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Ed went to sleep, that he knows for certain. It’s been harder these past few weeks since Stede passed. Damn near impossible, he feels cold, alone. But sleep just comes, it has to, at his age, he couldn’t stay up for days if he tried.
These past few days, sleep is all he can do, he can barely get out of bed, his body too feeble and frail to handle the trip to the kitchen in the morning. But this sleep felt different, heavier, more like one of those good deep sleeps he’d have when he and Stede were younger. After a long days work, where the second your head hits the pillow, you’re out.
It felt good, calming, he knew he’d have good dreams that night.
He drifted off, a smile on his lips, this felt perfect…
He’s in the ocean now, not floating on the surface, and not on a ship either, but in the actual ocean, hundreds of feet below the surface. The sunlight filters in through beams of beautiful bright light. It’s a familiar sight, he’s had this dream before, but that was decades ago. He’d nearly died, been thrown off a cliff in the gravy basket, and he’d seen…
A beautiful glittering gold mermaid, his mermaid. The ravages of time didn’t show on his face, he looked as he did when they met; white hair replaced by sunny blond, shining hazel eyes in place of the hazy gray of cataracts, his skin is soft and unwrinkled and perfect, and his frame is strong with broad shoulders and large biceps.
Ed’s own body is in a similar state, brought back to his middle aged self; tattoos still fresh and un-faded, hair silvery gray, arthritis gone (any pain gone, really), and his skin no longer crimped and papery. The biggest new thing is the tail sprouting from his abdomen, replacing his legs. It’s black, but shines iridescent purple in the sunlight.
His eyes go back up to his mermaid, the love of his life, his reason for living. “Hello my love.” Stede says, holding out a hand.
Ed takes it, pulling him in to kiss him. His body shakes as it’s racked with sobs holding his dead lover, “Why did you go? You left me again.” He grips Stede as if he’ll disappear, “I miss you so much.”
Stede rubs his back and digs his face into Ed’s throat, “I didn’t want to go, I didn’t have a choice.”
Ed knows that, Stede would never leave him on purpose again. “I can’t live without you, Stede.” He takes a deep breath in, despite being underwater, “I just… I can’t.”
“You don’t have to” he says matter of factly, and a glowing white light shines behind him. It’s bright, just about the brightest thing Ed’s ever seen, but it doesn’t hurt to look at. It feels… comforting. “Come with me, Ed. We can run off like you always wanted.”
“Haven’t wanted to do that in a long time, we’re too old for adventures.”
“Not anymore,” he grins wildly and beckons him forward, “come on!”
It’s a no brainer, if this is a dream, then goddammit, Ed would rather stay in this dream forever than be stuck in bed in the real world. This dream has Stede, and they’re both mermaids, exploring the ocean forever, why would he go back to being an old lonely man stuck in bed? But he knows this isn’t a dream, it’s too good to be a dream. He grips Stede’s hand tightly, this is their biggest adventure ever, one that will go on forever, and Ed wants forever to start now.
They swim towards the light, Ed giddy and wildly happy, happier than he’s ever been before. The last time he saw this light, he was prepared to enter it alone, terrified of it. But here with Stede at his side, entering it with him, he couldn’t be more excited.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Ed.”
They swim into the light together, and Ed doesn’t wake up.