Archive of Our Own ^beta

The water inside the aquarium is blue. A kind of vibrant unnatural hue, like a sunlit pool. And while Jongho’s sure the water doesn’t have all the stuff in it like the pool in the rec center—all the chemicals and dye—he can’t help but wonder if the color of the walls give the scape its perfect filter or the water inside the aquarium tank is just a little toxic. 

As Jongho watches the spaces in-between the tall strands of kelp beyond the aquarium glass, the current swaying and fish schooling, he realizes he doesn’t know much about aquariums. He can look it up when he gets home while his mom prods him about why he isn’t using their old clunky desktop to find a job instead of figuring out more about Uljin Aquarium. He’s lived in Uljin most his life but there’s always more to find out about the cramped yet empty town. 

Jongho had started his week under the clouds of a February sky outside the aquarium, his three year old sister’s hand in his. She had been a handful on the drive, kicking the back of his seat and calling him her new favorite nickname, smelly oppa . The seat kicking is not new, she does it nearly every time he drives her places in his mother’s 2000 Daewoo Rezzo, but the nickname is, and Heejin is ecstatic about it. Jongho wonders if his mom wanted to launch him into the sun just as badly when he was about to turn four years old and obnoxious.

Sometimes Jongho feels fortunate for the sake of his mother’s mental wellbeing that she and his father took sixteen years before having a second child (if Heejin was planned at all). Jongho sees himself in Heejin sometimes, with all her playful energy, need to be right all the time, desire to climb things, and greater desire to jump off said things. He has been told he was typically well behaved, but he doesn’t know how his relatives handle their own children, his aunt having five all within twelve years of each other. With Jongho’s mother’s temperament and his father’s commitment to work, it makes sense that they only wanted one child for as long as they did. 

It does suck a little bit that they waited so long and therefore Jongho had only gotten to really spend about half of Heejin’s life with her under their roof, occupied by college in Seoul throughout her second and third year. But as of the end of the last semester in December, Jongho’s attendance at Yonsei had come to an end, so he figures he has plenty of time to make up for lost sibling bonding. With his dreams crushed, half a degree, and his location promptly situated back in a hometown where nobody actually wanted him, he might as well focus on how much Heejin enjoyed having someone else in the house to annoy. 

Jongho misses Yonsei though. He misses his friends and the city. He misses classrooms and the cafeteria, his computer science homework, and long nights studying for tests he always did well on—except, of course, when it mattered. Having one failed course strip you of everything you’d worked so hard on was ridiculous, as far as Jongho was concerned, but saying that during meetings hadn’t gotten him his scholarships back. It had just damned him back to Uljin. 

Jongho doesn’t mind Uljin much when he’s inside the tank studded walls of its aquarium. Gentle music drifts over the speakers, the ambience paired with the artificial lapping of ocean waves. It’s peaceful here, Jongho thinks as he sits on the bench in front of a round tank with a school of silver fish and a shark. Uljin Aquarium is nearly empty, perfectly artificial. Jongho lets out a satisfied sigh and pulls his DS out of the pocket of his denim jacket, its red case catching the light. A new Pokemon game has just come out—well, technically it had come out nearly a year and a half ago in 2006, but it had just recently gotten a Korean release Jongho could understand—and now he’s maybe two hours of grinding away from knocking out the last four gyms of the Diamond version. Any free time has been wasted on trying to evolve his Riolu, but he works in the greenhouses all day with his auntie and barely has time to work on applications for other jobs or school or something, anything, during the limbo before and after dinner. On top of that Heejin has been demanding Jongho read her the Pokedex before bed, so he’s booked for the evenings every weeknight. 

Despite thinking he would have all the free time in the world while not engaged with college work, Jongho finds he has very little. 

The greenhouse job is tiring, and while Jongho had always been in sports as a kid, he traded in his physical prowess after spending too much time hunched over his family’s Samsung PC trying to teach himself to code. His back has been hurting like some sort of grandpa and he finds he falls asleep quickly most nights, especially if his DS is in his hands. 

As Jongho boots up his game, he watches Heejin in front of the tank. He had brought her every possible thing he could find in their home that would fit into his mother’s aptly named Heejin To-Go Bag —which included coloring books, all her plastic animals, two lunches for the both of them, water for the day, wet wipes, and more—and she sits before the floor to ceiling glass with a coloring page. The aquarium is empty despite it being a holiday, but Jongho chalks it up to everybody wanting to get the hell out of Uljin to see family instead of buying a frankly overpriced ticket to a shitty little aquarium. There’s barely any staff either. Jongho prefers it this way. 

The fish swim, Heejin colors, Jongho taps the buttons on his DS, and all is well. 

“Oppa,” Heejin says after around six or seven minutes of blissful quiet, but that’s more than usual from the three year old. Jongho counts himself rather lucky. 

“Yes, Heejin-ah?” Jongho says, still focused on the battle going on and how to most effectively drain the opposing pokemon of its health so he can catch it. 

“Did you know that sharks had legs?” Heejin says with utter confidence. Jongho looks up at her and tries to keep his face even, unknowing if what will surface is exasperation over the lack of truth behind the comment or amusement that Heejin might think that at all. 

“Where were their legs?” Jongho asks and Heejin points at a small brown shark that coasts by the glass. 

“On their butt,” she says, completely serious, and Jongho figures she’s talking about the little fins that protrude near the shark’s tail. He honestly isn’t sure whether Heejin is serious, she does watch a lot of nature shows because their mother thinks they’ll make her smarter and Heejin has always been obsessed with any sort of creature. 

Jongho gets about another ten minutes of Pokemon in, leveling his Riolu up once, inching ever closer to evolving the thing. He’s been wanting to finish the game with a Lucario terribly badly, but his team right now—consisting of a Haunter and a recently evolved Abomasnow, he’s quite fond of. He’d prefer to keep playing, but Heejin wants to move on, so Jongho pockets his DS with a sigh. They wander through the halls of the aquarium, passing tanks a few times before Heejin decides she cares about the seahorses or crabs, and eventually stops to peer into the glass. Some of the tanks are too high up for her, so Jongho ends up with her in his arms as she tugs on his earlobe, more interested in the hole that sits in it than all the colorful fish around her. 

“Why don’t you wear mommy’s earrings?” Heejin asks, feeling her way up his helix. 

“I don’t want mommy to know I wear earrings,” Jongho tells his sister and Heejin lets out a big yawn, still holding onto his ear. Jongho’s head tilts as she pulls a little harder. 

Jongho had gotten his ears pierced in Seoul with his friend, Wooyoung, as they traveled through Itaewon with a few too many drinks sloshing around in their stomachs. He hadn’t regretted it, especially when the small studs had gotten the attention of one of his classmates in an operating systems course. He hadn’t been anything special, but the night he had spent with the man had been nice and taught Jongho a few key things about himself and his sexuality. 

Things his mother didn’t really need to know. 

Jongho’s mother wasn’t against Jongho having an interest in men, but she was not keen on body modifications. Or sex. How she hadn’t noticed the small holes in Jongho’s lobes was a wonder, but sometimes Jongho thought she was just ignoring them because she knew they would close up with Jongho’s lack of attention. 

“I think you’d look very pretty with mommy’s earrings,” says Heejin as she lets go of Jongho’s ears and wiggles to be let down. Jongho’s stomach sits in his throat awkwardly at his sister’s words, suddenly overcome with missing his life in Seoul where he might have gotten away with wearing the large knock off diamond pieces Jongho’s mother pulled out on special occasions. He was thankful for his mother’s acceptance of his sexuality, but there were little things she still made comments on that made him feel as though home were a cage. All of his friends from high school and earlier, not that he ever had many or anybody he would consider a good friend, had moved on from Uljin, leaving Jongho with nobody to poke through the bars and make him feel like everything wasn’t so isolated. He was too young to feel lonely, and yet… Uljin was lonely. 

Heejin’s yawning becomes more frequent as they continue through the tanks, stopping only at the small shark exhibit that has three medium sized sharks swimming in circles with a few smaller ones darting between. Some fish risk their lives in the tank, but Heejin could care less about them. Her focus is entirely on the sharks and Jongho is awarded another few minutes to boot up his DS and lean against the wall as Heejin follows the creatures around the tank. 

He considers the day successful when Heejin admits that she wants to go home around 1pm without a meltdown. He carries her out of the aquarium, putting her down as they stride out of the place. 

Jongho stretches once the sun hits his face, slipping just barely between the cloud cover, but he puts his arms down when he notices the way Heejin eyes the sea dragon statue outside the entrance. The beast is perfect for climbing on, but slippery with condensation in the February chill. It’s a danger if Jongho’s ever seen one, or at least a recipe for turning Heejin’s skirt and leggings damp. He’s prepared when Heejin runs for it, grabbing her hand tight as she swings outwards with the stop of inertia. 

She screams. 

“Heejin-”

“I want to play on the dragon!”

