Work Text:
Beomgyu was so tired. He was on his last red eye, and he was so close to finishing he could practically taste it.
His latest client contracted him to create a painting of him and his wife for their anniversary, modeled after their wedding photos. The client was by far one of the richest chaebols in Korea— a real figure in the top one percent of the country. When he finished this painting, he could make any of his boyfriends’ dreams come true. They’d be set for life.
He worked tirelessly. The canvas wasn’t the biggest canvas he ever painted on, but it was a hefty task nevertheless. He worked on each detail with artistic precision. Each background stroke, each detail on their faces. It took him fifteen days .
And it was ruined in one moment.
Taehyun and Kai were in one of their child-like bickering sessions at breakfast. Beomgyu didn’t pay much attention— it had become second nature for them like his bickering sessions with Yeonjun were. Once he finished breakfast, he padded back into his studio right next to Taehyun’s office, door slightly ajar as he grabbed his acrylic paint knife to add more color to his palette. He picked up his brush, leaning over his painting as he straightened out the tarp underneath. He bought an easel when he first started painting, but found himself more often than not painting on the floor instead.
On the off occasion, Taehyun’s and Kai’s bickers would turn into a game of cat and mouse— where Kai would almost always be the mouse while Taehyun was the cat. Beomgyu loved it.
But today he needed to focus, because his deadline was this afternoon, and he was so close. He was the finish line at this rate.
Kai almost always looked for his Beomgyu-hyung to shield him when Taehyun and him played. He was always the softest with Kai, and would protect him from Taehyun like there was no tomorrow. So when Kai burst into his studio, scrambling over toward Beomgyu, clearly not noticing the bucket of white paint near the corner of the canvas, Beomgyu shouldn’t have been surprised.
The canvas instantly stained white. And with the thickness of the acrylic paint, it would certainly linger. Beomgyu stood up from the floor, an incredulous expression on his face. Taehyun stood in the doorway, mouth ajar as he gazed at the ruined artwork.
“Kai!” Beomgyu yelled, anger bubbling in his chest.
“Beomgyu-hyung, I’m so sorry. I—” Kai stuttered, a guilty expression creasing across his face.
“Sorry?! You think sorry is going to fix this?! The deadline is in two hours! My client is gonna fire me!” Beomgyu yelled, fists bunching up against his side.
“I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. It was an honest accident, hyung.” Kai ducked his head, a pained expression flashing across his face as he fiddled with his fingers nervously.
Beomgyu pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ugh, yeah. Whatever. Just…go get me some paper towels and leave me alone.”
“Way ahead of you, hyung.” Taehyun interjected, walking into the room with two rolls of paper towels. They started dabbing bunches into the affected area, pressing the paper towels into the painting.
Beomgyu grabbed the paper out of his hands. “Just get out. Both of you.”
Taehyun’s eyes flashed in surprise, “Oh. Okay.” He stood up from the floor, hesitantly walking back to the doorframe. Beomgyu continued to dry the canvas as they stood in the doorframe, before Taehyun softly tugged Kai out of the room and shut the door.
Beomgyu pulled out his phone, pulling up his messages with his client.
Choi Beomgyu [9:07am]
Hello, sir. I’m so sorry but an incident occurred while I was working on your commission.
[Photo Attachment]
One of my partners accidentally knocked down a bucket of paint, and I’m afraid I’ll need to start again because of it.
If you could give me three to five more days, I will have it finished by then for sure.
Client C#109 [9:21am]
Thank you for letting me know.
While I am quite disappointed by this accident, I will put my faith in you and give you three days to fix this mistake.
Choi Beomgyu [9:22am]
Thank you so much for your grace, sir. I promise you will not be disappointed!
💙
Beomgyu skipped lunch and dinner that day. They didn’t eat every meal together, but that was the first day none of them saw Beomgyu tiredly pad into the kitchen at some general time to grab some kind of snack or ramen to eat. The household was tense.The two oldest of the five heard the whole argument and grimaced when Beomgyu raised his voice. Sure, Beomgyu could be loud, but never like that. Not with any actual heat filling his words.
