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Starfucker is exhausted. Ze has spent the better part of a week down in hell, dealing with whatever petty bullshit the other demons have going on. One of them showed up at his door, insisting ze come and help. Apparently whatever rift they’d caused could only be solved by zem.
Ze doesn’t even live in hell anymore. The last time ze went back was before Soulsucker started living with zem. That was, what, six months ago? Did it only take six months for hell to create a problem they couldn’t solve without zem?
All ze wants is to lie down on the couch with zer head in Soulsucker’s lap. He has gotten into the habit of playing with zer hair and it feels so nice. They spend a lot of their time together in silence, touching as much as possible, absorbing each other’s company. It burns, but who cares? Neither of them have anywhere else to be, any responsibility except to each other.
The house is quiet when Starfucker comes in through the front door. Ze doesn’t think this is odd. Soulsucker will find himself a place to sit - the window seat, the kitchen table, the porch chair in the backyard - and stay there unmoving for hours, days if left unattended. He doesn’t breathe so he sits like a statue, like stone or ice.
If Starfucker comes up to him, though, he will turn and smile at zem. Closed mouth, awkward but genuine. Such a pretty smile, like the sun shining through clouds. Ze could stare at him for hours. Sometimes ze does.
“Soul, love!” Ze shouts as ze stands in the hallway untying zer shoes.
Soulsucker doesn’t answer. That isn’t unusual either. He gets lost in his own thoughts all the time, watching an animal in their garden or a human on the street. It’s endearing, how fascinated he is by them. Ze supposes ze is used to it by now, the hustle and bustle of Earth life.
Heaven isn’t like this, ze remembers. It’s barren, lifeless, an endless expanse of empty white. It’s… lonely. That’s probably why Soulsucker always follows zem from room to room - he doesn’t want to be alone again. And that's fine - ze doesn't want to be alone either.
“Soul~” Starfucker sing-songs as ze walks around the ground floor. “Baby, where are you?”
There’s no sign of him downstairs. On the counter, there’s a half-full mug of tea. Again, not unusual. Soulsucker doesn’t care about drinking tea. He just likes the warmth. Once it has gone cold he loses interest. Ze is always finding half drunk mugs of tea sitting in random places around the house.
Ze touches the mug. Ice cold. He didn’t drink this recently. To be fair, ze has been gone for nearly a week so this could have been here for up to that long.
“Honey?” Starfucker calls as he walks up the stairs. “Where are you at?”
Still, no answer. Ze walks around the second floor of the house, looking under beds and in wardrobes. Any small space that Soulsucker might have curled up into. Nothing.
Shit. Was ze gone too long? Did he leave? Ze didn’t have time to tell him where ze was going, or to leave a note. Has he gone out looking for zem?
Okay, stay calm. Who would’ve seen him?
“Otto.” Starfucker shouts over the fence. It’s dark but Otto is out in the garden, burying… something. Ze doesn’t have the capacity to figure it out right now. “Have you seen Soul?”
“Do you two not talk to each other?” Otto asks, leaning on his shovel. He's remarkably unbothered to be caught doing this in the middle of the night. “He’s been looking for you for days.”
“Oh.” Ze mutters. Shit, ze really should have said something before ze left. “Did you see him go out at all?”
“No, I haven’t seen him since yesterday. Awsten hasn’t either, he asked me about Soul this morning. Said he’s worried about him, and you.” Otto shrugs. “You two should really get phones so you can text each other.”
“Maybe.” Starfucker mumbles. “Do you have any idea where he could be?”
Otto shakes his head. “Sorry, no clue. Geoff said he might have gone to visit his dad, though.”
“His… dad?” Starfucker feels a pit open up in his stomach.
“Well, Geoff said Father, but y'know.” Otto gestures vaguely. “Same difference.”
“Right, um, thank you.” Starfucker steps back from the fence, pauses for a moment, then hurries inside.
Fuck. If Soulsucker has gone back to heaven, that’s bad. He didn’t do what he was told - kill Starfucker. Unless he somehow thought ze was dead when ze vanished. Oh, fuck, this is all zer fault.
Ze needs to calm down. Ze needs to think logically. What can ze do about this?
Nothing. If he’s in heaven, it’s already too late. If he isn’t, then he’s still somewhere on Earth and ze can’t contact them. The only way ze will see him again is if he comes home, or they cross paths somehow. The latter isn’t very likely - Earth is a big place for such a small planet.
So ze just has to wait for him. That’s okay, ze has done that before. They spent two millennia only seeing each other once in a blue moon. Ze would wander around places that other demons had spotted Soulsucker, looking for him. Sometimes ze found him but he ran away. Sometimes they could talk. Eventually, after that day in the park, he would hang out with zem.
