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English
Series:
Part 1 of everyone: watch Disney
Stats:
Published:
2013-01-16
Words:
6,460
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
12
Kudos:
159
Bookmarks:
17
Hits:
5,862

Everyone: Watch Disney

Summary:

6 trolls, too much time, the entire disney collection

Notes:

Based of embarassingfanfiction's fic (nsfw) http://archiveofourown.org/works/381767/chapters/624017 but applied to something more family friendly. I can't make jizz jokes, but I can make trolls react to your childhood.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

-Current grimAuxiliatrix [CGA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CCG] -

 

CGA: Karkat May I Speak With You

CCG: SHIT WHAT IS IT KANAYA?

CGA: I Have Been Pestering And Interogating The Humans As You Had Ordered And I Would Like To Report My Findings

CGA: So To Speak

CCG: WAIT, YOU MEAN TO SAY YOU DIDN’T ONLY FUCKING LISTEN TO WHATEVER INSANE BILE PAST ME WAS SPEWING, YOU ACTUALLY DID IT AND GOT RESULTS?

CGA: Yes

CCG:  WELL GREAT, LAY IT ON ME.

CGA: After Numerous Conversations With Rose She Suggested I Would Consult Human Literature For A Better Understanding Of Their Culture

CGA: Failing That She Suggested We Consult Other Forms Of Media As Long As We Stay Far Away From What Constituted As Popular Music The Moment Their World Was Destroyed

CCG: THAT’S HARDLY ANY FUCKING NEWS

CCG: YOU REALLY THINK WATCHING STUPID EARTH MOVIES IS GONNA HELP US TROLL THESE FUCKING DEAD ENDS OF EVOLUTION?

CGA: Yes

CGA: I Hope So

CGA: It Couldn’t Hurt

CGA: I Think

CCG: ……ALRIGHT, I’LL BITE.

CCG: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND THE ROSE HUMAN?

CGA: A Rather Emberassing Display On Both Our Accounts I Would Prefer Not To Revisit

CGA: At First She Recommended A Movie Called Little Monsters Only To Later Retract Her Statement

CGA: When We Got To Talk About Movies However She Seemed To Have A Great Fondness For Something Called Disney

CCG: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS A DISNEY?

CGA: I Am Not Entirely Sure

CGA: A Specific Type Of Movies Perhaps?

CGA: A Genre Yet Unexplored By Troll Culture?

CCG: FUCK I’LL BELIEVE NEARLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THESE FUCKING HUMANS.

CCG: I DID TRY WATCHING SOME HUMAN MOVIES BUT THOSE WERE PRETTY DAMN AWFUL. HUMAN WILL SMITH DOES NOT NEARLY HAVE THE CHARISMA OF THE REAL DEAL.

CGA: I Can Only Imagine

CCG: DID SHE SEND YOU THE MOVIE?

CGA: I Am Afraid We’ll Have To Find A Way To Download It

CGA: From The Human Servers

CGA: Oh Dear

CCG: DO NOT ASK HIM, DO NOT ASK HIM, SO NOT ASK HIM.

CGA: I Fear We Must Ask Sollux For Assistance

CCG: FUCK ME

 

--  FUTURE twinArmageddons [TA] 12 MINUTES FROM NOW responded to memo --

 

FTA: love you two kk

CCG: GLOBESCHAFING GRUBFUCKING NOOKSNIFFING SON OF A TAINT I CAN GET THAT FUCKING DIDNEY MOVIE MYSELF

CGA: Actually It Is Called Disney

CCG: WHATEVER

FTA: let2 have a look……

FTA:  2weet honey there are a lot of dii2ney moviie2

FTA: any 2peciifiic moviie your human giirlfriiend recommended?

CGA: Actually She Expressed An Almost Morbid Interest In A Movie Called Beauty And The Beast

CGA: She Mentioned A Human Disorder Called Stockholm Syndrome But I Only Caught Half Of That

CCG: WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE NAMES HIS MOVIE LIKE THAT. IT’S NOT INFORMATIVE AT ALL.

FTA: not everyone giive2 a fuck

CCG: YOU HAVE YET TO SEE ME GIVE A FUCK CAPTOR

FTA: now that2 a 2cary thought

FTA: 2crew iit, ii’ll download all dii2ney moviie2 ii can fiind

CCG: THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION

CCG: NOW KINDLY GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MEMO

FTA: hey ii don’t have anythiing better to do, ju2t waiitiing for our iineviitable demii2e.

FTA: 2hiit ii’ll iinviite ff, iit’ll be great.

CCG: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE

 

-- FUTURE cuttlefishCuller [FCC] 12 MINUTES FROM NOW responded to memo --

 

FCC:  Glub?

CCG: I HATE SO YOU PLATONICALLY RIGHT NOW CAPTOR IT IS ACTIVLY TEARING A BLACK HOLE SOMEWHERE IN PARADOX SPACE. MILLIONS OF CARAPACES ARE SCREAMING IN AGONY AS THEY AWAIT THEIR INEVITABLE DOOM BY GETTING SUCKED UP BY MY HATE FUELED EVENT HORIZON.

CGA: Hello Feferi

FCC: )(I Kanaya! Crabsnack! W)(at are we w)(atc)(ing?

FTA: A human diidney moviie.

FCC: O)( sounds –EXCITING

FCC: But…W)(at is a Didney?

CGA: Actually It Is

CGA: Know What Never Mind

CGA: We Are Not Sure Ourselves What The Movie Entails But I Am Sure We Will Learn When Sollux Has Set Up The Stream

FTA: 2hiit, ii’m ready whenever you are.

CCG: FUCKING FINALLY

CCG: LETS DO THIS ALREADY AND GET HORRIBLY DISAPPOINTED YET AGAIN, AS WITH EVERYTHING INVOLVING THESE BLOODY HUMANS.

CGA: Actually Karkat If I May

CGA: I Would Advise

CGA: Reluctantly So

CGA: That We Invite Vriska And Terezi As Well

CCG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE WANT TO INVITE THE SPIDERBITCH

FTA: 2omehow ii agree wiith kk on thiis one.

CCG: WELL YOU CAN’T BE WRONG ALL THE DAMN TIME

FTA: funny, ii wa2 thiinkiing the 2ame thiing about you.

FTA: after all, even a broken tiimepiiece ii2 riight………..

FTA: twiice a day.

CCG: URGH

FCC: Sollux be nice!

FTA: eh he had iit commiing.

FCC: I AGR-E-E wit)( Kanaya though 38) T)(e more the ferry-er

>CCG: WHY. WHY WOULD WE WANT THEM HERE?

CGA: Well Vriska Has Been Talking To The John Human Rather Frequently So She May Benefit From A Better Understanding Of Human Culture

CGA: Terezi Finds Herself In A Similar Situation With The Dave Human

CCG: UGH. I HATE THAT SMUG SHITSTAIN.

