Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The pub, specifically the Laughing Wolf Tavern, is filled to capacity this evening. Every adventurer’s food supplies dwindle to nothing while in the dungeon. Chilchuck wasn’t kidding when he said it’s tradition for adventurers to come here after a dive to eat and make merry. Whether the last dungeon expedition was a boom or bust, the pub is a great place to come right after to reset yourself. While the dungeon seemed to be Laios and Senshi’s place of comfort, the pubs were Chilchuck’s. He wanted nothing more than to relax and drink all night until closing. This visit will be especially strange since he wears the appearance of a completely different man. His plan was to stay incognito and be a fly on the wall. At least they are less likely to cut him off after so many drinks since he’s not a halfling anymore.

The atmosphere is lively to say the least. A small band stands on a gray dire wolf's pelt next to the fireplace as they strum the gittern and pound on the drums. Many of the food merchants that normally sell inside the first level of the dungeon are here too. There’s no room for Laios’ party to get a table, so they search for spaces at the bar. Laios offers to lift Marcille up to sit at the barstool. Marcille makes a sour face at Laios who is only a little taller than her and then looks up at Chilchuck expectantly. He avoids her gaze. She frowns and eventually climbs up herself. Halflings can become very upset if you treat them like a child. Marcille doesn’t know that. I should have handled that better, he reflects. There are only two more seats available. Laios pushes Senshi and Chilchuck toward them.
“Sit! Order whatever you want. It’s on me.”
The tall, red-headed woman bartender leans over the counter and sees the dwarf.
“Laios! Where the hell you been?! You’re gotten… shorter and chubbier since I last saw you.” So much for anonymity here.
“Oh, you know. Dungeon monsters have weird effects on people. It should wear off soon.”
“I think it makes you look cute.”
Laios scratches his head and blushes. “Aww, really..?”
Chilchuck recognizes her. Wait, isn’t that the mage Asivia? She was in Laios’ party before Marcille. Guess barkeeping makes more money than dungeon diving for her. Great…
“I’d like to put in an order for the eggs benedict please.” Marcille interrupts.
Asivia turns her attention over to Marcille.
“Sure thing, sweetheart.” The girl’s eyes gaze up, cheerfully meeting his. “And you, handsome?”
Chilchuck winces. Oh, I do not want any of this from Laios’ old girlfriend tonight. He somewhat expected the women here to treat him differently with this appearance, but still wasn’t ready for it. He remembered how she played around to get whatever she wanted out of Laios. It was probably old habits dying hard since Chilchuck was married, but Chilchuck didn’t want any special attention from any ladies. Well, for now. He’s just not drunk enough yet. Laios and Marcille laugh.
“Come on! Make up your mind! Handsome!” Marcille mimics the bartender. He flusters and answers to the woman in the most nonchalant way possible.
“Same as her and whatever beer you have on special.” He should confirm with Laios if he was going to pay for his beer tab too. Probably not. Best assume not. Asivia nods, drops her cute act to him and moves on to Senshi. With the beautiful elf, she wildly gestures to the overhead menu and speaks in such an excited high pitched tone, it’s jarring to watch. He turns around to ask Laios about the drink tab and to warn him about staying anonymous, but then Namari shows up.
“Laios!”
“Namari!”
The brawny dwarf woman runs over and embraces him. Laios flexes his biceps.
“Check it out. Changeling mushrooms turned us all into different races. I’m a dwarf now. Isn’t that cool?”
Namari puts her hand to her chin and lips and checks him out.
“Nah. I liked your long legs before. And what’s with the shaven face? Every dwarf here’s gonna think you're a child or a woman.”
“It’s a personal choice.” She turns her attention to Marcille.
“You, though. I like it. Marcille, you look adorable.” She gestures, grabbing the air in front of her. “I just want to squeeze you.” Chichuck motions for her to stop.
“Don’t say our names. We’re trying to lay low.”
“You…” She hesitates, scans him up and down. Then her jaw drops in disbelief. “Holy shit! Oh my god! It’s Chilchuck the tallman!”
“Keep it down!” he says with increasing annoyance.
“You look dashing.”
“Shut up.” He grumbles.
“I mean it. It’s like you obtained your huge grumpy true form.”
“We’re not going to stay like this-”
A couple of bearded dwarfs pull up next to Namari. They motion to Laios.
“Who’s this guy?”
“Oh, that’s just Laios. Some dungeon magic turned him into a dwarf.”
“Laios Touden? Oh yeah! The son of that village chief.”
One of them slaps him on the back.
“Welcome to our world. Come. Let me introduce you to some people.” The two dwarves put arms over him and motion him to the exit. “You married? You interested in meeting some of our best blacksmiths?” Namari follows. Laios looks back at them. Both Marcille and Chilchuck show concern for him.
“I’ll catch you guys later!” He reassures them and waves goodbye.
Chilchuck calls over to Senshi.
“Hey maybe you better go with-” The seat Senshi is sitting in is taken up by a different patron. “Where the hell did Senshi go?” Chilchuck whispers to Marcille. She puts her hands out and shugs. The server sets out their food and drink. Marcille takes a sip from her cup. Chilchuck gazes over her. Did she order alcohol? Will she be okay if she did? She sees that he’s hovering and side-eyes him.
“It’s water.”
He notices that the portions of the exact same order are very different in size. She has a tiny plate of two eggs. He has a plate of five.
“How much was each meal?” he asks Asivia.
“They are two silvers each.”
“Each? But it’s not the same portions. You’re ripping halflings off. Can I speak with the manager?” Her face sours and she takes off into the back. Marcille doesn’t seem to like what he was doing.
“It’s fine, Chilchuck.” She murmurs to him under her breath. A dwarf with a curly beard and apron comes to them.
