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What do you mean “missing?!” You can’t just let the holder of one of the most powerful Miraculous go about as he pleases!
Su-Han was right—not because she was worried Chat Noir would act out like Shadow Moth or anything crazy like that, but if something happened to him, and she didn’t know… well, she wouldn’t know what she would do.
There’s no way she could know who he was. Not until Shadow Moth was defeated, at least.
Not after Chat Blanc…
It was insane that something—someone—that never even existed (in this timeline) could haunt her every waking (and sleeping) moment. Ladybug meant what she said to Su-han: she didn’t want to lose her Chat Noir.
The obvious solution was right in front of her. Tell Chat Noir the situation. He would understand the gravity of it, and he would reveal himself to Su-han with no further issues… Then again, she and Chat have been on rocky terms as of late. He’d been wanting her to know who he is for the longest time, and so he’d probably feel dejected knowing that there was a logical reason for her to know his identity, and her rejecting it anyway. He was sensitive like that, as she’d come to learn…
“Or I could just ask him myself if you want? It’d be less dangerous that way, wouldn’t it?” Luka’s voice broke her out of her thoughts.
“No, Chat Noir will only tell if I’m the one asking.” And with good reason.
She frowned. Chat Noir didn’t know the other holders personally—let alone their identities. He wouldn’t feel comfortable revealing himself to someone else, and she wouldn’t feel comfortable if he did reveal himself at the drop of a hat to someone he hardly knows.
She felt bad. With the way things were going lately, she knew it was wrong to trick him.
He would understand. She thought. If he knew the full truth.
But he couldn’t. And that was that. Maybe in the future, when Shadow Moth is defeated, and they’ve revealed their identities, she could tell him the truth and confide in him—like normal friends. But for now, she had to make do.
(And if Ladybug was curious to experience what it would be like to fully know her partner—even if only ephemerally—then, that was her prerogative).
⎯⎯ ୨ You good to go? ୧ ⎯⎯
“I’m sorry, but I really couldn’t make it earlier.” Chat crawled down from the railing, his tone quiet—like a true cat.
Oh kwami, it was go time.
Ladybug whipped around, quickly waving. Everything was starting to feel too real. She needed some space, some air, some time—she needed to get this over with—and fast.
“Hey, no big deal! That’s the good thing about a team! It’s not just the two of us anymore!”
Chat shifted uncomfortably. “Oh… yeah. So then, why did you need me exactly?”
She turned away again. Why was I nervous? It’s not like I’m going to even remember this. Just rip the band-aid off!
“Well... actually, it’s kind of linked to what happened today. I've given it a lot of thought ever since I became guardian, you know?” She leaned down on the railing. “And I've realized that... you were right after all.” She braced herself before turning back around.
“We should tell each other our secret identities.”
She caught the moment her words processed. His eyes widened slightly, his stance rigid—as if he was holding back.
“But aren’t the secrets supposed to protect us?” He asked like he was afraid—no, worse—like he was hopeful. She grabbed his hands, looking into his eyes.
“I thought so. But when you didn't show up today, I didn't know how to locate you because we can’t communicate when we're not transformed. If something bad happened to one of us when we're not heroes, we could know about it. It would make us stronger. We'd be able to defeat Shadow Moth quicker!” At this point, she was rambling—whether to convince herself or Chat, she was unsure.
His jaw dropped slightly as she went back to the edge of the tower. She could not stay still. He followed, the heat of his body settling right next to her as his hands touched down lightly on the railing.
“So we’re doing this, for real?” He whispered.
“Yes.” She exhaled.
“Wow. Okay, you go ahead, m’lady. Guardians first.” His voice shy as he turned, opening himself up toward her. For all his bravado, she knew he was nervous—human, just like her.
She was quick to respond. Quick to avoid. “No, you first.”
“Let’s do it together?” He smiled, sheepish.
She’d imagined their reveal a thousand times over (though she’d never tell Chat that), and in every scenario, they did it together—watched as the masks slipped away while the magic stayed.
This was not one of those scenarios.
“No, I mean it. You go first. I’m… feeling kind of… awkward.” She glanced at the skyline, her heart racing.
“Fine…” Chat’s head bowed as he took a steady breath. She looked back up to him with searching eyes.
“I’m… I’m…” He stuttered—a first for Chat Noir.
But, as it turns out, this situation had a lot of firsts… Because out of all the names Chat Noir could have said, Adrien Agreste was the last one she would have expected to hear.
She gasped as her eyes quite literally bugged out. She was so caught off-guard that she nearly believed him for a moment.
While Chat Noir had horrible timing with his jokes, this was probably the worst of them all, but one when she may have needed his jokes the most. The uncomfortable tension left her body as she let out a completely inappropriate laugh.
Because really, it was utterly ridiculous!
“And I’m Audrey Bourgeois!” Ladybug gestured in mocking fashion before steadying herself on the railing, banging on it as she howled. Her partner’s face was completely unreadable.
He was really keeping this front up.
“You?” She pointed almost accusingly towards him. “Adrien Agreste? There’s no way! You two aren’t alike at all!" She motioned towards him, emphasizing her point.
She was still recovering from Chat’s little stunt when he did it, so when she saw the blinding flash of green, she closed her eyes instinctively.
“Claws in.”
And when she opened them, her world crumbled before her eyes. Everything she thought she knew was now wrong. Up was down, left was right, and—and—
Chat Noir was Adrien Agreste.
She thought he was talking, but she wasn’t really sure. It kind of felt like she was underwater where everything was blurry and a little distorted.
