Chapter Text
What. What. What.
Petra’s inner voice is in a panic. She is in a panic. And who can blame her?
As soon as Jesse disappears, Petra exhales sharply, running a hand through her hair. She waits for a second, feet planted like she’s stuck in place. Her mind is still catching up, still replaying what just happened.
What the hell was that?
Shaking her head, she forces herself to move, picking up her pace as she turns to head to class.
“Not as good as they do on you.”
It was just Jesse messing around. That’s what she does. She teases, she flirts. It happened at breakfast, too. It doesn’t mean anything. Petra knows this.
But the way she said it. It was like Jesse knew exactly what she was doing. Like she was testing something. If she was, it worked.
Petra presses her lips together and focuses on walking, counting each step, trying to think about literally anything else. But her brain is relentless, dragging her right back. When did this start? When did Jesse start affecting her like this? It’s not like Petra hasn’t been flirted with before. Jesse’s—
Petra swallows.
Jesse’s …bold. She’s smart, and stubborn, and sweet and witty and funny and cute and endearing in a way that makes Petra feel so comfortable .
And lately, Petra has been noticing things.
Like how Jesse tucks strands of hair behind her ear sometimes. The way she smirks whenever they banter. Her laugh. That little red hair clip she always has on, her smile, everything down to her outfits. Ugh, her outfits. She dresses with so much color, it matches her personality so well. Not to mention, whatever perfume she always wears? It smells so sweet, nostalgic almost. Like something flowery and—
…
Petra blinks herself back to focus.
Okay. So Jesse’s cute. Really cute. As if that wasn’t obvious the moment Lukas had introduced them to one another.
Speaking of that.
Pulling out her phone, Petra nearly misses a turn. Thankfully, she’s at the right building before she knows it, her mind still running a mile a minute.
She takes a sharp breath and rolls her shoulders, trying to shake off whatever the hell this is as she opens her messaging app. She just needs to focus. By the time lunch rolls around, she’ll be fine. She has to be.
Because if Jesse looks at her like that again, Petra isn’t sure she’ll be able to keep pretending that this isn’t something she wants to act on.
hey
Lukas responds within the minute.
Hey
You good?
yeah, just wondering what u and jesse r planning today
While they usually walk to their dorms together, Petra had been at the shop last night. So, she had no idea how things had gone on Lukas and Jesse’s second ‘ date-slash-study’ session.
Regardless, Petra’s “curiosity” is mostly feigned, but she can play it off. Again, she has to. If this crush is going to blow over like it’s supposed to, then Petra needs to give it a boost by encouraging Lukas.
Funny story, actually.
That’s…ominous.
?
Yk what, I think it’s a talk for tonight.
Even more ominous.
dude
???
Petra steps into the lecture hall, taking the first open seat she sees. She sets her bag down in the chair beside her, eyes still glued to her phone.
It’ll be worth it. I think.
u think?
It isn’t anything bad. Dw
just bc you said that now im worried
A minute or two goes by. Petra watches the bubbles on Lukas’s end disappear and reappear.
That’s when somebody suddenly speaks to her from behind. “Something crazy in the news or something?”
Petra looks up and her gaze instantly softens, her eyes falling onto a familiar face.
“Hey, Axel. And nah,” Petra then drags her bag from the seat, prompting Axel to take it, a routine they’d been following since the first day. “Lukas is just being all ambiguous about stuff instead of just telling me.”
“ ‘Stuff’ huh? What stuff? Maybe I know something.”
“I’d be shocked if you didn’t,” Petra huffs a laugh, glancing back at her phone as Lukas finally responds.
You’re not going to the shop today right?
didnt plan on it
Then just wait a bit. Promise it’ll be worth it.
Out of pettiness, Petra leaves Lukas on ‘seen’ and sets her phone face-down with a sigh. Now she has two things to be worrying about today. Lovely.
“Well?” Axel prods, folding his arms over the table. “C’mon, you’re making me curious.”
Petra scoffs, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “It’s just about this girl he likes.”
“Oh yeah. Jesse, right?”
“Yeah,” Petra does her best to ignore the way her heart skips a few beats at the mere sound of her name. “I was asking about how his study-session with her went yesterday. And all he said was ‘funny story.’”
Axel smirks, leaning back in his chair as he takes a second to ponder. “Well…he told me that they’re planning on studying again tonight,” he offers. “So I’m sure it went fine. Not sure what else he could mean by that.”