“Hey manager, can she get a discount because her meal portion is smaller?”
“We put out less, because small people like them won’t eat it all.”
“Then, could you charge a smaller price?” Chilchuck suggests. The manager laughs.
“Oh, a kids meal! That will go over well!” Marcille chews her eggs and tries to ignore them. The tallman patron sitting in Senshi’s seat and others around him turn their heads to watch. The dwarf stands on a wooden barrel and leans over to him. “Listen here tallman! You don’t understand how halflings think. They will get mighty offended at a drop of a hat. Besides, they take up space here when we could be seating bigger people who buy more-” Enraged, Chichuck stands up and yells at them.
“That is so obviously unfair!”
Usually, in his experience, the management laughs him off. In the past, whoever he's with would typically grab his small halfling body, kicking and screaming, and cart him off. Sometimes the management would think he looks amusing displaying his short-man syndrome and gives in. This time everyone around him except Marcille backs off. The manager and Asivia stare up at him, wide eyed, frozen in fear.
“Alright sir! We will order three more eggs for your girl!”
“And another beer!” He demands.
“Coming right up.” They scramble away. Chilchuck glances over to see a small crowd gawking at him. He sits down, feeling embarrassed. After a moment, they go back to what they were doing. Chilchuck finishes his first glass and sighs. Marcille pokes his head with her staff.
“Did you catch Laios and Shiro’s stupidity? You’re big and scary now. You’re going to get kicked out acting like that.” He completely agrees. He’s actually taller than almost everyone here. Of course he could be seen as intimidating. Another thing he needs to be mindful of as a tallman.
“I know. Sorry.”
Chilchuck eats his eggs. They disappear fast. It’s like he inhaled them. They serve more beer and eggs to Marcille and him. He leans over, focusing on her new plate of eggs. She stabs her fork into them and wolfs them down.
“Oh no you don’t. You got them for me so they are mine.” He tastes his beer. Marcille grumbles to herself. “I can’t believe what you have to go through everyday.”
“What do you mean?”
“All this noise halflings hear all the time. They are saying, “Oh he likes those kinds of girls. He likes them petite. This among other things. People are so rude.”
“I’ve heard worse. You know, there are some halflings that are so good at pinpointing sounds, they can listen in on any conversation in a public place.”
“Really? Like this tavern?” She looks around and gasps. She pulls his sleeve and motions for him to look behind. “Over there at that back table by the window. It’s Izutsumi!” Chilchuck spots her sitting at a table with some of Kabru’s party members, the kobold and his handler Mickbell. “Grr.. isn’t that what kids always do? She was so clingy in the dungeon, but once we are out of the dungeon, we’re not cool enough for her.”
“Aww, yes, that little blonde elf girl doesn’t want to head over and visit the cat-dog girl.”
“Not me!” Marcille puts her little hands behind her large round ears and peers right at them.
“Hey, put your hands down. Don’t make what you are doing look obvious.” She does what he tells her and listens.
“Awww, Kuro is flirting with her.”
“Who’s that?”
“The kobold. The boy doggo is flirting with the girl doggo.”
“Oh, okay…” He goes back to nursing his drink. Marcille begins to narrate the conversation she hears without any prompt on his part.
“The group is ordering a lot of meat to eat and sharing it with her. Izutsumi really likes it. Kuro is telling her about his homeland. How everyone there are beastlings and she would not feel out of place if she were to move there with him. That halfling boy is begging Kuro to not leave him. He’s petting Kuro all over and Kuro is whimpering. Kuro is now licking his face.”
“I don’t need to know-” Marcille, enraptured by her new eavesdropping powers, ignores him. He gulps down the rest of his beer.
“The two are now asking if she would like to work for them. They are promising all the meat she can eat. Oh oh she’s thinking about it. Kuro is sniffing. He is leaning over and smelling her ears and describing how they smell funny. The boy is reaching over to pet her ears. Oh! Oh no!”
Chilchuck looks over just in time to see Izutsumi slap scratch them each across the face.
“You guys are the worst!!” She screams. The dog-cat beastling leaps out of her seat and dashes out of the building. Chilchuck smiles with amusement.
“That went well. Maybe she will stay half dog and go with them to kobold land.” He orders another beer.
“Should we go after her?”
“You can. I’m staying here. I’ve got two beers in me so far and…” He thinks for a sec and swallows hard. Dread descends over him. Marcille laughs.
“It’s gonna take a lot more than two drinks to get buzzed in that bigger body of yours.”
“Aww fuck. I’m going to go over my budget just to feel anything.” He takes a couple big gulps out of the fresh glass. “Nothing. It’s like I’m drinking water.”
“Serves you right! Well…” She pauses for a moment. “Aren’t you just into drinking to numb your halfling senses? Your senses are already dulled as a tallman so maybe it doesn’t matter.”
“More or less. There’s other reasons too. Some of em taste good.” She side-eyes him and smiled. Oh oh maybe she’s trying to pry into my personal life. He lifts his glass and inspects it. “You think they watered it down? I think it tastes the same. I should complain.”
She pushes him. “Don’t!” she chirps cheerfully.
Is she teasing? No. She’s not teasing. He ran out of ideas of what to talk about with her.
“Hey, so what else are halflings good at?” she asks him.
“Well, we are light on our feet. Since we have such good hearing and don’t weigh much, we can adjust our movement just right to the extent of making no sounds at all. The talented ones can make themselves virtually undetectable. No magic required.”
“So that’s why they say halflings are good at stealing stuff?”
“I didn’t say- that's just outlaws that do that.”
“You never stole anything?”
“No! Only looting dungeons.” Her big blue eyes leer at him. “Ok. No more questions.”

