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Ever since the Ozdust Ball, Galinda and Elphaba’s relationship had improved markedly. Friends might be a stretch, but there was an understanding between them. A tolerance. They weren't friends, but they were friendly.
It made the betrayal infinitely more devastating, when it happened.
Elphaba was in the library, working on an essay on the history of Animal art critique for Dr. Dillamond’s class. It was a much more difficult—and controversial—topic than was required, but that had never stopped her before. Finding sources had been hard, though, especially in Shiz’s limited library.
She could hear Galinda a few tables away, giggling with her friends. It was rare that she made an appearance here, but Shenshen and Pfanee seemed to be telling—convincing—Galinda of something, maybe? Elphaba tried to refocus on her essay. Couldn’t they talk somewhere else?
They finally quieted down for a minute, and Elphaba was finally getting into a flow writing when—
“Elphie?” Elphaba heard from behind her. “Could we… talk?”
Galinda looked uncharacteristically nervous, hands gently crumpling the pink tulle of her dress. Elphaba couldn't imagine why.
“Um… sure I guess?” She replied, distracted. “I'm just working on my paper for Dillamond.”
“Excellent, come with me!” Galinda chirped and pulled Elphaba bodily out of her seat. Galinda was deceptively strong—Elphaba very nearly fell out of her chair.
For such a short person, Galinda moved incredibly fast. Her slim legs swished mesmerizingly under the layers of puffy pink fabric, and her hair bounced like—not that Elphaba was looking. Galinda walked fast, was the point.
She pulled Elphaba into an empty hallway, and took a deep breath. She was standing closer to Elphaba than maybe she ever had before. She couldn't quite tell if this was normal for friends—having never had one before—but it allowed her to study Galinda’s face closely, so Elphaba wasn't complaining.
She'd never seen Galinda look so nervous about anything, ever. Her eyes—a deep, warm brown, and framed by immaculate makeup—were impossibly large.
On anyone else, they would've seemed strange, buglike even; but Galinda must have had some magical property to make them beautiful on her. Perhaps it was a side effect of popularity.
“Elphie,” Galinda said, “I'm so glad that we've been becoming closerified these past few weeks.”
“Uhm, me too,” Elphaba said. Galinda's face was awfully close to hers. Did she stand this close to Shenshen or Pfanee when she was talking to them? Was this a new form of psychological torture? She thought they were done with that. Wait, what was Galinda saying?
“—I know it must be shocking,” Galinda said. “I mean even I was shocked and I'm, well, me. Who would expect me to have feelings for you ? But I did—I do.”
“Wha—what?” was all Elphaba managed to say. She's never been so inarticulate in her entire life. Before she had even consciously processed what Galinda was saying, she could feel the heat growing in her stomach.
“I like you,” Galinda said bluntly. In direct contrast to Elphaba, continuing the conversation seemed to be having a calming effect on her. She'd probably done this before—no doubt hundreds of people had done this to her.
Had done this for real, had meant it. Because if there was one thing Elphaba knew, it was that no one who said those words to her had ever, ever meant them. Even her family—who she knew loved her, albeit in their own flawed ways—they didn't like her. Elphaba wasn’t a fool; she knew she wasn't a likeable person. She'd stopped wishing to be one a long time ago. She'd gotten used to it in grade school when boys would ask her out on dares, and in high school when girls would never ask at all.
Somehow, she'd believed that she and Galinda were past outright cruelty.
“What is wrong with you?” Elphaba gritted out. “You're either far more sadistic or have even less of a spine than I thought. Did someone put you up to this? Was it Shenshen? Pfanee?”
Elphaba always tried to keep her emotions under control—magic, while often a satisfying short-term solution, generally resulted in awful and long-lasting consequences. But she hadn't experienced this particular kind of humiliation in a long time, and she’d nearly forgotten how painful it was. Her long fingernails bit into her hands where they were clenched into fists at her side.
“Elphie, what are you talk—”
“Don't Elphie me!” Elphaba shouted. “Making me cry at the Ozdust wasn't enough, is that it? You had to come back for more!”
“I don't understand,” Galinda said. She looked utterly bewildered. “It's fine if you don't like me back, but why are you so angry ?”
“You think I don't know? My life might just be just entertainment to you. But I know a dare when I see one.”
“It’s not.” Galinda said quietly. “No one dared me to do anything. I like you.”
“Stop,” Elphaba buried her face in her hands. “Stop it! I know you're lying!”
“I mean it. I like you.”
“I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you would do this to me even after everything. Using my feelings against me, to hurt me—”
“You don't have to like me, Elphie.” Galinda interrupted. “All I’m asking is that you believe m—wait. What feelings?”
For a long moment, neither of them spoke. To her horror, Elphaba could feel her face beginning to crumple. And so, she did something she hadn’t done in a long time—maybe ever. Elphaba Thropp turned and ran.
————————————————————
Galinda was not quite sure where it all went wrong.
Elphaba, she knew, was not always a particularly nice person. But she was always, invariably, a kind person. Sometimes even to her own detriment; after all, she had got Galinda into sorcery lessons with Madame Morrible when the two of them were still enemies, just because she thought Galinda had been kind to her sister. She'd been vulnerable at the Ozdust after Galinda had set her up for humiliation. She'd accepted Galinda's friendship, in the aftermath.
Galinda had only been brave enough to confess her feelings because she thought that the worst case scenario would be being let down easy. Elphaba was simply too kind to do anything else.
It seemed that she'd been wrong.
It was new ground for her. She'd never had to be brave before, when it came to romance—to anything really, before the Ozdust—but particularly not in romance. A few subtle hints and the object if her affections would usually find themselves under her spell, almost like magic.
No such luck with Elphaba. The green girl was so very unaware of what constituted friendship, she couldn't tell when Galinda tried to cross the line. And they had so recently been enemies, Galinda supposed some amount of clear communication was in order.
