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Jayce eases back against the lumpy cushions of the couch that stands in the center of Viktor's basement. The bottle of beer he's holding hangs limply in one hand as he breathes in the smell of dust and the shitty orange scented diffuser he has placed on the coffee table in front of them. Viktor melts into the couch beside him, one leg to his chest and the other across Jayce's lap.
His hand absently rests against Viktor's ankle.
They're both halfway to drunk, a pleasant flush warming their cheeks and making them loose-limbed. The tinny speakers of Jayce's phone plays a love song from a radio station his fuzzy brain cant grasp ahold of. But he knows the lyrics, so his head rolls across the back of the couch and he looks at Viktor, smile parting as he sings along.
"You're beautiful... You're beautiful, it's true." Jayce croons, his words softening and slurring as they're said. Viktor's resulting look is one stuck between embarrassment and disbelief. It makes Jayce grin. "I saw your face in a crowded place," he brings his beer to his lips and drinks, missing the beginning of the next line and rushing to make up for it "and I don't know what to do... 'cause I'll never be with you."
Viktor swats at his shoulder, but the action is fogged. He laughs and shakes his head. "Have I ever told you that you have the singing voice of a dying monkey?"
"You haven't." Jayce grins and puffs out his chest. "Thank you."
"That wasn't a compliment." Viktor looks at him and a wrinkle in his nose distracts Jayce.
Time starts to pass by them again, silence falling and the radio blurring into background noise as they sit and stare at the old family photos Viktor only keeps down here. Photos of parents and a small child, only ever the three of them, smiles wide and each of them too thin for Jayce's liking.
Noticing where Jayce is looking, Viktor sighs and curls against the back of the couch, both legs across Jayce's lap. Jayce slides so he's folded over them, head resting on Viktor's lap. His empty beer bottle is removed from his hand and tossed gently to the floor. Viktor's hand cards through Jayce's hair and Jayce closes his eyes, relaxing into the soft material of Viktor's sweatpants.
"It's all we have left of my mother." Viktor starts. Jayce nods into his lap, nose digging into the flesh of Viktor's left leg. He's heard this story before, but only in situations like this; where Viktor's drunk enough to become loose lipped and the light is low enough to have plausible deniability on the tears that mist his eyes. "She left after my tenth birthday, packed up her stuff and left." Jayce thinks that this weighs on Viktor more than he lets on, that every day for a week after the first Birthday they shared together, Viktor reached out to talk first and would be more skittish than normal if he didn't respond in the next hour. They didn't really celebrate his birthday to the same extent after that.
A harsh breath breaks Jayce out of his thoughts as Viktor continues. "She took everything that isn't down here. Every photograph that didn't contain him. Left me..." His finger curls some of Jayce's hair around it and he tugs at it mindlessly. It doesn't hurt, so Jayce doesn't say anything. "I found her ring sat in a pawn shop window the next day on the walk to school. I wanted to buy it just to have something of hers. But I didn't get an allowance and we couldn't spare the fifty bucks just to keep something of a woman who didn't want to keep us."
Jayce takes his cue to turn so he's mostly on his back, carefully lifting Viktor's leg so his bad one rests over his shoulder, heel of his foot pressing against his stomach. He reaches up and cups Viktor's cheeks, directing him to look down at him. "I want to keep you."
"You're drunk." Viktor argues weakly. A tear falls from his eye and onto Jayce's cheek. He lets it run down his skin. Jayce smiles knowingly. The low orange light of the basement diffuses against his skin, giving his pink cheekbones more warmth and life than Jayce normally has ever seen.
"You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen." Jayce's thumbs caress the corner of Viktor's lip and the curve of his cheekbone. Viktor's face crumples and he bows forwards, head almost touching to Jayce's chest as he shakes. His hands move through molasses in the air to trace the side of Jayce's face, thumb of one hand following down the bridge of his nose.
"Please don't leave me. Don't go." He whispers, eyes squeezing shut. "At least until the sun comes back up."
Jayce doesn't mention that it's winter and the sun barely peeks above the horizon until ten in the morning. He nods against Viktor's palm, leaning into it. "Of course."
He'd stay forever if he was asked.
—☆☆☆—
Summer comes and the cab of Jayce's dad's old truck is uncomfortably warm. They drive down the long road, Viktor's hair still feels grainy with the sand that dislodges itself as the hot breeze comes through the open window. Jayce's fingers tap against the steering wheel.