Soobin caught on quickly. He started small, as he always did.
“Make sure to take a break to eat.” He spoke as he set a bowl of kimchi fried rice behind Beomgyu.
“Mm.” Beomgyu grunted, focus unparalleled as he continued to sketch on the canvas.
And with that, he left. When he returned the next morning, he would sigh as he gazed at the quarter-eaten bowl outside of Beomgyu’s studio.
“I don’t think Beomgyu-hyung went to sleep last night.” Kai worriedly mentions at breakfast, a pout on his face as he fiddled with his breakfast. “I went to get a glass of water at like 2am, and Beomgyu-hyung’s light was still on in his studio.”
They all collectively sigh. This was common of the hybrid sometimes. He would hole himself up in his studio for days, ignoring all outside distractions and focus on one sole thing: painting. Yeonjun joked that the ghost of Picasso or da Vinci possessed him, but it was all in good-natured fun.
So when Beomgyu yelled at Yeonjun to “just leave me alone! Don’t talk to me, it’s annoying!” They were all shocked. Beomgyu never yelled at Yeonjun like that. Especially since he was the most sensitive out of the five. But Yeonjun would never let it show. So when someone yelled, he yelled louder.
“Well, fine! If you’re gonna be like that then I’ll never talk to you again! If you’re this ungrateful towards us, then you don’t need anything from us. Not even dinner.” Yeonjun crossed his arms, threatening Beomgyu with the one thing that mattered to him more than his boyfriends. Food.
“I didn’t ask you guys to bring me dinner, anyway!” Beomgyu yelled back, standing up from the floor with a paintbrush in his clenched hand.
“Well, fine! Soobin, don’t bring him any more food you make from now on.” Yeonjun pointed toward the second oldest, who had been watching the fight unfold from the sidelines. Soobin huffed at the statement, “You don’t dictate what I choose to do.” He spoke under his breath, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Well, fine!” Beomgyu paced over to the door, slamming it shut as Yeonjun stomped away.
💙
Beomgyu knew he was falling back into his self-destructive tendencies. He knew but there was nothing he could do. He was given a second chance, by the grace of the heavens, and he would not mess it up twice. Everything was just getting to be so much though. The late nights, the tears falling from his tired eyes whenever he would blink, the ache of his ribs as he stretched his arms over his head.
He knew he was being unfair. He knew how much his words hurt his boyfriends. But he’d rather them hate him for a moment and leave him alone than keep talking to him and never make him finish this commission. Even if he ended up dying tomorrow, as long as he finished this commission, he’d be fine. They’d be given his commission money and everything would suck for a little while if he died, but they’d cope and learn to live for him. Maybe he should stop thinking about dying, because the commission is almost finished, and Beomgyu doesn’t want to die anyway.
He had a plan. He’d finish his painting, drop it off, come back home, and beg on his hands and knees for forgiveness. For everything. For making them sad, for making them mad, for disappointing them. For letting his work get in the way of the four things most important to him. He’d say it’d never happen again, and pepper kisses all over Kai’s, Taehyun’s, Yeonjun’s, and Soobin’s faces. And they’d all laugh softly, some with tears in their eyes and on their cheeks, and Beomgyu would kiss away all their worries and nap like there was no tomorrow.
He just had one final corner to finish. It was noon of the third day. He would need to drop it off in one hour. He painted the final stroke, before applying the fast-drying gloss, and hanging it on his easel. He sighed out, shoulders dropping from their tense position as all tension released from his body. Exhaustion immediately took over his body, head drooping as he continued to stand. He silently shook his head, slapping his cheeks, before lightly pressing on the canvas. He smiled to himself, confirming the gloss was dried. He set the canvas carefully into his artists’ bag, before grabbing his essential’s bag and shoes, and walking out the door.
The bus ride to their meetup location—the chaebol’s very company —was 45 minutes. It was the part of Seoul where all of the high-rises subsided. Beomgyu had only been once with the others on a sightseeing trip, and all he remembered was how dizzying the sights were. But he would brave them once more for any amount.
