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The rain of April had been pouring for days, and it was quite gloomy, so most people were frustrated. But Takashi knew that life wasn’t always the way you wanted, and in his world, it rained often. And he never minded staying indoors, listening to the rain while reading a book. Nyanko was also mostly staying indoors, though he’d go out anyway, then wet the tatami and annoy Takashi, who had to clean it up. But it was fine.
“Takashi-kun,” Touko-san approached him softly, seeing that he hadn’t been seeing his friends outside of school since the rain had started and wasn’t letting up, “are you alright staying by yourself all this time, dear?”
Takashi smiled. “I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.”
She smiled back and sighed softly. “You’re a lovely child… you really are one of a kind. But you worry me sometimes. Please don’t push your friends away,” she said, and he nodded before she nodded back and left him with the snack she’d taken him. And he sighed and picked up the manju and the juice and ate slowly. Of course, he left a couple for Nyanko, because he would get mad if he didn’t get any since his nose was sharp.
Takashi was left alone with his book, actually a book in English which he was using to practice his English and had a dictionary right beside him. He was taking notes of words he didn’t know to remember them. The Night Circus. An interesting title he picked up at a secondhand shop. In truth, his circus happened all the time, not just at night, but he was enjoying the strange atmosphere of the story. It felt familiar and the odd energy was comforting. And it was studying as much as it was entertainment.
“Takashi,” he heard Shigeru-san’s voice and jolted a little, looking up from his notes after another word he didn’t know. His foster parent was holding a bag and a record player and smiling, “I have something for you, and I hope you enjoy it.”
“Oh…” Takashi blinked, looking at the items, “you didn’t have to…”
“Music is great on rainy days, and you could use some,” the man said and set the bag and record player on his desk, “I hope you like the records… I don’t know what youngsters like these days, and these are all from the secondhand shop…” he confessed with a little apologetic smile. Takashi opened his mouth, “but the player is new, so you can get your own records of music you like. Don’t decline it, I’ll be offended,” he said and smiled, and Takashi closed his mouth feeling a bit bad about it before cracking a silent smile, “it wasn’t expensive, and you deserve it. Enjoy the music. There is one I like very much…” he hummed pensively as he focused on the lyrics, “life is not a highway street and flowers…” he tried and then chuckled, “that’s probably wrong. Give it a listen and then correct it for me.”
“Thank you so much, Shigeru-san…” Takashi said and smiled and got a grin in return before Shigeru-san left. Takashi sighed quietly again and marked the page he was on and set everything aside with the dictionary and his notes before standing up. He padded over to the player and the bag of records, gingerly pulling out the records. There were a ton of them, too, and they did seem to be secondhand. A bunch of old music, a lot of it in English, too.
“Dean… Martin…” he read on one of them after plugging the player and hummed before popping the CD on the deck and turning it on, careful not to have the volume too loud.
It had some familiar tunes, and he understood some of it. Including the one about the flowers.
“Oh, strewn with flowers…” he muttered and noted it down with a little smile. It was a difficult one, so he got his dictionary out. Scattered. Yes, it made sense. Life was surely not a flowery street, was it? But the song was hopeful – recommended not being mad at the April rain because it brought the flowers of May.
“I smell manju…” he heard the familiar voice after the window was slid shut. Takashi huffed and went to get a cloth to dry the tatami as Nyanko strolled to the manju Takashi had left for him, “good you weren’t selfish.”
“Like you are,” Takashi grumbled after drying the floor as the music droned softly with the rain pelting against the window.
“Hm…” Nyanko didn’t care as he ate, eyeing the record player, “music? Where did these things come from?”
“Shgeru-san…”
“It’s in not-Japanese.”
“English.”
“Like I said, not-Japanese,” Nyanko repeated as he listened to the old music, “it’s not awful, it can stay,” he declared.
“I would seal you if you broke the gift Shigeru-san gave me,” Takashi threatened, glaring at him and putting the cloth away as Nyanko finished the manju and stared at him. A cloud of smoke filled the room with the explosion of Nyanko becoming Madara, who showed him his teeth. Takashi stared at him, tired. “Go ahead, eat me. I’d rather you do that than know I destroyed a thoughtful gift, not one hour after I was given it.”
Madara blew smoke out of his nose and narrowed his eyes. “Reckless child…” he whispered and lied down, “I don’t feel like taking the form humans see, I am tired. The rain is tiring… as important as I know it is.”
Takashi mumbled vaguely, listening to the music and sitting at his desk, still annoyed as he stared at the player. It was about not hating April showers because they make May flowers bloom. The afternoon was moving along, rainy and grey.