CCG: FINE, INVITE THE BATSHIT SISTERS. JUST START THE DAMN MOVIE ALREADY

 

 

- -PAST gallowsCalibrator [PGC] joined the memo 2 HOUR AGO- -

- -CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] joined the memo RIGHT NOW- -

 

PGC: WH4T 1S TH1S? 4NOTH3R M3MO?

CAG: Gr8. Juuuuuuuust what we needed. Karkat yelling at himself some more.

CCG: SHUT UP SERKET NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU THINK.

FTA: hehe 2he kiinda ha2 a point kk

CCG: AND FUCK YOU TOO SOLLUX

PGC: SO WH4T 4R3 W3 DO1NG H3R3 >:?

CGA: In Summation We Are Watching A Disney Movie Recommended By The Humans In Order To Better Understand Their Culture

CCG: THANK YOU KANAYA

CGA: Not A Problem

CAG: Pft 8iiiiiiiig deal. I can just ask John

PGC: Y3AH 1 TH1NK 1 C4N 4SK D4V3 4BOUT HUM4N CULTURE 1F 1 F33L L1K3 1T >:I

FCC: Glub. I fis)(ed Jade wouldn’t sleep so muc)(. S)(e seems so muc)( fun to talk too. I bet s)(e could offer insig)(t as shell.

CAG: Yes…..8 human sleep8ng too much…..im8gine th8t……

PGC: >:?

FCC: U)(m?

CCG: ALRIGHT THEN; I GUESS YOU CAN ASK THE DAVE AND JOHN HUMANS. YOU STILL REMEMBER HOW TO EXIT A MEMO WITHOUT ME BANNING YOU I HOPE. IT’S NOT AS IF YOU’RE MISSING SOMETHING POTENTIALLY FUCKING IMPORTANT ABOUT HUMAN CULTURE.

CCG: I MEAN, IT’S NOT AS IF THEY ARE CONSTANTLY SPEWING BULLSHIT LIES FOR THEIR OWN AMUSEMENT MAKING YOU LOOK LIKE FOOLS EVERY OTHER CONVO.

CAG: ……..

PGC: ………

CCG: MOVIE IT IS THEN.

 

 

CCG: HOW ARBITRARY A CURSE IS THAT? HERE, YOU ARE NOW  STRONGER THEN ANY HUMAN. ALSO THE COUNTDOWN IS A FUCKING FLOWER SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR BOTANY.

CAG: 8ooooooooring

FTA: let2 ju2t call the priince ed from here on vk.

CAG: Oh my god it makes waaaaaaaay too much sense.

FCC: Glub. Royalty s)(ould treat their subjects, even old or ugly ones wit)( kindness and not act as s)(ellfis)( as t)(is one )(as!

FCC: Maybe it’s a t)(eme in t)(e movie to treat ot)(ers wit)( KINDN-ESS despite t)(eir appearance?

CCG: NAH

CAG: Doubt it

FTA: a2 iif.

 

 

CGA: Uhm

CGA: Is This Normal Human Costum

CGA: To Sing A Song With The Entire Town Every Morning

CGA: How Does One Go About Organizing This

FCC: It mig)(t be for the sake of the movie?

FCC: S)(e does have a beautiful voice.

PGC: HMM TH3 COLORS 4R3…..PL34S4NT

PGC: NOT TOO V1BR4NT, NOT TOO D4RK. B1T TOO MUCH BROWN 4ND Y3LLOW TON3S THOUGH.

CCG: THANK YOU FOR THAT COMPLETELY UNESECARY COMMENTARY

FTA: ii2 cool 2tuff happeniing yet?

FCC: O)( S)(US)(, --ENJOY T)(E SONG

CAG: You know what would improve this movie?

CCG: PLEASE SAY PIRATES. IT WOULD REALLY MAKE MY FUCKING DAY.

CAG: Oh 8ite me Vantas.

 

 

FTA: that2 the 2econd mo2t iimpractiical 2triife 2peciibu2 ii’ve ever 2een.

CAG: Okay soooooooo the adult human lusus is a inventormentor

FCC: )(umans )(ave adults as t)(eir lusus?

CCG: YES AND IT’S FUCKING CREEPY

FTA: kiinda wiith kk on thii2 one

CCG: YOU’RE BEING VERY AGREEABLE TONIGHT

FTA: don’t let iit go to your head

PGC: 4DULT HUM4NS K1ND4 FUNCT1ON 4S ROL3MOD3LS 4ND C4R3T4K3RS. 3V3N 1F D4V3 D1S4GR33S 1T 1S PR3TTY OBV1OUS.

CAG: John also has a weeeeeeeeird relation with his adult father lusus. When I asked he simply went on and on a8out cake and a woman called 8etty Crocker?

CCG: FUCKING FASCINATING

CGA: It Almost Seems Like A Moiraillegance

CGA: Belle Taking Care Of Her Adult Father Lusus

CCG: HUMANS DON’T DO QUADRANTS. THE ADULT HUMAN LUSUS PARENT THING IS WEIRD ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT THEM BEING ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED.

 

 

FTA: hey kk, remember that tiime a protagonii2t went iinto a ca2tle duriing a thunder2torm and everythiing turned out alriight?

CAG: I would totally go in there. Castles like that always have gr8 treasure.

PGC: 4ND NO ON3 W4S SURPR1S3D TH4T N1GHT

 

 

CGA: What

CGA: How

CGA: Why Are The Clock And The Candle Capable Of Communicating

CGA: In Fact Why Are They Capable Of Sentience

CGA: Karkat Could You Please Explain This?

CCG: I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE. IF THIS IS COMMON IN HUMAN CULTURE WE MUST HAVE MISSED A FUCKTON OF DATA WHEN GOING TROUGH THE VIEWPORTS.

CAG: Hey don’t look at me I did my jo8!

FTA: ii’ll be hone2t, ii diidn’t really care

FCC: Jade’s clock could talk. It would tell H—ER w)(at time it was.

PGC: 1 DON’T TH1NK TH4T 1T’S TH3 S4M3

 

 

FTA: and everythiing went roughly a2 well a2 expected

FCC: SOLLUX S)(US)(

PGC: TR3SP4SS3RS W1LL B3 PROS3CUT3D. TH3 MOV13 T34CH3S WR1GGL3RS 4N 1MPORT4NT L3SSON >:]

CGA: I Think It Is Rather Tragic

CGA: The Prince Cursed For His Lack Of Compassion Now Seemingly Has Cut All His Ties With His Fellow Humans Giving In To The Feral Nature Of His Ugliest Side

CCG: THIS IS A MOVIE FOR WRIGGLERS KANAYA. CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

CCG: STILL, THE GUY WAS ONLY LOOKING TO GET AWAY FROM THE FERAL HOWLBEASTS. IT’S KIND OF A DICKMOVE TO IMIDEATLY TOSS HIS SORRY ASS IN THE DUNGEON.

