Work Text:
In her younger and edgier teen years, Lana used to refer to herself as a prom night baby. It was a dig at her and her parents’ own expense, but she laughed along with her peers anyway whenever she said it. She figured it was better to make the joke herself, and be in on it, rather than overhear it from someone else.
Scientifically speaking, the remark wasn’t even true. Lana was born in August 1987, and her parents’ prom was a couple of months earlier. Further, neither of her parents were even in attendance at the ceremony. Her dad had dropped out a few credits shy of graduating, and her mom was not permitted to attend, seeing as she was so visibly pregnant by then. The PTA thought her mere presence at the event would be far too scandalous.
That technicality aside, the experience of being the Skyes’ daughter was about the same as the joke implied. Her parents were both 18 when she was born and had to raise her all on their own. Lana’s dad, Aaron, had a difficult upbringing, bouncing back and forth between volatile foster homes and his dysfunctional mother’s place. Even if he had been older when Lana was born, he would have been rudderless just the same.
Lana’s mother, Jillian, grew up in a more traditional middle-class family and, as such, her parents were not pleased with the news, to put it mildly. Jill was kicked out the day she told them and had to move into Aaron’s run-down bachelor’s apartment. It took many years for that parental relationship to recover, though it was forever fractured. Shortly after, the pair got married at the district courthouse, with only their best friends as witnesses, instead of daydreaming about their futures like the rest of their peers.
For many years, life was a battle. While Jill worked day shifts, Aaron stayed at home with Lana. While Aaron worked evenings, Jill took care of her instead. Typically, only at night were all three family members home at the same time. Childcare was expensive, and they needed all the hours they could get on their minimum wage salaries.
The marriage could be strained too. Lana’s parents weren’t always equipped to deal with the immense amount of stress they were put under. Sometimes, Aaron declared that he couldn’t take it anymore and would leave in a huff, only to come back hours later, contrite and ultimately forgiven. On other days, Lana would hug Jill for hours while she sobbed inconsolably.
Lana used to wonder why her home life was so vastly different from her schoolmates. While everyone she knew grew up in nice houses, had siblings, attended many extra-curriculars, and held elaborate birthday parties and sleepovers, she lived in low-income apartments and her birthdays typically involved one close friend and a boxed chocolate cake mix. To her, luxury was when her parents finally moved into a two-bedroom apartment, and she got a room all to herself.
Despite the hardships, Lana adored her parents all the same. Having such a young family meant the three of them grew up together, and she admired their hardiness once she was old enough to recognize it. When Lana started kindergarten, her dad obtained his GED. When Lana entered grade two, her mom went to school to become a dental hygienist. Two years later, it was her dad’s turn again, undergoing years of training to become a social worker, determined to help others who grew up in his same station.
Life stabilized the more they inched and clawed their way out of poverty, one shift and one college course at a time. Even when times were tougher, their life could still be a lot of fun. Her parents were young, lenient, and knew how to have a good time. They shared Lana’s excitement over every new toy, movie, or video game, and were happy to indulge her in such frivolities whenever they could pool enough money together to afford them. If Lana asked for pizza for breakfast and pancakes for supper, who were they to say no? They were adults, but they wanted to eat those fun foods too.
Moreover, by the time Lana was thirteen, there was little to distinguish the Skyes from any other family. Her parents were still the recipients of strange looks and side-eyes at school events and parent-teacher conferences, but they had become working professionals with years of experience and education behind them. They had even bought a small bungalow, the ultimate signal of Japanifornian prosperity.
After years of toiling away, they finally decided that they were ready to expand their little family. Ema was born in September, a little over 13 years after Lana. As Lana also joked, she was her parent’s mistake, but Ema was precisely planned with love and care. Like every good quip, it was a humorous exaggeration founded in a kernel of truth.
Lana’s parents assured her that they loved her just the same as Ema, even if they were raised quite dissimilarly. While Lana basically co-parented herself, Ema essentially had three parents to dote on her. However, Lana insisted that their assurances were unneeded. With an age gap like theirs, it’s not like there was any sibling rivalry. What, was she going to try to wrestle her infant sister for dominance? The notion was clearly ridiculous.
Still, there was always a small tinge of jealousy when she observed the conventional way that Ema grew up. She couldn’t help it. Though, there were pros to being the oldest too. While Ema had to go to bed early, Lana got to stay up late with her parents, watching TV and noshing on ice cream or popcorn. Even as a little girl, Lana never had a strict bedtime.