Petra curls an eyebrow at that. How is he planning on telling me anything then?
She offers a half-hearted shrug as she reaches down for her bag. “Whatever. I’m sure he’s just being dramatic.” She then retrieves her notebook, eyes settling on their professor as he walks up to the lectern at the front of the room. “She probably just called him cute or something.”
Axel laughs at that, getting out his own supplies for class as well. “Sounds like something Lukas would freak out about.”
Petra smirks, but there’s not much amusement actually fueling it. Instead, the idea of Jesse calling Lukas anything, of Jesse flirting with him at all…
…with anyone…
It kind of makes her feel nauseous. Like, a twisty, fuzzy feeling in her chest, dripping into her stomach. She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes for a second or two and doing her best to ground herself.
She hasn’t felt like this for anyone in a long time.
Why, oh why, does it have to be the wrong girl?
———
Whereas Petra is terrified of her best friend finding out about this whole “hallway crush” thing happening, Jesse immediately texts Olivia the moment she even considers it.
Jesse can’t believe she hasn’t talked to Olivia about this at all, but the idea immediately eases the myriad of emotions she’s feeling. Talking about this with someone, with anyone else, would totally help her out. Help rationalize whatever the hell she’s doing. Maybe Olivia could even snap her back into reality; make her realize that no, Petra doesn’t have any interest in her and she’s just naturally a good friend.
Sitting down with a purpose, Jesse pulls out her phone. Lukas isn’t here yet, so if Olivia replies quickly enough, she can get this off her chest before he shows up. And gods know she needs to.
liv
i might have a crush
Only a minute passes before Olivia responds.
lukas made a move lol?
Jesse’s face heats up at that. She really hadn’t told Olivia anything. Here we go.
no
actually
his best friend…
She’s left on read for a painfully long thirty seconds before Olivia types back.
? WHAT
it isn’t what it sounds like
that is so messy jesse omgg
STOP let me explain
Jesse leans over the desk, typing like her life depends on it. Her brain runs a mile a minute.
okay so we’ve been walking to class together and stuff and she basically told me id look good in tattoos
and also she has tattoos and ughfhfhfb it was so weird
but like we also had breakfast yesterday and we’ve just been friendly
and im starting to realize i reallyyyy dont want it to just be friendly
the tattoo thing literally JUST happened like im still blushing it was a lot
She hits send.
She locks her phone. Unlocks it again. Locks it again.
Ugh.
This is supposed to be good for her but damn , it’s nerve wracking. Jesse swallows, feeling nothing but this jittery buzz in her chest. She leans forward and hunches over her desk like she’s trying to disappear into it. Her phone is tucked low between the edge of her lap and the underside of the desk.
She stares at the screen, waiting. One minute passes. No reply. Her heart won’t slow down.
Then—finally—
she?
okayyyy jesse
With a slight smile tugging at her lips, Jesse scoffs, rolling her eyes.
yeahhh
waitt is this petra?
It wasn’t rocket science.
yeah
omfg
that is so funny omg you BOTH are messy
sounds like she’s totally into you tho
Jesse’s hands twitch over her phone. She exhales. In theory, that should make her feel better. But her nerves keep twisting, writhing somewhere under her ribs. She re-reads Olivia’s message again like maybe this time it’ll rearrange itself into something less intimidating.
okay but what if she’s just being nice
and im just reading into it bc i want her to be into me
shes been walking you to class
okay fine
but what do i do
There’s a pause. A longer one this time. Jesse watches the little typing bubble blink in and out like Olivia’s crafting some sacred advice from the gods. Honestly, Jesse needs it.
Her fingers feel tingly. She presses the edge of her phone to her lips, glancing up just in case Lukas suddenly shows up and catches her mid spiral. Then Olivia replies.
what do you want to do?
That freezes her. Not because she doesn’t know the answer, but because she immediately does.
She wants to touch Petra’s hand and not pretend it’s accidental. She wants to see Petra’s reaction when she calls her cute on purpose. See her get all blushy and lose that tough front she has. Jesse’s already seen it crack.
i want to kiss her rly bad
Another pause. A very short one.
putting it bluntly i see
did you want me to lie
well youll have to make a move before lukas gets his heart broken
I mean assuming petra hasnt told him
Jesse bites her lip.
about that
we’re not rly a thing anymore
I kinda told him i wasnt into it
Olivia starts typing. Stops.