Viktor's chosen an 80s station to play on the radio. He smells like sun and salt and its not unpleasant. Jayce smells the same, Viktor can see how he's tanned even if his own skin is pink and he can already feel it peeling against the burns.
They do this every summer, when the lab has brief moments of not needing them in it every second of every day. They take out the truck down to the beach and spend the day lying on scratchy beach towels and getting sand trapped in places they'll never get it out. Ximena always has a freezer bag of snacks for them on these days, filled with sandwiches and fruits to snack on and enjoy their day off.
Jayce hums along to a love song that plays, an easy smile on his face. Viktor watches him out of the corner of his eye, the sky an orange and pink gradient behind his head and Jayce murmurs along with the lyrics. He's never been good at singing, but it brings him too much happiness for Viktor to ever feel any spikes of irritation at the uneven tones that Jayce usually ends up singing. It's warmer than the sun coming through the front windshield, and it turns Viktor into a puddle all the same.
The landscape around them is peaceful, filled with trees and a few hills but no civilization. Viktor prefers it when it's like this, the radio filled silence and the two of them. He relaxes into the car seat and his small smile grows into something more concrete when Jayce turns to him with a beaming smile.
"I think we should get a dog." Jayce says. The suddenness of the admission shocks Viktor into barking out a laugh.
"Do you now?" He smiles around the words and his heart swells in his chest. Jayce nods.
"Yep. Think about how well a big dog would fit in our lives." He pats the steering wheel twice. Viktor raises an eyebrow.
"I think you've got those bases covered." He smiles as Jayce sputters, cheeks reddening as the sky becomes a deep pink. Viktor wants to stay in this moment forever.
"I was just saying that I think a Labrador would be perfect. A lab dog for the lab." Jayce nods to himself and Viktor leans his arm atop the open window, his fingers hang out of it slightly, feeling the warm air rush through them. "If you hated it that much you could just say no."
Viktor hums, with a smile. "I didn't say that..." He trails off and looks back out the front window. The road stretches ahead of them and he can't see the end of it. "Jayce."
"Viktor?"
"..." He tries to put his thoughts together and fails to properly come up with what he means to say, he rests his head against his own shoulder and closes his eyes briefly. "You're like the sun."
"Oh, yeah?" Jayce sounds like he's smiling and it makes Viktor smile against the warmth of the sun ahead of them feel like living.
"Mhm. Warm."
Nothing else is said, and the cab of the truck relaxes into the staticky sound of 80s mellow love songs, warmed by the last traces of the summer sun. Jayce hums along to the next song that starts playing, drumming his fingers along the steering wheel, each tap trying to be quiet as Viktor knows that Jayce thinks he's trying to sleep.
Why would he need to? Sitting here with the familiar rumble of the engine around him and a comforting warmth in his heart, he already feels like he's in a dream.
—☆☆☆—
They were arguing.
It wasn't that often that they did argue, admittedly, but when they did, it tended to hit harder than when they argued with anyone else.
Jayce had turned up to the lab later than he had originally promised - for the third time - and evidently, Viktor had grown tired of it. They both had said some shit, and now they weren't talking at all. They still worked together, of course, they could probably still work together if they couldn't see, hear or speak to one another, but it didn't mean it stung any less.
But Jayce had promised Viktor he'd never leave without saying when he was going to be back, and he wasn't going to break that promise now. Not over something like this.
Viktor stood abruptly, slinging his back over his shoulder and grabbing his cane. He didn't look at Jayce but Jayce looked at him. He chewed on the inside of his cheek and the side of his nose curled in irritation - at exactly what, Jayce wasn't sure. He inhaled.
"I know you're going to follow me. But don't. Not right now." Viktor picked up his pencil and slid it into the main part of his bag before closing it. "Give me until tonight before you do. That's when I'll be ready to talk again."
Jayce nodded, glad to have the olive branch placed in front of him. "Okay."
Viktor turned and gave him a final look. Jayce knew he was trying to school his features, but Viktor was never really good at hiding his emotions. There was too much hurt in his expression for Jayce to bare, so he looked away.
"I'll see you later, V." He said, turning back to his work. Might as well get some more done.
A second passes, another, and then Viktor walks out of the lab.
The rest of the afternoon passes in a dissociative blur, and Jayce only realizes how much time has passed because he's squinting his eyes in order to place a screw in the side of the arm he's building. He blinks to try and clear his head to take in what he's doing, and then he stands. He doesn't clean up, they'll be back at this tomorrow when everything between them is fixed, but he does lock everything valuable away in their safe before leaving and locking up the room.
