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Sonic is pretty sure that he’s going to die. He’s fine with that. He has to be.
As Nine’s machine extracts his Prism energy, he’s uncomfortably aware of Shadow watching him. Guilt squeezes the air from his lungs. This is all Sonic’s fault, and both of them know it.
Although… he’s grateful that it’s Shadow who’s here with him now. Shadow sees him as somewhat of an equal, and he understands the necessity of Sonic’s sacrifice.
If it were any of Sonic’s other friends, they’d be begging him to find another solution, to wait a little longer, to not risk his life. He and Shadow know there isn’t one.
It’s either Shadow gets to go home, alone, or neither of them do. The choice seems pretty obvious. Shadow certainly doesn’t deserve to live out the rest of his days trapped in this hell.
Things get a little bit fuzzy after that. Slowly, his limbs start going numb, and he can’t breathe, like the air in his lungs won’t stay down.
The sensation of Shadow carrying him slowly disappears. Shadow’s panicked voice fades to static in his ears, and then there’s nothing.
All things considered, it’s not the worst way to die.
-
Sonic wakes up, which is the first surprise.
The second surprise: Shadow’s not here. The Paradox Prism is, and so are Sonic’s friends.
Sonic’s sore muscles protest as he hauls himself to his feet, and jumps back into the fight.
Shadow appears, and uses Chaos control to take the prism away to somewhere Eggman won’t be able to get it. Sonic feels faint relief that he’ll never have to see it again.
Shadow doesn’t even spare Sonic a glance before he vanishes, but he’s alive , so that’s nice, at least. Even if Sonic can see his rumpled quills and the dark circles under his eyes from thirty feet away.
His friends discuss… something, after the battle. Their voices barely register in Sonic’s head, but he still flinches when Tails speaks.
Not Nine. Tails. Not Nine.
Sonic’s chest aches as he watches his friends talk to each other, whole, alive, normal. He misses them so much.
No, missed. Past tense, he reminds himself. They’re right here.
Part of him still can’t trust it.
-
Sonic doesn’t sleep that night. Or for a few nights after that.
He’s never been this exhausted in his life, but he can’t sleep, can’t stop thinking, can barely breathe. Some of his limbs are still numb, and he can’t seem to stop shivering. Hopefully that’s temporary. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, though.
He can’t trust this, can’t trust that it isn’t some sort of illusion made up by the Chaos Council, or maybe his last dying dream as he fades away in the void between the portals.
When he gets into bed, he scrambles to flick the light back on, the encroaching darkness reminding him too much of fading away again, the noises from the other side of the house - Tails working on his current project - turning from soothing white noise to inexplicably bone-chilling.
Sonic could swear there’s someone watching him through the window, a flicker in the ark. His mind runs through the possibilities. Nine? Eggman? One of those robots? There’s a decent chance he’s hallucinating (see: lack of sleep), but there’s still no way to really be sure, is there?
… Maybe there is. Sonic’s too tired to figure it out.
He wishes Shadow was here. He hasn’t seen him since he vanished with the Paradox Prism.
Wow, he really must be tired if he’s considering Shadow a comforting presence.
Part of his brain supplies that Shadow is a comforting presence, or at least he would be comforting compared to being alone. He thinks of standing atop an asteroid, watching as the portal to the ghost of Green Hills crumbled, with Shadow by his side. Shadow, always cool under pressure, always making up for Sonic’s mistakes.
Yeah, he would much rather have Shadow here than be alone. But if there’s one thing he knows about Shadow, it’s that Shadow does things on his own terms, and Sonic would definitely scare him off if he goes looking for him now.
So he rolls onto his side, presses his hands into his eyes, and tries to breathe. If he can manage that, maybe he can get to sleep.
He manages neither.
-
A knock sounds from the front door in the middle of the night. Sonic’s not sure if he’s hallucinating that, too, but he gets up anyway.
It’s dark out, but Sonic can see through the front window. It’s Shadow.
When Sonic opens the door, he registers that Shadow’s… scared, his ears flattened against his head, his body language tense. Shadow’s fur is mostly black, so dirt doesn’t really show up on him, but the tuft of white fur on his chest looks like someone’s been using it as a mop. Sonic wonders if his own fur looks that bad.