???
when were you gonna tell me that part
Jesse can practically hear Olivia’s voice through the screen. She doesn’t even have time to respond before another message comes in.
since when???
Jesse’s thumbs hover.
last night
during our study date
we talked. we’re still cool, and he apparently knew anyway lol
wowwww
Olivia doesn’t say anything else right away, but Jesse’s not worried this time. Her heart’s still doing that thing, fluttery, weightless. But she’s calmer now. She said it. She told someone. And nothing blew up in her face.
Her screen lights up again.
okay
i’m a little mad you didn’t tell me
but i forgive you bc this is cute
Even more relieved, Jesse huffs a laugh and glances toward the entryway doors again. No sign of Lukas yet.
She wonders where Petra is. Wonders how she’s feeling. Wonders if she’s spiraling like this too.
you’re down bad huh
Olivia knew her too well. Jesse’s cheeks heat up as she responds.
it’s SO bad
i think about her a lot more than i should be
Jesse contemplates sending this next one. But she just can’t help it.
and her tattoos..
omg
dtop
STOP
Jesse bites back a giggle.
sorry
i’m supportive but do NOTTT start with that
Jesse laughs quietly to avoid unwanted attention, her face heating up even more. It’s ridiculous how much lighter she feels. Like something inside her unclenched just from saying the words out loud. Well, texting them.
Suddenly, the projector at the head of the hall clicks on and the professor calls for everyone to “settle down.” Jesse, feeling much calmer than she had when walking in, sets her phone down and diverts her attention.
She doesn’t know what she’s going to do yet. But she does know that she’s not going to lie to herself about this anymore. And that’s a start.
———
The dining hall is loud, and the group’s usual table is already half full by the time Jesse arrives. Lukas has taken the outside seat, Petra’s beside him by the window, lazily stirring her coffee. Olivia sits directly across from Petra, earbuds in but only one in her ear, thumb tapping absently on her phone.
Jesse slides into the last spot, across from Lukas, next to Olivia. She sets down her food with a sigh, and all eyes land on her in warm greeting. “Calc ran twenty minutes over,” she sighs.
“Damn,” Olivia says without looking up. “Want us to light a candle?”
“Get me a whole memorial, actually.”
Petra huffs a laugh at that, and Jesse feels the sound travel all the way through her.
Lukas laughs too. “Sounds like I made the right choice skipping,” he catches Jesse’s curious gaze with his own as he crosses his arms. “I ended up going to that media club thing.”
“Oh, really?” Jesse perks up, genuinely surprised. “I thought you said you weren’t into it. Like, at all.”
“I wasn’t,” Lukas shrugs. “Still kinda not. But Axel’s whole pitch was, and I quote, ‘you literally just have to write the words, dude.’”
“That does sound like him,” Petra mutters.
“Is that the club that does all the student news stuff?” Olivia asks.
“Yeah,” Lukas answers. “Campus updates, some creative stuff if it fits. It’s not too bad.”
“You’re saying the school media isn’t just unpaid labor for admin?” Olivia jokes. Jesse smirks, she’s not technically wrong.
“Okay, yeah, it is a little restrictive,” Lukas admits, his expression thoughtful. “But they let you do scriptwriting for some of the produced content. And Axel was…weirdly convincing for once.”
“I think you’re just easy, dude,” Petra snickers into her cup, taking a long sip.
Jesse laughs into her tea, feeling some of the nerves she brought in with her start to dissolve. This easy rhythm between them all feels good. Comfortable. It’s the kind of group that feels like it’s becoming something, and honestly, Jesse has no clue how she’s gotten this lucky so soon into the semester.
However, she’s caught a little off guard when Lukas glances over and says, “Hey, by the way, do you two wanna come study with us later? Jesse and I were gonna hit the library again after dinner. Thought maybe we could make it a group thing this time.”
Jesse blinks, fork paused halfway to her mouth. Not that she minded, they just… hadn’t really talked about that.
Olivia doesn’t look surprised. She just raises an eyebrow and shrugs after a beat of silence. “Sure. I was planning on procrastinating in my dorm anyway.”
Petra, however, stills. Just slightly. Her hand tightens around her bottle. She looks at Lukas first, then at Jesse, then back again. “…Tonight?”
Lukas nods, all casual. “Yeah. We were gonna meet in that study corner on the second floor again. Figured we’d actually get stuff done this time if there were more of us.”