He doesn't stop back at his house before going to Viktor's. He needs to have the air cleared between them as soon as possible. Working without him feels like working with a missing limb, and he needs his limb back.
The autumn air greets him when he steps out of the truck and he doesn't quite run to Viktor's door. The door opens before he's even finished knocking, and Viktor blinks blearily. His hair is mussed from where he runs his hands through it and his bottom lip is split from how he chews at it when he's uncertain about something. He's filled with uneasy tension but when he sees that it's Jayce at the door, his shoulders relax and Jayce's heart breaks a little.
"You didn't leave."
"Of course not." Jayce shakes his head, wanting to touch but uncertain if he's even allowed to at this point. Viktor looks at him, lips parted and eyes searching. He's got tears in his eyes and Jayce offers his arms open. "I'm sorry for being late again, and for saying everything I did. I didn't mean to call you self-absorbed."
"Yes, you did." Viktor argues, tucking himself tightly into Jayce's arms, cane placed inside the umbrella holder out of the way. "Just like I meant to say that you'll never be the man you hoped you'd become."
Jayce clenches his jaw and holds Viktor tighter. "... Did you mean it?" His voice is quiet, shaky towards the end. Viktor shakes his head into Jayce's shoulder, nose pressing harshly into the gap above his collarbone.
"Of course not." His hands curl into fists in Jayce's shirt. "Did you mean that I'm self-absorbed?" Jayce shakes his head.
"No, not really. Just that, sometimes, you only look at things how you see them. Not all the time, just... Sometimes. I don't even think you are. You're selfless most of the time, possibly to a fault, it just reads as... selfish because it's almost always your way." Viktor pulls a hand up to Jayce's hair and runs his fingers through it, the tension in both of them melts away simultaneously and their grips on each other loosen.
"I'm sorry, Jayce." Viktor says, pulling away and pulling Jayce's face to look at him with a hand on his cheek. Jayce looks at him, eyes big and lips holding back a pout. "I was just irritable and annoyed that you were late again." Jayce nods, pushing his face into Viktor's palm.
"I'm sorry too."
"I know." Viktor smiles and pulls away, taking his cane back and looking at Jayce. "I've got take out by the couch, if you're staying." He walks into the front room and takes a seat on the couch. It's nicer than the one in the basement, with non-lumpy cushions and at least three throw blankets within arm's reach. Jayce sits down. The food that greets him is both of their orders, and it's still slightly steaming. He furrows his brow.
"You..." He looks at Viktor, who's pointedly not looking at him as he picks up the polystyrene container and a fork, cheeks pink. When it becomes clear Jayce isn't continuing to speak, Viktor shrugs.
"I knew you'd come back." Neither of them mention the first thing Viktor said when he opened the door, he chews his bottom lip and rubs his fork between his thumb and forefinger, eyes staying set on the container of food. "I knew you'd stay."
Jayce slowly takes the food from Viktor's hand with one hand, and the fork in the other, placing them back with the other food. He looks back at Viktor, who's looking at him in confusion. Jayce swallows and takes Viktor's hand, there's no hesitation in it.
"Can I kiss you?"
Instead of answering, relief seems to melt Viktor, who moves forward to press their lips together, free hand coming up to cup Jayce's cheek. He pushes into it, tilting his face to meet Viktor as softly.
The kiss is the warmth of the summer sun, of sandy hair and sunburnt skin. It's the carbonation in a beer, of softly and shittily sung love songs. It's everything unsaid between them.
Jayce inhales as their lips part and Viktor tugs him back in again, food forgotten and cooling in front of them.
Viktor feels like home in a person. His hands long and warm against his cheek and with his fingers intertwined with his own. He's smiling as they kiss, nothing deeper than lip presses but it feels like fireworks all the same, of sitting on the porch steps as it starts to rain, watching as stars light up the night sky. He smells like salt and oranges and dust, metal clinging to his lips from where he keeps making the mistake of thinking with screwdrivers in his hand; accidentally chewing on the drivers.
He's everything Jayce expected and so much more. Jayce brings his own free hand up to cradle Viktor's jaw, fingers brushing against where his hair starts growing at the back of his neck, tangling in the strands. He pushes into the kiss eagerly, noses squishing into one another's cheeks until Viktor falls back, half against the back of the couch, and half on the arm. The shocked, kiss-drunk, look on his face sends Jayce into a fit of laughter, and Viktor's expression breaks for his own peel of laughter.
