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Soulsucker can’t die. Trust him, he has checked. He is immortal, he is infinite, he is…
Alone.
He hasn’t left Starfucker’s house in days. What if ze comes back while he’s out? Ze will think he left zem, which he wouldn’t do.
But ze left him.
It’s been a week and ze isn’t home. The angel that took zem hasn’t come back either. Soulsucker alternates between sitting on the floor by the front door and lying curled up on their bed, staring at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. The constellations are still wrong but he doesn’t have the heart to change them.
He feels a horrible pit clawing in his chest, eating him from the inside out, tearing him to shreds. If he hadn’t come here, hadn’t insisted on joining zem on Earth, they would still be here.
Is ze dead? Something worse? Have they ripped our zer horns and drowned zem in holy water?
Would it have been more merciful for him to kill zem?
No, he can’t think like that. He can’t give up hope. Eventually he drags himself up from the floor and thinks. Where would Starfucker do, if ze couldn’t come home? Where would ze feel safe?
The park? He walks around it in circles, checking under each bush and up each apple tree. Starfucker likes to climb but ze isn’t in the branches anywhere.
The aquarium? He wanders along the pathways around the tanks, investigating each habitat, each fish. Ze doesn’t breathe so ze could be hiding underwater. But there’s no sign of zem.
The beach has pretty seashells and smooth stones but he can't bring himself to pocket them. What’s the point, if he doesn’t have anyone to show them to?
The old shipwreck is deserted. All the cafes are empty. The clerks at the thrift stores haven’t seen zem. It’s like ze vanished off the face of the Earth.
Maybe ze did. Maybe ze went back to hell, or got dragged up to heaven. He can’t go to either of those places to find zem. Hell is completely off limits to him. If he tried, he would get burned up in an instant.
He could go back to Heaven. The fear of it gnaws away at whatever he has instead of a heart in his chest. Guilt, that’s it. The thing that destroyed so many priests he tried to help. It’s eating him alive.
What if Starfucker is in Heaven? If Otto’s description was accurate, then ze might have gone with an angel. Ze must be terrified, burning. If ze isn’t dead already then ze would be tortured. It’s too horrible to think about.
He could stop it. He left Heaven of his own will, so he could go back. This is his chance to save zem like ze saved him.
“I’m coming, Star.” He whispers, like a prayer, and he returns to Heaven.