Starfucker checks on all zer plants, and is about to go around and check the garden when the ground starts to shake. Slowly, the garden starts to get brighter, like the sun is coming up, but it's still the middle of the night. Ze looks up to see a fiery light bearing down on them. Immediately, ze knows what it is. The only thing it can be.
A fallen angel. A falling angel.
“Otto, get inside!” Starfucker yells.
Otto doesn’t have to be told twice. He sees the meteor coming down on them, drops his shovel and runs into his house. Starfucker tries to figure out where it’s going to land. Ze has to catch it, or it’ll burn everything within a block.
It might burn zem too, but ze has always considered humans more important.
Ze braces zemself as ze gets under it. The falling angel hits zem in the chest and ze curls zemself around it, rolling so it doesn’t touch the ground until it has slowed down significantly. When it has, ze lays it on the grass, trying to get a better look at it.
Its wings are gone, hacked off stems bleeding ichor onto the grass. Its halo is shattered into pieces, buried into the top of its head. Red hair, black cloak, a camo tank top underneath. Rings in the shape of eyes adorn its burning fingers.
“Soul.” Starfucker breathes. “Oh, what did you do?”
Soulsucker groans, eyes squeezed shut. He tries to curl in on himself, writhing in pain. Scratches cover his face, burns up and down his arms. There’s not a part of him that hasn’t been damaged.
“It’s okay.” Ze says, keeping zer panic barely below the surface. Ze doesn’t like lying to him but ze doesn’t know what else to do. “You’re gonna be alright.”
Ze scoops him up and carries him inside. He whines as ze lays him down on the couch, face down so ze can get a better look at his broken wings.
Not broken. Removed . Like someone hacked them off. Ze hugs him tight.
“I told you not to fall.” Starfucker whispers against his neck, shaking so hard that ze can’t see straight.
“Didn’t.” He mumbles, hazy and unfocused. “I jumped.”
“Fuck.” Starfucker kisses him on the cheek, and realises it doesn’t burn. Touching him doesn’t burn at all. Ze feels the world closing in around zem but fights it back. Now is not the time to fall into despair. “Okay, let me help you.”
Ze sits back and surveys the damage. The stumps of his wings are still bleeding steadily. If ze doesn’t stop it, he could die. That’s the thing - angels are immortal but demons are not. Is Soulsucker a demon now? That would be awful.
“This is gonna hurt.” Ze mumbles, both to zemself and to him.
Ze puts zer hand flat on his back and takes a deep breath. This has to happen, for him. No matter the consequence, Soulsucker has to survive. Starfucker doesn't have anyone else.
Slowly, ze starts to pray.
It burns, clawing up zer throat like bile. Ze pushes through, choking on each word. The wounds on his back slowly start to close, and he reaches up to grab zer wrist.
“Stop.” He croaks. “Hurtin’ yourself.”
“You’ll bleed to death.” Ze insists. This is the first time Soulsucker has spoken to him without it being full, unabridged sentences. It all sounds so wrong. “You have to let me do something.”
“‘M fine.” He mumbles. “S’nothing.”
“Soul, your wings are gone.” Ze puts zer hand between his shoulder blades. The beautiful white feathers that he used to wrap around zem while they slept are just… not there anymore. It's inconceivable - ze feels sick. “I’ve never seen them do this to an angel before, what did you do?”
He shrugs, his muscles flexing under zer hand. “I told Him I love you.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Starfucker sobs, then almost screams when he doesn’t flinch. Ichor drips down the stubs of his wings, slower now but still steadily bleeding. “What can I do? If you won’t let me pray for you, what can I do?”
“Don’t know.” Soulsucker admits. “I love you.”
“I love you too, you big fucking idiot.” Starfucker presses a kiss to the side of his head, then has an idea. “Stay right there, do not move.”
It’s not like he could move much anyway, but he nods. Ze gets up and runs out of their front door. Then ze hammers on Awsten and Otto’s door as hard as ze can. Quickly, Otto opens it, looking concerned and a little terrified.
“What the hell was that?” He asks.
“I don’t have time to explain it. Is Geoff here?” Ze begs. “Please, I need his help.”
Otto yells up the stairs for Geoff. It’s the middle of the night, so it takes him a while to get to the front door, a yawning Awsten in tow.
“Are you still a priest?” Ze asks him.
“Technically.” He puts his arm around Awsten, who leans into him with another yawn. “Are you alright?”
“Do you know how to help a fallen angel?”
“What the fuck is going on right now?” Otto asks, exasperated.
“I’ll explain when I get back. Look after him.” Geoff shoves Awsten into Otto’s arms, grabs his bag from beside the door, and follows Starfucker back to the house.
