Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Makoto walked up the stairs to the diner at Shibuya. How long had it been, she thought, since the Phantom Thieves had been together? Around a year since their road trip across Japan. It was hard to believe it had been that long.

Not that this was a true meeting of the Phantom Thieves, not like it used to be. It would never be quite the same without Ren around, but he lived too far away now to join the rest of them so casually like this. But now that Ann was back in Japan after spending some time traveling and modeling, she'd started up their group chat again, and said she missed hanging out with everyone, and she wanted to see if they could all meet up. Not everyone could be here today, but Makoto smiled as she turned a corner and heard a voice she knew.

"Hey, Makoto!"

Ryuji waved to her from a booth, where he sat with Ann and Haru. It looked like they hadn't ordered yet, but Ann already had an enormous parfait on the table in front of her.

Ryuji kept grinning at Makoto as she walked up and sat down. Once she'd settled herself, he asked, "That's all of us who's gonna be here today, yeah?"

"I think so," Haru said. "Yusuke said he has an art show, and Futaba's studying for exams, isn't she?"

"That's right," Makoto said. She looked around at her friends, and gave a small smile. This already felt so familiar, in the best way. "It's good to see all of you, though. I'm glad this many of us could make it."

"Been way too long," Ryuji said. He still hadn't stopped smiling. "College is pretty damn cool, but there's nothing like the old gang getting back together, y'know?"

"And how is college going?" Makoto asked. She glanced at Ann, who hadn't said anything yet; she seemed somehow preoccupied, a concerned look on her face. "I remember you telling us you got a track scholarship."

"Yeah, just barely," Ryuji said. His smile finally disappeared as he looked a little embarrassed. "I've got to keep up my running and my grades at the same time, that's the only way they'll let me stick around. It's been a rough year."

"I'm guessing your study habits haven't changed much," Makoto said, giving him just enough of a look to remind him of their old study sessions. Next to her, Haru giggled, while Ryuji himself just cringed.

"You ain't kidding," he said. "But I'm not the only one, and the track team's got a study group going on the regular, so it's actually working out okay." He paused, then looked kind of put out. "Dorm life sucks, though, it's noisy as hell all the time." He glanced between Haru and Makoto. "What about you two, how's the university going?"

Makoto glanced at Haru, who nodded to her. "It's been going well," Makoto said. She and Haru had ended up going to the same university, which had been a welcome surprise to them both. "The law program keeps me busy, but I have time for aikido club most weeks. It's nothing I can't handle."

"It's about the same for me," Haru said. "But I'm still studying business with some agriculture classes when I can, so between that and the company . . . I'm so busy most of the time." She looked at Makoto, something unsure in her expression. "I feel like we hardly even see each other, even though we're in the same dorm."

"That's true," Makoto said, frowning. At Ryuji's questioning look, she added, "We're in an all-girls dorm, one train stop away from campus. It's a pretty good place, most of the time."

"The rooms are nicer than I thought they'd be," Haru added with a small smile.

"Probably better than my dorm," Ryuji muttered.

"Probably." Makoto turned to Haru and was about to ask her something when Ryuji spoke up again.

"Hey, Ann, you okay?" he asked. "You've barely touched that parfait. Usually it'd be half-gone by now."

Makoto paused, and looked at Ann. Ryuji was right. Not only had Ann not said anything, she'd hardly touched the dessert in front of her. Neither of those was like her at all – she'd organized this, did she not want to talk to them? And Ann's face was turning red, like Ryuji had upset her, or . . . or something else.

"Ann, are you all right?" Haru asked, and leaned forward, concern clear in her voice. "If you need to talk about something, we're here. Or if you just want to talk to one of us . . . I know it can be hard to talk about things with a big group sometimes."

"Yeah, what she said," Ryuji added. "You know you can talk to us about anything, right?"

Makoto nodded. "If you don't want to, it's fine, but if something's going wrong, you can tell us."

Ann ducked her head, making her bangs fall over her face, and barely mumbled, "I'm . . . I'm seeing someone."

Makoto drew back a little, her eyebrows rising. That was a surprise, though she wasn't sure how much of one it should be. Out of all of them, Ann was the most at ease with people in general, so it seemed natural that she'd meet someone, and would probably have no trouble doing so. And she'd spent some time traveling, which only raised the odds of her finding someone. But what was making her so nervous about this?

"Oh, that's wonderful," Haru said. She was still leaning forward, like she was eager to know more.

"Yeah, that's great." Ryuji nudged her shoulder. "You gonna tell us who, or do we get to guess?"

Ann's face somehow turned even redder, and her lips moved, but nothing came out. Makoto leaned in, in case Ann was whispering, but after a few tries, Ann finally forced out a single word.

". . . Shiho."

Makoto's mouth slowly fell open as her mind raced. Of all the names Ann could have said, she hadn't expected that. She'd known about Ann's best friend for a long time, as she had been a key part of why Ann joined the Phantom Thieves in the first place. But Shiho hadn't come up much over the past two years. And Makoto hadn't had any idea that their relationship had . . . changed like that.

"It's Shiho," Ann said, lifting her head, tears brimming in her eyes. "I . . . we started seeing each other more and more when I moved back to Japan, until she was practically living at my parents' place with me, and we just got closer and closer. And things just – just kind of happened!"

"Wow," Ryuji breathed.

Haru reached across the table and handed Ann a handkerchief. "I'm so happy for you, Ann," she said, a genuine smile on her face.

"Oh, I was so nervous about telling you guys," Ann said, dabbing at her eyes. She was starting to smile, though she still spoke very quickly, like she wanted to get everything out before her courage failed her. "I never thought this would happen. Anything like this, or anything with her. But it's just – it feels perfect, it's like it's everything I wanted and I didn't even know it until it was there and I didn't know what you all would think and I've been worried about this for weeks but I had to get everyone together and tell them."

Ann paused, took a deep breath, and wiped her eyes again, then smiled at all of them. "I'm just so happy with her, I swear, and I don't even know how it happened but I want it to stay like this," she said. "And I just . . . hoped you'd be happy for me too."

There was a quiet moment, and Makoto wondered what she should or shouldn't say. This wasn't the sort of conversation she was good at, and she'd never been in this position before. Fortunately, Haru stepped in.

"Of course we'd be happy for you, why wouldn't we?" Haru asked. "We've heard you talk about Shiho, we know how much she means to you."

Ann nodded, then let out a quiet, desperate laugh and sunk back into her seat, clearly relieved.

"Totally," Ryuji added. "I remember how you were about her back in school, and everything that went down with her." He paused, and tilted his head. "And y'know, it kind of makes sense that you'd end up with her. I don't remember you ever wanting to date anyone back in school, so-"

"Ryuji!" Ann snapped.

He held his hands up in front of himself. "What? It's true!" He laughed, though it sounded a little forced. "And if you were worried about us getting weirded out because she's a girl, don't. Some of the guys on the track team are into guys, it's not even a big deal."

Makoto nodded. "I can't speak for the ones who aren't here, but I don't think you have anything to worry about," she said. "We're your friends and we've known you for a long time, Ann, and we've been through so much together. Nothing about that is going to change."

It wasn't the most reassuring thing in the world, Makoto thought, but she didn't have as much experience with this sort of thing as she would have liked. People didn't tend to come to her with their emotional issues. She was definitely glad that Haru and Ryuji were there to help her deal with this . . . though Haru looked worried, or maybe concerned. Or something else entirely. What was she thinking about?

"But thank you for telling us," Makoto continued. "I'm glad you didn't feel like you had to hide this from us."

"I didn't want to hide it," Ann said. "You're my friends, you should know. And I don't know if I was worried about what everyone would say, or think, or whatever. It's just – you never know what someone's going to say about this." She let out a long breath. "But thank you. I'm just glad – I'm happy that you guys are good with this."

Ann grabbed her spoon and began attacking her parfait with a fury, like she'd suddenly remembered it was there and had to make up for not getting to it earlier. It was clear that she'd had a lot of complicated feelings about this, but hopefully Ann would feel better now that she'd gotten this out to all of them.

Makoto glanced over at Haru again. The other woman still looked concerned, and Makoto frowned. Haru clearly had something on her mind, and it would be best to ask her about it later. Maybe they'd have a moment to talk on the train back to the dorm.

But not right now. One major personal revelation was enough for one day, and they hadn't even ordered their food yet.

The rest of the lunch conversation went on much as Makoto had expected it would. There was something deeply comforting in renewing the bonds with old friends; she'd truly missed hanging out with the rest of the one-time Phantom Thieves, and hopefully they'd be able to do this again soon. With Ann now living in Japan again, and her being the most social of all of them, it seemed likely, but Makoto made a mental note to see about doing her own part to make sure it happened too.

With that in mind, Makoto stepped up to Haru as they were all walking out of the diner. "Haru, I was wondering," she began, "have you ever thought about joining the aikido club?"

Haru blinked at her, surprise clear on her face. Her brow furrowed just a little bit. "I . . . I hadn't thought about that at all, no."

Makoto gave her a small smile. "I know it might not be your kind of thing. But it's a good group of people, kind of weird but not in any way we can't handle. I'd been wondering about it, since you're not swinging an axe at shadows anymore."

She glanced behind herself as they walked. Ryuji and Ann were talking as they headed out of the diner, and it seemed like they were getting along as always. Something about them usually made Makoto think they seemed like arguing siblings, even when they were smiling.

"I might be interested," Haru said, and when Makoto looked back at her, she was faintly blushing, which seemed strange. "I hadn't thought about it, but I probably could use some stress relief, with the class load I'm taking. Could you let me know when the club's next meeting is?"

"It's three times a week, and the next one's in a few days," Makoto said with a nod. "It's in one of the athletics buildings – I'm not sure if you've been there, but it's easy to find."

"That sounds good," Haru said, and they walked out of the diner together. She took a few quicker steps away, then turned. "Let me know, please? I'll see if it's something I'd like."

Makoto paused. Why was Haru suddenly in a hurry? "All right," she said. "I'll text you later."

"Thank you. Goodnight, everyone!" Haru waved, then hurried off toward the train station.

Makoto watched her leave, pausing outside the diner as Ann and Ryuji caught up to her. Ryuji yelled his goodbyes, and Makoto frowned as Haru walked away. It was getting toward evening, and they were both going back to the dorm, as far as she knew. So why would Haru head out in such a rush?

Haru walked quickly into the Shibuya station, then slowed and told herself to take a breath. Had she left too suddenly? She didn't want to leave her friends behind like that, but. . . .

The moment when Ann said she was dating Shiho played again in Haru's mind, the sudden admission and the tears in her eyes – happy tears, Haru reassured herself, as Ann must have been overwhelmed, wondering what her friends would think and hoping for the best from them all. And yet, Haru had looked away, to Makoto, to see what the other girl thought.

At the moment, she'd hardly been thinking about Ann at all.

Haru hoped that didn't make her a bad friend. But something in her mind had started to wake when Ann came out to them, and something about having Makoto right next to her had made some old memories bubble to the surface and demand her attention.

One memory in particular – when Makoto and Ren first found her at Shujin, after their . . . mildly embarrassing first meeting in the Metaverse. Haru hadn't expected she'd be found out so easily, but looking back, all she could think of was what she'd said to Makoto.

"You looked really good in that biker gang outfit!"

Of all the things to say. But she'd meant it, hadn't she.

Haru sighed, and checked the time on her phone. It was late, but not too late. And that meant she could go somewhere else and think, instead of heading back to the dorm. It would be best to clear her head, and she knew just the place.

Haru stepped onto a train heading away from her university and her dorm, and stepped off at Yongen-Jaya.

The narrow streets felt familiar, and Haru let her mind drift as memories came back. Had everything happened only two years ago? So much of her life had changed, all from a chance meeting, finding Morgana in an alley, hurting from his trip into her father's Palace. She tried to push away the more painful parts of those memories; she'd taken time to grieve over the years, but some things never truly stopped hurting. Now wasn't the time for that. Now, she had something completely different on her mind.

The bell that rang when she opened the door to LeBlanc sounded like it always had, a small comfort in its own way. She took a deep breath as she walked inside, and let the scent of a dozen different kinds of coffee wash over her, along with the ever-present spice of curry. She sat down at the counter, and smiled as Sojiro lowered his newspaper.

"Haru," the old man said, surprise clear in his voice. "It's been a long time. How have you been?"

"Hello, Sojiro." While her smile wasn't forced, she was sure it looked a little strained around the edges. "It's good to see you."

"You too," he said, putting his paper away. "I can't remember the last time one of your group came in here. What brings you by?"

Haru took a deep breath. "I kind of had a lot on my mind all at once," she said, carefully, "and I thought some good coffee could help me sort things out."

Sojiro chuckled. "You're in the right place for that," he said, the familiar pride in his work clear in his voice as he stepped over to one of the coffee machines. "I think I've got just the thing."

Haru waited while Sojiro brewed and poured, then took a deep breath again when he set a steaming mug in front of her. "Oh, I know this one," she said. "It's Salvadoran Pacamara. I learned something about it in one of my agriculture classes."

"That's the one," Sojiro said. He leaned back against the racks of coffee beans, his eyes half-closed. "You want to share what's on your mind? Not a problem if you don't," he added, holding up one hand, "I just know it's easier if you get it out."

Haru lowered her eyes, then took a sip to give herself a moment to think. Oh, this was not something she could talk about right now. She didn't even know if she had the words for what she was thinking about, and even the thought of admitting what had run through her mind when she looked at Makoto made her want to flee just a tiny bit.

But Sojiro was right. Talking about it could help. Even if she had to talk around it.

"Have you ever . . . realized something was different about yourself," she began, not looking away from her coffee, "and maybe it had been for a long time, but you'd never really recognized it? Until something happened that – that made it impossible to ignore?"

Sojiro looked at her over the top of his glasses, then muttered, "Hoo boy," and poured a cup of the same coffee for himself. "You don't come in with simple problems, do you?"

"I'm sorry," Haru said, managing a small smile.

He just waved his hand at her. "I've got a teenager, I get it," he said. "And as for your question, maybe." He took a sip of his coffee. "You might not believe it, but I was quite the ladies' man when I was younger."

Haru considered. Sojiro had some old-fashioned charm, that was true, and he'd built that into the café itself. Though imagining him as young and charming seemed a tiny bit odd. But she nodded, and gestured for him to continue.

"I enjoyed being that way, being thought of that way," he said, looking out the cafe's window into the evening light. "Then I met someone who was so far out of my league, and it made me see myself different. It made me realize I'd been dealing with everyone the same way, like it was a habit. I had to rethink how I interacted with everyone, like I was a different person, because this one person didn't fall for my usual charm. It also kind of made me wonder what I'd been doing with my life." He sipped again, and looked back to Haru. "That was Futaba's mother."

"I see," Haru said, and drank some more coffee while she considered. "It makes sense that . . . you could meet someone who makes you change how you see yourself." She tried not to wince at that. It sounded too much like a confession, though she didn't think Sojiro understood what she wasn't saying. She couldn't put words to it, not yet; even the thought that it was Makoto who started all these thoughts of seeing herself differently was too much to deal with right now.

"But I suppose that's what happens when you meet new people," Haru continued, not sure if she was talking to him or just herself. "They change things."

"Have you met someone new who's changed how you see yourself?" Sojiro asked.

The sudden bluntness nearly sent Haru backwards off her chair. She waved her hands a little, and felt her face start to turn red. "Oh, it's nothing like that, just something that's been on my mind recently," she said, unable to hide how flustered she was. Sojiro wasn't buying it, she could tell. "I suppose . . . that's what the college years are for, aren't they? Meeting new people and learning new things about yourself, figuring out who you are."

Sojiro smirked as he sipped again. "You have no idea."

Haru paused. "What . . . what changed for you in college?"

"I'm not telling you that."

She smiled, and shook her head. "I suppose not. But thank you, this has helped a little." Haru finished her coffee and set some bills on the counter, even as Sojiro tried to wave them away. "I'll try to stop by again sometime."

The familiar bell rang as Haru headed out, and her face still felt warm as she stepped outside. That was not how she had thought that conversation would go. Who would have guessed Sojiro would know the exact thing to ask that she didn't want to answer? And how–

Her phone buzzed in her coat pocket. Haru frowned, then pulled it out and found a new text message.

FUTABA: wow, you must have something heavy going on

FUTABA: if you're going to the old man for advice

Haru peered at her phone. Futaba had heard that conversation? How? And if she'd known Haru was there, why hadn't she come by? They hadn't seen each other for quite a long time.

HARU: Futaba? You heard me talking to your father?

FUTABA: yeah, i've got the place miked, have for years

That was mildly disturbing, though not entirely a surprise. But Haru supposed if anyone was going to be listening in, at least it was one of her friends. And maybe Futaba would be easier to talk to than Sojiro. At least being much closer in age would make it easier for her to understand.

FUTABA: besides, i've been doing nothing but studying for exams

FUTABA: my brain is full and i'm bored

FUTABA: and you're the most interesting person who's been to leblanc in weeks

Haru smiled. That sounded about right. She sighed as she started heading toward the Yongen-Jaya station.

Maybe . . . no, she wasn't really ready to talk about this yet. She'd just started thinking about Makoto the way Ann thought about Shiho–

Haru froze right in the middle of the station entrance, then quickly ducked aside, apologizing as she almost ran into someone heading out. That was it, wasn't it. That was the first time she'd thought that, and it was true, and she had to admit it to herself.

She could genuinely be interested in Makoto. As . . . more than just a friend. Something in her insides twisted up and something felt released at the same time, confusion and relief all at once, like no part of her was ready to deal with this or even think about it properly.

And then her phone buzzed again.

FUTABA: you still there? you dodge-rolled my dad's question like you're in a soulslike, you doing the same to me?

HARU: I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind.

FUTABA: okay, duh, i get that

FUTABA: but now you've got me curious and i want to know

The last text was followed by a series of emoji, all devious grins, some oddly suggestive. Haru smiled a little at that, then heard her train being called out, and dashed across the station to make sure she didn't miss it. She barely made it on, and held on tight as the train started moving, back toward the university and the dorm.

After taking a moment to collect herself, Haru pulled her phone out again.

HARU: I'm sorry, I almost missed my train. And thank you, but I don't know if I can talk about this tonight. There's just too much going on in my head right now.

FUTABA: oh i get that, trust me

HARU: But thank you. I'm not sure when I'll be able to talk about this. But I'll let you know if I can.

FUTABA: i got you

FUTABA: whatever you got going on, it's got to be more interesting than my studying

FUTABA: and if dad couldn't figure it out, i totally want to know

FUTABA: you better tell me

More emoji followed that, pleading eyes mixed in with the mischievous smiles. Haru smiled back. There was something comforting about Futaba's brand of silliness.

HARU: I'll tell you if I can. Goodnight, Futaba

FUTABA: later, Haru

Haru put her phone away and sighed. This was going to feel like a very long ride home, and she doubted she'd have this settled in her head anytime soon. Of all the things to come from finally getting back together with her friends.

Chapter Text

A few days later, Makoto walked across the university campus, gym bag hanging from one shoulder, watching people as she went and considering just how quickly things could change.

Her time with the Phantom Thieves had changed things for her, that was certain; there was no way to know who she would be now if she hadn't joined them. Sometimes she thought they had changed everything for her – the way she saw herself, how she handled what life threw at her, and the way she wanted to approach her plans for the future. But it seemed that her friends weren't done changing how she saw the world.

And learning that Ann and Shiho were together only proved that was true.

She'd known about same-gender couples for a long time, so that was nothing new. She wasn't sure when she'd first learned that sometimes boys liked boys and girls liked girls, but she was grateful that it had been presented to her neutrally, without any kind of suggestion that it was bad. She'd also talked about some of the legal issues around same-gender relationships and marriage with Sae, as there had been several court cases over the past few years as people sought to secure equal rights.

But there was a difference between a simple fact or something in the news and having one of her friends come out. Seeing Ann so happy to be dating Shiho somehow made it more real, like the difference between seeing something on TV and having it happen right in front of her. And now, as she made her way toward one of the athletics buildings, she couldn't help wondering every time she saw two people together.

Those two men walking out of the engineering building, were they a couple, or just friends? There was an easy familiarity to the way they talked with each other. Ryuji had mentioned some of the men he knew at college liking guys, so it was certainly possible.

And the two women, laughing as they stood next to a vending machine, were they together? They were certainly standing close enough to be. Perhaps they knew what the other's favorite snack was, or something like that.

Makoto shook her head, sighing at herself. She wasn't quite sure why this was on her mind so much. Normally, she would have simply gone wherever she was going without thinking too much about the people around her, unless she was looking for someone or she saw a person who looked like they were some kind of threat. Her father had told her stories of keeping a close eye out for possible suspects when working his cases, so Makoto knew how important it could be to watch people carefully.

Though she might not be all that good at it. Memories of following Ren and Ryuji around Shibuya, trying to hide herself behind a magazine, came back unwanted. Not her finest moment.

But this wasn't the same thing, she thought. This felt like her entire perspective had changed, and she wasn't used to looking at people like this. She'd known enough people who were in relationships, but she'd never before found herself trying to figure out if random people were dating or not.