Her mind flashed back to a memory of Alya and her on her balcony: when Alya badly photoshopped a black super suit with a bell and cat ears onto Adrien, joking that he “kinda looked like Chat Noir.” Marinette denied it as vehemently back then as she did just now because the idea was inconceivable. Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir. Pft!
Another one: right before they faced Kwamibuster when Marinette found out Tikki and Plagg had been caught in Mme. Mendeleiev’s classroom. Tikki tried to convince her otherwise, but she couldn’t stop thinking about who Chat Noir was, and she was sure he had to be one of the boys in her class. That, in itself, came as a shock. She thought she didn’t know Chat Noir in real life—or that, maybe, she had helped him at the bakery a few times. A stranger with blond hair, an infectious grin, and dimpled cheeks. How wrong she was… not only was he one of the boys in her class, he was the boy. She knew him in real life, and she had helped him at the bakery numerous times! He did have blond hair, an infectious smile, and dimpled cheeks, but he had so much more than that too. She knew Chat Noir much more intimately than she thought she did… but then, with this new information, she had to reconsider if she really knew him at all.
“…What about you?” His soft voice broke her out of her dazed thoughts. Her eyes refocused on his. Eyes she stared at for hours. Eyes she drew to accompany soft smiles and delicate lashes. Eyes with pupils that were the exact same shade of chartreuse as her partner’s sclera.
Green eyes… and your smile makin’ me feel like
She was frozen, still processing, when Luka’s voice disrupted her thoughts. She forgot this was a mission, and Luka was listening in to their every word. Even though she wasn’t the one revealing herself, she too felt exposed now. She frowned.
“Ladybug, I heard his name. Shall I rewind?” She had to answer them both, but she wasn’t ready to make a decision. She knew there was something important she had to remember, but she couldn’t quite grasp it when Adrien Agreste was staring at her like she hung the moon and stars.
“No—wait, not—not yet.” She blinked rapidly, shaking her head. Was this real?
His face crumpled slightly as he looked to the ground.
“I understand.” And of course he did because this was Adrien—this was Chat. Probably the most understanding people person in her life. He continued talking, presumably to fill the silence.
“It's never easy to show your true self to someone. You'd wonder what the other person would think of you, if they'll like you. It's hard for me, too, you know? My heart's beating so fast, I've waited for this moment for so long! Imagine the stories that I have come up with when you saved my life as Adrien, or when you wanted to give me another Miraculous!”
Another miraculous… Aspik! Oh my kwami, he really accepted the Snake miraculous, didn’t he?
In retrospect, she should have known Adrien was Chat Noir—only her stubborn Chat would try nearly 26,000 times to save her.
“…It was awful having to hide Chat Noir from you. I'm so glad I don't have to do that anymore! I hope you're not too disappointed. But whoever you are behind that mask, you'll always be the most amazing person in the world.”
Gobsmacked. Dumbfounded. Bamboozled.
Those were the only words she could think of to describe how she was feeling at the moment. Adrien Agreste just told her she’s the most amazing person in the world. Scratch that. Adrien Agreste thinks she’s disappointed? She had t—
“Ladybug! We’re almost out of time!” Luka’s voice rang in her ear, snapping her back to reality once again.
Adrien looked at her patiently—he always did, like Chat. Her heart ached, and her head spun, and there was something in the back of her mind warning her not to, but she was often impulsive when it came to matters of the heart.
“I am… Ma-Ma-Mari… madly awkward!” She blurted out.
And how peculiar was that? It appeared that her tendency to chicken out in front of Adrien now applied to Chat as well…
“Take all the time you need. I’ll wait 'til you’re ready. Besides, now that you know who I am, you know where to find me!” He responded earnestly with a grin that made her weak.
“Uhh right! I’ll take my think to time—uh—er—” She shot him finger guns.
Finger guns.
Oh god. She turned around, biting her tongue before some more nonsense—like a love confession—spilled out.
“See you sooner!” And like the Ladybug she truly was, she leapt off the Eiffel Tower and flew off.
⎯⎯ ୨ I know something now, know something now I didn’t before ୧ ⎯⎯
“What made you change your mind?” Luka asked, probably confused as to why she had such a reaction to Chat Noir’s identity.
“I…guess I’m just curious to see what happens…after that” She looked down, conflicted.
“But you said it was too dangerous to know his identity.” Luka said hesitantly.
She knew he was right, but… this was unprecedented.
“As long as Chat Noir doesn’t know who I am, it’ll be okay. And I’m gonna make sure of that, starting with Grand Master Su-Han.” She responded definitively.
⎯⎯ ୨ And let me know that it’s not all in my mind ୧ ⎯⎯
After telling Grand Master Su-Han the news—which didn’t seem to phase him at all—Ladybug dropped back into her room through the skylight. She was about to detransform, but she needed a few moments to herself before facing Tikki.
Tikki! Tikki knew! She knew Adrien was Chat Noir, of course she did! This whole time…
“Spots off.” Marinette sat up immediately, catching Tikki in her hands. Tikki met Marinette’s stare with a nervous glance.
“Marinette… say something! What exactly happened?” Tikki prodded softly. Marinette threw her hands up without warning, scoffing as she laid back down.
“Oh, like you don’t know, Tikki! Adrien is Chat Noir!” Marinette shouted, a little louder than necessary, considering her parents were asleep downstairs. Tikki floated up to her holder, settling on her chest.
“Well yes… I know that, but why do you? That wasn’t part of the plan, was it?” she responded, her voice still soft.