Shortly after Ema was born, Lana and her mom started watching Gilmore Girls together. It was their must-see TV of the week even if they had a love-hate relationship with the show. They enjoyed its depiction of young mother-teen daughter dynamics but rolled their eyes at its representation of teen parenthood. Jill would have taken overbearing parents any day if it meant comfort, security, and a solid relationship with them. As it was, her parents lived 20 minutes away, but she only saw them a few times a year.
Most times, Aaron would sit in while they watched, insisting he wasn’t interested but simply had nothing better to do. On one viewing, he made a big show of grabbing the car keys, saying he was going to search for the idyllic, two-story, colonial houses that one can buy on a single mother’s salary, and they all laughed.
Even when Lana went away to Ivy University, it was a tradition she continued to follow, coming home from the campus on Tuesdays, so they could eat junk food, watch it together, and catch up on the week’s events. Lana was taking criminology, with plans to become a forensic investigator, and her parents were incredibly proud of her.
Lana wanted to follow in her Aunt Connie’s footsteps. Not her real aunt, that is, but rather her mom’s childhood best friend. She was a forensic investigator who moved to London when Lana was young but still came back to Japanifornia every year to visit. When Lana was only five, she had even used birthday money that her aunt had given her to buy her first picture book, entitled Scientific Investigation.
That was Lana’s life plan, anyway, until a senseless tragedy changed everything. It was mid-December of Lana’s second year at Ivy, and she was back home for the break. Her parents had a holiday party to attend, so Lana stayed in and babysat her six-year-old sister that evening. She and Ema watched Christmas movies, ate sugar cookies, and drank hot cocoa together. They fell asleep on the couch, under the same red tartan fleece blanket, and only woke up when they heard a knock on the door.
Lana answered it, expecting to see her parents, laughing and explaining that they had forgotten their keys. Instead, there were two police officers, a man and a woman, informing her of a car accident. Neither of her parents survived; they were only 37.
The police were prepared to comfort her, as is typical on these kinds of calls, but Lana didn’t break down. In hindsight, it felt indefensible for her to be emotionless as she was, but she was too in shock. Besides, to Lana, crying would be like acknowledging that it was real. For the first few days, she hoped it was all just a horrible nightmare.
So, instead of enjoying holiday festivities like the rest of her school peers, Lana looked after her sister and planned a funeral. Her maternal grandparents, for once, stepped up and took care of most of the arrangements. She wasn’t in the frame of mind to do so.
Connie flew in as soon as she heard the news and stayed with the girls, leaving her own family, knowing the Skye sisters needed the company more. They still had Christmas morning together and, while Ema opened her presents, Lana couldn’t bear to. It took months for her to get the courage, hours to unwrap them, and she sobbed the entire time.
After the funeral was over, there were still some complications to parse through. Her parents had a will, but it hadn’t been updated since Ema was born. At the time, Lana was only a teenager, so Connie was listed as their guardian. While Connie was staying over, they discussed the decision at length. Connie was the same age as her parents, and she and her husband already had kids and thriving careers. Ema would be well taken care of in England. However, it would also mean Lana living thousands of miles away from her only sister.
After much deliberation, Lana made the difficult choice to be Ema’s guardian instead, and Connie supported her decision. She waived the guardianship, and the courts agreed to place Ema in Lana’s custody. Before she returned home, Connie hugged Lana and told her to call anytime. She also told Lana that she was always allowed to change her mind, although Lana insisted that she’d be okay.
Lana was not ready to be a parent, but she tried her best. She took a semester off from college, so she could make a go of it. She walked Ema to and from the bus stop every morning and every afternoon. She prepared her three square meals a day. She made sure Ema completed her homework, bathed, brushed her teeth, and went to bed at a reasonable hour.
She couldn’t believe how exhausting it all was. Every day, there was more fucking laundry and fucking cooking and fucking dishes to do. It never ended. She didn’t know how her parents did it all while holding down full-time jobs. She forever felt like she was scrambling to get everything done before Ema got home from school.
Everyone, her parents and strangers alike, always said that Ema was a good kid. A sweet kid. Well-behaved. Clearly, they never had to cajole her into performing her activities of daily living. It seemed like Lana always had to fight with her sister to get her to cooperate. Once Ema was finally settled and asleep, Lana often broke down and cried. “Ema, honey, I’m trying my best,” Lana wanted to plead. She tried to remain patient though. Lana knew her sister was only acting out because she was grieving too.