“Jinni-”

“Oppa! Oppa!” she sobs while tugging on his hand, not quite standing upright because her landing has Jongho holding all her weight with one arm as he adjusts the Heejin accessory bag over his other shoulder. It weighs more than it should and Jongho wonders, not for the first time, how his mother does it. 

Jongho ends up having to put down the big bag when his short attempts at getting Heejin to stop her tantrum fail to get his sister’s attention. His arm has become tired from the tugging and Heejin’s scratching at his hand is starting to sting. Jongho carefully picks Heejin up, avoiding her little, swinging fists, and holds her as tight as he can. 

“We don’t hit,” Jongho scolds and Heejin lets out an angry whimper near his ear as she tries to wiggle against his hold. 

“Wanna go home,” she whines and Jongho chooses to take the slight shift in attention and run with it.

“We can go home, Jinni, but we just say bye-bye to mr. Dragon. We can’t climb on him today.” 

Heejin makes another noise, kind of like if you shot the world’s saddest puppy, and Jongho pats her back, loosening up his hold. Then his body tightens a bit and a shiver runs down his spine. A man walks past him, a little too close for comfort, and Jongho watches as Heejin’s head follows him, her stare unbelievably blatant, but Jongho is sure his is too. It’s hard to look away from someone who looks like that and Jongho can barely see his face. 

It makes Jongho feel funny as he finds he measures only around the man’s chin, a long torso paired with a set of legs setting the stranger above the 180cm mark. Jongho would be envious if not for his frontal lobe being in the process of losing all rationale. Slightly wavy brown hair crowns the man's head and Jongho feels weak. Choi Jongho is not weak, but the man’s shoulders are broad and the way they stretch the thin sweatshirt and polo with the aquarium’s logo over his frame has Jongho’s stomach dropping.

“Look, it’s a mermaid!” Heejin says suddenly. Jongho has no clue what she means. Heejin loves mermaids and a man with legs couldn’t be farther from what the ethereal sea creatures are. Jongho chooses not to question it. 

Jongho’s stomach drops further, like entirely out his asshole, as the man turns back towards him and his sister, his chiseled jaw coming into sight along with gorgeous cheekbones. The man smiles, shyly giving Heejin a wave. Heejin lets out a gasp and buries her face in Jongho’s jacket, the act making the man’s smile widen slightly. Jongho decides it would only be polite for him to wave back if his sister is incapacitated by her awe. He tries not to make it look awkward. 

A zing runs through Jongho when the man’s eyes turn up a little further behind a pair of thick rimmed glasses, his smile widening. He waves twice at Jongho and slips inside the aquarium without a word. Jongho takes a pair of scissors to his memory and clips that smile out to paste in a scrapbook so he can save it forever. 

Buzzing, Jongho picks his stomach up off the concrete and ignores the way it shakes in his torso as he gathers up Heejin’s bag and lets his sister down, watching her carefully as she runs up to the dragon to give it a greeting. Heejin’s mention of the mermaid sticks in Jongho’s head. 

Jongho supposes that if he were some sailor on a boat and drowning, he’d prefer a man that looked like that to save him over a naked woman. Much prefer it even. 

His attention, however, switches quickly when he witnesses Heejin trip on her way over, sprawling over the concrete only to get up again without complaint. Thankfully she’s decided to be a good lister today and doesn’t make an attempt to climb the dragon, instead knocking her forehead against the steel creature’s own. She’d been doing that with Jongho lately, the action nicknamed her animal hello and goodbye. 

As they cross the parking lot, Heejin’s footsteps grow heavy and Jongho finds himself tugging her along to get to the car. They climb in the Rezzo, Heejin falling asleep almost immediately after kicking Jongho’s seat a few times. Jongho ignores her feet against his back, mind favoring the image of the man. The slightly crooked smile has Jongho’s mind running through thirty different feelings, all categorized under some sort of nervous or ecstatic. 

Since returning to Uljin, Jongho figured there would be nothing for him here. The population is either too old or too young, or somebody Jongho hated in high school, but his heart is still thrumming as he pulls out of the parking lot and onto the country roads that lead back to their part of town. He’s never been one to fall for a stranger, but his body feels like static as he goes about the rest of the day, lightened by the idea that there could be someone here for him. 

🪸

“You need to go back to the damn aquarium and bounce on it.”

Jongho spits out his water. It dribbles down his chin unceremoniously as he tucks the land line under his ear, moving to grab a kitchen towel. “What the fuck,” he says into the receiver, wiping his lip. Wooyoung lets out a sharp, crisp laugh that crackles through the phone. 

“The only way to get your man is to go back there with intention. I'm serious Jjong!”

“No you’re fucking not.”

“Bounce. On. It.”

“What does that even mean?” Jongho snaps. Jongho’s been sitting on the experience of the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen for a few days too long, but he and Wooyoung call on Thursdays, so he had to sit on it. Really sit on it. He had had dreams and everything, not that he remembered them too well, but they involved the man and his shiny eyes and wonderful brown hair. Maybe something to do with fish as well. He remembers pink scales for some reason. 

He’s still confused about the whole mermaid thing. It must be bleeding into his dreams. 

The smacking of hands comes from the speaker of the phone, and Jongho pulls it away in disgust. “Let him pound you.”

Jongho scoffs “Is that something you learned from your old ass boyfriend?” 

A disgruntled, “hey,” comes from the background of Wooyoung's audio and Jongho scrunches his eyes closed and prays Wooyoung didn't have him on speaker this whole time as he pathetically confessed he had fallen in love at first sight with a stranger. 

“Please tell me I wasn't on speaker,” Jongho asks his best friend. Please dear God did Wooyoung’s hot twenty-eight year old boyfriend not hear me talk about a man with such impurity. 

“Say hi, Hongjoong-ah,” Wooyoung's voice lilts through the phone. 

“Hi,” says Hongjoong and Jongho wishes he were dead. 

He wrangles up a distraction, spitting up a quick, “You let your dongsaeng of seven years call you Hongjoong-ah?” that has Hongjoong silent on the other end. The floor of Hongjoong's old apartment in downtown Seoul creaks obnoxiously as he presumably walks away. 

“You scared him off,” Wooyoung confirms after a moment. 

“Why do you even have a twenty-eight year old boyfriend?” Jongho hisses and Wooyoung clicks his tongue against his teeth. 

“Good listener, hot, financially stable, not a loser, has a degree in sociology, good with kids, super sexy, I could go on.”

“Don't bother.”

Wooyoung lets out a dry chuckle. “You don't have to be jealous. Maybe your aquarium boy is thirty and on a divorce. Maybe he'll take real good care of you, Hojongie.”

“I’m hanging up, bye.”

“Aw what? I didn't even get to say hi to Heejin-ah or auntie.”

“You can say hi to them next week,” Jongho tells his friend. “I'll call you at seven, sharp. Okay?”

“Like always,” Wooyoung snarks and Jongho feels a pang in his chest if only because of the distance between them. “If you don't call at seven, I'm calling at seven-oh-five. Let me know if you take Heejin-ah to the aquarium! Love you!”

Jongho hangs up first if only because he already said his goodbyes and the idea of saying I love you back to an over affectionate Wooyoung makes him a little sick. He reckons he's going to have to overcome his embarrassment over saying I love you one day, but not today. Not to Wooyoung. He's got better things to do. Like attempting to court an Uljin aquarium staff member. 

Just the thought of striding back into that aquarium with any confidence to talk to a man he hasn’t said a word to has Jongho considering throwing himself off a bridge, but dear God can he not stop thinking about that jawline. 

“Momma!” he calls into the house, not knowing if his mother is in her study writing, cleaning the living room, laundering, or doing one of the numerous other tasks around the house that need to be done while Jongho gabs on the phone with his Seoulite friend. 

His mom answers from her bedroom. “What?!” 

Jongho shuffles into her room, not wanting to yell through the walls of the living room and kitchen. 

“Do you have plans for Heejin over the weekend?”

“Why?” his mother asks over her open book, not looking up from the page as Jongho leans forwards against the doorframe of the room. 

“I wanted to take her to the aquarium,” Jongho tells her and his mothers eyes snap over the rim of her glasses. “She enjoyed it a lot the other day–”

“Does she need to go again?” his mom asks and Jongho fights every bone in his body to not shut down and start agreeing with his mom. No momma, the tickets will only be money I don’t have and you will have to buy. And I can’t ask that of you cause I’m embarrassed enough that I have half a degree I can’t finish thanks to one poor performance. I’m embarrassed that nobody wants to hire me and I think I’m too good for Uljin and I have no money and no life and it’s not your fault, but I don’t think it’s mine either. But you feed me and house me so you’re right. You’re always right. 

“I just think it'll be fun. Plus it takes her out of your hands,” Jongho suggests and his mom makes a face at that that means she knows he's digging at her weak spot—Heejin not yapping and begging to play cheetahs or whatever her new animal obsession was for the week, giving his mother time to work on a novel that likely will never be published. Her expression, however, doesn't necessarily mean she's mad at his proposal. 

