Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1: Continued

I woke up to silence again. It was still hard to not have Melanie for company in my head everyday. I blinked my eyes open a few times to clear away the morning fog to see a familiar room with that familiar earthy smell. I loved this cave and this human family that had welcomed me into their lives. The entrance to the room fluttered with movement in the corner of my eye and I turned to see Ian entering with a large smile on his face. 

“Wanda! You’re awake! Good morning!” 

He’s always so kind to me. In all my lives, I have never met a soul so gentle. How lucky am I to have someone to call home. 

“Good morning, Ian! You were so quiet, I didn’t even hear you leave the room.” I replied. 

He smiled at me and walked over to our bed. 

“You were so peaceful I didn’t want to wake you up,” he replied, “plus we’ve got such a busy day I figured you could use all the rest you could get.”

That’s right, I forgot today was a raid day! 

My body surged with energy as I jumped up and headed for the door. This body still couldn’t handle excitement as well as Melanie’s body could so I was practically bouncing off the walls of the cave. 

Ian laughed. “ Alright, alright, Wanda! Let’s get some breakfast in you and see everyone. Jamie’s been wanting me to wake you up for an hour now and he’ll be glad to see you awake.”

I smiled. Jamie! My sweet sweet Jamie! 

He had grown so much it was hard to believe. Me and Melanie often spoke about how he was going to be taller than Jared and Ian soon and that our boys wouldn’t know what to do with themselves. 

Jamie was around 15 now, we can’t really tell without calendars, but he certainly was growing up. 

Even though I couldn’t hear Mel’s thoughts, I could see on her face what she was thinking when she looked at Jamie.

He’s gotten so big. I can’t believe it. This is the same boy that fit under my arms when we were in hiding. The same boy that came to me for comfort after a nightmare. How could the time have gone so fast?

It was bittersweet of course, as I had the same thoughts. It was so good to see him growing happily in our safe little hidden desert oasis. He no longer had to live in fear as we had for so many years. He got to experience life. Maybe not the same life that he could’ve had before my species had come to this planet, but a life nonetheless. A life filled with happiness and love, and that was all I could ask. 

I bounced as I walked with Ian towards the door and we headed down the red curved hallway towards the kitchen. The usual rumble of voices grew louder as we got closer to the kitchen and I started to detect the delicious smell of hash-browns and eggs fill the air. 

My stomach rumbled audibly. Ian threw his arm around my shoulder and laughed again.

He’s always filled with smiles. 

“Sounds like you’re as hungry as I am!”

I giggled and agreed quickly. 

As we got closer, we heard footsteps approaching us at a run. 

I felt my heart start to race with anxiety until I saw Jamie round the corner. 

“Wanda!!! I’m going to come on the raid with you today! Jared and Melanie just told me!” he said, practically shouting with excitement. 

I felt that anxiety creep up again. I didn’t like it when Jamie comes with us on raids, the risk of him getting hurt terrifies me. I didn’t want him to think I didn’t believe in him though so I smiled and choked out a reply. “Oh good, we get to go together again!” He lowered his head and looked at me. “You know you haven’t gotten any better at lying, right?” he said with a grin.

Oh no. I thought I hid it better this time.

“I promise I’ll be okay Wanda! I’ll have you and Jared and Mel and Ian and everyone there and it’ll be fine!” Jamie said, trying to reassure me. I sighed. 

I suppose that’s true. With all of us there, I can’t imagine something will go wrong. It’s been ages since anything bad happened on a raid. 

I looked back at him, with the worried expression still on my face. “Alright, Jamie, you’re right. I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” He groaned. “Wanda, you and Melanie take all the fun out of raids. You’re both too focused on me, it's annoying!”

I laughed,”I know but she’s your sister and we’re both going to always worry about you.”

Jamie rolled his eyes and rested his arm on my head. He really enjoyed the fact that in my new body he was significantly taller than me, especially since he had grown so much. 

“Psshh” I said as I pushed his arm off my head. 

“I think you are enjoying that too much,” I giggled.

I didn’t mind it, though. It was nice. It was something just for me and Jamie, our own thing. Not Mel’s, not Jared’s, just me. I felt selfish for relishing in the fact that I had something that others didn’t, but I tried to push that to the side. Ian keeps telling me to allow myself to be selfish sometimes, and I suppose I’d try it with this. I could hear him now - “Wanda you never let yourself enjoy things just for you! It’s ok to enjoy something just you.”

So I smiled and enjoyed our moment.

The three of us entered the kitchen where we were greeted by Jeb and Doc. “Well, good morning you three. Glad to see you slept well Wanda. I believe your food might be cold now Jamie since you left it so quickly, I’d finish it quick.” Jamie glanced over at his tray that he had left mid bite to come and greet us. Next to the tray sat a smiling Melanie next to a smiling Jared who appeared to be in a heated debate about some unknown topic. 

Seeing Jared still felt confusing. The twinge of feeling that still remained from being in Melanie’s body had dwindled slightly, but hadn’t completely faded. I know Melanie could see the confusion on my face sometimes when I looked at Jared, and I hoped it didn’t hurt her. 

“Wanda! Ian! Settle this disagreement for us.” Melanie shouted over the noise in the kitchen, interrupting my thoughts.

I looked over to see her beckoning at the three of us to come over to where her and Jared sat. 

Jamie left to go speak with some of the others who had just walked into the kitchen and Ian and I walked towards Mel and Jared and sat down. 

“Alright, now what’s this about?” Ian said with a grin. 

“Ok, so, Jared thinks that if the humans were the ones who invaded the souls planet, the humans would win by a landslide, no matter what body they are in. And I think that the souls stand a decent chance if they were in the beast's body or the spiders, the souls would win, no contest.”