And she had no idea why it was still getting to her, days after Ann had told the group about herself and Shiho. Makoto never would have guessed something like this would stick in her mind so much, and she wasn't sure if it was about–

"Mako-chan?"

Makoto froze, then looked toward the familiar voice. Haru was coming out of a lecture hall right in her path, and she'd almost walked right into the other woman.

"Haru," Makoto said, then blinked a few times. "I'm sorry, I was lost in thought. How are you?"

"I'm doing all right," Haru said. "I was just talking to one of my professors, and I knew I had to be done in time to see the aikido club with you." She smiled. "I didn't think I'd run into you on the way, though."

Was Makoto imagining things, or was there something faintly strained about Haru's voice? Maybe she was just nervous about meeting a group of new people. "I'm glad you did," Makoto said. "The building's this way, if you're ready to head over."

Haru nodded, and fell into step beside Makoto as they headed across a plaza and toward the campus's athletics buildings. "I thought about wearing my old Shujin tracksuit," Haru mused as they walked. "But then I remembered I had to talk to my professor, and I didn't want to go in wearing that."

"I can imagine not," Makoto said, smiling. An old memory tickled at the back of her mind. She'd first met Haru – the first time outside of the Metaverse – near the entrance of Shujin campus, and the other woman had been wearing her tracksuit then. What was it Haru had said to her?

She couldn't remember.

"Makoto?" Haru asked, peering at her. "Are you all right? You looked confused for a moment."

"It's nothing," Makoto said, shaking her head. Whatever it was, it couldn't be that important, and if it was, she'd remember it later. "It's this building, come on."

They pushed open the double doors into the smaller of the athletics buildings, and walked into a wide hallway, with tall doors on either side. "The club's on the second floor," Makoto said. "They usually meet three times a week, though you don't have to go to every meeting. It's not too serious, and most people are just there to hang out and get some exercise."

"That sounds like it would work," Haru said, a contemplative look on her face. "I'm not sure if I could make it three times a week, but I could probably manage two."

They headed up the stairs and through the first doors on the left, into an open room with padding on the walls and mats spread out all across the floor. The familiar smell of sweat and the gym mats hit Makoto all at once, and she hoped it wouldn't put Haru off. She wouldn't quite say she liked the aroma, but there was something about it that spoke to her, that said this was a place to work out, to clear her head and get her body moving.

Next to her, Haru waved her hand in front of her face, grimacing. "It's like the locker rooms back at Shujin," she said, again sounding a little strained.

"You get used to it," Makoto said, trying not to chuckle.

Someone called out from across the room. "What's up, Queen!"

Makoto waved, and Haru turned to her, a shocked look on her face. "Everyone gets a nickname," Makoto said quickly. "They wanted to call me something like 'iron fist' and I told them no. When they said I still needed one, I told them to call me Queen."

Haru peered at her, eyes still wide. "And they agreed with that? I wouldn't think they would argue, but. . . ."

"Strangely enough, nobody questioned it." Makoto nodded to a tall man with his long hair in a ponytail as he walked up to her and Haru. "Kintaro," she said. "This is Haru, an old friend of mine."

"Nice to meet you," Haru said. Makoto wondered if her formal side always kicked in when meeting new people, or if that was just a habit from how she was brought up.

"Hey, good to meet you too." Kintaro grinned, and tugged at the collar of his battered white gi. "Name's Kintaro, and I'm one of the club's leaders. Lots of people here call me Golden." His grin turned into a grimace. "It was one of the older guys in the club a year back who gave me the name, said it was from some manga, but I have no idea."

"That's interesting," Haru said, and it still sounded like she was trying hard to be polite.

Time to step in, Makoto thought. "Haru's thinking about joining the club. Is it all right if she stays around and watches?"

"Yeah, that'd be great," Kintaro said, nodding. "You got any experience with this, Haru, done any martial arts, anything like that?"

Haru shook her head. "I've swung an axe a lot, but that's all," she said. When Kintaro's expression went slack, she waved her hands, smiling a little too frantically. "For chopping wood, that sort of thing. You know, camping?"

Kintaro looked at Makoto. "You've got interesting friends, Queen," he said, then laughed. "We're about to start warmups, so if you want to suit up, now's a good time. I'll catch you both later."

Makoto looked at Haru as Kintaro jogged off across the room. "I'll be right back, I just need to change," she said. "Any place you want to sit and watch should be fine."

"All right." Haru pressed her lips together. "I didn't scare your club leader, did I?"

"I'm not sure." Makoto considered for a moment. "I don't think anyone's ever told him they swung around an axe before." She smiled as Haru looked embarrassed. "It'll be fine. I'll be right back."

Makoto ducked out, changed into her gi in the bathroom across the hall, and hurried back into the gym room as the rest of the club lined up for warmup drills, with Kintaro standing at the front. She found a space in the lines, then glanced around, looking for Haru and seeing her standing against one of the walls.

She'd be fine, Makoto told herself; awkward introductions weren't really that big of a deal, and she was sure people had said stranger things when they first showed up at the club. Now was time to focus.

Makoto dropped into a basic stance as Kintaro called it out, and breathed in, slow and controlled. The movements were familiar, reassuring, and somehow calming, and she flowed from one to the next with ease, breathing in time with each step. The stress of her studies and keeping up with everything else never truly faded, but she felt it start to ease as she let herself just be in the moment, moving through something she knew she could do well.

During a pause in the warmups, Makoto glanced over at Haru, to make sure the other woman was doing all right. She could handle being in a room with strangers, Makoto chided herself. But all the same, she didn't want her friend to feel like she'd been abandoned.

Haru was looking right back at her.

Not at the whole club, not just watching the warmups. Looking at her. Their eyes met, and Haru smiled, a faint blush on her cheeks.

Makoto smiled back, then snapped into a new stance as Kintaro called it out. That was not what she'd thought would happen. She'd figured Haru would watch the way they did things at the club, the better to determine if she wanted to join. But Haru had been looking at her, very specifically her.

She supposed it was natural to want to keep an eye on a friend, even though it wasn't like Makoto was in any danger. It had been a long time since they'd been in a dangerous situation, but that happened all the time when they were the Phantom Thieves, so maybe it was an old instinct. Maybe Haru was just looking out for her.

Makoto made a distinct effort to stand up straighter, to punch harder, to call out louder as they moved into more advanced warmups. She might not have fought a shadow for quite a while. But she was still strong, still capable. Maybe showing Haru that would ease her mind, keep her from needing to make sure she was okay.

Haru must know that, shouldn't she? They'd spent so much time fighting together. No, Makoto thought. She didn't need to prove her strength to Haru. So why was she throwing herself harder into the warmup when she knew Haru was watching?

During another pause, Makoto glanced over. Haru was still watching her. Just her. She looked . . . maybe not happy, but calm. Like she was okay with what was happening, like she liked what she saw.

The memory came back all at once, slamming into Makoto's thoughts with all the weight of a hit she hadn't seen coming.

"You looked really good in that biker gang outfit!"

That was what Haru had said to her, years ago, when they'd met for the first time outside the Metaverse. Makoto's mind flicked back to what she'd been thinking about before she ran into Haru, about wondering if people were couples or not.

If someone said that to her now, what would she think they meant?

If someone saw her and Haru walking together, would they think the two of them were a couple?

Makoto froze, then fought to regain her balance as she stepped into the last part of the warmups. That was . . . out of nowhere, she thought, but now that she remembered it, her mind insisted on replaying the moment over and over. She remembered her own embarrassment, as she'd never been the biggest fan of her Phantom Thieves outfit, but she also remembered the look on Haru's face.

The smile she wore then . . . it wasn't far off from the one she was wearing now.

Kintaro yelled for them to stand, face him, and bow, and the warmup was complete. Makoto rose from her bow, and before she could think about what to do next, Kintaro called for them to form pairs for basic sparring. She turned to the closest person, a man a year behind her in college and new to the club, and nodded as he greeted her.

Now was not the time to think about any of this.

Makoto fell into her stance, and did her best to take it easy on her new opponent, as she knew he didn't have her experience. But her focus was gone, and by the time Kintaro called for an end to the sparring, she'd let at least two of his strikes get past her guard.

That was sloppy, she told herself. She couldn't afford to let herself get distracted like that. But she took one last look at Haru over her shoulder, smiled as Haru clapped for her, then turned back to the club.

She was here to work out. Everything else could wait.

Once the club's time was over, Makoto wiped sweat from her forehead and cheeks, then walked over to Haru, trying not to stand too close. Nobody was at their best after a workout, and now was not the time for . . . anything she'd been thinking about.

"So," she said as she walked up, "what do you think?"

"I think I would like this." There was some of the familiar intensity on Haru's face, something Makoto hadn't seen since the other woman had an axe in her hands. "I'd like to join."

Makoto smiled, then wiped at her face again. "That's great. Let Kintaro know, I've got to go clean up, but then we can head back to the dorm."

She ducked into the bathroom with her workout bag, cleaned up as best she could in the sink, then changed into a simple sweatsuit. It wasn't what she'd normally like to wear when out and about, but the showers in the building weren't cleaned as often as they should have been, and it'd be fine for the trip home. When she stepped out, Haru was waiting outside the gym room, and walked up to her. "All set?" Makoto asked.

"I'll be here for the next meeting." Haru smiled. "Shall we go?"

They caught the train back to the dorm, and Makoto did her best not to lean against the pole as she held onto it. The trip home after aikido club always felt way too long, especially after a long day on campus. It would be nice if there was a better way to get home after aikido club, but she really had no other choice, since owning a car was out of the question.

As they headed out of the train station, Haru spoke up for the first time since they'd left campus, her voice a little shaky. "Mako-chan . . . do you want to go get a coffee? There's a good place nearby, and I was wondering. . . ."

Makoto shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I have to pass for now. I really need to go get a shower, after all that sparring."

"Oh, that's all right, I should have thought of that," Haru said. Was that a hint of sadness in her eyes? She turned away too quickly for Makoto to be sure.

When they reached their dorm, they said their goodbyes and separated, as their rooms were on opposite sides of the building. Makoto hurried to her room, stepped inside, and dropped her gym bag to the floor, then grabbed a towel and some comfortable clothes and stopped all at once as something occurred to her.

Haru had asked if she'd wanted to get coffee. That was nothing unusual; they all knew about Haru's love for coffee. It was probably second only to Ren's. But Haru had sounded unusually nervous when she asked.

Makoto thought back to what she'd considered earlier, and her eyes opened wide as she put it all together.

If people saw her and Haru together, would they think they were a couple?

Had Haru been trying to hint at something by asking her to coffee?

Or was Haru trying to ask her on a date?

Chapter Text

Haru returned to her dorm room, closed the door and leaned against it, then slid down to the floor. She heaved a sigh. None of that had gone as she'd hoped.

She'd wanted to see what the aikido club was like, that was true; she'd been curious ever since Makoto had mentioned it. It would be good to get some exercise again, and it did seem like she could relieve some of her stress there. It wasn't hitting shadows with an axe, but it would do, and the people seemed nice. She idly wondered what her nickname would end up being.

Some small part of her mind insisted that she wouldn't mind having an excuse to call Makoto "Queen" again, and she put her face in her hands. How had she called the other girl that, for so long, and never thought anything about it?

Just one more thing that made this difficult to deal with, Haru thought. She had some kind of feelings for Makoto, there was no denying that. Seeing her again so soon, and spending most of her time at aikido club watching her instead of seeing what the club was actually doing, made her very sure. Thinking back, there was something about seeing Makoto there, watching her go through the exercises, breathing hard . . . even watching her throw someone else to the ground had been. . . .

Haru's heart beat faster at the memories. She didn't quite have words for how watching that made her feel. But she could probably think of a few if she replayed it in her head a few dozen more times.

She shook her head. That wasn't what she needed to do. What she needed to do was figure out what to do about all these things she was feeling.

Haru rested her head against the door, and tried very hard not to let an old sadness take hold. This wasn't the first time she'd had to deal with this; she knew she fell for people too quickly. It had happened with Ren, years ago, and it had broken her heart when he didn't return her feelings. She'd gotten over it in time, and college had given her so many new things to focus on, which had helped a great deal. Thankfully, it hadn't bothered her when they'd all spent weeks on the road together a year later.

But this was different. She and Makoto would be at their university together for a few more years yet. And if she was going to join the aikido club, Haru knew she couldn't avoid Makoto there – that would just be strange, especially since Makoto had invited her in the first place.

So what was she supposed to do about how she felt? She didn't even know if Makoto liked girls, now that she thought about it. Haru had never even seen any sign that Makoto liked anyone, nor heard her talk about it. Somehow, the Phantom Thieves had never spent much time talking about who had a crush on who or anything like that, as many groups their age seemed to do. Or maybe that was just what Haru thought they would be like. It wasn't like she'd had many friends growing up to do those sorts of things, and. . . .

She let her thoughts trail off, and sighed again. She was going in circles. There had been times in the past where she'd been fine to just sit and dwell on things and not find any answers in her own head, but she knew it didn't really do her any good. For something like this, it was best to talk to someone.

And she had promised that she would.

Haru pulled out her phone, tapped the chat application, then made very sure to select a conversation that was only with one person. This was not something she wanted to send to any group chat, especially the Phantom Thieves one. That would be a complete disaster.

HARU: Hello Futaba, are you busy?

Haru lowered her phone and looked out the window. It was evening, not too late yet. Futaba might be busy, she knew, but she'd told the girl that she would talk when she was ready. So now, she only had to wait, and hope that–

FUTABA: hey!

FUTABA: it's been like three days, didn't think i'd hear from you this quick

FUTABA: how goes it?

Haru smiled, more than a little relief flowing through her. Maybe this was going to turn out to be okay after all.

HARU: I'm doing all right, thank you. How have you been?

FUTABA: still cramming for exams. this sucks sooooooo much

FUTABA: it's like I'm trying to fit everything I've ever known into my head at once and it all has to stay there long enough for me to spit it back out on a test and if I get one thing wrong it's game over at everything forever

FUTABA: was it this bad for you?

Haru took deep breath as the memories came back, and frowned. She hadn't enjoyed preparing for her college entrance exams, but she'd also spent a lot of time studying with Makoto, which had helped her a great deal.

It was . . . probably for the best she hadn't been aware of her feelings for Makoto back then, wasn't it.

HARU: I had a hard time with some of it, but it turned out all right in the end. All the studying was worth it. What university are you trying to get into?

FUTABA: one of the big important ones

FUTABA: got to prove I've got the biggest brain out there, you get me?

FUTABA: and I want to make Sojiro proud but don't tell him I said that

Despite everything, Haru giggled at that, and smiled at her phone. That sounded just like Futaba.

FUTABA: but I know you didn't text me to hear me whine about studying

FUTABA: you ready to talk about the stuff that bugged you earlier?

Another line of emoji followed, a mixed set of devious smiles and what seemed to be hugs and other things Haru wasn't quite sure how to figure out. But there were hearts and flowers in there, so she figured Futaba was trying to show her support.

HARU: I think I am, yes.

A second later, Haru's phone rang, and she nearly dropped it in surprise. She'd thought they'd talk this out through text, and she never would have guessed Futaba would call her. But she held up the phone and tried to smile, as she'd been told that would come through in her voice.

"Hello, Futaba. How are you?"

"You just asked me that," Futaba said, and giggled. "But I'm good. You?"

"I'm . . . not sure how I'm doing." Haru leaned her head against her door again. "Thank you for calling me, though. It might be easier to talk about it this way."

"Yeah, it's like that for some people," Futaba said. "Plus this seems like heavy stuff, so I figured you didn't want to have it spelled out on your phone in case someone steals it or hacks into it."

Haru blinked. She hadn't even considered that. But it did make her think of something else Futaba had told her. "You're not recording this, are you?"

"Nope," Futaba said. "Wouldn't do that to a friend, not unless I asked first. Maybe if I needed to mess with someone. But this isn't one of those things." She paused, like she was waiting for Haru to respond, then said, "So, what's going on under all that floof?"

Haru decided to let that one go. "I . . . I'm not entirely sure how to start," she said. "I think I'm . . . coming around to seeing something about myself differently, and I'm wondering how long I've been that way, and if it's been longer than I thought and I just couldn't see it, or wouldn't see it."

She paused. That was mostly the same things she'd told Sojiro, so maybe she should tell Futaba a little more. Haru wrapped both hands around her phone, then managed to say, "And it's been happening since a friend . . . went through something similar, and I can't stop thinking about it."

There was a silent moment, and Haru pressed her lips together. Was Futaba going to make her say it outright? She'd barely even been able to admit it to herself, and she knew she was talking around it, but surely Futaba could understand. Couldn't she? Haru knew Futaba still sometimes had difficulty being around people, but she'd never seemed to be bad at figuring people out, so. . . .

"Ooooooh," Futaba said, drawing the word out, her voice rising the whole way. For a moment, Haru hoped the other girl wasn't teasing her. "I think I'm picking up what you're putting down. This, umm . . . this happened after Ann told you about her and Shiho, didn't it."

Haru winced just a bit. Futaba had not only connected the dots but seen much more of the picture than Haru had expected, which was kind of troubling. Yes, she'd worried about being too vague, but maybe she hadn't been vague enough. "You knew about Ann?" Haru asked, maybe delaying saying more about herself not completely on purpose.

"Yeah, Ann and I talk all the time." Futaba made some kind of happy noise, and Haru smiled. "When she was out doing the modeling thing all over the world, she and I talked a bunch, because she was always in a different time zone and my sleep schedule's kind of broken. And I'd told her about friends online who were dealing with stuff like this, so she knew she was good to come out to me."

"Oh, you know others," Haru said. "I – I knew some people were like this, of course, but Ann was the first one I actually knew. And hearing her talk about Shiho like that, it . . . it made me think. About things I hadn't thought about. Before."

Haru lowered her head. Why was this so difficult to get out? It felt like she was talking about something wrong or scary, and it – it wasn't wrong, and she didn't want to be scared of it. But it was just so different from what she'd thought herself to be. And she didn't know how to deal with that.

"Yeah, I've seen that with a bunch of people," Futaba said. Somehow, she sounded completely at ease with all of this, and Haru wondered just how much she'd talked about it with Ann and whomever else. "It's not like someone just wakes up one day and is like, wow, my sexuality has changed, what a weird thing to happen!" She laughed, and Haru shook her head but couldn't keep from smiling. "Most of the time, they meet someone and they're like, whoa, where are these new feelings coming from because I didn't think I could get them from you."

"That . . . that makes a lot of sense," Haru said, not much more than a whisper.

And sometimes those feelings got ignored for years, but Haru couldn't bring herself to say that. It wasn't so much that she'd ignored her feelings for Makoto as she'd just kind of not even realized they were there, until they actually weren't, until something brought them all back at once.

"So, you going to tell me who unlocked your closet?"

Haru let out a yelp before she could stop herself, and nearly dropped her phone. She fumbled with it, and heard Futaba laughing. "That's – that's not a very kind thing to ask," she managed, falling back on politeness when the rest of her mind scrambled to come up with anything else to say.

"Oh, c'mon, I wouldn't actually do that," Futaba said. "Look, like I said, this isn't my first time dealing with this. The best thing you can do is be honest with yourself about how you're feeling, and take it at your own pace. Don't rush it, don't push it, don't tell anyone you're not comfortable or don't feel safe with. But don't act like it's not there. That just gets you hurt." Futaba paused. "And don't try to sleep with her right away, you'll just wake up confused in a weird place."

Haru opened her mouth to say something and found herself incapable of processing all of that at once. Of all the things to say. And she never would have expected to hear that last one come out of Futaba's mouth.

"I . . . I suppose that is good advice," she said after a moment. Some part of her mind tried to wonder how Futaba had learned about the last bit of advice and she promptly told it to sit down and be quiet.

"Hey, Haru," Futaba said, more quietly than usual. "I get that this is heavy stuff, and I'm joking around because I know it's hard. I've seen a lot of people deal with it and mess things up one way or another. And I know I'm not much good at giving advice. I just don't want you to get hurt, you know?"

"I know," Haru said. She held her phone in both hands again, wishing she could give Futaba a hug. She needed one herself right about now. "And I think you've given good advice, Futaba. Thank you."

The younger girl let out a cackle. "Never thought I'd hear that. Achievement unlocked! I usually go to Ann for advice, she's a lot better at it than I am because she actually gets people and knows how to talk to them."

"You might be selling yourself short on that," Haru said, and managed to smile. "I think you've helped me, at least a little."

"Yeah, but you're a friend. I wouldn't do this for just anyone. Most of the time with other people I just sort of hang around and make stupid jokes or wait until someone says something interesting so I actually have something to talk about." She paused. "High school kind of sucks, doesn't it."

"It can." Haru sighed. "But thank you, Futaba. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do about any of this. If anything."

"Wait, you might not do anything?" Futaba sounded stunned, and Haru was suddenly glad they weren't doing a video chat, else she might have been treated to an extreme close-up of the girl's face.

"There's still a lot to figure out," Haru said slowly. "This is new to me. I need to understand how I feel about all this. And I don't know if – if she even likes other girls."

"Only one way to find out," Futaba said, and let out another devious giggle. "Or maybe two or three ways, but I'm pretty sure just grabbing someone and kissing them is actually a bad idea and anime is lying to me."