Marinette sat up abruptly once more, catching Tikki in her hand as she pointed an accusatory finger. “Aha! So you knew!”
“Of course I knew, Marinette! You and Adrien have detransformed in front of each other numerous times, not to mention Mister Bug! This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you.” Tikki remained calm as her holder began to freak out.
“How would this not come as a surprise to me? Adrien Agreste is Chat Noir! How is that even possible?” Marinette held her face in her hands. Tikki opened her mouth to say something but was stopped by Marinette’s hand.
“That was a rhetorical question.” Marinette shook her head.
She got up from her loft and climbed down the ladder. Turning on her desktop, she nearly screamed—then sighed.
Adrien Agreste. With hearts. As her screensaver. Cool.
Quickly pulling up a search browser, she went to the LadyBlog, pulling up the Chat Noir section and clicking on the Media. Minimizing that tab, she opened another one and dragged it to the side. Then, she searched up Adrien Agreste and went to Images. She sat back in her chair and stared.
“What are you doing?” Tikki settled behind her keyboard, munching on a cookie.
“Side-by-side comparison.” Marinette mumbled as she bit her nails.
She scrutinized each picture in great detail. Both Adrien and Chat had blond hair—she knew that—but Chat’s was a little longer, more untamed. She already knew they had the same color eyes. Their face shape, of course, was the same sharp jaw with a more pronounced roundness in the apples of their cheeks—something she would fawn over when Adrien flashed her a smile. From what she could see of Chat’s nose, it had the same straight, slightly upturned bridge as Adrien’s. And their lips… She felt herself starting to blush as she stared at their lips for too long.
Yep! Same lips too! Don’t need to check that! I know what they look like!
Marinette violently pushed herself away from her desk, nearly falling on the floor when the realization hit her.
I know what they taste like too…
She opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out.
I kissed Adrien! Oh my god, I’ve been wanting to kiss Adrien for the longest time, and I already have twice.
This time, she shrieked before Tikki handed her a pillow to scream into.
I’ve kissed Chat Noir who is Adrien who is Chat Noir, and I’ve been wanting to kiss Adrien who is Chat Noir who is also Adrien which means I’ve been wanting to kiss Chat Noir (who is Adrien!)
She imagined her partner grinning slyly, teasing her if he ever found out, but then again, he was Adrien! Adrien wouldn’t tease her like that… would he?
She remembered the times Adrien leaned into her space, putting an arm around her or cracking a joke. Then she remembered how he always drew back almost immediately when he noticed her malfunctioning more than usual. She supposed he did act a bit Chat Noir sometimes, but not around her.
Marinette frowned. Who even was he?
She recalled her interactions with him as Marinette. Chat Noir flexing his muscles, Chat Noir leaning against her doorway, Chat Noir calling her Princess and Little Lady … That was all Adrien. Adrien’s cockiness and swagger, Adrien’s—dare she say—flirting? Marinette turned red once more, shaking her head.
And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies, the beautiful kind
It was Adrien who confided in Marinette about his love for Ladybug. It was Chat Noir who missed the ice-cream hangout with their friends. It was Adrien whom she confessed her love to out of necessity and fear of her identity getting revealed… and it was Adrien who rejected her—for her.
She closed her eyes, rubbing them hard as she stood up, pacing across the floor.
It was Adrien whom she saved with a true love’s kiss on Valentine’s Day. And oh god, no… It was Adrien whom she practiced her confession for him on!
He probably thinks I’m a joke!
…And it was Adrien whom she called a joke!
It was Adrien whom she threw in the trash can. It was Adrien whose advances and obstinate flirtations she rejected. It was Adrien who annoyed her when he cracked puns at inconvenient times. It was Adrien who renounced his Miraculous in New York.
And I was the one who fought for him to be there!
It was Adrien who roamed the rooftops—even when it wasn’t patrol—and climbed the Eiffel Tower and sang Disney songs and stupid jokes from the top of it. It was Chat Noir who had a strict schedule and demanding father. It was Chat Noir who received little to no attention at home—and sought it in Ladybug—her. It was Chat Noir who was homeschooled his whole life before starting school this year—and having the role of a superhero dumped on him at the same time. It was Chat Noir who had a bunch of extracurricular responsibilities—it was Chat Noir who she thought wouldn’t understand how stressed she felt as Ladybug.
Marinette covered her mouth as she racked her brain for more memories.
It was Adrien who lost his temper and isolated himself when she kept secrets. It was Adrien who destroyed the world and split the moon into two in another timeline.
She gasped, tears filling her eyes, pushing that to the back of her mind. She really couldn’t handle re-examining that event with this new information in mind—not yet, anyways.
She shut down her desktop before climbing up the loft, staring glumly at a picture of Adrien on her picture board. Tikki attempted to lift her mood, unaware of Marinette’s inner turmoil.
“This is wonderful! Since Chat Noir is in love with Ladybug, that means he’s in love with you! You and Adrien can finally be together!”
She didn’t understand Tikki sometimes. Tikki was always so persistent on keeping her and Chat’s identities a secret, but now…
“It’s not that simple, Tikki.” She sighed, grabbing the picture of Adrien from her board and lying down on her bed.
“I’m in love with Adrien…” The words didn’t feel right in her mouth anymore, but she stuck to what she thought she knew… “But I’ve never been in love with Chat Noir!”
… Again, perhaps she didn’t know much.
