Always watching her.
But not in a weird way! More so in an “I’m naturally drawn to you” kind of way. And Jesse can only say that so confidently because she feels the exact same way. She knows that she does the same thing with Petra.
Which was supposed to be unproblematic as long as Petra didn’t reciprocate. That would make it easier for Jesse to move on.
But now, feeling the tension between them being pulled taut from both ends…it’s so, so much harder to ignore. Doesn’t help that it's probably totally platonic on Petra’s end. It has to be.
Jesse shakes her head, trying to focus on whatever’s on her screen.
Suddenly, Lukas glances up for the first time in what feels like at least thirty minutes. It had been a comfortable silence, but it still catches Jesse off guard when he speaks.
“Y’know,” he says, resting his elbows on the papers in front of him. “I wanted to ask you something about earlier. If you don’t mind.”
Jesse looks up, her eyebrows raised. “Sure, what’s up?”
Lukas leans back in his chair, arms crossed. “You know Petra is acting totally weird with you, right?”
It was like he’d read her mind. Jesse blinks, her heart pounding. “What?”
“Petra. She’s different around you.”
Jesse shifts in her seat, feeling a prickle of warmth creep up her neck. Don’t be weird. “She’s…been nice, yeah.”
At that, Lukas lets out a short laugh, shaking his head. “No, Jesse. She’s not just being nice. She’s, like, acting totally out of character.” He makes a gesture with his hands, “Skipping with someone? That’s not something she just does. And that’s coming from me."
Now feeling warm all over, Jesse just stares, not because she disagrees, but because she doesn’t really know what to say to that. It definitely isn’t helping the inner turmoil she’s already facing.
“Just putting it out there,” Lukas eventually says, raising his hands in mock surrender, his smirk playful. “Wasn’t sure how you’d take it, but I had to say it.”
Watching him carefully, Jesse exhales through her nose, her brows furrowed. At least he’s letting it go. “I mean…yeah. I guess when you put it like that, it’s kind of weird.” She fidgets a bit, trying not to let Lukas see just how much his words are getting to her.
But she just can’t help herself.
“But…that doesn’t…mean anything, right?”
Lukas quirks an eyebrow. “Mean anything how?”
“I– I don’t know,” Jesse says, carefully choosing her words. “I mean, she knows we’re…kind of a thing…right?” She gestures vaguely with her hands, feeling so awkward at what she’s implying that she might throw herself through the floor. “So it can’t be…”
Lukas hums. “Are we?”
Jesse blinks, her stomach doing an uncomfortable flip. “Are we what?”
Lukas shrugs. “A thing.”
Jesse opens her mouth, then closes it.
That—
…Yeah. That’s a fair question.
They’d flirted. Hung out. But…that’s really it. Jesse had zero problems with Lukas, but her heart had never really been in it, not the way it should’ve been.
And with everything that she was feeling for about Petra…
Jesse sighs, rubbing the back of her neck. “Look, Lukas, I—”
The blonde waves a hand before she can finish. “Relax. It’s fine.”
Jesse holds her breath. “...It is?”
“Yeah,” Lukas chuckles, offering a shrug. “I mean, hey. It barely lasted two days. You don’t have to let me down easy or anything.”
It’s said so casually, but shame washes over Jesse like a wave of ice-cold saltwater. She rubs her face with both hands, wilting under Lukas’s calm gaze. “I still feel like I should apologize.” I at least owe him that much.
“For what? For not actually being into me? Trust me, I’ll live.”
“No,” Jesse insists, her expression firm as she looks up at him again. “For basically flirting with you for nothing.” She shrugs, “It was only once or twice, but I still knew I wasn’t really…y’know.”
Lukas doesn’t answer right away. And so, Jesse holds his gaze, her tone nothing short of sincere. “So for what it’s worth, I am sorry for that.”
Lukas watches her in silence for no longer than a few seconds. His smile never wavers, although his gaze does soften. “It’s all good, Jesse. For real.”
Feeling like a boulder was just lifted off of her chest, Jesse lets out a relieved sigh, leaning back in her chair. “Okay.”
Lukas nods. “Okay.”
A brief silence follows. Then, Jesse huffs a small laugh. “So you’re not, like…secretly heartbroken or anything?”
Lukas instantly laughs with her, and it actually sounds genuine. Jesse almost can’t believe it. “Nah,” he answers. “Sure, it sucked a bit when it clicked for me. But the whole time I was more confused than anything.”
Jesse hums apologetically, although the relief tingling in her bones balances out the guilt. However, curiosity also nags at her. “Can I…ask when you realized?”