That semester, one where she should have been in school, went by in an instant. Week after week, putting Ema on the bus, chores, cooking, homework, bed. Weekly check-in calls from Connie. The odd drop-in from her grandparents. They were always more generous with their money than their time, and they weren’t that rich. Lana couldn’t believe how fast it went, knowing how much she was suffering. Excruciating levels of stress had a way of altering her perception of time.
Lana didn’t feel ready to go back to school, but she had no choice. She was only able to attend Ivy because of a scholarship. The dean allowed her a semester off to grieve, but she needed to obtain her credits before her third year started or she’d lose her funding. Panic began to set in. How could she possibly stay on the honor roll while being a single mother?
She needed an outlet for her stress and grief, but nothing seemed to help. She watched the series finale of Gilmore Girls that spring, in need of catharsis and familial connection, but spent the whole episode bawling her eyes out and regretted the decision immensely. She tried screaming into a pillow, but that only provided temporary relief. Maybe she could screw anyone with a pulse? That sure would make her feel good, but she lacked the will, the time, and the energy. Alcohol was no longer an option, knowing its impacts.
So, she landed on cigarettes. A few a day at first, then half a pack, and then a whole pack. It didn’t take the horrific pain away, but it did take the edge off. She probably needed something stronger, realistically, but the thought of Ema finding out or losing her scholarship made her land on something legal and culturally acceptable. Something that would keep her half-functioning without altering her perception.
This habit of hers only made Ema lash out more. “Cigarettes are bad for you, you know,” Ema would lecture. Verbally, Lana agreed, but she didn’t listen. Maybe, when Ema had to be the one packing up and selling her parents’ house, so they could afford to pay for their basic necessities, she would understand. Compared to all the self-destructive things Lana could be doing, smoking seemed tame.
Lana took classes that spring and summer and made up the credits she missed. She tried to be strategic with her schedule, so there’d be less days where she’d have to send Ema to daycare. She rejoined her classmates in the fall for third year, as if nothing had changed. As if her life hadn’t gone up in smoke one horrible winter night. Outwardly, her only noticeable life departure was her chosen career path for after her bachelor’s degree. Her planned post-graduate degree in forensic science was instead pivoted to law school.
Her parents were killed by a drunk driver, but the courts were much more lenient than she anticipated. Factors that went into his sentencing: the bar had overserved him, he had no previous DUIs, Lana’s dad had been driving a little too fast, and swerving his pickup truck into her parent’s lane wasn’t considered a grossly negligent act. This murderer was only given 16 months in prison, a license suspension, and a fine. He’d be out before Lana had completed her undergrad. The ruling incensed Lana, and she decided that her talents could be better served in criminal justice reform.
So, the two remaining Skyes bravely trudged forward, as Skyes were known to do. Lana remained on her scholarship, and Ema continued to perform well in elementary school. Remaining top of her class only came at the cost of Lana’s sleep and personal life, most of her time going toward school, part-time jobs, or running a household.
The silver lining was that, through it all, Lana and Ema became closer than they’d ever been. The number of “I don’t have to listen to you”s lessened substantially over time and were replaced with bedtime stories, samurai cartoons, teasing, and homemade science experiments. Lana could honestly say that Ema had become her best friend, and she was okay with that.
Still, Lana wasn’t completely divorced from the wants and desires of her peers. Regrettably, she only had a school year and a half to enjoy dating, partying, and dorm room living. Lana did go on dates here and there; she had the occasional fling, but no one seemed to be at her level of maturity. Maybe they’d have some superficial things in common, but while they wanted to act young and carefree and have fun, Lana had adult responsibilities. She couldn’t begrudge them that, really. She didn’t choose this life.
That was, until one fateful day, when Mia Fey audited one of Lana’s 2L classes. Of course, Mia was beautiful. Anyone with eyes could see that. But she was also so much more than that. Mia was pre-law, starting the accelerated law program the following year, and was top of her class too. She was good-humored, strong-willed, and kind-hearted. Most importantly, Mia had a little sister too, about the same age as Ema, and she knew what it was like to try to survive without parents.
Lana couldn’t believe her luck. It was as if someone had made this girl in a factory and placed her at the back of the lecture theater, just for her. Lana should have known that she couldn’t be so blessed.