She imagined being in love with Chat Noir as a kind of concept. She never really considered it—she had no reason to! She was in love with Adrien, and besides, a relationship between superheroes just wouldn’t work—it wasn’t practical. The hypothetical relationship she had imagined with Chat Noir was a silly little thing she wrote about in her diary. Something hidden between the pages detailing their friendship and the roses he’d gifted her and the kisses they’ve shared—it was her first kiss, of course she had to catalog it! But it was nothing real or worth sharing with anyone. She knew her responsibilities as a superhero, and dating Chat Noir was not one of them—in fact not dating Chat Noir was one of them after fighting Chat Blanc. Besides, she thought she had learned her lesson about thinking of romance as a superhero after what happened with Master Fu…
And oh my god, I was jealous of Kagami for making a move on Chat Noir! This could not be real—is my love even real? They say to know someone is to love them—he said that about himself once—but maybe I don’t know him at all!
Even after recollecting her memories of him—both hims—she struggled to reconcile them as one person… like… in chemistry, with oil and water! She barely remembered this experiment because Adrien was sitting behind her in class, and so she was hyper aware of every movement she made. But she remembered Kim aggressively trying to mix the oil and water, exclaiming that he’s “got it this time” and that “polar molecules got nothing on these guns” while Max just shook his head, waiting patiently for the liquids to separate.
There was no patient waiting for Marinette. She had compartmentalized her memories of Adrien Agreste and her memories of Chat Noir into two separate portions of her brain. Now that she tried to re-evaluate her mental filing system, it was like she had opened Pandora’s box. Memories, interactions, thoughts, feelings, dreams… they flew around her mind wildly! And everytime she tried to grab hold of them and force them to make friends and stay together in the nice, new home she crafted specifically for them, they just became more chaotic—like their energies were uncontainable, discordant, and overall, incomprehensibly maddening.
“It’s as if they’re two completely different people!” Marinette continued, frowning at the picture. “Is the Adrien I’m in love with the fake Adrien? Is Chat Noir the ‘real’ Adrien? Who’s the real Adrien behind Adrien?!”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you ask Alya?” Tikki responded in an effort to calm Marinette down from the impending panic attack.
She sighed, pulling the picture to her chest. “I can’t.”
So much for being able to confide in Alya about her superhero stresses… It was these kinds of situations where she would call Alya up and tell her all about it. And she could, maybe, but it just wouldn’t be fair to reveal Adrien’s secret without his knowledge. She felt dirty enough doing it to Chat Noir with Luka, but that was for the greater good—at least she thought it was...
My breakdown over Adrien and Chat being the same freaking person doesn’t really qualify as a secret worth revealing for the sake of “the greater good.” Besides…
“She already knows I’m Ladybug. She can never know that Adrien is Chat Noir. It’d be too dangerous.” Marinette sighed, turning her head to the side.
⎯⎯ ୨ I’m feelin’ like I’ve missed you all this time ୧ ⎯⎯
She didn’t know when she fell asleep, but she woke up far too late, and now she was going to be late to school, again.
Great. Last thing I needed after last night.
Her mind was a blur as she mechanically went through the motions of her typical morning routine, but everything became terrifyingly clear when she burst into the classroom, out of breath, all eyes on her. Except she wasn’t particularly phased by the “all eyes” part—she never really was; all her classmates knew her for being notoriously late—it was just the one pair that flustered her (and today, in a completely new, maybe even worse manner).
Most people in the class just chuckled and shook their heads. Adrien was not most people—everytime she tripped into the classroom late, while others teased (in good nature, of course), he just gave her one of those warm, mind melting smiles. Today was no different. Not for him at least.
Rather than blush and trip over the steps up to her desk like usual, she felt the blood physically drain from her face, and she imagined she looked paler than the whiteboard Mme. Bustier had turned away from in order to acknowledge Marinette’s presence.
“Marinette,” Mme. Bustier sighed, “if you’re going to come in late, would you please do it discreetly and hurry to your seat?”
Marinette nearly jumped, bowing her head and muttering apologies as she carefully walked up the steps to her desk and got settled. Alya noticed her sickly expression, laying a hand on Marinette’s shoulder, effectively jolting Marinette up again. Thankfully, she also pulled Marinette back down before Mme. Bustier took notice.
“Girl, what’s up with you? You’re looking a little more stressed than usual.” Alya noted, concern lacing her tone.
“Nothing!” Marinette whisper-shouted, shaking her head rapidly.
“Is it about your L-erm… occupational duties?” Alya’s tone lowered as she hesitated.
Marinette fiddled with her hands, avoiding Alya’s gaze when she responded. “Well y—no. It’s—uh complicated…” Marinette trailed off, her eyes floating over to the familiar mop of blond hair in front of her before almost immediately shutting them closed.
“Or, actually, it’s not complicated at all. Just had an odd dream and didn’t get much sleep.” Marinette put on her best normal™ face, as she turned to look at her confused friend.
Alya didn’t get the chance to respond as Mme. Bustier turned to the class, introducing a new book to the class.
…
“Who can tell me who wrote I Am a Cat?” Mme. Bustier asked, opening the physical copy of the book on her desk.
Marinette rolled her eyes. Cats. Weren’t they supposed to be learning the classics? Nevermind this was the last topic she wanted to hear about and that she was supposed to be Ladybug—embodiment of good luck.
Ever the A+ student, Adrien raised his hand, answering—no, joking— “Meow meow?”
Everyone laughed. Marinette wanted to rip her hair out.
That wasn’t even funny! Nor was it even a pun! He just meowed! Who did that?!