Haru paused, trying and failing to not picture doing that to Makoto. Her heart felt like it was going to burst through her ribs. "Yes," she said, fighting to keep her voice steady as her face burned hot, "yes, that would be a bad idea."

"But let me know if you try it, yeah? I want it to work for somebody."

Haru shook her head again, and couldn't help laughing. Futaba had definitely grown up some, of course she had, but it seemed what Yusuke had once called her 'gremlin spirit' would never change.

"I will tell you," Haru said, "if anything happens. As long as I can tell you. So I hope I'll have good news for you someday."

"Yeah, I hope so too. I remember that asshole you were engaged to, and I'm glad you got rid of him, but you know, you're my friend and I want you to be happy." Futaba paused. "If that doesn't sound too cheesy."

"Not at all," Haru said, smiling a little and doing her best to sound grateful. "Thank you again, Futaba. I need to go, though, I need to get something to eat."

"Yeah, I should do that too probably," Futaba said. "But keep me posted! Especially if you can give me a name."

Haru promised that she would, and ended the call, then looked out the window to the evening sky. What Futaba said was true, but it wasn't going to be as easy as it sounded.

She could be honest with herself. Something had changed, and she could get used to this new part of herself. Even if it took a while. But she couldn't be sure about how things would go from here. She wanted to know how Makoto felt, or if Makoto even liked girls, but how was she supposed to find out?

So much had changed in only a few days, and she had no idea how to truly deal with it.

Chapter Text

Makoto strolled into the diner at Shibuya. It had been about two weeks since they'd last all met here, and somehow, that seemed like a long time. Maybe she was already getting used to seeing everyone regularly again. That would definitely be a good thing; while she generally enjoyed being at the university and wouldn't say her life there was bad, there was nothing quite like the bond she shared with the rest of the Phantom Thieves.

Then she saw that only Ryuji was at the table when she approached, and wondered if this might be a much smaller meeting than before.

"Hey, Makoto," Ryuji said, waving as she walked up. "How goes it?"

"Hello, Ryuji," Makoto said. "Has anyone else arrived yet, or is it just us so far?"

"Just us." Ryuji paused, looking like he was about to say something else, then jumped and reached for his pocket. Makoto felt her phone vibrate at the same moment, and knew what that meant. The two of them both pulled out their phones, and she saw a message in the group text from Yusuke.

YUSUKE: Heart and mind, at odds
An artist's work, a challenge
Occupies my day.

"He . . . wrote us a haiku," Makoto mused. "I think he's saying he can't join us?"

"Yeah, last time we talked he said someone was teaching him poetry," Ryuji said. "Is that a good one? I don't remember reading much of this stuff."

"It's not bad," Makoto said with a nod. She slid into the booth across from Ryuji. "Haru told me yesterday that she won't be able to make it, she has a board meeting. But Ann hasn't said anything about missing this, so hopefully she'll be here."

"Yeah, she's gonna be here." Ryuji put his phone away and grinned. "You remember how she was, all about figuring out when we could meet next. And y'know, I've been missing this. All of us, together again?"

"I did too." Makoto smiled. Just as she'd been thinking about, there really was something special about this group. Even if not all of them were around–

"Hey, everyone!"

Makoto turned to see Ann striding toward them, a brilliant smile on her face. She looked so happy, and Makoto wondered for a moment how much of that was because she was back with friends and how much of it was because she went home to Shiho every day. That had to make things better, didn't it? Makoto wasn't sure how she'd handle something like that, but she could see how the idea was appealing.

Was that something she wanted? It wasn't something she'd thought about much before, and unfortunately she didn't have the time to consider it right now.

"Look who I pulled away from her studies," Ann added, and gently shoved Futaba out from behind her. The younger woman looked kind of nervous, but waved at them all, and Makoto wondered if she still had trouble sometimes with being around a lot of people, even after all these years.

"Is this everyone who's showing up?" Ann asked.

"It looks that way," Makoto said. "Yusuke just texted us-"

"A haiku," Ryuji interrupted.

"–to say he won't be here," Makoto went on, "and Haru has a board meeting."

"Still waiting to see if my girlfriend's gonna be able to show up," Ryuji said, his voice almost too casual.

The table went silent. Makoto blinked at him; she knew she hadn't misheard him but still found it very hard to believe. Futaba just stared at him, mouth open.

Ann recovered faster than the rest of them, and asked, "You have a girlfriend?" She slid into the booth across from Ryuji, making Makoto move over. "Spill," she said, staring directly at him, as Futaba sat down next to her.

Ryuji laughed, loud and with a huge grin, like he had back in high school when there was something to celebrate. "I didn't think you'd believe me," he said, then rubbed at the back of his head. "Kind of glad I was wrong about that."

"It does kind of feel like what happens when the world's ending," Futaba said. "Is this a sign of the end times? Did the moon turn red?"

"Yeah, there you go." Ryuji rolled his eyes, but he still grinned. "No, I'm serious. This was a couple weeks ago, maybe a day or two after we were here last. I went to a girls' basketball game with the rest of the track team – we go and support other teams if we don't have our own stuff going on, it's something all the school's teams do."

"That is nice," Ann said. "Now tell us about the girl!"

Ryuji laughed again. "So we were all hanging out after the game, the track team and the basketball team, just listening to music and shooting the shit and all that. But I started talking with one of the girls, and it was like, we had the exact same vibe. We were making the same kind of jokes, we knew all the same shows and music, and it was just – you ever talk to someone for like five minutes, and it feels like you've known them forever?"

Makoto shook her head. "I've heard of that, but it's never happened to me." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ann nod. Was Ann agreeing with her, or had she felt like that when she met Shiho?

"That sounds scary as heck," Futaba said, her eyes wide behind her glasses. "I'd think they were reading my mind or something."

Ryuji paused, a curious look on his face. Then he shook his head. "Nah, if she'd read my mind, she would have asked about something I don't want to talk about here, so I don't think she can do that. Anyway, when things started dying down, this girl, she said she wanted to go try this new ramen shop, over in Kichijoji. The place has only been around for a few months, and she'd heard it was really good, so she wanted to go."

"That definitely sounds like your type," Ann said. It sounded like she approved. That was a good thing for Ryuji – if Ann didn't like his girlfriend, Makoto was sure she wouldn't have any trouble saying so.

"I know, right?" Ryuji grinned again, his expression brightening. "And I was good to go, because there's no way I was gonna miss out on trying a new ramen place. I dunno why, but nobody else wanted to go. So the two of us went and checked it out, it's good stuff, you should totally go there."

He paused, and something about his smile changed, something Makoto didn't have words for. Makoto leaned in a little before she realized she was doing it. Or maybe she was just mirroring Ann, who had leaned in quite a bit more, like she sensed something good was coming up.

"So we finished up and headed out, and we were talking about if we wanted to do something else, because it wasn't too late and we were already in Kichijoji. And she said to me, this kind of feels like a date."

Ann giggled. "Ooh, she got you."

Ryuji nodded, his eyes wide. "And I just knew I had to take my shot, so I said, do you want it to be?"

Makoto narrowed her eyes, peering at him. "That's much smoother than I'd expect from you." It seemed almost unreal that it had been so easy for him. She'd heard about him fumbling at trying to pick up girls before.

He held up his hands, and shook his head. "I'm not smooth, I know that! It just seemed like the right thing to say, and it worked!"

"She said yes?" Ann said, utter glee in her voice.

"Yeah, she did!" Ryuji looked like he'd never stop smiling. "I told her, there's this darts place I used to go with my friends all the time, and she was into it, so we headed there." He laughed again, and knocked his knuckles on the table. "We've been going out when we can for the past couple weeks now. It's . . . it's real good, I still kind of can't believe it."

Silence hung over the table for a moment. There was something really nice about seeing him happy like this, Makoto thought. But now that made two of her friends who were dating other people, when they'd all gone through high school with every single one of them staying single. Was this how it was going to be in the coming years, everyone meeting someone and pairing up?

It came to her again – was that something she wanted for herself? And if she did, who?

"It just seems weird that you've got a girlfriend," Futaba said. "I kind of thought you were doomed to die old and lonely."

Ryuji's face fell. "Gee, thanks, Futaba. . . ."

"I think it's amazing," Ann said. She seemed almost as . . . emotionally enthusiastic as she'd been after she told them all about her relationship with Shiho. "What's her name? And when do we get to meet her?"

"Her name's Tsuruko," Ryuji said, "and-" He froze as his phone buzzed, and he glanced at it, then sighed as his whole body seemed to deflate at once. "And she can't make it today. Damn it."

"Oh, that's too bad," Ann said, and it sounded genuine. It seemed that she really did want to meet this new person in Ryuji's life. "Do you have a picture of her?"

"Yeah, one sec." Ryuji started thumbing through something on his phone, then flipped it around to show the rest of them. "Here she is."

The woman in Ryuji's photo was absolutely an athlete, tanned and slender and fit, with long black hair tied back in a loose ponytail and blunt-cut bangs just above her eyebrows. She was standing next to Ryuji at what looked like a basketball game, clad in her uniform that left her arms and shoulders bare. Both of them were grinning widely at the camera and holding up two fingers in a V-sign.

They really did look happy, Makoto thought. A twinge of what she hoped wasn't jealousy twisted somewhere inside of her, and she squashed it as quickly as she could.

"Whoa, she's taller than you," Futaba breathed. It was true – just from the picture, Makoto guessed Tsuruko was even taller than Ren, maybe Yusuke's height.

"Those cheekbones – has she ever modeled?" Ann asked.

"Dunno, she's never told me if she has," Ryuji said. "And of course she's tall, she's on the basketball team," he added, looking at Futaba.

Makoto leaned back and took it all in as the others talked, putting a hand to her chin as she thought. It had never bothered her before that she hadn't dated anyone; she'd had enough going on in high school for it to hardly be a concern. But now, having it happen for several of her friends . . . it seemed like something had changed among all of them. Maybe she was imagining it. Or maybe she was just thinking too hard.

But somehow, it was sticking in her mind, and all through their meal and conversation, it refused to go away. She knew dating someone wouldn't suddenly make her happy – life didn't work like that. But being that happy to be with someone?

She couldn't deny that it sounded really nice.

Haru returned to her dorm room after spending far, far too much of her day in the corporate world. She let out a long sigh, and took off the fancier coat she'd taken to wearing to meetings in an effort to look more professional. Despite technically being head of the company, she knew many people on the Okumura Foods board still thought she was too young to be there, so she did what she could to show them otherwise.

But all the same, it was good to get home, to a place that was only hers, and feel like she could be her actual age again. The dorm room was small, but there was a genuine comfort to having a place that was only hers, that had only ever been hers.

She took off her shoes and put on some comfortable clothes, and was about to figure out what to do for dinner, when her phone rang. She glanced at it, and her heart gave a single hard pound.

Makoto was calling her.

Haru answered as quickly as she could. "Hello, Makoto," she said, fighting to keep her voice from shaking. "How are you?"

"Hello, Haru," Makoto said.

"I'm sorry I missed lunch with everyone today," Haru said, leaning against her dorm room's desk, and staring out the window at the city lights. "I couldn't get away from the board meeting." She paused. "I feel like such an old lady, saying something like that."

"You're fine," Makoto said, and from the tone of her voice, Haru could tell she was smiling. "You're younger than me, remember?"

Haru held her phone closer, wishing she could see Makoto's face right now. True, she could try a video chat, but the last time she'd tried that she'd hung up on the person three times trying to get it going, and she didn't want to risk that right now. Just hearing Makoto's voice was fine. And if she started blushing again . . . maybe Makoto didn't need to see that.

Or maybe Haru wanted her to. Maybe Makoto would ask why, and . . . no, that wasn't a good idea.

"And I understand," Makoto continued. "I've spent enough time with Sae to know that being grown up sometimes means spending all day talking with people even if you don't want to."

Haru sighed, shoving away her thoughts from a moment ago. "It really does."

"But I wanted to fill you in on what you missed today," Makoto said, then paused. "Ryuji told us he has a girlfriend."

"Oh! That's a surprise," Haru said, then winced a little, hoping that hadn't been too mean. "I mean . . . I guess he's grown up some over the past few years."

"He said she's a lot like him, so how much he's grown is up for debate," Makoto said, though it still sounded like she was smiling.

"But that's good to hear, I'm happy for him," Haru said, then the next few words slipped out before she could stop them. "It seems like a lot of our friends are dating someone now."

It was a moment before Makoto replied. "I noticed that," she said. It . . . it didn't sound like she was smiling anymore.

"I . . . can't help but wonder if you're going to be next," Haru said, then put a hand over her face. That was a terribly leading thing to say, wasn't it.

But maybe it wasn't a bad thing to say. She did want to know how Makoto felt about . . . well, about all of this. And at least they had reason to be talking about relationships, if Ryuji was in one now. It wasn't like Haru could simply ask if Makoto liked girls or something like that, could she? Maybe she could . . . find a way to make it come up naturally.

Makoto laughed, just barely, then said, "Now saying that, that's what makes you sound like an old lady."

"Someone once told me only an old lady would wear sweaters like mine," Haru said, sighing at the memory.

"That person was wrong," Makoto said. "But . . . I don't expect to date anyone anytime soon."

Haru's heart sank, and she stepped away from her desk, pacing around the small room to keep herself from sinking down to the floor like she had before. That was not what she'd expected to hear. She'd never known Makoto to be a romantic, but surely she hadn't just given up already?

"It's not like I have any prospects in my classes, I mean," Makoto continued. "Most of the people in my law classes want to become lawyers, and so many of them are very focused and very serious, so much that they remind me of my sister. And the ones who aren't, well, they seem like the type who'd turn out to be the wrong kind of lawyers."

That was . . . not where Haru had thought this would go. "I see," she said, more to keep the conversation going than anything else.

"And the people who're going into law enforcement, like me, they're all stern and hard-nosed men who remind me too much of my father." Makoto paused, and Haru could almost see the other girl shaking her head. "I'm not sure if I have a type, but it's definitely not that."

Some part of Haru rejoiced, a tiny burst of hope. She was neither stern nor hard-nosed, so that meant she had a chance. Haru bit back another sigh and told that part of her to be quiet, that wasn't what Makoto meant.

"That's mostly where I see people these days," Makoto said, "and I'm not meeting anyone there I'd like to date. So I'm not getting my hopes up."

Don't say it, Haru told herself. Don't say it. "But that's not the only place you go," she said. "What about someone at aikido club?"

She'd said it. Haru squeezed her eyes shut and hoped Makoto didn't think she was hinting at something. What if she realized it? What if she told Haru that wasn't going to happen?

Or what if she said it could happen?

There was silence for a long moment, long enough for Haru to wonder if Makoto had disconnected, or if something else had happened, or if she truly had said the wrong thing and Makoto was upset with her now. But when Makoto spoke again, her voice sounded different – a curious, almost dreamy tone that Haru had never heard from her.

"That's . . . an interesting question," Makoto said, quieter than before. "I don't know if there's anyone at aikido club who'd be my type, but anything's possible, I suppose."

Haru's heart started beating faster than it had in a long, long time. She held her phone in both hands and dared to hope.

"There were two people there, last year, who started dating, and last I heard they were going to get married," Makoto continued. "I know I'm not really the sentimental type, but there was something so sweet about the way they treated each other. They said they felt like they were just plain right for each other, like they just knew."

Haru bit at her lip to keep from making a noise. What Makoto was saying sounded wonderful. And she wouldn't have thought the other girl would ever say something like that, would ever talk about two people in love like that.

Was Makoto hinting at something? Could she be? Or was Haru just reading into it, hoping so hard she saw something that wasn't there?

"It must be nice," Haru said quietly when the silence had stretched on too long, "to find someone like that. To know someone is right for you."

"It must be," Makoto said, her voice still low.

And that was just too much. Haru knew that if she kept talking, she was going to blurt out something she didn't want to say. Everything she was feeling was just . . . too raw to deal with right now. And – and there was still no way to know what Makoto felt, about girls or about her specifically or anything else, really. Now was not the time to ask. She just couldn't handle it right now, no matter what Makoto's answer was.

"I'm sorry, but I should go," Haru managed, fighting to keep her voice steady. "I'm tired and I need to figure out what I'm doing for food." She cleared her throat, trying to sound normal. "But thank you for calling me, it was good to hear your – to hear about all this," she managed to get out.

"You too," Makoto said. "Will you be at aikido club tomorrow?"

"I will," Haru said. "Goodnight, Mako-chan."

"Goodnight."

Haru set her phone down and finally slumped to the floor, breathing hard. She held her hands together and pressed them to her chest, then let out a sigh and looked out the window again, in case there were somehow some answers in the city's lights.

How was she supposed to handle this? It had barely been more than two weeks since she first started realizing what she felt, and it had only gotten harder to deal with since then. It seemed that falling too quickly and too hard was just how her heart worked, and that . . . it wasn't bad, but what was she supposed to do about this now?

She didn't want to get hurt again, not like before. And she knew Makoto would be kind if the answer was no. But Ren had been kind too. That hadn't made it hurt any less.

If only she had some way to know – some hint that Makoto was interested in girls, or even just her, that would make everything easier. But just asking seemed like . . . she didn't know if she could do that. And if she started asking her friends if Makoto had said anything about it, that would only lead to a lot of questions she wasn't ready to answer.

It was fine that Futaba knew, because she could keep a secret. But if Haru told Ann – Ann would be supportive, of course she would, but she'd want to make things happen. Ann would try to set them up on a surprise date or something, and Haru knew that would only end in disaster.

Haru sighed again, then picked herself up off the floor. She'd been through this before, she could find her way through it again. There was reason to hope it could end differently this time, but how was she supposed to make that happen when there was so much she couldn't figure out?

Chapter Text

Makoto looked at Ryuji as she slid into a booth at the diner in Shibuya, settling down next to Ann. "Do you think we're coming here too much?" she asked.

Ryuji gave her a confused look, like he'd never even thought that could be a problem. "I dunno," he said. "Shibuya's pretty much central for all of us, yeah? And it's a good place to meet if we want to go do something after we eat."

Ann nodded, then pulled a spoon full of ice cream and strawberries out of her parfait. "And I really like this place," she said.

Makoto smiled. She'd heard about people becoming creatures of habit, even more so as they got older, and some part of her wanted to rebel against that; getting stuck doing the same things over and over when she was only nineteen seemed strange somehow. But if this was the best place for them all to meet, she supposed she couldn't find any real problems with it.

"So, just us and Haru today, yeah?" Ryuji asked. He glanced back the way Makoto had come in, toward the diner's entrance. "Kind of figured she'd be here by now, or you two would have showed up together."

Something about what he said made Makoto wonder if he meant 'together' in a different way than expected, but she brushed it aside. Ryuji was a lot of things, but he wasn't at all subtle; he said what he meant, and didn't talk sideways about things. So if there was ever anyone who wasn't hinting at anything, it'd be him.

Though it did make her wonder again if people would see her and Haru together and think them as a couple. She felt her mind start wandering in that direction, and swiftly pulled it back in; now was not the time to consider that.

Would there ever be a good time for that, she thought.

"Unfortunately, we still don't get to spend much time together," Makoto said, glancing down at the table. "Our classes are on different parts of campus, and when we're off campus, we're on different sides of the dorm. But she's still coming to aikido club, so I'm glad for that." She paused, considering, then looked at Ryuji. "Will Tsuruko be joining us today?"

A glum look took over Ryuji's entire face. "I keep asking," he said. "But she's got a thing going on with the other girls on the team today, so that was a nope. Hopefully she'll be here next time." His expression changed all at once as he grinned. "She really wants to meet all of you. I told her my friends were, like, a model and the student council president and an artist and a genius hacker and a company heir and she just laughed at me."

Ann laughed aloud, putting a hand to her mouth. "That is so you," she said. "Do you really tell people about us like that?"

"Not really," Ryuji said, shrugging. "Most of the time, it's just, these are my friends from high school, here's us at the beach, here's us at this cool old coffee joint, here's us and this van we drove all across the country, stuff like that. But when I was telling her who you all were, then she was like, no way you got to hang out with all those people."

"She'll believe it when she meets us," Makoto said, and she felt herself forming the smile she'd learned from Sae, the one her sister said she used to terrify witnesses.

Ryuji blinked at her. "It sounds really creepy when you say it like that." Makoto kept smiling at him, and he held up his hands, guarding his face. "Don't do that!"

"I'm sorry I'm late," Haru said as she hurried up to the table, then slid into the booth next to Ryuji. "I missed my train, I was on a work call, and I had to take the next one." She looked around the table, and smiled, though it seemed a little strained. She must be under a lot of stress, Makoto thought. "Is anyone else coming, or is it just the four of us again?"

"Shiho should be here soon," Ann said. She ate another bite of her parfait, and Makoto wondered if it was to hide her sudden blush. "She's been working for an elementary school doing some sports stuff, but she gets off in time to be here."

"Good," Makoto said, nodding. "I never got a chance to meet her before – before everything happened." She looked down at the table again, and tried hard not to think about what she hadn't said.

Everything that had happened with Shiho . . . it still weighed on her sometimes. She should have been able to do something about it, as student council president. But so many of the faculty were behind Kamoshida no matter what he did. There was no way to know if she actually could have helped, or even prevented things from getting that bad.

But she could have tried.