Once he made it to the hundredth floor, he greeted the chaebol as respectfully as he could, despite the fact he was running on pure energy drinks by now. He apologized once again for the delay, and the chaebol so graciously accepted his apology. And then he checked his wiring account for the money and left. And he felt lighter because he was going to see his boyfriends and apologize and everything would be right with the world once again.
And then he hears a horn.
And all he can think about is how he had a plan.
He had a plan! And now it was pointless.
Maybe he shouldn’t have thought about dying yesterday so much. Maybe things could’ve been different. Maybe he should’ve just written a note apologizing to everyone instead of formulating an entire plan. Maybe he should’ve apologized when he heard them all talking and laughing like they always do at breakfast this morning.
All of the possibilities of what he could’ve done flashed across his mind.
But he didn’t. And that’s what haunts him.
🩵
When Soobin gets the call, all he can do is panic. Because his only part-time worker called in sick today, and he couldn’t close the bakery for another three hours unless he wanted to lose all of his regulars. But his boyfriend needs him. His boyfriend is injured and needs his attention.
He’s never been at the hospital alone before. They got him registered a mere month ago when he came down with the flu. Unlike when he first fell sick, he was much more lucid, so they took him to get some actual medicine with a local hybrid-friendly doctor at their nearby hospital.
He was alone, and needed his boyfriends more than anything else in that current moment. Soobin had no choice but to drop everything really. Of course he calls his other boyfriends to tell them of the situation, but his bakery is by far the closest to the hospital. He posts a sign on the front, before tearfully packing his things and trudging toward the hospital.
When he arrived, he emotionally sighed as he gazed at Beomgyu, tear slipping from his eye. The hybrid wore a ventilator mask over his mouth, huffs of breath leaving his chest serving to ground Soobin to the moment. The right section of his head was shaved, still stained with blood from the gash stretching from his temple to his scalp, sure to leave a scar. His right arm was broken, wrapped in a bandaged sling that was cushioned on top of his body.
A wounded noise left his throat, and he sank to the side of the bed as tears fell from his eyes. “Oh, god. Oh, Beomgyu. You’re gonna be okay. You have to be okay. You have to because Taehyun and Kai wanna apologize so badly, and Yeonjun-hyung cried yesterday after your fight. You have to wake up and let us apologize to you. Because I know you must’ve been under an incredible amount of stress, and never meant to lash out on any of us. And you were just trying to do your job but all of us were bothering you. So you have to wake up, and forgive us, and kiss all of us and continue being our boyfriend. Because we love you more than life. More than you could ever know.” Soobin whispered, laying his hands tenderly on Beomgyu’s still-rosy cheeks.
“Yeah, Beomgyu-hyung.” A voice whispers beside Soobin, causing the second oldest to flinch before gazing into Kai’s teary eyes. “I’ve been thinking of how to apologize for so long. All of my brain power has been consumed by you. So you have to wake up and just let me apologize in my own way. And you have to forgive me! That’s a non-negotiable.” He smiled, despite himself, a stray tear falling from his eye.
Soobin smiled, heart softening, before gently swiping his thumb under Kai’s eye. When the others trailed up behind them, grimaces forming across both of their faces, they all sighed a collective sigh of relief. They were here now. Their family was together. They’d be okay.
“Are you Choi Beomgyu’s guardian?” A doctor rounded the bed, holding a clipboard with a serious expression on his face.
“Yes, hello sir. I’m Choi Yeonjun.” The oldest of the group shook his hand, a reverent tone in his voice.
“Nice to meet you. Well, you’ll be happy to hear he sustained a limited number of injuries from the direct collision.” The doctor smiled comfortingly, “As you can see, we had to shave part of his hair because he sustained an open gash, which we stitched up and patched so it wouldn’t get infected. His right arm is broken, and we took a chest x-ray and found he cracked one of his ribs. Usually a cracked rib takes a month or so to heal, but since this one was pressing up against his lung, we shaved it down in surgery to prevent it from puncturing his lung.”
They all shakily sighed out, relief flooding their bodies all at once. They thanked the doctor gratefully, the older man smiling towards the four boys.
