Chapter Text
Tartaglia created a new chat
Tartaglia named the chat the eleven glorious fatui harbingers
Tartaglia added Arlecchino, Damselette, Il Capitano, Il Dottore, La Signora, Marionette, Pulcinella, Regrator, and Scaramouche to the chat
Tartaglia: hey everyone!
her majesty said i could make a group chat with all of us
so yeah here we go :)
anyway lmk if i missed anyone
Regrator: What is this lunacy
Regrator left the chat
Tartaglia: oop
Tartaglia added Regrator to the chat
Tartaglia changed the chat settings
Regrator: Are you serious
Why is the leave chat setting gone
Tartaglia: uhh cuz if everyone left the chat it would kinda defeat the purpose of having it in the first place??
duh
La Signora: @Pulcinella tell your lapdog to take me out of this chat immediately or I’m voting no on the tax bill
Tartaglia: whaat
Pulcinella: Childe, please remove her from the chat
We need her vote
Tartaglia: ok fine
Dw i’ll add her back after the vote
La Signora: Don’t you dare
I will
Tartaglia removed La Signora from the chat
Scaramouche: good riddance
Tartaglia: ayy scara good to see u!!
Scaramouche: whatever
i’m getting too many notifications from this
but it’ll be amusing to watch you all rip each other’s throats out
this chat might be the only good idea you’ve ever had tartar sauce
Tartaglia: thank u thank u
Tartaglia changed Scaramouche ’s screen name to FandangoMan
Tartaglia changed the chat settings
FandangoMan: WHAT
YOU IMBECILE
LET ME CHANGE IT BACK
Tartaglia: no ❤️
FandangoMan: i amend my statement you’ve never had a good idea in your entire pathetic life you absolute buffoon
Tartaglia: love u too scara :P
Il Dottore: hellOoOoOOoo
Tartaglia: uh
hi?
Regrator: Dottore, did you ever look at the documents I sent you
It’s been two weeks
Il Dottore: wHat DocUMeNts?
Tartaglia: dude u ok??
FandangoMan: it’s crazy larry of course he’s not okay
FandangoMan sent an image
(image: very unhinged looking dottore segment sitting at a lab computer and typing)
Tartaglia: omg hi crazy larry!!!!
Wait didnt big brother ban him from using the lab computers?
FandangoMan: somehow he figured out the password again lmao
zandi jr probably told him if i had to guess
Tartaglia: oh haha
Il Dottore: aCTUalLy iT WaS aTtiCUs
FandangoMan: LMFAOOO
no he didn’t
you’re lying
Il Dottore: Im NOT LYING
SHUT UP
YOU’RE LYING
FandangoMan: gods i forgot you can’t take a joke
Il Dottore: ITS NOT FUNNY
FandangoMan: i mean yes it is
but whatever
Il Dottore: ASJDJISKLLWDHIIHUWDUIH
IIOHIOGHAGSAHWQDJIDWQJIODWQJIOjodwQ
FandangoMan: larry i’m literally in the other room why are you yelling at me in the freaking chat
tater tot can you mute him already
Tartaglia: idk if this chat has that setting but ill try
Tartaglia removed Il Dottore from the chat
Tartaglia: shoot mb
Arlecchino: Good riddance.
Tartaglia: u stole scara’s line lol
But welcome arle!
Arlecchino: Thank you, I suppose.
I’ll be turning off notifications for this chat now, so I do not recommend trying to contact me here.
Tartaglia: arle nooo
It won’t be the same without you
Pls
Scara come on help me convince her
FandangoMan: we need you to raise the collective iq of the chat
you cannot leave me here alone with these degenerates
Tartaglia: thx scara
Wait
Actually screw u
Damselette: hello everyone~ ❤️
Tartaglia: oh hi columbina!!
Welcome to the chat :)
Damselette: thank you tartaglia! 💖
is sandrone here? 🤔
i need to tell her that i accidentally broke the robot she lent me 😬
Tartaglia: i added her but im not sure if shes seen the chat yet
Marionette: YOU WHAT.
Damselette: i’m so sorry! it was an accident 😥
Marionette: That was a STATE-OF-THE-ART, INDUSTRIAL-GRADE maintenance bot. HOW in Tsaritsa’s name did you break it?
Damselette: i have no idea 😭
Damselette sent an image
(image: very large, completely and utterly destroyed robot. Hard to believe that much damage could be done by accident)
Damselette: i don’t know what happened, i was feeling frustrated that it kept beeping at me for no reason, so i got a bit overwhelmed 😢
i swear i was just trying to turn it off 🥺🙏
Marionette: It was BEEPING at you because its BATTERY was LOW. You would know that if you were LISTENING when I walked you through how to use it.
Damselette: i was listening, i swear! 🫡
i’m so so sorry, sandrone 💔
i’ll make it up to you 🙏
Marionette: You better. I’m NEVER letting you touch my robots again.
FandangoMan: honestly, i’m astounded it took you this long to make that judgment
don't you remember what happened to the ice sculpture of our fair and glorious cryo archon?
Tartaglia: wait what happened to the ice sculpture of her majesty?
FandangoMan: weren’t you there?
Tartaglia: no i was in nod krai :((((((
Pulci mentioned something happened but then refused to elaborate
FandangoMan: our favorite damsel was stressed about her speech and decided to practice to it
take a wild guess what happened next
Tartaglia: omg
FandangoMan: the captain had to fuse it back together before the jester saw
Tartaglia: lmaoooo
Dang
No wonder the nose and arm looked so weird when i saw it at the winter ball lol
@Il Capitano celestia bless u cap 🫡
FandangoMan: you know he’s never going to see that right
he never checks his messages
Tartaglia: o rly
hmm
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
FandangoMan: 5000 mora says he doesn’t even know who you are
Tartaglia: oh youre so on
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
@Il Capitano
Il Capitano: What?
Tartaglia: do u know who i am
Il Capitano: I know you’re the next unfortunate recruit that the Rooster dragged up the rankings to gain an extra vote. For what it’s worth, I pity your predicament.
FandangoMan: boom roasted
Tartaglia: hmph that’s not true!!
Pulci tell him that’s not true
Pulci come on
@Pulcinella
@Pulcinella
@Pulcinella
@Pulcinella
@Pulcinella
@Pulcinella
@Pulcinella
@Pulcinella
@Pulcinella
FandangoMan: this is too good lmao
Tartaglia: shut up u owe me 5000 mora
@Pulcinella
@Pulcinella
@Pulcinella
@Pulcinella