Sticking around with me is giving her bad ideas. Why am I the only one with Marcille?

...

Marcille gets out her spell book to read. She fiddles around with her root woven staff. The dinner crowd inside is beginning to trickle out. The band plays one last song and packs up. Parties are saying their drawn out goodbyes to each other. Couples are leaving to hook up later. The drinking patrons remain. Chilchuck completes his fourth drink. Still nothing. Most of the inconveniences of being tall he can live with, but alcohol having little effect in this body sucks. Since things are winding down, he suggested to Marcille to head back to the apartment to sleep. She refused.

“Being in Falin’s room makes me depressed. I want to find a way I can do magic as a halfling in case I’m stuck like this for a while.” She turns a page in her book. “I also need to make sure you stay out of trouble.”

“You normally do that with Laios.. Speaking of which, I wonder where Senshi and Laios are..” 

The little halfling stops reading and answers. “I heard Senshi’s voice in the kitchen a bit ago. I think he’s washing dishes right now.” He stands up towering over everyone.

“That idiot.” Chilchuck steps over the bar table and into the back rooms to find him. The staff shriek and run away from the big and scary tallman as he searches. He finds the elf dressed up in a white bandana and apron at a sink with a huge load of dirty dishes. Senshi lets out a gasp as soon as he sees him.

“Mr. Chilchuck! Hi!” 

Chilchuck crouches down to his eye level. “Senshi, we just came back from a tiring and dangerous job in a dungeon. We have to take a break and relax! You can’t let people take advantage of you!” The manager runs in and tries to explain to him. 

“He volunteered! He came on his own!”

“Yes, Chilchuck. It’s true! It doesn’t feel right with me to be idle! People needed me to feed them!” the elf cries out to him with tears of sparkles and blooming roses all around them. Large hands grab Senshi’s shoulders.

“I am making you take a break!” He lifts the elf off his feet and carries him over his shoulder back to the bar. Senshi is plopped onto the barstool next to Marcille. “Stay here and RELAX!” Chilchuck orders him. “What kind of drink you want? I’ll get it for you on my tab.” Pretty Senshi adverts eye contact and fusses about in his seat.

“I don’t know… a glass of… red wine.”

“Okay got it!” He puts in an order for him. A new barkeep and servers deliver Senshi’s glass of wine and many baskets of bread, one for each table. He tells the patrons it’s on the house. “Senshi did you…” Chilchuck begins to ask him.

“I couldn’t help myself…there was so much dough and not enough bakers. I wanted to make bread.”

Adventurer groups come in and gather around the bar. These ones are the more shady types that haunt the gambling taverns in the mid-levels of the dungeon. Despite the menacing appearance, they acted cheerful and liked the bread. Chilchuck didn’t take any, because it would interfere with his alcohol. It would have been better if halfling Marcille retired to Laios’ apartment. They did move to the wall so that both Senshi and him were between her and the new arrivals. 

Chilchuck decides to move on from cheap beer and try one of the nicer hops. Marcille waves the circle part of her staff over Senshi and little white daisy flowers begin to grow and bloom among the roots. It’s one of the rules in the tavern to leave weapons behind. It’s rarely enforced. Halflings with any wits in them know to always carry concealed knives for protection. As a force of habit, he has one knife in a holster under his shirt. The tavern staff are more worried about magical artifacts and mana channeling staffs. A single casted spell indoors can cause a great deal of property damage. They allowed Marcille to carry hers in most likely because a halfling wouldn’t be able to cast magic. She is basically seen as a little girl playing pretend.

“What are you doing?” He asks her with suspicion, sounding a bit more fatherish than he should.

“I don’t have much mana, but I can drain some.” Senshi sat calmly. His eyes were closed in a state of meditation. “I am trying to store it in the staff. I read in my spell book that gems do better as a mana battery-”

“That doesn’t sound safe…”

“I’m only taking a teensy bit.”

“It feels nice.” Senshi smiles gently and holds his wine cup in one of his hands. At least he’s finally getting some rest. He takes in a few more swallows of his beer. The citrus flavor is really good.

Chilchuck felt a little better with Senshi, but upon reflection the glamorous elf delicately sipping his wine felt like another liability. Chilchuck still didn’t want to leave, because this is the time when the conversations get juicy. The dwindling number of patrons also made it easier for him to listen in.

A new barkeeper serves them. Asivia had ended her shift an hour ago and left. The tallman barkeeper was older, Chilchuck guessed in his late forties. As he took orders, made and delivered the drinks to the mostly tallman adventurers it was revealed that he was the owner of the tavern.

“Why the hell are you closing after tonight!?” A tallman with a gashing scar across his forehead implores.

“The elf nation has taken ownership of this island’s dungeon. It’s best to sell as much as possible, close shop and move on to another dungeon before the elves bring reinforcements to secure the area.”

“That’s what most people are doing. Every business is so scared shitless of them.” one of the patrons exclams.

“We have every right to be. The elves have no respect for races other than themselves.” the owner says.