CAG: At least now we’ll get to see some action riiiiiiiight?

 

 

CAG: Noooooooo

CCG: GOD THIS HUMAN IS ANNOYING.

CCG: GET A HINT YOU VAIN FUCKING PONYTAIL SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM.

CCG: GO HAVE YOUR WEIRD HUMAN ROMANCE WITH THOSE 3 BLOND BIMBO’S THAT FOLLOW YOU AROUND LIKE LOYAL BARKBEASTS

FTA: oh god what have ii brought upon my2elf……kk talkiing about romance agaiin.

FCC: Crabsnack is rig)(t, t)(at guy is awful!

FTA: iif you 2tart about romance a2 well you miight a2 well kiill me now.

FCC: NO! 38( BUT TH—E GUY IS SO S)(ELF-ABSORBED IN )(IS OWN SEAGO AND T)(EATRIC S T)(AT IT JUST MAK—ES ME ANGRY.

CCG: EH……

PGC: HMMM

CAG: Peixes you ARE talking a8out the movie riiiiiiiight?

FCC:  Of coarse

CAG: Just checking

CGA: I Do Agree With The Notion That This Is A Incredibly Annoying Person

CGA: His Own Ego Seems To Completely Detach Himself From Reality And Makes Him A Very Unpleasant Character

CGA: I Do Wish Belle Would Just Stand Up Against Him Or

 

 

CGA: Well That Shall Do Quite Nicely

 

 

CCG: THAT’S A LOYAL FUCKING HOOFBEAST

FTA: man eq would love the 2hiit out of thii2.

PGC: 4M 1 TH3 ONLY ON3 WHO TH1NKS B3LL3 1S M4K1NG 4 M1ST4K3 GO1NG 1N TH3 S4M3 C4STL3 H3R F4TH3R D1S4PP34R3D 1N?

FCC: No

CAG: No

CGA: No

CCG: NO

PGC: 1 THOUGHT SO

FTA: Tragedy striikiing iin 3…..2……1…….

 

 

FTA: liike fuckiing clockwork.

FCC: SOLLUX I AM TRYING TO WATCH THE MOVI---E

FTA: ea2y ff, ii’m ju2t jokiing around.

PGC: 4ND TH3N TH3 M1GHTY B34ST 4T3 H3R FOR H3R TR3SP4SS1NG?

CAG: Yeeeeeeees

CAG: Come to the 8east fair maiden

PGC: OH NO WH4T3V3R SH4LL I DO? TW1ST MY 4NKL3? SCR34M L1K3 4 D4MS3L 1N D1STR3SS OR OFF3R COMP3NS4T1ON FOR TR3SP4SS1NG? >;]

CCG: I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU START WITH THESE IDIOTIC ROLEPLAYING SHENANIGANS FOR WRIGGLERS WE MIGHT AS WELL INVITE NEPETA TO THE STREAM.

PGC: 4ND TH3N WH4T….. K4RK1TTY?

CCG: UGH……..

 

 

PGC: YOU C4N JUST T4ST3 TH3 B34STS LONG1NG ST4R3 S4Y1NG; 1 4M GO1NG TO T4P TH4T.

CCG: REALLY? I KINDA SEE HIM THINKING; THERE’S NO WAY SHE’S STUPID ENOUGH TO GO TROUGH WITH THIS.

CCG: BUT OF COURSE SHE IS.

FCC: Can you imagine how bad t)(e FAT)(--ER lusus must eel? His life gets saved at t)(e cost of )(ers.

CGA: It Is Indeed A Rather Grim Scenario

CAG: Ancient curses, a locked up maiden guarded by a 8east, why does this somehow 8ORE me

CGA: I Would Say The Lack Of Action

FTA: ii would 2ay the lack of nudity

CCG: THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS. BECAUSE SOLLUX IS THERE.

FTA: ii liive to ruiin your happy moment2 kk.

 

 

 

CCG: AND WE GET ANOTHER FUCKING SONG

CAG: Now this I enjoy. A rowdy 8ar, 8eer, fights, I could get into this ;;;;)

CGA: I Must Say I Suddenly Feel Compelled To Withdraw My Previous Assessment And Agree That Gaston Is Indeed Quite An Amazing Person.

PGC: W41T WH4T?

CGA: That Was Not A Sincere Statement

FCC: )(a)(a)(a I LOV—E THIS SONG.

CCG: FUCK A SONG LIKE THAT WOULD MAKE ANYONE AWESOME. WHY DON’T YOU GUYS SING SOMETHING LIKE THAT ABOUT ME?

FTA: No one lead2 liike kk, or acts drilled liike kk

FTA: not a 2iingle troll get2 hii2 friiend2 kiilled liike kk

CCG: ARE YOU EVER GONNA LET THAT GO?

CGA: Now He Intends To Do

CGA: Well Something With Belles Lusus To Win Her Over

CAG: The plot thickeeeeeeeens. Murder, kidnap, ransom and romance

CCG: A BOOK BY VRISKA SERKET.

 

 

CGA: She Accommodated To The Talking Furniture Rather Quickly

CGA: I Am Not Sure If I Would Feel Compelled To Converse With My Teacup

CGA: Is This Perhaps Another Human Custom I Remain Unaware Off Karkat?

CCG: FUCK, HOW SHOULD I KNOW. IT’S JUST A STUPID TEACUP.

FCC: But it’s such a CUT—E T--EACUP

FTA: actually iit raii2e2 all 2ort2 of que2tiion2. What ii2 aliive and what ii2n’t? ii2 the floor aliive? Now that would be paiinful.

FTA: What about plate2 and gla22? What iif they break?

CCG: THANKS SOLLUX WE GET IT

FTA: What about the toiilet2?

CCG: WE GET IT

CAG: We get it

PGC: W3 G3T 1T

 

 

PGC: SO TH3 FURN1TUR3 S3RV4NTS W3R3 CURS3D 4LONG W1TH TH3 PR1NC3

CCG: YES. AND THE BEAST AND BELLE MUST BECOME FLUSHED FOR EACH OTHER BEFORE THE ROSE WILTS. IT’S A CLASSIC ROMANTIC SET UP WHERE THE TWO LEADS MUST FORM EITHER A FLUSHED OR A CALIGINOUS RELATION BEFORE TIME RUNS OUT.

FCC: Glub. T)(--E –ENC)(ANTR—ESS WAS ONLY WRONG—ED BY T)(E PRINC—E. W)(Y PUNIS)( T)(E SERVANTS?