“Shadow?”
Shadow’s posture seems to sag when Sonic speaks, and the corners of his eyes soften a little bit. His ears rise slightly from their pinned-back position. He’s relieved. “Sonic.”
A couple of seconds of awkward silence pass. Sonic breaks it. “So, um. What’s up?”
Shadow opens his mouth to speak, but doesn’t say anything. It’s unlike him to be at such a loss for words.
“Shadow?”
Shadow hesitantly raises his hand, as if to reach out and touch him. “Can - can I…?”
Sonic’s not really sure what Shadow’s asking for, but… “Sure.”
Shadow takes a step forward, inside the threshold, and hesitates for another few seconds before wrapping his arms around Sonic. Hugging him.
“Oh,” Sonic says, stupidly, before hugging him back.
Shadow buries his face in Sonic’s shoulder, his breaths uneven, like he’s trying not to cry.
“Okay,” Sonic mumbles. “Okay.” He’s not really sure what to do, what will spook Shadow away or not. Asking for a hug at three in the morning is unlike him.
Or - maybe it’s not unlike him. Maybe he’s always wanted a hug, and hasn’t had the courage to ask for one.
Shadow was calm and collected enough for the both of them in the Prism Hell Dimension, as Sonic has taken to calling it. Sonic couldn’t figure it out at the time, but Shadow has clearly been more affected by the whole ordeal than he had been letting on.
Shadow’s warm. Sonic has noticed that about him before, mostly when wrestling with him. He wonders if it has anything to do with Shadow’s weird alien biology, or if Sonic just runs cold. God, how long has it been since Sonic last hugged someone?
A breeze blows in from outside, and Sonic shivers, holding Shadow tighter. He’d be nice to have around in the wintertime, Sonic thinks deliriously.
Maybe they should just go inside.
Sonic pulls away slightly, and Shadow reflexively tightens his grip.
“It’s okay, I’m not leaving,” Sonic mumbles.
Shadow reluctantly lets him go, not hugging him anymore but still sort of holding onto him. He won’t meet Sonic’s eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Shadow says quietly.
Does Rouge ever hug him like this? Does he apologize every time?
“It’s okay,” Sonic assures. “C’mon inside, it’s chilly out here.”
Shadow looks like he wants to say something else, but he allows Sonic to lead him inside the living room and shut the door. His eyes glint in the faint light.
“What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” Shadow explains. Some of the tension from before begins to leech back into his frame, and Sonic can see his walls starting to come back up. “Bad dream. Had to - I had to make sure.”
Make sure? That Sonic was okay? How bad did Shadow’s dream have to be, for him to come here in the middle of the night, just to make sure?
Sonic’s no stranger to nightmares. But there’s probably something Shadow’s not telling him, even if it’s just that he really did want a hug.
“Me too,” Sonic tells him. “I mean - the can’t sleep thing.”
Another few seconds of silence, and then Shadow tightens his grip on Sonic’s arms suddenly. He’s still frazzled, then.
“Um… Do you wanna go to my room? I don’t wanna wake up Tails,” Sonic says, which is partially true. Mostly, his legs are still really sore, and he doesn’t want to stand here for much longer.
Shadow nods, still not looking at him.
-
“Why are you sleeping with the light on?”
“Well - I wasn’t.”
“Oh.”
Shadow pads inside Sonic’s bedroom, apparently not put off by how much of a mess it is. If Sonic had any energy left whatsoever, he’d definitely do some last-minute tidying. He flops down on the bed, wishing desperately that he were able to sleep, because it’s very comfortable and it feels like a waste to have such a comfortable bed that he can’t even sleep on.
“Sorry,” Sonic mumbles. “I don’t really have much in the way of entertainment, if that’s what you’re looking for. My books all have a lotta dust on them, probably.”
“S’fine,” Shadow replies. He follows Sonic, and sits down on the bed with his knees pulled up to his chest, perching nearly on the very edge. He’d fall off if Sonic gave him a push.
They sit in comfortable silence until something touches Sonic’s arm. He glances up to see Shadow with one finger outstretched.