I shuddered and grimaced. 

Why is it always violence? Things could be solved with so much less harm. 

I felt Ian wrap his arm around me. 

I see Melanie’s face change when she sees mine. 

“Oh Wanda, I’m sorry. That was a poor topic to ask for your opinion on.” She apologized. She then proceeded to elbow Jared who in turn apologized, looking slightly less apologetic but still understanding showed on his face. 

“How about a change of topic? There’s a lot to prepare for with this raid.” Ian said, looking gently at me.

I felt the familiar bubbly excitement start to course through me again as I began thinking about the raid. 

He always knows just how to make things better. I hope he knows how much I appreciate all of his consideration for me. 

Jared’s face changed from apologetic to fierce focus, the same way it always did when he was leading a raid. He looked at Mel, who in turn started sharing in the determined look.

Ian waved Jamie and Aaron over and the preparations began. 

“So as we know, this is the first raid that involves another human colony. We will be meeting with Red and having Thatcher from their colony join ours so he can work on setting up more storage spaces for us since our raids are bringing back more and more food and goods that we don’t have proper room for at the moment,” Jared said firmly. 

I heard a noise behind me, and I turned to see Jeb holding out two trays of food for Ian and me. I thanked him quietly and started eating while he sat down and joined in the raid preparations. 

I listened to the rest of the conversation with Ian at my side as we both ate our fill of the hash browns and eggs that Jeb had brought to us. 

Ever since I had been in Pet’s body, it had been easier and easier to get nicer foods and clothes and supplies for everyone, as no one could seem to distrust this new face. It was part of the reason why we needed Thatcher to come and build us storage. It was nice to no longer have scratchy blankets and uncomfortable beds and pillows, and not have to put up with the scratchy cactus soap, and Jeb rightfully insisted that we still kept everything in case we have any newcomers who need the old things. He also brought up a valid point that discarding such old and beat up items would lead to suspicion as no soul had such things. Everything a soul had was new and well kept, an old mattress covered in dirt would certainly raise some eyebrows, especially now that the seeker had supposedly vanished. 

After I had my fill of my breakfast, I wiped my mouth and drank some water to clear my throat and joined back in the conversation.

Jeb and Jared were discussing how long we would keep Thatcher in the caves and when the next raid would be so we could return him back to his home. 

“Well now, as far as I’m concerned our newcomer will be welcome for as long as he’d like, as I have no shortage of jobs for him.” Jeb stated.

“Yes, but if he wants to return sooner than our next raid we cannot prevent him from leaving, Jeb.” Jared responded intensely. 

“Well then I reckon we’ll just have to let our guest decide when he gets here.” 

“Alright, now that that’s settled,” Melanie said,” here are the final plans.  First, we are going to go meet with the other colony to pick up Thatcher outside of Phoenix in Komatke, it’s a small enough town and far enough away that neither colony will be at risk of discovery. After we have Thatcher, we’ll go get food and supplies in Rillito” Melanie paused to catch her breath, and Jared continued for her. “We should be back with Thatcher and a small amount of food and supplies within a day or so providing nothing goes wrong.”

Jeb leaned back and settled the plan with an “Alrighty, then. Let’s get to it!”and clapped his hands together. Jamie jumped out of his seat and pulled on Melanie and Jared. “Come on, come on! I already got the cars ready, let’s go!”

 We finished preparing our own individual bags and waited until nightfall to begin our journey.  

Melanie, Jared, and Jamie took their vehicle and headed off in the darkness. Ian held open the door for me and helped me get into the truck, while Aaron piled into the backseat. Ian closed the door behind me and walked around the front of the truck and got in the driver’s seat. The vehicle started with a loud noise that startled me in comparison with the dark of the night filled with nothing but silence. 

Ian clasped his hand around mine. “You ready, Wanda?”

I nodded in reply. He squeezed my hand and then placed the truck in reverse as we headed out into the night behind the others. 

I watched as our underground home blended in with the darkness and I said a quick goodbye.

I’ll be back soon, stay safe without us. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 2: Welcomed

I hadn’t even realized we had made it to the meet up point until we started slowing down. I was too busy focusing on the desert and all of the memories it contained for me and Melanie. It felt like decades since we had made our initial trip into this place. I couldn’t even remember if we had been on this road before, just me and Melanie. Sometimes I’d still check to see if she was in my head with me. 

Mel?

Silence. 

I’m happy I was able to give her body back, but I miss her constant company.

As we gradually turned the corner to the rendezvous point, I started to see human-like shapes in the distance. 

I started to feel the bubbly energy surge again and I started to smile. The joy of being able to meet other humans was intoxicatingly exciting for me. It was risky, but nonetheless, to know that there were new faces to meet and personalities to learn was a beautiful thing. Especially since this specific colony was a friend to souls like me who had gone native. 

Ian looked over at me and chuckled. “You are always so happy. Sometimes I wish I could see this world through your eyes.” 

Aaron groaned. “Ok, ok, ok, we get it, you love her Ian, whatever, please move on. We have things to do.”

I giggled and Ian laughed loudly and the three of us walked out into the night. Mel, Jared, and Jamie were standing there talking to three of the other colony’s members. I saw Red and I walked quickly over to the tall soul. “Hello, Wanderer, it’s nice to see you again!’ Red said gently. 

Sometimes it’s nice to talk to another soul. I love my humans, but having interactions with pure kindness is something I’ve missed. 

“Red!” I said as I practically ran over to him, Ian in tow. “It’s so good to see you too!” 

“Hey, Red! Long time no see, how you been?” Ian asked. 