“He should be waking up soon. You can fill out his discharge forms at the reception desk when he does.” The man nodded, leaving the rest of the men to their vices as he bowed and walked toward his next patient.
Soobin sniffled softly, a strained smile forming on his face. “You know he’s gonna complain about his hair when he wakes up.”
Taehyun chuckled wetly, “Aigo…he got an unwanted haircut.” He lightly ran his fingers through the shaved part, tender expression on his face. The hybrid unconsciously leaned closer to his touch, Taehyun’s heart sinking to his stomach.
Beomgyu awoke a whole two hours later. The boys who hadn’t fallen asleep were either scrolling on their phones or comforting themselves however they saw fit.
His fingers curled into his blanket, face twisting up in pain as a moan left his mouth. Soobin immediately awoke, straightening himself as his head left Kai’s stable shoulder. Kai caught himself from falling, sniffling softly as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
“Beomgyu?” Soobin muttered softly, tired yet hopeful tone in his voice.
“So…rry.” The hybrid whispered out before another groan rose from the back of his throat. “S…orry, Yeonjun…hyu…” He huffed out, tears filling his closed eyes, head turning to press his bandaged gash into the pillow. Soobin sucked air in between his teeth, immediately trying to set Beomgyu’s head straight again. The doctor said it might sting for the next couple of days, and as long as he didn’t scratch it or irritate it in any way it shouldn’t bother him too much.
“Beomgyu-hyung? Can you hear us?” Kai stood up from his chair, lip slightly quivering as his eyes started to swell with tears.
“Kai…” The older whispered, breaths heaving out of his chest once more. “Taehyun…sorry. So…rry.” He sighed out once more, tension leaving his body as he sunk further into the bed.
“It’s okay, hyung. Just open your eyes.” Taehyun pouted, a bitter expression forming across his face.
With one last heave of his chest, he blinked his eyes open, tears falling to the pillow. His gaze blinked over to Yeonjun, and then Taehyun. Then to Kai and Soobin. And a fresh flood of tears filled his eyes as he brought his left arm up to cover his eyes.
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” His voice quivered, ventilator mask sliding down his face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He cried softly, heart aching as though he was a child who fell.
They all stood silently for a moment. Then, without a word, Kai wrapped his arms around Beomgyu’s frame, picking him up in the bed as his face leaned on the older’s shoulder. “I love you.” Kai whispered, grip tightening ever so slightly, so as not to upset his clasped arm in the sling.
Beomgyu wrapped his good arm around Kai’s neck, tears streaming from his eyes as he leaned his chin against Kai’s shoulder. “I love you too. I’m sorry. I just needed to finish. I hate that I yelled at you. I hate that I made you feel sad. I’m sorry. I’ll never do it again.” The hybrid rambled, sucking air in between each of his words as tears fell onto Kai’s shoulder. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Beomgyu cried, ache rooting deeper in his chest than ever before.
“Okay, hyung! We get it. You’re sorry. We forgive you. We love you.” Kai laughed tearfully, laying his hands on Beomgyu’s cheeks, wiping the stray tears falling from his eyes.
“No, you shouldn’t though.” Beogmyu shook his head, smiling softly as he looked at all of them. “Because I was so mean. I yelled at all of you, and that wasn’t fair. You were just trying to look after me cause you love me. And I was being a little baby because I couldn’t afford to mess up twice. So you really shouldn’t forgive me this easily because I was so mean.”
Taehyun sat on the edge of the bed, laying his hand on Beomgyu’s cheek, the older leaning into his touch as a stray tear fell from his eye. “Hyung. We all go through bad days. Rough times. We can’t fault you for being stressed after literally ruining your work. For literally having a human moment and yelling at us.”
“Yeah. We all have our fair share of stress, Beomie. You just coped with it the only way you knew how. We get it.” Yeonjun nonchalantly sat on his pillow, rubbing the end of his shaved tenderly. The hybrid leaned into his touch, tender expression on his face as he felt the warmth of Yeonjun’s love in his fingertips.
After a silent moment of the hybrid grimacing, “my hair…” He muttered achingly, stray tear falling from his eye once more.
“Looks badass.” Soobin chimed, an infectious grin spreading across his face.
Beomgyu huffed softly, a small smile finding his face. He turned towards Soobin silently, free hand intertwining with Soobin’s fingers silently as a blush coated Beomgyu’s cheeks. “Thanks. For everything. Everyone.” He turned towards his boyfriends, a soft, sweet smile filling his face. They all smiled fondly, clearly endeared by the hybrid’s words.
“I’ll go fill out the discharge forms at the front. I’ll be right back.” Yeonjun smiled, standing up before walking to the front.
“Well, I’m glad that’s all settled. Now, I think I deserve three consecutive nights of cuddling, all the head pats and ear rubs I want for the next week, and no teasing remarks for the next month!” Kai lifted the mood, confident grin on his face.
“Yes, fine. I will abide by your contract for however long you require, my liege.” Beomgyu mocks annoyance, but they can hear the fondness in his tone all the same.
“Yes! With that being said, I would very much like an ear rub right now.” Kai cheered, before scooching closer to Beomgyu. Beomgyu laughed softly, nodding softly. He closed his eyes with a smile, left ear naturally popping up. They all glanced at each other confusedly as Beomgyu continued to concentrate. His right ear slowly arose from his head, causing his boyfriends to glance at each other silently.
“Oh, Beomgyu-hyung…” Kai murmured, frown forming on his face.
“What? Is it bad?” The hybrid questioned, slightly edged tone filling his voice.
Taehyun opened his camera app on his phone, holding the selfie mode up to Beomgyu. The hybrid held it up to his ear, getting a good look at his new haircut, along with the state of his ear. His eyes silently widened, mouth slightly falling ajar as he gazed at his ear.
His ear bore a long empty space, the tip of the affected area still bloody, clearly from the gash located on his head. His heart broke. Kai loved his ears. Kai loved them more than Beomgyu . And now he would probably never touch this ear again. Beomgyu will be haunted by Kai’s hesitancy to touch his ears. He handed the phone back to Taehyun, before looking toward Kai silently. The younger of the two pouted, before looking at his ear. Then, he smiled, and rubbed Beomgyu’s ear gently. “Still as soft as ever,” He smiled, Beomgyu’s ears perking in response. The hybrid smiled warmly, blush coating his cheeks once more.
🩵
Recovery was slow, as it always was with Beomgyu. He was ordered on bed rest by Soobin whenever the others were home. Yeonjun and Kai were home the first couple of days—since their schedules were the most unconventional of the boys', it was easy for them to get paid time off. Beomgyu kinda liked being waited upon like this—not in a weird way really, but because their love shone through in every moment with each other that way.
It took two weeks for Beomgyu’s arm to heal. A month for his hair to grow back; and even then it was shorter and more unkempt than his generally longer, wavy hair. It was harder for his injured ear to arise as well, but after a while of practicing again it barely took any effort, like before. He spent a lot of time looking at his hair; lightly brushing his fingers over, pressing into the gash as it started to scar. He touched the scar so much he memorized the grooves of it.
He cried the first few days back home. His body was a reminder that he almost left the four loves of his life. That he made them drop everything to rush over to the hospital and pray he wasn’t already dead. That he genuinely scared all of them. He really didn’t think he deserved to be forgiven for that.
He was haunted by the thought of what could’ve been. Of leaving them behind one afternoon and never returning. Of letting go of everything tethering him to them. Of leaving them to cry into their pillows every night, and never rising again, and spending their days hating the empty space of the house, of missing the laugh that filled their halls every day.
It scared him. His own thoughts scared him. He dreamed of it. And then he would inevitably find himself in the strong, warm arms of his Soobin-hyung, or his Yeonjun-hyung. And the thoughts would become subdued once more until the next night. The older two were always the most willing to be tactile when Beomgyu needed it the most—don’t misunderstand though, Taehyun and Kai were there just as much.
For every day that Beomgyu was haunted by that day, the more the others would be there for him. And while it wasn’t a solution to the fear that gripped his heart, it was a start.
Fin