PGC: M4YB3 TH3Y W3R3 SL4V3S? THOS3 DON’T G3T SP4R3D 1F TH3 M4ST3R COMM1TS 4 CR1M3 ON 4LT3RN14 31TH3R YOU KNOW.

FCC: ONLY CAUS—E I WASN’T –EMPR—ESS Y—ET.

FCC: SLAV—ERY IS A HORRIBUBBL—E PRACTIS—E THAT WOULD B—E ABOLIS)(--ED IF  I WAS  –EMPR—ESS!!

CGA: Oh Dear

CAG: I kiiiiiiinda agree with 8east here. He’s been an awful person and continues to treat those around him like crap, yet she is supposed to faaaaaaaall for him?

CAG: I am not 8uying.

CCG: YES. YOU SHOULD ALL LISTEN TO SERKET ON THIS, SHE HAS EXPERIENCE.

CAG: Oh would you of my 8ulge!

CCG: STIL, IT SEEMS THE TALKING FURNITURE COMPELLS HIM TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON.

CCG: ……..DID I JUST REALLY FUCKING TYPE THAT?

 

 

FTA: you were 2ayiing about who becommiing a better per2on kk?

CCG: THE UNIVERSE IS ALWAYS EAGER TO PROVE WRONG EVERYTHING I SAY THE INSTANT I AM STUPID ENOUGH TO SAY IT.

 

 

CCG: WAIT WHAT

 

 

CCG: THE

 

 

CCG: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

 

 

CAG: Weeeeeeeell that sure happened.

FTA: another fuckiing 2ong. Ii am choo2iing two beliieve human2 can’t 2pend two miinutes wiithout breakiing iintwo 2ong.

FTA: better keep a clo2e look on tho2e viiewport2, we miight mii22 a 2how.

PGC: TH4T W4S 4M4Z1NG. TH3 MUS1C, TH3 COLORS, TH3 SL4PST1CK 4ND OH GOD TH3 COLORS.

CGA: I Believe You Said Colors Twice

PGC: 1T W4S TH4T GOOD.

FCC: SOLLUX!!!  CAN W—E ALC)(—EMIZE  DIS)(--ES  TO SING AND PRAWNCE?

FTA: ii don’t know?

FCC: GLUB GLUB FIND OUT. IT WOULD REELLY LIVEN UP TH-E PLAC-E

CGA: It Certainly Was Very Festive However I Fear We Are Losing Sight Of Our Original Goal

PGC: TH3R3 W4S 4 GO4L >:?

CGA: Oh Heavens Sake

 

 

FTA: 2he’2 gettiing intwo trouble.

FTA: priince ed wiill 2how up and 2he’ll be iin trouble.

FTA: any moment now

CCG: SOLLUX SHUT YOUR PROTEINCHUTE OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SHUT IT FOR YOU SO HARD THE MOTHER GRUB WILL FEEL IT.

CGA: Karkat I Don’t Believe This Threat Is Within The Realm Of Physical Possibility

FTA: come on. The moviie iit2 ju2t gettiing prediictable now. Even gz could prediict the plot from here.

FCC: SOLLUX DON’T YOU –EV--EN T)(INK ABOUT SPOILING THE MOVI---E FOR M--E!!!

PGC: H3H3H3 YOU 4R3 R34LLY G3TT1NG 1NTO TH1S

 

 

FCC: well maybe I can sea mys)(ellf in Belle a little?

CGA: No I Understand

CGA: She Is Very A Relatable Protagonist

CGA: There Is Something Ordinary And Identifiable About Her

FCC: GLUB I know rig)(t!!!

CAG: Also you rel8 with her 8eing 8othered 8y two self a8sor8ed douche8ags?

FCC: Not reelly?

CAG: Huh

FTA: iin your face vk

 

 

CCG: OH GOD NO. BELLE DON’T LEAVE, THE BEAST NEEDS YOU.

FTA: kk what the actual fuck

CCG: OH COME ON THAT WAS HARDLY A SERIOUS FUCKING COMMENT.

FTA: hardly?

PGC: YOU KNOW HOW K4RK4T G3TS 4T TH3 PROM1S3 OF 4 ROM4NC3

FTA: ye2 but thii2 ii2 a new fuckiing record.

PGC: R3M3MB3R WH3N H3 H4D JUST W4TCH3D TH4T TROLL 4D4M S4NDL3R MOV13 WH3R31N H1S M4T3SPR1T3 H4S R3CURR1NG 4MN3S14 3TC 3TC

FTA: god don’t remiind me plea2e

CCG: I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

CCG: THE CLUE IS ELUDING ME LIKE A SLY FUCKING LONG EARED RODENT WHILE I AM A HUNTERRORIST WITH A BAD STUTTER.

CCG: ALSO THAT MOVIE WAS AMAZING SO STUFF IT.

CCG: ALSO  ALSO SHUT YOUR PROTEINCHUTE AND WATCH THE DAMN MOVIE.

 

 

CAG: What’s thiiiiiiiis? Action, blood, fighting, fucking finally!!!!!!!!

FTA: damniit ff ii’m 2iittiing riight here, you don’t need to 2cream.

FCC: BUT T)(E HOWLB--EASTS SOLLUX!! T)(EY ARE GOING TO KRILL HER

FCC: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

FTA: ff calm your tiit2. Iit2 ju2t a 2tupiid moviie for wriiggler2

FCC: YOUR FACE IS A STUPID MOVIE FOR WRIGGL---ERS

FTA: Look…... Iis kk 2tiill watchiing the moviie?

FCC:  yes?

FTA: ii2 he bawliing?

FCC: No?

FTA: congratulatiion2 you ju2t helped me deduce Belle won’t get eaten by howlbea2t2.

 

 

FTA: ff

FTA: oh 2weet jegu2 reel back your excitement a liitle before you 2qual my ear2 off.

FCC: H—E CAME BACK TO SAV—E )(ER SOLLUX

FTA: ye2 I 2ee that.

FTA: We ju2t fiigured out 2he’d 2urviive becau2e the lack of a cryiing kk.

CCG:  GO PUT YOUR BULGE IN A TOASTER SOLLUX

CAG: Eh, it’s cool. I guess.

PGC: WH4T’S TH1S? YOU’V3 B33N W1SH1NG FOR 4CT1ON 4LL MOV13 4ND TH3N YOU F31GN D1S1NT3R3ST.

PGC: G4SP. COULD 1T B3?

CAG: what?

PGC: >:]

CAG: Wh8t!?

PGC: YOU R34LLY LOV3 TH1S MOV13 DON’T YOU?

CAG: Yeah right.

