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Dew was in a real foul mood today. His constant aching all over was worse, for reasons unknown to probably fucking Satan himself. He should be used to it already, the pain didn’t leave him for more than fifteen minutes since that god damn elemental change, but still, it made him even more snappy than usual. Nothing good could come out of that day.
And it didn’t.
“You can’t behave like this, Dew, for fuck’s sake, get a grip!”
Absolutely no one expected the one to snap and yell at Dewdrop to be Rain . Yes, he was feisty, but he never, ever yelled at his mates. It was hard for him to even be upset with them.
But here they were.
Dew’s fingers were fumbling over the fretboard all practice, unusually stiff and aching, and the frustration that was gathering inside him all day was reaching its peak in no time. It did when the fire ghoul messed “Ritual” outro up. He slapped the guitar then, stumbling backward and falling into Rain. The water ghoul tried to mumble something in the lines of “It’s okay, relax" to him.
It did the opposite.
Dew’s temperature raised itself so high all six strings on his guitar snapped, few at once scratching Rain’s outstretched arm. He backed off, Dew shouted for him to stop being so unnecessarily nice, and when Rain tried to approach him once again, he flung the guitar off of himself, probably accidentally, hitting his mate. It wasn’t hard, couldn’t really hurt the ghoul, but Dew hit him .
Both ghouls froze, but when Dew felt tears gathering in his eyes he turned on his heel and ran towards the door. That’s when Rain yelled, and Dewdrop’s tears spilled, just out of the room.
Everyone in there was silent, the atmosphere suddenly so tense Swiss felt like he could barely move through the air.
“Fuck, I shouldn’t have done that,” Rain whispered after a few moments to him, he went down to check up at least on one of his mates. The water ghoul started to panic now. “I shouldn’t have done that. He- he will close up, he- Swiss, I…”
“Shhh, he’ll be fine,” the multi ghoul assured, pressing Rain into his chest. “You too, Rainbow, it’ll be fine.”
Soon after that, Rain, vibrating with anxiousness and guilt, went with the rest of the pack to the common room, while Swiss went to see Dew in their room. He opened the door quietly, and thanked Satan in his mind that their little mate didn't lock it.
Dew was curled up on his side in the middle of their nest, back to the door, burrowed in a few blankets. When Swiss came closer he noticed he was hugging a big shark plushie, nearly as big as the ghoul himself. The multi ghoul knew that this one was gifted to him by Ifrit years ago, and Swiss didn't need to use the bit of quintessence he had to know that right now Dew was stuck on a loop of memories of his days as a water ghoul.
Swiss sighed, and approached the nest more, "Dewy?"
He didn't know if he even noticed him entering the room, and the only response he got was a quiet sniffle.
The multi ghoul sat at the edge of the bed, softly reaching out his hand to lay it at Dew's shoulder.
It was a mistake, one he already cursed himself for.
Dew shot up, and crawled up the bed in panic, getting as far from Swiss as he could, and his heart nearly broke there and there, his mate running away from him like that.
"I'm sorry, hey, it's okay," he tried, now his only goal was to try to relax his distressed mate at least a bit. "Rain's sorry too, he shouldn't have lashed out, guilt's eating him alive right now, Dewbug."
A few moments of silence fell, Dewdrop's eyes burning holes into the bedding.
"He's right," he said finally, voice so terribly small.
"What?"
"He's right," Dew repeated. "I'm shit."
"Dewy, no, you're-" Swiss tried, it just couldn't go there.
"No, Swiss. I only cause fucking problems," Dew interrupted him. "I don't even know why any of you is still bothering with me if I'm so problematic."
"Dew, it's not like that, what are you even-" the multi ghoul felt tears gathering in his own eyes, matching his mate's.
"I know what I am, believe me, I hate who I became too, but I can't fucking help any of it," Dew stopped, taking a shaky breath. "I can't help it, and I know I don't deserve anything you give me. Then why are you still trying?"
The question hung in the air. Swiss knew there was one, clear answer to it, and yet it wouldn't satisfy Dew.
"Because we love you, baby," he said anyway. "Because that's what love is about, and you don't have to deserve anything for us to give it to you, to love you."
Dewdrop finally lifted his head, looking up at Swiss. When he saw only this love he was speaking about painted out on his features, he broke down into body shaking sobs.
"Everyone has some faults, and they shine through more or less sometimes," Swiss continued. "We won't stop loving you, we won't leave you only because you've got a short temper, Dewbug."
Another minute of silence, Swiss decided to try again, "Can I touch you? Hold you?"
Dew nodded, barely noticeable, and in a blink of an eye his mate gathered his small frame into his arms, and curled him sideways up against his broad chest.
"It's okay, shhh, really," Swiss whispered, running his hand over Dew's back. "No one hates you, baby."
"I do," Dew replied and if Swiss thought his heart couldn't break more, now it absolutely shattered. "I hate who I am now, I hate what they made me."
"But we love you," it was the only thing Swiss could choke out. "We always will."
"I don't even know why."
"Because there's so much good in you, there's so much beauty, even though you can't see it. You're the most perfect creature on Earth, and in the Pits, even if technically it's not possible. You're perfect for us, you are ours."
"'m sorry," Dew let out between sobs.
"Don't be. We know you are in pain, we understand, it's impossible to always keep the I'm-fine act up, and we don't want you to. But we are our own ghouls, and sometimes we can snap too. Just like Rain did today. It happens but it doesn't mean we love you any less. Okay?" Swiss really hoped this one would do, at least for now, because he didn't have any more words, he had no idea what could finally get to the small, insecure ghoul's head.
"Okay," came back from him. "Can you… can you call for Rainy? Can he come here?"
"Of course, Dewbug," Swiss smiled softly, after all, sending a calling impulse to Rain through their bond.
Soon enough the water ghoul burst through the door, cheeks tear stained. When he took in the scene in the room, he threw himself onto his knees on the edge of the bed, taking Dew's hand into his own cool, shaky ones.
"I'm so sorry, baby, I never wanted to yell at you, please forgive me, I shouldn't have, I'm so sorry, ple-"
"Rain, shhh," Dew interrupted his rambling. "I'm not upset at you, with you, whatever. Stop apologizing, it's me who should."
"Dew, I-"
"Shut up and come cuddle," Swiss chuckled, his humorous expression back, even though he wouldn't forget the things Dew said for weeks.
Rain wiped his face with a sleeve of his hoodie, and obliged. He sat behind Dewdrop's back, sneaking his arms around his tiny waist and rested his head on Swiss' shoulder.
Maybe they should talk some more.
Swiss thought he and Rain should get their mate rid of these awful insecurities right away.
The water ghoul thought he should apologize more.
And Dew?
Dew just wanted to understand.