Petra hums. It’s light, but her thoughts are racing. He was supposed to talk to her tonight about Jesse. About whatever cryptic, loaded thing he didn’t want to explain over text. And now he’s turning it into a group hang?
It makes zero sense…unless something changed. Which clearly, something did. “I mean… yeah,” Petra says finally, forcing a shrug. “Sure.”
“Cool,” Lukas says. “I’ll grab a table after class.”
“Are we gonna need snacks for this?” Olivia asks.
“You think I’d ask you to study without snacks?” Jesse says, mock offended. “What do you take me for?”
Petra smirks faintly, watching the exchange. Her heart is still a little tight. Still confused. But she keeps her expression easy. Across from her, Jesse looks up and meets her eyes. Just for a second. And Petra finds herself wondering, not for the first time, what the hell is going on between them.
———
When Olivia and Jesse eventually say their goodbyes and walk together to Olivia’s next class, Petra and Lukas are left by themselves. For a few seconds, they just sit there.
Eventually, Petra finally turns toward him.
“You said you wanted to talk tonight.”
Lukas looks at her, confused. “Yeah?”
Petra’s expression is unreadable. “And now you’re turning it into a group thing?”
The confusion clears almost immediately. “Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh.” Her tone is sharp, but not cruel. More curious. Tired. “What’s going on?”
“I wasn’t trying to leave you hanging or anything,” Lukas says quickly. “I just figured it might be obvious after that.”
Petra crosses her arms. “It’s not.”
Lukas hesitates, then leans back with a somewhat awkward sigh. “Jesse and I talked last night. And…we’re not a thing.” He nods to himself. “Not uh, not gonna be a thing. Pretty sure she likes someone else anyway.”
Petra stills.
“I wanted to tell you before I said anything to anyone else. But it’s kinda awkward to talk about,” Lukas laughs a bit, his tone bashful. “Sorry.”
…Damn. Petra is still quiet. Lukas watches her closely. She doesn’t answer for a good moment or two.
Then: “So that’s it? You’re over her?”
“I don’t know if I’d say ‘over,’” Lukas admits. “But I’m not hoping for anything anymore. And I’m okay with that.”
Petra looks up at the ceiling with a deep intake of air, her eyes closed, her mind racing. This was the last thing she expected, and now she feels totally embarrassed for acting even a little angry. “…So inviting me tonight wasn’t just to have us stand by while you flirted with her?”
“What? No. Geez, Petra, what—“ Lukas shakes his head in utter disbelief, “ why would I do that?”
You wouldn’t. I’m being ridiculous.
“I don’t know!” Petra answers, more heated than she means to. “Because you like her. And you’ve liked her. And it seems like…I don’t know.” Petra shakes her head with a groan. “This is messing with my head.”
And it really is. Petra has been acting a certain way with Jesse out of respect for Lukas’s interest in her. She’d kept herself from being too open, too friendly, but still wants to be a nice person to be around.
And that ended up backfiring terribly, because simply being around Jesse has made Petra find new things to like about her each time.
Suddenly, Lukas lowers his voice. “What’s going on with you?” Petra blinks. Lukas tilts his head. “What do you mean mess with your head?”
“Nothing,” she says quickly.
“Petra.”
She exhales hard through her nose and runs a hand through her hair. “I just thought it was weird. That’s all. I’m good now.”
Lukas doesn’t press, not yet. He just says, gently, “I wasn’t trying to make it weird. I thought maybe we could all just hang out. Aside from lunch, y’know?”
Petra looks at him, finally. There’s a long pause. The idea of being near Jesse, with the knowledge that she’s no longer talking to anyone, changes things. It’s terrifying, but almost in an exciting way. Especially after what had happened this morning.
Something is there. And now Petra can do something about it if she has the guts to.
(Which she doesn’t!)
“Petra?”
“Sorry,” Petra blinks herself back into focus. “You’re right. It’ll be fun.”
For a few moments, they both sit in silence again, the kind only years of friendship can settle into. Then:
“…So you think she’s into someone else?” Petra asks, almost too casually.
Lukas gives her a long look. “I could be wrong, but…I’ve got a pretty good idea.”
Petra swallows, but Lukas doesn’t say anything else. He just bumps her shoulder lightly before checking his watch and getting to his feet. “See you in the library later?”
The redhead nods. “Yeah. I’ll see you.”
———
Jesse takes the stairs two at a time.
She’s not late, but for some reason she still feels rushed. Probably because of the thousands of thoughts rattling around in her head like change in a dryer. She tugs her hoodie down over her hips, clutching the straps of her bag to her chest as she turns the corner and steps into the quiet of the library.