"Hey, how's the aikido club going?" Ryuji asked, turning to Haru and talking louder than he probably needed to. "You learn to beat anyone up yet?"

"Ryuji," Makoto said, raising her head and narrowing her eyes at him.

"It's fun, but it's not like that," Haru said, waving her hand in front of her face. "I've only been going for a few weeks, so I'm still learning. It's been nothing but the basics so far. But I think Kintaro said he wanted me to start learning throws next time," she added, and looked at Makoto. "Does that sound about right?"

"After a few weeks of learning, yes," Makoto said. She'd watched some of Haru's training in the club, when she wasn't busy with her own, and it had been interesting. There was definitely still some of the same spirit that had hacked down shadows with an axe in Haru, even after so long outside of the Metaverse. Makoto had heard a few people at the club quietly say that Haru was scary, which was kind of funny for anyone who hadn't seen that side of her.

"I just think it's cool you're there," Ryuji said, grinning again. "I remember how you were against the shadows, that was some scary shit."

Makoto almost chided him, but she'd been thinking about the same thing, hadn't she?

Haru ducked her head, and folded her hands on the table in front of her, looking down at them. "I'm not trying to be like that," she said, her voice low. "And it's not the same thing. It's just for exercise, and stress relief, things like that." She looked up, and smiled at Makoto, a faint blush on her cheeks. "But I'm glad Mako-chan invited me, it's been a lot of fun."

Why . . . why was Haru blushing?

Makoto thought back to after they'd left the aikido club for the first time, when Haru had asked if she'd wanted to get coffee afterward. It hadn't seemed strange at the time – friends getting coffee, nothing unusual – but only after she'd taken the time to think about it had Makoto wondered if Haru meant anything different by it, and come to a possible conclusion that she still hadn't taken the time to unpack.

And then there was their conversation about a week ago, when Haru had asked if there was anyone in the aikido club that she was thinking about dating, or something like that. Makoto hadn't expected to hear something like that from her – from anyone, really, but from Haru in particular, since she'd never been one to pry into another person's life like that. And it had brought back a memory that Makoto hadn't realized she'd held onto, about the two people who found love in the aikido club and might even be married by now.

But if she put those two things together–

"Shiho!"

Ann's sudden cry jolted Makoto out of her thoughts, and then she immediately had to move, as Ann was just about shoving her out of the booth. Makoto slid out and quickly ducked aside as Ann launched herself out of the seat and hugged Shiho, holding onto her like there was nothing in the world more important.

Makoto had never been one for public displays of affection, but she could almost feel the happiness coming off of Ann, and something about it made her cheeks grow warm. Think about it later, she told herself; now still wasn't the time for that sort of thing.

Ann and Shiho shuffled themselves into the booth where Ann and Makoto had been, clearly intent on sitting next to each other, which Makoto supposed was only natural. She gestured for Ryuji and Haru to scoot over, and sat down on the other side of the table with them. Shiho leaned against Ann once they were both in place, resting her head on Ann's shoulder.

Haru, she couldn't help but notice, kept her hands together on the table, clenched together maybe a little too tightly. She must have a lot on her mind, Makoto thought; Haru had said she'd missed her train thanks to a work call. Hopefully some time with all of them would help her to relax.

Or was she thinking of something else?

"I don't think we've met," Makoto said, smiling as Shiho leaned on Ann's shoulder and Ann beamed. "I'm Makoto, and these two are Haru and Ryuji."

"It's good to meet you," Haru said.

"Yeah, hey," Ryuji added. "I don't think we've talked for a long time. Maybe second year?" He clapped a hand over his mouth. "Shit, I'm sorry, should I not talk about that?"

Shiho shook her head, her long ponytail waving back and forth. "It's all right," she said with a small smile, though there was some weariness around her eyes. "It's been a long time, and I've learned how to deal with everything that happened back then. Going to a new school and finishing my time there really helped me out."

"I bet," Ryuji said.

"Ann said you're working at a school now?" Haru asked.

"Oh, yeah, it's great," Shiho said, her eyes brightening. "It's just part time, but I'm doing sports work with elementary students. They wanted someone with a history in athletics, and I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do."

"Take as long as you need," Ann said, and it sounded like a discussion they'd had before. There was something protective in her voice, something Makoto hadn't heard before. But she supposed it made sense. Ann and Shiho had been very close, even before they became a couple, and they'd both been through so much thanks to the same horrible person.

"I know," Shiho said, and raised a hand to gently pat Ann's cheek. "I just don't want to freeload off you for the rest of my life."

"Sounds pretty good to me," Ryuji quipped, then grinned when Ann glared at him.

Makoto felt herself seized by a sudden impulse. All of these things she was trying to figure out, both herself and Haru among them, she wondered if she could talk about that with Ann and Shiho without being explicit as to why she was asking. It could be very helpful. She'd just have to be careful how she asked.

"I was wondering," Makoto began, "if you two would be all right telling us how you got together." The surprised looks on their faces told Makoto she hadn't been anywhere near as subtle as she'd wanted. Best to just press on. "It was kind of a surprise to all of us, so I've been curious how it happened."

Ann and Shiho looked at each other, and seemed to be communicating without words. Makoto had heard about couples doing that, but seeing it happen right in front of her felt like watching some kind of magic trick. After a moment, they seemed to come to some kind of agreement, and Ann nodded.

"Like I said before," Ann began, "I came back to Japan after doing some touring for my modeling. Of course Shiho and I kept in touch when I was traveling, and as soon as I was going to be back in Japan for a while, I told her, we need to hang out." She smiled. "We started hanging around a lot, like, all the time."

"I was still figuring out what I wanted to do," Shiho said. "Still am, but this was before I even had a job. My parents were supportive, but I knew they wanted me to do something more, maybe go to college." She looked away, her eyes a bit downcast. "I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. So . . . I just started staying at Ann's house."

"And my parents had no problem with this, they're barely ever home." Ann ate some more of her parfait, then offered some to Shiho, who ate it without taking the spoon. Haru giggled. "So after a while," Ann continued, "I just asked, why don't you move in here?"

"Of course I said yes," Shiho said, and licked a bit of cream off her lip. "Live with my best friend or with my parents? That's not exactly a hard choice." She snuggled up against Ann a little more, and Ann leaned into her. "And we just . . . got closer and closer."

They made it sound so easy, Makoto thought.

"We've always been close, since we first became friends," Ann said, blushing now. "But when we were around each other all the time, when we didn't have to ever be apart, it was like . . . we just kept finding reasons to be close. We'd hug as soon as we got home, lean on each other when we were making dinner-"

"Shiho, you can cook?" Ryuji interrupted.

"I can and I'm teaching Ann," Shiho said, looking rather proud of herself.

"And eventually," Ann continued, glaring at Ryuji again, "we were just sort of . . . cuddling. All the time. And it . . . it felt really good."

Shiho's cheeks were red now too, and when she spoke again, she was quieter than before, and Makoto found herself leaning forward. "I remembered what Ann said, when I went back to Shujin that one time, when I had to face what I did there. Ann said she loved me. I knew then she meant it as we were best friends, but in all the time we spent together, I started wondering if she meant it like something more. And I wondered if I meant it the same way."

Makoto felt herself grow warm inside. Was she just overthinking things? Could it be that easy?

Shiho raised her eyes, and looked up at Ann. "So one night, when we were cuddling on the couch and about to watch a movie, I just . . . I kissed her on the cheek. Because I wanted to, and I wanted to know what she'd do."

Makoto barely heard Haru take a deep breath, but she fought back doing the same. She could feel herself blushing, though, and hoped everyone else would be so taken in by Ann and Shiho's story that they wouldn't notice.

At least she could hide how hard her heart was pounding.

Ann said, "And I just felt something inside me screaming to kiss her back, and so . . . so I did." She turned and hid her face in Shiho's hair, and Shiho put a hand to her cheek again, and it was clear the story was over.

Was it really that simple, Makoto thought. That had hardly involved words, to hear them tell it – just a lot of time and a slowly growing affection. Could she do something like that? Not saying anything, just kissing someone . . . that was not her style.

But what if someone did that to her?

What if Haru did?

"Wow, do you two never watch romance stuff?" Ryuji asked out of nowhere. "Both of you are seriously red."

Out of the corner of her eye, Makoto saw Ryuji peering at her and Haru. She turned and snapped "Shut up, Ryuji!" at him, and he ducked back, right into the wall of the booth. "I'm sorry," she said a moment later. "Ann, Shiho . . . thank you for telling us. That's actually really sweet."

The conversation resumed after that, but Makoto hardly participated, instead trying to analyze her feelings and figure out what she could do about this. Ann and Shiho's story had struck something within her, there was no doubt about that. But she couldn't see herself approaching it the same way. She still needed time to figure herself out – to see what she really wanted, and to determine if what she was thinking about, what she was feeling, was really what she wanted or if it was just some passing thing.

But she glanced at Haru, who seemed engaged in the conversation, and remembered again what the other woman had asked her, if there was anyone at the aikido club she was interested in. Makoto didn't think Haru was really one for trickery in a conversation, but . . . if she'd wanted to know how Makoto felt, asking that would have been a very good way to learn.

If Makoto had any kind of answer for her, at least.

Makoto held back a sigh. She was still making too many assumptions – about Haru, and about herself. She needed time to figure this out. It wasn't the sort of problem she'd ever thought she would have, so it was much more of a mystery than she'd expected.

But looking at Ann and Shiho, and seeing how happy they seemed together . . . this, she told herself, would be worth figuring out.

Chapter Text

Haru walked into the aikido club's room feeling like a complete wreck.

As good as it had been to see everyone yesterday, hearing Ann and Shiho talk about their relationship had hit her a lot harder than she'd expected. There was something about the way they looked at each other, the way they leaned on each other, the way Ann leaped up to hug Shiho when she arrived, the way Shiho just gently touched Ann's face. . . .

There was no other way to think about it, Haru knew. She wanted that. She wanted that for herself, with someone who wanted the same, and she'd hardly been able to think about anything else since. Sometimes it was just an abstract desire, but more often than not she pictured herself having that kind of relationship with Makoto, and it just made her heart ache. If anyone had asked what classes she'd had today or who she'd talked to, Haru wasn't even sure she'd be able to answer them, she'd been so distracted.

And she continued to be, so much that she didn't even notice Kintaro walking up until he was right next to her.

"Hey, Haru – you okay?"

Haru jerked away a little, and blinked up at him. "Oh, Kintaro! How are you?"

"I'm fine," he said, rubbing at the back of his head and looking embarrassed. Maybe he thought he'd snuck up on her by accident. "I was wondering, are you good to start learning something new? Because I think today's a good time to start teaching you some throws."

"Yes," Haru said all at once. Having to focus on something new might help, and if that meant getting to throw someone around, so much the better. "I think I can do that."

"Good, one sec." Kintaro turned and waved. "Jun! Get over here!"

A man taller than Ren and considerably wider pulled himself away from the people he was talking to and jogged over. Despite being so large, Haru got the impression that he was somehow harmless – he immediately reminded her of the 'big guy' in a cartoon she'd watched as a child, though she didn't think she should tell him that.

"What's up, Kintaro?" Jun asked as he approached, then nodded to Haru as well. "Hey, I'm Jun. I don't think we've met."

"Hello, I'm Haru," she said, and bowed just a bit.

"Yeah, Haru's been here for a few weeks, so I think it's time to teach her some throws," Kintaro said. "You good with the basic lessons?"

"No problem, Golden," Jun said, then turned to Haru. "You want to do some warm-ups, then we'll hit the mats?"

By now, Haru knew that Jun was talking about training or sparring, as there might have been a time that she thought 'hit the mats' meant something very different. But she nodded, and adjusted the zipper on her Shujin tracksuit as she and Jun stepped onto one of the mats to warm up. There were times when she wondered if she should get a proper gi like Makoto or many of the other club members, but some part of her still liked wearing the red tracksuit, and there really was no need to replace it yet.

Jun led her through some of the basic warm-ups, and Haru did her best to focus on that. But her gaze kept drifting toward the door. Makoto hadn't shown up yet. She was usually so punctual. So why wasn't she here?

And did Haru really want Makoto here when she was trying to learn something new? Yes. Haru wanted her here no matter what. She did her best to shove that thought aside and regain her focus.

Once they were done warming up, Jun talked Haru through the motions of the throw, the basic stance, and where to grab onto someone for this type of throw. "So to teach you this," he said, "I'll let you throw me, so you get used to what it's like to swing someone around like that. Sound good?"

"I think so," Haru said. "I've just never done anything like this before."

"Nah, you'll be fine," Jun said. He had an easy-going smile, like there was nothing at all to worry about. "I've done this a bunch of times, just follow what I said and you'll be fine. Let's give it a shot, yeah?"

Jun walked her through the basic steps one more time, then had her grab the front of his gi and position herself correctly, then do the motion he'd taught her, and Haru swung him over her shoulder so hard that he hit the mat with a smack loud enough to echo through the entire room.

A silence hung over the club for a second as so many people turned to look, and Haru swore she heard someone say what sounded like 'red oni'. Jun let out a low groan.

Haru clapped her hands over her mouth as she realized what she'd done. She hadn't meant to, but something about the motion of the throw and taking hold of someone like that . . . she'd gone right back to how she'd been in the Metaverse, when she brought her axe down on shadows as hard as she could. And it had felt far too good.

"I'm so sorry!" Haru said, looking down at Jun. "I didn't – I thought I might not throw you properly, so I put some more into it, just in case, and. . . ."

Jun stared up at the ceiling for a moment, then slapped at his cheeks, and gave himself a full-body shake as he got to his feet. "It's okay," he breathed. "But you're a lot stronger than you look."

Haru looked away. "I . . . I might be," she said, unsure what else she could say about any of this.

But Jun recovered quickly, and the two of them returned to practice, with Haru putting him over her shoulder over and over as more people showed up at the club's room. She did her best not to throw him too hard again, but it wasn't easy. Every time, her mind flashed back to swinging an axe, and somehow, the urge to just hit things never went away no matter how many times she threw him.

It was all just pent-up stress and emotion, Haru knew that. But somehow, being here and doing this wasn't helping her get it out like she'd hoped it would. If nothing else, it was making things worse – she couldn't really let it out because she didn't want to hurt anyone, and eventually Makoto would show up, and that would only make all of this more difficult, wouldn't it.

Haru heard a familiar voice, and got her answer right away. She looked over to see Makoto chatting with another club member, clad in her gi as the two of them walked across the room toward the mats. Before Haru could figure out what to do, Kintaro clapped his hands together and called out for warm-ups to begin, and everyone started moving to line up in the usual rows.

And Makoto, of course, walked over to stand next to Haru, giving her a kind smile as she came over. "Hello, Haru."

"Hello, Makoto," Haru said, her voice small. She tried not to look over at her as Kintaro called for them all to bow. That smile of hers was enough to make Haru's insides go all fluttery.

All through the warm-ups, Haru fought to stay focused, to look at the people in front of her, to follow Kintaro's instructions, and to do anything but think about the woman standing next to her. Focus on her breathing, she told herself, then took in a deep breath and wondered if she was smelling Makoto's perfume or if Makoto even wore perfume or if it was just deodorant or if she would have thought it was hers even if she knew what Makoto did or didn't wear. Haru's thoughts ran in circles until they tripped over themselves, and it was all she could do to stay on her feet as the warm-ups got more complex.

The longer they went on, the more slow and clumsy her body felt. The room seemed to blur around the edges, and Haru tried hard to take deeper breaths, reminding herself not to hold her breath during the exercises. But it felt like her mind was truly elsewhere.

And if her mind was elsewhere, where was her heart?

That one was easy. Her heart was with the girl next to her, the one moving through forms and strikes and motions perfectly, breathing easily, like this was the sort of thing she could do all day, no matter what else was happening, like she'd been doing this all her life.

Haru's heart was maybe two feet away and she couldn't reach for it.

This . . . this couldn't be happening again, not so quickly, Haru thought. It had only been a few weeks since Ann had told them all about herself and Shiho, since Haru's old feelings toward Makoto had resurfaced like she'd never buried them – like she'd never failed to even realize they were there. How had she gone so long without ever knowing that about herself? How had she, for weeks, stayed in the same camper van, sleeping in the same space as Makoto every night, without ever realizing that she wanted to be closer?

It was kind of amazing what could happen when she saw a friend discover a new part of herself and realized that she could be the same.

But she still had no idea how Makoto felt. And there was no way to know, not without an incredibly awkward conversation that could so easily lead to her heart breaking again. Haru hadn't been able to tell Ren what she felt for him – that had taken Takakura speaking up on her behalf, without asking her first. And that had ended . . . badly.

The longer this went on, Haru thought, the worse it was going to get, and if she didn't find a way to–

Kintaro called for a turn, and Haru heard it wrong, and she spun left when she should have gone right, and she slammed right into Makoto, sending them both tumbling to the mat.

The collision only shook her for a moment, and Haru suddenly realized she was in fact on the floor, laying atop Makoto, their limbs and bodies splayed against each other. For just a second, she felt Makoto beneath her, and some part of her mind said this felt far too nice for her to move, and maybe she should just stay here for a while.

Then Haru realized what she was thinking and almost flipped herself backward as she tried to get off of Makoto as quickly as she could.

"Mako-chan, I'm so sorry! Are you all right?" Haru looked down at her, trying to make sure she was okay. Makoto's face was bright, bright red. Was she hurt?

Was she red for another reason?

Haru forced that thought down, again, and looked her friend over, trying to figure out if she'd been hurt. But Makoto shook her head, and sat up, breathing hard.

Somewhere nearby, Haru heard someone quietly ask, "How come she gets to call her 'Mako-chan'?"

She'd been calling Makoto that since the beginning, Haru thought. She hadn't even thought about it, it just kind of happened, and she'd thought it was because she was glad to have a friend her own age. She hadn't ever thought it meant anything more. But even if it hadn't then . . . it did now.

Even if now was the worst possible time to realize that.

"I'm fine, Haru," Makoto said. "You just knocked the wind out of me, that's nothing new here." She nodded in thanks as another club member helped her to her feet.

Haru slowly stood, wishing she'd held out a hand to help Makoto up but unsure if she would have been able to let go if she had. That would have been awkward, wouldn't it. As though what just happened wasn't awkward enough. She looked at Makoto, and ducked away when Makoto looked back, then turned to the front again as Kintaro started the warm-ups over again.

Makoto's face was still red. What was she thinking about what just happened? Was there something she wasn't saying?

Stop that, Haru told herself. She didn't need to be thinking about that right now, not unless she wanted to crash into Makoto again.

Though she kind of did. Maybe more than kind of. Or maybe Makoto could fall on her this time–

Stop that, she told herself again, feeling her face turn red. She frowned and threw herself hard into the warm-ups. Maybe she could pass the blush off as exertion.

And hopefully Makoto wasn't watching her.

Somehow, Haru made it through the rest of the warm-ups without running into anyone or embarrassing herself, and when people split off to spar or train, she quickly sought out Jun and asked if he wanted to continue teaching her how to throw. He chuckled and asked if she'd go easy on him, and she said she'd do her best.

Judging by the sound Jun made when he hit the mat again, her best might not have been good enough.

The rest of the club meeting passed without incident, and Haru did her best to avoid Makoto, though she knew she couldn't do that forever. The room was only so big, there were only so many people, and eventually they'd both have to leave and would probably take the same train home, as they often did. Maybe she could find an excuse to stay a little later. That wouldn't be strange, not at all.

Haru sighed, and stepped out to get a drink from the a fountain in the hall. Maybe coming to the club today hadn't been such a good idea. But she did want to be here, and most of it was fun; Jun said he'd teach her how to be thrown next time, so she could get used to that as well, and that was just another step toward more training. She didn't want to lose out on this, Haru thought as she finished at the fountain. But–

"Haru?"

Haru froze, then turned around to see Makoto walking toward her. "Mako-chan, I'm so sorry," she said again. "I – I don't know what happened, I just didn't hear him right and I turned the wrong way, and I didn't mean to-"

"Haru," Makoto said, that familiar calm smile on her face. She met Haru's gaze and held it. "I wanted to make sure you were okay, but you went right back to throwing practice and I didn't get a chance."

"I . . . I should be asking you that," Haru said, definitely not trying to turn the conversation away from herself. "I'm the one who fell on you."

"Trust me, that's not the first time something like that's happened here," Makoto said, and laughed just a little. "This is a martial arts club, people hit each other and fall on each other all the time. I'm fine."

"Who . . . who's fallen on you before?" Haru asked, peering at her. It felt like a strange question, but somehow she wanted to know.

Makoto only shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "It's been a while. But I promise, I'm fine. I've been hit a lot harder than that before."

"Oh. Okay, good." Haru glanced down at the floor, unsure of what else to say. When the silence grew strained, she said quietly, "I just . . . I didn't want to hurt you."

"Don't worry about that," Makoto said. "You're softer than I thought you'd be."

Haru's head snapped up, and she met Makoto's eyes. Makoto's face was bright, bright red again, and she looked like she'd said something she hadn't meant to say.

"I-I'm sorry," Haru stammered out again. "I should get going, it's getting late and I need to get home."