His cellphone buzzed and he grabbed it, seeing that it wasn’t just a text message. “Tanuma?” He read and picked it up, gripping the phone. “Hello? Tanuma?”
The heavy breathing on the other side of the connection had him on his feet because he heard what was unmistakably the sound of something growling. “Natsume… I didn’t want to bother you… something… something’s here, I…”
There was a thud, and the connection didn’t cut, but the growling continued. Natsume left the player on as he rushed out of the room and barely had time to put on shoes, let alone galoshes or a raincoat. Touko-san called after him and he yelled that Tanuma needed him. Madara followed him without saying anything as Natsume ran in the rain, getting soaked in a couple of minutes.
“NATSUME!” someone yelled, and it was Nishimura who was followed by Kitamoto, both with umbrellas rushing out of the arcade. “HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING IN THE RAIN?”
Takashi really didn’t need his closest friends to be involved in what could potentially harm them, but he couldn’t do much to stop them. “Tanuma called me! He needs help with something!” He yelled over the sound of the rain.
They were confused but followed him, and Madare glided along with them. The pathway was covered in fresh grass and blossoming flowers, hiding their petals from the rain and Natsume avoided stepping on them, even with soaked feet, because he knew some small youkai hid in those patches.
Natsume’s heart was pounding hard in his chest, and he was exhausted and soaked when he slid the door to Tanuma’s house open. He froze when he saw the massive youkai that had got there and Tanuma lying unresponsive on the floor.
“Tanuma!” Kitamoto cried and rushed to him with the others.
Natsume felt his eyes sting seeing his friend’s pale face, almost scared to touch his neck to check his vitals.
“He’s fine,” Madara said in his booming voice, “he is under the pressure of this bastard,” he growled back at the creature, it looked like a massive animal with many yellow eyes and wings, a terrifying combination of a spider and crow but it had fangs and growled. Natsume felt that Tanuma was alive, and his anger bubbled up. He didn’t want the fight to break out indoors, so he jumped in front of the creature, between it and Madara and the creature locked its eyes on him and was interested in him which was obvious – it was one of the youkai who ate humans with strong spiritual energies.
“It’s raining really badly, we need…” Kitamoto said, confused and worried.
“Look after him!” Natsume yelled as he ran outside with the creature right behind him.
“Foolish child!” Madara yelled as the youkai growled and cackled, but the truth was that the foolishness was minimal that day. His anger was so intense he felt like he was burning. He thought of Kaname, of his family, of the friends inside, of all the people he cared about. It sometimes sucked to have to hide some of his struggles, but it was worthwhile. And he wouldn’t let anything happen to those people, especially the vulnerable and helpless like Tanuma.
Madara was going to attack when Natsume did. Grabbing a wooden staff that he found outside, he wielded it with intent and his eyes sparked with rage when he charged against that thing and it didn’t have time to process that charging back meant being pierced and mangled by that object, glowing with Natsume’s energy in the loudly pouring rain. The staff exploded, and some splinters landed on Natsume’s hands, but he didn’t care. The youkai screeched and Madara finished it off by eating it and suddenly there was nothing but the sound of rain and breathing.
“Natsume,” Madara called, looking at him and seeing him pull out the splinters from his hand and throw them aside, “you’re a surprising human.”
But Natsume was crying. It had happened between the screech and the disappearance of the youkai. “Why…”
“You know why, do not blame yourself, fool,” Madara boomed and padded towards him, licking his wounds, healing them with his own energy, “Tanuma is a human that attracts losers like that. Strong enough, but weak enough. Unlike you,” he said, a bit softer and Natsume sniffled when his friends called from the door and he looked back, seeing Tanuma on his feet, looking guilty, ill, and sad when their eyes met. The rain was letting up and Takashi stood there, soaked, as if rooted to the soggy ground.
The feeling of wanting to run away from his friends and their looks was overwhelming. What if it wasn’t because of Tanuma’s own energy? What if it was because of his association with him?
“Natsume,” Madara called, loud and booming, but gentle and understanding, the familiar roar of a stubborn friend who’d do anything for him, “your misery is a waste of your energy and spreads,” he warned but Takashi couldn’t stop it and started shaking violently but before he could run away, he was caught. Tanuma ran towards him and stumbled onto him. Natsume’s instinct to protect his friend was stronger, and he held him, breaking his fall when he gripped his arms and gasped.
“It’s not your fault…” Tanuma whispered and gulped with reddened eyes, looking at him, “I attract these things… I was scared… I was so scared, I didn’t know who else to call… who was close,” he said, struggling for breath and Natsume felt his temperature – burning, “and trustworthy… I’m sorry…”
Natsume sniffled and held him, helping back into the house with Madara in tow. “Go lie down, Tanuma… you’re feverish…” he said, and their friends helped Tanuma get to his futon.
