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Tommy stops right outside his truck’s passenger door and fixes his tie. He takes a deep breath and releases it slowly. He had been expecting to be nervous, but not this much.
Squaring up his shoulders, Tommy opens the door.
“I don’t like this,” Evan says, pouting.
“We are almost there, love,” Tommy reassures him, smiling.
“Fine… now, what?”
“Here, let me help you.” Tommy unfastens his seatbelt and then helps him out of the truck. “Careful… let’s go slow.”
“Do I really need the blindfold?” Evan asks in a whining voice.
“Yes, you do!” Tommy laughs. “This is a surprise!”
“Ugh,” Evan throws his head back. “I wasn’t going to put a blindfold on you but now I will!”
“That’s fair,” Tommy chuckles.
As Tommy carefully leads Evan to their destination, his left arm wrapped around Evan’s waist and his right hand holding Evan’s hand, he thinks about everything that has led to tonight.
He and Evan had a long discussion about what date should be their anniversary. Should it be the day Tommy first kissed him and –in Evan’s words– completely changed his life? Should it be when they had that first coffee date and decided to try to be something? Or should it be when –after Tommy made the biggest mistake of his life– they got back together? In the end, they decided that their anniversary was going to be the day when they got back together. However, they still tend to somehow commemorate the other days as well. Maybe with breakfast in bed, a quickie before work, or just smaller things like that.
That’s the reason Tommy chose this day to do what he’s about to do. Today is the third year anniversary of when they first kissed, which was one of the best decisions of Tommy’s life.
Tommy nods at one of the security guards and continues to tenderly lead Evan to where they need to go.
The first time they came here has been seared into Tommy’s brain. They were spending an entire day together, no work, just the two of them. They’d decided to get into one of their cars, drive around aimlessly, and spontaneously decide where to stop and what to do. Hours passed as they drove around, just talking about anything and everything, and singing along to the radio, until they stumbled upon the L.A. County Arboretum & Botanic Garden and decided to get inside. They spent the entire day there, just wandering around the different gardens. Sometimes, they would sit at one of the benches, quietly talking or just in peaceful silence, holding hands and stealing soft kisses.
After that first time, it became a thing. Every once in a while, they would drive over here and spend the day relaxing. Sometimes, it was crowded, other times it was not. It’s a special place for them and it was one of the first places that came to Tommy’s mind when he was brainstorming ideas for tonight.
What ended up sealing the deal was when one day Tommy came across a brochure advertising Gifts and Memorials. A particular scene from one of his favorite guilty-pleasure movies –one he’d made Evan watch and which he had ended up loving too– instantly popped into his mind, and Tommy knew what he had to do.
As they come near the Garden of Quiet Reflection in the Meadowbrook area of the Arboretum, one of their favorite places in the garden, Tommy can feel his heart pounding so fast that it might vault up his throat. His hands are getting clammy, so he disentangles his fingers from Evan’s and puts his hand on Evan’s hip instead.
“You seem really nervous,” Evan comments, slowing down his steps.
“I am,” Tommy confesses.
“Whatever it is, I will love it.”
Tommy smiles at him even though he can’t see him. Evan has the ability to calm him down, it’s like he knows exactly what to do or say. His heart is just so pure and so full of love that it takes Tommy’s breath away sometimes. And it’s a love that he has decided to give to Tommy, of all the people in the world, every day Evan decides to love him, Tommy. What did I ever do to be this lucky?
With most of his nerves put to the side and now just getting impatient and feeling more than ready, Tommy starts to walk as fast as he can while still being mindful of Evan.
“I guess we are getting really close?” Evan asks, chuckling.
“We are… just a few more steps.”
Squeezing Evan’s hip, Tommy tenderly guides Evan right in front of where he needs to be standing.
“Ok,” Tommy says with a tremble in his voice.
“Ok?” Evan questions, turning his head to the side like a little puppy. “I can take the blindfold off?”
Unable to resist, Tommy cups his cheek and kisses him. If everything turns out as he expects and hopes, this will be the last kiss they share as boyfriends.
“Yeah, ok… just, let me,” Tommy says once he breaks the kiss off and gently unties the blindfold.
Once the blindfold is off, Evan shakes his head and blinks repeatedly. Thankfully, it’s night and while the garden is illuminated, the lighting is soft since they are literally already closed.
“The Arboretum?” Evan asks, confused, looking behind Tommy first and then to his left. It is when he looks at his right that he freezes, his eyes going wide in surprise.
Tommy exhales shakily and watches as Evan looks at the bench Tommy donated to the garden.
“From Tommy, to Evan: I’ll be by your side always,” Evan softly reads aloud the plaque on the bench.