“It's to see that boy again right?” his mom asks suddenly, her eyes drifting back to the pages of her book and Jongho opens his mouth only to close it again. Shame burbles up his throat mixed with embarrassment. It must be obvious on his face. It's not uncommon for Jongho’s mother to listen in on his conversations with Wooyoung, but her acknowledgment is so blunt he cringes. 

“Hey,” he scolds her weakly and his mom rolls her eyes. 

“You need new friends,” she says and this time it’s Jongho’s turn to roll his eyes. Like mother, like son or whatever they say. “You've been so lonely after coming home from Seoul. A boyfriend wouldn't be bad either.”

Jongho feels the flush start in his toes. His mother could be every other Korean mother, strict about grades and cleanliness, his finances and his friends, but her recognition of Jongho’s sexuality without judgment throws him off guard every time. Her tendency to joke about it is only more off putting to him, who had fully assumed she’d beat him when she caught him talking to Wooyoung about the lack of eligible bachelors on their college campus. It had been a few months since his accidental coming out, where she hugged him and told him it would be alright, but she hadn’t said a word about it since. Until now.

It didn’t help that Jongho had plenty of friends in Seoul and it wasn’t like it was his choice to pull him out of Yonsei, but it wasn’t his mother’s choice to be poor either. Being lonely just came with the territory of a gap year or two in a town that everybody wanted to leave and Jongho didn’t have friends in in the first place. She had to know that when she asked him to come home, when there were no solutions to missing scholarships. Without university, Jongho was destined to be lonely. 

“Mom…” Jongho whines and his mother puts down her book in a rather aggressive fashion and brushes her chestnut bob away from her face. 

“He seems like a nice boy your age! Maybe he enjoys video games as well!” Jongho didn’t enjoy video games all that much, just Pokemon. But that was more palatable than his other interests; mainly coding, sometimes guitar—not that he was much good. 

“He’s not just going to be my friend,” he mutters, kicking the doorway a bit with the toe of his slipper. 

“Not with that attitude. I’ll sponsor your aquarium trip, if you go into town and start asking for jobs. At every place. I don’t care if you don’t want to work at a restaurant, auntie Sooyoung said she was looking for a new server. You’re helpful in the greenhouses, but you know Hanjin-ssi and Wonhee-yah can’t pay you,” Jongho’s mother instructs and Jongho lets out a long sigh. “Don’t give me that,” his mother snaps. “You can even keep going to that aquarium as long as you bring that boy home for dinner.” 

Jongho thinks that sometimes he’s convinced too easily, but his mother sometimes—just sometimes—was smarter than him. 

There are things that Jongho has to do to not be lonely. There are reasons to reach out and interact with the people around him. He’s an introvert, but he craves something playful, easy. Nothing like he has right now in Uljin. Spending his childhood in Uljin was unfulfilling because Jongho could not find people he actually liked to be around. Life in Seoul, with his friends like Wooyoung, was so much more colorful and interesting. Jongho had loved Yonsei because he had taken risks and found people he wanted to share time with. 

When his mother told him to make a friend or boyfriend or anything of the sort, she didn’t say it to embarrass Jongho. She didn’t say it to put him on the spot, but to light a fire under his ass; make him want to put time into making Uljin home again. Jongho wasn’t leaving for at least a year. It could be more enjoyable than his childhood in a hundred different ways. Jongho couldn’t make leaving his priority. He had to live here before that.

🪸

Jongho and Heejin end up back at the shark tank two weeks later on a Saturday. Heejin presses her face up against the glass, fully in awe of the creatures as Jongho watches her. Jongho wouldn’t be surprised if Heejin’s animal obsession changes within the week and she develops a biting habit. He shivers thinking of her shark impression, and goes to sit down on one of the benches, eyes scanning for a familiar polo. 

Uljin aquarium is somewhat empty once again, but while nearly nobody strides through the exhibit, just single parents with a kid or two, Jongho soon notices a staff member has been popping their head in every once in a while. He has bright green hair, somewhat long and cut in a way that makes Jongho think of scene music. He’s not Jongho’s guy so Jongho sits back and hopes that he’ll catch word of his target through the staff member’s walkie talkie—which goes off occasionally in a burst of static. It’s quickly Jongho realizes listening in is futile since he’s never heard his man of interest’s voice. 

Jongho has given Heejin control over their trip, if only because using her as an excuse to roam the aquarium was somewhat genius. Coming to Uljin Aquarium alone was something Jongho hadn’t even considered. It would’ve looked stupid to wander the halls as a 20 year old man—though he figured his time on the DS would’ve been more productive and the tickets cheaper if he had left Heejin at home. 

With the device in his hands, Jongho is slowly but surely making his way through the Canalave city gym, though he can barely focus he’s so nervous. Heejin interrupts his game time every once and awhile with a shark fact Jongho isn’t sure is correct or asks him for something from the bag. It's a welcome distraction when the monotony of Pokemon battles fails to keep his nerves at bay.

After a half hour of Heejin carefully walking back and forth across the span of the tank, telling Jongho that the sharks know how to follow her, Jongho finds his DS stylus clutched so tight in his hand that he has to get up and stretch. I’m out of my depth. I can’t flirt with a boy who’s not even in the same room. That’s impossible. 

“Heejin-ah,” Jongho calls to his sister and she looks up, a print of her nose left on the glass. “Let’s go see the tropical fish.” Heejin makes a face and goes back to looking at what must be her new favorite animal. 

“Jini, we have to go to another tank,” Jongho says firmer and Heejin gets up slowly, like her limbs are way too heavy, and stomps her way over to Jongho with dramatics. Jongho gives her a small bag of turtle chips in reward for tearing herself away from the sharks. It eliminates the attitude quickly and efficiently which Jongho needs or else he might crash like a plane mid flight. His DS is so heavy in his pocket and Jongho honestly is starting to reconsider sitting in this room forever, marching through the tall grass or skipping through Pokemon’s dialogue, but he’s already got Heejin marching forwards. Jongho figures searching the aquarium for a staff member he doesn’t even know is there might bring more reward than gunning for a gym badge. So he slowly pulls Heejin along through the halls of Uljin. The aquarium is small enough that it only takes a few minutes of popping their heads in and out of rooms before a familiar frame comes into sight. 

Jongho freezes in the doorway, Heejin looking up at him as she loudly chews her snack.

I’m just gonna go in there, I’m going to follow Heejin, Jongho thinks, but he can’t put one foot in front of each other. It’s like his sister knows he’s pathetic, as she tugs on him and brings him into the room Jongho had sat in last visit. There’s that same school of silver fish that dart throughout strands of kelp in the main display and a few smaller tanks studded in the wall. Heejin spots a colorful array of sea stars in one of the small tanks and marches Jongho right past the man, who is dressed in the same navy aquarium staff polo Jongho had seen him in last time and a pair of khakis. Jongho tries not to look at the employees legs, which fill out his pants a little too well, especially around the hips. 

“Did you know sea stars have a mouth?” Heejin says suddenly as they approach the tank. Jongho didn’t know that. All he seems to be able to fathom right now is that the most attractive person he’s seen in his life is standing ten feet behind him. He’s so tense he feels like he needs to shit. “They walk too,” Heejin says and Jongho manages to let out a dumb little uh-huh that seems to satisfy his sister. 

“So uh, they uh- they actually regenerate limbs as well. It’s pretty cool,” a deep voice says from over Jongho’s shoulder and Jongho whips around, only to find the voice belongs to the man with the soft brown hair who so effortlessly captured Jongho’s heart only two weeks ago. His glasses sit a little crooked on his nose; sort of ridiculous dark brown chunky frames, but they suit him well.

“What’s regenerate?” Heejin asks and Jongho steps back from his sister, so she can turn to face the aquarium staff. He shoots Jongho a little bit of a wary look, nerves apparent on the slant of his plush lips, before he takes a long stride forward. He is so tall. Stupid tall. Jongho has to tilt his chin back to watch his face as their shoulders nearly brush. Then the man is crouching next to Heejin, so their heads align, and pointing up at the tank. 

“You see their arms?” the man says, Heejin nods like her head’s on a bobble. “If they fall off, or a predator eats them, they’ll grow a new one. They need their arms to walk around so it’s important they have all of them.”

Heejin looks at Jongho excitedly. “A whole new arm?” she says and the man nods. “So they could grow a million arms?” she asks and Jongho’s object of attraction shakes his head with a light chuckle that makes Jongho’s cheeks flush. It’s deep and Jongho has always found himself easily swayed by a voice he likes the sound of. 

“No, but some species, like the sunflower sea star, can grow up to forty,” the man tells Heejin and Jongho doesn’t know if he or Heejin is more impressed with the staff member’s knowledge. Jongho has always found intelligence attractive and while facts about sea life hadn’t been what led him to certain dorm rooms in Seoul, the staff member is proving that his knowledge fits into the category of sexy. 

“What’s your name?” the staff member asks Heejin and she looks so excited she could burst at the prospect of getting to introduce herself. 