When her eyes land on the table she and Lukas usually sit at, she immediately stops.
Petra’s already there.
She’s sitting at the far end of the table, by the window. The sky behind her is a swirl of violet and amber as the sun begins to set, and the soft light of the lamp at the center of the tabletop makes her red hair look nearly golden. She’s hunched slightly over a notebook, a mechanical pencil tapping rhythmically between her fingers. Earbuds in. Sleeves rolled up.
Jesse isn’t sure how long she’s staring before Petra eventually glances up at her, probably sensing that somebody else was in the room. She smiles . Jesse’s heart skips.
Pulling an earbud out, Petra greets her warmly. “Hey,” she sits up a bit. “Sorry, didn’t see you.”
“No, no, you’re fine,” Jesse assures with a smile of her own, forcing herself to refocus as she makes her way over. “You’re here earlier than I expected.”
Petra lifts a shoulder. “Didn’t have anything better to do.” She then nods at the empty seat across from her. “Didn’t think anyone else would be here yet, either.”
Jesse slides into the seat, trying not to stare at how good Petra looks right now. What’s new? “I like to be early, I guess.” She lets her gaze fall onto Petra’s open notebook. “What’re you working on?”
“Trying to remember what the hell opportunity cost actually means.” Petra flips a page with exaggerated frustration, revealing notes upon notes that gradually become harder and harder to read. As if Petra had given up trying. “It’s like every time I think I’ve got it, the definition changes.”
Jesse huffs a laugh. “That’s econ in a nutshell. You have Professor Lapista, right? I swear, he talks in riddles.”
Petra smiles at that, huffing a laugh of her own. “Glad it’s not just me.”
Jesse sets down her things, suddenly very aware of how small this corner table actually is. There are four seats, but right now it’s just the two of them; with the sun dipping lower behind Petra’s shoulder and a quiet that feels less like silence and more like a held breath, Jesse can’t help but feel a little tense. She wishes Olivia was here.
She fiddles with her pen cap, watching as Petra does the exact same thing. At one point, their knees bump for a second, but Jesse’s fidgeting keeps that contact from lasting. “You beat Lukas here. That’s…new, moreso for him.”
Petra hums at that. “Yeah…he said he had to stop by the dining hall first,” she quickly checks her phone. “Probably getting a snack before it closes.”
Jesse doesn’t have a response in mind, and as a result, silence settles. Although…it feels kind of intentional. As Petra gets back to marking off her notes, there’s something lingering between them, an awareness, both abundant yet subtle at once. It’s weird. And amidst this silence, Jesse’s mind can’t stop racing. She doesn’t know if it’s the way Petra’s hair looks right now, or the way her voice is dropped just a little softer given their environment, but her thoughts are sliding toward places they definitely shouldn’t. Not when the culprit is sitting right there.
Jesse’s hyper-aware of every small sound: the scratch of Petra’s pencil as she circles something in her notes, the muffled squeak of someone’s shoes passing down a nearby aisle, the soft sound of her own breath when it stutters in her chest.
Petra glances up at her. It’s brief. A flick of the eyes. But it’s not unintentional.
Jesse’s heart taps against her ribs like it’s trying to escape. Of course, she meets Petra’s gaze, tries to hold it, but there’s something sharp and steady in the way Petra looks at her that makes her falter. She doesn’t even know what to name it. Curiosity? Suspicion?
“You good?” Petra asks after a second.
“Huh?”
Petra raises an eyebrow. “You were just…staring.”
Jesse laughs too quickly. “Oh, yeah. I just…was trying to remember if I actually did the reading or if I dreamed that I did.”
It’s an awful lie. Thankfully, Petra rolls with it. “You probably dreamed it. That’s what I do.” She’s smirking now, and Jesse has to avert her gaze to keep that stupid little twisty-thing from happening in her chest. She ducks her head, grinning into her lap. Her fingers are still tangled around her pen cap, twisting it so tightly it squeaks.
She chances another glance up and catches Petra watching her again. Not staring. Not obvious. Just watching.
It knocks something loose in her chest. Say something!
“You, uh…” Jesse starts, only half thinking, “You look nice, by the way.”
Petra blinks, her eyebrows raised.
“Just—your hair, I mean. It looks good.” Jesse gestures vaguely, immediately regretting this bold leap into compliment territory. “The way you have it pulled back a little. It suits you.”