 

 

CGA: I

CGA: What

CGA: I Thought They Were Supposed To Learn To Pity Each Other But Now They Seem To Be Feeling Black

CGA: Karkat Is This Customary In Human Relationships

CCG: KANAYA, YOU CAN STOP DIRECTING ALL QUESTIONS  TO ME. I AM WATCHING THE MOVIE FOR THE FIRST TIME AS WELL.

CCG: FUCK, MAYBE TEREZI OR SERKET HERE HAS HAD THE HUMANS SUDDENLY GO BLACK ON THEM.

CCG: EVEN THOUGH THEY DON’T USE QUADRANTS BUT THEIR OWN TANGLED UP MESS OF A SINGULAR FUCKING ROMANCE.

CAG: We get it, please stop 8efore you 8ore us to death!!!!!!!!

FCC: U)(m Crabsnack?

FCC: If )(umans don’t do quadrants w)(y are t)(ey acting like t)(is?

CAG: You HAD to do it……

CCG: FIRST OFF (SERKET GO THROW YOURSELF OF THIS DAMN ROCK) IT WOULD BE THE WRONG FUCKING QUADRANTS ALL TOGETHER. FROM WHAT I’VE GATHERED TROUGH EXTENSIVE RESEARCH THE HUMAN ROMANCE HAS MOST IN COMMON WITH THE FLUSHED QUADRANT

PGC: 3XT3NS1V3 R3S34RCH M34NS H3 W4TCH3D TWO HUM4N W1LL SM1TH MOV13S B3FOR3 D3CL4R1NG TH3M G4RB4G3 >:]

CCG: SECOND OFF (TEREZI HUMAN WILL SMITH DOESN’T EVEN BEGIN TO MEASURE UP TO THE REAL THING) DESPITE NOT USING THE QUADRANTS THEIR ROMANCE STILL HAS TRACES OF OUR QUADRANTS. KIND OF A ALL QUADRANTS IN ONE SORTA DEAL.

CCG: IN SHORT, THEY ARE NEEDY MOTHERFUCKERS

FCC: Glub Glub Glub Glub

CCG: WHAT

FCC: T)(AT ACTUALLY SOUNDS LOV—ELY

CCG: OH FUCK ME.

 

 

FCC: WOA)(

FCC: T)(is is pretty uhm…..

FCC: T)(is IS a movie for wrigglers right?

PGC: HOLY SH1T, TH1S 1S……

CAG: Wauw…..will they actually….You know?

CGA: Karkat This Is Highly Inappropriate

CCG: FUCK I CAN SEE THAT. SOLLUX SKIP THE FUCKING MOVIE AHEAD ALREADY.

FTA: No way, thii2 ii2 awesome

CCG: WE DIDN’T SIGN UP TO WATCH PALE PORNOGRAPHY WITH YOU

FTA: you’re 2uch a baby kk iit2 hiilariious.

FTA: iit2 ju2t a moviie for wriigler2, ii doubt they’ll even get a piile.

CAG: That’s a shame. I mean noooooooormally pale doesn’t quite do it for me 8ut this was getting interesting.

CGA: I Am Not Surprised To Hear You Say That

 

 

CGA: Karkat What Is An Asylum

CCG: KANAYA I JUST FUCKING SAID I DONT…..URGH, SOLLUX, LOOK IT UP.

FTA: ye2 bo22 2iir captaiin emporer kiing kk the 2econd

CCG: I AM TOO TIRED FOR THIS SHIT…….

FTA: accordiing to human wiikiipediia an a2ylum ii2 ba2iically a hou2e where iin2ane people, like vk, eq and ed, get locked up and 2eperated from 2ociiety.

CAG: 8luh 8luh, lets pick on the spider8itch again.

PGC: G4SP. HUM4NS H4V3 4 W1K1P3D1A?

CGA: I Didn’t Know They Were That Advanced Already

PGC: 4LL TH1S T1M3 W3 COULD H4V3 US3D TH4T 1NST34D OF LOOK1NG L1K3 CHUMPS WH3N T4LK1NG TO TH3 HUM4NS.

FTA: am ii 2eriiou2ly the fiir2t to even bother to check iif human2 have a wiikiipedia?

FTA: ii don’t even care about thii2 2tupiid 2peciie2.

CAG: Why not just kill the loonies.

FTA: 2eriiou2ly, kk you don’t know about thii2? When diid ii become the fuckiing expert on human2?

FTA: long 2tory 2hort, human2 don’t kiill theiir criimiinal2 or nutjob2 half a2 often a2 we do….or diid, 2eeiing vk ii2 iin fact 2tiill among u2.

FCC: I REELLY START TO LIKE HUMANS.

 

 

FCC: AAAAAAAAAAAAW

CAG: ………..

PGC: (YOU R34LLY L1K3 1T DON’T YOU >:])

CAG: (Shut that chainsaw you call a mouth!)

CGA: My This Is Quite Grand

CGA: It Would Seem Your Assertion Was Correct Karkat Humans Do Show A Wide Range Of Emotions Corresponding With Our Quadrants

CGA: First They Seem Black Then Pale And Now This Lovely Flushed Statement

CGA: Wouldn’t It Be Simply Divine To Receive Such A Beautiful Gesture From Your Matesprite

CGA: To Then Read Stories Together In The Dark Candlelit Hours Of The Night About Ill Fated Lovers And Forbidden Romance

FTA: liike every tra2hy vampiire novel ever wriitten iin the hii2tory of everythiing ever?

CGA: They Are Not Trashy

PGC: TH3Y R34LLY K1ND4 4R3

CCG: I HATE TO ADMIT IT BUT…….

CGA: Not You Too Karkat

CCG: NOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO ADMIT.

CCG: I WAS GOING TO  ADMIT, AS MUCH AS IT FUCKING PAINS ME THAT THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY WELL DONE. IMAGINE YOU HAVE A ROUGH TIME WITH YOUR FLUSH CRUSH AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN SHE WOULD SHOW YOU SOMETHING LIKE THIS? SHIT, NOW IT’S CLEAR AS DAY EVEN FOR BELLE THAT HE’S FLUSHED FOR HER.

CCG: THIS WOULD BE LIKE VRISKA SUDDENLY SITTING NAKED ON ERIDAN’S WANDPILE GIVING AWAY FREE DOOMSDAY DEVICES AND CONFECTIONS.

 

CGA: I Believe That Was Black

CCG: FUCK HE'LL TAKE ANYTHING HE CAN GET RIGHT NOW.

PGC: TH4T W4S 4WFULLY GR4PH1C. YUCK NOW 1 C4N’T G3T TH1S 1CKY BLU3B3RRY AND GRAPE T4ST3 OUT OF MY M1ND.

FCC: WAY TO RUIN TH--E MOM—ENT KARCRAB!!!

FTA: Haha, hii2 piile 2tiill look2 2urprii2iingly empty vk.