“Heejin,” she says proudly. “And that’s Jongho-oppa. Where’s your tail?” Jongho stares at his sister. She’s always been a fan of weird questions, but this one knocks it out of the park. 

“Jini, you need to ask his name,” Jongho instructs patiently like he does every time Heejin is impolite, but as the staff member turns his chin up and looks at him, Jongho realizes that this may be closer to a flirting technique than he has dared to attempt in recent months. “It’s rude… if you don’t,” Jongho continues, slowly, because the man in front of him’s shiny eyes are very distracting. 

“What’s your name? And where’s your tail? I thought you were a mermaid.” 

The staff member stands, and his knees pop, making him groan comically. It’s weirdly endearing, but Jongho’s interests have never been very conventional. 

“Song Mingi,” the supposed mermaid introduces, his palm outstretched in a western style greeting. Jongho takes it, noting how warm Mingi’s palm is and the sweat that coats it. It’s a little awkward but Jongho thinks it's a good sign the other man is somewhat nervous, and now he’s gotten to touch his daydreaming fantasy. In real life, Mingi is a bit callused, a bit damp, and his nail beds are destroyed, but it’s good. It’s real and it’s good and Jongho hopes that Mingi feels the same. His expression is slightly bashful and his cheeks are warming to a light flush that makes him look particularly edible.

Not that Jongho’s a cannibal. Not around Heejin anyway. 

“Nice to meet you,” Jongho tells Mingi as they bow slightly to each other, then part. He watches as Mingi bends down and take Heejin’s hand as well, gripping the tips of her fingers gently as Heejin looks at him in awe. He bows to her as well and Jongho pushes Heejin by the back of her neck until she’s bowing as well. When he releases her, she hits him with the biggest stink eye Jongho’s ever seen, but Mingi is quick to step in. 

“To answer your question, I’m only a mermaid in water,” Mingi says. Heejin’s attention is caught in an instant. So is Jongho’s. 

“Do you need to go in the water or you’ll die?” Heejin asks and Mingi looks to Jongho and then back at Heejin with some disbelief in his eyes before he cracks a lopsided smile and covers his mouth with the back of his hand so he doesn’t laugh. Jongho would love to hear the man laugh though. He bets it’s loud and deep, the kind of laugh that reverberates between your ribs long after it’s gone through your ears. A lingering laugh that feels warm and honest. 

“ Heejin. ” Jongho warns and Heejin doesn’t even look at him.

“Mermaids can’t breathe on land unless they have legs,” she says confidently and this time Mingi does let out a surprised little giggle that evolves into a grin that has every single one of his teeth showing. 

“Well, I have legs-” he starts, gesturing to the pair of long, long, long, long, long, long, long legs wrapped up in khakis, but Heejin shakes her head. 

“You have a tail,” she says. “I saw your tail.” 

“Heejin–” Jongho tries to interrupt, because he has no clue what she could be speaking of, but Mingi shoots him a smile that seems to say I got this . Jongho knows he doesn’t, if only because Heejin is a force of nature.

“I also have legs-” Mingi starts, but is cut off in an instant. 

“How can you have a tail and have legs?” Heejin says in her little know it all voice and Jongho would drag her out of this interaction and scold her for being so argumentative, but Mingi has a beautiful face when he thinks things are funny and Jongho would like to bask in the warmth of his enjoyment a little longer. 

“When I’m swimming, I have a tail, but after I dry off, my tail splits in half and turns into legs,” Mingi explains patiently. “I can’t be a mermaid all the time.” Jongho blinks at him the same way his little sister does, both Choi siblings trying to come up with questions. Jongho’s are probably more straightforward, like, why is my sister referring to you as a mermaid? And what is all this tail business? Heejin’s probably have something to do with how in The Little Mermaid , Ariel made a deal with a witch to have legs, so how does Mingi have them without any witchcraft? 

“So you’re a mermaid part-time?” Jongho says quickly, trying to get his questions answered first and Heejin whines as if she knew it was a competition. 

“I do birthdays,” Mingi tells him, standing up to his full height. “Sometimes the Saturday show when our other mermaid isn’t available.” 

“Oh,” gawks Jongho. “So you’re like… a mermaid .” He puts air quotations around the mermaid part, not wanting to spoil the fun for his sister, but wanting a clear answer. Mingi adjusts his glasses and shrugs. Whatever that means. Jongho isn’t sure, but his ears are starting to turn red so he needs to get out of this room and away from the cute boy and his fish-like tendencies. 

“Did you get cursed?” Heejin pipes up. 

Mingi lets out a ha and shakes his head. “I was just born like that, Heejin-ah.” 

“That's what mommy says about Jongho.” It's Jongho's turn to let out a ha , but it's much louder and more forced than Mingi's was. Anxiety raises in his chest but he chooses to assume that Heejin doesn't know what kind of stuff is coming out of his mothers mouth. She proves him wrong quickly. “He kisses boys-” 

“Oh! No!” Jongho lunges to throw a hand over Heejins mouth, but he misses in his urgency and Heejin shoves his hand down. 

“He kisses boys and mommy says he was born like that.” 

Jongho considers picking Heejin up and running away forever to another country where Heejin doesn't know the language so she can never embarrass him again like this. He successfully gets his hand over her mouth, crouching down to hold her tightly so she can't say anything else while he deals with being outed to a stranger. A hot stranger—but a Korean man is a Korean man, and as far as Jongho's concerned, most Korean men are disgusted by Jongho's birth nature. 

“That is- well- um.” Fuck, he doesn't even know what to say. Jongho's emotions swirl into a maelstrom as he just begs Mingi to fucking say something or maybe just get it over with and spit on him. 

“That's–” Mingi starts, then clears his throat, eyes wandering towards a small tank with bright corals. “Your mom sounds really nice.” His eyes flick back to Jongho for a second and as Jongho meets them, he forces himself out of his own head into trying to understand what Mingi's really saying.

There’s a weight to the gaze behind the glasses. It’s not disgust, but something akin to solidarity. There is no outright declaration of Mingi’s sexuality or a vow to stand up to homophobes, but Jongho sees how Mingi’s mouth curls into a little smile and he knows that this kindness cannot go ignored. 

“Yeah,” Jongho breathes. “She’s uh- cool.” 

“Cool,” Mingi responds and Jongho wills himself to keep looking at the man in front of him instead of letting his eyes wander to the floor. “Well, look,” Mingi says suddenly. He points at the scratched digital watch on his wrist, its color a deep grey. “I should probably get back to work. I’m on the schedule to do some tank maintenance.” 

“Yeah, of course,” Jongho says, trying to remain easy going as his heart thuds in his chest. “Sorry we took up so much of your time.” 

“Sorry,” Heejin parrots and Jongho pats her back. 

“It’s fine. Not a problem actually,” Mingi quickly counters. “It was nice to see you… again.” And with that, the man spins on his heel. 

Jongho’s throat constricts, dissatisfaction hanging him like a noose. Having Mingi just say something so weighted and leave feels like being up to bat, except Jongho’s the ball about to get slammed into the stratosphere. He’s not in control but he can’t go flying so soon. Mingi’s back says that the conversation is done, but Jongho’s free will says that there is more to say. So Jongho just swallows his pride and spits out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Do you play Pokemon?” 

If Jongho has any luck (and he feels like the universe owes him some), Mingi will give an enthusiastic yes and provide a time to continue their chat instead of walking out of the exhibit and making Jongho return to the aquarium again and again. Not that Jongho would mind, but he knows his mother would become tired of sponsoring the trips if Jongho made no progress in getting Mingi’s ass sat in a chair at their dinner table. Jongho’s only ever been patient when the ball is in his court, but this isn’t a home game. 

Instead of giving Jongho that yes that he so thought he deserved, Mingi cocks his pretty little head to the left. “Pokemon?” Mingi asks and Jongho nods stupidly while trying to come up with something— anything —that will keep Mingi from walking into the back, perhaps never to be seen again. “That’s, like, Pikachu, right?”

“Yes!” Jongho blurts. “Exactly like Pikachu.” 

“Oh, well, I don’t really play a lot of games,” says Mingi. “I like going to the arcade, but I mostly read.” 

“Really?” Jongho asks him, but the word comes out like he hadn’t expected Mingi the mermaid to have such a hobby. “Uh, that’s sick. I read too.” Mostly graphic novels and manhwa, but Mingi didn’t need to know that. Jongho’s nerdy behavior could stay hidden—not that he hadn’t already announced he was nerdy enough to play a children’s video game. 

“Do you game or read more?” Mingi asks perceptively and suddenly Jongho is being given a test, but this time there is no study period or materials to help him. His palms are nearly as clammy as the last time he was given a packet and asked to fill in answers. The time when he failed. Spectacularly. 

Jongho looks down at Heejin, who’s been suspiciously quiet, and thinks to himself that if he can’t come clean about his hobbies, Heejin will likely do it for him. She opens her mouth so Jongho just bites the bullet. 

“Pokemon Diamond and Pearl just came out like two weeks ago. I haven’t touched a book since.” He tries not to cringe.