It’s true. Jesse hasn’t seen it like this yet, and it looks good. More than good. Jesse hates the delivery of her stupid, corny, totally random compliment, but that doesn’t make it any less honest.
Petra doesn’t answer right away. After watching Jesse for a moment or two longer, she reaches up, fingers brushing the strands Jesse’s referring to, like she hadn’t even realized she’d styled it differently. Her eyes lower for a second, and when she looks back up, there’s color in her cheeks.
“Thanks,” she says quietly.
That smile. So cute.
Jesse presses her lips together, letting that moment hang. Petra’s blushing. She’s blushing. Which is insane, because she’s usually so unreadable. And now she’s blushing and ducking her head slightly and Jesse wants to throw herself out the window a little bit.
Before she can say anything else, if anything, Jesse leans back in her chair just as she hears approaching footsteps echo softly down the hall. Petra turns toward the sound too, the moment between them fading as two familiar voices make it into earshot.
“God, why is this library so big,” Olivia mutters. “Who needs this many floors of books?”
“Me,” Lukas answers proudly. Olivia makes a sound bordering disgust.
“Of course.”
The two of them eventually appear at the end of the aisle. Olivia has a bag of trail mix in one hand and a jug of iced tea in the other. She locks eyes with Jesse as soon as she turns the corner. “Hey Jess!”
She then eyeballs Petra, and after a second of processing, she smirks. “Did we interrupt something?”
The comment brings heat rushing straight to Jesse’s face.
“Not at all,” Petra answers first, thankfully. She does seem a bit red still, but Jesse can’t really tell in this lighting. “We were just wondering where you guys were.”
Olivia raises an eyebrow, but drops into the seat beside Jesse like nothing’s out of the ordinary. Lukas settles into the chair next to Petra, his bag thudding to the ground beside him.
“You guys get started on anything yet?” he asks, already pulling out his econ textbook.
Jesse clears her throat and gestures vaguely at Petra’s notebook, trying to keep her cool. It’s at this moment that she realizes she hasn’t even gotten her notes out yet. “She has. Surprise surprise.”
Petra gives a soft chuckle at that. Her pencil rolls a little beneath her fingers, fidgety in a way that tells Jesse she’s not alone in her nervous energy. She’s not sure she’s ever seen Petra look so… flustered. And I did that.
Lukas groans as he flips to a dog-eared page. “I feel like every sentence in this textbook is designed to make me feel like I’ve never used my brain before. It’s so non-human. So boring. ”
“You pride yourself on being a reader,” Olivia says, ripping open the trail mix with her teeth. “Get to it.”
Jesse snorts. Lukas rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”
Petra glances up again, locking eyes with Jesse just briefly. It’s enough to pull Jesse’s stomach into a twist again. There’s a softness there. Not in a huge, obvious way. Just enough to let Jesse know that what she said earlier wasn’t brushed off.
“We’re reviewing the section about marginal cost and benefit, right?” Olivia asks. “For that knowledge check, quiz, whatever it is tomorrow?”
“That and this,” Lukas replies, pointing to a diagram. “Pretty sure he’s gonna make us draw this from memory. He said it like a joke, but...”
Petra sighs, leaning her elbows on the table. “I hate everything you just said.”
Lukas ignores her and flips to a page with an obnoxiously large graph in the center. He then pushes the book toward the center of the table. “Here. Let's just run through this page’s questions. At the bottom.”
Jesse nods and reaches down to get what she actually needs. As they all bend in closer, their chairs scooting forward with a chorus of soft scuffs, Jesse feels Petra’s knee bump hers under the table. Again.
Neither of them moves this time.
Jesse forces herself to read the questions, even though her focus is shot to hell. Petra’s proximity is its own gravitational field, and Jesse can’t stop noticing things, like Petra’s tattoos, or how her knuckles are scuffed, or how their knees are just casually not-so-casually resting against the other and it’s definitely not an accident.
At one point, Petra shifts slightly, like she’s adjusting how she’s sitting, but she still doesn’t pull away. If anything, the pressure between them increases by a hair. Barely perceptible, but Jesse notices.
“What’d you guys get for the first one?” Lukas eventually asks after about two minutes or so.
And so the studying begins.
They go on a stream of asking each other why they chose certain answers, joking about possible ways to cheat, complaining, and asking Olivia to pass whatever snacks she brought. It’s mostly trail mix, much to Jesse’s annoyance, but when Olivia finds a long-forgotten bag of Goldfish in her tote, she’s happy to take it.
