Chapter Text
Goodbye wasn’t supposed to be easy. ‘Goodbye’ wouldn’t be so damn memorable if it was easy. This particular goodbye had been the kind of goodbye that Kageyama would remember every-time he closed his eyes for weeks, maybe years. It haunted his dreams and thoughts at all hours. This was the end of high-school, the transition into something new and unknown. And goodbye had started with an argument. “Wait, what do you mean, you changed your mind?” Kageyama exclaimed, “I thought...I thought you already accepted-” It was just a week past graduation. The sun was setting. Its rays were bright orange, with purple hues dancing around the edges. This was the end. Maybe not of the world, but of the end of the way things had been for three years. Fear ran through Kageyama’s veins.
Hinata bounced nervously from foot to foot.“I didn’t change my mind Kageyama. I just, I can’t go to that college. Unlike you, I wasn’t offered a scholarship. and I uh, I failed the entrance exam. I swear I tried my hardest! I guess my hardest just wasn’t enough…,” he coughs, ”Anyways, another scholarship, close to home, popped up and I think I’d rather go there. I know you didn’t want us to separate, but, you know, it was always my goal to defeat you Tobio. This just means I’ll get my chance.”
“But we are supposed to be together,” Kageyama whined, “We’re the power duo.” Hinata shook his head, eyes meeting Kageyama’s.
“You don’t need me to be strong,” Hinata responded, “I’m sure your school will have spikers just as skilled or more skilled than me.”
“You’re making things difficult!” Kageyama snapped, throwing his hands down in anguish, “I don’t want other spikers, I want you!”
“You already have me,” Hinata said, taking Kageyama’s hands and holding them still, “You just won’t have me on the same team.” Kageyama tried to tear himself away, but the will to do so died as he saw Hinata frown. He held still, and listened to the wind pass between them. He wished he would’ve brought a heavier jacket. Spring was supposed to be warm. “I’m going to miss you,” Hinata said softly. Kageyama dropped his hands, and wrapped his arms around the shorter boy’s torso. He rested his head on top of Shouyou’s.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving,” he murmured, staring wistfully at the ground, “I’m going to miss you so much.”
“I’m not the one leaving. You are,” Hinata responded, moving a little back, taking a hand and gently moving Kageyama’s head so that his attention was on him. He got on his tiptoes, and kissed him.
“It’s not fair Shouyou,” Kageyama whispered.
“I know,” Hinata breathed, “I know.” Their lips met again. Hinata’s lips tasted bittersweet. They were chapped from the wind, but he was warm.
“Is this goodbye?” Kageyama asked.
“Don’t call it that,” Hinata said, desperately kissing him again, “Call it… See you later.” Kageyama did his best not to cry, but when he saw tears in Hinata’s eyes he couldn’t help it. “Don’t cry!” Hinata exclaimed, despite crying himself. “Please,” Hinata whispered, reaching up and wiping Kageyama’s tears away with the palm of his hand. He kissed Kageyama again, leaving a trail of soft kisses along his neck before meeting his lips again. Kageyama couldn’t help but smile at the way it tickled. They both knew that was one of his favorite feelings.
The wind had started to die down, and the sun was almost completely gone, buried beneath the horizon. Hinata broke away. “Don’t go,” Kageyama begged, “We have to make this last.”
“I have to,” Hinata said, disappointment in his voice, starting to turn away. Kageyama reached out and caught Shouyou’s wrist.
“Wait.” Hinata didn’t resist. “Is this the end?” Kageyama asked, blue eyes wide.
“No. I promise,” Hinata immediately responded, giving him a last kiss. Hinata’s hands landed on Kageyama’s shoulder and waist with surprising strength, and Kageyama held just as tightly. This kiss was the longest. Neither wanted to break it, neither wanted to let go. They knew well what letting go meant, and neither were ready for it. They didn’t want to lose the sickly sweet feeling in their stomach. Kageyama tried to memorize the feel of Hinata’s lips, while Hinata memorized the feel of Kageyama’s tongue. And then he let go, giving a small smile to his boyfriend. “Good-bye Tobio,” he said, “See you later?” Kageyama stood there silently, watching Hinata’s movement. He didn’t want to forget his ray of sunshine. “Tobio, please,” Hinata said, breaking Kageyama’s focus.
“Good-bye Shouyou,” Kageyama murmured, “Don’t forget about me.”
“How could I? You’re the best thing that’s happened to me!” Hinata responded brightly.
“R-Really?” Kageyama asked, mouth hanging open in shock.
“The best,” Hinata confirmed.
Why did I have to give you away?
Hinata walked alone down the sidewalk, getting into the car with his mother. The car disappeared, leaving Kageyama to stare at the sky. The sun was gone. The orange light had left the sky, leaving a hazy purple that made the emptiness inside him hurt worse. Tears streaked his face like the thin clouds in the sky. He walked down the street. His house was waiting. His things were waiting. He took a deep breath. He’d never liked change, but he reminded himself constantly that change is essential to growth.
It doesn’t make it any less painful.