“That’s cool,” Mingi says with an easy smile that stops Jongho’s beating heart for a mere moment before Mingi only makes it beat faster. “Maybe you could show me how to play sometime. Sounds fun if you haven’t been reading.”

“Oh yeah. Definitely,” Jongho tells Mingi, keeping it easy, straightforward, not embarrassing . “I have a lot of cool Pokemon you might like.” He thinks of his Riolu and the Lucario it will turn into instead of thinking about the weight his words might have as he says, “I have this one that sort of reminds me of you.” 

Mingi laughs at that. “Really? Is it a fish?”

Jongho shakes his head as Mingi puckers his lips in his best fish face and spreads his hands off his cheeks like fins, looking down at Heejin. She bursts into a squealing fit of giggles and clings to Jongho’s hand. Jongho’s heart is filled with a new kind of fondness at the image of this stranger entertaining his sister with such joy. 

“Noooo! It’s Lucario! It’s Lucario!” Heejin shouts as if she’d read Jongho’s mind. 

“It’s sort of a wolf, dog, jackal,” Jongho explains and Mingi is polite enough to nod, seemingly considering the assignment. 

Heejin points up at Jongho and goes, “Jongho-oppa’s Teddiursa, you’re Lucario, and I’m Bunny!” 

“Buneary,” Jongho corrects.

“Yeah! Buneary!” 

“Cute,” Mingi coos under his breath, just loud enough for Jongho to hear. Of course, because Jongho’s accepted that he is actually just a easily melted fleshy sack inside a hard outer shell around Mingi, his cheeks warm. Despite their color, the obviousness of the flush, Jongho can’t look away from Mingi. Fondness overshadows embarrassment by a longshot, even as Mingi looks towards Jongho and his eyes turn up in a sweet smile. 

“We’ll let you get back to work,” Jongho says and Mingi’s smile falters just a little bit at the reminder of his job. He scratches the back of his head. “You’ll see us again, don’t worry,” Jongho reassures the man, Heejin nodding. 

“It’s my birthday soon! And I want it here!” Heejin says excitedly. “You’ll come right?” 

Mingi’s grin returns, brighter than ever. “I do birthdays. I’ll be there.” 

“With legs or a tail?” Jongho teases. 

“You’ll just have to see,” says Mingi suavely, beginning to walk backwards towards the exit of the exhibit. “I’ll see you around,” he tells Jongho with a wave before looking towards Heejin and giving her one as well. They wave back and Jongho tries not to let a goofy smile onto his face as Mingi bumps slightly into the wall before slipping away. 

The tanks burble around them as Jongho looks down at his sister. “Birthday party, huh?” 

“I’m inviting all the sharks,” Heejin says. “It has to be here.” 

“Because you couldn’t invite the sharks otherwise, right, of course,” Jongho says, hitting himself in the forehead, like it was a mistake on his part not thinking of Heejin’s guests of honor. Like some kind of unfortunate web of memory, Jongho comes to associate the guests with who else could be at the party and a certain self proclaimed mermaid comes to mind. “Heejin-ah, when did you see Mingi as a mermaid?” Jongho asks his sister. 

“When mommy took me to the aquarium for Soyun’s birthday. He swims in the big tank and then comes out at the end! I can’t believe he’s a real mermaid,” she says happily. “He has a pink tail. It’s the prettiest.” 

Jongho doesn’t want to imagine Mingi with sparkling pink scales, but it happens anyway. He doesn’t want to imagine Mingi with his shirt off or shells in his hair, but it happens. It happens and Jongho rubs the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off what other thoughts he could have about a half naked man swimming in an aquarium tank. 

“Do you want to walk around more?” Jongho asks, just to distract himself from Mingi and mermaids, and Heejin nods, beginning to tug on Jongho’s hand. Jongho lets her lead him out to the main hallway, where he sees the other employee with his bright green hair leaning up against a wall a few meters away. Jongho tries not to make eye contact with the man—despite feeling how interest builds up in his chest at the perspective of the aquarium having yet another attractive employee—when he notices the man’s eyes following them. Jongho wonders if Mingi said something to him. He hopes Mingi said something. Something good. Something a little gay. 

🪸

Jongho’s mother is not pleased when her daughter comes home with big fantasies of aquarium birthdays and a cake shaped like a dolphin. Jongho had fed Heejin lines in the car, making sure that her little idea expanded into possible tantrum if denied territory. It had worked wonders, Jongho had barely had to say anything at all, Heejin inspiring herself with grander and grander ideas of what a birthday at the Uljin Aquarium could entail. When all is said and done, Jongho knows that whatever plan his mother had for Heejin’s fourth birthday in a month would have to be discarded in favor of making sure the sharks could be there. 

Jongho’s mom is so displeased with her son’s manipulation, in fact, that she hits Jongho over the head with her purse and orders him to work on the dishes alone. Jongho does so with grace, because he’s managed to score a win by being granted him more time at the aquarium, and because he knows he would do anything for Heejin the same way his mother bends to her youngest’s will. A promise to find a way to celebrate between the rippling water of the tanks is put in place and Jongho tries not to feel smug about it. 

Of course, the smugness turns to nerves once Jongho steps foot outside Uljin aquarium with a newly turned four year old talking his ear off about how smart dolphins are. He’s thankful for Heejin, really, because he knows without her, he’d be so high strung he wouldn’t be able to step foot in the aquarium at all. She makes for a good excuse to be here in the first place and a good wingman, even when she doesn’t know she’s doing it. Jongho’s DS is tucked inside his denim jacket once again, that and a layered flannel and white tshirt keeping him somewhat warm in the late March chill. 

Inside his jeans pocket, Jongho’s phone buzzes, likely a message from his mother asking why he hasn’t brought their guest of honor inside yet, but Jongho had been running late with her in the first place, and now Heejin is once again begging to speak to the dragon. 

Jongho lets her run up to the creature to greet it like she always does, giving himself time to try and get his actions in order. Like a video game character, Jongho figures he should only stick to about three emotives when it comes to interacting with Mingi, the main one being; playing it cool. Mingi’s reaction to Jongho being irrevocably outed by his sister has stuck to Jongho like glue, making him antsy throughout the last month as the date of the party slowly crept up. While he had left his second trip to the aquarium feeling good about himself, his tendency to sit on little interactions has him generally sure that Mingi wasn’t upset he was gay, but also completely floundering when it came to Mingi himself. “Your mom sounds really nice,” wasn’t exactly damning evidence in the case of Mingi’s sexuality. His tendency to dress like a mermaid however did help Jongho’s confidence. Either he had found himself in the presence of the world’s most comfortable straight man, or Mingi’s flamboyance could rival the drag queens Jongho got to meet in Seoul. 

Jongho would just have to find out. 

It’s a Sunday and Jongho figures Uljin aquarium would be just as empty every other time he’s visited, except for the large expanse of his family, family friends, and small children from Heejin’s class taking up the main area of the space next to the small gift shop. Jongho is always impressed with how much of Uljin his mother knows and how many of those folks were willing to chip in to rent the aquarium out for the day. Heejin is beloved in their town and as they make their entrance, the crowd begins to cheer, all trying to grab her attention and wish her happy birthday. After hugging every single one of her friends, she rushes between her grandparents and aunties, receiving adorations and Jongho watches warmly, greeting the family members who come up to him. 

The warmth doesn’t last long though. 

“I heard about your school…” 

“Couldn’t keep the scholarships, huh?”

“That is a shame, Jongho. You always were so smart.”

Jongho bristles at every remark, his cousins being even less kind than Sunhee-ssi who owned the general store or Chanyoul-ssi from the farm down the street. 

“I heard you flunked.”

“You just weren’t good enough for university, but hey I didn’t go either.” 

“Was your mom mad? God, I bet she was so mad.” 

Jongho’s mom had only been mad at first, on the phone, as Jongho called her after his meeting. His eyes had stung with tears as she scolded him for not taking his schooling seriously, but as he talked about the pressure that pulled him down like a weight on his ankle in the middle of a raging sea, she had quieted. Maybe that’s why it hurt so much when Jongho came home. The first thing she had done was hug him, then without mentioning his bus ride from Seoul at all, brought him into the kitchen where a meal was laid out. They hadn’t really talked about it since. There was no mention if Jongho was going to try again. He didn’t even know if he could stomach it, let alone make the money he needed to attend a place like Yonsei. 

It’s his cousins that drive Jongho away from the party and into one of the exhibits, the one with the kelp strands swaying in the gentle current. In the silence he can once again think about how peaceful somewhere like Uljin aquarium is. The place is detached from reality in a way that calms his beating heart and his mind. The fish school and Jongho wishes he were brainless enough to enjoy a glass tank and nothing more. But he’s smarter than that. He knows he is. 

With a heavy sigh, Jongho opens his DS and approaches the tank, resting his forehead against the glass briefly in solidarity with the creatures inside. 