Jayce's forehead falls on Viktor's chest and he unceremoniously flops down on top of the other man, causing a loud groan to erupt from the other man. Jayce's legs hang off the other side of the couch and he guides Viktor's legs to part around his sides, the foot of his right leg against the floor and the left wrapped around Jayce's back, heel pressing into the dip of his spine.
Viktor places both hands into Jayce's hair and scratches gently at his scalp as he guides him to look up, chin digging into his sternum but he can't find it in himself to care. Jayce sighs, eyes closed and comfortable with his hands pressed into the warm green fabric of Viktor's sweater, gently rubbing his thumbs up and down them.
When he opens his eyes, he's met with Viktor looking at him with such adoration he almost thinks he's dreaming.
"I wasn't kidding when I said you were like a dog, you know." Viktor smiles. He's quiet, almost a whisper, like this is a moment he can't bare sharing with the walls of this house he's lived in his whole life. Jayce hums a huff, smiling.
"And I wasn't kidding when I said you were the most beautiful person I'd ever seen." Viktor goes pink in response and Jayce huffs at the effort it takes to shift to kiss the mole on his cheekbone, settling back on Viktor's chest. A moment passes, and then Jayce adds on, "I do still think we should get a dog, though."
Viktor laughs and the warm undertones make themselves a home in Jayce's bones as they vibrate through Viktor's chest and into Jayce's jaw. He rests the side of his head against Viktor's ribcage and closes his eyes. He decides that he could stay here forever and be happy.
"Stay the night?" Viktor asks.
Jayce nods and burrows his face into Viktor's sweater. "I'd stay forever if you asked me to."
Viktor sounds pleased when he hums above Jayce's head, fingers drawing slow patterns through his hair. ”Stay forever, then?” Jayce nods his agreement, hold on Viktor’s sides tightening ever so slightly.
A calm silence falls between them, Jayce almost drifts off to the repetitive motions of Viktor's breaths.
Viktor suddenly groans and deflates against the couch, arms limply falling around Jayce's shoulders.
"What is it?" Jayce says, tilting his head up and opening an eye. Viktor is pouting like a child.
"You made my food go cold." Viktor complains, staring out at the food like it's a long lost love. Jayce laughs at the absurdity of it and gets up slowly, like in the time since he laid down, they'd started to become fused together and he was extricating himself. He pats Viktor's side absentmindedly.
"I'll go and heat it up. It was my fault, after all." Jayce says. Viktor gives him a half-pout-half-smile with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes and Jayce knows he's fallen for the poorly hidden trick. He finds he doesn't really mind it all too much.
—☆☆☆—
Viktor's house sits alone on a small patch of land. Its outer walls have vines growing up them and there is just slightly too much overgrowth to be called intentional. It's surrounded by trees and the fences around the property are a new addition. The old and rusting truck that sits on the side of the road is also new, no matter how much Viktor himself hates the sight of its rusty grey against the red bricks of his house.
Summer sun still shines in the back yard, though, and the bench placed there only a year ago is in the perfect spot for relaxing in the beams.
Viktor sits there now, Jayce's sleeping head across his lap. The dog curls at his feet, blond fur warm in the sun.
Their mixed laundry sits across a drying line strung across their yard, one end attached to the house and the other to the fence. Beach towels swing back and forth in a gentle breeze and Viktor relaxes, one hand in Jayce's, the other carefully carding through his hair. A smile feels like it's been a permanent resident on his face recently and he welcomes the feeling.
Jayce's hair is sun dry from his shower when they got back from the beach earlier, finally taking Blitz down to visit now that he was mostly trained off-leash. Watching them play fetch had warmed his heart more than he'd ever expect it to.
The house inside is filled with things of the both of them, Jayce's clothes in Viktor's closet and drawers and his favorite foods in his cupboards. Their notes line the spare room turned into a study, both of their collections of books in the bookcases and piled around it waiting for the new one to come in later in the week. Viktor has a shoebox of sticky notes shoved inside the bottom drawer of his bedside table of every tiny thing Jayce has left around the house as he forgets he made the notes. Half of them are directed to Viktor anyway, stupid little love notes that made him tear up in the privacy of his kitchen when it had happened the first time.
Jayce has found his spot reserved in Viktor's life and he seems dead set on never leaving it now that he's got it. He carved out the spot that Blitz fills and even if there's a part of Viktor that is still apprehensive about owning a dog and living with someone he's only been dating for a short time in the scheme of things, he gets the feeling that Jayce is being truthful when he says that he’s sticking around.
And isn't that something?