“Or in human language, Natsume Sōseki. Sorry for the joke, Mme. Bustier.” Adrien continued, his head tilting slightly. His soft hair bounced. And then…
It grew wild and untamed—like a mane. His white overshirt turned into the black supersuit material she was all too familiar with. And those freaking cat ears sprouted atop his head!
She shook her head, desperately trying to erase that image from her mind.
Stupid cat jokes. Stupid cats. Stupid Adrien—Marinette nearly smacked her head at that last thought. What was she turning into, calling Adrien stupid?!
No it wasn’t him, she reasoned, it’s that stupid cat—oh.
It’s him. It was most definitely him. He was the stupid cat in question.
She shut her eyes and let her head fall to the desk, hoping she would wake up from whatever fever dream she was currently trapped in.
⎯⎯ ୨ And all I’ve seen since eighteen hours ago ୧ ⎯⎯
She canceled on Alya for lunch. She really just needed a nap, or maybe to catch up on what she missed during class. Taking her books out of her locker, Marinette looked down at the ground, thinking of everything and nothing when she bumped into someone.
“Gah!” She fell, tripping over her own feet. She looked up briefly to see what she guessed to be the manifestation of his bad luck onto her because why oh why did she have to bump into him?
“Sorry,” she sputtered out, averting her gaze back to the floor to gather her books, “I’m so madly awkward—I mean clumsy! I’m so madly clumsy.” She stopped her rambling when she noticed his arm outstretched towards her with a small smile.
“Don’t worry about cat—I mean that! It happens to everyone.” She froze momentarily, staring at Adrien. He looked shy, a little playful… bashful even—something she rarely ever saw on Adrien but was unwavering—and exclusively so—on Chat Noir.
So of course, like the cat he was, he creeped up on her, flickering in and out of her vision once more.
Code red! Evacuate!
So that’s what she did.
⎯⎯ ୨ All I know is you held the door ୧ ⎯⎯
Marinette was by no means a morning person, mostly because they were rushed and stressful, and she was always low on sleep. But the languid mornings when she didn’t have an alarm and could wake up slowly, naturally, to the sunlight filtering through her window—she loved those.
So when she found herself waking from a dreamless night, Tikki still cradled next to her, she took her time getting up. Stretching her arms out and yawning, it was like second nature to look at the picture board above her bed—to start off her day on a positive note by reminding herself of the reasons she got up everyday: the people she loved.
A smile naturally graced her sleepy face as she glanced over her to the photos of her favorite people but immediately dropped at the sight of Chat Noir—or rather, Adrien—taking up half the board.
(One might argue that it was in the same fashion he took place in her heart that fateful rainy day—without warning and almost unwanted, but ultimately, inevitable).
She squeaked, frustrated, confused, and angry once more, hiding under her blanket.
The morning was not off to a good start.
⎯⎯ ୨ And all my walls stood tall painted blue ୧ ⎯⎯
Marinette’s parents knew something was off. She barely looked up while eating her breakfast and said not even a full sentence to them before trudging out of the bakery, her head low. She'd have to think of what excuse to give her parents later, right now, she needed to figure out what to do in regards to her current state of mental stability. She was seeing things—or people a person—but either way, it was not normal. She had to take her mind off it all. She walked quicker, with more determination, before hitting her head against something cool. She held her arm against her head, cursing under her breath as she looked up.
I really need to start watching where I’m going.
She screamed.
Or not.
Because again, there he was, Adrien Agreste. Why was Adrien there?
Because he’s a world-famous model. Adrien is probably the most famous teenage guy in Paris aside from Chat Noir—and oh, of course, he was Chat Noir! Chat Noir was a world-famous model with looks that were deemed—not only by the general global teenage demographic, but her too—godly, who knew?
(Well Alya used to speculate that her and Chat Noir were Demigods sent from above. She put out a poll on the Ladyblog for people to vote on which Greek God the heroes would have descended from. The results were between Persephone and Athena for her, while Chat Noir had votes ranging from Hades (his suit was dark as night, he reasoned) and Ares (he was the buff, she was the brains!) to Apollo and Hermes. She remembered his laugh when Alya asked for his opinion regarding the split votes on his immortal ancestor after a quick battle. He feigned thinking for a moment and then winked, saying he always thought himself to take after Aphrodite the most. She also remembered Alya constantly replaying the clip and going on and on about how much publicity her interview with Chat Noir was giving the LadyBlog the next day at school. And if she tried hard enough, she could even remember the soft smile Adrien gave in response to Alya’s excitement—something she attributed to his kind nature. But no—odds were that the cat was practically preening at the buzz surrounding his charming little stunt.)
She shook her head and turned back around, running as far away from the advertisements as she could because what good was “out of sight, out of mind” if she saw him freaking everywhere?!
⎯⎯ ୨ All my days, I’ll know your face ୧ ⎯⎯
She breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped onto the Liberty. Marinette was excited to spend some time with her friends, and without Adrien too! His father rarely ever let him come to these kinds of things (which, well, she felt horrible about, but... she was safe for tonight).
Or so she thought until she noticed a familiar black car pull up to the docks and a hulking man open the door. Marinette practically flailed as she turned around before Alya grabbed her arm.
“Girl! I thought you worked out things with Luka?” Alya chided.
Luka? What does he have to do with—Oh.
“Uh yeah! No, I totally have, it’s just…my stomach’s not feeling the best! Too many macarons y’know?” She chuckled awkwardly as Alya scrutinized her.
Alya tilted her head, motioned to somewhere behind Marinette. And there, she saw Luka frowning slightly as he strummed his guitar.