Kneeling down in one knee, Tommy begins shakily, “Evan, you love to say that I’ve changed your life when I kissed you three years ago. But the truth is that I’ve also changed my own life that day. I heard once that sometimes you gotta jump and hope you’re not standing on a cliff. When I kissed you, it was like flying without knowing if I was going to be able to land somewhere. And when you kissed me back… it was the perfect landing.”
With tears in his eyes, Evan chuckles softly. “Tommy…”
“I think one of the reasons I have always loved flying is the freedom it gave me… to just be up there, in the clouds, all the worries and bad things just seem so far away. But being with you, it feels like flying but only better, because with you, I can be myself and all those worries and bad things… I know I can overcome with you by my side,” Tommy continues, a few tears falling down his face. “I never thought I would get to experience a love like ours… you’ve made me so happy, so unbelievably happy, and I can only hope that I get the chance to make you as happy for as long as we live.”
Tommy grabs the ring box from the pocket of his suit jacket and opens it, revealing a diagonal channel set round solitaire diamond ring in white gold. “Evan Buckley, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”
Evan kneels down in front of him with tears streaming down his face. “Yes,” he nods, vigorously. “Yes, I will marry you! Of course, I will!”
Laughing in relief and crying tears of happiness, Tommy takes out the ring from the box with trembling fingers and Evan presents him his hand with a radiant smile. They both hold their breath as Tommy slides the ring onto Evan’s finger. Once it sits perfectly on the finger, Tommy caresses the knuckle with it and then brings it to his mouth and kisses it.
“You need to kiss me,” Evan demands shakily.
“I know… I really do,” Tommy chuckles and leans in for their first kiss as fiancés.
If their first kiss was life-changing, this one is even more so.
Tommy slides his hand into Evan’s hair and pulls him closer. His other hand cradles Evan’s face gently and tenderly.
Evan deepens the kiss but it still remains soft and loving. They are just savouring each other and the moment.
After a while, Tommy pulls back just enough to kiss along Evan’s jaw, then up to his temple, and his forehead. Each kiss is slow, and reverent, because he wants to worship every inch of Evan’s skin.
“I can’t believe you beat me to it,” Evan mumbles after he stops peppering kisses along Tommy’s nose and cheekbones
Surprised, Tommy pulls back and asks, “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Evan huffs but laughs as well. “My surprise for today is me proposing to you!”
“What?” Tommy asks, completely bewildered.
Nodding, Evan confirms, “I was going to propose to you tonight… I had it all planned!”
Tommy blinks owlishly at him before shaking his head. “Ok, then. Let’s go!” He stands up, pulling Evan along with him.
“What? Where?”
“To the surprise you planned, of course!” Tommy replies, walking quickly to the exit, nodding and waving at the security guards and the people still working in the garden. I will have to come back and gift them something, he absent-mindedly thinks.
“But… but you’ve already proposed!” Evan protests.
“So? You planned a proposal, so let’s go so you can propose to me!”
“But I want to sit on our bench!”
“We’ll return tomorrow! The bench will be there for at least 25 years,” Tommy informs him, loudly, now practically running.
“Oh my god….” Evan laughs. “Yeah, ok!”
When they reach Tommy’s truck, Tommy gives Evan the keys and asks, “Should I wear the blindfold or not?”
“Not yet!” Evan winks and gets inside the driver’s side.
—
Buck keeps giggling during the entire drive and Tommy keeps joining him in the laughter. They are both giddy and flustered and just so happy that it pours out of them.
He can’t believe that Tommy proposed to him. And on the night when Buck also planned to propose as well. It’s so them and yet he just can’t believe it.
Tommy keeps kissing him on the hand, even though he can’t actually reach the one with the finger. As for Buck, well, he keeps fighting the urge to look at the ring instead of the road.
As he parks outside their favorite pub and Tommy gives him a knowing look with a loving smile, Buck thinks back to why he chose this place for the proposal.
On the outside, it seems like a weird place to propose to your significant other, but for them, this bar means a lot. It’s the place where they come every Wednesday for trivia night, and every Saturday for karaoke night –even though Buck is a terrible singer. It’s also the place where they had their first night after they got back together. They hadn’t wanted to go to a fancy restaurant or do something extremely special, they had just wanted to be relaxed, together, having a good time. This bar was the best place and from then on, it became their go-to. They have great memories inside this place and Buck had thought when planning the proposal, We could have the greatest memory there as well.
“Now, the blindfold?” Tommy asks when they are standing outside the closed bar.
“Now, yes, please,” Buck replies, suddenly feeling nervous even though he knows Tommy will say yes.
After he puts the blindfold on Tommy, he gently guides Tommy inside, in an exact parallel of what Tommy had done for him.
Closing and locking the door, Buck says, “Ok, I will take it out now.”
Buck moves to the side as soon as the blindfold is off because he wants to see Tommy’s reaction to everything.
One of the things Buck had decided to do after they got back together was take lots of pictures of them, capturing their love and relationship. Those pictures are now hanging from the walls all over the place, as a sort of memory lane of their last three years together.