“... Did you just poke me?”
Shadow blinks. “Sorry.” He pulls his hand back, and rubs his face harshly. “When - when I look at you, I can’t stop seeing when you - when you were -”
“Oh,” Sonic says. “S’okay. I’m right here.”
“I know,” Shadow replies. He curls into himself slightly. Hm.
Sonic sits up, propping himself up against the headboard and spreading his arms. “C’mere.”
Shadow stares at him before scooting over and dropping his head onto Sonic the way he did earlier. He seems to melt slightly, the tension bleeding out of him.
His fur is soft, brushing against Sonic when he inhales, his chest rising and falling in time with the clock ticking on Sonic’s nightstand, a soothing rhythm. He smells faintly of lavender.
“Sorry,” Shadow whispers, again. His arms come up to loop around Sonic’s waist.
“Stop apologizing.”
“I don’t - I don’t want to be a bother.”
“Aww, you really do care about me.”
“I could kick your ass right now.”
Sonic laughs. “I know.”
Shadow shifts. “... I do care. I sort of thought - I sort of thought I made that pretty obvious.” He pauses. “Although, I suppose you’ve never been very good with subtlety.”
“Hey.”
Shadow snickers. His breath tickles the fur on Sonic’s neck. Sonic doesn’t think he’s heard Shadow laugh for a while, at least for the entire time they were in the Paradox Prism Hell Dimension. The sound is weird, but it’s still sort of cute, like the noise a kitten makes when it sneezes.
Shadow falls silent again for a few minutes, before sitting up abruptly and pushing himself off of Sonic.
“Shadow? You okay?”
“Sorry.” Shadow rubs his eyes. “Didn’t wanna fall asleep on you.”
Sonic recalls Shadow telling him at some point that ultimate lifeforms don’t need sleep , or something like that. How exhausted is he?
“I don’t care, you can sleep if you want,” Sonic says. Shadow’s warm, and pretty soft, and Sonic hasn’t hugged anyone in weeks, and this might be a bad idea, but Sonic is too tired to care. “Actually -”
Sonic scoots over and lies down. Shadow just sort of stares at him, so Sonic holds his arms out and makes grabby motions with his hands. Shadow bites his lip like he’s trying not to laugh.
“Hurry up,” Sonic mumbles. “I’m tired.”
Shadow rolls his eyes and lies down. He doesn’t protest when Sonic hugs him again, and the spiked-up quills on his head begin to lay flat. Shadow’s quills are a mess. A good amount of them are bent, and some are broken entirely.
Sonic buries his muzzle in Shadow’s quills and closes his eyes. He opens his mouth to speak -
“If you say anything about me being a hugger, I’m going to murder you,” Shadow interrupts.
“That’s not what I was gonna say.”
“What were you going to say, then?”
“... Something else. Something totally better.”
Shadow snorts.
“The light’s still on,” Shadow points out. “Do you want it off?”
“Meh, leave it.” Sonic is far too comfortable to get up anyways.
They’re both asleep in minutes.
-
When Sonic wakes up, sunlight streams through his bedroom window. Also, there’s someone on top of him. He has a brief flash of panic before he remembers why.
Shadow’s still fast asleep, it appears, lying halfway on top of Sonic, their legs tangled up. His chest rises and falls; the tuft of white fur is as soft as it looks.
Sonic’s fingers are still a little bit numb, but he’s not shivering anymore. The weight of Shadow on top of him presses him down into the mattress. It all feels comfortingly, surprisingly real.
Sonic takes a deep breath, and Shadow stirs, lifting his head to look up at him. Whoops.
“Hi,” Sonic says.
Shadow’s eyes widen. “Sorry,” he chokes out. “Sorry - I’m -”
There’s a flash of light, and then he’s gone.
Sonic sighs. Spooked him. Figures.
-
Without Shadow there, the shivering comes back; it goes away eventually after a few days, and so does the numbness. But there’s something else in Sonic’s chest that does not, something that makes it hard for him to breathe when he’s sitting still. He’s always been fidgety, but this is different.
He still can’t sleep.
He runs laps around the island, hopes that maybe he’ll be able to sleep if he tires himself out enough. He gets to 284 laps before he stops counting them.
