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hold down my heart

Summary:

“Hi Buck,” Chris says once he’s in frame and gives a shy wave that is frankly adorable, not that Eddie would ever say that out loud. Buck is similarly endeared going by the look on his face.

“Hey buddy,” he says.

Chris cocks his head to the side. “Are you in our kitchen?”

Buck pauses. “Uh, yeah.” He glances at Eddie then back to Chris. “I took over the lease for your dad,” he says. Eddie can hear the ‘he didn’t tell you?’ that he doesn’t say.

Eddie watches Chris carefully. He’s surprised when he sees his shoulders relax.

“Good,” he says with a nod. “It would be weird if there were strangers living there.”

--

The morning after the chess tournament.

Notes:

the only issue with writing while the season is airing is that i feel like there's never enough time to post in between eps. glad to get this one out 🤗

title from doctor by remi wolf

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Waking up under the same roof as his son for the first time in months makes Eddie feel like he could fly. He practically skips out of bed and into the kitchen, throwing the curtains wide to let in the sunlight. He even pulls out his phone and puts on a playlist—one that Buck always played in the mornings when he would cook breakfast—and hums along. 

He and Chris had talked on the drive home from the tournament yesterday. They didn’t touch anything around Chris leaving, they’d get to that when they weren’t stuck in the car together for five and a half hours. No, instead they caught up on the good things. Chris told him about the friends he made at the pool club, the ones he had in his classes. Things he loved about El Paso, and things he didn’t. Eddie told him stories about Brad Torrence and Lakers games and Buck getting cursed, trying to remember any fun that he’d had while Chris was gone. Doing their best to catch up on the last half a year of their lives that they lived without each other. It was everything Eddie was too scared to hope for when he came to Texas. 

Eddie knows there’s more to come, harder conversations to have. But right now he wants to linger in the feeling of Chris being happy to be around him, something he thought he’d never have again. 

It’s a little after 9am, too early for Chris to be waking up anytime soon, but with all his anxious energy he gets a jump start on breakfast anyway. 

Buck’s off today. Eddie knows by now he will have already been up for hours, either in the gym or on a run. He should be finishing up his shower and making coffee right about now. 

Eddie props up his phone and FaceTimes him as he pulls the bacon from the fridge. 

“Hey,” Buck answers with a smile. Eddie warms at the sight of him and his wet curls in Eddie’s kitchen. Buck’s kitchen. Whatever. “Perfect timing, I was just starting breakfast myself.”

“I know,” Eddie says, enjoying the way Bucks brow scrunches in response, caught off guard. “What’s on the menu today?” Eddie asks. 

“Uh,” Buck blinks a couple times. “Oh! I got a new cast iron the other day that I’ve been dying to use, so I’m thinking a frittata.”

More cookware, Buck?”

“Well, when I say new I mean new to me. I got this at the thrift store; they have some surprisingly nice stuff there. Like two weeks ago I got this beautiful Dutch oven for, like, twenty five bucks. It’s not La Creuset but it’s still really nice.”

“Right,” Eddie responds, not fully knowing what that means. 

“Besides, it’s not like I don’t use them all. I seem to remember you benefiting from every fancy appliance I’ve ever bought.”

“Mm, maybe.” Eddie says around a smile. 

“C’mon, admit it. You miss my cooking.”

“Of course I do,” Eddie says without missing a beat. It makes Buck's cheeks turn a light pink and he looks down at what he’s doing. Eddie doesn’t know if it’s the blush or the energy high from the day before that makes him say, “You should probably come out here and give me a refresher soon.” 

Buck’s knife stops and he meets Eddie's eyes. Before either of them can say anything there’s a shuffling down the hall and Chris wanders into the kitchen. 

“Hey bud, surprised to see you up,” Eddie says. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Buck perk up. 

“You were being loud,” he grumbles, but the sting is taken out of it when he immediately follows up with, “Are you talking to Buck?”

