Chapter Text
Sirius and Remus were working on a pepperup potion in Slughorn’s class, Remus preparing the bicorn horn for the concoction while Sirius tried to land small pieces of parchment in James’s hair without him noticing– a surprisingly easy task with his unruly locks and attention firmly fixed on one Lily Evans. When he finally noticed the small projectiles, he turned on Sirius with mock outrage.
“Sirius! What are you doing? You’re going to ruin the whole artfully messy look I had going on!”
“Oh, I don’t think anyone would ever call your hair ‘artful’, James” Sirius called back.
“Oi!” James sprang at him, “now you’re just adding insult to injury, you nutter!”
Sirius shreaked and spun around to hide behind Remus, grabbing his waist to put him between Sirius and James. “Moony, protect me, please! I can’t be murdered by a crazy bloke with terrible hair; imagine the headlines!”
At that Remus turned, grabbed hold of Sirius, and heaved him bodily into James’s arms. “With comments like that, it’s no more than you deserve,” he laughed, face slightly flushed.
“Exactly! I knew you were my favorite for a reason, Remus. My hair is phenomenal!” James exclaimed, now with his arm around Sirius’s shoulders, pretend anger forgotten.
Sirius would normally have protested at such a statement, but he was rather distracted. Remus had practically just picked him up and thrown him like it was nothing. Since when could he do that? Sure werewolves were naturally strong, but Remus was the tall, scrawny kid; he shouldn’t be able to do that! Except, Sirius noted, he was becoming less and less scrawny as time went on. His shoulders had become more broad, and Euphemia’s ministrations during breaks had caused him to gain a bit of much needed weight. He looks bloody fit, Sirius observed with a start.
“Sirius?” Remus called, looking at him curiously. Sirius blushed. Apparently, Remus and James had moved on while he was busy daydreaming about one of his best friends. Oops.
He cleared his throat and sauntered back to the table with false nonchalance. “Sorry, Moony. What do we need to do now, captain?”
Remus rolled his eyes and handed him the paddle. “Stir counterclockwise, which I know you already knew. Get to it, you lowly sailor.” Sirius saluted and, embarrassingly, blushed again when Remus grinned fondly at him.
A couple minutes later, Sirius found himself staring at the side of Remus’s face. He kept scrunching his nose in concentration as he chopped the mandrake root. It was unbearably cute. Unfortunately, Sirius's attention was definitely not on their potion, and the cauldron began to boil over. He yelped and lurched forward to stop it, but Remus was there before he could do anything. He grabbed the paddle from Sirius with one hand, and reached to lower the heat with the other. The movement pressed his chest against Sirius’s back. Sirius stiffened at the heat radiating against him, and his breath caught. What was wrong with him? The potion had returned to a slow boil and Remus moved away to add more of the ingredients, but Sirus was thoroughly flustered now.
Remus must have noticed his heavy breathing and wide eyes because he asked, “Are you okay, Padfoot? It didn’t burn you, did it?” He took Sirius’s hands in his to check, and he was so close, and looking at him with such worry and tenderness that it was too much. Sirius turned and sprinted out of the room.
…….
Sirius hurried through the halls until he reached the portrait hole. He slipped inside and trudged up the stairs to their room. There, he collapsed onto his bed, and could finally think clearly enough to realize how utterly unhinged his actions must have looked to everyone else.
He and Remus never messed up a potion; maybe everyone would think he had run away because he was embarrassed about that. Probably not. Ugh, and he’d left Remus behind to finish the assignment without a partner and with a probably very concerned Slughorn hovering over his shoulder. He was such a jerk.
He was also very confused. Where had these sudden feelings come from? Sure, he’d always loved Remus; they were best friends. He would do anything to make him happy, to keep his self-confidence up, but that’s what friends do; Remus would do the same things. He was always so kind and smart, but also witty, sarcastic, and fiercely protective of his friends. He would comfort Sirius when he got letters from home, even letting him have some chocolate on the worst days, and he looked so cute in his sweaters and with messy curls after a nap and–
Godric, Sirius was gone. He had somehow fallen head over heels for Remus Lupin without even noticing, and there was nothing he could do about it. He cared too much about their friendship to let a little thing like love get in the way.
“Guess I’ll just have to suffer,” he said aloud. It’s what I do best.
…….
He must have fallen asleep for a bit, because the next thing he knew the dormitory door was creaking open, and James popped his head through.
“Hey, mate,” He said kindly, “you okay? Slughorn wouldn’t let me leave to come check on you, and neither Remus or Peter have a free period now, sorry.”
“S’alright, Prongs. I’m fine… appreciated the alone time actually, I think.”
James shuffled the rest of the way into the room, and plopped himself down on the bed next to Sirius. “Do you want to tell me what happened? Did your parents send a letter again?” he questioned worriedly.
Sirius laughed a little, “Nothing like that. I’m fine, really! Just got a bit embarrassed with messing up the potion is all.” James didn’t look like he believed him; Sirius hadn’t really expected him to.
“Alright, Pads, just remember you can tell me anything.” He grinned and stood up, “wanna go raid the kitchens with me?”
Sirius, of course, followed him down, feeling a little guilty. James never pressed him to talk when he got in moods like this because usually it had something to do with his mother and father. Sirius felt bad for taking advantage of that fact now, but he couldn’t risk Remus finding out about his feelings, and James was notoriously bad at being subtle. No, he’d just have to wait until his crush went away. It couldn’t take too long, could it?