“I’ve been good! Our crops have been coming in nicely, and ever since Jebediah gave us suggestions on how to set up his mirror contraption, things have been much more smooth going. One day, if you’d let me, I’d love to see your set up myself?”

I jumped up eagerly, “Yes! I’d love to show it to you! Maybe when we bring Thatcher back to you, we can bring you back with us!”

Ian looked at me with love and some slight apprehension showing on his face. I shot him a questioning and confused look.

He understood my confusion and said,” Yes, we’d love to have you Red, but first we’d have to clear it with Jeb and the rest, unfortunately it is a group decision on who we bring back to the caves with us.”

Oh, right. I should’ve known it wouldn’t be this easy. Especially since he’s a soul too, they have to be wary. 

Red didn’t seem to be swayed at all by Ian’s response. In fact, he looked as if he’d heard it many times. “That’s alright you two, I’m sure at one point or another the opportunity will arise and I’ll be happy to take it! It’s a little hard to make things happen quickly when the world can be so dangerous. I’m glad to hear all is well with you though, I was h-” he was cut off as the rest of our group began to circle around us. 

“Alright, everyone. It’s time to head out. We don’t want to risk being spotted, especially with two colonies at risk right now. Thatcher, why don’t you ride with Wanda, Ian, and Aaron, and we’ll see all of you in Rillito” Jared said.

Jamie and Mel gave a quick hug before following Jared back to their vehicle. I waved goodbye as they drove off into the distance.

“Bye, Red! I hope we get to see you again soon!” I said as the large copper haired man started to turn to walk away. He flashed me a smile and said a quick goodbye to Thatcher and then joined the rest of his group. 

It was too dark to see any definitive features on Thatcher as there was no light pollution, so I still had no idea what he looked like. Thatcher joined Aaron in the backseat of the truck while Ian once again helped me into the front seat. It was one thing I hated about this body. I was so much shorter than Melanie and having to rely on people to help me felt wrong. I didn’t want anyone to feel like they had to help me, but in this new body help was required. It felt wrong, a soul receiving help from the humans who were worried about my species taking over their world. Without Melanie’s long legs, I couldn’t run as quick, or reach things as easily. Without her muscle strength, I could barely carry my own weight. I loved being able to go long distances and to feel my muscles stretch as I ran, and to help bring all of the supplies in with everyone else. While I’m so grateful the humans had found me a body to call my own, and one they felt resembled who I was internally, I wished I could be of more help. I looked down to observe my fragility when I saw Ian’s hand rubbing my hand comfortingly.

I was so distracted by my thoughts, I didn’t even notice Ian start the truck and place his hand on mine. We had driven at least 10 miles before I finally joined the world again. As I came back to reality, I began to hear a conversation ensuing between the backseat passengers and Ian. Aaron, Thatcher, and Ian were playing catch up in a way that only the last humans on Earth would. There was no small talk, no how’s the weather, what’s your favorite color. Just describing their former lives before my species, and how they wound up with their colonies. If there were any newcomers, that was discussed as well. As I joined in the conversation, I could feel the familiar bubbling excitement grow. Thatcher was joining our caves! This was the first outsider from another colony that had come to stay with us. 

“Ok, ok, so let me get this right,” Aaron said, “your camp is literally 10 minutes away from a soul settlement? That’s insane!” 

Thatcher laughed, “The only souls that are smart enough to know we’re there are the ones who live with us.”

Ian laughed in agreement, “we do have some pretty smart souls living with us” he said, smiling at me. I blushed and looked away, smiling too. 

I entered the conversation by saying, “In all honesty, most souls don’t believe there’s many humans out there, if any at all. For us, there was no danger lurking around every corner, the only thing there would be is another friendly soul.” 

Ian appeared thoughtful. “This is true. I suppose if I was a soul and I was under the impression that the entire planet was my species, I wouldn’t even think to try and observe for humans. I’d just assume constant safety.”

My Ian always knows how a soul thinks. I genuinely don’t know how a human could be so in tune to another species’ feelings. 

I looked at him and smiled. I could feel my cheeks getting warm. 

The rest of the drive to Ritillo went by relatively quickly. We learned that Thatcher is the oldest of three brothers who live in the colony. That his fiance had been replaced by a soul and how he watched the man he loved change into a stranger in front of him, and how he had to leave him behind. Thatcher’s voice was plagued with sadness when he spoke of his lost love. I couldn’t see his face so I didn’t know if it displayed the same sadness, but I could assume well enough. 

This must have been what Jamie and Jared felt when I came back wearing Melanie’s body. She was still here, but not at the same time. They couldn’t even mourn. At least I was able to give them their love and their family back. 

This thought had plagued me many times while I had worn Mel’s body, but now hearing it from the other side in a way I wasn’t able to hear when I first arrived, stung me harshly. 

I will never take another body. I will not let another family lose someone they love so I may live a life. 

I had already come to this conclusion when I had given Melanie back, but this new information sealed my thoughts in stone. I will not be leaving this planet, and I will not be taking another body. I have lived more than enough and I have all I need right here.

We finally pulled into the grocery store that looked like it rarely saw anyone other than its employees. 

I looked over to see Melanie, Jamie and Jared waiting for us inside their vehicle. Once they saw us unbuckle, they began to climb out of the car. “Ready, Wanda?” Melanie asked. I nodded excitedly. She grabbed my hand and said ,” Lead the way!” I was all smiles.

Myself, Melanie, Ian and Jamie (much to me and Mel’s displeasure) walked into the store, while Aaron, Thatcher and Jared stayed behind with the vehicles. We walked carefully to the store entrance and tried to appear as inconspicuous as possible. The three humans had hats covering their heads and pushed the buggy behind me as I followed the list Jared had provided me. I gestured to Jamie to come towards me, so he could help me reach items on the taller shelves. 