Lukas closes his notebook, deciding that this conversation is more interesting than numbers. “Well…it wasn’t a specific moment, honestly,” he says. “I can just tell that you have a thing for her.”
Jesse’s heart drops. She doesn’t expect that at all.
“Huh?”
“Petra,” Lukas clarifies. His tone is oh-so smug—it makes Jesse feel like she was just caught stealing. “Seems like you kinda have a thing for her.”
…Oh no.
“Uh,” Jesse feigns amusement, immediately laughing in disbelief and trying to play off her nerves. “Not sure where that came from…but no.” She then waves her hand dismissively, “I meant when you knew that I wasn’t, like, into you. I guess.”
“Yeah,” Lukas affirms, clearly unfazed by Jesse’s denial. “That’s how.”
At this point, Jesse can only stare at him, heart hammering in her chest. “That’s—” She scoffs, shifting in her seat, crossing her arms like that’ll somehow ground her. “That’s funny.”
“Is it?”
“Yes,” Jesse blurts out too quickly, defensive. She forces a casual shrug, practically throwing herself back in her chair. “You clearly misread whatever you think you saw. Which—“ she scoffs again, “I don’t even wanna know.”
Lukas just grins, watching Jesse dig herself into an even deeper hole. “Jesse, c’mon. I see how you look at her. At each other.”
His words are laced with insistence, but void of any malice. He sounds so confident, so assured about this. It’s like he’s already picked Jesse’s brain, like he already knows that she’s absolutely been crushing on Petra since the day they’d met. Even if it was just a little.
Still, Jesse glares. “Lukas,” she isn’t laughing anymore. She can not admit this to him. “You’re being ridiculous.”
Lukas simply raises an eyebrow, watching her like he’s already won this conversation. “You’re telling me you don’t walk to class with her every morning? That you didn’t get her number before you even got mine? That you two didn’t skip class to have breakfast?”
“It’s not—“
“From what I know, you’re the last person I’d imagine ever skipping class. And Petra isn’t exactly a fan of making new friends,” Lukas continues, his voice a bit more pressing. “It usually takes her months to get to this point. With anyone.”
Jesse opens her mouth, but no words come out. The heat creeping up her neck betrays her, and Lukas doesn’t even bother hiding his amusement. “You like her. And I honestly think—”
“If you were… close,” Jesse cuts him off, voice tight as she refuses to meet his eyes. Her tone hardens. “What would it mean?”
Lukas raises an eyebrow, answering slowly. “…Close?” He tilts his head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jesse exhales sharply through her nose, shoulders tense. Again, she chooses her next words carefully. “I…might think she’s cool.”
Apparently, she wasn’t careful enough.
Lukas stares at her for half a second before letting out a bark of laughter. “Oh, wow,” he says, leaning back. “That’s what we’re going with?”
Jesse gives him a look. “I don’t know what you expected.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Lukas answers. “Maybe something a little more honest?”
Jesse continues to glare, but despite it all, she doesn’t deny it. She can’t. Because if she starts admitting things now, where would it end?
That she noticed parts of a tattoo on Petra’s collar the first time they met and immediately wanted to ask about it? That Petra always looks so good just doing things as simple as scrolling through her phone? That the way she could probably tower over Jesse without trying made Jesse feel things (that she did not want to think about too much)? That Jesse’s been finding excuses to spend time with her all week without even realizing it?
…He’s staring at me.
Lukas is waiting. Jesse sighs. This was starting to turn out very differently than she’d initially hoped.
“Okay. Even if I did—hypothetically—like her…”
Lukas’s eyes brighten.
“…why would it even matter?”
“It would if you wanted it to.”
“I barely even know her.”
“Okay, and?” Lukas raises an eyebrow. “I told you, Petra isn’t like this normally. She—“
“You’re talking like you know that she likes me back,” Jesse retorts quickly, which makes Lukas’s smile widen, much to her confusion.
“So you do like her.”
Something cold trickles down her spine. Jesse furrows her brows, averting her gaze and massaging the bridge of her nose. “I…look—“ She hesitates, her fingers tapping against the table.
“I just…don’t see how it would even work,” she mutters, more to herself than to Lukas. “We’re barely a week into the semester. I don’t even know if she—”
She stops short, shaking her head. Don’t even think about that.
“It’s…just a small…hallway crush,” Jesse finally insists, her expression firm. “One that I plan to get over.” Her tone leaves no room for discussion. She doesn’t think she could handle it.