-
Someone’s talking to him.
A voice floats at the edge of his consciousness. Maybe he slept in, and Tails is coming to wake him up. No, probably not. It’s way too cold to be his bed.
He opens his eyes and looks up; a figure stands above him. Not Tails. It’s Shadow, black fur framed by gray storm clouds.
“Ugh… Shadow…?”
Shadow kneels down in the sand beside him. “What the hell are you doing out here?”
Sonic squints up at him. “What’re you doing out here?”
Shadow’s eye twitches. “Answer the damn question, faker.” Wow, he hasn’t heard that nickname in a while.
“I was running laps,” he explains. “I got tired.” He doesn’t remember lying down, though. Maybe he did actually pass out. Win!
Shadow sighs, and extends a hand to help Sonic up. “It’s pouring rain. You’ll catch a cold.”
“That’s an old wives’ tale. That’s not how colds work.”
“Hypothermia, then.”
A sharp, deep ache pulses through Sonic’s legs as he stands. He nearly falls over, but Shadow catches him, supporting his weight. “ Owww. ”
“How long have you been running for, exactly?” Shadow asks him with mild alarm. “We’ve been looking for you all day.”
Sonic wonders who we is, if Shadow now considers himself part of Sonic’s friend group. The thought makes him slightly giddy.
“Uh. I lost count after three hundred laps or so?” Sonic grins sheepishly. Shadow remains unamused.
“ Why, ” Shadow hisses.
Sonic shrugs. Shadow makes a frustrated grumbly noise in the back of his throat. “I’m bringing you inside.”
“Wh - huh -”
“Chaos control!”
-
Traveling via Chaos control still makes Sonic more nauseous than he’d like to admit. He wonders if it makes Shadow nauseous, too, or if he does it so much that he’s used to it.
Sonic takes a few deep breaths. “Urgh. Warn me next time.”
“I did warn you.”
“No, you said ‘I’m bringing you inside.’ I thought you were just gonna, like, grab my arm and drag me.”
Shadow looks mildly offended. “I wasn’t going to make you run. You said ‘ow’ when you stood up. You’re clearly not in any condition to be traveling long distances on foot.”
“Sonic!” Tails interrupts. “Shadow, you found him!”
Tails throws himself at Sonic, hugging him tightly. Sonic desperately pushes down the instinct to push Tails off of him, and run far, far away. Not Nine. Tails. Not Nine. Just Tails.
“Ack, you’re soaking wet.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” Amy sighs. “We were so worried!”
Tails nods. “You’ve been acting weird,” he mumbles into Sonic’s chest fur. “Ever since the Paradox Prism.”
Sonic laughs nervously as all eyes in the room flick over to him. Knuckles and Rouge are here too, apparently. They look pretty wet. They must have been out looking for him in the rain. Oops.
Shadow turns to him too, and raises an eyebrow. He’s not going to help him out, then.
“I’m fine,” Sonic says breezily. “I just went out for a run and lost track of time. Didn’t mean to make you all worry.”
They don’t seem particularly convinced, but Tails perks up suddenly. “Hey, since you’re wet now, you can help me test out something I’ve been working on!”
Tails disappears into the hallway for a minute, and returns holding what appears to be a giant hair dryer and sporting a wide grin.
“Thanks, buddy, but uh, I’m just gonna go get a towel, I think,” Sonic says.
Tails droops a little, before turning to Knuckles and Rouge. Sonic slips past them to grab a towel.
-
When Sonic lowers the towel from his face, Shadow’s standing in front of him. Sonic yelps and drops it.
“Jeez, don’t scare me like that,” Sonic manages.
Shadow doesn’t reply, instead electing to inspect the wet towels strewn about the floor. “You’ve used three towels. You should’ve let Tails dry you off.”
“No, thanks. I prefer not to be his first test subject. You saw what happened, with the last one - it took three weeks for the fur on my arm to grow back.”
“For what it’s worth, the dryer seems to be working fine.”
“... I’ll keep that in mind.”
Shadow’s still all wet, though. Seems he didn’t want to risk it, either.
