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A week. A damn week of a constant migraine, joint pain, dizziness, and nausea.
All day, every day, for seven vile days.
Rain is fucking exhausted.
When he flares up, the water ghoul gets into one of his three set moods; it’s either depression, denial, or anger. He went through all these moods already this time, and has finally faded out of denial and into anger. Rain is furious and decides to get himself up, clench his jaw against the pain and do something to get himself feeling better.
It never works out particularly well when he does that, but there’s no talking him out of it, either. There isn’t even anyone around to try, as Rain kicked his mates out two days prior; having gotten tired of them babying him.
Holding onto the wall he limps to the bathroom, where he runs a hot bath with some nicely smelling essential oils of Mountain’s making. He grabs both a heating pad and an ice pack, putting them on his forehead and the back of his neck respectively, once he gets into and settles in the bath. He sighs in pleasure; this combination helps the body pain, the migraine, and the nausea.
Rain doesn’t know—and doesn’t care about—how much time he spends there, but once the water gets too cold to provide him with some pain relief, he decides to get out. First he washes and deep-conditions his hair and does some skincare; puts on a face mask, scrubs his body real good with a selection of fancy cosmetics, then washes the mask off. Once he drains the water, he rubs his favorite lotion into his skin, and another special moisturizer around his gills.
Finally, the water ghoul gets up to dry himself; he is actually feeling so much better already. He thinks he has won.
Alas, when he grabs a hairbrush, intending to braid his hair to get some waves once it dries, he realizes there is no winning against his disability.
Rain knows what’s about to happen when his ears start to ring, his body gets all hot, and the edges of his vision go dark. He grabs onto the edge of the sink and, knowing better than to try to be stubborn about this, he tries to call out for someone.
“He–” his voice cracks, “need help…”
He doesn’t know if it was loud enough, or if there’s even anyone around. The water ghoul tries once again, hoping it’s louder this time; right before the world goes fully dark for him.
Dewdrop and Swiss run into the bathroom just in time to watch Rain crumple to the floor. The multi ghoul swears under his breath while Dewdrop throws himself forwards to try to at least keep Rain’s head from slamming against the edge of the tub—to some extent it works, but the water ghoul’s migraine is definitely not going away anytime soon.
Around ten minutes later, after Dewdrop and Swiss have carried him back to his bed and went through the usual Rain-passed-the-fuck-out routine, the water ghoul comes back online. He’s clearly confused at first, but it’s only a moment before all the dots connect in his mind. He is not happy.
Swiss and Dewdrop recognize the look on his face all too well; the ways his eyes narrow, his brows furrow, the corners of his lips turn down. He’s about to snap and there is no good way to go about this.
“Do you need anything?” Swiss says—a rather neutral question. Dewdrop stays silent. Rain opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens again before any words tumble out of it; though not an answer to the multi ghoul’s question.
“I wake up in pain, I go about my day in pain, and I go to bed in pain. I’m sick of it!” Rain yells, punching the bed. “I can’t–can’t even have one nice day, can’t brush my fucking hair!”
“Rain–” Dewdrop starts, but doesn’t get to continue
“No, don’t patronize me!”
“He wasn’t going–” Swiss tries, but gets cut off as well.
“You know what? I wish I could just...not wake up one day. I’d go to bed—in pain—and then just not wake up. How cool would that be!?” Rain snaps, making Dewdrop let out a quiet gasp and shrink a little where he’s standing. It’s not the first time the water ghoul has said something like this, but it never gets easier for Dewdrop to hear it; to think about what he’s implying. Swiss grabs and squeezes his hand.
“Please, don’t say that,” the fire ghoul whines.
“Well, I just did! But don’t worry, I’m too much of a cunt to speed up the process.”
“Rain,” Swiss growls, then—actually growls, deep in his throat, with his teeth bared. His intention is clear and it works; it snaps Rain out of his frenzy and makes him realize what he’s doing and how he’s hurting them. “Dew doesn’t deserve you talking to him like this and you know it.”
That makes the water ghoul’s eyes flash again.
“Do you…do you know how it feels? Not being able to live like normal? Not remembering what it means to be normal? Not remembering not being in pain?” Rain speaks in a terrifyingly calm and collected way, at the same time piercing holes in the bedding with his claws. “Because I don’t remember, you know? I don’t remember what it is not to be in pain. It’s been so long that I’ve completely forgotten.”
Silence falls, then. Rain said all he had to say, the other two don’t know what there is to be said.
After a moment, Swiss sighs, wiping a hand down his face,“I’m sorry, Raincloud.”
“I may not hurt in the same way as you, Rainy,” the fire ghoul says sadly; it always upsets him when Rain yells at him, and yet he always looks past it, “but there are things that have been forcefully taken from me and my memory of them is fading more and more every day.”
Rain’s cold facade crumbles and he bursts into tears.
“I’m–I’m sorry for snapping at–at you,” he sobs, burning in shame and with a different kind of frustration than before “You’re right, I’m not the–the only one who’s in pain. One way or another. I’m so sorry…”
Neither Swiss nor Dewdrop reply—at least not verbally. The multi ghoul gets in bed and settles against the headboard. He then opens his arms for the water ghoul, smiling softly, “C’mere, princess.”
Rain can’t—and doesn’t even want to—fight anymore; not them, not himself, and certainly not the exhaustion pulling at his eyelids. He nods and scooches forward to lay down against Swiss’ chest. He sighs in relief when he does—as if he’s already forgotten how comfortable the multi ghoul’s cuddles are.
Behind Rain, Dewdrop adjusts the covers and crawls in, as well. He glues himself to the water ghoul’s back and throws an arm over his middle, to hold him. No more words spoken.
Rain wants to cry.
He doesn’t deserve those two, they’re so good to him despite his all but repulsive behavior. He was never able to comprehend the why.
Rain does cry.
He knows he can, between Swiss and Dewdrop, he knows that now they will keep quiet and never, ever, judge him. Yes, he will get a lecture about all of this, but only when he’s feeling better; they don’t ever want to hurt him in return.
He will never be able to comprehend the why.