“Oppa!” Heejin yells as she suddenly barrels into the back of Jongho’s legs, hugging him tight. Jongho startles, but puts on a brave face within seconds, unwilling to let Heejin see him frowning on her birthday. With a huff, Jongho turns around in his little sister’s grasp. Leaning down, he pats Heejin’s hair. 

“Yah, birthday girl; we don’t run. It scares the fish,” he scolds. Heejin only giggles. “I’m serious,” Jongho says to more of her little laughs. He flicks his sister on the forehead gently and she pulls away from him with a whine. 

“I won’t run,” the four year old promises as she cautiously steps backwards. As soon as she’s just far enough that Jongho isn’t willing to grab her, she bolts towards the exit of the exhibit. “I want caaaaaake!” Her squeal follows her across the empty aquarium, tiny shrill voice bouncing off the glass. Jongho scowls after her. Their mom will scold him for letting Heejin run wild but it’s her birthday and he knows he’ll have to deal with her post sugar when she gets really crazy. He needs to take some time alone before being subjected to his family again. 

In Heejin’s absence the emotions arise once again, and Jongho sits himself on the bench and wills his game to start faster so as to avoid any other questioning about how he was the new family disappointment. Jongho never wanted to be a disappointment. He worked hard not to be… but here he was… 

His Riolu stares at him when Jongho’s game boots up. He thinks he’s playing the game wrong at this point. Since his last encounter with Mingi, Jongho’s played Pokemon Diamond nonstop, beating the gyms, capturing Dialga, destroying the elite four, and even going toe to toe with Cynthia. He’s done all he can do in the game. There is simply nothing left, but Riolu is level 55 at this point and Jongho is sure he fucked up along the lines. It eats at him especially now. When everything he was doing just wasn’t good enough.

Pokemon sometimes had special ways to evolve. Jongho thought he was smart enough to play the game without looking up how Riolu worked, but his chest aches thinking that he might have to just give up his pride and stomach looking up the answer on a forum. 

Then he hears cheering. And screaming. 

“AAAAAAAAAH,” goes Heejin as she rounds the corner of the exhibit, hurdling towards Jongho. She nearly skids in her mary jane's and starts to pull him off the bench, engaging all of her four year old muscles in the process. “Oppa, the mermaid’s here,” she hisses like it’s a conspiracy. 

“The mermaid?” Jongho entertains, not really listening to the words she says.

“The boy mermaid.” 

Jongho swallows. “The boy mermaid?” 

“C’mon oppa,” Heejin begs. 

“Heejin,” Jongho says in a voice he hopes doesn’t pitch or waver. He can’t see Mingi right now. His hair is messy in the reflection of his DS and if his ears turn red in front of his relatives he might have to lay down on some train tracks. “Oppa wants to play Pokemon for just a little bit. I have to evolve my Riolu.”

"Riolu can wait!" Heejin whines, pulling on Jongho with all her strength until Jongho mans the fuck up, heart rapidly beating in his chest, and reluctantly follows her around the corner. He nearly stumbles into the room after he catches sight of shimmering scales. Heejin looks back at him as if she can tell Jongho's dropping the ball the first second of eye contact. And she's right. Jongho is dropping the ball.

The mermaid inside the wide, colorful, coral filled, glass tank before Jongho is indeed a boy mermaid, complete with a bright pink tail. His large hands press against the glass and a soft but clearly entertained smile is on his face as the gaggle of children around him excitedly crowd the tank. His sharp features paired with that expression make Jongho curse at himself for ever being put on this earth. Mingi is so boy. Like rippling abs and soft brown hair with little shells in it boy. And Jongho is so gay. 

He barely registers that Heejin is pushing him forward until the mermaid's teeth become slightly crooked and there's reminiscence of acne upon his cheekbones. Even without his glasses, he’s gorgeous and somehow, that makes it worse. Jongho is so gay. 

“See?!” Heejin says excitedly once Jongho is within arms reach of the glass. 

Mingi does a lazy flip in the large tank, tail long enough to skim the gravel at the bottom and disturb a tire sized stingray. He's just long and broad and Jongho doesn't know what to do with himself. He wants to bite his damn fist as he watches that toned torso shape into hips and thighs that are thick with muscle as Mingi goes up for air. His skin is probably so smooth under the silicone. 

Jongho can't believe he's having horny thoughts at a kids birthday party. This is a brand new low.

"Oppa," Heejin says as she pulls on the sleeve of Jongho's denim jacket. “See, I told you. He’s a mermaid." 

Jongho rolls his eyes, looking down at his sister. She’s been going through a phase where she needs to be correct and given praise for it. “I believed you, Jini.” 

“Look oppa! Look! Look!" 

Jongho doesn’t want to look. He really doesn’t. With a slow turn of his head, his eyes slowly gaze back at the glass to see a friendly smile far too close. Slightly downturned eyes, soft but dangerous. Mingi mouths " hi," before his lips quirk upwards and he places a hand over his lips. As he blows Jongho a kiss, a rush of bubbles fly from his pursed lips. 

Heejin gasps. "Look! He’s blowing bubbles!" 

Being surrounded by screaming children never fails to poke holes in Jongho's psyche, but the noise seems to fade into ambiance as the mermaid shoots him the widest, most glittering grin. He's beautiful, Jongho thinks, his palm pressing against the cool glass around the tank as Mingi begins to ascend, haloed by the rippling light of the water. 

“Gee, Jjong, is that freak kissing on you?” Jongho’s older cousin teases from the side. It’s in jest, but as the words sink into Jongho, he finds he can’t do this. 

Without missing a beat, Jongho pries Heejin’s hand gently from his jacket and completely ignores the looks the party guests shoot in his direction.

“Nah,” he says as he calmly faces his cousin. “It was just at Heejin.” 

Mingi swims down to the bottom of the tank, going to fetch what looks like a birthday tiara that has sunken into the sand. Jongho does not want to be there when the mermaid turns back around and he most certainly does not want to be there even more when Mingi eventually comes out of the tank to put that crown on Heejin’s head. 

He can’t even fully put together why the dread comes over him. Maybe it’s the attention from his family or the knowledge that there are kids standing around to witness his gay panic, but Jongho puts one foot in front of the other and walks out of the room, trying not to look over his shoulder at what he’s sure is disappointment on the face of the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. But maybe he was all wrong about Mingi in the first place. He was probably all wrong. 

He hasn’t been right in months. Why would his luck start now?

Jongho walks into what he figures he should begin to call his sanctuary, with all its green strands of swaying kelp and little silver fish, and sits heavily on the bench before putting his head down and covering his ears before the sound of the ocean makes him think he’s drowning. He drowns anyway, because why know how to swim when the water will just swallow you up anyway?

“Hey!” a voice hails Jongho from the entrance of the exhibit, startling him from his frustration. Jongho looks up from the floor to see a head of slightly faded greenish-yellow hair, longer than the last time Jongho had seen the man that wears it. The aquarium employee is staring at Jongho hard and Jongho has half a mind to snap a what? at the man, but he bites his tongue and lets out a more polite,

“What do you need? Is there something going on at the party?” The man beacons Jongho over silently. With a poorly concealed groan, Jongho gets to his feet and pads over to the entrance. 

“Everything’s fine,” says the employee, whose eyes have fallen to his and Jongho’s shoes. Jongho once again considers snapping; so why are you talking to me? nearly escaping his lips. But he holds them shut if only because the only way this day could get worse is if he made some poor aquarium employee pissed off. “Um, so you know Mingi, right?” 

Jongho swallows the lump that beams into his throat with much difficulty. “Yeah,” he says, trying not to sound awkward but he suddenly feels like coughing and his hands are getting sweaty in a way they weren’t moments earlier. Mentioning Mingi is a dangerous game. Jongho still hasn’t found composure despite being teased relentlessly over the phone by one Jung Wooyoung. He really hasn’t found composure now after having humiliated himself over one measly underwater kiss. 

“Okay cool, you are the guy. I mean I thought as much with…” the employee mutters something to himself that Jongho can’t hear, and that only grinds his gears worse. “There's something in the back I think you should see.” 

“What is it?” Jongho asks, suspicious.

“Just go to the big tank.” 

“And what? Walk in on your mermaid?” Jongho lets slide off his tongue, harsher than he would like. The employee doesn’t flinch. 

“Yeah,” he says, matter of factly. 

“Why?”

“Because… don’t you want to, like, talk to him?” 

Jongho runs a hand over his face, feeling the frustration leaking out his pores, but he’s twenty years old. He can’t pull a Heejin and start kicking and screaming when his emotions get too big and confusing to understand. He just has to grin and bear it. 

“What do you know?” he says dryly and the employee’s face somehow becomes even more emotionless. Jongho didn’t know it was possible to give such a thousand yard stare. 

“Me and my boyfriend have been dating for six years,” the employee says, pushing Jongho’s shoulder and Jongho is so shocked he moves easily under the guiding hand. He’s led towards a door hidden in the wall. It’s painted a dark color to match the rest of the room’s aesthetic, but there’s a sign on it that says Employees Only . Jongho feels like maybe he should stay that way, but the man behind him has produced a key from his belt and shoves it into the knob of the door, still holding Jongho tight. “It’s good to talk to people you like and not run away when they flirt with you,” the man says firmly. “Alright?”

