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Buck has gotten good at not jumping at the sound of the phone. He doesn’t flinch when it rings, doesn’t wait by it; he isn’t scared to put it on silent during shifts anymore, he doesn’t check his notifications every ten minutes like some sort of subservient routine. He just puts it aside, tucks it into his pocket or leaves it on the counter and ignores it, no matter how much he still thinks Tommy might call.
This? This is different.
When he slides it open, back at the station after a call, there’s three missed calls. They’re spaced out by about fifteen minutes, each of them from Lucy, and there’s a few texts to accompany them. Things like hey, man, call me asap, and it’s important . Things that make him worry.
So Buck dials the number.
“Buckley,” Lucy picks up on the first ring; her voice is dry and short, lacking her usual snark. It isn’t severe, though; not the sort of sadness he’d almost worried for. It’s reassured in a way that tells Buck that she’s not calling from a hospital waiting room, or worse, that Tommy’s in a bodybag – and that’s something. That’s something he has to take as a win.
“Hey, Lucy,” Buck greets her steadily, shrugging at the questioning look Eddie shoots him. “How are you going? Are you all good?”
On the far end of the line, Lucy clears her throat thickly. “I’m fine, but this isn’t a social call, Buck, I’m sorry. I was, uh, I was just wondering if you’ve heard from Tommy? He called Captain Murphy a few days ago and asked for the shift off, hasn’t come in to work for about a week, and nobody’s really heard from him since… but I can’t get in touch and I’m just– I don’t even know. I’m on my way to his place now, but has he reached out to you by any chance?”
“I promise you, Donato, I’m the last person Tommy’s going to be calling. Maybe he just wanted some time off, he’ll come in to fly his rental at some point or another. Or he might be visiting Sal, I think he lives in Seattle now. But, uh, no, he– he hasn’t reached out to me. Sorry.” Buck gives Eddie a look, something almost adjacent to a roll of the eyes.
She hums along the line, dissatisfaction sitting in the small noise. “Look, everyone at Harbor is– is saying the same thing, that he just… went away for a minute. I know he’s been having a hard time with everything happening with you, and I know that he– he’s a grown man and he can do what he wants, but this isn’t like him. I mean, it’s Tommy. ”
“Uh,” Buck turns away from Eddie a little, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Lucy, I’m– I mean, I don’t think I’m really in a position to comment on what Tommy would or wouldn’t do. He… with the way things ended, it turned out I didn’t really know him that well anyway.”
“Well, I do.” Lucy says. Her voice is biting, and Buck flinches a little at the sharp edge in her tone.”I do know him, I’ve been working with him three days a week, every week, since I left the 118, and I know that Tommy isn’t the kind of person who just ups and
leaves
, Buck. He isn’t.”
“You and I have had very different experiences with Tommy, then, Lucy, because that is exactly what he did to me. He upped, he left, hell, he told me he’d see me round.” Buck can feel the bitterness in his voice, but he doesn’t know what he can do to stop it, so he lets it run free. “I’m on shift, I should probably get back to it, but good luck. I’m sure he’s fine.”
“Wait, wait, Buck, I’m scared.” Lucy breathes out into the phone, and Buck– Buck can hear the fear in her voice. He’d assumed, like so many times over the last couple of months, that it was another attempt by Lucy to drag him in toward Tommy– to pull back a broken relationship.
But the concern, the panic in her voice – that isn’t put-on. That’s real fear, genuine fear, and Buck knows, he hears it every day. In the people he helps, the people he can’t – that sort of fear isn’t something that people in this line of work carry lightly, and that’s what really stands out to him, for all the words Lucy is saying. “Well, what are you– what do you think happened?”
“I don’t know.” Buck can hear the exasperation in her tone. “I’m at his place, and both his cars are still here. And he hates flying commercially, and he’s not booked any of the rentals out at the harbor. I don’t know where he is, I don’t know how he could’ve gotten there.”
Buck clears his throat, moving toward the stairs. He heads down into the locker room, looking for a little privacy, but he can feel Eddie’s eyes on him from the balcony. “You’re at his house? Never mind, okay, um. Maybe he’s just, like, out? He walks down to that gym on the corner most of the time, always says the traffic isn’t worth it.”
“Hang on–” Lucy’s voice sounds a little faraway, like she’s set her phone down somewhere. “Buck, his keys are still here, and his phone. I’m gonna check the house.”