“Evan… I love this,” Tommy breathes out. His gaze keeps jumping from picture to picture, his eyes sparkling with love and his smile big and blinding.
“Good, but this is not all,” Buck replies and starts to move to the little stage in the middle of the room.
Tommy raises his eyebrow and walks forward as well.
“You know, it’s funny that you gifted me a bench because I kind of took inspiration in your favorite movie as well,” Buck tells him, sheepishly.
Despite looking intrigued, Tommy stays silent, letting him continue.
Buck takes a deep breath, gathering the courage for the hard part, and walks to the karaoke machine that was left all set up for him.
For the past few weeks –closer to a month, really– he’s been taking singing lessons, all to serenade Tommy during the proposal. Tommy had sung to him countless times during all the Saturdays they had come here, and sure, Buck had sung too, but there’s always been a huge difference: Tommy could actually sing. He’s great at it, while Buck is the total opposite. So, for the first time ever, he wants to amaze him with his singing. But it wasn’t just that. Buck just felt that he has always struggled to express the depth of his feelings for Tommy with words alone. The words never come to him easily, so he’d decided to borrow someone else’s, hoping a song might convey what he can’t with his own words.
Pressing play, the soft melody starts to play and as Buck grabs the microphone, a video is projected on the wall behind Buck with more pictures of them and Tommy alone.
“He may be the face I can't forget, a trace of pleasure or regret. May be my treasure or the price I have to pay… He may be the song that summer sings, may be the chill that autumn brings, may be a hundred different things within the measure of a day…”
Tommy loves romcoms and he made his purpose in life to show Buck his favorite ones. Some, Buck has to agree, were good, while some others, not so much. The movie that has this song as a soundtrack is one of the good ones. As a matter of fact, the scene with this song in it made Buck emotional, which is one of the reasons he chose this particular song. The other reason is simply because of the lyrics: they are perfect for Tommy –changing the pronoun, of course.
“He may be the beauty or the beast, may be the famine or the feast, may turn each day into a heaven or a hell… He may be the mirror of my dreams, a smile reflected in a stream. He may not be what he may seem inside his shell….”
While he sings, Buck looks only at Tommy, hoping that the song and his eyes convey all the love he has for him and just how important he is.
“He who always seems so happy in a crowd, whose eyes can be so private and so proud… No one's allowed to see them when they cry. He may be the love that cannot hope to last, may come to me from shadows of the past that I'll remember till the day I die…”
Buck’s voice begins to tremble with all the emotion he is feeling. Between the truth of the lyrics, the sight of Tommy crying softly with a small adoring smile on his face, and the knowledge that they are already engaged, the happiness he feels is too vast to even comprehend.
With tears welling up in his eyes, Buck pours all his love for Tommy while singing the last and, perhaps, the most significant verse.
“He may be the reason I survive… The why and wherefore I'm alive… The one I'll care for through the rough and rainy years. Me, I'll take his laughter and his tears and make them all my souvenirs… For where he goes, I've got to be… The meaning of my life is him… Him… Ohhhh, Him!”
Panting, Buck turns off the microphone and walks towards Tommy.
“Evan, that was…” Tommy cries softly. “That was beautiful!”
“I just wanted to do something really special for you because you deserve it and because I love you so much,” Buck sniffles. “God… I just love you a lot!”
“I love you too,” Tommy replies.
“Shh, I let you talk before,” Buck chides him jokingly, making Tommy chuckle and nod. “I’m not good with words, which is why I chose a song but… you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and you love me like I never thought anyone could love me before.”
Tommy shakes his head in disbelief, and Buck gets down on one knee, presenting him with a men's princess-cut diamond and sapphire ring in white gold.
Smiling tearfully but also cheekily, Buck says, “I’m just a boy, kneeling in front of another boy, asking him to marry him.”
“You’re so ridiculous… I love you so much,” Tommy sobs, kneeling down. “Yes, I will marry you!”
“Well, you’ve already proposed so you can’t say no, either way,” Buck laughs, clumsily putting the ring on Tommy’s finger.
Tommy rests their foreheads together and they look down at both of their hands, which are now sporting rings. “We’re engaged,” Tommy says in awe.
“I know… I can’t believe it!” Buck replies, just as amazed.
“What now?” Tommy whispers.
“Now, we kiss and have sex right here on the floor,” Buck teases.
“Right, of course… silly of me to ask,” Tommy says dryly.
They share a look and then they laugh, a few tears still falling from their eyes.
“There’s actually champagne for us,” Buck says, hiccuping.
“A toast sounds great!” Tommy stands up and helps Buck up as well.
“And then?”
“And then… we put on some music and slow dance until our feet are tired and we are ready to go home.”
“And there we have sex?”
“Yes, there, we have sex.”
“Good!”