She'd never imagined that such a frank confession could be taken so terribly.
Galinda shook herself. She would have to clear up the misunderstanding with Elphaba somehow, and what was it that Elphaba had said at the end? Something about her feelings?
Galinda hurried back to the book place, praying to Oz that neither Shenshen nor Pfanee would still be there. That, at least, came true, and Galinda packed up Elphaba’s things to bring back to their room. Elphie would be wanting all her books and papers, Galinda was sure.
The walk to their room wasn't particularly long, but Galinda stretched it out as much as she could. Elphie had thought she was playing some sort of prank on her. Had someone done that to her before? How truly despicablicus! How could anyone do something that awful on purpose, to humiliate her poor Elphi—well.
She’d done just that, hadn't she? Perhaps not with romance, but with the promise of friendship. She'd dangled the possibility of belonging in front of Elphaba in the form of a hat, and then sat and watched Shiz laugh in her face when she took the bait. Galinda might have taken it back, had embraced Elphaba in the aftermath, but it was a wonder she spoke to Galinda at all.
Galinda knocked softly at the door of their room before pushing it open.
“Elphi—aba?” Galinda said uncertainly. “It’s me.”
The lights in the room were dim, and Elphaba was curled up as small as Galinda had ever seen her, firmly tucked under her covers.
“I, um. I brought your things back from the library,” Galinda said. “Can we talk?”
“I don’t have anything to say,” Elphaba said stiffly. She was facing away from Galinda, her words muffled by her pillow.
“Well, then maybe you could listen to me for just one more minute?” Galinda asked hopefully.
She’d never been so concerned about hurting someone’s feelings before. It was exhausting . Is this how other people lived all the time? How did they stand it? She put Elphaba’s books down on her desk and her bag on her chair before perching on her own bed. She could barely see Elphaba’s head poking out of the comforter; the rich, dark green of the back of Elphie’s neck, the sleek, slim braids pooling around it.
“I wanted to apologize,” Galinda said when Elphie didn’t respond. “Not—not for what I said today—I meant it all, I really did—but for what I did at the Ozdust.”
“I hurt you then, unimaginably so, and I felt bad afterward, but I didn’t realize…” Galinda trailed off. “So very many people have been cruel to you, Elphie, and I’m ashamed to have been one of them. And I know it isn’t enough, but all I know to do now is to say that I’m sorry.”
“I know you don’t have a reason to believe me, but I haven’t meant to hurt you since the Ozdust. I would-n’t,” Galinda said. Her voice cracked, but for once there was a little steel in it, under all the froth. “And I promise you, I won’t. Ever again.”
There was a long moment of silence before Elphaba moved at all. Finally, she sat up in her bed, still pointedly looking away. She rubbed roughly at her eyes before finally turning to Glinda.
“You really meant it?” Elphaba said hoarsely, unbelieving. “When you said you… You like me?”
“I really, really do,” Galinda said, unable to keep a small smile off her face.
“I’ve been hurt before,” Elphaba said. “I don’t think I could take it if you did it too. Not like this.”
Galinda slid off her bed, closed the few feet between them.
“Can I…” she gestured vaguely at the edge of the bed next to Elphaba, who nodded. Galinda sat down, looking at Elphaba’s face closely now. Her cheeks were flushed a darker green than they normal, and despite her attempt to wipe them away, Elphie’s eyes still sparkled with tears.
“I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you again,” Galinda said. She reached for Elphaba’s hand, felt the row of crescent imprints from her nails on the palm. “But I swear, I’ll never do it on purpose.”
“What you did at the Ozdust,” Elphaba said shakily. “It wasn’t okay. I’m not okay about it.”
“I know,” Galinda said simply. “I’m sorry.” There was nothing else to say.
“Okay,” Elphie said after a moment. “Okay.” Some of the tension drained from Elphaba’s body, and she seemed to slump forward a little in relief. They sat together for a while; Galinda couldn’t tell if it had been seconds or minutes or hours when she spoke again. She pulled herself further onto the bed, atop the covers, closer to Elphaba.
“Sorry for making you cry,” Galinda said, reaching out a hand to stroke the chapped, flushed skin of Elphaba’s cheek. The tears were from Elphaba’s body, and salt rather than fresh water, so they weren’t quite as damaging as rain would have been; but it ached all the same to know that she had caused Elphaba pain. In yet another way.
“It happens,” Elphaba said cautiously. Her head turned almost imperceptibly, nuzzling her cheek into Galinda’s palm. “Tears aren’t so bad, really. It’s like a tan or a light sunburn more than anything else.”
Elphaba closed her eyes, letting another tear fall, and Galinda caught it before it could reach her skin. Elphaba took a deep breath, gathering her courage for a moment, before looking up. Galinda let her hand fall slowly, back to the sheets.
“So… I hear you like me,” Elphaba said softly. Her hand flexed almost imperceptibly before she reached out to hold Galinda’s.
“I don’t know if you noticed—I kind of spilled the beans earlier, but—well,” Elphaba’s voice was the quietest Galinda had ever heard it. “I like you too.”
“Oh, Elphie—you don’t actually mind if I call you Elphie, do you?” Galinda asked, suddenly worried.
“No, I—I like it actually. From you,” Elphaba said, hiccuping a laugh.
“Elphie,” Galinda said, and it was somehow simultaneously both the most earnest and firm Elphaba had ever heard her sound. Galinda leaned in suddenly, and wrapped her arms around Elphaba. “I’m so glad.”
Elphaba sank into the hug like a hot bath—she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been hugged like this, properly, not just a perfunctory hello or goodbye to her sister. It made her feel safe.
Perhaps this time—just this once—wishing wouldn’t break her heart.