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Sae should've been happy, really.
Rin was always a little odd. A little too quiet, and a little too attached to him–always insistent on following him around like a lost little duckling. So, the fact that he'd finally made a friend at school should’ve been a good thing.
Should've.
But, for some reason, Sae didn’t feel happy.
Instead, he felt... irritated.
Annoyed.
And maybe, though he'd never admit it out loud, jealous.
Because suddenly, Rin wasn't trailing after him after school like he used to. He wasn't looking for Sae first during lunch breaks, eyes scanning for his older brother with that bright look he saved only for Sae.
No. Now, Rin was with that other kid.
It was stupid.
What was so special about this new friend anyway? What gave the brat the right to steal Rin’s attention so easily?
Whatever. Lukewarm–that's what it was. Sae told himself he didn't care. He'd ignore it.
Or at least, try to.
But it got only worse when Rin came home one day, grinning, practically bouncing with excitement, too eager to share the news that was the cause of his joy with his nii-chan.
"Nii-chan, nii-chan! Guess what! My friend's coming over tomorrow! He said he likes soccer too and wants to play with me!"
Sae scoffed, leaning back on the couch. His eyes stayed locked on the television screen, feigning disinterest. But the words slipped out before he could stop them, voice coming out meaner than he expected.
"Ha? Since when do you need some random kid to play with?"
Rin blinked, startled by his brother's tone. "What do you mean? He's my friend, nii-chan..."
Sae narrowed his eyes, voice turning sharper as he turned to Rin. "I mean, you're always following me around. What, now I'm not good enough for you?"
He hated how Rin's smile vanished–how he seemed to shrink just a little as he shifted nervously, fumbling for a reply. "H-Huh? I didn't say-"
"Tch. Whatever," Sae crossed his arms, not even bothering to hide the scowl on his face. "have fun playing with your dumb little friend."
Then–it was quiet. Silence.
Rin stood frozen, sadness flickering in his wide teal eyes. He looked confused–hurt.
Sae turned away before he could see any more of it, feeling an uncomfortable feeling twisting–perhaps guilt–in his chest, but he ignored it.
From the corner of his eye, he saw Rin turning away, mumbling something under his breath too softly to catch, then quietly turning and walking to his room.
The next day, Rin didn’t invite his friend over.
Instead, he was right back at Sae’s side, like he was trying to fix something he didn't understand. He insisted on pressing close like he always used to, like that one afternoon had never happened.
His small hands curled around Sae's sleeve like it belonged there, at every chance.
Sae didn't say anything.
But, he didn't push him away either.
And after that, Rin stopped bringing up his friend altogether.
It was just Rin again. Just Rin, small hand wrapped tightly around his as they walked home from school together. Rin, who smiled up at him with warm, unquestioning eyes as he'd tug at his sleeve, asking–soft, hopeful–if they could stop at the convenience store for ice cream.
Sae's childish jealousy had won.
And even though he should've felt guilty about it, he didn't.
All he felt was a strange sense of satisfaction, a twisted kind of relief as he grasped Rin's hand even tighter in his, giving a subtle nod.
"Okay, let's go."