During law school, Lana’s scheme du jour for sustaining her and Ema’s lifestyle was house mothering a sorority. It provided them with free room and board, after all. Lana simply had to tutor on the side for some spending money, and they were set. So, when Mia needed a place to stay, Lana made the galaxy-brained decision to offer Mia one of the sorority’s free rooms. It seemed perfect, even more so, when one night, the two of them toyed around with being more than just friends. Unfortunately, it was only ever experimentation for Mia, who determined then and there that her romantic interests were strictly heterosexual.
For about a year and a half, Lana was forced to live in the same house as her dream girl, knowing she didn’t want her back. It was tough, but pushing her feelings down was a defense mechanism and skill Lana had honed for years by then. And, since Mia had endured a bad breakup shortly after they first met, and chose to focus on her studies instead of dating, the heartache was easier to manage. Lana continued to be Mia’s close friend, with the vain hope that maybe Mia would change her mind about women someday. About one woman in particular.
That hope was dashed when Mia got a job at a big law firm and started dating one of her coworkers. Reluctantly, Lana hung out with the pair several times, now playing the role of supportive best friend. He was fine; she supposed. Whatever. It sounded like he had a hard life too, so, unfortunately, she couldn’t just write him off as a privileged trust fund asshole. Although, hearing him call Mia “kitten” made her want to throat punch him repeatedly. Sue her. Bottom line, she just wished he was a little shorter, a little uglier, and that he and Mia had a little less in common. Was that too much to ask?
When he was poisoned, there was a selfish part of her that hoped he would never wake up. That Mia would look to her as a shoulder to cry on and move on. Instead, his coma only drew a starker line in the sand. Mia visited him every week. While packing up his apartment, Mia found the engagement ring he bought; the ring Lana agreed to help him pick out like a colossal fucking masochist. Mia started wearing it, even though he never had a chance to propose. Everyone told Mia to give up, but she refused. Her parents’ abandonment left her with a complex. She couldn’t leave him behind like they left her.
At that point, Lana finally started to distance herself from Mia. Knowing it was completely hopeless made it too hard to even see her. Lana tried to move on too, as best she could. It helped that her precinct seemed to only hire Abercrombie models. With Jake Marshall, Angel Starr, and Dick Gumshoe around, and Neil Marshall a frequent visitor, Lana wasn’t exactly starved for choice.
Lana only ever dated Jake though. It wasn’t the same with him as it was with Mia, but he could be sweet, in his own eccentric way. He and Neil were always so nice to Ema too. With Lana and Connie’s influence, Ema had also developed an interest in forensics, and Jake was happy to show her around the precinct and teach her how to use their lab equipment and gadgets. Lana knew he had been interested in her for over a year before she finally agreed to go out with him, so he worshiped the ground she walked on. Unlike with Mia, Lana felt completely secure in his feelings for her. Unfortunately, like most good things in Lana's life, their relationship was short-lived.
Deputy Chief Gant had been trying to convince her for over two years to join the prosecutor’s office, but Lana always brushed him off. People called them the “Legendary Duo.” Why would she give that title up? He wanted her to be his inside girl though. Someone who could push all his arrests into convictions. She’d be law, and he’d be order.
However, Lana had pivoted her career once again for a reason. After all the time and effort, Lana finished law school top of her class, but she realized before she even graduated that it wasn’t the career for her. Policing had a better ratio of paperwork to investigation time than law and allowed her to complete some of the forensics so near and dear to her heart. Further, prosecuting had lost its appeal once she realized that she’d have little power to change the laws on the books.
Then, the SL-9 case happened, and Gant no longer asked her nicely. Lana walked into her and Gant’s shared office, only to see Neil dead, impaled on a statue. Near his body was Joe Darke, notorious local serial killer, and Ema. Both passed out. The baffling thing was, through some accidental series of events, Ema appeared to be the culprit. Ema, her lovable sister, fan of science, comic books, samurai, and all things nerdy had killed her boyfriend’s brother.
Who came to Lana’s aid in her time of need but Gant, helping to cover up the crime scene and stage it as Darke’s sixth murder. Gant ensured Ema’s protection, but for a cost. The Chief Prosecutor was set to retire soon, and he wanted Lana instated. With Gant's connections, her top showing in law school, and their arrest and execution of a dangerous criminal, she was a shoo-in for the role.