Eddie had called Buck the night before, giddy and rambling about what had happened that day, but Chris had crashed hard after they got back to Eddie’s place and ate dinner, exhausted from the anxiety and excitement of the day, so he hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Buck. 

“Yeah, you want to say hi?” Eddie tilts the phone towards Chris, who nods.

“Hi Buck,” Chris says once he’s in frame and gives a shy wave that is frankly adorable, not that Eddie would ever say that out loud. Buck is similarly endeared going by the look on his face. 

“Hey buddy,” he says. 

Chris cocks his head to the side. “Are you in our kitchen?”

Buck pauses. “Uh, yeah.” He glances at Eddie then back to Chris. “I took over the lease for your dad,” he says. Eddie can hear the ‘ he didn’t tell you?’ that he doesn’t say. 

Eddie watches Chris carefully. He’s surprised when he sees his shoulders relax. 

“Good,” he says with a nod. “It would be weird if there were strangers living there.” 

He doesn’t elaborate more than that, just moves over to the table to sit down. Eddie stares after him for a second before looking back at Buck, who shrugs, looking like he’s suppressing a smile. 

“Uh, breakfast is almost ready,” Eddie says to his son. “Bacon and eggs.” Chris nods, already absorbed in his phone. 

“Can I have some toast too?” He asks without looking up. “And some juice?”

“Coming right up,” Eddie says, shaking his head with a smile. Right now, Eddie he’d buy out the whole damn grocery store if Chris asked.

There’s nothing but the sounds of Eddie’s pan sizzling and Buck's knife hitting the cutting board for a moment before Buck perks up. 

“Oh! I’ve been meaning to tell you, we get to try out some new equipment as some trial run? We’re one of a few stations to get these new high efficiency nozzles. It’s gonna be awesome.” Eddie smiles fondly and can see Chris doing the same. Their eyes meet for a second in fond commiseration in a way they’ve done a million times whenever Buck gets excited about something. It’s so familiar that it squeezes something in Eddie’s chest. 

Buck rambles on until they’re both finished cooking and Eddie and Chris set him up on the table so they can all eat together. Buck makes Chris laugh so hard orange juice comes out of his nose and, oh , Eddie melts. He’s never loved anything more than he loves the two people in front of him. Watching the two halves of his heart laugh together, something inside him gets stitched back together. All he can think is this is exactly the way it should be—the three of them, together—all the time. 

Now he just needs to work on getting them all back in the same room. 

As if reading Eddie's mind—or maybe just feeling the same thing Eddie’s feeling; he and Chris are usually on the same page when it comes to Buck—Chris turns to Buck when he’s finished eating. 

“So when are you coming to visit?” He asks. 

Buck meets Eddie’s eyes, and he smiles encouragingly.

“When-whenever you want me to,” Buck says quickly. Chris nods.

“Good. We need you here ASAP to help dad fix the house.”

“Hey, I think I’m doing a pretty good job on my own,” Eddie defends. Chris rolls his head to look at his father. 

“So you wouldn’t let Buck help?”

“I-I didn’t say that,” Eddie says. 

“That’s what I thought.” He turns back to Buck. “The bathroom is hideous, we need to paint it.”

“I was getting there, for the record,” Eddie says. “It just wasn’t the highest priority, that’s all.”

Buck is looking between the two of them like they’re his favorite tv show, eyes bright and smile wide. 

“I’m sure. Don’t worry, I’ll let you put me to work, Eds,” Buck says with a wink that should not make Eddie’s mouth go as dry as it does. “I’ll talk to Bobby about taking some time off.”

He smiles at Eddie and Eddie wishes they were in the same room so, so badly. 

“Good,” Eddie says, letting a grin of his own stretch across his face. “Can’t wait.”

 

Notes:

yayyy thank you for reading! kudos & comments appreciated

this is rebloggable if you're into that sort of thing