Relenting, Lukas only hums, clearly unconvinced. “If you say so.”
“I do.”
———
Jesse fully believes that.
Then, Petra decides to wear something sleeveless the next morning. Like…a muscle tee. It’s not like it’s something for the gym or anything. It’s baggy, clearly worn, It’s got some kind of logo on the front. It’s casual. It’s normal. And it’s making Jesse feel anything but.
“You— you’re not cold?” Jesse asks, her voice a bit quiet as she tries (and fails) to mask whatever-the-hell is going on in her head.
Walking alongside the brunette in stride, Petra shrugs, scratching the back of her head. “Nah. Feels kinda nice, actually. And I’ve got a jacket if I need it.”
The two are, of course, headed to Jesse’s first class. It is pretty sunny today, and Jesse’s admittedly a bit warm in her sweater. Although it’s entirely possible that the sun isn’t the only reason why.
Processing Petra’s words, Jesse can only nod, her brain absolutely unable to focus on anything other than…ugh. She’s screwed. Totally screwed.
For one, Petra’s other tattoo isn’t just on her collar. It starts there, running along her left shoulder and spiraling down to her bicep. It’s some kind of scene—like a landscape or something, clearly very detailed, with variants of shading and all. But of course, Jesse doesn’t want to stare.
And then there’s the other tattoo, the one on Petra’s right forearm. Yeah, Jesse had seen it before, but the sight of both tattoos at once, intricately inked on Petra’s toned arms—
“You okay?”
This is not happening.
“Yep!” Jesse smiles up at Petra, keeping her tone as normal as she can manage. She fights to keep her eyes anywhere but Petra’s arms. “Just…still waking up, I guess.”
Unfortunately for her, Petra likes to call things out as she sees them. “You can ask about them if you want.”
Jesse barely registers. “Hm?”
Her thoughts are spiraling. It’s just a tattoo. But even as she thinks it, she knows it’s not true. Nothing feels ‘just’ with Petra.
“My tattoos,” Petra clarifies, her tone welcoming. “I’m used to it. You can ask whatever.”
Oh! Great. So she noticed. That isn’t embarrassing at all.
“Um— oh, yeah!” Jesse lets her eyes flicker down to Petra’s forearm. “I think they’re…cool.”
“Thanks,” Petra smiles warmly. Jesse’s heart races, heat rushing to her face. How can she be cute, too?
“Do they have any meaning?”
Expecting the question, Petra immediately nods, lifting her entire right arm so Jesse has a better view. “Yeah. This one more than the other.”
Jesse lets herself observe a little more closely. It looks like a bunch of ivy leaves and small branches, twisting and turning, weaving around and along Petra’s forearm. It barely goes past her wrist onto her hand.
“The idea with this one was that ivy adapts to whatever it’s growing in, y’know?” Petra goes on to explain, her eyes settled on the ink and her voice dropping into something gentler. “Well, that’s…kind of how I felt growing up. How I feel.”
Jesse listens.
“Adapting to whatever’s in my way, adjusting to change, growing past stuff…you get it. It’s nothing crazy.” Petra eventually lowers her arm, “I knew I wanted that feeling shown through something related to nature, and…this is what I came up with,” she finishes with a shrug, her eyes set ahead again. “So. Y’know.”
After taking a moment or two to process, Jesse smiles. She could be imagining things…but Petra almost looks bashful. Shy. Jesse feels something fuzzy in her chest at the thought.
“I like that,” she murmurs earnestly, her voice quieter than usual. “That’s really neat, Petra. Seriously.”
Looking back at her, Petra’s expression softens. For a brief moment, their gazes hold in a way that feels almost too intimate for the setting. Jesse very quickly looks away, setting her eyes on the building ahead. She clears her throat, trying to regain her composure. You’re almost to class, Jesse. Cool it.
Petra eventually responds, letting out a soft laugh. “Well, funnily enough…” She then holds up her nearly fully sleeved left arm, prompting Jesse to properly look at it. “This one was mostly for fun. Thought it would look cool.”
Despite herself, Jesse huffs a laugh in response, squinting her eyes. “Is it…a sky?”
“A storm,” Petra corrects, turning her arm as much as she can so Jesse can see most of it.
And she can. Alongside the many lightning strikes stretching along Petra’s shoulder, there are dark clouds, split and warped in an eerily gorgeous way. They’re hovering over a shadowy landscape of trees, which stand as silhouettes. The details are striking, and that only makes Jesse all the more…well. You know.