“Oh come on girl, this is the first invite to the boat since his and Juleka’s birthday, and your guys’ talk. It wouldn’t look the best if you committed to coming and then canceled last minute.” Alya looked at Marinette pleadingly.
Alya had a point, so she took a deep breath, straightened her back, and acquiesced.
“That’s my girl!” Alya whisper-shouted, trying to hype Marinette up with a pat on her back, unaware that Luka was the least of her worries.
…
Marinette loved hanging out on the Liberty. The gentle flow and breeze calmed the raging waters of her mind. Also, sweet, high-pitched Rose cranking out solos never failed to make her laugh—how was that girl a contralto?!
This time, however, she couldn’t focus on the gentle breeze nor could she appreciate her friends’ talents. All she saw was Chat Noir. Playing the piano? Her head hurt. She had to make a list—or multiple, actually.
Which activities did Adrien do? Which activities did I think Chat Noir would do? Which activities did Chat Noir do (now that I know he’s Adrien)?
She thought Chat Noir would have been a typical alley-cat. Go out and explore places with his friends, hang around at arcades, sporting events… sure, Adrien loved hanging out with his friends and playing video games, but he didn’t really have much leisure time because of fencing… and piano… and basketball… and mandarin… and modeling! Chat Noir was a prodigy! She almost laughed because she never thought civilian Chat Noir would be so dedicated and… serious. Then again, Chat was the most devoted person she knew.
Laughter she knew all too well interrupted her thoughts as she looked up to see the boy in question letting out an unbridled laugh—something she rarely saw when he was Adrien because he was usually so reserved, so the times she did find herself in the presence of sunshine incarnate, she took a mental picture. Now, she was rethinking the need to capture such an ephemeral moment because, as Chat, he was always laughing, and it was contagious! Some of her most painful (and by painful, she meant the clutching your stomach trying to catch your breath kind of painful) laughs were with Chat on their evening patrols.
And once again, unwanted and completely inevitable, her eyes reflected the path of her thoughts—bouncing back and forth between the two one boy. She groaned silently, getting up from her seat and rubbing her eyes.
…
“I feel like you’re not hearing the same tune anymore when you look at Adrien.” Luka’s voice interrupted her thoughts.
Marinette rubbed her temples and looked out the window to see Chat Noir talking to Juleka and Rose, casually. She sighed.
“Luka, have you ever thought you knew a person really well only to find out they have a secret side to them that you couldn’t possibly imagine?”
“Yes.” Luka smiled, almost knowingly.
He probably was also shocked to find out Chat Noir was Adrien.
“And did it… completely change your way of seeing them? Like all of a sudden, everything feels strange cause you don’t really know them anymore?”
Luka glanced in Adrien’s direction before looking Marinette in the eyes.
“Quite the opposite, actually. Once I got over the initial shock, it helped me to get to know them better and like them even more.” He smiled softly at her and got up quietly, leaving Marinette alone with her thoughts.
Rubbing her eyes again, she peeked out the window, this time seeing Adrien as… himself—not like she saw him previously, though. There was a strange curious kind of idea that was growing in her mind ever since the night he was unmasked, but she had been not-so-stealthily avoiding it, instead revisiting old anxieties and making way for new ones. Maybe, with Luka’s advice, it was time to reconsider… everything.
Maybe, it’s not that I didn’t know him before, but that I know him more now.
She smiled.
⎯⎯ ୨ I just wanna know you better ୧ ⎯⎯
Marinette was restless the following Monday. This was the first patrol that they’d be doing together since… she couldn’t even remember when, not to mention this was the first patrol they’d be doing since she learned Chat’s identity. She was unsure of how to act around him now.
“Marinette, you’re gonna burn a hole in the floor.” Tikki chirped up, making Marinette take a pause from her pacing.
“Tikki, you don’t understand!” Marinette resumed her pacing. “Things have been… weird between Chat and I the past few months, and now that I have more context as to why Chat is... the way he is, I feel even weirder!"
Things changed the day she became guardian of the Miracle Box. She already knew that Chat wasn’t the best with secrets, but it was less responsibility on her when Master Fu was there. Now, she had had to make some tough decisions—not ones she had necessarily wanted to make, but ones she had felt obligated to make. She had thrown herself into her role as the guardian, spending hours late at night trying to decipher the guardian handbook. Even though she had dated Luka, she pushed him and all her other friends away, including Chat Noir. Chat, of course, had taken notice of this and tried to cheer her up—first, by flirting with her and all the nicknames, then, by seriously trying to get through to her. She would have none of it. She remembered the hurtful look in his eyes when she left without a word and dismissed his concerns. She had felt bad about it at the time, of course, but now, she felt even worse, knowing it was also Adrien she was hurting.
It was coming back to her now. Their last meet-up before Moolak was after he fought Hack-San with Alya—
Oh no.
Adrien, who had lost his mother and been let down by his father countless times, confided in her that he was scared of losing her.
Oh, mon pauvre chaton.
Marinette could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, not just for Adrien but for her too—for how she was hurting them both unknowingly, and how she should at least try to be better, communicate more.
And now, I have the chance.
Her eyes set with determination as she glanced at her phone, noting the time. Calling upon her transformation, she set out for patrol, hoping to be there earlier than him for once.
⎯⎯ ୨ Makin’ up for lost time ୧ ⎯⎯
“Ladybug!” Chat Noir dropped down beside her, his voice full of glee. She almost frowned, noticing the distinct lack of use of her nickname.