He’ll be happy to be involved and help me. This way he feels like he actually did something on the raid.

Mel shot me a glance and I could tell she had the same thought process. 

The sun had finally started to peer over the horizon by the time we made our way to the check out aisle. A tired frail looking soul began scanning our items as I tried to help bag them for him. I looked at his name tag and noticed a name common to the Singing World, Sees The Sun. I smiled brightly at the frail man and said a common greeting used between souls who had lived there before. “It’s good to hear you through the leaves!” He looked up at me surprised. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you! I lived on the Singing World and based on your name I assumed you did too.” I said.

He smiled at me and replied quietly ,”It’s been a long time since I’ve run into a soul that’s called my former planet the Singing World. Most folks around here have never lived a life term there and call it the Planet of the Bats, it’s nice to know there’s another local soul who’s seen that planet's beauty.” He said as he finished scanning the rest of our haul. 

I could sense the growing restlessness and discomfort of the humans behind me who were doing their best to avoid eye contact with Sees the Sun. So I placed the rest of the items in the cart and started my goodbyes to the clerk. “Til we see the sun again!” I said as I followed the humans towards the door. 

“In this life or the next!” called the old man feebly behind us. 

I bounced behind Ian and Jamie who were carrying the larger items out of the store as Melanie pushed the cart beside me. We walked back to the truck quickly and started unloading all of our goods. Jared came from around the vehicle and darted his eyes, trying to ensure there were no seekers and no one following us. Since the time we had entered the store, the sun had risen high enough and we all decided it was time to stop somewhere to avoid any risk of detection. We found a small motel that was further away from the caves and I went to the desk and got two rooms for us. One for me, Ian, Aaron, and Thatcher, and another for Jamie, Jared, and Melanie. It did sting me with sadness a little that I had to be away from Jamie and Jared and Melanie, my sister and my sweet Jamie, and of course, the former love of Jared. But Ian’s comforting arm around my hips as we drifted off to sleep provided me comfort as well as knowing that we were all safe in the motel together. 

We all woke up close to dusk, when the sky began to turn dark. We began to pack up our things and prepared to head out into the night once more cars had cleared off the roads. We consolidated into one room and passed time with conversation. 

“Alright, alright, so let me get this straight,” Thatcher said. “So Wanda came back in Melanie’s body, with Melanie still in there, and then you trapped a seeker who also had a human alive in there and then Wanda gave back Melanie’s body in order to save the seeker and Lacey’s life and Melanie’s?”

“Yeah, that about sums it up!” Melanie laughed in response.

“So you sacrificed yourself to save someone you didn’t even like, and to save Melanie?”

“It wasn’t right to keep taking what wasn’t mine.” I said simply.

“And the body you’re in now?” Thatcher asked.

Ouch.

I stayed silent. I didn’t quite know what to say. I know the human in Pet’s body never woke up while I was in the hibernation pod, and that she would have died without my implantation, but I still felt guilty. 

Jared, Melanie, Jamie, Ian and Aaron all came to my rescue. They were talking over each other to defend why I was in my current body. A chorus of objections sounded so loud I was afraid people in the hotel would hear us.

Thatcher looked alarmed. “Woah, woah, woah. I meant no disrespect, I’m just trying to figure things out.”

“We had been trying to save Wanda ever since she sacrificed herself to save Melanie. She is loved by all of us and the kindest of anyone we’ve ever encountered. The body that Wanda is in now, we tried to save the human whose body this was, but she was taken too young and she was losing time with no conscious mind to regulate the internal systems, her life was fading. Without Wanda, the body and human would have died. Wanda once again saved another life by simply existing.” Ian said gently. 

“If the human ever does come back, I will give her body back without hesitation. It is still not mine to take, but as of right now, this body is my home.” I quietly responded. 

I could sense Melanie looking at me. I could tell she knew the guilt I was feeling because she’s felt it with me before. I felt her hand pat my back comfortingly and I looked at her and flashed a grateful smile. It was nice to have someone who knew my mind so well. 

The topic then went from person to person on how they knew the souls had taken over, and how they escaped the initial waves of colonization, and all the things the last humans on earth bond over. I stayed silent and leaned on Ian while the humans bonded. It was nice to listen to all their stories, they were so different from my own. I had never experienced the other side before this planet, so absorbing their stories provided new outlooks for me in a way I’ve never gotten before. It reminded me of my time with the Seaweeds. How we would pass our time by telling stories, just like this. Except it wasn’t just like this, because as a Seaweed there was no fearing for our lives, or the prospect of being discovered. Those stories were told for the sake of entertainment, and the stories the humans told now were about survival. Stories with a tinge of fear behind every sentence. 

Eventually, the sky got dark enough and the time got late enough that we left the hotel without seeing a single soul. Everyone started to get into their designated cars and I started to attempt to step into mine when I felt someone tap me lightly. I turned around to see Melanie looking at me concerned. 

“Are you ok? I know that conversation was hard for you. I may not be in your mind but I still know how it works.”

“I’m ok, I promise. I just don’t like the thought of hurting another living being, and if I’m doing that to the human who inhabited Pet’s body first I don’t think I could forgive myself. I still feel guilty for taking your life away from you, how could I do that again?”

“But you didn’t Wanda, this body has space for you and you alone. You have saved enough lives, even people who didn’t deserve it.” She coughed a fake cough and under her breath I heard the name Kyle and the seeker alongside some profanities. “Anyways, look Wanda, you have given everything for everyone. Allow yourself some grace. Let yourself enjoy being alive.”

She gave me a quick hug and I thanked her. We separated and said our goodbyes and see you laters.