CAG: 8p y8rs c8pt8r. 8nd f8ck y8 v8nt8s.

CCG: WHATEVER. JUST WATCHING THE MOVIE.

FTA: Of cour2e, there wa2 only 1 thiing to make thii2 me22 complete

PGC: H4H4H4H4H4 R34LLY, DO3SN’T B3LL3 WOND3R WH3R3 TH1S MUS1C K33PS COMM1NG FROM?

CAG: oh dear gooooooood another fucking song

CGA: Its Not A Bad Place For A Song Really

CGA: It Seems Like A Good Idea To Reinforce The Idea Of The Two Leads Becoming Closer

CCG: FUCK, THANK YOU KANAYA GLAD SOMEONE ELSE GETS IT. AND LOOK AT THE IMAGRY, THE CINEMATAGROPHY, IT’S BEAUTIFUL.

CAG: Oh reeeeeeeeally Karkat likes a romantic movie? 8ig fucking surprise.

CCG: WHY DON’T YOU CHASE AFTER THE CRIPPLED AGAIN

 

 

CGA: Karkat?

CCG: YES?

 

 

CGA: Are You Quite Alright?

CCG: I’M FINE DAMNIT

 

 

CGA: I Just Thought I Heard A Distressed Noise From Your Location

CCG: OK, YOU PROBABLY THINK I AM STUPID AS FUCK FOR THIS BUT….I REALLY LIKE THIS MOVIE ALRIGHT?

CCG: YES THE HUMAN ELEMENT IS A LITTLE ANNOYING, BUT IF YOU READ THIS AS A HIGHBLOOD AND A MIDBLOOD HAVING A LOT OF QUADRANT CONFUSION BEFORE SETTLING INTO A FLUSHED QUADRANT IT ACTUALLY WORKS.

CCG: I DON’T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED BUT WE NEVER HAD MUCH ANIMATION MOVIES ON ALTERNIA AND NONE OF THEM LOOKED AS GREAT AS THIS. SCENES LIKE THESE ARE ALMOST LIKE A PAINTING IN MOTION.

PGC: 1 C4N 4GR33. 1T R34LLY DO3S T4ST3 L1K3 P41NT1NG.

CCG: LOOK, I WATCHED ROMANTIC MOVIES ALL MY LIFE, I LIKE TO THINK I AM AT LEAST SOMEWHAT QUALIFIED TO CALL A MOVIE PRETTY GOOD.

CAG: Oh my god Karkat, are you 8ctually crying at this?

CGA: Actually You Seem To Have A Peculiar Blush Around You As Well

CAG: No I d8nt sh8t up.

FCC: Its ok. I REELLY LIKE T)(IS MOVI—E TOO.

FCC: I AM REELLY FOND OF T)(E SONGS. –ESPECIALLY ROMANTIC ON—ES LIKE T)(IS.

FTA: iit 2eem2 ii am the la2t ba2tiion of 2aniity. Better 2tart hoardiing canned good2 and build a boxfort

 

 

CCG: WHAT? OH NO NO NO NO YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCKMOVIE

CCG: THEY WERE GOING TO BE TOGETHER…… WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO LEAVE LIKE THAT?

PGC: 1 DON’T S33 WHY YOU K33P DO1NG TH4T TO YOURS3LF K4RK4T. MOV13S DON’T USU4LLY 3ND H4PP1LY.

FCC: W)(AL—E T)(EY S)(OALD.

CGA: But Her Lusus Needs Her

CGA: He Is Ill And Out In The Forest Looking For Her.

CCG: HUMANS DON’T HAVE A…..UURGH.

FCC: U)(M…..Fis)(ka?

CAG: If you are talking a8out meeeeeeee Peixes, that is the worst nickname I ever heard.

FCC: Are you eeling alrig)(t?

CAG: Of course! I feel fine! Wh8 wouldn’t I 8e?

FTA: you ju2t 2tormed to the teleporter lookiing kiinda 2iick.

CAG: Wh8tever.

 

 

FCC: And you are shore t)(ey aren’t pale crabsnack?

CCG: DEFINITLEY.

FCC: But its so…..obvious?

CCG: FEFERI, THAT MAN IS HER LUSUS. WHEN DID YOU LAST FEEL THE NEED TO GIVE YOUR CUSTODIAN A GOOD SHOOSHING?

FCC: T)(ATS A )(ORRIBLE IDEA

CCG: WELL THERE YOU GO. BELLE IS NOT PALE FOR MAURICE.

 

 

PGC: OH W4UW. TH1S’LL B3 GOOD.

PGC: 3V3RYTH1NG G3TS B3TT3R WH3N TH3R3 1S 4 LYNCH1NG 1NVOLV3D >:]

CCG: YOU ACTUALLY TAKE PLEASURE IN THIS?

PGC: W3LL Y34H. 1T’S 4 MOV13 R1GHT?

CAG: The freaks never survive Karkat. You thiiiiiiiink someone who wastes his time watching movies would have picked up on that 8y now.

CCG: WHY MUST EVERY FUCKING MOVIE BE LIKE THAT.

CCG: THIS IS A HUMAN MOVIE DAMNIT. THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING ASSBACKWARD HEMOSPECTRUM SO  I’M HAVING SOME HOPE HERE.

CGA: Gaston Is Truly Despicable

CGA: First He Intends To Use The Beast As Excuse To Get Belles Father Locked Up

CGA: Belle Shows A Hint Of Feelings For Him And He Immediately Wants To Resort To Storming The Castle With The Entire Village With Murderous Intent

CGA: Seeing How Determined He Is To Ruin Belle I Don’t Think He Pities Her At All But Has A Incredibly Dysfunctional  Black Crush

CGA: I Doubt He Is Capable Of Any Pity Whatsoever If You Look At The Way He Treats His Slave

CGA: He’s A Self Absorbed Mean Spirited Chauvinistic--

PGC: W3 G3T 1T K4N4Y4, NOW T4K3 4 D33P BR34TH B3FOR3 YOU S33 SP4D3S FOR 4N 1M4G1N41RY CH4R4CT3R.

CCG: THAT WOULD JUST BE SILLY

PGC: 1 DON’T KNOW K4RK4T. 1T S33MS MOR3 PL4US1BL3 TH3N F33L1NG BL4CK FOR YOURS3LF >:]

CCG: CAN WE MAYBE GO THERE RIGHT NOW? WE HAVE ANOTHER FUCKING SONG TO LISTEN

FTA: Oh boy. That wa2 almo2t 5 miinute2. Ii wa2 gettiing worriied we may never lii2ten to a 2ong agaiin. And what a fuckiing 2hame that would be.

 

 

FTA: pffft…..yeah ok thii2 ii2 pretty good.

CAG: Oh my god get a grip! Can’t humans even win against their own cup8oards?