Many adventurers shouted in agreement. At that moment, Chilchuck watches Kabru and his girl stroll in and sit down at an empty table. He had his elf ears concealed under a hood. He pretty much appears the same as his tallman form.

“Um, excuse me.” Marcille had walked right up to the shady group of adventurers. Chilchuck didn’t see her get out of her seat at all. An older halfing man with saucer wide eyes weaves out of the group and approaches her.

“Why hello, princess. Can I buy you a drink?” Others peel out to gawk at her. 

“No thank you. I want to ask a question to the tavern owner.”

Chilchuck jumps from his seat and stands over her attempting to appear as daunting as possible. 

“OOOoo big daddy’s here!” “Daddy daughter couple!” “Do we tell him she’s not really a kid?” They sneer and he bears his teeth back at them. His monster troll appearance better be useful for once. He knew he couldn’t fight. The saucer-eyed halfling steps back to his seat. It works just enough to make everyone give them some space. He felt Kabru watch him intensely from across the tavern.

“What did you want to ask me, young lady?”

“Can you tell me what exactly the elves do to make people want to leave?”

“Oh, I can tell you what they do. Say some elf reps from their nation come to this tavern. They can waltz right in and tell me this tavern belongs to them.”

“But won’t they pay for the building?”

“Yeah, but with eminent domain, they can name their price. They got the deepest pockets in the world, but will never give a fair price. ”

“So it’s only a problem if you own property…” One of the patrons says.  “Tsk, Most of us don’t.” Kabru steps up to the bar. 

“Oh, it’s so much more than that. You see the long lived races such as elves have the advantage of time. If you cross them, they can charge you with anything. There’s trials, but you could be waiting for your trial in jail for forty to fifty years. Just being accused of something can be a life sentence.” 

“Exactly! Trying to contest any property they cease and you’ll be waiting at least ten years to get anything out of it. That’s why everyone is selling as much as they can and peeling out.” says the owner. The crowd stirred up. Everyone began chatting among themselves. Kabru seemed proud of himself for getting everyone agitated.

“Funny you would say that.” Chilchuck walks up to Kabru and pulls down his hood. His ears were round and small. He had reverted back to a tallman. “Hey, no fair. How did you turn back so quickly?” Kabru probably wasn’t exposed to the spores as long as the party he was with. His red mage girlfriend swat away his arm.

“Lay off him.” 

“You want to sit with us and chat, Chilchuck or should I call you Cory the tallman?”

“Just Chilchuck, or just don’t say our names at all…” Marcille stays near his legs, hiding behind him.

“I’m guessing Laios’ party still has some loose ends to tie up with the dungeon right?”

“I can’t speak for Laios. My contract with him has ended.”

“Well we still have you, Senshi, and our little friend here.”

“I don’t think we should talk to this creep at all.” Marcille pipes in.

“Hold your tongue.” the red mage tells her. Kabru puts his arm around her.

“Now now. Let’s move to the table and sit down.”

Suddenly, Namari barges in.

“Laios told me to get Senshi! We need him!”

“What’s going on?”

“It’s complicated. Dwarf guild stuff.”

Senshi pops off his barstool and heads over to them while being eyed suspiciously by the adventurer patrons.

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Who is this-” the dwarf girl asks. Elf Senshi flings off Marcille’s robe turning back into fully bearded dwarf Senshi to everyone’s surprise.

“How did you-” 

He hands back the robe to Marcille. “Thank you for letting me borrow this.” he tells her then takes off outside wearing only his underwear. Confused, Namari hesitates before running to the exit. 

“That was him right? Whatever! I’m coming back after we get Laios out of there. Chil, you owe me some drinks, right?! Right!? Bye!” She rushes out. It all happened so fast they stood around dumbfounded.

“If I take off my shirt will I turn back into myself?” Chilchuck wonders outloud and starts pulling up his shirt. The group yells at him to stop.

...

Marcille and Chilchuck sit with Kabru and his girl. Kabru claims to know how the Elves court of law system will work, because he was adopted by a formal Canary. He also tells his backstory of how he survived his homeland’s dungeon collapse. Chilchuck could feel his attention fading.

Finally he interrupts and asks, “When your group returned with Shuro’s group after our encounter with Falin, was it you or Shiro who reported us to the authorities?”

“Chilchuck.” Marcille didn’t seem to like that question.

“I want to know if Shiro snitched on us.”

Kabru smiles and answers, “Does it really matter? It was going to come out. Two days ago many people saw the chimera defending the Mad Mage on the first floor. The Canaries almost killed him then. Cut off an ear and a few fingers.” Marcille put her hands to her face. 

“Was Falin injured too? Was she still not coherent enough to be reasoned with?” Chilchuck grew impatient. 

“Answer my question. Was it you or Shiro?” Chilchuck could feel a tug at his green scarf.

“Come with me for a sec.” Marcille faces the couple, apologizes and drags him away. “Chilchuck lower yourself down a bit.” He crouches down and is abruptly slapped across the face. “You idiot! I want to have a conversation about my future and Falin and I think you had a few too many to be helpful.” She makes a deep sigh. “I get it now. Halflings being treated like children. I can’t believe I am getting it from you of all people. You’ve been at it all night and it’s really getting on my nerves! How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-nine.”

“I’m a great deal amount older than you. Stop babying me. I want you to give me some space so I can have an adult conversation with them.”