Was this a new development? When did he last call me “my Lady” or “Bugaboo”?
“Hello Chaton!” She turned around, mustering up the most genuine smile she could. She was trembling.
This time, Chat frowned. “Hey, is everything alright?” He retracted his staff, stepping closer to her. Ladybug’s pupils shrunk as her eyes widened, stepping back, almost tripping over her yo-yo.
“Er yeah!” She coughed, balancing herself. He deflated, his mouth in a straight line as he nodded.
“Okay, do you want to get started, then?” He asked, his eyes lacking the mirth they held just a moment ago.
“Wait, Chat.” She instinctively grabbed his wrist before pulling back—like the touch burned her (it did). His eyes widened and his cat ears perked up as he turned back towards her.
“Sorry, it’s just a little… awkward knowing who you are now…” She trailed off, focusing on his appearance as Chat (now that she could—in person, that was).
“Oh…” He replied, his hand reaching up to scratch the back of his head in that familiar way. The way Adrien did when he felt nervous or embarrassed… Oh no!
She quickly realized that was not the right thing to say and hastily tried to backtrack. Both her hands grabbed his arm that time, as she stepped closer. “No! That’s not what I meant! I mean it is kinda what I meant, but—” She looked up to see his confused expression and stood up straight.
“What I mean to say is… I didn’t expect you to be someone I know.” His eyes widened further at that.
“You know me?” He croaked out, eyes searching her face.
And your eyes look like comin’ home
Her eyes scrunched up as she shook her head. “That’s not what I meant! Ugh—sorry, I’m really bad at trying to get my words out. I’m the one that’s awkward.” She meant to bring her hands up to smack her forehead, but Chat grabbed hers in his instead.
He looked at her earnestly. “Hey, LB. It’s okay, take your time.”
Oh man! How am I supposed to think when he looks at me like that?
She closed her eyes again, considering her next words carefully. “Well, I mean I expected you to be a complete stranger.” Her eyes remained closed. “Like, I saved you a few times as Adrien and even tried to give you the snake miraculous—which, you know, I wouldn’t have done if I thought you were Chat Noir.” She chuckled nervously, continuing. “So trying to reconcile what I knew about you as Adrien and what I knew about you as Chat was a little…” she paused, deliberating before she nearly whispered, “Enlightening.” She opened her eyes.
He stared at her hopefully. “Oh okay…” His eyes sparked with a mischievous glint as he stepped closer to her, “and did what you find enlighten you?”
She felt dizzy—his scent infiltrated her senses and the warmth of his hands on hers made her brain short-circuit. She looked up to find a tentative gaze lingering on her.
At that moment, he was no longer Adrien Agreste or Chat Noir, but just a boy who was vulnerable and nervous—and a little kittenish (true to his alias). She took a breath.
“Mhm…” She smiled warmly. “You could say that… but I could be further enlightened with your phone number.” She teased cheekily before going stock-still, her face a deep shade of crimson that rivaled her suit.
Holy kwami. I can’t believe I just said that! I just flirted with Chat Noir! I just asked Chat Noir for his number?!
He seemed to have a similar reaction, a blush sprouting underneath his mask, his hands still. He looked away towards the Eiffel Tower, chuckling. “Wow, I can’t believe Ladybug just asked me for my phone number.” He let out in a breath, looking back at her with a grin.
She shook her head, distinctly aware of the way he still held onto her hands—more so aware of how much she liked it.
“And I can’t believe I just asked Chat Noir for his number.” She muttered under her breath.
“Does this mean I’ve—” He stopped abruptly, his grin dissipating. He cleared his throat, continuing, “um… been deemed worthy enough to communicate with the number one hero of Paris herself outside of the mask?” He smiled awkwardly.
She quirked a brow, surprised by the line. She would have thought he would have said something along the lines of her finally falling for him behind the mask.
(She already had—ages ago.)
“Nothing to do with worthiness.” She teased lightly. “Though that you are, always have been, and always will be, Chaton.” She looked into his eyes, hoping to convey her genuinity. “In fact, it’s everything to do with my being able to communicate with the best hero in Paris, outside of his mask.”
He blushed once more, looking away. “Oh o-okay, M’lady.” He stepped back from her, rubbing the back of his head again. “I’ll give it to you after patrol when I detransform.”
He smiled. She smiled back.
⎯⎯ ୨ And meet me there tonight ୧ ⎯⎯
She only realized her blunder when Tikki teasingly asked her about patrol after she got back to her room. Marinette blushed furiously at her kwami’s antics.
“Well, if you must know, Tikki, it was fine! Normal, even.” Marinette looked to her picture board, and seeing Adrien as Chat once again made her heart thump strangely, a smile making its way onto her face.
She turned over, sighing. “I got his number, Tikki.” She almost closed her eyes in bliss when—
“WAIT.” She sat up. “I already have his number as Marinette! I can’t text him as Ladybug!” She groaned.
She didn’t know why she was making a big deal of it. She never cared about texting Chat Noir in the past—she even told him off once about sending too many cat memes through the communicators they had on their weapons when transformed. Besides, she could just text him as Marinette! Though that didn’t have the shiny appeal it used to…
“Didn’t Max teach you something about disguising your caller ID under a different number or something? I still don’t fully understand modern technology, but it does fascinate me…” Tikki trailed off.
Marinette did remember that! She didn’t need to panic, there was a solution—and even if there wasn’t, she was Ladybug, she would find a solution! She’d defeated villains with vaporizing and time-travelling powers; being able to text her crush partner teammate would be a cinch!