Starfucker explains what happened - coming back to an empty house, Soulsucker falling from the sky, his missing wings. At some point during this explanation, ze starts to cry. Geoff crouches down beside Soulsucker and pets his hair.
“How are you doing, buddy?” Geoff asks gently.
“Hi.” Soulsucker mumbles. It’s unclear if he recognises Geoff, if he cares. “Hurts.”
“I know, I’m here to help.” Geoff sits cross legged on the floor and digs through his bag. “What’s something you like, Soul? Something we can get you right now.”
“Star.” He whispers. Ze feels like zer heart is about to burst out of zer chest.
Geoff chuckles. “Other than Star, ze’s already here.”
“Tea.”
“Star,” Geoff asks gently. “Can you get Soul a cup of tea for me?”
“Um, yeah, okay.” Starfucker kisses Soulsucker on the side of the head and tries not to cry again when it still doesn’t burn. “I’ll be right back honey.”
Starfucker goes into the kitchen and rummages through the cupboards. Ze and Soulsucker have an ongoing battle about where certain things should go. They both keep moving stuff around and then bickering about it. As a result, ze has no idea where anything is. Ze was gone for a week and it appears he moved literally everything in that time.
Eventually, ze finds his tea stash in the stupidest possible place - as far away from the kettle as it can get. Ze stares at it for a while, trying to decide what he’ll want to drink. There’s so many different types of tea in here. Soulsucker doesn’t work off of taste so much as he does sensation. He has particular brands of teas that he likes, but he’s always picking up new ones at farmer’s markets and produce shops.
Ze picks an apple and cinnamon one at random and fills the kettle. Geoff mumbles softly from the other room, but ze resists the urge to go check on them. Ze has one task - make tea. If that’s what Soulsucker wants, that’s what ze will do.
When Starfucker returns to the living room, Geoff is kneeling on the carpet with a bible in his lap. His hand rests on Soulsucker’s shoulder. The bleeding has stopped, and his eyes are half closed like he’s asleep.
“Why is there a bible in my house?” Ze asks as ze places the tea down on the coffee table.
“Do you want me to help him or not?” Geoff looks up at zem with raised eyebrows.
“Are you helping?”
“I’m trying.” Geoff shrugs. “You said praying helps, and I’m the only person here who can pray without hurting themself, so…”
“It’s better.” Soulsucker carefully pushes himself up into a sitting position. “I am fine, I promise.”
“I’m not an expert, but if the ichor-leak has stopped that’s a good sign. If it starts up again I might have to sew him up, but… I don’t have the resources for that, so don’t do anything stupid.” Geoff sighs. “Angel-surgery is so fucking complicated.”
“How do you know how to do angel-surgery?” Starfucker asks as ze sits down on the couch besides Soulsucker. As if on instinct, he puts his head in zer lap and sighs. Ze slides zer fingers into his hair.
Geoff picks up his bag and shoves his bible into it. “It’s mostly theoretical. If you spend long enough in the Church you learn some weird shit. I took up this instead of exorcism, basically.”
“Well, thank you.” Starfucker scratches zer nails against Soulsucker’s scalp. “You should go to bed, it's late.”
“Call me if you need me.” Geoff leaves, and once Starfucker is sure he’s out of the house, ze bursts into tears.
“What the fuck did you do?!” Ze shakes his shoulder, so angry that ze can’t see straight. “Couldn’t you have waited for me to come back?”
“I thought an angel took you.” He whispers. “I went to rescue you.”
“What? Why would you think that?”
“Otto saw someone who looked like me talking to you.” He explains. “I thought you had been kidnapped.”
“It was another demon! They needed my help, I didn’t think I’d be gone for more than a few hours.” Ze curls around him, pressing zer face into his hair. “I’m so sorry , sweetheart, I never meant for this to happen.”
“It was always going to happen, one way or another. This story does not end any other way.” He rolls onto his back and stares up at zem. “I don’t mind. You don’t burn me anymore.”
“Is that all you care about?”
“The only thing I have ever cared about is you.”
“Shut up.” Starfucker smacks him on the arm, getting hysterical again. “Shut up. You fucking idiot, I can’t believe you did this to yourself.”
“Star.” Soulsucker sits up in zer laps and takes zer face in his hands. “You cannot change it and neither can I. Just accept that you are stuck with me forever.”
“That’s not what I’m upset about.” Ze leans zer cheek against his shoulder. “You got hurt because of me.”
“I got hurt because I defied my Father. I was doing that long before I met you. Like I said, this story does not end any other way.” He bumps their noses together. “But I am glad that it ended up with me and you.”
Starfucker sniffs and wipes zer eyes. He has a point. “What do we do now?”
“Whatever we want.” He wraps an arm around zem. “Right now I would like to take a nap with you.”
And Starfucker finds ze wants nothing more.