“I can respect that. But-”

“Go away and drink something. I will have no more of it.” Marcille returns to the table with Kabru and Chilchuck goes back to the bar side. The group of adventurers laugh and jeer at the drama. He ignores them and orders a whiskey. Men surround him on both sides.

“You interested in a job? We’re trying to round up a mob to burn the governor’s residence down before the elves kill off the dungeon master and take it over. Maybe we can take some of the elves as hostages.” 

So I do have that shady thug appearance. “Are you all fools? The Canaries have magic spells you would not believe. If they can complete monster filled dungeons in hours, imagine what they can do to us. Have you forgotten you can’t be revived on the surface? Absolutely not. I’m not into dying.”

“If we can get a lot of people, it won’t be that dangerous. They have to sleep sometime. Two or three in the morning would be good.”

“Nope. Not interested.” He takes a drink from his whiskey. The group talk among themselves, many of them seeming to get cold feet. Chilchuck holds his empty glass. “It’s not that big of a deal that this one is being shut down. There will always be other dungeons.” He still did not feel drunk, but part of him wanted to sleep. Maybe the alcohol makes him sleepy instead of elated in this body. He is not feeling dejected. Marcille is just his coworker. She had every right to stick up for herself. She’s really an elf. Not a halfling. She said she’s older than me, but she looks like she’s twenty as a halfling. Changeling transformations don’t make sense. He gazes over to her side to see Marcille bailing her eyes out. No. He shouldn’t have left her alone. He knew it’s from something Kabru said to her. Instantly he makes his way over there. He rarely picks a fight, but right now he really feels like punching Kabru to oblivion. Just then, Namari and the party she works for come in, Mr. Tansu the gnome and his two adult tallman children.

Mr. Tansu yells to get everyone’s attention. “Everyone don’t be alarmed! The dungeon had to be completely evacuated including demi humans. We made a truce with the orcs and agreed they can come here without being harmed.” the old gnome announced.  A large band of orc warriors, women, children and a few dog-like monsters called wurgs come in and fill up the tavern. None of the patron adventurers had agreed to this. He had witnessed an orc raid on one of the dungeon taverns resulting in a complete slaughter of all the adventurers there. Protests could be heard on all sides. He searches for Marcille, but couldn’t find her anywhere. He hopes that she has the common sense to hide. Halflings are good at that. Chilchuck wishes he could get out of here, but couldn’t leave until he finds her. The red mage is arguing with Kabru and pulling him to the exit. Panicking patrons and merchants that didn’t look like they could fight flee to the exit as well. Chilchuck recognizes Leed and her older brother Zon among the band of orcs. Zon steps right up to him, smelling his fear. It was wild that he stood slightly shorter than the orc, yet still will be no match for this bulky hog man of pure muscle.

“Like hell we want you here! Leave before we butcher you like pigs!” the adventurer patrons demand.

Leed attempts to yell over the chaos. “We only want food and shelter for the night.” A couple orc females bring handfuls of gold coins and ruby treasures to the bar table. 

“We will take whatever food you have left.” 

The tavern owner firmly crosses his arms. “That treasure is stolen. I’m not selling to you.”

“What was that?!” The orcs yell outraged.

“How about we just kill you all and take this place for ourselves?” Zon says unsheathing his short sword. That set everyone off. Knives and piercing instruments most likely dipped in poison come out of hiding from the adventurers. 

“You can’t kill each other!” Mr. Tansu protests. “You can’t be revived once you are out of the dungeon!”

“If you kill us, we are taking some of your women and children with us.” a man’s voice threatens from the adventurer crowd. The orc women scream and cover their children. 

“Everyone please!” Mr. Tansu calls out in vain. 

“You get out!”, Zon barks.

“No! We were here first!” The groups continue to argue with and threaten each other. Chilchuck realizes he’s in the center of it all between the two adversaries. Zon’s sword is going right into his gut first once a fight breaks out. 

Finally Chilchuck yells as loudly as he can, “Hey! Maybe we can have a nonlethal competition to see who stays!” Everyone froze and turned their attention to him. Again? Does being tall make that much of a difference? Neither party seemed completely on board with the idea, yet they appeared interested in hearing him out. Zon grabbed his shoulder and pulled Chilchuck towards him like a sack of potatoes. 

“Nonlethal you say, long legs? Tell me more.” Leed, a young female orc with pale skin and white hair, gets close to him, gazes up to him giving a toothy grin. 

“I like competitive games. What do you suggest?” Chilchuck draws a blank, struggling to come up with anything. All he needs are some activities that would stall for a few hours until closing.

An orc child tugs at her mother’s skirt and tells her, “I’m hungry.” He sees that there’s still uneaten baskets of bread on the tables.

“We have a lot of bread still. How about an eating contest?” The adventurers grumble. They did not like that suggestion. Orcs are huge, heavy and known for big appetites.  “...Or arm wrestling or cards or something?” Chilchuck’s lacking charisma can only go so far.

“I will pay for all the bread for the eating contest!” Mr. Tansu exclaims at the top of his lungs. 

Leed addresses the adventurers. “We’ll go easy on you. Your top ten biggest eaters against our wee little children.” The orc children poke out of hiding behind their mothers. They were no bigger than tallman toddlers, also the height of most halfling women and older kids. The adventurers, even the rogue types that would most likely hold a grudge on orcs have warmed up to the competition. The tavern owner happily agreed once he worked out a price for all the bread with Mr. Tansu. The same bread that was given out for free an hour before. Chilchuck was sure the gnome knew he’s being ripped off, but anything to prevent the groups from killing each other. For now.