As instructed, Lana applied, and the legendary duo soon became the Chief of Police and Chief Prosecutor for the district. Once she was sworn in, Lana shut down from everyone she cared about. Lana knew Ema well, and that she’d feel too guilty not to come forward if she knew the truth, even if it destroyed her life. So, Lana barely talked to her anymore, scared she might let it slip. Quickly, they went from dear sisters and best friends to mere roommates. Even if Lana hadn’t disassociated, she’d barely have time to see Ema anyway. Not with Gant’s many demands, and the penalty that came with not following them.
Immediately after SL-9, Lana and Jake broke up. His brother was dead, and her sister had killed him. She knew it could never work long-term. After their split, Jake didn’t drop the issue though. He knew something didn’t add up, and he suspected that Lana knew the truth. He begged her to tell him what really happened.
Lana made the mistake of mentioning Jake’s incessant questioning to Gant one day. Gant, in an act of benevolence to his co-conspirator, demoted Jake to patrolman, so he couldn’t investigate the case any longer. Gant graciously went easy on him since his brother died, and he had been so close to Lana. Angel, who also had questions, was not so lucky. She was fired instead. Bruce Goodman was forced to sit down and shut up, at risk of losing his job too. In mere weeks, Lana went from commanding the respect, camaraderie, and admiration of her peers, to being thoroughly despised. She shrunk into herself more.
Mia, Lana’s once close friend, had long become an acquaintance she barely even texted. “Work’s busy, sorry,” Lana would always write. “Maybe another time.” There never was another time. Lana had heard rumblings about Mia’s investigations into Redd White. Attending events and after parties with powerful people, trying to gain intel to bring him down. Dangerous work, but Mia was known for her strength. Lana assumed she had it all under control. She didn’t.
Lana didn’t find out the news on TV, in the newspaper, or online like everyone else did. She found out when Mia’s murder case came across her desk, and she had to assign a prosecutor to lock away Mia’s sister. After everything she did to protect Ema, she couldn’t believe she had to do the complete opposite for the most important person in Mia’s life. Gant didn’t make any exceptions though and, if it was Maya versus Ema, well, blood was far thicker than water.
She tried to rationalize it. The way Japanifornian courts worked, a suspect had to be selected swiftly, or the case would be dropped. Lana had to charge someone, anyone, or Mia would never see justice. She thanked her lucky stars when Mia’s protégé, the one Mia had texted her about, just briefly, was as good as Mia said he would be.
Lana thanked them again a year and a half later, when she needed his help too. In the end, Phoenix didn’t let her get off scot-free, but he granted her something much more important. She traded one prison for another, but it was an exchange she’d make over and over again. No longer would she be under Gant’s thumb, living in constant fear that he’d expose her sister. This whole time, there was nothing to reveal, other than Gant was a worse person than even she realized.
When she got sentenced to time in prison, and was stripped of her law license and police badge, the experience was surprisingly bittersweet. Lana had spent seven and a half years in school, and all her hard work was lost. Now, she would spend seven years in prison with nothing to show for it in the end. At the time of her arrest, Ema was still only 16, so she had to be sent to England to live with Connie. Lana couldn’t even raise her sister to adulthood without peril.
And yet, Lana was finally at peace for the first time in ten years. After her parents died and SL-9, Lana had shoved her grief, heartbreak, anxiety, and fear deep down inside until there was nothing of her left. She was a husk. She lived with her sister, but they had become strangers. Even if it was only over the phone, she could finally joke, chat, and giggle with Ema just like they used to.
So, Lana spent the years in prison coping as best she could. She was a model prisoner and a rock to the other women there. If she had been given the chance of parole, she would have been out in half her sentence. When a goggle-wearing former acquaintance of hers needed her help, asking her to spy on Mia’s aunt and cousin, she agreed. Her way of making amends to Maya after nearly incarcerating her years earlier.
As she approached the end of her sentence, a deep and inexplicable sadness welled inside her. At long last, she would be free, and she was terrified. For the first time in a long time, Lana had absolutely no plans laid out before her. No college or law school to study for. No sister to take care of. No boss to follow. No sentence to serve.
Once she was released, Lana would be 36, nearly 37. Half her life gone. However, she was determined to make the most of it. She had the luxury of time her parents never got, and by God, she was going to live. She would do it for them.