“Be careful,” Buck frowns, considering his options. If he explained the situation to Bobby, surely his Captain would let him leave – but that’s overkill, isn’t it? How creepy would it be, to take the rest of the shift off - something he hardly ever does willingly - to go seek out his ex who probably doesn’t want to be found? That’s unreasonable, surely.
Or not. “He’s not here. He’s not here, his phone is here. The milk is bad, the bread is moldy. Buck, he hasn’t been here in– in days.” Lucy murmurs, her voice growing a little more panicked. “I’m calling the cops, and my captain. Can you come over here?”
“I’m on shift…” Buck murmurs, changing his mind. “Fuck it. Look, I’ll talk to Bobby and I’ll call Athena– she’s a sergeant, she’ll help us out. I’ll be there in half an hour, okay? Don’t go anywhere, but be careful. I’m coming as fast as I can.”
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
“And he didn’t call out of any of his other shifts?”
Athena beat Buck to Tommy’s place, and when he walks in – the front door left unlocked – it’s to Athena and Lucy sitting at the dining table, glasses of water with ice in front of them both. Detective Romero is leaning against the doorway, clicking a pen incessantly and tapping it on his notepad. Lucy looks up and gives Buck a grim nod in greeting, and Athena pats him on the arm – he circles the table, sitting down on the far side, offering a tiny wave to the detective.
“Not as far as I know,” Lucy says softly. “I saw him, god– would’ve been… last Thursday. We went off shift in the morning, but call went over time so we were there til eleven-ish. Said he was just going to come home, catch up on some sleep. He, um. He had a date that night, a guy Aria set him up with.”
“Aria?” Athena asks, shooting a glance at Detective Romero.
“Tommy’s Captain. Captain Murphy,” Buck replies before Lucy can, giving her a grim smile. He tries to ignore the way that the idea of Tommy on a date stings in his chest – and the sideways glance that Romero shoots him – instead stealing a sip of Lucy’s water to clear his throat.
She offers him her usual glare, but there’s no heat behind it. “And one of Tommy’s best friends. She said the guy was a friend of a friend she had over at PD, apparently the woman was really advocating for him. Tommy only really agreed because apparently Aria’s friend was pretty insistent.”
“Wait, there was a middle man here?” Romero cuts in. “A friend of Aria Murphy’s, but not of Tommy’s?”
“From PD?” Athena adds.
“That’s right.” Lucy nods. “He texted me after the date, said the guy seemed really sweet but he wasn’t feeling it. He hasn’t really been on a date in a while, so.”
The last part feels targeted, and Buck flinches.
“Hang on, you said,” Romero holds a hand up. “You said you last saw him two weeks ago, on a Tuesday, right? Athena, that timing...”
“Rick…” She murmurs, standing up slowly – whatever dots he’s linked, she seems to have found on her own. “Rick, the letters.”
“What letters?” Buck hisses, leaning across the table. He briefly wonders if this is how people feel when he and Eddie make decisions at work without filling everyone else in – but that pangs in his chest when he remembers Eddie’s gone, and he turns his focus back to Athena. “‘Thena, what letters? ”
Athena eyes Buck up and down, almost like she doesn’t want to tell him, but she sighs and concedes. “Maddie was taken on that Monday night. Amber generally targets girls and women, but we looked through her place. She had these letters that we found on the scene, they’re in evidence, and she said something about Maddie’s family. About how you made it so hard for her to do what she had to, and she would get her revenge.”
That doesn’t make any sense, though. Because Amber’s gone, and Maddie’s safe, and– and why would she take Tommy? He isn’t close with the 118, not anymore – although he never ceased to mean something to them. Buck still loves him.
Which made Tommy the perfect target. It took them this long to realise he was gone.
But it still hurts.
Fuck.
“Okay, Rick, we need to take this into the station.” Athena stands up, tucking her chair in. Romero follows suit, beelining for the door. “Lucy, it was great to meet you. Keep Buck in check, I need both of you to stay here, I’ll be sending a detail over, and I’ll call Bobby, and– and Buck?” She adds, right before she steps outside, Rick already going to start the car. “Let us do what we gotta do, okay?”
“You have to find him.” Buck says quietly. “I can’t lose him, ‘Thena, not again”
“You won’t.” She says severely; it sounds likea promise, and that’s fine. If Buck weren’t a firefighter, if he didn’t know how this could end so many bad ways, he wouldn’t think twice about it. He would believe her.
But he’s lost Tommy once; it’s inevitable, for Buck, to lose him again.
That’s just the way his life goes.