⎯⎯ ୨ ‘Cause all I know is we said “Hello” ୧ ⎯⎯
She did not text Chat. There was nothing to say! But when the Lollipop sentimonster came back, she had no choice but to contact him. If she didn’t, then—because it wasn’t a huge threat to life and/or property and was on the other side of the city—he wouldn’t hear of the amok until after his fencing class.
It’s the professional thing to do—it’s why I got his number in the first place!
He answered after a couple of rings and showed up in less than a minute.
“The usual maneuvers, M’lady?” He leaned on his staff, flashing her a smile.
It was all work, no play, so the battle ended quickly—much to her dismay, actually…
⎯⎯ ୨ So dust off your highest hopes ୧ ⎯⎯
They were battling Syren again, and she didn’t have to call upon him this time. He showed up already transformed and ready for battle. Something about Chat had changed. He was more focused, more disciplined as a hero, and while she appreciated his dedication greatly, she missed his puns and flirtiness.
Did I just think that? Me missing Chat flirting with me?!
She nearly blushed at her thoughts. It’s just because I know he’s Adrien now, she reasoned.
But that wasn’t right at all. In fact, Chat Noir’s humor and wit were one of her favorite things about him. It cheered her up when she was tense. Not to mention the nicknames… While she used to get annoyed at Bugaboo, in its absence, she realized how much she missed it. The nickname was kind of sacred—only for her and no one else, and she nearly felt possessive over it.
Did he have nicknames for other people? Or is it just me?
She shook her head, snapping out of it when she saw Chat in hand-to-hand combat with Syren. He used his staff effortlessly, breaking the bracelet and freeing the akuma. His determination turned into pride and relief before morphing into concern for Ondine.
A smile crept up on her once again, her thoughts as wild as the unfamiliar thump of her heart—yet they all hummed in agreement at this particular idea:
This boy is… everything .
⎯⎯ ୨ All I know is a new found grace ୧ ⎯⎯
Ladybug was a bit annoyed, having to fight The Mime—in the rain, nonetheless—after cozying up in her bed. Thankfully, the battle was quick, but the rain poured down harder after. She looked up at the dark clouds when she heard a click and whoosh. Her gaze fell to Chat Noir, holding an umbrella out to her.
Several things happened at once.
The thunder clapped in concert with the lightning flashing—a camera capturing the moment she saw him… truly saw him for all that he was:
Adrien, a boy who opened up to her on the first day of school. Even after she wrongly accused and made assumptions of him, he made amends by giving her his umbrella and, consequently, his friendship. But she gave him something too, something she was foolish to think she could ever get back—her heart.
And how could one live without their heart? The short answer was that they didn’t. They floundered, breathless and dizzy without the vital organ, and that’s exactly how she was around Adrien—stuttering and tripping over her own words, making a fool of herself. The only way to survive, she figured, was to get another heart, but it couldn’t be her own—that was the rule of hearts. The logical next course of action would be to find a means to procure his heart. Of course, at the time, she was under the assumption that he had two hearts, when really, there was no shortage or surplus on either side…
They’d made the perfect switch.
You’ll be mine, and I’ll be yours
But no, that makes it sound transactional, clinical almost—when the exchange couldn’t be farther from that.
She thought of her gift to him to be a slow, timid little thing, but before she knew it, it was out of her hands, wild and eager and hoping. As for when she received his heart, she really didn’t know. She hoped he handled it with as much fervor but more composure than her—if not to let him grieve the loss of his own heart, then to come to terms with what it could mean.
She’d been set on a heart that’d been hers for so long, she didn’t even stop to think about who it was that held hers. She didn’t stop to think about the heart she kept locked in her diary ever since that fateful night of rose-adorned rooftops and melted ice-creams. The heart that beat with a purpose, a claim. The heart whose truth she mistakenly overlooked.
The heart that belonged to this dedicated, sensitive, fearless, compassionate, beautiful boy.
This boy who supported her at every turn. This boy who inspired her to become the hero she needed to be. This boy who lifted her up while also calming her down. This boy who donned a smile at every turn. This boy who she couldn’t help but fall in love with again and again… and—if the way her eyes drew him in, the way her heart sang when in his vicinity, the way her being ached at their distance was any indication—everyday henceforth.
Oh.
She wrapped her hand around the staff of his umbrella and smiled up at him, the rain forgotten.
⎯⎯ ୨ All I know is pouring rain ୧ ⎯⎯
“Well, see you next time, M’lady.” Chat said softly after detransforming, turning to walk away.
Ladybug had less than a second to make her decision.
“Wait…”
Ladybug was smart, logical, and practiced. She knew the heart was unpredictable and—despite its assumed tender nature—violent. She knew there was something, something niggling in the back of her mind, telling her to reconsider. But how could she when everything she could have ever hoped to have wanted, everything she never knew she needed was right in front of her, unaware of the madness of it all? What she felt for this boy was so strong, it transcended space and time. Something this pure could not—she would not let it—be tainted by selfishness, greed, or any other materialistic corruption, and it instilled in her a sense of confidence, fearlessness.
“I’m—I’m ready now.”
I’ll take ‘em down, take ‘em down and open up the door for you
This love manifested itself in two words. Words she said on a daily basis. Words she hoped conveyed to him the depth of her trust, her respect, her admiration for him. Just as he had poured his being into uttering two words some days prior, she would do the same tonight—the damp air and fresh petrichor their witness.
All I know is a simple name
“Spots off.”
Everything has changed.