...

Senshi’s cooking skills saves them once again. Chilchuck goes into the kitchen with Namari and the Tansu siblings to fetch the rest of the bread. The sourdough loaf, rye, baguette, and all kinds of bread were laid out in racks. It smells fresh.

“There’s no way Senshi made all this from scratch a few hours ago,” Chilchuck says.

The Tansu sister takes a baguette in her hand and smiles. “There’s a bakery on the first floor that had to move all their merchandise here yesterday. It’s nice that this all will be put to good use.” That makes sense. The bread ingredients were most likely already put together, kneaded and risen. Senshi’s part in the process was baking them. Thank you, Senshi.  

The orcs and the adventurers move four rectangular tables together to form one long dividing table through the dining area. The orcs seat their children at one side of the table. All ten of their little mouths salivate as they watch the baskets of bread being placed on the tables. The adventurer groups were still discussing who to go on their end.

Chilchick tries to hide in the adventurer crowd and looks for Marcille. He runs into Namari instead and remembers to ask about Laios and Senshi.

“Oh yeah um… There's still some stuff going on.” She blushes and explains vaguely on purpose.

“Don’t tell me you just left them to do a job for Mr. Tansu...”

“Laios wanted me to tell you to meet them back at his place to crash for the night.” He gives her a puzzled look and she laughs. “Don’t worry about it! You should have seen it. The dusty old guild members tried to get Laios to take money out of his bank account and the teller wouldn’t let him cause he wasn’t tallman Laios. He lucked out!” The dwarf lady grins and confidently slaps him on his thigh. “They were all good when I left! Laios, that Senshi guy and some of my favorite steel merchants were drinking and chowing down at that dive bar at the end of the block. Not nearly as exciting as this place!” Namari then stands on a chair and gives him puppy eyes. “Chil, I’ve been helping you guys out…don’t you owe me a pint?”

A couple dwarf adventurers interrupt them. “There you are, big guy! You look like you can eat a lot! Come here!” They grab his arms and pull him away. 

They seat him at the last empty spot at the long table. The adventurers picked were mostly heavy set tallman and a couple stumpy dwarfs.  A chubby child’s face beams with anticipation across the table from him. Chilchuck did not want to be a part of this. Zon and Leed worked out the rules with the Tavern owner and some of the shady adventurers that liked to gamble. There will be five different rounds of games. Each side will take turns picking the game. Whichever side loses three rounds first will have to vacate the tavern. 

First round of Orcs vs Adventurers: Eating contest. 

Each participant has a full basket of bread in front of them. Whichever side finishes first wins.

“Orcs vs. Adventurers. Round one. Ready set go!”

The round felt like it was over immediately. The orc children leap onto the table and devour their bread like piglets fighting over a trough of corn. The competition is stunned. Well aware the round is going to be lost, Chilchuck calmly takes one husk of bread out and takes a bite out of it. He chews softly, savoring the buttery taste. Senshi is really talented at baking. A few seconds in, the kid across from him takes his basket and starts eating the bread in there too. The orc children had eaten all of their bread in under a minute. 

The orc side erupts in cheers, “Orcs win! Yeah!” The orc children take the rest of the baskets that had bread and retreat into the crowd of orcs to share their spoils. Before the adventurers have time to complain, Zon introduces the next round.

“The next round we get to choose. It’s going to be arm wrestling, but since you all are so puny we will go easy on you again. You will arm wrestle our women.” Leed flexes her big strong arms to the crowd and pounds her fist into her hand.

2nd round of Orcs vs Adventurers: Arm wrestling.

“Oh! I got this!” Namari shouts with delight. The dwarf had pretty beefy arms herself. The five on each side of the tables were more evenly matched. Leed and four brawny female orcs against Namari, two other dwarf women, a male dwarf and a tallman that, thank goodness, wasn’t him. Chilchuck resumes looking for Marcille as everyone watches. He spots not her per say, but her staff poking out of the wall by the fireplace. The area around the fireplace had the tables moved so that the orcs could spread out blankets. They were settling their kids down to sleep in the corner while the adults sat around them forming a barrier. His approach resulted in a low growl from one of their monster companion wurgs. Oh to be small and unnoticed again. 

“Hey… you.” He didn’t want to call out her name because he still didn’t want to reveal her identity. An orc woman with braided black hair gives him a dirty look. “Mar- Halfling with the staff. Please come over.” The staff shakes a bit and slowly floats over to him. Marcille takes off her hood revealing her head. The rest of her looked blended in with the floor and walls. The staff that used to have a wreath of white daisy flowers only had about a dozen left. She must have casted a camouflage spell on her old robe. “Thank goodness you’re safe. Let’s get out of here.”

“You should buy a drink for Namari or I should. Look how hard she’s going.” Chilchuck stood up tall over the crowd and saw her arm wrestling Leed. Leed and Namari were both flushed red in the face, arms strained, shaking. Neither wanted to give. At last Namari roars and slams the back of Leed’s fist into the table.

“Oh Yeah!” She hollers, raising both her arms over her head.

Leed grins devilishly. “Too bad the rest of my girls beat you all.” Namari looks over and sees the rest of her team completely drained of energy. The orc side celebrates among themselves for a second time.