Jongho just stares at him when the door is opened. There’s truth to his words—and Jongho supposes, experience as well. He’s stubborn, but he’s not stubborn enough to not feel some shame enter his system when the employee mouths go and waves him through the door. It’s shut without a moment to spare and Jongho is left gaping at the door, wondering if he should’ve asked the man’s name or at least introduced himself or something. Passivity never helps anything, but somehow it got Jongho here, inside the underbelly of the aquarium. 

“Fuck,” utters Jongho, and the word comes from deep down in his very soul. 

He’s self aware enough to know he could just walk out of the room, leave the aquarium, and drive his mother’s Rezzo back to where he came. He could never step foot in Uljin aquarium again. He could wallow in bed for weeks with his unevolved Riolu and be miserable because he let a mermaid named Mingi slip through his fingers. He could do all that and it might be easier than what he’s about to do. Just in case he can’t be honest, Jongho thinks he might as well have an excuse. He tests a few in his head as he passes through the back hallways of the aquarium, its lighting sterile, walls white, and the humm of machinery echoing throughout. His footsteps are clear against the grey tile that lines the floor. The scene is liminal at best, somewhat unsettling at worst. 

I need to pee? No. I got lost? That’s stupid. Your coworker—the one with the green hair, yeah, him—he said I could plug in my DS back here. They’re all bad excuses

As Jongho passes by rooms labeled with tanks, there's not a staff member in sight. Jongho’s only seen Mingi and green haired guy working here, along with the girl who sells tickets, but he hurries his pace, not wanting to bump into anyone else. With quick strides, Jongho takes lefts and rights until he finds an open door. There’s the distinct gurgle of water coming from inside, a few stairs leading up to what Jongho assumes must be the survey room for a tank. His heart sits in his throat. This has to be the big tank. 

There’s a long shadow on the back wall, moving with little grace like a human would and Jongho approaches with caution, not wanting to lose his footing as the stairs become wet with condensation. He holds on to the ever-steady railing and makes his way to the platform suspended over the tank. 

Right away, Jongho can tell he’s found the right place.

And that’s not because he spots brown hair and a wide back dripping water. There are other context clues; like the size of the tank beneath him, and the plaque on the wall, which Jongho chooses to look at in a panic as he realizes what he’s walked in on. 

There’s a nude mermaid in front of him. Buck nude. No pink tail, no underpants, only a pair of black neoprene socks. His ass is bare in the humidity of the room and Jongho feels similarly exposed watching him. Like he’s the one who’s been caught with his pants down. But he’s not nude, he’s just a pervert. 

Jongho’s heart sinks into his ass as he takes a step backwards on the metal stairs and his sneakers make a distinct clunk , alerting Mingi of his presence. The man turns around, head whipping to the side as his body follows and if Jongho wasn’t a pervert before, he certainly feels like one when the man’s dick comes into view. Jongho’s jaw clenches as the mermaid’s dick hits his thigh with a wet slap, long and thick with a set of balls behind it to match. And Jongho just stares before flicking his eyes up to Mingi’s face. 

“Oh,” the mermaid lets out, seemingly not registering the gravity of the situation or the fact that he is in the nude. The shade of his cheeks don’t match Jongho’s, free from blush as a grin crackles onto his features, wide and crooked. He squints in Jongho’s direction and Jongho feels known. “Jongho? What are you doing here?”

Jongho is sure he’s allergic to embarrassment by the way his throat swells and he struggles to answer. “I was- um. I was looking for…” he forgets how to say a place to charge my DS. “You.” 

Mingi’s grin widens, his eyebrows shooting up as if curious. Jongho’s eyes stay glued to that grin as the mermaid takes a few steps forward, looming over Jongho’s position on the stairs. His dick is impossible to ignore like this—not so close that it’s in Jongho’s face, but right at his eyeline. Jongho also takes note of how clean Mingi seems to be waxed. Not a speck of body hair anywhere. It’s somewhat uncanny and Jongho just wants to touch– “Me?” Mingi asks, looking around the room as if anybody is there who Jongho could possibly be referring to and Jongho bites his tongue so as not to say; No, the fish.

“Um,” Jongho chokes. “Yeah. You.”

Somehow, nudity seems to fit Mingi better than an aquarium polo and a pair of chunky glasses. New confidence emanates from him that Jongho isn’t sure was there at all when they first talked. It’s like his personality has undergone a complete 180. It’s in the way his gaze rakes down Jongho’s body and the way he runs a hand through his damp hair, slicking it back. He had been forward in the tank as well, with all the bubble blowing and– 

Jongho stops himself there before he explodes on site. 

“Did you like my show or just want better company?” Mingi drawls with enough bravado to cause Jongho to steel himself like a telephone pole in a hurricane. In all his egotistical glory, even with the winds that aim to sweep Jongho off his feet, the mermaid seems unphased. Jongho can’t stand it. 

“Can you, like, put pants on? Do you have pants?” Jongho spits and Mingi flushes—which looks good on him. There’s a scramble for the towel that lies adjacent to a discarded pink silicone tail. As Mingi turns back to Jongho, he wraps the off-white towel over his waist, a muddy red coloring his cheeks, down his neck, and ending on his chest, which is toned in a way that makes Jongho once again stare at the plaque on the wall that states the liter measure of the tank. 

“I’m so sorry,” 

“No, it’s fine.” It’s not fine.

“I just totally flashed you. That’s so… I’m so sorry,” Mingi rambles in a deep voice that doesn’t match the shyness of his features. Jongho thinks he prefers this flavor of embarrassed Mingi over his confident mermaid alter ego. 

“I’ll live,” Jongho tells him, despite how close he feels to passing out, falling in the tank, and making Mingi dive in to rescue him. Jongho taps the joint of his thumb as silence falls over them, eye contact not daring to be made. 

It’s Mingi who musters up the nerve to speak first. “Let's just go to the locker room,” he suggests. “I need to get my tail back on anyway so Yeosang can roll me out to the party.”

Jongho’s DS weighs heavy in his pocket as the humidity of the back areas cause him to shuck his jacket, but he leaves the flannel on for modesty’s sake. Modesty is clearly not the name of the game for Mingi. 

The man is confidently a few steps ahead of Jongho, back still shining with droplets of saltwater. Jongho can trace the lines of muscle with his eyes and it’s driving him a little crazy. The silence between them is not unbearable like Mingi’s physique, but Jongho doesn’t feel particularly at ease in it, and by the tension of Mingi’s shoulders, he’s sure the other man feels similarly. When Jongho agreed to follow Mingi to the locker room, he really hadn’t known what to expect. At the very recesses of his mind, Jongho hopes the privacy may allow for a decent conversation and maybe that promised Pokemon showcase. Even further back lies the idea that Mingi might make a move. 

But why would he?

“Your sister wasn’t kidding about the birthday party,” Mingi says, his deep voice echoing across the hall. It pairs with the slapping of his neoprene booties against concrete. His tail flops against his side, having been tucked under his arm, and it leaves a trail of water behind it. In his other hand sits the plastic tiara that had been fished up for Heejin, and a tote bag with who knows what in it. Mingi’s grip around the straps is nearly white knuckled.

“Well, you know, she brought up doing it here and who was I to tell her no.” 

“So it was all your sister’s idea?” Mingi asks and Jongho decides it would be against his best interest to be honest.

“Yep. All her. She loves this place.” 

“What about you?” Mingi asks perceptively as they make a sharp turn to the left.

Lots of pretty things inside the glass and out , Jongho considers saying for a moment, but he’s not brave enough to flirt like that. Not without a bottle of soju in him first, then there could be some varying results. “It’s nice here,” Jongho instead says rather plainly and Mingi hums, pushing his shoulder into a door and holding it open for Jongho to pass through. 

The aquarium locker room is small, but holds two shower stalls, a bench, and a wall of lockers, though only four of them actually have locks. It smells like the rest of the back rooms, damp and slightly fishy. Mingi walks in behind Jongho, Jongho turning his head over his shoulder to look up at the other man. 

“How much time do you have?” he asks and Mingi cocks his head. 

“For what?”

“Before you have to go out there. Heejin said you meet the kids after your show,” Jongho clarifies. 

“Yeosang will come get us when cake is finished,” Mingi explains. 

“And Yeosang is… your coworker with the green hair?” 

“Right.” 

“So…” 

“Here I was thinking you had a plan,” Mingi mutters under his breath, sliding past Jongho to put his stuff down and sit on the bench that lays in the middle of the room. Jongho feels a little affronted. He feels extra affronted when Mingi pats the bench next to him like Jongho is supposed to come and heel. When Jongho doesn’t move, and in fact crosses his arms over his chest, torn between offense and defense, Mingi gazes up at him with those pretty brown eyes. “I thought you wanted to show me your Pokemon. You have your DS, right?” The mention of the game—and of course, the sweetness of Mingi’s gaze—is enough to break Jongho’s attitude into dust. He abandons his crossed armed position and slips his hand in his pocket to pull the device out, flashing the bright red case in the light. Mingi smiles at him. “Well?”