I finally got in the car and we began our journey home. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: Returned

The sun had started to just barely peak over the horizon by the time we returned to our little underground haven. When we entered we found a large group waiting for us in the kitchen. It seemed everyone in the caves was excited to meet someone from another colony. The excited chatter didn’t seem to die down for hours. I stayed to answer any questions anyone might have had, despite my exhaustion. Sunny clung to me and asked me questions about the souls that we encountered and I answered them to the best of my ability. She had a tendency to ask after every raid that we went on. She was content to be here with Kyle, but she liked to know about other souls too. Seeing as we were the only two in a home filled with humans, I happily answered any questions she had. I felt Ian put his arm around me, and he pretended to have a question too, in order to get me away from the chaos and the questions. 

Once we had finally escaped the hubbub in the kitchen and finished getting ready for rest, Ian and I found our way to our room and laid down. He ran his fingers through my hair and brushed it out of my face. We were laying facing each other and I felt my body start to relax from the chaos of our raid and our return home. 

“Well?” he said.

“Well, what?”

Ian laughed. “Well, what do you think of the new human?”

I thought about it for a second. 

What did I think about the new human? 

“Ummm…. I think it’s sad how he lost his husband and how I’m a reminder of what caused his pain. I think I’m happy that he gets to have his brothers with him in his colony. I think that he might miss them while he’s here though. And I think I’m excited to see what changes he’ll make to the caves. What do you think of the new human?”

Ian took a moment and then said,” I think he’s alright. Haven’t had much time to get to know him, and I wasn’t quite fond of the question he asked you in the hotel. I know it hurt you and I don’t like that.”

“I don’t think he had any malicious intent though, I think maybe he was curious and that’s ok.” I responded.

“Well, he has a soul in his own colony, he should know by now how souls are. That you wouldn’t do anything to hurt another living creature. I think I’m just curious about his motives for asking that.”

“Ian, you can’t always assume the worst! Sometimes people who ask questions are just curious.” I said.

“Well, Wanda , you can’t always assume the best either.” He replied plainly.

I pushed him gently. “You humans are so suspicious,” I said laughing.

“And you souls are so trusting,” he said, smiling back at me. And with that, he pulled me close and kissed my forehead and gave a quiet, "Goodnight, Wanderer.” We settled in and it wasn’t long before I heard his breathing get deeper and I felt him roll onto his back. 

For some reason, sleep couldn’t find me. I tossed and turned and never felt quite comfortable. My mind was at peace but my body couldn’t rest. Eventually, I gave up. I slowly got out of bed, attempting to not wake Ian up. Not that that was truly a concern, he slept so deeply I feared even an earthquake wouldn’t wake him up. I gently pushed my way past the entrance to our little room and started wandering down the dimly lit tunnels. I walked past Jared and Melanie’s room, past Jamie’s, past Doc and Sharon’s. I eventually wound up at my original home in these caves. The little storage hole they had stuffed me in when I was a captive instead of family. I crouched down and found that I wasn’t able to enter the hole as it was so packed full with different foods. I remembered falling on the rice bags after I saw what Doc had been doing to my species. I shuddered at the memory. 

Their bodies, so small, so fragile, so innocent. Defenseless to the human’s violence and knives.

I know that they hadn’t done it again, but the agony, the smell, the sight will forever be etched into my brain. It reminded me of the news article I had read in the abandoned house Melanie and I had stopped at on our way here. The horrible stories of violence between humans, and between families, people they were supposed to protect. I know the humans deserved this planet, it was so beautiful, so rich, so magnificent, but it still causes an ache in my bones for how much pain can be brought by their species. But these humans, my humans, would not do those things. And I know they’d protect anyone from those fates as well. And that was all that mattered to me. I pulled myself away from my former home and continued down the hallway. 

I passed by the teetering cliff edge by the rushing hot stream that never resurfaced, where the floor had caved underneath me and Kyle. 

Another memory to shudder at, I suppose.

Ever since Sunny had come to the caves, an entirely different Kyle came to life. I never would have expected such a hotheaded, violent creature to be capable of such gentleness. The way he protected and cared for Sunny, the way he spoke to her with only kindness. It was nice to see what Kyle may have been like before the end of the world. She provided him so much comfort and joy and he provided her safety and happiness. 

I continued down the path, tracing my fingers along the smoothed out cave wall. I rounded the corner and started to head back towards the kitchen. The silver in my eyes reflected the small lanterns onto every passing wall and I felt comforted by the soft light they provided. I continued my leisurely pace and enjoyed wandering through my thoughts. My mind began to feel more and more relaxed and I finally began to feel tired. I decided it was time to try sleeping again, so I started on the path back to mine and Ian’s room. I walked past the bathing room, and was about to pass Jared and Mel’s room when I suddenly bumped into another body. I was walking so fast that the force of the human I hit knocked me to the floor. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I said softly, as the wind had been knocked out of my lungs. I looked up at the body I had hit after I had finished picking myself off and brushed the red cave dust off my clothes. 

“Are you alright? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” I said to the human who I now realized was Thatcher. 

“I’m fine.” He said gruffly, unmoved.  

He looked at me with eyes filled with hatred. Eyes I had seen a million times over when I had first entered these caves. 

“Just watch where you’re going next time, you might get hurt.” He said maliciously. 

I observed a complete lack of sympathy in his tone. It seemed to me that he wanted me to get hurt. That if I ran into him again, he was going to hurt me. 

Wanda, calm down. I’m sure that’s not what he meant. He lives with a soul and is a friend to beings like me.  He’s just frustrated because he didn’t expect to see you. 

“Oh, um, well, have a good night Thatcher, I’ll see you in the morning.”

