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It was a bad idea from the beginning.
What the hell was Feferi thinking, asking the mustardblood to join you on your shopping trip? Did she want him to carry your bags? As if. That at least would make him useful, it’s no big deal for him anyway. But Sollux is just following the two of you around, looking perpetually annoyed, making sarcastic quips about something or the other here and there. Actually you’re surprised it’s not worse. What the hell was he thinking, agreeing to this?
Oh no, you know what he was thinking. Foiling any attempts at you ever having any kind of good time with Feferi, is what.
She isn’t big on spending much money, herself, but she does like to walk around town or the mall, to look at cute things.
And it could have been so nice, were it not for the constant grating presence of that walking - floating - catastrophe of pathetic and impertinent.
Ugh, just try to ignore him.
Easier said than done when he sidles up to you while you’re looking through a clothes rack full of shirts trying to find one that doesn’t look ass. You miss being rich. It was nice getting to have your clothes tailor-made for you.
Feferi is just on the other side from you, and you know Sollux is going to try to stir some shit.
“Sup fishface,” he says like he’s poking a hornet’s nest with absolute glee. “Need help putting your outfit together?”
You give him a scathing glare, lip drawn up in disgust. “My outfit for what, the socially inept dimwit ball? Oh that’s right, I wasn’t invited. Sorry, you’re gonna have to go by yourself.”
His face splits into a broad grin, as if the score weren’t Ampora 1, Captor 0.
“Are you seriously still trying to get her into a quadrant with you,” he says so low that only you can hear it.
Rolling your eyes, you sigh. “I’d prefer if you made an ass a yourself somewhere else, cause I already know you are one, pissblood.”
“Eridan!” Feferi scolds you.
“He started it,” you hiss.
Sollux snorts. “I couldn’t possibly have started it any more than he did by existing.”
“You are such wigglers, both of you,” Feferi says, not even bothering to look up from browsing the clothes on the rack. “Stop arguing and be nice!”
“Yeah, you heard her, you gotta be nice to me, fishface,” Sollux taunts you.
The shitty smirk on his face makes you want to choke him until he passes out.
He saves himself from that fate by walking somewhere else, hands in his pockets, and your eyes follow him suspiciously.
A little while later, in a different area of the store, Sollux comes up to you, sort of half hiding something behind his back.
“Here, maybe if you dressed like this, you’d get laid more often, fishdick,” he says as he holds it in front of you.
It’s a red plaid miniskirt.
Frowning, you wrest it away from him, slapping his hand and he actually lets go. “Aww, but I wouldn’t look half as good in it as you would,” you retort bitingly.
Sollux scoffs, but you think there’s just the faintest trace of yellow on his cheeks. “Don’t be absurd.”
You smirk. “You know what, maybe I’ll just try it on.” Turning around, you stride towards the dressing rooms, grabbing some kind of top that looked cool from a rack as you go. You need something to go with the skirt, right?
“No way,” Sollux blurts out, quickly following you. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”
“Watch me do it.”
Changing out of your clothes in the dressing room, you put the skirt on first. Not really your color, but, eh, you can work it. Shows off your long legs. You grin at yourself in the mirror.
Next, the top you grabbed. It’s kind of a two piece, skintight, consisting of a black crop top with a print that looks like your sign, and a violet - your color - 3/4 sleeve top over it, that only covers your shoulders. It has a slight collar, too.
Turning around, checking yourself out in the mirror, you adjust its fit here and there, smooth out the skirt.
Perfect.
Yeah, that bitch thinks this kind of thing isn’t old news to you. Well you’ll show him.
When you pull the curtain back with a little more force than was probably necessary, ready to snark at the mustardblood, Feferi is there, too.
“Wow, Eridan, that looks really good on you!” she gasps.
“Are you fucking serious?” Sollux asks her, deadpan.
“Of course!! Don’t you agree?” She turns to him.
You can’t help a snort and a brief, almost hysterical laugh, putting your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from laughing more, while Sollux utters “I- What-” and goes bright yellow.
“Thanks Fef,” you manage to drawl, still trying to hold back the laughter. “I quite like it myself, I think I’ll just keep it on.”
“You should!! You look great!!”
“Oh my god,” Sollux mutters and stalks off.
You do look great. It’s not your fault if he can’t handle it.
As you leave the store, you can feel Sollux glowering at your back. You couldn’t keep the outfit on, but you could ask Feferi to pay for you, so you just changed back into it.
Outside, Feferi makes a beeline for a little park area nearby. “Let’s take a quick break, guys,” she says and sits down on the nearest bench. You take a seat next to her, crossing your legs with practiced grace as you stare up at the mustardblood, smirking.
Sollux crosses his arms. “Can’t we just go home already?”
“Awww come on Sollux, don’t be so grouchy! We can go get ice cream before we go on, too!”
“He’s just jealous he doesn’t have a cute skirt,” you tease him, and Feferi bursts out laughing.
“No I’m not,” Sollux protests, evidently offended.
“You so are.”
Feferi has to laugh even more.
“Or are you jealous cause I look so good in it?” You wink at him slowly.
“Fuck off,” Sollux hisses.
“What do you think,” you say to Feferi as Sollux goes to sulk somewhere else, knowing he can still hear it. “Should we just buy him one at the next store?”
Laughing tears by now, she puts her hand on your shoulder like it was just the greatest joke ever. “A yellow one with polka dots!” she suggests, breathless.
“I don’t want a skirt!” Sollux yells from somewhere behind you.
Turned out to be quite a fun day, after all, you’d say.