Chapter Text

“We get to pick the third round game and it’s going to be dice!” The curly bearded dwarf from the adventurer side announces. Every less than savory adventurer takes out their loaded dice and trick cups. They intend to cheat through this one. Zon broadly smiles and welcomes them to the table. Chilchuck figures the orcs didn’t seem to mind losing this round since they already are ahead by two. It was a good thing the adventurers didn’t play this right away, because orcs are terrible losers when it comes to games of chance. Heads would have rolled if the adventurers won the first round playing dice.
“Everyone’s distracted. Let’s sneak out of here.” He whispers in a hushed tone to Marcille.
The halfling’s hand twitches as she holds her staff. “Can’t. Guards are waiting outside to arrest me. Kabru’s here watching me. He will let them know as soon as I leave.”
Chilchuck looks around. “I thought he left with the mage," he says.
“Rin did make Kabru leave with her, but he came back without her knowing. He lied and told her he was going home. He is spectating in the back corner table on the other side of the room. He enjoys watching conflicts such as these.” Marcille’s perception skills are getting scary.
“If that’s the case we should wait until the pubs close. Leaving with drunken crowds will make it easier to get by them.” He hesitates then asks, “If I may, what did he tell you that made you so upset?”
“He said it’s over. I should give up on Falin and turn myself in. Other things too, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Hey long-legs creep. Move away from our children. You’re getting too close.” An orc female shoos him away. Marcille puts her hood over her head and hides among them. The third round is going longer than the previous two, so Chilchuck goes back to the bar to get another drink. He sees Namari walking away from the bar with a beer in each hand.
“Hey, I found out you got a tab going so I helped myself. You don’t mind right?”
“That’s all you get, Namari. No more on my tab.”
“Got it.” She joins Mr. Tansu and his adult children at their table.

Chilchuck returns to the bar. He didn’t really know what to get this time. Leed stood behind the bar area gathering items from the kitchen. She had various bottles of booze, wine and fruits. She opens the bottles, smells inside and makes a disgusted face. The tavern owner next to her tries to make conversation.
“Go ahead. Help yourself.” He’s sure acting much nicer to the orcs after Mr. Tansu paid him.
“Nice place you got here.” She took a large obsidian knife off her pelt skirt and split a green melon in half on the table. She does the same with lemons, oranges, and apples. “First carve the fruit out of the peels. Make a fist. Then smash it. Squeeze all the juices from them. And smash it down some more.” She takes more spices from the kitchen, pours a bit on her hand, sniffs and tastes them. She tosses brown powdered spice into the bowl with the rest of the mush. “Add fire dust… and some cini dust.”
“I’m sorry we have come to a misunderstanding before Miss. How much treasure do you all have? Would you consider buying this place?”, the tavern owner asks her.
“Oh. Well I’ll have to talk to my brother about that.”
Chilchuck decides to give her some advice. “If you actually go through with buying the place make sure he gives you a deed to the property. If you don’t have the ownership on paper, it didn’t happen.”
Leed turns her head to the owner. “What he said.”
“I will make sure to get that for you. We can discuss this further with your brother and you after closing.” The tavern owner left Leed alone. He did not bring up whatever she was doing to his food and drink perhaps out of fear. He starts to make his way to the other guests collecting tabs.
“It’s probably not a good idea, because the elves will take over this town in a few weeks.”, Chilchuck says.
Leed grunts. “Those long ears don’t scare us.”

Chilchuck checks the time to see that it's two hours until closing. He should look outside to see if there really were guards waiting. Sleepy fog settles into his brain, waving his worries away. He’ll do it later. He had a feeling Kabru wanted to scare Marcille into turning herself in. There's so much people could get away with if they don't give in to pressure from these lawful types. Leed passes a glass of green mush to him.
“Here. Try this.” The glass contained whatever she was smashing into pieces on the bar table. An awful mess remained where she worked. She made a bowl of it for herself and is slurping it up. Chilchuck shrugs his shoulders and pours a bottle of rum within reach into the glass and chugged it. He almost choked. The aftertaste burnt his mouth. At least he felt this one. His head is swimming, yet his insides also melt with pain. Perhaps this is it for tonight. He holds in a cough. “Aww glad to see you can take it, Chilchuck.”
“Oh. You can tell it's me?” Her big round blue eyes soften and she points to her button pink nose.
“I can smell through your silly disguise. You're still the same coward you always were. How did you convince your party to give up on their mission?”
“We couldn't make it any farther once we hit the pitch black labyrinth level. We all agreed to get out while we can.” He knew to her he's making excuses, but it's the truth. She leans over the table gleefully.
“You know... that was the last floor. You all were so close to the dungeon master's home.”
His eyes glare into hers. “Good. The lunatic would have wiped us all out.”