“I’ve always found storms calming, which is kinda ironic since I used to be terrified of them as a kid,” Petra says with a wistful smile, eventually dropping that arm too. “But…yeah. This was mostly for show. The artist had a blast with it.”
At this point, the two have begun their trek up the main staircase. Jesse takes a sharp breath, getting ready to say something else. Petra beats her to it.
”You’d look good in tattoos.”
Jesse nearly trips over a step. “What?” She looks at Petra so fast it’s a miracle she doesn’t fall backwards.
Petra’s own eyes widen, like she hadn’t meant to say that outloud. “I mean—” She rubs the back of her neck, looking off to the side for a second, her mouth opening and closing like she’s trying to figure out what to say. “Just. Y’know. I think tattoos would suit you.”
They climb the last few steps. Jesse blinks, her brain momentarily short-circuiting. “…Really?”
Petra nods. “Yeah! I mean—not that you don’t already look good.” A beat. Jesse swears she sees Petra physically wince. “I just meant that, like, if you ever wanted tattoos, I think they’d, uh…fit you. Well.”
Silence falls. Jesse swallows, something warm curling in her chest, making its way up to her face. For a few seconds, she just stares. Lukas’s words from yesterday slowly creep up on her.
She’s not sure what to do with this. What to do with the fact that Petra is suddenly struggling to meet her gaze, the fact that she’s clearly fumbling over giving a simple compliment.
The fact that Jesse kind of likes it.
At this point, the lecture hall building isn’t far—maybe another thirty feet or so. Deciding to play along, Jesse eventually exhales, tilting her head. “Well,” she muses, casting a sidelong glance at Petra. “Maybe I will get one, then.”
Looking relieved, Petra hums, shooting the brunette a grin. “Oh yeah?”
Jesse shrugs, arms crossing loosely as she slows her pace. Instinctively, Petra slows too. “Sure. Since you think they’d suit me and all.”
They both stop walking. Turning to face her properly, Jesse watches Petra’s eyes flicker to hers, then down to her mouth, then away entirely, her jaw shifting like she’s biting back something. Jesse’s stomach flutters.
“Well, yeah.” Petra huffs a laugh, hands dangling by the straps of her bag. “I mean it. They’d look good on you,” she rocks back on her heels. “Honest.”
Jesse hums in response, feeling a little too pleased with herself among a million other things she doesn’t want to label right now. Letting her eyes land on Petra’s half-sleeve again, she slightly bites her lip out of habit, her train of thought running rampant.
And yet, one thought sticks out. “Not as good as they do on you.”
Eyes widening, Petra immediately freezes. She blinks, seemingly confused, like she’s not sure she heard Jesse right. Jesse doesn’t backtrack. She doesn’t even try. Screw it.
She holds Petra’s gaze. Petra swallows, her jaw shifting, eyes flickering downward—again—before darting back up. Jesse doesn’t know what this is, but it’s making her burn.
“You…you think so?” Petra replies with that same bashful smile, her voice a little lower. Her eyes are squinting slightly, almost like she’s searching Jesse’s face for something.
Jesse shifts a half-step closer, tilting her chin up to accommodate. “Yeah.”
Petra says nothing, nor does she move away. She just looks at her. Just looks at her, in a way that’s tantalizing and nerve-wracking all at once.
For that moment, Jesse feels it again, that tension being stretched taut between them. Waiting to snap.
And then, Petra blinks. Once, twice. The sharpness in her gaze dulls as she seemingly forces herself to step back. Jesse watches closely as the redhead laughs a little, her expression settling into something neutral, hesitantly so, as she glances away.
“Well. Uh.” Petra clears her throat. “Credits to the artist, I guess.”
Jesse’s eyes narrow at the reaction, her heart pounding. Lukas might’ve been right.
A sliver of disappointment creeps in, but Jesse doesn’t let it show. Instead, she lets her smile linger, her gaze still trained on the taller girl’s reddening face. She exhales slowly, trying to settle the twisty-turny sensation of sheer thrill in her gut. “Definitely.”
Neither of them move right away.
Another few seconds sneak by and Petra shifts, clearing her throat again, snapping Jesse out of her strange daze. She nods toward the door, where other students are flowing in. “You should… probably get going.”
Jesse nods back, that buzz of excitement lingering. “Probably.” She half-turns, her smile softening as she gives Petra a once-over. “See you at lunch, Petra.”
She intentionally lets the name fall from her lips slowly, damn-near teasingly, and she swears that she sees Petra react. But of course, she doesn’t comment.
”Yeah,” Petra answers, her voice impossibly softer. “See you.”