PGC: TH1S 1S PR3TTY SH4M3FUL……TH3 FURN1TUR3 H4D TH3 3L3M3NT OF SURPR1S3 BUT 1TS ST1LL JUST FURN1TUR3……

CGA: Ah Yes Humans Are Not As Well Trained In The Use Of Their Strife Specibi

PGC: HOOFB34STM4NUR3, 1’V3 S33N D4V3 PR4CT1S3 COUNTL3SS OF T1M3S W1TH H1S CUSTOD14N.

CGA: I Believe The Dave Human Is Rather Unusual For Human Standards

CGA: Rose Informed Me That Humans Are Rarely Practiced In Combat

CCG: EXACTLY HOW MUCH HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO THE ROSE HUMAN ANYWAY KANAYA?

CGA: I Believe The Correct Way To Express My Sentiment Would Be To Remind You That It Is None Of Your Business

CAG: Well that explains why I had to explain so much to John. He just plain sucked in com8at.

CAG: Though I refuse to 8elieve even he would lose to furniture.

 

 

FCC: O)( MY GLUB

FTA: He2 not even goiing to fiight?

FTA: That2 2o…..lame.

FCC: SOLLUX CLAM IT. ITS JUST SO SAD.

FTA: No iit ii2n’t. He2 ju2t goiing to be 2tuck a2 a bea2t wiithout Belle but that2 hardly worth dyiing over.

CCG: IT ISN’T ABOUT THE CURSE ANYMORE YOU IGNORANT SACK OF SHIT.

FTA: ii ju2t had to open my mouth…..

CCG: BEAST KNOWS HE LOST BELLE, SHE CHOSE HER LUSUS OVER HIM. HE ISN’T SAD THAT HE’S STUCK AS A BEAST BUT THAT THE ONLY HUMAN HE EVER FLUSHED FOR LEFT LIKE THAT.

CAG: Pah, he’s a huge 8east. 8t least go out fightiiiiiiiing.

CAG: Also, I h8 to br8k it to you…….

CAG: Scratch that, I a8solutely loooooooove 8reaking to you that I fucking called it.

CAG: 8east had done too much and treated too many people like sh8t for 8elle to recuper8.

PGC: (YOU 4R3 G3TTING SO 1NTO TH1S MOV13 1TS G3TT1NG R1D1CULOUS)

CAG: (I am gl8d that for once in your l8fe you 8tually 8ct blind!)

 

 

CCG: KANAYA ARE YOU HOLDING UP ALRIGHT?

CGA: I Am Fine

CCG: ARE YOU SURE? YOU SEEM KINDA….TENSE?

CGA: I Assure You There Is Nothing Wrong

CGA: I Would Just Like To Point Out That If Gaston Was A Real Person I Would Introduce Him To My Lipstick

CGA: By Lipstick I Mean Chainsaw

CGA: And By Introduce I Mean Violently Shove In His Face

FTA: (holy 2hiit thii2 ii2 the fiir2t tiime ii heard ky talk liike that)

CCG: (THIS IS HONESTLY GETTING PRETTY FUCKING SCARY)

CAG: Sounds like some8ody is waxing 8lack

CGA: I Assure You It Is A Murderous Urge Rather Than A Romantic Inclination

FCC: U)(m…..Belle is back!!! T)(at’s good rig)(t?

CCG: OH GOD ARE THEY ACTUALLY GOING KILL BEAST LIKE THIS? THIS IS A MOVIE FOR WRIGGLERS DAMNIT

FCC: W)(ale maybe you are rig)(t and t)(ere will be a )(appy ending?

CCG: PLEASE GIVE THEM A HAPPY ENDING. FOR THE LOVE OF GAMZEES FUCKING CLOWNGODS THEY DESERVE A HAPPY ENDING

CAG: ….Is he like this every time he watches a romance?

PGC: ONLY TH3 ON3S H3 L1K3S.

 

 

CCG: YES YES YES YES

PGC: (4R3 YOU HOLD1NG UP SP1D3RTROLL?)

CAG: (sh8t 8p 8m w8tching the m8vie)

FCC: EEE)( SOLLUX SOLLUX )(---E’S WINNING!!!

FTA: ii can 2ee that. Ii am hone2tly a liittle 2urprii2ed.

FCC: COM—E ON B—EAST!!

FTA: ARGH goddamniit ff get off me!

FTA: Dear god, there2 2tiil 2o much diidney left……And ff is already completely lost.

PGC: OH COM3 ON, 1TS NOT TH4T B4D.

FTA: iin a few miinute2 you’ll hear what ii’m heariing. Tru2t me iit2 bad.

CGA: I Find It Surprising To See How The Movie Got Us To Root For The Character That Would Be The Antagonist In Every Other Movie While The Handsome Town Hero Is So Utterly Despicable

CGA: Could This Be What The Movie Was Trying To Convey All Along

CGA: That It Is Truly What Is On The Inside That Defines Us

CCG: KANAYA IT IS JUST A MOVIE FOR WRIGGLERS.

CCG: THEN AGAIN……THIS IS A MOVIE MADE BY HUMANS….URGH….I GUESS THAT ACTUALLY MEANS ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE RIGHT?

 

 

CCG: I…..WHAT!?

CAG: Oh my god you are kiiiiiiiidding me!!!!!!!!

PGC: CL4SS1C M1ST4K3. JUST L3T H1M F4LL FOR H1S CR1M3S!

CGA: Oh For Petes Sake

FTA: damn. Ii knew human2 werent cullhappy but thii2 ii2 ju2t 2tupiid.

 

 

CCG: YES

 

 

CCG: YEEEEEES

 

 

CGA: Karkat I Would Like To Inform You That Those Words Were Completely Unesecary

CAG: hahahahahahahaha oh man I don’t think I ever heard those 8efore.

CGA: Gamzee Looks More Confused Then Usual And Tavros Looks Like He Is About To Cry

CAG: Not surprised

CGA: You Could Have Warned Us That Karkat Was About To Let Out Such A Long Winded Explicit Rant

FTA: ye2. ii could have.

FCC: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

FTA: however ii have my own problem to deal wiith here.

FCC: ITS NOT FAIR!!!

FTA: 2hoo2h ff iit2 alriight. Iit2 ju2t a 2tupiid moviie.

CAG:  s8metimes you just can’t c8tch a 8r8k Peixes. 8east had used up aaaaaaaall of his l8ck and had to p8y th8 pr8ce.

PGC: 4ND Y3T 1 C4N SM3LL 1T 1N YOUR WORDS SP1D3RTROLL.

CAG: Wh8t n8w! Stop 8cting like you c8n read me!

PGC: YOU 4R3 S4D TH3 MOV13 3NDS L1K3 TH1S.