That was a complete lie, Haru thought as she ducked quickly into the club's room and grabbed her bag. She didn't look back, afraid of what she might see on Makoto's face if she did. Some part of her knew there was no reason to leave, it was just something Makoto had said, but she refused to let herself do anything else as she dashed down the stairs.

What had Makoto meant by that, Haru thought as she pushed the athletic building's doors open and hurried across campus, heading toward the train station even though she was tired and sweaty and lucky that she'd even remembered to grab her bag. Had Makoto . . . thought about her like that? About them being in – being close like that?

Had Makoto thought about how soft she would be?

Somehow it seemed impossible, that Makoto could actually be thinking about her like that, and even though Haru had told herself over and over that she had no way to know if Makoto liked girls, something like that could definitely suggest something whether she wanted to admit it or not. And that could mean . . . no, it couldn't.

Could it?

Had she just run away and missed her chance completely?

Chapter Text

Makoto made it a point to arrive early to the Shibuya diner. Normally this was barely an issue for her, but today was going to be different, and she wanted to make sure she got a corner booth, so there was enough room for everyone.

Today, Ryuji was bringing his girlfriend to meet the rest of them.

Somehow, knowing someone new was showing up made everything feel different, Makoto thought as she sat alone at the table. Yes, Ann had brought Shiho to join them, but that wasn't the same – Ann had known Shiho longer than she'd known any of the rest of them, except Ryuji. She wasn't sure if Ann had told Shiho about them being the Phantom Thieves, but Makoto figured it wasn't too big of a deal if she had. Ann would trust Shiho to keep the secret, so she could too.

But it did make Makoto wonder if the rest of her life was going to be like this – if she would constantly have to wonder if anyone new she became friends with, or got closer to, could be trusted to know about the past she shared with her friends. It was probably less of a big deal than she was making it out to be, because they weren't actively being Phantom Thieves anymore, but it still made her wonder.

Everybody had their secrets. Not everybody's secrets involved a hacked broadcast that had played across most of Japan to take down a Prime Minister.

Makoto smiled a little. It truly was good that they'd all stayed friends over these past few years. It would have been very strange not to have anyone to talk about those days with, or to only ever be around people who would never understand.

The sound of familiar voices reached Makoto a moment later, and she looked over to see Haru, Ann, and Shiho all walking toward the table together. The happy couple looked, well, happy as always, but Makoto immediately noticed that Haru looked nervous. She did her best not to frown. It had been a few days since Haru had fallen on her in the aikido club, and since Makoto had. . . .

Had said something she maybe shouldn't have. Of all the things to slip out. If Makoto was right, and Haru felt something toward her, then suggesting she'd been thinking about how soft Haru might be would not have helped the situation. It was easy to conclude that Haru definitely had something going on, considering how she'd reacted. But some part of Makoto had to acknowledge that she could be wrong, that she could have been misinterpreting the various things Haru had said or done over the past few weeks, and her comment could have bothered Haru in a way she really didn't want to have happen.

The two of them needed to talk, one way or another, Makoto thought as the others all greeted her and sat down. To her surprise, all three women sat down on the other side of the table, putting Haru right across from her. Makoto smiled at Haru, who blushed just a bit.

That could just as easily be embarrassment, Makoto told herself. But at least Haru wasn't upset with her. That was a good start.

"It's good to see you all," Makoto said as the three of them settled in. "Has anyone heard from Yusuke or Futaba? I wanted to get a table big enough, in case they showed up."

"Futaba can't make it, as usual," Ann said, her smile fading. "She told me she didn't do as well as she wanted on her last mock exam, so she's trying to focus on her worst subjects and really getting into them."

"I don't know how Futaba has worst subjects," Makoto said, furrowing her brow. "She told us last summer that the only thing she had trouble with was PE."

"Entrance exams bring out the worst in every subject," Shiho said, making a face that showed she didn't like any of that. "I looked over some booklets, when I was thinking about going to college."

"What did you think?" Makoto asked. If she could encourage Shiho to take up her studies again, maybe Ann would too, though–

"I think I'm not getting into any of the good colleges," Shiho said, wincing further. "But I've still got time to figure it out."

"The entrance exams were a hard time," Haru said, more quiet than usual; Makoto hoped she was just tired. "But . . . we got through them, didn't we, Mako-chan."

"We did," Makoto said, and nodded once. If Haru was still calling her that, then she definitely wasn't upset. "Haru and I spent a lot of time studying, back during our third year," she continued, looking at Shiho. "If you're thinking about going to college, I could probably help you."

"We'll see," Shiho said with a noncommittal shrug.

"There they are!"

Makoto raised her head at the familiar loud voice, and saw Ryuji striding toward their table, right alongside the tall woman from the picture he'd shown them a while back.

"Hey, everyone," Ryuji said as he reached the table, his grin wide. "Told you she could be here this time."

The woman standing next to him was clearly an athlete; Makoto would have guessed she played basketball even if Ryuji hadn't told them that she was on the team. She was taller than him, perhaps around Yusuke's height, and Makoto resisted the urge to glance down and see if she was wearing heels, as she definitely didn't seem like the type. Her black hair hung long and free, with her bangs cut in a line above her eyebrows, and she wore a basketball jersey over a simple t-shirt, along with slim-fitting pants that showed she was in good shape. Her eyes were narrow and dark, and she looked over everyone at the table, as though assessing them all at once.

"I'm Tsuruko Kato," the new woman said, and when she smiled, it looked genuine. "But you're Ryuji's friends, so you can call me Tsuruko."

The two newcomers slid into Makoto's side of the booth, and Makoto immediately felt much shorter than she was used to, with Tsuruko right next to her. But she turned a bit in her seat to try to see everyone at the table, and prepared to ask something, to fend off any awkward silences.

"Y'know," Tsuruko began, "Ryuji showed me pics of all of you, but I'm kind of amazed at two things. First is that you're all still hanging out this long after high school. My friends and I just kind of fell apart."

"We've been through a lot together," Makoto said, trying to keep it vague.

"And I've known Ryuji since middle school," Ann said, then smiled brightly. "I can tell you stories from then if you want."

Ryuji put a hand over his face. "Please no."

"Maybe later," Tsuruko said with a smirk. "And second. . . ." She looked at Ryuji, one eyebrow raised. "How are you friends with so many cute girls?"

An awkward silence, exactly the kind Makoto had been hoping to avoid, fell over the table. Makoto glanced at Haru, then Ann, and over to Ryuji, hoping any of them would give a sign about what they should or shouldn't say. When none of them spoke up, Ryuji finally cleared his throat.

"That's kind of a long story," he said. "But we can tell it, if it's not gonna be too boring."

"And now I'm curious," Tsuruko said, and leaned back in her seat. "Let's hear it."

Ryuji blew out a breath, and drummed his fingers on the table. "There was this guy, back in high school," he began. "He showed up during our second year – third year for these two," he said, pointing at Haru and Makoto. "And he had a reputation before he even got started."

"There were rumors," Makoto said, eager to pick up the story so nothing came out that shouldn't. "People labeled him as a delinquent, because he'd been accused of a crime, and Shujin was the only school that would take him in." Tsuruko raised both eyebrows at her, and Makoto nodded.

"Yeah, and that was bullshit," Ryuji said. "I met him by accident, and he was just this guy, y'know? Totally cool with everything that was getting thrown at him, even though half the school was whispering all kinds of stuff behind his back. We started hanging out, and people started giving me shit for being his friend, and then-"

"Then he helped me when I really needed to talk to someone," Ann interrupted. "It was . . . a really bad time, for both of us, because of one teacher that nobody could speak up about." Shiho leaned against her, and they moved their arms together underneath the table, clearly holding hands. "But somehow, the guy I only knew because he sat behind me in class was the first one who actually listened to me, and he helped me through it, even when things got really bad."

"I had to leave the school," Shiho said quietly, "that's how bad it was." She said nothing more, and Makoto hoped Tsuruko wouldn't press for more information.

Tsuruko looked around at all of them. "Who was this guy? And what did he even do, that people were talking shit like that about him?"

"His name was Ren," Makoto said. "And after the teacher that caused the problems was – dealt with, the principal asked me to try to figure out if he was causing trouble on campus." She paused. "I was student council president at the time."

"Damn, you were serious about that," Tsuruko said, looking at Ryuji. When he nodded, she looked around at the rest of them. "So which one of you is the genius hacker?"

"That's Futaba," Ann said. "She's studying for entrance exams, she couldn't make it today."

"And there's Yusuke, he's an artist and one of us too, though we kind of just picked him up along the way when he asked if Ann would model for him." Ryuji grinned, though Ann looked like she wanted to throw something at him. "You'll meet him someday, I'm sure, if he can get away from all the stuff he's got going on at art school."

"They'd all met by the time I started talking to them," Makoto continued. "And I learned that not only was Ren not involved in any trouble, he had nothing to do with another problem I was told to look into – some students were getting scammed, and the principal wanted answers."

Tsuruko scowled. "Your principal sounds like kind of an asshole."

Makoto let out a quiet sigh and declined to say that he was dead now. "But I learned who Ren really was, and just like with Ann, once he knew what was going on, he wanted to help. We worked out the problem with the scammers, and after that, I started spending time with all of them, because I'd realized they were the kind of people I wanted to be around."

It felt a little strange to say it like that, as there was so much of the story she was leaving out. But that was necessary. There was no way to tell Tsuruko the whole truth.

"Okay, and what about you?" Tsuruko asked, looking at Haru and smiling. "I see you sitting there quiet in the corner."

"I . . . I found his cat," Haru said, still more quiet than usual. "There's a bit more to it than that, but I found his cat, and that's how I started talking with everyone." She paused, looking down at the table. "I was . . . in a bad situation when everyone found me, mostly because of family problems, and they all helped me get through it." Haru raised her eyes, and smiled. "Even when things got worse, they stood by me. I don't think I could have done all that I have since without them."

Makoto leaned back, her eyes opening wide. She hadn't ever heard Haru say it like that. There had been so much going on with her when she joined the Phantom Thieves, both with her unwanted fiancee and her father. And Makoto wondered sometimes if Haru thought that her father would still be alive if they hadn't been manipulated into stealing his heart. But it seemed she'd worked her way through that, or maybe she'd never thought of it that way.

Something to ask about later, Makoto thought, if there was reason to.

"Wow, all that and he's a cat guy," Tsuruko said. She sounded impressed, though Makoto couldn't be sure, having only just met the woman. "But now I want to know – what'd he do that got everyone calling him a delinquent?"

"He saved a woman from getting assaulted," Ann said all at once. Next to her, Shiho curled closer, her eyes downcast. "But the man doing it was powerful, and he got Ren falsely accused of attacking him. It was – horrible, really. He didn't deserve anything of what he got."

"Shit," Tsuruko whispered. "It's weird, but now I kind of wish I'd gone to your high school. I got made fun of a ton for my height, all the time, like there was anything I could do about it." She rolled her eyes. "But I would have been right there for a guy who was falsely accused and had all those rumors going on around him. He sounds like a good guy."

"He really is," Makoto said, then leaned back and managed to catch Ryuji's eye behind Tsuruko. She made a gesture over her face with one hand, like a mask, and gave him a serious look. Ryuji shook his head. Good. He hadn't told her anything. "I'm sure he'd be here now, but he lives too far away," she added.

Then, Tsuruko's serious look faded all at once, and she elbowed Ryuji in the ribs, just a little. "I knew you were up to something big back in high school, but you wouldn't tell me!"

"It wasn't a big deal!" Ryuji laughed, then shook his head. "All I did was make a new friend and stand up with an old one," he said, gesturing to Ann. "And things just kind of spiraled up from there."

"Sounds like you did some good, though," Tsuruko said.

Makoto smiled, watching as the two of them bantered and Ann and Shiho joined in. There was something nice about all of this, she thought, something weirdly touching about Tsuruko seeing good in Ryuji even if he hadn't been trying to be that way himself. It seemed like Tsuruko would fit in with them well enough.

She glanced toward Haru, and saw she was watching the two couples, her eyes going from one to the other. What was she thinking about, Makoto wondered. She remembered again how Haru had asked her not long ago if she was interested in anyone in the aikido club, and how she'd thought she didn't have an answer.

Could she have an answer for Haru now? Could she-

Buzzes and beeps rose from four phones at once all around the table, and Makoto reached for her phone at the same time as Haru, with Ann and Ryuji close behind. There was a new message in the Phantom Thieves group text, from one of their missing members.

YUSUKE: My friends, I must express my regrets once more that I am unable to join you all today. However, I come to you with excellent news. My academy is holding an event at Destinyland next Saturday, and I can secure some additional admissions to the park. Who among you is interested?

"That's your artist guy?" Tsuruko asked, looking down at Ryuji's phone. "He always talk like that? I feel like I'm reading a play."

"Yeah, that's him," Ryuji said, grinning. "He's just like that."

FUTABA: curse your timing, inari

FUTABA: i've got a mock exam that day, can't miss it

FUTABA: i want to goooooooooooooo

"And that's the hacker," Tsuruko said. "She types fast."

"But we haven't been to Destinyland in forever!" Ann said, looking thrilled. "We should totally go!"

"I'm in," Shiho said. "I don't think I've been there since I was a kid."

Makoto looked to Haru again. Their last trip to Destinyland had ended poorly, perhaps even traumatically for her. But she was smiling, so it seemed that she was fine with the idea. Makoto made a mental note to ask her about that too, just in case she wasn't as fine as she looked.

MAKOTO: How many passes do you have, Yusuke? There are six of us here, and we'd all like to go.

RYUJI: yeah, is it cool if Tsuruko comes? she wants to meet you.

YUSUKE: I'm not certain who that is, but she's welcome to join us.

"You didn't tell him about me?" Tsuruko glared at Ryuji.

"I told him!" Ryuji gestured at his phone. "Maybe I didn't tell him your name? But you'll get it when you meet him, he might have just forgot."

ANN: Looks like we've got a full group! How do we get our passes?

YUSUKE: I'll handle that, and meet you at the gates. Until then!

FUTABA: so jealous

FUTABA: soooooooooooo jealous

Well, this was going to be interesting, Makoto thought. A day at Destinyland with everyone, and with things between her and Haru . . . undetermined and potentially awkward. She would have to make it a point to talk things over with Haru before the trip. Though she had to admit, she still needed to think things over before then, to truly figure out what she wanted and how she felt.

But . . . as little as she'd been seeing Haru recently, Makoto doubted she'd be able to figure herself out if she didn't get a chance to spend more time with the other woman. Fortunately, she had a plan to amend that.

After a meal filled with banter and old stories and occasional shouts, the group of them filed out of the diner, heading into Shibuya. Makoto stepped up next to Haru as they reached the streets and pulled her aside.

"Mako-chan?" Haru asked, a blush coloring her cheeks again.

That was really cute, Makoto thought. And if she was thinking that, she definitely needed to ask about this. "I was wondering," she began. "The aikido club's going out drinking after Friday's meeting. It's something they do once or twice a month, just to a small bar that caters to groups. Do you want to come?"

Haru looked more determined than Makoto had seen her in a very long time, and Makoto tried not to let the surprise show on her face. "Yes," Haru said at once, "though only if you're coming. I . . . I don't have much experience with alcohol, and I don't want to go drinking without someone I really know there."

Makoto did her best to give a reassuring smile. "You don't even have to drink. I usually only have one or two myself, just to socialize. But I'll definitely be there, if you want to come."

"All – all right," Haru said, looking up at her, still seeming quite set on this. "We'll do this on Friday, then."

Makoto smiled to herself as the two of them rejoined the rest of the group. That had gone more easily than she'd thought, and Haru seemed very interested in spending some time with her, one way or another. Hopefully things would go well with the club and they'd have a good chance to talk.

And maybe, Makoto thought, she could finally figure some things out, both about Haru and for herself. Friday ought to be interesting.

Chapter Text

For the first time in her life, Haru understood why people wanted to drink.

It had only been a week since things had gone so badly at aikido club, when she'd fallen on Makoto and tried to avoid talking to her and when Makoto had come to talk to her, Makoto had said. . . .

She'd said Haru was softer than she'd thought she would be.

Which meant Makoto had been thinking about her. Which meant Makoto had been wondering how soft she would be. The memory still made Haru's face burn red every time she thought about it. This . . . she had no idea how to deal with this. Not that she'd known how to deal with anything she'd been feeling over the past month or so, but hearing that from Makoto changed everything.

And then, Haru remembered, she'd run out of the room. Right down the stairs and out of the entire building. When she finally had a chance to talk to Makoto about whatever she might or might be feeling, Haru had just turned and run off, like there was nothing else she could do. And yet . . . she didn't know if she could have talked through anything, not right then. She'd spent her entire time at the club trying to focus on anything but Makoto and failing over and over again, and then. . . .

As usual, it was too much. Somehow, nothing had grown any easier since she'd come to understand her feelings for Makoto, and those feelings growing stronger had only made things worse.

So maybe going out with the aikido club and trying to forget about everything for a little while would be a good idea.

Haru looked herself over in her dorm's small mirror once more; she wasn't really sure what to wear to go out drinking and she didn't want to risk spilling on something she really liked, so she went with a simple dress and a light coat, nothing too fancy and not any of her favorites. Once it was time to go, she put on one of her smaller hats, and headed down to the train station.

As soon as she got there, Haru knew she'd over-dressed, as most of the aikido club members were just in shirts and jeans, very casual, like she should have known people would be if they were going drinking. But it wasn't like she had any experience with this, Haru told herself. What she had on would have to do; it wasn't like she could go change now.

She greeted everyone as she reached the group, then heard a familiar voice right behind her, and turned to see Makoto standing there. Her heart leaped, both in surprise and for other reasons, and she felt her face grow warm and hoped Makoto wouldn't spot that.

"Evening, Haru," Makoto said, an easy smile on her face. She'd also changed from her usual school clothing, though she was wearing something more like what she'd worn during their days on the road last summer. It almost seemed rebellious compared to her usual clothing, and Haru had to admit she liked the look very much.

"Good evening, Mako-chan," Haru said, though her voice was almost lost in the low rumble of the crowd and the louder voices of the aikido club. "Do you know where we're headed tonight?"

"Probably the same bar as always," Makoto said. "It's in-"

The station's recorded voice rang out as another train rolled in, and Kintaro called out from somewhere in the cluster of club members. A cheer went up, and everyone piled into the train, pulling Haru and Makoto along in their wake.

There were a lot more people on the train than Haru was used to. She'd never much been one for going out at night, so while she supposed it made sense that plenty of people would be going out and having fun on a Friday, she hadn't much thought about it before. She found herself squished in close among the rest of the club, with Makoto right next to her, the other girl constantly looking around the train like she was watching out for trouble.

Haru wondered for a moment if Makoto was thinking that she was soft again, pressed together as they were, and looked away, doing her best to hide her blush beneath the brim of her hat.

This might turn out to be a very long night, she thought.

They all shuffled off the train a few stops away, into an older part of the city. Haru looked around, catching sight of all kinds of shop names and advertisements and signs pointing people toward other destinations, neon glowing bright in every direction. There was something strangely charming about it all, and yet, it was definitely the sort of place she wouldn't want to wander around alone at night. She moved in close to Makoto, just in case, glad for both her presence and the rest of the club.

"Onward!" Kintaro yelled, and most of the club members cheered.

Haru held back the urge to latch onto Makoto's arm as they made their way through the city. It wasn't long before they reached a bar that somehow reminded her of LeBlanc – old-fashioned and a little dark, but not at all without its charm. The name was written on a weathered sign hanging next to the door, but someone spoke up before Haru got a chance to read it.

"This is such an old-man bar," one of the other club members said, then looked at Kintaro. "You sure we're good to drink here?"

"It's not old, it's traditional!" someone yelled, making many of the others laugh.

"Yeah, the club's been coming here for years, they love us," Kintaro said. He wore his hair down now, instead of in a ponytail like he did in the club, which made him look somehow younger and more rowdy. "And the hourly rate here's a lot cheaper than most places."

"Oh, I've heard about places like this," Haru said. "I remember. . . ." She trailed off. She'd heard about bars like that from her father, when he returned home late and complained about having to drink with his subordinates because it was expected from him. She shook her head when Kintaro looked at her. "Never mind, it's nothing."

Everyone started to file in, and Makoto looked at her as they fell in at the rear of the group, concern clear on her face. "Are you all right?" Makoto asked. "You don't have to drink if you don't want to."

"No, I . . . I'm all right," Haru managed. And she did want to drink.

A kind and very traditional-looking woman gave the group a friendly greeting as they headed inside, and she seemed to know Kintaro, treating him like he was a regular. She led them to a larger room in the back of the bar, one with low tables and scrolls on the wall with food to order. It really was just like she'd heard about, Haru thought. Small dishes for sake were already on the tables, and the aikido club members scattered themselves around the room, lounging on the floor and chatting.

Haru and Makoto joined one of the larger tables, as there wasn't room for two people anywhere else by the time they got into the room. "So, how does this work?" Haru asked quietly once they were settled in.

"They'll send in some people who'll pour the sake," Makoto said, also keeping her voice low. "Then we drink. If you don't want more, just put your hand over the dish."

"How many times have you done this?" Haru asked, giving Makoto a curious look. She seemed so calm about all of this, like it wasn't a big deal at all. Then again, she wasn't the one still fighting with her own feelings after weeks of doing so.