“I can show you, don’t be annoying,” Jongho chastises, and Mingi’s smile grows as Jongho cautiously approaches the bench. Mingi still isn’t clothed, towel around his waist, and Jongho is extra conscious of how small the bench is and how little room there is between them. He sits with his ass hanging halfway off. There is nothing that could prepare Jongho for the arm that wraps around his waist to pull him in a little bit.

“Don’t be a stranger,” Mingi says, but he’s not looking at Jongho, so Jongho has half a mind to say that whatever flirting technique is being employed, if there even is one at all, is with a low level of confidence. It’s with half a mind to make Mingi a little nervous and the other half to test the waters that Jongho scooches closer til their hips are touching. He watches Mingi’s hands not know quite where to land and it helps to confirm one thing.

Song Mingi might really be gay and Jongho is currently centimeters away from being able to brush their lips together.

“Um,” Jongho stutters, his mind caught in the dish disposal, shredding any sense of conscious thought he may have before he can say words that might make sense. He opts for quiet instead. Maybe it’ll give him an air of mystery, though he’s sure he ruined that already. His DS is opened and the screen boots up, his game appearing on the screen to showcase his Pokemon Boxes and the Riolu inside, its stats pulled up in hopes that Jongho would have some idea of how to get it to turn into its evolved form. He still doesn’t know, but he tilts the DS in Mingi’s direction anyway.

“Wait, he’s so cute,” Mingi gushes at the Pokemon, and Jongho wishes deep down the man next to him was saying that about him, not the funny little bipedal blue dog on the screen.

“I think the thing he turns into looks like you,” Jongho reveals and Mingi looks at him with sparkling eyes.

“That’s the guy?”

“Almost,” Jongho says. “But basically,” he says, exiting to the main screen of the game where the grass waves and his little 2D character is able to walk around. “You just kinda walk around in this grass,” the screen lights up, a signal that Jongho has found a Pokemon to battle. “And you fight other guys.” A Floatzel pops up on the battle screen, and Jongho exits to the battle menu to pick a move for his Riolu to execute.

“So it’s just fighting?” Mingi asks and Jongho shrugs.

“It’s a lot of fighting,” he says as he pushes the button for brick break and watches his Riolu deal damage. “But you can catch the Pokemon too.” as the Floatzel takes its turn, Jongho continues to explain. “It’s a bit of a strategy game, because you can battle other people, but it’s also just muscling your way through. It’s mostly about catching Pokemon, I think anyway. It’s fun to see all the different ones they have.” Once he’s explained the goals of the game, he tosses a Pokeball at the Floatzel and holds his breath as it locks the Pokemon inside it.

“So that one’s yours now?” Mingi asks and Jongho looks up to find that Mingi is mere centimeters away from his face. Jongho’s eyes unceremoniously flick down to Mingi’s lips, then back up to Mingi’s eyes, where he finds that Mingi is also looking at his lips. Just with a far hungrier expression. 

“Yeah,” Jongho breathes out, his voice barely above a whisper. Mingi’s so close Jongho can smell the salt on his skin. 

“You’ve been coming to the aquarium a lot,” Mingi hums.

“Yeah.”

“Any particular reason?” 

Jongho’s laugh is awkward. “Um, you know.”

“I might. Why’d you walk away during my show?” Mingi asks, head tilting as if he was preparing to move; to kiss Jongho. Jongho scrunches his eyes shut. 

“Got embarrassed.” It falls from his mouth without much thought behind it, but Mingi gives a thoughtful hum instead of  pushing him away. “Didn’t want my family to see…” 

“So if I kiss you now…?” 

Jongho takes a deep breath. “I won’t go anywhere.” 

Mingi’s lips are a little chapped and taste of the sea as he gently presses them against Jongho’s own. Jongho lets himself melt into the kiss, reaching up to steady himself on Mingi’s bare shoulder as he turns his head for a better angle. Mingi’s big hand comes to rest on Jongho’s waist, holding Jongho with reverence. It’s not a long kiss, only seconds, but Jongho feels his heart sing in his chest as their lips part in sync and they both pull back. 

“So you also kiss boys,” Jongho exhales, feeling the way Mingi’s hand tightens on his side. 

“Only when they talk to me about their nerdy video game interests.”

The conversation doesn’t last past that, as Mingi’s eyes are still hungry and Jongho’s mouth could use someone to stop it from running. They find themselves crashing back into each other like waves upon the beach. It’s gentle, the way they kiss, but there is wanting behind it. Adrenaline makes Jongho’s heart pump, and he lays his hand across Mingi’s chest to find that the other man has succumbed to similar symptoms. Jongho is surprised at how easy it is, how comfortable Mingi’s skin is under his fingers and how plush his lips are. Mingi makes a little grunt and Jongho feels the noise reverberate through him, making him sigh into the kiss and look for more. Minutes are condensed by their exploration of each other and when Mingi parts, breathing heavy, Jongho is disappointed. 

“I need to get my tail on,” Mingi says as he wipes his lips with the back of his hand and Jongho blinks at him, having nearly forgotten what brought him to the aquarium today with all the other fishy business he’s been wrapped up in. “But this is nice.”

“Right, yeah,” Jongho says as he snaps back into the present, suddenly feeling very stiff. “Do you want me to stand facing the wall or anything?”

Mingi laughs at that. “I mean you’ve already seen my dick. If you want, you can show me more of your Pokemon while I get ready. Only if you want. If facing the wall is better, that’s fine too.” 

Jongho might be able to stomach seeing Mingi in the nude again, if only because he knows where not to look this time. 

Mingi busies himself by going to lay his tail across the ground and Jongho puts his attention back towards his DS, which sits open, still in his hand, asking if he wants to give the newly caught Floatzel a nickname. Jongho says no, prepared to go back to the overworld, but his Riolu appears on the screen. 

“Oh my God,” slips out of his mouth.

“What?” Mingi asks. Jongho stands, going over to Mingi as the evolution animation starts. “What’s happening?” 

“Shut up, shut up,” Jongho hushes him as he puts the screen in between them. Lights dance around the Riolu and its form begins to flicker. “I’ve been waiting for this for so long.” 

“Waiting for–” Mingi pauses when Lucario appears on the screen and it lets out a battle cry. Congratulations! Your RIOLU evolved into LUCARIO! “Woah,” Mingi says. “Wait, is that the guy?”

“Yeah,” Jongho says, feeling breathless. 

“He’s so cool. You think I’m cool? Even after I told you about starfish and wore a pink silicone tail?” Mingi says and Jongho rolls his eyes. 

“You’re fine I guess.” 

“ Hey, ” scolds Mingi as Jongho clicks on his DS, allowing Lucario to learn its new move. Then there’s a pair of lips against his cheekbone. Jongho freezes, looking up at Mingi, his fingers go to hover over the spot. “Congratulations,” Mingi says.

Jongho puts his DS aside, grabs Mingi’s face, and kisses him on the damn lips. 

🪸

Jongho’s excuse for helping wheel the mermaid out to meet Heejin after cake is because they needed an extra set of hands. Nobody questions it. His mother is too stressed about Heejin and her friends causing chaos to notice the glances shared between her son and their aquatic guest of honor. She puts two and two together later that week when Mingi arrives at her doorstep saying he’d been invited for dinner. 

It’s hard to see time spent in Uljin as meaningless when Jongho’s aquarium visits become free and more frequent. It’s easy to see making a return to Seoul when Mingi mentions his own attendance at Hanyang University and the break he decided to take from schooling. 

“Why Uljin?” Jongho had asked him as the weather warmed, spring peeking from around the corner. They sat on the docks together, Mingi’s fishing rod discarded in favor of watching Jongho replay Pokemon for the third time. 

“It felt right. That, and the aquarium was hiring. Maybe I knew I’d meet you.” 

Jongho doesn’t pretend Mingi isn’t cheesy, but he likes that about him. He even likes when Mingi tries to goad him or declares that Heejin is his favorite Choi sibling after chasing her around outside. He likes the way Mingi smiles and talks and listens and jokes. He likes how Mingi’s confidence flips depending on his attire. Mermaid Mingi is a playful menace and glasses Mingi has more to say about shark biology than Jongho even knew existed. Jongho likes that he has those sides to him, but his ability to provide excitement in Jongho’s days remains the same no matter his attitude. 

Jongho’s family has always been in Uljin. No matter what, they would be there for him. They would love and support him, unquestioned. But sometimes it takes the addition of something new to make home feel like home. It takes mutual understanding to find comfort in what should be comfortable. A spark can only ignite with a little bit of effort and Jongho thinks it was worth it to try and make his time in Uljin well spent. He’s sure the pink-scaled mermaid who’s taken to holding his hand would agree.