He scoffed. “Yeah, good night Wanda.”

I resumed my walk, but my head was swimming once again. I knew why I was up walking the halls, it provided me comfort and peace when my mind wasn’t ready for rest. But why was Thatcher awake? We don’t really keep time in the caves, but I knew it was late enough that everyone should be asleep, or at least in their own rooms. No activity was supposed to be happening. And it was his first official night here, I can’t imagine there was anything for him to be doing in this area of the caves either. But maybe he was feeling restless, as it was his first official night. I know many of the humans, like Brandt, who couldn’t sleep on raids because it was unfamiliar to his body, so maybe Thatcher was experiencing the same? I didn’t know. 

I tried to not let it unnerve me, but I found my body sore from the impact on the hard cave ground, and from my mind that was finding it hard to think of anything else at the moment. Human bodies are very different from the other bodies I’ve inhabited in that way. The emotions were so intense. I felt it with Melanie first, her body was more prone to anger than Pet’s, who I don’t think ever experienced anger. Of course, that anger provided a surge of flaming heat through my body, happiness felt like a warm ocean breeze, fear, fear was different. Fear felt cold. Paralyzing. Like the icy tundras filled with claw beasts, and cold and dangers around every corner. Melanie’s body would tense up, and prepare to fight, but this body handled it completely the opposite. This body froze. Unsure, shaking, afraid of what terror the next move might bring. And this is exactly what happened. I forced my body to move and it did, in stiff and shaking movements. I continued down my original path back to my room, my breaths quickening. 

I slipped through the crack I had left in the door upon my departure and slowly slid under the blankets next to Ian. My body still had not stopped moving from the fear, and I was trying to slow my breathing to get the shaking to dissipate but I was not quick enough.

My shaking had woken Ian up unintentionally.

He groaned. “Wanda? What’s going on?”

“I’m scared,” I whispered back.

He turned over to face me.

“What’s wrong?”

“I couldn’t fall asleep so I decided to go for a walk and I was walking so fast and I didn’t even see him I just ran into him and I fell and I-” he cut me off. “Ok, woah Wanda, slow down. It’s okay, you’re safe and I’m here. But I’m gonna need you to breathe for a little bit so we can talk through this ok?” He sat up and put his hand on my back gently. I did as he said and took a few deep breaths and steadied myself. As I explained what happened, Ian moved his hand comfortingly across my back, staring intently, and listening to every word. Once I finished explaining why I was so distraught, he gave his reply.

“Oh my sweet Wanderer. Always wandering” he kissed my forehead gently. “That does sound pretty rattling, but I want you to know that there’s almost no one in these caves that wouldn’t protect you. I’m not quite sure what Thatcher meant by what he said, but I can make sure that you won’t be alone around him, if you’d like?” I nodded.  He stroked my chin. “I promise everything’s ok, and that you’re safe. Now come here and let me stop your shaking.” And with that he turned me over and pulled me in close, wrapping his arm around my waist. 

I breathed deeply and felt my fear start to dissipate. Ian always had such a gentle touch, such a way with words, such a safe presence. 

“I love you Wanda, try and get some rest, yeah?”

“Ok, I’ll try.” I promised. “I love you too, Ian.” And I meant it. I would try to rest and I did love him. 

I slowly felt his arms relax and his breathing get heavier again, though this time he didn’t turn over or let me go. Somehow even sleeping, Ian was comforting me. I began to feel my thoughts get slower and slowly but surely, I fell asleep. 

Ian and I woke up to Melanie’s teasing voice outside the door. “Wake up love birds! We’ve got a busy day!” 

I sat up and yawned audibly. 

“Yeah yeah Melanie, just because you and Jared get up at the crack of dawn like maniacs doesn’t mean everybody else has to,” I heard Ian say through the blankets covering his head. 

Melanie laughed. “Even Jamie got up before you two, and the kid sleeps all day! Now I’m sure I know what you two were doing to keep you up so late but I am very glad I didn’t hear it,” 

“Oh hush” I replied, feeling embarrassed.

“I’ll see you in the kitchen, yeah?”

“Yeah” Ian and I replied.We heard Melanie’s footsteps retreat down the hallway. 

Ian looked over to me and grabbed my hand. “Are you feeling any better after some rest?”

I nodded and rubbed my eyes, chasing away the drowsiness in them. Ian then stood and turned and offered me his hand. I took his hand and suddenly I found myself being spun around. My long curly hair spun in my face and I spit my tongue out to get all the hair off my mouth and nose. I looked up at Ian, smiling. He pulled me in and announced  ”The day is ours, should we choose to take it!”

“Then we must take it!” I said triumphantly with a giggle.

It was something we had started many weeks back. It was a raid day and we were messing around. The humans were informing me of their history, imitating people's voices and how they’d say things. Old tales of medieval castles, knights and princesses, kings and peasants. I was fascinated. I was always the storyteller, it was so nice to listen. Ian and Jamie began mimicking different accents and different phrases. Confusing ones from movies I had never seen because they were deemed too violent by the souls. “This is Sparta,” and “May the odds be ever in your favor,” “Why so serious?,””I’ll be back,” and so many more I can’t even begin to name. That day as we continued to prepare for the raid, the accompanying humans continued to talk with different accents and with odd phrasing. Right before we entered the vehicles Ian shouted out ,”The day is ours, should we choose to take it!” Jamie replied,”then we must take it!” And ever since then, on any day that any of us who were on the raid were feeling sick or poorly, we would use that phrase to cheer each other up. 

Ian and I finished getting ready for the day and headed to the kitchen to find everyone waiting. I noticed Thatcher's eyes were following every step I made and I grabbed Ian’s hand to ground me. 