Or was she?

Before Haru could wonder about that, more people dressed in traditional clothing came into the room, and the club cheered as the sake started flowing. The hosts also brought in some small appetizers, and set plates for food on all the tables. Once everyone had a full dish, Kintaro raised his, called out a cheer praising the aikido club, and everyone downed their drink.

Haru shivered as the taste of sake filled her senses. She made herself swallow it, then blinked and shook her head, her lips puckering. Someone else at the table laughed. The rice wine was . . . she didn't have the words for it, she'd never tasted anything quite like it, as her father wasn't one for keeping alcohol around the house. But a faintly pleasant feeling quickly spread through her body, warm and light.

So maybe she'd be okay. Maybe if she had some more, she'd feel even better.

A few more dishes proved that to be right. Haru started smiling, and laughed when the club members she was sitting with joked about the classes they were taking and the annoying professors and how much they just wanted to storm out of class sometimes. At some point, someone must have ordered food, because there was grilled chicken and fried tofu on the table and it was better than Haru had expected it to be.

One of the others at the table turned to Haru, and it took her just a moment longer than it should have for her to focus on him.

"Hey, Haru," the club member said. Why was his face blurry? "You don't have a nickname yet, so we've been thinking. Maybe you get to be 'red oni'."

"Red oni?" Haru asked. The words took a bit more focus than usual to get out, so she drank another dish of sake, because it seemed like that would help. "Why's that?"

"Because you wear red," the girl next to the first person said, and Haru fought to remember her name. Had she ever even known her name? "And because you're scary."

Haru laughed at that, more than she'd meant to. "I'm not scary, you can ask Makoto." She leaned on Makoto, carefully, taking great care not to bump her and spill her drink. That . . . that took some focus. "We've known each other a long time, and . . . hey, Mako-chan, if I'm the red oni, does that make you the blue oni?"

Makoto gave Haru a familiar stern look, and barely sipped from her sake dish. "I'm Queen," she said, her voice firm enough to make the rest of the table laugh. "That's the only nickname I need."

Haru giggled. "Yes, you are," she said. "Though if you're Queen, maybe I should be . . . black oni, instead." She tried to sip from her dish again, but it was empty, so she waved for more.

"Black oni?" the first person who'd spoke asked. His face was still hazy, but he looked confused. "Why that?"

Haru leaned toward them, then smiled and said, "I'm not allowed to tell you," and giggled again.

"How did you get your nickname, Hinata?" Makoto asked, looking at the girl who'd explained Haru's name.

Oh. Haru realized what she'd almost done. It wasn't like people would automatically figure out they were the Phantom Thieves if she said her name; that was a while ago and not everyone had seen the broadcasts where they named themselves, and not everyone spoke French so they might not know what Noir meant.

But she'd almost said something she shouldn't. That wasn't good. She could have . . . caused a problem, and then Makoto would be upset with her. Haru hunched over, staring down at her lap. She didn't want to cause problems. She didn't want to hurt anyone. That was why . . . she couldn't talk to Makoto about . . . about things, because . . . because. . . .

Haru looked down at her dish and realized it was full again. When had that happened? But she drank it. Because she was getting sad. And because drinking had been making her happy, so clearly, she should drink more if she was sad, so she could be happy again.

After that dish or maybe after the next one, the room started to get wavy. Haru reached for some more tofu, ate it, then hesitated as the room tilted back and forth. That was new. She then leaned on Makoto again, and that seemed to keep the room from moving too much. And it felt nice. Makoto was warm. Or maybe the room was warm. Maybe it was both. Either way was good. Leaning against Makoto was good.

"You're . . . not really. . . ." Haru muttered, and Makoto looked at her.

"I'm not really what?" Makoto asked. Haru couldn't tell how she looked. Why was her face blurry now too? She was so much closer.

"Soft," Haru blurted out. "You're not really soft." She blinked, long and slow. "But I'll still lean on you."

"You can do that," Makoto said, and Haru thought she smiled though there was no way to be sure with her face being so blurry. But smiling was good. She liked it when Makoto smiled. So nice. "And I've been called hard-nosed before."

"What, you, Queen?" someone from across the table said. "Nahhh. . . ."

"Your nose is. . . ." Haru squinted, trying to make Makoto's face come into focus. It didn't work, so she went with what she knew. "Cute," she said. "Your nose is cute."

Laughter sprang up all around the table, and Haru was pretty sure her face was red already so maybe nobody would notice if it got redder, because she definitely felt it getting hotter. She shouldn't have said that. Makoto was smart, and if Haru called her cute, she'd figure . . . figure something out, and that could be . . . something. So Haru drank more, so she could keep herself from getting sad again about the things she couldn't say.

Sometime after that, Haru realized she was walking again. All the lights were so fuzzy, and everyone around her sounded like they were right close nearby and also far away. Why was everything moving so much, and leaving trails. . . .

Oh. So this was what being drunk was like. It wasn't too bad, not really. Kind of spinny. Whee.

Haru dimly realized she was hanging onto someone, with her arm around a strong pair of shoulders. A sharp thought flickered through the muddled parts of her mind, and she looked, afraid it was someone else. But no, it was Makoto, helping her stay steady as they walked . . . wherever they were going. "Oh," Haru mumbled, and fought to make her words come out clearly. "Are we going home?"

"Yes," Makoto said.

She sounded so upset. "I'm sorry," Haru said, "and I think I should drink more, because you sound mad and that makes me sad, and the drinking . . . makes me happy." Her voice sounded so whiny. Maybe she should stop talking.

There was the sound of a sigh, and Makoto held her up a little more, held her a little closer. Haru wanted very much to enjoy it and wasn't sure if she really should. They were so close, but . . . but nothing. "I'm not mad, Haru," Makoto said, her voice kind. "I wondered if this would happen. But you definitely shouldn't drink any more."

Haru hung her head, but that just made the spinning worse, so she tried her best to hold it up. And she didn't want to lose her hat. She still had her hat on, right. It felt like she did. But if she checked, she might knock it off, because it didn't really feel like her free arm would work very well.

Things got blurry again for she didn't know how long, until she felt the ground moving, and realized they were on the train again, and that she was propped up against a pole with Makoto on her other side. That was right. They were going home. Home was good. But . . . she heard a district name, and it wasn't home. It was the other way from home.

"Mako-chan . . . where are we going?" The pleasant spinning was starting to fade, and Haru had the faint sensation that she was going to regret all of this tomorrow. Or today. Was it tomorrow yet?

"We're going to my sister's place," Makoto said. She still sounded so kind, and Haru wanted to hug her. Could she lift her other arm and do that? Probably not right now. The pole might stop holding her up. "I'm not leaving you alone and drunk in your dorm room."

"Oh," Haru breathed, "you're so nice, Mako-chan," and that was all she could get out.

Maybe it was better if she couldn't say any more. She might say too much.

There was more walking and more lights, until Haru heard a door open and raised her head again, making sure not to lose her hat. Wherever they were, it was nice, kind of formal but still cozy. And those couches looked very comfortable.

"I'm home," Haru said, her voice trailing off.

Makoto chuckled. "Sae's probably working late, again, or there would have been a light on," she said. "But I still have a room here. We'll be fine to stay here for the night."

Somehow, Makoto guided her over to one of the couches, and Haru sagged down on it, feeling like her entire body was made of lead. She leaned back. Her hat fell off. That was okay now, though, because they were inside, and she could get it back.

There was the sound of running water, and a moment later, Makoto returned to the couch and sat down next to her, then pressed something into her hands. "Drink this," she said. "It's just water. But you need it right now."

"Thank . . . thank you," Haru mumbled, then slowly lifted the mug and drank. The water was clean and cool, and she swore she could feel it rushing down her throat. Something in her head felt like it was getting fuzzier, though, and she knew she wasn't going to stay upright much longer. So she finished the water, somehow managed to set the mug on the table, then flopped over and rested her head on Makoto's lap.

"Hello Mako-chan," she said, then giggled. "I'm . . . I'm sorry you had to do this. I'm sorry for . . . I don't. . . ."

"It's all right," Makoto said. "Just don't make a habit of this if we go drinking again, all right?"

"I . . . I don't know," Haru said. She moved in closer, until her shoulder bumped Makoto's thigh. "But I think I was wrong. About you. Not being soft, I mean. You're . . . really comfortable."

Makoto looked down at her, and Haru realized her vision must be clearing a little, because she was sure Makoto was smiling. "So does that mean I'm not hard-nosed, like some people say?"

"I don't know," Haru said again. She reached up and poked Makoto's nose. "Beep."

A tired look fell over Makoto's face. "Please don't do that."

Haru poked her nose again. "Boop."

"Haru. . . ."

Haru giggled again, then turned onto her side and sank into the couch and just let sleep take her.

Chapter Text

Makoto woke with a slightly sore back and an unusual warmth in her lap.

She blinked a few times, memories of last night coming back to her. She'd only had a dish or two of sake, just enough to be social and act like she was drinking, because after a few rounds, nobody noticed how much she had or hadn't drunk. Which was why she'd been able to bring Haru back safely to Sae's place.

And it was a good thing she had. She'd wondered how much Haru would drink, but she hadn't expected the other woman to down dish after dish like that. Makoto counted both of them very lucky that Haru hadn't had to vomit.

Especially since it was now clear that Haru had slept the night away with her head in Makoto's lap.

Makoto slowly opened her eyes. By the light coming in through the windows, she guessed it was morning, but not too early. Sae must have come in and found them both asleep on the couch, as there was a blanket draped over her, carefully arranged to not cover Haru's head, and another blanket covering Haru. Makoto wondered how she'd managed to fall asleep, both sitting up and with Haru using her for a pillow, then decided it didn't matter.

Because Haru's sleeping face was soft and cute, and Makoto couldn't help smiling at it.

She'd heard stories about waking up with someone after a night of drinking. Makoto was absolutely sure this wasn't what most people meant when they talked about that, but she had to admit, it was actually kind of nice. Sae's home was quiet, and for now, it was just the two of them. Haru's warmth was welcome, her breathing quiet and oddly calming, a few locks of her curly hair trailing across her cheek. Makoto wondered if she could just close her eyes again and go back to sleep.

There was also the matter of what Haru had said last night. Makoto knew better than to trust what people said when they were drinking; while it was often said that a drunk person spoke the truth, just as often they didn't know what they were saying at all. Haru was as likely to tell Makoto that she loved her as she was to talk about having a pet elephant.

But while what Haru had said wasn't world-changing, at least it could answer a few questions. Haru said she was cute, or at least that her nose was cute, and genuinely seemed to have some affection for her, more than she had shown toward any of their friends. And Haru said she was soft and comfortable.

That, Makoto thought, was definitely something she'd never heard before. But maybe she was all right with Haru saying it.

The thought brought heat to her cheeks.

"I need to figure this out," Makoto whispered to herself. That was enough to work with, wasn't it? Haru had shown her some small signs of affection beyond friendship, and even accounting for drunkenness, had seemed perfectly happy to fall asleep curled up against her. And as for herself, here she was, glad to be waking up with Haru next to her, and thinking she was cute.

Makoto bit her lip, just a bit. Both Haru's affection and her own feelings were new to her, and both felt good, in ways she didn't have words for. Even if this wasn't a position she'd ever expected to be in. She could deal with that. But it still felt like–

The sound of footsteps came from nearby, and Makoto raised her head. Sae strode into the living room, hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, wearing a sleeveless shirt and sweat pants. Makoto had often wondered how many of the people Sae worked with thought she slept in a suit, the way she seemed so at home in it. But Makoto knew better.

"Good morning," Sae said quietly, then walked past the couch to the kitchen. She came back a moment later with two glasses of water and some headache medicine, then set them on the table in front of the couch. "Have you been drinking?"

"Only a little," Makoto said. "I'm fine. Though I can't say the same for Haru." She looked up at her sister. "And thank you for the blankets. I'm sorry to intrude, but Haru had a little too much, and I didn't want to take her back to the dorm where she'd be by herself."

Sae shook her head, smiling. "Don't worry about it," she said. "Even when you're at college, this is still your home, though I hope the drunk friend part won't become a habit."

"I don't think that'll happen," Makoto said, and as soon as the words were out of her mouth, Haru murmured something and stirred.

Here it comes, Makoto thought.

Haru made a soft grumbling noise, and covered her eyes. Some of her hair was pressed down against her head, giving her a lopsided look as she lifted her head from Makoto's lap. "Where am. . . ." she muttered, then turned over just enough to see Makoto.

"Good morning, Haru," Makoto said, smiling.

Haru sat up all at once, her eyes wide, sending her blanket tumbling to the floor, and pressed her hands to her mouth. But before she could say anything, she let out a long groan and clutched at her head. Makoto couldn't tell if her face was red from pain or embarrassment or something else. Maybe all of them at once.

"Drink some water," Sae said, "and take the medicine. Then take a very hot shower. I'll make some breakfast."

Haru fumbled down the medicine and water, then slowly got to her feet, not looking at Makoto at all. She mumbled thanks and then something about the bathroom, then went where Sae pointed, and disappeared around the corner.

Sae leaned against the back of the other couch, facing Makoto and looking down at her. "That's not the most embarrassed wake-up I've ever seen, but it's in the top five. What's going on with that girl?"

Makoto sighed. There were so many ways to answer that and she couldn't be certain about any of them. But she'd been trying to figure this out for weeks, with nowhere near as much progress as she would have liked. So maybe it would be all right to get some outside help.

She took a moment to gather her thoughts, then asked, "Have you ever had someone say something that made you question things you thought you knew about yourself? One day you're the same as usual, then the next day, everything seems different, just because you realize things don't only have to be one way?"

Makoto paused, wondering how much she should say, or if she'd already said too much. She was still trying to figure things out for herself, so it might take some time to get her point across, and spelling out what she was trying to determine might be difficult. But Sae was an attorney, and could tell a lot from a suggestion or an implication.

To her surprise, Sae nodded, then pulled a phone out of her sweats pocket.

Makoto caught a glimpse of red behind Sae's hand, then laughed when she realized what it was. "A Phantom Thieves phone case? Really?"

"I'm allowed to support my little sister's work," Sae said, a brighter smile than usual on her face. "And this isn't my work phone. But yes, I think I know what you're talking about."

Makoto sat up straighter. Of all the things she'd expected, immediate understanding hadn't been on the list. "You do?"

"And it wasn't just one person," Sae said, then held out her phone. "It was a whole group. Take a look."

Makoto took the phone from Sae, and saw a website she'd never heard of. It looked like a discussion group, and there was some kind of flag logo on the site banner, done in purple, black, grey, and white. It took her a moment to realize what she was reading, as she hadn't seen the word before more than once or twice.

"An asexuality group?"

Sae nodded. She seemed oddly comfortable with this, and Makoto wondered how long she'd known, and how long Sae had kept this from her. "For most of my life, people told me I'd meet someone eventually, and I guess I believed them. But I never did. Then I found this place when I was researching some other things for a case, and it was like. . . ."

She trailed off, looking out the window. "Some of the things they wrote, I could have written them myself. It took a while for me to understand it, but it's just the way I am."

"I see," Makoto said, and scrolled through a few of the discussion boards. Most of it looked really friendly – there were some places made for heavier talk, but there was a lot of joking around, and more than a few memes about just not getting it when people talked about attraction or desire or whatever else.

"I hadn't really heard about this," Makoto said, and looked up at her sister when Sae turned back to her. "But if this is who you are, and you know that now, then good." She smiled, and Sae smiled back. "I've been trying to figure myself out for weeks, I'm glad you've done that for yourself."

"I wanted to tell you eventually," Sae said. "You're my sister, you should know. But I understand if something has you questioning yourself." She nodded toward the bathroom. "Or someone."

Makoto took a deep breath, then set Sae's phone aside and folded her hands in her lap. For a moment, she wished Haru was still there, and felt her face grow warm again. Just say it, she told herself.

"I'm not sure how I feel," Makoto began, though it came out quietly, not much more than a whisper. "One of my friends came out, she has a girlfriend now, and that got me thinking, and wondering, and then Haru . . . started acting like she might feel some way toward me." She twisted her hands together in her lap. Something about saying it out loud made it more real, and her heart started beating harder. "It was all little things, I think. But they've been adding up. I really think there's something there for her."

"And for you?"

Makoto tried to say something, but nothing came out. She just didn't know. There was still more to consider–

Sae moved in to lean on the couch again, towering over Makoto. "Did you think about just asking her?"

"I didn't know how that would go," Makoto said, her voice shaking a little in a way she did not like at all. An ache spread through her chest. "This isn't how I ever thought I would be, and that's not a conversation I ever thought I'd have."

"Give me your first answer, no thinking about it, just whatever jumps into your mind," Sae said, holding up one finger. "Haru asks you out. What do you say?"

"Yes," Makoto whispered, and felt the ache inside her sink down deep.

Something about the idea of spending time with Haru, just with Haru, felt really good to her. They could talk without worrying about anyone else, and she wondered if Haru was the type to hold hands when they were together and somehow it made perfect sense that she was, and that seemed like it would be really nice, and then she remembered Haru falling on top of her during aikido club and she felt her whole body turn far too warm.

Sae smirked at her as Makoto threw off the blanket. "I think that's your answer right there," she said.

"I said yes, didn't I?" Makoto said, glaring at her.

"Not just that," Sae said. "You're blushing all the way down your neck."

"Oh, shut up." Makoto crossed her arms over her chest. But Sae chuckled at her, and Makoto couldn't look away from her for too long. She took a deep breath, trying to think clearly again. There was some great relief in admitting her feelings out loud, but she wasn't through with this yet.

"All right. You're right, that did help. I've been putting off thinking about this for too long, I know that." Makoto let her breath out slowly. "So, now, what to do about this."

"What do you want to do about this?" Sae asked.

A question that echoed her own. Makoto wasn't sure if that was some lawyering technique or just a sister thing, but either way, it was annoying. But Sae was right. She'd spent enough time saying she wasn't sure how she felt, or what she should do, because she needed the first one to determine the second.

But now, she knew how she felt. Which meant she had to do something about it.

An idea came to her all at once, and she smiled, knowing it was the right one. "I think I know how to handle this."

Haru sat in the shower, legs curled up to her chest, warm water running down over her. The pounding in her head had decreased to a mild rumble, so she guessed Sae had been right in recommending the hot shower. But it wasn't doing a thing for what was really going on inside her head.

There was a lot of last night she couldn't remember. She recalled going to the bar, and heading into the smaller room, and some of the chatting as they all started drinking. She remembered someone suggesting her aikido club nickname, and it wasn't a bad one. And she remembered drinking. And more drinking, because it felt good and made her happy. And something making her sad, so she drank more, trying to be happy again.

And leaning on Makoto in the bar.

And leaning on Makoto as they walked out of the bar.

And leaning on Makoto on the train, and wanting to hug her.

And . . . and once they were here, falling over onto Makoto's lap, where she woke up this morning.

What else had she done? What didn't she remember? She hadn't . . . she hadn't tried to kiss Makoto, had she?

Haru put her hands to her cheeks and slapped them a few times, sending water drops flying. That couldn't be it. That would have been too much. Makoto would have left her to sleep on the couch alone if she'd done that. Makoto wouldn't have. . . .

She wouldn't have smiled like that when Haru woke up in her lap.

Haru's eyes opened wide, and she put a hand over her mouth as some kind of clarity broke through the fuzziness in her head. It seemed too easy to think about it this way, but. . . .

Makoto could have moved at any time after Haru fell asleep. She'd passed out cold, and wouldn't have noticed if someone had put a pillow under her head. There were loose pillows on the couch, weren't there? Her head had hurt too much to notice.

But Makoto had stayed there, on the couch, with her. All night. Letting Haru use her lap as a pillow. After . . . she'd told Makoto she was soft, hadn't she? The word had stuck in her mind for days now, after Makoto had called her the same. She . . . she couldn't remember everything she'd said last night, not after they got to Sae's place.

But all the same, Makoto hadn't left. It could be that she was just being a good friend. Makoto was kind like that, even if she wouldn't be most peoples' first choice of who to use as a pillow.

Or it could be. . . .

Haru took a deep breath, then leaned back against the shower wall, letting the water run down her face. Did she dare hope? Did she have reason to hope? This wasn't a sign, not really, this was just Makoto being a good friend and not moving her when she was asleep.

No, this was Makoto letting Haru sleep on her when she could have done almost anything else, and smiling at her when she woke up, like Makoto was glad to have her there. That had to mean something, didn't it?

The hopeful part of Haru's mind kept shoving hard against the part that insisted Makoto's actions didn't mean anything, and Haru wasn't sure which one she wanted to win. There was a chance, however small, that Makoto's actions were more than just kindness, more than just being a friend.

And that meant. . . .

Haru slowly got to her feet, finished cleaning herself off, and turned off the shower. There was a chance. She needed to talk to Makoto about this, needed to tell the other girl how she felt. She had hope now, and maybe that was the one thing she truly needed.

Maybe she'd get her heart broken again. But maybe she wouldn't. And that 'maybe' was worth it.

She just needed to find the right time to ask.

Chapter Text

The day of the Destinyland visit came too soon and, somehow, nowhere near quickly enough.