Shadow sits down on the toilet seat and glares at him. “Why were you running hundreds of laps around the island?”
Sonic just shrugs, and attempts to busy himself with the towel. Shadow snatches it out of his hands.
“Hey!”
“Don’t play dumb with me. I’m not that gullible.”
“...Sorry.”
“Well?”
Sonic has half a mind to grab the towel back from him and hide behind it. Or maybe strangle Shadow with it. “I can’t sleep. I thought maybe, if I tired myself out enough…”
To his surprise, Shadow doesn’t yell at him. “You…”
“I what.” Sonic has a feeling he knows what Shadow’s about to bring up, but -
“Never mind.” Shadow looks away, hands the towel back, and leaves.
Sonic stares at the damp towel in his hands. “Huh.”
-
Shadow starts hanging around with Sonic and his friends more. They still don’t talk about… any of it, but Sonic is happy to have him around.
They’re at the beach, and Tails has invented some sort of instant sand castle contraption.
“What’s the point of building a sand castle if you don’t actually get to build it?” Knuckles asks.
“Cause now we can make more sand castles! We could have a sand castle city , Knuckles!” Tails counters.
Shadow stands off to the side, carefully avoiding stepping onto the sand. Maybe he’s allergic to it.
Sonic waves him over. Shadow wrinkles his nose in a way that’s reminiscent of Tails when he has to eat vegetables, and gingerly steps out onto the beach.
When he reaches Sonic, his fur is all fluffed out and his quills are spiked up. “Did you need something?”
“Whoa, hey,” Sonic tries. “Calm down. We’re just at the beach, dude.”
Shadow closes his eyes, taking a slow breath. “I don’t like sand.”
“Why?”
“Gets everywhere. The last time I went to the beach, I had sand in my quills for weeks. ”
“That’s part of the fun.”
“ How? ” Shadow demands.
Sonic rolls his eyes. “Never mind. I forgot that you’re an old man who’s allergic to fun.”
Shadow kicks the ground, sending sand flying into Sonic’s face.
“Ack! Phbbthphbth! Now it’s in my mouth, jerk…”
Shadow smirks. Sonic scoops up a clump of sand and chucks it at him.
It hits Shadow squarely in the chest fluff.
“I am never going to get the sand out of this,” Shadow growls. “I hope you know that.”
Sonic grins. “I know.”
Shadow makes an angry noise and tackles him. Sonic yelps as the back of his head hits the sand.
Shadow hovers above him, covered in sand and absolutely pissed off, and Sonic can’t believe he’s being this immature.
Actually, he kind of can believe it.
He starts laughing.
“Shut up,” Shadow demands, which just makes Sonic laugh even harder.
Shadow bites his lip, looks away. Trying not to laugh, Sonic realizes.
Sonic’s brain quickly runs through all of the ways he might be able to get Shadow to break. He lands on poking Shadow’s nose. It works.
Sonic’s not sure if he’s ever heard Shadow laughing before - like, actually full-on laughing. He almost looks like a completely different person, his teeth glinting in the sunlight.
Sonic takes the chance, while Shadow’s distracted, to drop another handful of sand on his head.
Shadow shrieks, and scrambles backwards off of him. Sonic cackles.
“You’re going to pay for that,” Shadow hisses, but he’s still smiling a little.
“Only if you can catch me first!”
-
Sonic is used to operating on little to no sleep, but this is just getting annoying.
He’s kind of given up at this point, so he sits in his room and tries to read a book. He’s never liked books very much. He can’t bring himself to sit still for that long.
And then -
A flash of red light, and Shadow’s in his room. Shadow lands on his feet, but collapses backwards, sitting on the carpet.
“Shadow?”
Shadow doesn’t respond, breathing heavily.
“Shadow? Shadow - hey -”
Sonic mumbles a string of curses and slides off of the bed to get closer. Shadow’s hands are pressed into his eyes. His breaths come out in ragged gasps.
“Shadow, hey, can you hear me? What’s going on?”
Cautiously, Sonic reaches out a hand to him, resting it on his arm, and Shadow sobs, slumping over onto Sonic.
“Okay. Okay, okay. Uh.” The gears in Sonic’s brain start to turn. This would be much easier if he had slept in the past two days.