CAG: As if

 

 

CGA: I Can Honestly Say I Have Been Waiting Most Of The Movie On That

FCC: T)(ATS FOR KRILLING B—EAST!!!

FTA: ea2y ff. deep breath2.

FCC: I’M FIN SOLLUX!!!

 

 

CCG: ITS JUST SO UNFAIR

CGA: I Know Darling

CCG: SHE WAS GOING TO BREAK THE CURSE AND……THE CONFESSION……URGH……FUCK IT. I DON’T HAVE IT IN ME.

CCG: IF ONLY SHE SAID WHILE HE WAS STILL ALIVE DAMNIT.

CGA: Vriska Are You Feeling Quite Alright

CAG: 8ft8r 8verth8ng th8 8east d8d….8elle st8ll l8ved h8m?

CAG: Th8t 8s s8ch 8ullshit. It do8sn’t w8rk l8ke th8t.

CCG: UHM SERKET?

CAG: 8f you tr8t people l8ke cr8p they’ll treat y8u worse 8nd there’s noth8ng you c8n d8 to change th8t! If y8ur luck r8ns out th8ts th8 end of it.

CAG: Wh8 d8es 8elle forg8ve him 8nd 8v8n recuper8!!!!!!!!

CAG: Why do8s h8 win ev8n 8f h8 l8ses!!!!!!!!

FTA: vk holy 2hiit

FTA: are you actually doiing thii2?

CAG: c8n it c8pt8r!

 

Current arachnidsGrip (CAG) left the memo

 

 

CCG: WAIT.

CCG: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

 

 

PGC: 4RGH BR1NG B4CK TH3 B34ST!!!

CCG: WHAT IN THE ALMIGHTY TAINTCHAFING FUCK? THE BEAST NOT ONLY REVIVED BUT TURNED HUMAN AGAIN?

CCG: ARE THEY…..BUT…….

CGA: Belle Confessed Her Love Before The Falling Of The Last Rose Petal

CGA: It Would Seem That It Was Enough To Break The Spell

CCG: THAT MAGNIFICENT  BITCH

FTA: eh, a biit of a copout iif you a2k me.

CCG: WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY NO ONE ASKED YOU

FCC: H-----E’S ALIVE H------E’S ALIVE!!!!

PGC: TH3 HUM4NS 4CTU4LLY G4V3 TH31R MOV13 4 H4PPY 3ND1NG

PGC: 1 4M K1ND4 SURPR1S3D

CCG: WHAT? YOU ARENT DISAPPOINTED THAT THE BEAST DOESN’T HANG FOR THE CRIMES HE COMMITED?

PGC: 4S MUCH 4S 4 GOOD LYNCH1NG 1MPROV3S 4 MOV13 H3 W4S JUST B31NG 1MPOL1T3, TH4TS H4RDLY A PUN1SH4BL3 OFF3NS3.

PGC: TH4T 4ND H3 4CTU4LLY TR13D TO WORK TO M4K3 UP FOR 1T, 1F ONLY TO B3LL3. 1 DON’T TH1NK H3’LL B3 4S B4D 4S H3 US3D TOO. P3OPL3 C4N R3D33M TH3MS3LV3S.

PGC: SOM3TH1NG 4 C3RT41N SP1D3RTROLL 1S ST1LL STRUGGL1NG W1TH.

CCG: YEAH THAT WAS A BIT AWKWARD

 

 

CGA: Karkat Its Quite Alright

CGA: You May Cry Now She Has Her Happy Ending

FTA: fuck he ii2nt the only one. Ju2t a head2 up becau2e ii thiink you value your 2piine but ff wiill tackle you and kk for a hug twelve miinute2 from now.

CGA:  Much Apreciated

FTA: ii’ll just log ff out for now 2o 2he can…….oh wauw huggiing kk went about a2 well a2 ii expected.

 

Future cuttlefishCuller [FCC] 12 minutes from now left memo

 

CCG: WELL I CAN HONESTLY SAY WE LEARNED MORE ABOUT HUMANS THEN I EXPECTED TO LEARN.

CCG: FOR ONE, THEY HAVE A WIKIPEDIA

FTA: kk you are 2uch an iidiiot

PGC: H3H3H3 W3LL 1T W4S C3RT41NLY 4MUS1NG. 1 C4NT W41T TO 4SK D4V3 4LL 4BOUT D1DN3Y.

PGC: G4SP. M4YB3 H3’LL 3V3N WORK TH3 SONGS 1NTO 4 COOLK1D R3M1X >:]

 

Past gallowsCalibrator [PGC] 3 minutes ago left memo

 

CCG: I CANT STAND THAT GUY.

CCG: ANYWAY, MOVIE OVER. MEMO CLOSES.

CGA: Uhm Karkat

CGA: I Hate To Intrude On Your Closing Words However I Believe Sollux Said He Had Downloaded The Entire Disney Collection

CCG: WELL SHIT. THAT’S WHAT? 2 OR 3 MORE MOVIES?

FTA: ye2…..iif you add another fiifty or 2o.

CCG: I JUST SHAT THE BRICK THE SIZE OF EAST ALTERNIA. WE’LL BE IN HERE FOREVER IF WE’D BE WATCHING THIS CRAP ALL THE TIME.

CGA: I Thought You Enjoyed The Movie

CCG: NOT ENOUGH TO WATCH 50 OF THEM!

FTA: come on. Thii2 tiime we’ll iinviite eq and ed ju2t to pii22 you off.

 

Future twinArmageddons [FTA] 12 minutes from now was banned from memo

 

CGA: Karkat Do You Intend To Watch The Rest Of The Movies

CGA: Other Than Waiting For The Humans There Is Little Else To Do

CCG: I MIGHT POP IN ANOTHER EVENTUALLY. THIS ONE WAS A PLEASANT SURPRISE, THOUGH I’LL NEVER FUCKING TELL THAT TO JOHN.

CCG: HE WONT LET ME HEAR THE END OF IT LIKE AN ABSURD BUCKTOOTHED SNICKERBEAST.

CCG: DON’T YOU DARE LET YOUR HUMAN HEAR IT EITHER.

CGA: I Think You Might Be Exegerating

CGA: Shall We Pick The Next Movie

CCG: SOUNDS GOOD. SEE YOU IN FIVE.

 

Current carcinoGeneticist [CCG] closed memo 

 

Notes:

Let's play spot the headcanon. I'll give a few

-Sollux is a horrible person to watch a movie with
-Kanaya will ask questions the moment she doesnt understand something. Even in the middle of a movie.
-It took Feferi untill they were on the meteor to realize just how desperate Eridan was.
-While Karkat doesn't really dislike human Will Smith, he is inferior in almost every way compared to troll Will Smith who is just so gosh darn perfect.

Series this work belongs to: