Chapter Text
Paradise Manor Communication Array-
He Xuan: btch
He Xuan: ur mans jst acended again
Hua Cheng: fr?
He Xuan: frfr
He Xuan: hes the one tht caused the earthquakes just now
Yin Yu: is it bad if i kill myslf
Hua Cheng: ill jst kidnap ur sole again
Hua Cheng: so no
He Xuan: bruh
He Xuan: he placed third second and first in the ‘heavens most hoped to be banished’ leaderbord
Hua Cheng: im coming up there
He Xuan: wait
He Xuan: no
He Xuan: hes not upset abt it
He Xuan: we chillin for now
Yin Yu: hows ur revenge plot going
He Xuan: kys
Yin Yu: u fell in love
Yin Yu: didnt u
He Xuan: i hope both sides of ur pillow are always warm. i hope everytime u put on a fresh pare of socks u step directly into water. i hope everytime u go outside its to warm for u to wear a jacket but to cold not to. i hop everytime u wear shoes theres a pebble tht wont come out wen u shake it. i hope evey single one if ur future meals is the wrong temp
Yin Yu: ok godamn
Yin Yu: we get it
Calamities (+Yin Yu for some reason) Communication Array-
Hua Cheng : @Qi Rong
Hua Cheng: u r the bane of my existence
Qi Rong: qhat did i ever do to u guys
He Xuan: you are the blunt arrow of my life. ur abou as useful as a snapped bowstring. your very existence proves that intellifent design is bullshit. the only thing i culd ever compare u to is a cockroach because u refuse to die but thts an insult to cockroaches because they atleast hve a brain.
Yin Yu: who pissed in your cereal this morning
He Xuan: no one
He Xuan: i jst dont like him
He Xuan: and it wasnt rly serious with u
Yin Yu: 😮💨
Qi Rong: i am not a cockroach
Hua Cheng: you have the same amount of thinking skills as a jellyfish. youre a conversation starter. not when you are around but once you leave. you suffer from delusions of adequacy. every time i remeber ur existence i hve the urge to throw myself off a cliff so i dont have to breathe the same air as u. im honestly just surprised u can read this
Yin Yu: the fuck did he do to get paragraphs from both of u
He Xuan: existed
Hua Cheng: breathed
Qi Rong: i am not tht bad
Bai Wuxiang: u couldnt pay me enough money to get me to stay in the same vicinity as you for longer than two seconds. my only regret from destroying xianle was becoming ur subordinate. u make death itelf cringe away from you because of your smell alone. ur the reason shampoo has instructions. your face makes onions cry.
Yin Yu: separated by hate
Yin Yu: and united by even more hate
Yin Yu: respect ig
Paradise Manor Communication Array-
He Xuan: gurl
He Xuan: ur man is down on a mountain in a wedding dress
Hua Cheng: what
Yin Yu: excuse me
He Xuan: he got the makeup
He Xuan: hair
He Xuan: bridal sedan and escorts
Yin Yu: why
He Xuan: to hunt down a ghost groom
He Xuan: its one of qi rongs associates
Hua Cheng: which mountain
He Xuan: will it decrease my debt if i tell u
Hua Cheng: itll increase if u dont
He Xuan: mount yujun
Hua Cheng: brb
Yin Yu: hes not going to be right back
He Xuan: hell prob come giggling and kicking his feet
He Xuan: talking abt how beutiful the crown prince is
Yin Yu: unfortunately
Yin Yu: i hve taylor swift tickets at tht time
He Xuan: i will also be busy then
Yin yu: with?
He Xuan: eating
Yin Yu: very important activities
Yin Yu: i wish u the best of luck