Eventually, Petra suddenly leans way back in her chair to stretch her arms high above her head. Putting conscious effort into not watching her shirt ride up, Jesse huffs a laugh when Petra lets out the world’s most dramatic sigh.
Lukas turns to her with a curled eyebrow. “Is there something we can do for you, your highness?” He teases with a grin.
Petra smiles back, lowering her arms and scooting her chair back to stand. “Yeah. Tell me where the restroom is.”
Jesse has no idea why she rushes to answer before Olivia does. “It’s not too far. I can show you.”
Petra lifts an eyebrow at Jesse’s offer, just slightly surprised, but not in a bad way. “…Sure,” she says after a second, standing up the rest of the way. “Thanks.”
Jesse nods a little too quickly and pushes her chair back, grabbing her phone from the table. “We’ll be right back.”
“Take your time,” Olivia says sweetly, far too sweetly. Lukas just hums, laser-focused on whatever he’s writing down. Jesse shoots her best friend a weak little glare before joining Petra on her way down the aisle.
———
The hallway outside the study nook is quiet and dim. The overhead lights are few and far between, just enough to cast long shadows across the floor. Jesse walks a step ahead at first, letting the cool air hit her face. It helps. A little.
Petra falls into step beside her, hands in her jacket pockets, the silence between them more comfortable than it probably should be.
After a moment, Petra says, “You didn’t actually have to walk me, you know.”
Jesse glances at her, already smiling. “I know. Just thought I’d make sure you didn’t get lost on the way.”
Petra scoffs, but it’s good-natured. “Right. Because I’d totally die in this ‘jungle’ of a college library.”
Jesse smirks a little. “I…wouldn’t put it past you.”
Petra shoots Jesse a look, and the shorter girl laughs wholeheartedly. “ Woww, I see how it is.”
“Kidding, kidding.”
They round a corner and approach the restrooms, clearly labeled with signs on each door. Jesse slows, gesturing to the womens’ door with a little half-shrug. “Here you go. Told you it wasn’t far.”
Petra stops in front of it but doesn’t go in immediately. She leans one shoulder against the wall instead, turning to look at Jesse. Not intensely, just the way she always does. Curious. Calm. Like Jesse’s said something interesting, even when she hasn’t.
“Appreciate it,” she murmurs.
“Anytime,” Jesse replies, trying to play it cool. Her heart, of course, has other plans.
Petra tips her head slightly, like she’s thinking about something. “You know, you always seem to just know things.”
Jesse blinks. “I—what?”
Petra’s smile grows, barely there but undeniably something. “You have an answer for everything. Always rushing to problem solve, always eager to learn.”
Jesse isn’t sure what to say, but she knows it can’t be nothing. “That’s… yeah. That’s kinda true,” she answers, even though it’s very true.
“I mean it in a nice way, by the way,” Petra adds, offering a half-shrug. “It’s cute.”
That stops Jesse in her tracks. Oh. Ohhh. Okay.
This is textbook flirting. Jesse has no idea how to handle it. She tries to speak, fails, laughs all breathless, and then eventually gets out, “You can’t just…say things like that.”
Petra merely hums, something coy lacing her words as she laughs too. “Guess I just did.” Her face is undeniably redder.
Jesse almost can’t believe how warm she feels. She averts her gaze, a shy smile tugging at her lips. “You’re the worst,” is all she can manage, said with no real bite at all. All she feels fluttering around in her chest is sheer giddiness.
Petra grins, theb pushes off the wall and nudges the bathroom door open with her elbow. “Be out in a sec,” she says, and then she’s gone, the door shutting softly behind her.
Jesse stares at the closed door for a second, then exhales and presses her phone against her face.
What the hell was that?
Petra had flirted with her. That wasn’t Jesse being delusional or hopeful or spiraling . Jesse’s pretty sure she’s going to die right here in the hallway. It seems preferable to somehow getting through the rest of this group study.
Jesse stays rooted in place long after the bathroom door clicks shut, like her body hasn’t gotten the signal to move yet. She doesn’t lean back against the wall. She doesn’t pace. She just stands there, perfectly still, phone clutched in both hands.
Then her phone buzzes. She winces like she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t. It’s a message from Olivia.
kiss her yet?