A voice interrupts them from below. “Chilchuck?”
Chilchuck turns and gazes down from his seat to find Dandan, his old associate from the guild that had referred him over to Laios for employment. The man is another halfling with thick black hair and freckles. “It is you Chilchuck! Who the hell else would wear that ugly green scarf?!”
“Dandan, when did you get here?”
“I was here the whole time you big piece of shit! You didn't have to ignore me!” Chilchuck made a gesture bringing his hand to forehead as if he was searching. “Oooh I didn't see you there.” Dandan's face turns red. He jumps up and down swinging his arms at him in a vain attempt to sock Chilchuck in the jaw. The tallman smiles down at him smugly. It is kinda funny making short people mad.
“Fuck you, old man! Tell me! How did you get so huge?!” A gnome came up next to the halfling. He had seen the young man in Kabru's party as the designated healer.
“I would like to know that as well.” The changeling tallman spins his stool around to face them. He places his hands on his knees and slowly draws in a breath. They wait attentively.
“Magic.” Chilchuck explains. “The dungeon's magic turned me into a tallman. It should wear off in a few hours.” He wanted to avoid the word “changeling” around another halfling to avoid a touchy subject. He had expected the vague-dull-magic-excuse response would have sent them on to bother someone else. Instead the gnome's face lit up with delight.
“Ohh I'm well versed in magic. Do you know what spell it is? If not, can I examine you?”
“I'm not sure what magic it is. I suppose you can if you can cure me, doc. Also prefer not to leave this seat.” He turns his head back to Leed while the two gibber to themselves.
“Holm, you got to find out that spell so you can cast it on me.” Dandan says to the gnome.
“Yeah, I too would look more attractive if I was taller...”
Leed puts her large elbows on the table and cradles her head in her hands watching them in amusement. She mouths the words to him. 'You big liar.' Surely he could think of a good comeback to her after she criticizes their failure to recover Falin. He felt Holm pull at his leg.
“What are you doing?!”
“Trying to find out what spell was cast on you. Quit being distracted by the orc lady.” Dandan holds his boot while Holm sticks his nose up to it.
“Don't take it off, his foot will stink up the whole place.” Dandan warns him.
“But I wanted to prick each of his toes to see if he feels pain..”
“Don't.” Chilchuck insists.
“Ok then just tell me if you feel pressure.” Holm presses on his ankle up to his knee. Every time the gnome squeezed he said he felt it. He did the same with his other leg and arms up to his elbows.
“Ok so you are not on stilts or using puppetry. It feels like skin and flesh. It's not an illusion spell.” Holm pauses to think then faces Dandan.
“Was Chilchuck the same size as you before?”
“About. Chil is a bit taller.”
“So about the same weight. Dandan, let me lift you.” He lifts the halfling off the ground. “You're pretty light.”
“All halflings are light.”, Dandan tells him. They size up Chilchuck. Dandan lifts his legs while the other tries to grab his lower waist. They couldn't move him. “He's heavy like really heavy.”
“Chilchuck can we take you to a scale to see how much weight you gained?” Holm asks.
Chilchuck’s face flushed. “Absolutely not! I don't want to know! Dandan, why do you even want to be a tallman? You'd lose your career as a lock pick and trap remover.” Together they laugh at him.
“I want to be tall to pick up tall girls you, dunce!”, Dandan exclaims.
“Most tall ladies won't even consider dating a guy under five feet tall.” Holm shyly admits.
“Think of how many more ladies I can get laid with... Unless there's some kind of catch.” Dandan begins to feel up his leg resulting in a swift kick in the chest. The halfling lands on his back on the wooden floor.
“All right. Exam’s over. Did you figure it out, doc?”
“I conclude... you are not really Chilchuck.”
Skeptical, Chilchuck couldn’t help, but grin. “Really? That's disappointing.”
“It's like Chilchuck switched his mind with a tallman, or a tallman got Chilchuck's memories OR a tallman is pretending to be Chilchuck.”
“The hell?! I am Chilchuck Tims!”, the tallman yells. They snicker.
“Chilchuck would be a lot more drunk and he would have got some ass by now.” He got off his chair and got them both in a headlock.
“Screw you two!” They struggle, yet they also continue to tease him.
“He's probably holding out for the blond halfling girl.” Dandan says.
“Don't even say it!” He squeezes harder.
“She kinda looks like-.” he flusters. Out of the blue, Leed calls down to them.
“You were so close, little men! It's changeling mushrooms!” The three freeze.
“Oh yes! Of course! Changeling makes total sense!” the gnome declares. Chilchuck lets go of them. Dandan dusts himself off as if he touched something filthy.
“Eww changeling spores. I'm going to wash up.” He crawls over the bar table and into the kitchen behind Leed out of sight.
“Now that I have an idea of what to look for.” Holm holds up his hand over the tallman and closes his eyes in concentration. “I can sense an unusual amount of mana radiating from you. It's like the dungeon mana is following you. The spirits around you are a little bit upset.” He turns to Leed. “How did you know, Miss Orc?”
“My tribe had a run in with those mushrooms while they were exploring the 5th floor several years ago. The leaders before my brother thought that they could use it's transformative powers to do recon on the surface dwellers, but each one that let themselves be changed all ended their lives in tragedy.” She was confirming Chilchuck's apprehension over his condition he felt all along.
“What happened?” Chilchuck asks. He dreads knowing the details yet…
“Yeah, What happened?” The top of Dandan’s head could barely be seen over the bar table beside Leed.
“Oh. Lots of things. Some were discovered and murdered. Others went to the surface and never came back. The few that came back to the tribe were thought to be outsiders and were killed. They only turned back into orcs after they died.”
Chilchuck thought for a moment. “You know I remember a story about a group of women in this area who each had babies born with tails out of wedlock. They described their lover as the ideal man, his appearance different for each girl. People thought he was a magic using shapeshifter, but now thinking about it, maybe it was the changeling mushrooms that allowed him to do that. The authorities eventually captured the culprit and put him to death.”
“That sucks.” Dandan sighs in disappointment. Leed clenches her teeth.
“Because he was an orc. You see? Changeling mushrooms are no good! They turn friends and family into strangers. People who change will always be completely rejected! To become a changeling is to become utterly repulsive!”
Or the opposite effect. I can't stop seeing Marcille as a familiar face.