“You can use the showers… and my clothes,” he whispered as he was helped and pointed his closet.
Natsume picked up one of his kimonos after checking if it was the right one and went for the bathroom. Madara didn’t follow him, and he didn’t ask why, instead he soaked in the warm water of the furo tub after washing himself and crying a bit more, with the image of his friend etched in his mind, seeing the twilight’s warm colours peek through the small window as the rain let up and stopped, leaving only massive clouds behind.
And he was soaked in the warm water up to his nose when Madara showed up and stared at him, startling him a little.
“Still that annoying energy,” Madara said and exhaled some white vapour out of his nostrils, “it was not your fault. Tanuma agrees, and he’s a human, you’re frustrating!” He exclaimed, and the noise attracted some peeping youkai. Natsume felt nervous seeing the twinkling eye and the blue hair when the dog circle squeezed into the bathroom.
“Why is my beautiful Summer Eyes child so sad?” Hinoe said, leaning into the tub and Takashi looked up at her a little nervously and almost forgetting his sadness in favour of his nakedness. “Did Madara upset you?”
“It wasn’t me,” Madara defended, “fool. I’ve been trying to get him out of that energy!”
“No sad! Only joy!” One-eyed and Ox youkai cheered with their little fans, jumping about the small, cramped space. Natsume was surrounded by the Dog’s Circle, even Misuzu was enjoying the sight from the window and the bells were a bit relaxing but the overall situation? Not really.
“I’m fine!” Natsume yelled and then covered his mouth, remembering his friends. “Please give me some privacy! I’m having a bath!”
“I remember seeing Reiko bathe…” Hinoe said longingly with a smile, leaning on the edge of the tub and looking at Natsume, “so beautiful… just like you…”
“Pervert!” Natsume exclaimed, trying to keep it quiet and then breathed when she laughed and Misuzu also made fun of him. “I’m begging you, please leave… my friends are outside… the, the human ones,” he added, looking around and seeing them for what they were – concerned friends, attracted by his sadness. “I will meet you… when it’s not raining anymore,” he mumbled.
“Yay!” One-Eyed and Ox youkai cheered. “The flowers are about to bloom! They’re about to bloom! Meet us among the flowers for a picnic!”
Takashi endured a little kiss from Hinoe on the cheek before she left.
“Your sadness may attract evil youkai,” Misuzu warned with his deep voice before jangling away into the twilight sky.
Madara was the only one left and Natsume sighed, but the truth was that he felt lighter. Maybe it wasn’t his fault. He had attacked the evil youkai and successfully hurt it badly.
“More of that angry energy, less of the gloomy energy,” Madara said when Natsume got off the tub and emptied it before drying himself, “I was impressed, foolish human,” he said as Natsume dried up his hair and body before carefully putting on the kimono. It was a simple kind, a bit like a yukata, but a bit warmer and it felt soft, smelling like Tanuma’s detergent. He sighed as he combed his hair with his fingers before finding a wooden comb and gingerly using it before carefully taking off all his light-coloured hair strands from it and binning them. “Natsume…” Madara called as Natsume put on the tabi socks and readied himself to go back to his friends, “you’re foolish, frustrating, and worry too much for a lifeform that will live so little… but as much as you annoy me,” he said and Natsume glanced at him seeing his shining eyes, “you’re my prey… and I will not harm you, as much as I feel like sometimes…” he grumbled and Natsume saw the honest care he knew was behind the grousing and annoyance.
“I hope to see you when I’m on my deathbed, then,” Natsume said softly and smiled and Madara hummed, snorting a lot of white smoke out as Natsume padded back to Tanuma’s room. And he was surprised to find him sitting up, looking healthier and eating some food that Kitamoto had made for him. Their friends were sitting on the floor beside him and smiled when they saw him.
“Here he is,” Nishimura said, “we thought you’d drowned when you said you were fine!”
Kitamoto chuckled and Tanuma looked at him, smiled, assessing his look, but Natsume smiled back before slowly joining them on the floor. “Are you feeling better?”
“I am, actually, I’d been feeling feverish,” Tanuma said, “but now I’m not. I even took my temperature. I’m fine.”
Nyanko waddled into the room with all his rotund swagger and plopped next to them in silence.
“Oh, Ponta!”
Natsume glanced at Nyanko, who had closed his eyes and wondered – could he heal small things? Maybe. He was a powerful youkai after all, and his hand wounds healed from his licks.
“Thank you for coming to me when I called…” Tanuma said, and Natsume smiled.