Jesse lets out a helpless sound, half-sputter, half-laugh, and turns her back to the bathroom door like Petra might somehow hear the blush crawling up her neck. She types nothing in return. There’s no point.
Before Jesse can try to collect herself, the door suddenly creaks open. She whips around just in time to see Petra step out, drying her hands on the hem of her jacket.
She glances up at her. “You okay?”
Jesse swallows. “Yeah. I’m good.”
Petra watches her for a second longer, something curious in her eyes, but she doesn’t push. She just starts walking, and Jesse falls into step beside her.
The quiet stretches again, but this time it hums. Everything feels sharper now. Every brush of their jackets, every footfall echoing through the hallway. Jesse’s not sure what to do with her hands, so she slips them into her hoodie pocket and focuses on keeping her breathing even.
She keeps thinking about Petra leaning against that wall. About the way her voice dipped right at the end. It’s cute. Like she knew what she was doing. Like she’d decided something.
Petra doesn’t look flustered anymore, but Jesse wonders if that’s just because she’s better at hiding it. There’s a stillness to her now—composed, like she’s in control again. And maybe that’s what gets Jesse the most.
That Petra chose to be a little bold. On purpose. Just for her.
They round the final corner, and the study nook comes back into view. Olivia lounging with her legs crossed, Lukas hunched over his work. When they’re spotted, Lukas greets them with a simple head nod. Olivia smiles.
“We were starting to wonder if you’d gotten lost,” she jokes.
In that second, reality reasserts itself over Jesse like a splash of cold water. Her earlier intimacy, that closeness, it all gets pushed to the background Like it never happened. Like she and Petra are just friends again.
“You wish,” Petra grins playfully, pulling her chair back to get settled. Jesse follows a beat behind, her smile automatic. She slides back into her chair, keeping her eyes on her notebook instead of the girl sitting directly across from her, who’s already thumbing through her notes like she didn’t call Jesse cute.
She doesn’t think she’ll ever get over that.
As the evening stretches on, Jesse’s knee somehow finds itself leaning up against Petra’s once again. And once again, neither of them decide to move. This lasts for another hour or so before the collective burnout hits. Lukas is the first to call it; he glances at the time, sighs, and mutters something about sleep. Petra and Olivia waste no time packing their things. Jesse takes a few moments regaining enough energy to do so.
They move together down the second-floor hallway, shoes soft on carpet, the overhead lights buzzing faintly above them. The whole floor feels muted now, like the air has settled. Downstairs, the group slows as they reach the front entrance.
Lukas is already pulling out his lanyard, attached to which is the keycard to his dorm. “I’m peeling off here. Get some sleep guys.”
“See you.”
“You too Lukas.”
“Bye Lukas!”
The others bid the blonde farewell. As he makes it out the front doors, a wave of brisk air from the outside rushes in, hitting Jesse square in the face. She makes a noise of surprise, bringing her arms up to hug herself.
Standing beside her, Petra shifts the strap of her bag on her shoulder and looks down at Jesse– not overly long, but long enough. “Cold?”
Jesse nods, shaking herself off. “Just a bit. We’re gonna have to hurry back, Liv,” she looks at her best friend over her shoulder, who’s already nodding in agreement.
“I’m beating you there.”
Jesse scoffs a little laugh, shaking her head before looking back at Petra. There’s a glint of something behind her eyes. Unreadable as usual. But not necessarily in a bad way.
Eventually, the taller girl clears her throat, stuffing her hands in her pockets. “So… see you next week?”
Her heart stuttering, Jesse takes a quick yet deep breath. “Yeah, of course,” she answers with a smile. Her tone is gentle, impressive considering her state.
Petra meets her eyes for just a second longer, her own soft smile lingering before finally turning away, muttering a low “night” to the both of them as she steps out into the path leading across campus. And then she’s gone.
The wind picks up again. Some of Jesse’s hair flies back. Then the door shuts, and it’s just Jesse and Olivia.
Jesse finally turns around to find Olivia fully facing her, arms crossed, face unreadable. She looks her up and down like she’s examining something. Like she’s seeing Jesse through a whole new lens.
Then, flatly.
“She’s into you, Jess.”
Jesse exhales with a subtle roll of her eyes, although, her smile curls helplessly wider as she tugs her hood up over her ears, readying herself for the cold walk back. “Whatever,” she mutters, even though she kind of believes her. Olivia simply laughs.
They fall into step together, starting the walk to their dorm in the cold.
When they finally make it, Jesse’s cheeks are still warm.