…
Kageyama woke up to the sound of his roommate knocking his alarm clock off the nightstand. Again. “Sorry,” he grumbled. It was the third time it had happened this week. Kageyama was starting to get used to his lanky roommate’s clumsiness. It still amazed him that this kid had gotten into the same college as him. He wouldn’t say as much though, as this guy was supposed to be his spiker and that meant they needed to have a stable relationship. This guy happened to remind him of Hinata. His silver haired dorm mate was loud and overenthusiastic. He would jump when over excited. It wasn’t as cute on someone that tall.
“If you break that thing, I’m going to break your face,” Kageyama hissed, “Why don’t you just use your phone?”
“I get it, you’re not a morning person,” Lev responded with a smile, picking the clock up and plopping it back onto the stand. Hinata had once said the same thing.
…
Summer, Second Year
It was an unusual feeling, having someone laying against you in bed, keeping you warm. Shouyou’s head was lying on Kageyama’s chest. His brown eyes were open, watching the gentle motion of Kageyama’s breathing. They were both awake, but they knew moving meant cold. Kageyama’s eyes snapped open. “Ugh,” he whined, “These stupid floor beds are so damn uncomfortable, I’m so stiff.”
“Not a morning person, huh?” Hinata responded cheerfully, sitting up, taking the sheet with him.
“You dumbass, I need that!” Kageyama hissed, clutching at the cover and pulling it back down. His head hit the hard pillow, and he attempted to get cozy and warm again. He watched Hinata from the security of the blanket.
“It’s weird hearing the room this silent,” Hinata whispered, looking around, “Seeing these guys, well, still.”
“Join us,” Kageyama replied, “Sleep is nice.”
“You know that Ennoshita’s gonna drag us out of bed in a few minutes anyways. There’s no point trying to go back to sleep,” Hinata responded matter-o-factly.
“You’re annoying when you’re right,” Kageyama snapped, grabbing the back of Hinata’s t-shirt and pulling him down beside him. “But I don’t want to waste any time,” Kageyama continued. He moved the sheet so that it completely covered both of their bodies. He could feel Hinata’s hot breath against his face. He kissed Hinata clumsily, bumping into the other boy’s nose and clacking their teeth together.
“I feel like a little kid,” Hinata breathed, “‘Cept instead of playing prince in a pillow fort I’m kissing a prince.” Kageyama rolled his eyes,
“Corny,” he murmured, and started to kiss along Hinata’s neck. Around the collarbone, Hinata winced.
“That was little hard,” he whispered.
“Sorry,” Kageyama said, blushing, “I’ve never really done anything like this.”
“Really?” Hinata asked, looking genuinely surprised, “Then I’ll show you how I do it.” He started gently, leaving kisses that tickled Kageyama’s skin in a good way, and left him feeling warm. “Never thought I’d be showing you how to do something,” Hinata said, giggling.
They froze at the sound of a voice, “Please have clothes on, please have clothes on, please have-.” The sheet was pulled off, revealing the two boys lying close to each other. They each immediately darted away from the other, faces bright red. Yamaguchi breathed an audible sigh of relief. “Ennoshita was getting the first years. He told me to get you guys up,” Yamaguchi explained. He scratched at his neck, “Are you guys getting up or?”
Kageyama stood up, staring directly into Yamaguchi’s eyes, “You saw nothing,” he hissed. Yamaguchi jumped a little. From across the room they heard Tsukki shout,
“Why are you hiding it? Everyone knows you’re together.” Kageyama’s face continued to redden.
“Everyone?” he squeaked.
“Yes, everyone,” Tsukki confirmed. Hinata giggled,
“I told you it was no use trying to hide it,” he said, “They could see your gay from a mile away.”
“I’m not that flamboyant!” Kageyama exclaimed, trying to catch Hinata as he sprinted for the door, out of Kageyama’s grasp. “I’m going to kick your ass!” he shouted, running out of the room and down the hall, trying to find where his partner had gone. After about five minutes he found him, talking to Lev. It was kind of funny to see Hinata have to literally look up to hold a conversation with the extremely tall teen.
“So you are dating the setter?” Kageyama rolled his eyes at Lev’s question.
“I have a name,” he said, coming into Lev’s view. The silver haired boy was smiling wide,
“I’ve heard things about you.”
“What kind of things?” Kageyama asked, glaring at Hinata, who just grinned in response. Lev shrugged,
“I don’t know. Hinata speaks awful highly of you though.” He blushed, glaring at Hinata.
“What?” Hinata asked, “You’re the best player I’ve ever seen.”
“Did you pay him the say that?” Lev whispered in Kageyama’s ear. Kageyama resisted the urge to punch his face only because he was a member of the other team.
...
“Are you getting up or not?” Lev asked doubtfully. Kageyama bolted upright,
“I am, I swear,” he responded, trying to erase the feeling of Hinata against him from his mind. He needed to focus today, and that meant living in the present.
“Why’d you even bother with morning classes?” Lev continued, tearing his shirt off and throwing on a new one. It was essentially the same, only difference being it was blue instead of yellow. What was the point?
“We all need gen ed,” Kageyama replied, rubbing his eyes, “The only time I could take this damn math class was early morning.”
“Okay, well, don’t forget your book, because I’m not lending one to you again,” Lev commented, lacing up his shoes.
“I won’t,” Kageyama said.
He forgot it anyways.