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Language:
English
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Published:
2025-04-04
Completed:
2025-04-04
Words:
4,974
Chapters:
4/4
Comments:
92
Kudos:
660
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It Must Have Been Love

Summary:

“I found this at Kara’s apartment.” Alex’s voice is calm, but there’s something heavy underneath it. Something frayed, unraveling. “In the trash.”

Lena stares at the envelope, at the familiar handwriting on the front. Her name. Kara’s handwriting. Her lungs feel too tight.

Alex sets the envelope down on Lena’s desk. “There were… others,” she continues. “Unfinished versions. Some were torn up. Some were barely started. But this one—” She exhales. “This is the one she actually wrote.”

Lena doesn’t touch it. Doesn’t move.

Alex hesitates, then straightens. “I thought you should have it.”

Lena forces herself to meet her eyes. “Why?”

Alex’s throat works, like she’s choosing her words carefully. Like she already knows Lena is looking for a reason to shut this down. To refuse. To pretend none of this matters.

“Because I don’t know if she’ll ever get the chance to say what’s in there.”

Notes:

A few days ago, I heard a hauntingly beautiful cover of “It Must Have Been Love” (Amber Leigh Irish, if you want to check it out)—and it just caught me❤️ the softness, the ache—it wouldn’t let go. And before I knew it, this story began to form.

I wanted to capture that feeling. The heartbreak of realizing too late that love was real. The way it lingers. The way it changes you. The waiting, the hoping, the not knowing if there’s a way back.

I think most of us have felt that, in some way.

This is a story about love and loss. About Kara, who knew she’d lose Lena but held on anyway. And about Lena, who still loves Kara—even when she hates her. I promise—it won’t end in heartbreak😉

It’s messy. It’s painful. But maybe some things are still worth saving.

If you’ve ever felt that ache—just know you’re not alone. And it does get better❤️‍🩹

Thanks for reading❤️

P.S. For the full experience, listen to the song while reading—I did while writing.

Chapter 1: It must have been love, but it‘s over now

Chapter Text

It Must Have Been Love, But It‘s Over Now

Lena,

I have started and erased this letter more times than I can count.

How do you put grief like this into words? How do you describe the feeling of standing in the wreckage of something you destroyed with your own hands?

You once told me I had a gift for words. That my writing was powerful because I understood people—because I understood what mattered, what made them feel, what made them human.

But I have never felt further from human than I do right now.

Because humans fight for what they love. They hold on.

And I—

I let you go.

No. That’s not even the truth.

The truth is, I always knew I was going to lose you.

And I have spent my entire life losing.

My home. My parents. My planet.

Jeremiah. Mon-El.

I have told myself, over and over, that it doesn’t hurt anymore. That I am strong enough to survive it. That I can endure loss because it is inevitable.

But this—

This is different.

Because losing you was not a possibility. It always was a certainty.

And I knew it.

From the beginning.

From the first moment you smiled at me. From the first time I realized you trusted me. From the first time I understood that I—God, I wanted you in my life.

I knew I would lose you.

I knew that the second you found out the truth—about me, about who I really am—you would stop looking at me the way you did.

Like I was someone worth trusting.

Like I was someone worth loving.

And I couldn’t stand it.

So I kept the truth from you.

I told myself it was to protect you. That it was to keep you safe.

But that was a lie, too, wasn’t it?

I did it because I was selfish.

Because I wanted to keep you.

Because I have lost everything I have ever loved, and you—you were the last thing I had left.

And I couldn’t let go.

I couldn’t bear the thought of you knowing the truth and walking away from me. I couldn’t live with the thought of you looking at me the way you do now—like I am nothing.

So I let myself believe, for a little while, that I could have you.

I let myself borrow time.

Even though I knew—God, I knew—that one day, you would find out.

And when you did, I would lose you.

I always knew this was coming.

And still—

Still, I held on.

Like a fool. Like a coward. Like someone who couldn’t stand the thought of another empty space in her life.

And now—

Now you are gone.

And I—

I don’t know how to exist in a world where I’m not allowed to love you anymore.

Because that’s the cruelest thing about love, isn’t it?

That sometimes, you don’t know it’s there until it’s gone. Until the door closes. Until the person you love stops looking at you the way they used to. Until the weight of their absence crushes you so completely that you finally understand—this was everything.

You were everything.

And now, you’re gone.

I don’t know how to breathe in a world where you don’t love me anymore. Even if it is just as a friend.

I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I don’t expect it. And I will never ask you for it.

But if I could go back—if I could tell you just one thing before the door closed, before you turned away, before I lost you forever—

I would tell you that I love you.

I would say it, just once, just so you would know, so that I would know I had the courage to say it while I still had the chance.

But I didn’t.

And now, it’s too late.

It must have been love.

And now, it’s over.

And I have nowhere left to go.

Kara