I wish he wouldn’t look at me. Or at least tell me what he meant so I can stop worrying about him looking at me. 

I brushed off the thought and focused on my friends and family beckoning us over to them. Lily, Paige and the majority of the humans had joined Thatcher’s table and were asking him questions about his colony. Jamie greeted me and Ian and went to join them as well after he had said his good mornings. Melanie and Jared did not join them and remained in their usual spot, so after filling our plates, Ian and I joined them. Melanie looked at me and appeared thoughtful. 

“Wanda, would you mind to join me for a walk to the fields to check the harvest after we’re done eating?”

Always, she always can tell. I always forget she knows my mind better than I do.

“Yes, I’d like to see how the crops are coming along too.”

Ian and Jared shared confused glances and continued on eating without a comment. It was obvious that they knew we saw their confusion, and it was also obvious they were respecting Melanie and I’s bond. We were friends, we were sisters, and sometimes sisters need to talk. I’m sure Ian could guess why Melanie had asked me, as he had been there through my fear last night, and he could still read my worried expression. Jared, of course, could read my expression as well, but said nothing, which I appreciated. My worries felt small and silly and saying them outloud made me feel like I was making something out of nothing. You’re making mountains out of molehills , as Melanie used to say. 

We finished eating and Ian went to help with the construction project going on in our storage rooms, and Jared grabbed Jamie and the two helped carry some of the kitchen supplies from said construction site to the kitchen. Melanie and I began our walk to the fields. 

“So, do you want to tell me why you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“It’s nothing, it’s silly, really.” 

“Wanda, come on.”

“Ok, fine, but you have to promise not to laugh at me or anything of the sort.”

“Ok, I promise.”

And so I explained to her what I experienced and how I felt. She listened and nodded along as I told her what had happened.

“Normally, I’d tell you that you’re just being crazy, but I know you and I have learned to trust your instincts. I think nothing is probably wrong, but he is an outsider here, so just be cautious until we know him better.”

I nodded. It was nice to feel validated, especially coming from Melanie. And this was true, an outsider in the caves was an unfamiliar thing, so perhaps that is why I felt unnerved by my encounter with Thatcher.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4: Watched

It had been several days since I had run into Thatcher. Initially, every time I saw him I panicked, but eventually as it occurred more often and nothing happened, I resigned to the conclusion that it was just a moment. A blip, in an otherwise peaceful existence with him in the caves. I began to focus more on hobbies in the following days, as it felt safer to be around activities that didn’t involve any sort of weapon or item that Melanie had once perceived to be a weapon.  During the raid prior to this most recent one, I had decided it would be good to get items for the children in the caves. I got some simple toys and craft projects and books, and from there I decided I’d get more items for fun for the rest of us cave dwellers. I found old human games that were deemed safe by my kind, like Scrabble and Sorry. The adult humans in the caves who were familiar with the games made sure to note to me all of the differences the souls had made to the instructions. Where there was once fierce competition, it was now a gentle game. They had made fun of Sorry in particular, as they noted how the souls were so polite that of course they’d say Sorry for winning. 

Melanie and Jared were very competitive and I found it so amusing to watch her and Jared play against each other. She’d get loud and tell him he was cheating when she was losing and he’d do the same in return. I remembered how fiercely competitive she was from the game of soccer we had played against Ian while Jamie and Jared were out on the raid. 

I liked to focus more on the hobby items I had brought.  On all the planets I have lived on, the options for things to do to pass the time were so minimal. Ice sculpting on the Mists planet, storytelling with the Sea Weeds, every planet mainly had one focus. Something that was so beautiful about Earth was all of the options. There were so many things to try that I never did while I wasn’t in the caves. Painting, pottery, knitting, baking, so many creative outlets that this world had to offer. So many beautiful creations made from nothing that I had never gotten the opportunity to see. So many paintings, sculptures, buildings, so many pieces of literature, so many talented souls and humans.  I had begun to try the different hobbies one by one. My first attempt at hobbies was painting. I had discovered that this body had trouble with keeping its hands steady when trying to focus on the fine lines of painting. They would shake as I would try so hard to get everything from my head to be portrayed clearly on the canvases. After numerous tries, I had decided it was time to try something new. I had decided to try making things out of clay. I had also managed to get some books that were recommended by the store clerk for beginners who had just started with the hobby.

 I had decided that the room past the gameroom with a small glimpse of the underground spring would be the perfect place to set up a hobby room for everyone. I had figured that since that room had the flowing water, people would be able to rinse off their brushes if they’re painting, or collect water if they’re needing it for smoothing out edges of something they’re sculpting. Since the small portion of the spring that was showing was so miniscule, I also figured it’d be safer for Lucina’s small children to utilize the arts and crafts in this room as well. Her youngest, Freedom, who had been born in these caves, the child who I had barely seen when I first arrived in these caves because she had so thoroughly frightened them of me, had taken to joining anyone who was going to enter the craft room. I enjoyed the company of the small child, as I had little experience with this world’s young. The wonder in which Freedom saw everything, despite where she was being raised, was awe inspiring. While she still seemed to be frightened by Melanie, she seemed to be completely unaware as to why she was frightened of Melanie. She was particularly fascinated by the iridescent lights around my pupils. Freedom didn’t seem to grasp that those lights were why her mother was so against my presence in the caves initially, despite it having been explained to her many times. She simply did not care, and to me, I found that comforting. Once again, a human had given me hope for the potential cooperation of our species. 

I had been in the craft room for about an hour working on my most recent project when Melanie came and found me. She turned the corner to the entrance and I noticed her eyebrows raised with a certain sense of annoyance. I crinkled mine in return with a confused glance. She quickly answered my confusion, and I realized the annoyance on her face was not meant for me. 