“I’m happy you trusted me to help you,” Natsume said at last and Nyanko opened one eye to glance at him, “that’s… what friends do.”
They chatted for a while longer and had some of Kitamoto’s sweet mush as they did, complained about school and all the schoolwork they already had, even though the year had barely started.
Tanuma told Natusme that he’d have his clothes washed and take them to him when they met again, and Natsume said he’d have his clothes cleaned and return them to him, too. Natsume lingered a little and said he’d do the washing up as their friends patted their backs and left.
“Madara appeared, didn’t he?” Tanuma asked when they were alone and Natusme returned to his room.
Natsume nodded. “And helped you. He can do that when he wants… are you really okay?” he asked softly, looking at him in the dim, yellowish light of the room. Tanuma reached his hand to his and smiled.
“I am, I promise,” Tanuma whispered and took the hand to his lips, tenderly. A touch like their relationship, close, gentle, tender, intimately platonic, never beyond lingering hugs and fluttering kisses. The strange connection they had was mysterious even to Madara, and only youkai connected with the meanderings of the red thread of love and fate understood it. Natsume blushed softly and sniffled but smiled before scooting closer to him to hold his cheeks and look him the eyes. Tanuma held Natsume’s cheeks, too, when they pressed their foreheads together. Natsume confirmed that the fever was gone, and their noses brushed softly, before their eyelashes fluttered against one another and they smiled at the ticklish feeling of the “butterfly kiss”. “You know I’ll run to you when you need me, too, don’t you?”
Natsume nodded in silence before deciding to use his voice. “Of course, I know… as much as sometimes that scares me…” he whispered and sighed and Tanuma chuckled softly before leaning closer, ever-so-slightly, enough to close the distance between their lips and place a chaste kiss on Natsume’s parted lips. It lingered, was returned, turned to a silent hug and deep sighs and a quiet confession of love.
“Cover your eyes when you sleep,” Natsume whispered when they pulled apart, missing the comforting warmth of each other. Tanuma looked confused. “Youkai can’t detect you properly if they can’t see your eyes.”
“Oh, noted, I remember that one from somewhere…” Tanuma hummed as Natsume went to get him a makeshift mask that would stay on his face and protect him, getting a string to ensure he could tie it, before handing it over, “thanks,” Tanuma said and smiled as Natsume smiled back after Nyanko yawned dramatically and waddled to the door. “See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.”
Natsume made his way home, walking on geta and seeing the shining twilight fade into darkness and the glowing trees turn dark as they walked down the soggy path.
“Proper things to wear on your stupid feet,” Nyanko complained, trying to avoid the mud.
Natsume received hugs from his foster parents as a greeting and gasped. They worried about him after seeing him rush out and then return in different clothes. He carefully explained that his friend Tanuma needed his help because he was feeling ill and he worried because he heard him fall over the phone, but he was fine now.
“I’m so sorry I worried you…” he mumbled.
“It’s okay,” Shigeru-san said and smile, “what matters is that you returned, and you helped a friend.”
“I’ll wash Tanuma-kun’s clothes so that you can return them,” Touko-san said, “and have them dry with the rest near the heaters…” he sighed as her husband chuckled.
The record player was still on when he got up to his room and he realised that he must have activated the looping feature.
And Dean Martin was droning on, quietly, in his old-timey voice,
Though April showers may come your way,
They bring the flowers that bloom in May,
So if it’s raining, have no regrets,
Because it isn’t raining rain you know, it’s raining violets.
The clouds were still gliding through the sky and the rain was not over, but it was for the time being and Dean Martin was right – life wasn’t always a pathway strewn with flowers, and April showers could be gloomy, but they brought the flowers that bloomed in May and were already blooming. The fields were already turning colourful.
And it sure was nice to see the shine over the plants, leaves, and petals after a downpour and the world seemed to glow, a shower of fleeting diamonds.
He met his friends at the crossroads that led to school and smiled at all of them. Taki was firing questions about the events of the previous night, but once Nyanko came into view, she left the questionnaire for later when it was safer, in favour of grabbing the chunky cat.
“Did you sleep well?” Natsume asked Tanuma as their friends chatted and Tanuma nodded with a smile. “I should have let you know about the mask before…” he said quietly. But Tanuma smiled and shook his head.
“I know now. Don’t worry. And it seems like the rain is calming down,” he changed the subject and pointed at the flowers, “look.”
Natsume smiled, still with the song stuck in his head. Of course, life was not a highway strewn with flowers, let alone to people like him, but the gloomy showers made the cheery flowers bloom, and he had to remember that sometimes flowers were people… or people-adjacent creatures that he cared about and cared about him, too.