He hugs Shadow to his chest, and Shadow clings to him even more tightly than he had the night he’d shown up at Sonic’s door.
Sonic is good at giving hugs - that, he knows - but this seems outside his area of expertise. “Just - just breathe, okay? I gotcha.”
Sonic buries his face in the top of Shadow’s head. Just like last time, Shadow’s warm, and he smells like lavender. Lavender’s supposed to help relieve stress - maybe that’s why Shadow likes it.
Maybe it’s selfish, but Sonic’s kind of glad that Shadow wasn’t like this when they were dealing with the Prism. It would probably have been bad if both of them were having mental breakdowns.
Shadow seems to calm down after a few minutes, but he doesn’t pull away.
“Nightmare?” Sonic guesses.
Shadow just nods in reply. He sits up, wiping at his eyes. “Sor -”
“Nuh-uh,” Sonic interrupts. “Quit apologizing. You know I wasn’t asleep anyway.”
Shadow’s throat bobs. He studies his gloves.
Sonic stands and offers him a hand. “Stay?”
Shadow takes it.
(This time, he stays for breakfast.)
-
It does get easier as time goes on.
Amy sets up a picnic, maybe to make up for the one that Sonic was barely conscious for. Sonic tries not to get chili dog crumbs on one of the hammocks they’ve set up.
Shadow’s here, too, but he doesn’t have a chili dog, because he hates fun.
“I do not hate fun, ” Shadow snarls.
“Really? It’d explain a lot, y’know.”
“I don’t hate fun . I hate chili dogs. ”
Sonic pouts at him. “Why?”
“I can’t stand hot dogs.”
“So take the hot dog out, and just have the chili and the bun.”
“What’s even the point of that? Then it’s not a chili dog anymore.”
“Chili bun,” Sonic insists in his best singsong voice. “Don’tcha wanna try a chili bun, Shads? Loosen up. Have some fun. Chili bun. Hey, that rhymes. Have some fuuuun, chili buuuun. Have some fun ~ ”
Shadow grabs the edge of his hammock and tugs it down sharply, almost flipping it over. Sonic yelps and Shadow laughs at him.
“Jerk.”
Shadow snickers.
“You have to eat something, even if it’s not a chili dog.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Aw, are you sure? We got grapes, ‘n’ stuff. But I don’t know how many we have left. Knuckles might fight you for them.”
Shadow wrinkles his nose. “Those are basically the same as hot dogs.”
“What? How? ”
“They both have skin, and they’re both… disturbingly squishy on the inside.”
“I have skin, and I’m squishy on the inside. Do you hate me too, Shads?”
“I might, if I intended to eat you.”
“You shouldn’t. I wouldn’t be very nutritious, probably.”
Shadow smirks. “I know. The only thing I’ve ever seen you eat is chili dogs.”
Sonic gapes in mock offense. “That is not true. Sometimes, I eat, uh. Candy! And hamburgers.”
Shadow snorts.
“Hey, you’re not one to talk. Rouge told me the main thing you eat is raw coffee beans.”
“I’m the ulti -”
“- ultimate lifeform, don’t need to eat, yeah, yeah.”
“That was a terrible impression of me.”
“ Yeah, yeah, ” Sonic repeats.
“I’m going to murder you.”
“Nah, you like me too much.” Sonic grins up at him.
Shadow rolls his eyes, but doesn’t protest.
Sonic scoots over, or tries his best, at least. It’s hard to do in a hammock. “C’mere.”
“What?”
“I’m tired. Take a nap with me.”
Shadow squints at him. “Are you serious?”
“I would never joke about naps. I love taking naps.”
“... That hammock is too small for both of us.”
“No, it’s not. C’mon.”
Shadow sighs, and climbs in with some difficulty. Hammocks are already pretty hard to get inside, Sonic figures, even when there’s no one else in them.
“Ack, your quills are stabbing me -”
“I can leave any time I want.”
“Nonono wait wait -”
Shadow laughs at him rudely before closing his eyes. Sonic wonders if anyone’s watching them.
Shadow’s chest rumbles softly, warm and solid. Sonic decides he doesn’t really care.