“I think we’ve got a situation.” I heard the exasperation in her voice. 

Oh no.  

I quickly racked my brain, thinking of anything and everything that could have happened. I jumped up, my confused look replaced with one of concern. 

“There have been some sightings of seekers nearby. We’ve seen them on the road where we originally placed your car.”

I froze. 

“What?”

“We overheard them speaking about the disappearances of the souls we’ve been taking, especially about Lacey. Apparently, her annoying soul self left a note before she left to find us, and they found it last week. She told them exactly where she was going, and so now they are restarting the search. Lacey didn’t feel the need to tell us this extremely relevant information because she didn’t think it was “important.” I want to throttle her for her stupidity,” I grimaced at the violent imagery I had seen in her mind before of this action, “Sorry, but I still stand by it. Anyways, now everyone is pissed off at her, and she’s been a pain in the rear about it. Jeb is refusing to let anyone go out on raids until they’re gone, which could obviously be for weeks, if not months. So prepare for the onion soup and veggies and dry bread again, it might be a minute before we can get more fresh food. We don’t think there’s any real risk, but I just wanted to give you a heads up.”

I groaned audibly.

How is she still making our lives miserable when she’s not even on the planet anymore?

“I know, I don’t get it either.” She said, reading my expression easily. 

“She couldn’t have just made it easy for us to find peace, could she?”

“No, it wouldn’t appear so.” Melanie replied with a sigh. 

“Well, I’m sure Jeb is already prepared for something like this, but I’m sure he’ll have a list of things he’ll need us to do to ensure our safety.” I mused out loud as I began putting away the supplies I was using to work on the odd shaped vase I was attempting to perfect. 

“You would be correct about that,” She laughed. “He’s already got half the cave working on some project or another, our boys are off doing who knows what to seal any possible visual to the inside without preventing airflow. Jeb wants you and me to start preparing backup cactus soap in case for some ungodly reason we run out of our current supplies.”

Well, doing something is better than doing nothing, and it’d be nice to keep my hands busy and distract myself from worrying so much. 

I finished putting everything away and followed Melanie out of the room. As we walked through the corridor to the bathing room to gather the existing stock of soap, I noticed some of the humans looking at me warily. Maggie and Sharon held the most hateful of stares, as per usual, but I also noticed that some of the humans who had taken much longer to adjust to my presence in the caves had resumed their hesitation due to the new danger. This confused me greatly, as I had nothing to do with the seeker leaving the letter.

 Yes, I am a soul, but how am I at fault for this?  

I gently tapped Melanie’s arm as we walked and nodded my head slightly at some of the people staring. She looked and started glaring at the people who were passing looks towards me. She then responded to my indication much louder than I perceived to be necessary. 

“Anyone in here who has any suspicions about you is an idiot, Wanda.” 

“You didn’t have to say it so loudly.” I mumbled in return. 

“I may not have needed to but it felt good calling them what they are. If they’re going to be so stubborn after this much time with you here, they deserve to be called an idiot and I’m not going to hold their hand when I say it.” She replied, back to her usual speaking volume. 

I don’t know what else I can do to prove to these humans I would never cause them harm. Haven’t I proved I would never turn us in by now? I’ve left the caves so many times, and never done anything to endanger any of their lives. 

“What do I do?”

“Nothing. We live life as normal and they get over it.” Melanie said plainly.

“I don’t think I like that.” 

“I know, Wanda, but there’s nothing much else you can do. You have proved yourself time and time again, you’ve even saved bullheaded morons like Kyle.” She replied more gently, wrapping her arm around mine, so we were entwined at the elbow. 

“Thank you.” I touched my head to her arm for a quick second, leaning on her softly. 

“Always.”

We spent the rest of the day together working our hands raw on the stinging soap that Jeb had created ages ago. We took breaks every hour or so to rest and give our hands and backs a break from the discomfort. During one of the breaks, Jamie came down and found us as he was also taking a short break. He began telling us about what him and Ian and Jared were doing, and how Thatcher had been complaining about having to help in a place that he doesn’t even live in. Melanie scoffed at this, but said nothing. We listened to Jamie tell us about how his hands were getting slimy from the mud they were using to temporarily seal some of the gaps that had the most potential to be seen. 

We hadn’t worried about them prior, because the seeker had been so clueless to where we actually were that no one actually knew what they were looking for, even in the helicopter. But unfortunately, once she had figured out the drawn out map lines of the peaks and ridges, she had been much more specific about our potential whereabouts in her letter. So, sealing the largest gaps had become a priority. The sunlight was becoming less and less visible in the caves, much to mine and the rest of the underground population’s chagrin. I tried to remind myself that it wasn’t going to last forever, just until the danger of discovery had passed. I was prepared nonetheless, for at least a season’s worth of unnatural light. It reminded me of something I had been told about when I had first come to this planet. The healers had informed me that sunlight was very important to these bodies, that it provided vitamins that the body needed. Most importantly, vitamin D, so it was recommended that everyone had daily time in the sunlight, or if that was not available, to take the vitamins provided at many of the local stores. Melanie had also told me about something called seasonal depression, that was caused by the shorter days and lack of sun in areas that experienced colder winters so people couldn’t get their necessary vitamins the sun provided. I thought it was slightly ironic, how I had gone from a planet where the only nutrients you received were from the sun, to a planet where you still needed sunlight to promote health. 

Melanie and I continued to listen to Jamie regaling us with the woes of his chore, and about how even though there was work to be done, he still had to go to class with Sharon later. She was bound to be in a foul mood with everything that was going on, so I did not blame him with the groan that escaped his mouth when he was telling us his frustrations.