They all planned to meet at the Shibuya station, for once, instead of at the diner; Ryuji was right about it being a good central location and they could get to the park easily enough from there. Makoto made her way there early, as usual, and considered how the day was going to go.

Things with Haru had been . . . different, since last weekend and all that happened with the aikido club and afterward. Something about Haru's mannerisms had subtly changed, but Makoto had noticed, and yet she couldn't pin down exactly what was different. Was the other woman feeling more relaxed, now that she'd spent some time with the aikido club and had a regular stress outlet again? Was there something else that had been bothering her that she'd worked through? Or had she found that she liked drinking and started doing it regularly?

Makoto chided herself for that last one, though she couldn't help smiling a little. That definitely didn't sound like Haru. But it was kind of a funny mental image. Even if Haru was a cuddly drunk, not a confident one.

She felt her cheeks heat at that thought, as well as the immediately following thoughts of cuddling Haru again. Makoto tried to focus on something else as she headed into the Shibuya station, so nobody asked what she'd been thinking about when she showed up blushing.

But cuddling Haru again did sound really good.

When she arrived, Ryuji and Tsuruko were already there, standing in front of a vending machine and looking like they were in the middle of a heated debate. As Makoto got closer, she realized they were arguing about soda flavors, and both were getting into it enough that people were starting to stare.

"Melon soda is for kids!"

"Melon soda is better than anything else in this damn machine!"

Makoto walked right up to them, stepped between them, and calmly bought a lime soda. She opened it and started drinking, eyeing them both.

The two of them stared at her for a moment, then both burst out laughing, and leaned against each other so they wouldn't fall down.

Ryuji was right, Makoto thought. They were so alike it was uncanny.

"Isn't it a little early for a lovers' quarrel?" Makoto asked. "Please tell me you're not going to be like this all day."

"Nah, that was just us messing around," Ryuji said, and Tsuruko slung an arm around his shoulders. "How you doing, Makoto?"

"Good," she said, then glanced around the station. "Have you heard from anyone else?"

"I dunno, I'm not in the group chat." Tsuruko grinned when Makoto looked at her. "But we're meeting this Yusuke guy there?"

"Yeah, he'll meet us at the gate," Ryuji said. He pulled out his phone and checked it, then shook his head. "No word, so looks like we're good to go soon as everyone's here."

Makoto looked around the station again, then waved when she saw Ann and Shiho heading toward them. Another glance, and she saw Haru coming from another direction. Haru had on one of her wide-brimmed hats, probably a wise idea since they'd be outside all day, and a look on her face that Makoto couldn't quite place.

She thought back to what she'd realized after talking with her sister. Today . . . today ought to be a good day to spend some time with Haru. After all, they were going to the park with two couples, as well as Yusuke. So she and Haru would probably pair up to go on the rides together. That would be a good start.

Everyone called out their greetings as they got closer, and soon, they all made their way through the weekend crowds and got onto the train that would take them to Destinyland. Makoto found herself crammed in against Haru, but the other woman didn't seem to mind, and Makoto thought she saw Haru's cheeks redden as they were forced to get very close.

It seemed a bit strange to be glad to see that, but something about it warmed Makoto's heart. Maybe she was right about how Haru felt about her. She . . . really hoped so.

They soon reached Destinyland, which looked much the same as before, all bright colors and fantastical places and for some reason even a few fireworks, though it wasn't even midday. Ryuji cheered as soon as they saw the front gates, and started rushing forward, Tsuruko right behind him. Ann yelled for him to slow down, and Makoto just shook her head.

They'd all grown up some, she knew that. But it seemed that some things would never change. And it really wouldn't be Ryuji without his moments of wild enthusiasm.

When Makoto and the others caught up with Ryuji, he'd found Yusuke. "What's up, man? Thanks for the invite, I love this place!"

"It's good to see you all," Yusuke said, his smile familiar and calm as he nodded. "Though much to my regret, I haven't had occasion to meet you two," he added, looking to Shiho and Tsuruko. He swept down into a dramatic bow. "I'm Yusuke, a long-time friend of all the others."

"Hi, I'm Shiho," she said, and Makoto wondered if she was as nervous as she sounded. Was she just like this around new people, or was it this place, or something else?

"Tsuruko." Tsuruko, on the other hand, stepped forward without pause. "Ryuji's told me a lot about you. You're an artist, yeah?"

"It's my life," Yusuke said, putting a hand to his chest. "Though I've been dabbling in other fields, painting remains my greatest love." He paused, seeming to collect himself. "Shall we go?"

Some things indeed would never change, Makoto thought. Perhaps Yusuke was one of them.

They headed into the park, and immediately had to not split off in five directions at once, because everyone said they wanted to go to a different part first. Makoto managed to guide the group toward a map, and they planned out a twisting route, so they could get to everything that everyone wanted to go on, without too much wandering back and forth. Tsuruko said something about having pegged Makoto as the organized type, and Makoto just nodded.

There were clearly parts of herself that hadn't changed as well.

Ride after ride took up most of their day, and just as Makoto had thought, she and Haru ended up together on most of them, with Yusuke along when the seats held more than two. Makoto let the rest of the group talk her into going through the haunted house, though she kept her eyes squeezed shut tight for most of that. But Haru clearly enjoyed it, pointing to things and saying they looked like shadows.

After that, the two of them and Yusuke ended up together on a spinning teacup ride, and even though they had to sit close, they had no chance to talk, because there was no way to have a conversation when everything was spinning. It didn't help that Yusuke needed help stumbling off of it once it was over.

"I think . . . a moment, please," Yusuke said as the seven of them walked out of the ride. He propped himself up against a post with a comical lantern on top of it, and held a hand to his forehead, slowly swaying.

"You going to be okay, Yusuke?" Ann asked. "Should we get some water?"

"I'll be . . . all right," Yusuke said. He took a deep breath, and stood up straight again, then looked back the way they'd come, his expression pinched. "Such a strange sensation. I'll have to impress that upon my memory for future works, because I'm not going on that again."

As they walked toward the next ride, Makoto heard Shiho murmur, "Is he like this all the time?"

"Yeah, that's just how he is," Ann said, and Makoto glanced back to see her smiling. "You get used to it. He's actually a really good guy."

They stopped for lunch some time after that, and had everyone grab something to share. Their table soon filled with food that was a little too expensive but worth it, Makoto supposed, as most of it was surprisingly good. She sat next to Haru, just in case, but the other woman only smiled when she looked at her.

"I wonder. . . ." Yusuke held his hands out before himself, forming a square with his fingers in a very familiar gesture, and pointed that frame at Ann and Shiho, then Ryuji and Tsuruko, and finally at Makoto and Haru. "A moment, please," he said, then pulled a pen out of his long sleeve and grabbed from the stack of napkins they'd put in the center of the table.

"You're going to draw – us?" Shiho asked, her eyes wide. "I didn't – I don't think anyone's ever drawn me before."

"I posed for my art class, back in high school," Tsuruko said. "The teacher said I'd be good for it because I'm tall." She paused. "I also got to kick a guy who told me to pose naked."

"Damn right you did," Ryuji said, looking very proud.

"Have you ever thought about modeling, Tsuruko?" Ann asked.

Tsuruko tilted her head, then shrugged. "I think someone asked me about it when I was in junior high? I don't know. I don't really like having my picture taken, unless it's with friends or whatever. I just deal with it when it's for the team or stuff like that."

"I can't yet speak for photography, as I've never tried that," Yusuke said, then raised his head from where he'd been drawing on the napkins. "But you all make excellent subjects." With a flourish, he handed out the napkins, setting one in front of each pair.

"Whoa!" Ryuji held up the napkin with a picture of him and Tsuruko, all done in hard lines and grim expressions, their clothing ridiculous but utterly suiting them. Next to him, Tsuruko let out a low whistle. "You made us look like JoJo characters, that's awesome!"

"I'm keeping this," Tsuruko said. "Ryuji didn't tell me you were that damn good."

Next to them, Ann held up the napkin where Yusuke had drawn her and Shiho in fancy outfits, standing shoulder to shoulder and posing while thrusting wands into the air. There was something delightfully cute and cartoonish about it, and somehow it seemed to fit the two of them perfectly.

"Oh, you made us magical girls," Shiho said, and giggled as she leaned against Ann. "That is so cute!"

"Thank you, Yusuke," Ann said, smiling brightly. "I'm going to frame this when we get home."

Makoto looked down at the napkin in front of her and Haru, and her heart pounded hard as her cheeks grew warm again. Yusuke had drawn them facing each other, holding hands, their faces tilted at an angle that suggested a kiss was imminent. It was all done in soft lines and gentle shading, and Makoto wondered for a moment how he'd managed to do that on a napkin before it hit her that Yusuke had chosen to draw her and Haru like that when everyone else at the table was part of a couple.

Did he see something she didn't? Did the rest of the table see them like this? They weren't all waiting for her and Haru to get together, were they? She knew she should say something, but the thought was just too much.

She had wondered if people would look at her and Haru and think they were a couple. Clearly, some people would.

"Yusuke, this is beautiful," Haru said, breaking the silence before it could get awkward. "I don't think I've ever been drawn before. I love it," she added, her cheeks pink as she smiled.

"Thank you all," Yusuke said, sounding proud of himself. He deserved to be, Makoto thought. "I've been experimenting with other mediums, as well as unfamiliar styles." He tapped his pen against his chin, looking thoughtful. "Though I don't think I'll do much work with cheap napkins in the future."

"It is lovely," Makoto said. She looked at Haru. "Do you want to keep it, or should I?"

"I think I'll hold onto it." For just a moment, Haru looked sad, but it passed quickly.

What was that, Makoto thought. She had to know, but she couldn't ask, not now. There was still more of the park to cover, and the day was far from over.

The rest of the day passed quickly, and they saved the log ride for last, just in case they got too wet, because nobody wanted to keep going on rides if they got soaked. Makoto paired herself with Haru for that, of course, both because they'd been riding together all day and because the log ride meant one of the riders pretty much sat in the other's lap. As Haru sat down, Makoto quietly hoped she wouldn't look back, because there was no way to hide how red her face had become. Again.

She had wanted to cuddle Haru again. Did this count? She didn't really think it did.

The ride was amusing enough, if kind of childish, and Makoto tried very hard not to think about how close Haru was to her. But there was no escaping it. Neither of them said much through the ride, and Makoto couldn't tell what Haru was thinking. Some part of her wanted Haru to lean back against her, but it wasn't like she could ask for that. And right as she was trying to think of something to say, their log turned a bend, and suddenly everyone was yelling as they barreled down a steep drop.

After the ride, they walked through a place where they could see the pictures that had been taken right as they dropped. Makoto laughed when she first saw their pictures, as did the others. Ann and Shiho were clutching onto each other, and both were screaming. Ryuji and Tsuruko had their arms raised, and looked to be yelling, which fit them perfectly. Yusuke had his arms thrown wide and his head tilted back, somehow managing to strike a dramatic pose at the right moment.

And Haru . . . she was holding her hat on with one hand, but the other was over Makoto's, because Makoto had wrapped her arm around Haru's waist without even realizing it. Both of them had their eyes clenched shut and were screaming, but Makoto felt her mood grow dim as she looked at the picture.

It was a small thing. But she'd held hands with Haru without even realizing it. And . . . and if they were going to do that, she wanted to know she was doing it. And she did want to do that, didn't she.

When the day was over, they piled onto the train again, and all the others eventually got off at their stops, saying goodbye and asking when they could meet at the diner again, until it was just Makoto and Haru. Once they were alone, or as alone as they could be in the train car, Haru let out a long sigh.

"That was quite a day, wasn't it?" she asked. "I'm exhausted."

"Me too," Makoto said. "I'm glad we don't have aikido club today. I wouldn't even be able to make it through the warm-ups."

"But it was good to be with everyone like that, wasn't it," Haru said, looking up at her and smiling softly. "I've missed it."

Makoto nodded. When they reached their stop, she kept chatting, making sure they stayed together until they reached their dorm. It wasn't a long walk from the station, and Haru didn't seem like she had anywhere else to be, so Makoto kept going, and as they drew closer to the dorm, her heart started pounding.

She was really going to do this, wasn't she.

"Mako-chan?"

"Hmm?" Makoto asked, wondering how she could get lost in thought in the middle of a conversation.

"Are you all right?" Haru peered at her, concern in her eyes. "You look a little red."

Makoto forced a chuckle. "I probably just got too much sun today," she managed.

Haru's look didn't change. "Maybe," she said.

Makoto swallowed hard. Did . . . did Haru suspect something?

When they reached the dorm, Makoto kept the conversation going, and she turned toward her room, giving no sign that Haru shouldn't come with her. Haru walked alongside her, and it seemed like she wasn't thinking about going back to her room either, as they soon reached Makoto's door.

Makoto paused in front of her door. She glanced back and forth. Nobody else was around. This was it. She . . . she had to do this.

"Makoto?" Haru asked. "Is something wrong?"

Makoto turned and put her back to the door, then slowly reached out and took Haru's hand.

"Nothing's wrong," she said, her voice shaky, and she took a deep breath to get it under control. "At least, nothing's wrong now. But I've been trying to figure something out, for a while. Something about myself. Something I didn't expect. I – I've been so unsure about it, but I've reached a point where I have to know."

"Mako-chan," Haru whispered. Her face was turning red.

"Or maybe, it's something I know about myself," Makoto continued, standing up straighter. She gave Haru's hand a squeeze. "But not about you."

Haru's eyes opened wide, and she put her free hand to her mouth.

Makoto smiled, and before she could think about it any further, she asked, "Haru Okumura, will you go on a date with me?"

Chapter Text

Chapter 11: Butterfly Kiss

Haru's heart pounded in her ears as the whole world seemed to stop.

This had to be a dream, didn't it. She'd fallen out of one of the rides at Destinyland and hit her head and she'd dreamed the rest of the day, because that was the only way things could have possibly ended like this.

But no. This had to be real. Because Makoto was standing in front of her, holding her hand, and had just asked her out on a date, and it was what Haru had been dreaming of for so long – longer than she'd even known, so many years without even realizing what she wanted – and it was real, it had to be real.

And she still had to give her an answer.

Slowly, Haru raised Makoto's hand to her lips, closed her eyes, and gently kissed the back of it. When she opened her eyes, she couldn't remember the last time she'd ever seen Makoto look so surprised.

"I've been thinking about this for a long time," Haru said, her voice low and whispery, since there was no way she could be anything but quiet right now. If she tried to speak like she usually did, everything would come out at once, and the last thing she wanted to do right now was overwhelm Makoto and make her change her mind. "Maybe . . . maybe longer than I ever would have guessed. Maybe since the day I met you."

"Really?" Makoto whispered, still looking so surprised.

"I didn't know," Haru said. "I couldn't. It was . . . there was so much happening back then. I remember meeting you, and there was something special about you, I could see that. I think some part of me saw you . . . differently than I'd seen anyone else." She smiled. "Maybe that's why I wanted to call you Mako-chan."

Makoto nodded, her lips gently parted.

"I didn't realize it was there – I didn't ever think of you any differently than the rest of our friends," Haru continued. "But looking back . . . I think there was something, even if I didn't know it." She squeezed Makoto's hand. "Do you remember how I usually sat up front with you, back when we had our road trip?"

"Of course," Makoto said.

"I wanted to be close to you," Haru breathed. "Even if I didn't have words for it. Even if I didn't think anything about us being together. But when. . . ."

She trailed off, and looked away. This part seemed a little silly, somehow, as though one small thing could have changed everything for her. Maybe for both of them. But she had to say it, didn't she?

"When Ann told us she was dating Shiho," Haru said, and watched a smile break out on Makoto's face. "Something about that . . . it made me realize there was something in me that I'd never known. And whenever I thought about you, it just got stronger."

"I think I felt the same way," Makoto said. She shifted her hand in Haru's, twining their fingers together. "Something about hearing Ann say that made me see everything differently. I started looking at all kinds of people, and wondering if they were couples, when I hadn't before. And when you asked me about getting coffee, after aikido club, I started wondering that about you and me."

Haru stared at Makoto, her eyes slowly growing wide. All this time, Makoto had been wondering about the same thing she had? And she'd never said a word, not until she decided to do something about it? But of course Makoto had decided to take the initiative once she'd figured things out for herself; that seemed like exactly how she'd approach this. Haru liked that about her.

Haru liked a lot of things about her, and knew she could grow very used to holding the other girl's hand in hers.

"So . . . you've been thinking about this since then too," Haru said. A tremendous sense of relief washed over her as she said it aloud. "I wish I'd known. We could have. . . ."

"I wasn't ready to talk about it," Makoto said. "Not until I knew for sure about myself." She definitely sounded like she understood herself, or at least she seemed a lot more confident than Haru had felt at any time during this entire mess.

"I see," Haru said. "I . . . oh, I haven't given you an answer, have I." She laughed, feeling more than a little silly now, and wrapped her other hand around Makoto's. "Yes, Makoto, I'll go on a date with you."

"I didn't think you were the type to keep me waiting like that," Makoto said, her eyes falling half-closed, and there was something sly about her smile, something Haru had never seen before. She liked that too.

"I'm sorry, but this is a lot all at once!" Haru let out a deep breath, and tried not to falter where she stood. It felt like all the tension she'd been building up about this over the past month or so had all poured out of her at once, and it left her feeling all wobbly inside. "Where would you like to go?"

Makoto started to say something, then paused. "I didn't think that far ahead," she admitted, and Haru laughed. "All I could think about was whether or not this was something we both wanted. I didn't really think about what I'd do if you said yes." She paused, and looked aside. "Or if you said no."

"Mako-chan," Haru said quietly, squeezing Makoto's hand again. "There's no way I would have said no."

"Same for me." Makoto gave her a look that seemed somehow sheepish. How many new faces of Makoto was she going to see in the same evening? "I wasn't really sure, not truly, until my sister asked me what I'd say if you asked me out. And when the only thing I could say was yes, I knew I had to ask you."

It was almost too analytic to be romantic, but again, that seemed exactly like how Makoto would handle this. And Haru made a mental note to thank Sae for helping Makoto get this far. "Well, here we are. You asked and I said yes." She smiled up at Makoto, unwilling to let go of her hand just yet. "Where should we go?"

"I honestly don't know," Makoto said. "I'm sure this sounds like a cliche, but I've never been on an actual date before."

"Neither have I, not a real one," Haru said. "Sugimura . . . his idea of taking me on a date was going somewhere expensive and being rude to whoever served us." She sighed. "But that's not what I want to do. How about . . . we go to the aquarium?"

Makoto tilted her head, and it looked like she was considering. "I don't think I've ever been there."

"I know it's so typical for a date, but it's a lovely place, and there's a coffee shop nearby that's very good, if . . . if we want to go, afterward." Haru wasn't sure if she should sound too hopeful or not. It was only a first date. Anything could go wrong. She felt the first hints of dread creeping in.

What if, after all this, things didn't work out?

"That sounds good," Makoto said, and Haru tried once again not to sag with relief. "When are you free?"

"Oh, no." Haru thought over her schedule for the next week. "I'm too busy this week. I wish we'd done this sooner, so we could have gone out this weekend."

Makoto smiled. "Destinyland didn't count?"

"Mako-chan, you can't ask me out afterward and call it a date," Haru said, then giggled. It was good to see Makoto laugh too. "But I'm sorry. I don't think I'm free until next Saturday. I'm not even sure if I'll make it to aikido club next week."

"I see," Makoto said, then nodded. "Next Saturday, then. If I don't see you, I'll call you this week, and we can set a time to meet."

"I . . . yes, we can do that," Haru said, her heart fluttering in her chest. She gave Makoto's hand another squeeze, then let it go slowly, hoping she hadn't come on too strong but also wondering if she could just say it wasn't too late and they could go out right now.

But no. They'd been out with friends all day, and she had to admit she was tired, even if she felt more awake right now than she had in a long, long time. So she stepped back, not wanting to look away quite yet, and smiled at Makoto, feeling her cheeks grow warm as she did.

"I'll see you Saturday, Mako-chan."

Haru returned to her dorm room, closed the door behind her, leaned up against it and slid down to the floor, her heart still pounding. She replayed the past few minutes over and over in her mind, thinking over everything she and Makoto had said, but always coming back to that one crystal clear moment.

Makoto had asked her out.

It was hard to believe this was happening. It was almost harder to believe that she'd had the courage to say yes. Not that she could have said no, she knew that, but she'd talked herself out of saying what she truly felt over and over when she was younger. And today would have been a horrible time for that old habit to come back.

But it hadn't. Maybe it wasn't as dramatic as the shows she'd seen, but she and Makoto had confessed their feelings to each other. And now they had a date.

An actual date. With someone she wanted to be with. It almost didn't seem real.

She held her hands together, remembering how it had felt to hold Makoto's. Being excited about holding hands seemed a little childish, but she let herself dwell on it for a long moment, until she realized she was smiling so hard her face was starting to ache. She had a date with Makoto. She was going to be happy about this from now until the moment it started. And once it started. . . .

Well, she had no idea how it would actually go. But she couldn't wait to find out.

And she also had a promise to keep. Haru pulled out her phone and sent a single line of text to Futaba.

HARU: I have a date.

Her phone rang so quickly she almost dropped it, and Futaba's excited voice barreled out of it as soon as she answered the call.

"Haru? Haru! You did it? Who is it! Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

Haru laughed, tilting her head back against the door, feeling a strange kind of relief sweep through her as she finally started to accept that she'd done it, she'd opened up about her feelings and had them returned. How come nobody had ever told her this felt so good?

"Hello, Futaba," she said, still laughing. "I promised you I'd tell you if anything happened, so here I am."

"I want a name, Haru," Futaba said, her voice going a bit grumbly. "I spent all day doing a mock exam when I wanted to be at Destinyland so I'm full of nerves and I was playing a shooter to burn it off and then I got your text and now I want to know, I need to know, please!"

Haru sighed. "I'm not sure if I can say," she said. "I don't know how this is going to work out, and if it doesn't, I don't want . . . anyone to think badly about it-"

"It's Makoto, huh?"

Haru froze, her mouth half-open. She knew Futaba was brilliant, but–

"How did you know?" she whispered.

Futaba laughed, loud and triumphant. Haru supposed it was good someone was enjoying this; she hadn't thought about what she or anyone else would do about it if things didn't go well between her and Makoto. Couples breaking up was the kind of thing that destroyed friend groups, wasn't it? Haru didn't want to cause that, and she knew Makoto wouldn't want to either, but. . . .

"I figured from what Ann told me, about how Makoto was all curious about how she and Shiho got together. You know how Queen is, she's got to think about everything and analyze it before she does anything."

Haru nodded, though she knew Futaba couldn't see her. She'd thought much the same about the way Makoto handled things, and she'd seen just a few minutes ago how right Futaba was. But Haru knew she wouldn't have put it all together like that if she'd been on the outside of all this.

"So I figured she was also thinking about stuff, same as you, and that happened not too long after you first told me you were wondering about yourself, so if I've got two friends doing the same kind of questioning, hey, what're the odds they're into each other?"

"I suppose that's true," Haru said. She could almost see Futaba's smirk. The girl really was something. "But yes, that's mostly it. She asked me out after Destinyland today."

"Still wish I could have gone to that," Futaba muttered. "Would have been fun to see everyone and I miss the rides. And I bet I could have got you and Makoto together by the end of the day."

Haru paused. "We did that ourselves."

"Yeah, but it's more fun if I get to see it," Futaba said.

"Oh, I wouldn't have done anything with the others around," Haru said, and shook her head at the idea. This was still so much to deal with, even if she almost felt like she was floating. There was no way she could have handled any of this with anyone else watching her.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Makoto seems like she'd keep it quiet too." Futaba made a 'hmm' sound, then almost yelled, "But! You've got a date! Where are you going? And you're telling me everything afterward, right?"

Haru could only laugh again. Futaba really did have way too much energy sometimes. "We do have a date," she said, "though it's not until next Saturday. And we're going to the aquarium."

There was silence for a moment, then Futaba said, "That's so typical. It's like you're in a romance manga or something."

Yusuke had drawn them like they were in one, Haru thought. She'd have to save that napkin. Maybe frame it, like Ann said, as a memento of today. "I think it's a good place for this," she said. "And there's a coffee shop nearby."

"Not as good as LeBlanc."

"You . . . have you been there?" Haru asked. "I've been there, and I thought it was good."

"Nah, but nothing's as good as LeBlanc," Futaba said, sounding utterly confident. "But it's not like that'll ruin your date."

Something occurred to Haru all of a sudden, and an unwelcome chill went through her. "Futaba, please don't tell the others about this. I think . . . we need to see how it goes, and then decide how to . . . tell everyone."

Futaba made a muttering sound. "It's going to be real hard not telling Ann, but I think I can do it," she said. "She'll be real happy for you two. Like, crazy happy. She's been so happy with Shiho, it's almost annoying."

Haru bowed her head and smiled. There was something so comforting about knowing her friends would support her and be happy for her, even if this would be a surprise to most of them. It had been plenty of a surprise for her and Makoto, that was for sure.

"I'm happy for you too," Futaba added.

"Thank you," Haru said. "That helps a lot." She pushed herself to her feet, leaning against the door all the way up. "But I need to go, it's been a very long day and I need some sleep."

"Okay. But you better tell me everything about the date!"

Haru just smiled. "There's some things I have to keep private," she said. "Goodnight, Futaba."

Chapter Text

Makoto arrived early, and waited outside the aquarium.

She wasn't usually one to worry about what people around her would think of her, or even if they noticed her at all. But something about clearly waiting for someone made her wonder if anyone walking past could tell what she was waiting for. The aquarium was a popular place for dates, but people wouldn't just assume that, would they?

There was no way to tell. But somehow, today, it felt like everyone was watching.

It didn't help that she'd dressed a little nicer than usual – nothing too fancy, just something to show that today was important to her. But she'd made it a point to wear the short black jacket she'd worn for so much of their road trip across Japan last year. That had been a chaotic time, but it was also a long stretch of good memories, and looking back, she knew how much it meant to her. Maybe it meant even more now, since she knew why Haru had spent so much of that trip up front, riding along with her.

It would have been nice if she could have the same kind of feelings about when Haru drove. But was still doing her best to forget about that.

Makoto remembered what Haru had said last weekend, about how she'd always wanted to be close to her, even if Haru hadn't really know why. Even if neither of them had known why – even if, Makoto admitted to herself, she never would have thought of it. Though she supposed she'd never been much of a romantic. Even the one time she'd lobbed a clue at Ren, he'd either dodged it or completely missed it, she still wasn't sure.

But all it had taken was the subtle suggestion that one time after aikido club, that moment that made her wonder if Haru was interested in her, for Makoto to start wondering if she could feel that way too.

She clasped her hands before herself, then looked around again. Still no Haru. She released her hands, and patted them on her pants, to make sure they weren't sweaty. Was everyone this nervous before a first date? Even when it was someone she'd known for years? That could, of course, make it worse; she'd heard nightmare stories of what could happen when people dated inside their friend group.

This was new to both of them. There was always the chance things could go wrong. But she was determined to do her best to keep that from happening today. Makoto took a deep breath to steady herself, and let out a quiet sigh.

This was just . . . two friends on a date. It was going to be all right.

"Mako-chan!"

Makoto looked up, and broke into a relieved smile as Haru hurried up to her. "Hello, Haru," she said. The other woman was wearing a dark blue dress that Makoto hadn't seen before, along with one of her hats with a wider brim. "It's good to see you."

"You too," Haru said. Her cheeks were already pink. She held out one hand, and said, "This is for you."

Makoto looked at what Haru held, and blushed. "Th-thank you," she said, and took a small yellow lily from her, then tucked the stem through a buttonhole on her jacket.

Maybe, Makoto thought, she was worrying too much. Maybe they were going to be okay. She smiled, and held her hand out toward the aquarium.

"Shall we?"

The two of them walked close together as they headed inside, and a dim coolness washed over Makoto, bringing with it an odd sense of calm. Everything was so . . . blue. She looked around, and saw several halls leading to different exhibits. One hall was much darker than the others, and a sign said it led to a special exhibit of bioluminescent fish. A sudden chill ran down her spine, ruining the place's calming effect, and Makoto turned to Haru.

"Where do you want to go first?"

"It's been a while since I was here, so I'm not sure what's the same," Haru said. "Shall we go by the coral reef first?"

Makoto nodded, and they headed in.

The sense of calmness returned once they were farther inside, and Makoto lost herself for a moment in the quiet ambience of the place, watching all kinds of fish go by against reefs and kelp and who knew what else, with Haru at her side.

"I remember learning about this when I was young," Makoto said, watching some tiny bright-colored fish swim through anemones' tentacles. "It feels like forever ago, but I wanted to go swimming with fish like that."

"Please don't jump in," Haru said, then smiled when Makoto looked at her.

"Haru, I'm not going to do that," Makoto said, her voice flat.

It took Makoto some time to realize it, but it wasn't just the place that helped her feel so calm. It was just . . . being with Haru. Somehow, now that they were here, together, on a date, all the wondering and considering and analyzing and reconsidering she'd done over the past few weeks didn't seem to matter so much. Knowing that Haru did have feelings for her must be a large part of that, she thought. Something as confusing as what she'd been through . . . trying to figure herself out hadn't been easy. Knowing that Haru felt the same way, and knowing it had worked out in the best way, helped a lot.

But more than anything, it was just the two of them, spending time together. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they just looked in silence, sometimes they pulled away from a tank all of a sudden when an octopus tried to attack them through the glass. But the longer they spent together, the more Makoto felt herself relax, like this was the most natural thing in the world.

For both of them.

Some time later, they had circled through all the exhibits and made their way back to the front of the aquarium, and Haru started leading them toward the darkened hall. Makoto fought to keep herself from pulling away. Did they really have to go down that one?

"Ooh, I want to see these," Haru said, then paused when Makoto didn't keep up with her. She looked back, and frowned. "Mako-chan?"

"I'm . . . not sure about that one," Makoto said, and looked away. It seemed ridiculous, to be afraid of dark places like that, but she didn't want to ruin the date over it. She could make it through, couldn't she?

"Oh, that's right," Haru said, walking up next to her. "Ren told me about what happened, back when you all were trying to get Futaba to show herself."

"He didn't have to tell you that," Makoto muttered, still looking away.

Then, Makoto felt Haru's hand clasp her own. "I'd really like to see it," she said. "I'll hold your hand if you're afraid. But we don't have go if you don't want to."

Makoto looked down at their hands. Maybe it was a little silly to be happy about that. But at least she hadn't missed holding hands this time. And maybe she'd be able to get through the darkness, if Haru was there with her. "I think I'll be okay," she said. "Just don't let go, all right?"

"I won't until you tell me to," Haru said, sounding very serious.

Slowly, they walked into the darkened hallway. Dim blue lights along the floor showed a path that curved to the right, and Makoto squeezed Haru's hand. It really was way too dark in here. They could have at least left some of the ceiling lights on, or–

The two of them turned a corner, and found themselves in a room full of glowing circles and spots and stripes.

More small lights outlined the tanks on the floor, but other than that, the room was only lit by the glowing fish. Bright blue and yellow-green shined from inside the tanks, flitting back and forth in the water, and Makoto's eyes opened wide. Some part of her still wanted to run away, but there was something strangely beautiful about it all.

They stopped by one of the tanks, and as the glowing fish swam by, Makoto caught Haru's face in their light, just barely enough to see the reflection in her eyes. She looked absolutely fascinated, her eyes wide, a wonder on her face that Makoto had never seen before.

And that, Makoto thought, was worth the trip through the dark.

Makoto did start to cling to her more as they moved around the room. As much as she liked seeing Haru's fascination with the glowing fish, the longer she was in here, the more she felt the darkness closing in. By the time they made their way out of the room, she was almost clinging to the other woman's side.

Though Haru didn't seem to mind at all. And there was something about being so close to her that felt really good. Just . . . they would have to do that under very, very different circumstances the next time.

"I would have guided you out of there if you'd wanted to close your eyes, Mako-chan," Haru said as they headed out, a little bit of a tease in her voice.

Makoto sighed. "That wouldn't have been necessary," she said, and Haru giggled. "What's next?"

"Ooh, they have a touch tank!" Haru dragged her toward a low tank with a reef inside it, with dozens of fish and some small manta rays and–

Makoto blinked. That starfish didn't have a giant eye on its back. She'd only imagined it. All the same, some of the creatures in the touch tank reminded her too much of shadows. She touched a few of them, then did her best to enjoy Haru's enthusiasm about the whole thing.

It was late afternoon, almost evening, when they returned to the dorm. Haru walked her back to her room, and they stopped outside her door, in a way that reminded Makoto very much of what had happened last week. It was amazing how much could change in only a few days, or a few weeks.

Haru stood facing her, and took both of Makoto's hands in her own. She looked up at her, smiling, her cheeks quite red. "I had a very good time today, Makoto," she said, and gave her hands a squeeze. "And I'd like to do this again."

"So it's over?" Makoto asked, the words out before she could think about them. The day had gone on for so long and yet, now it felt like they'd hardly had any time together. "I . . . I know how this sounds, but I don't want it to end so soon."

Why was her heart suddenly so restless? It wasn't like she'd have to wait for long to see Haru again. They lived a minute or two away from each other. But they were both here right now. Did it really have to–

Haru leaned forward, and put one hand on Makoto's cheek. Makoto felt herself blush fiercely. Was Haru going to kiss her? Her heart started pounding. She didn't know if she wanted that yet. She did. Did she?

But Haru only whispered, "Then we'll do this again sometime, won't we?"

"Yes," Makoto whispered.

Haru lowered her hand, fingertips trailing down Makoto's cheek, and smiled. "See you soon, Mako-chan," she said, and walked away.

Haru returned to her dorm room, closed the door, then turned and leaned against it and wrapped her arms around herself. Her heart felt like it was going to burst. She laughed, then wiped at her eyes. What a lovely day. What a lovely, wonderful day.

And it wouldn't be the last, she was sure of that . . . it felt like things had gone well, at least. Neither of them had any of the awkward moments she'd been dreading, and she'd been able to hold Makoto's hand for a long while, and . . . and she just wanted to be back with her, already, even if they'd only been apart for a few minutes.

That might be too much, though. It had taken them both so long to finally come to terms with what they were feeling, and to understand this was something they both wanted. There was no need to rush things.

Haru took a deep breath, and tried to clear her head. There was still so much she had to do. And it was a few hours before she had to go to bed. She could still get some work done.

She sat at her desk and tried to study, and every picture blurred until it became a fish, every sentence she read twisted around until it was something Makoto had said or something that reminded Haru of her, every thing she tried to think about slowly turned into ideas for their next date. How was she supposed to get anything done like this? If she had to be losing focus, at least it was for a good reason, but she had things to do–

Her phone buzzed.

Haru blinked at it. There was a message from Makoto. She picked her phone up so quickly she nearly dropped it, and looked at the screen.

MAKOTO: I miss you.

Haru's heart thudded hard in her chest. She wrapped both hands around her phone, and texted back very carefully, so she wouldn't drop it.

HARU: I've been trying to study, and I can't. I'm just thinking about you and everything we did today. What am I supposed to do?

It sounded . . . a little sad, she thought once she'd sent it. But she had to be honest about her feelings. And Makoto had started this.

Her phone buzzed again.

MAKOTO: I know how this must sound, but: can we have our second date now?

MAKOTO: Please?

Haru let out a laugh filled with relief and clutched her phone to her chest like some kind of love letter. This was . . . the best thing she could have heard right now. Did she have work to do? Yes. Did it matter as much as this?

No. No, it did not.

HARU: Would you like me to come over?

MAKOTO: If that's all right with you, yes, I would.

HARU: I can be at your room in . . . give me about twenty minutes. There's something I want to do first.

Nearly half an hour later, Haru knocked on Makoto's door. When Makoto answered the door, she'd changed into more causal clothes, which was just fine; Haru had done the same before going out again. Haru held up a pink and white box, and smiled.

"Good evening, Mako-chan. May I come in?"

"Please, come in," Makoto said, and stepped back as Haru stepped inside. "What's in the box?"

"These are from one of my favorite bakeries around here," Haru said, and handed the box to Makoto. "They only had a few cupcakes, this late in the day, but I wanted to take you there on our second date. I . . . I think this will be just as good."

Makoto set the box on her desk, then turned around and pulled Haru into a sudden, tight hug. Haru gasped, her heart speeding up all at once as Makoto held her close. She put her arms around Makoto without a second thought, and Makoto let out a soft noise that just made Haru want to hold her even closer.

Oh. Oh, she'd wanted to do this all day.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you," Makoto murmured, her voice near Haru's ear. "I've never had to deal with this before. I don't know what to do."

Haru moved her hands up Makoto's back, trying to pull her in a little more. "I know I fall too hard, too fast," she confessed. "But I couldn't stop thinking about you either. I . . . I've wanted to do this for so long, even if I didn't know it."

Makoto pulled back just a bit, and Haru resisted the urge to pull her back in, not wanting the embrace to end. The look Makoto gave her was serious, which was nothing new, but there was an emotion in her eyes Haru had never seen before. Haru stroked her cheek again, and Makoto leaned into her touch, then reached up and ran her hand over Haru's hair, gently tangling her fingers in Haru's curls. A shiver went all through Haru, and she let out a long sigh.

"But if we're going to be like this," Haru said, slowly smiling, "I think the wait has all been worth it."

"You really think so?" Makoto asked. "I'm – I'm not used to doubting myself. Especially not after everything we've been through. But this is so new to me. I just spent weeks with no way to know how you felt, and now I'm just – feeling-"

Haru put a finger to Makoto's lips. "I think I know a way to be sure," she whispered. "Can I kiss you?"

Makoto's eyes widened, and Haru swore she could feel the other girl's heartbeat, as close as they were to each other. But Makoto whispered, "Yes."

Haru returned her hand to Makoto's cheek, and slowly leaned in, and felt Makoto lean down toward her, and when their lips met, a spark raced through her like nothing else she'd ever felt. Their kiss was gentle, and all too brief, but something in Haru told her not to push too hard.

This might be the first time for both of them.

When Haru slowly pulled away, she caught Makoto's gaze and held it, watching as other girl's eyes opened like she was waking up from a long dream. Makoto looked dizzy, her face fully red, and then she took hold of both Haru's cheeks and kissed her again, harder this time. Haru kissed her back with everything she had, years of feelings she'd never truly known all coming out at once, and she heard a soft moan come from Makoto's throat before they both were forced to break the kiss and catch their breath.

Haru watched Makoto recover, wondering if she looked as dazed as Makoto did. "Mako-chan?" she whispered, her voice wavering.

Makoto's smile was sweet, and knowing, with all her doubt gone, the confidence Haru knew so well returned to her face. "I think we're going to be just fine," she said, and pulled Haru close again.

Chapter Text

Makoto and Haru walked into the diner at Shibuya, and headed for the largest table. They needed to make sure they got it today – for the first time since they'd started gathering here, everyone was able to make it.

Today, the two of them had agreed, would be a good day to let all the others know.

They seated themselves at the booth, and Haru leaned on her, resting her head on Makoto's shoulder. Makoto let out a quiet sigh at the other woman's warmth, her calming presence, and the feeling of them just letting themselves be close to each other.

It hadn't even been a week since their first and second dates. But being together had felt so natural – they'd made it a point to see each other more, and walk together between classes when they could. For the first time, Makoto actually knew Haru's class schedule, and that made her wonder how they hadn't planned for that since they first started attending the same university.

But they could make up for lost time now, couldn't they.

There was a sudden burst of noise from the front of the diner, and Makoto looked, then nudged Haru. "They're here."

"Who is?" Haru asked, raising her head.

"Everyone."

Somehow, all of their friends had arrived at once, in one giant chattering cluster. They made enough noise to draw attention from the whole restaurant as they made their way back to Haru and Makoto's booth. Futaba noticed them first, and gave Makoto a wicked grin; Haru had told her about how she'd talked to Futaba from the start, and it wouldn't be the first time she'd known about one of them dating someone before the others did.

How Futaba still managed to play the navigator's role despite them not being in the Metaverse for so long, Makoto had no idea.

"Hey, look who got here first," Ryuji said, his arm around Tsuruko's waist as they walked toward the table. "Been almost two weeks, how you two doing?"

"We're doing well," Makoto said, trying not to look like she was hiding something. Which she knew she was terrible at. Hopefully Ryuji wouldn't catch on yet.

"It's been quite some time since I've been here," Yusuke said, looking around. "The aesthetic of this place is . . . interesting, but lacking something essential."

"Yeah, but the food's good, and that's all that matters." Tsuruko slid into the booth across from Makoto and Haru, Ryuji right next to her, and Futaba and Yusuke joined them on that side.

"They could have a bigger dessert menu, though I'm not complaining too much," Ann said. She and Shiho slid into the booth next to Makoto and Haru, and as soon as Ann looked at them, her eyes opened wide. She gasped, "You two-"

"Seem real close," Tsuruko interrupted, then nudged Ryuji. "They seem really close to you, Ryu-chan?"

"I mean, yeah, we've all known each other for years," Ryuji said. He glanced at Makoto and Haru, then shrugged.

"That's a one on your perception check, Ryuji," Futaba said, then cackled.

Ryuji blinked at her. "What?"

Makoto glanced at Haru, who smiled, then nodded. Might as well tell them now.

The two of them raised their clasped hands from under the table, and placed them on the table for everyone to see. Ryuji's eyes looked like they were going to fall out of his head, and Yusuke blinked, clearly surprised, though he pulled back after just a moment and held up his hands, framing the two of them like he did so many things. Futaba just looked smug. Tsuruko pumped a fist, and said, "That's so cool!"

"I can't believe it, you two?" Ann asked, looking utterly shocked. "I never would have guessed."

"That's not completely true," Shiho said, then leaned forward and gave Haru a devious look. "She asked me if I thought you liked girls, Haru."

Ann flushed bright red. "You didn't have to tell them that!"

"It took us a little time to figure things out," Makoto said.

"Especially me," Haru added. "But . . . that's a long story, and I don't need to tell it here."

"But how did this happen?" Ann asked, still looking bewildered. "Like, how did you two get together?"

"Actually," Makoto said, "it all started when you told us you were with Shiho. . . ."