Chapter Text
Cat Noir POV : As i flew through the city of Paris,i felt this vibration in my chest. My spidey senses tingled and I immediately knew what was wrong.
Some place in Osaka, Japan, some helpless girl needed my help. From what I could sense, she was being mauled and continuously being harassed by a bear looking creature and some guy with onion looking hair.
I immediately headed to her rescue. I didn't even know her name but i could sense her beauty from 6 continents away,the aura around her was strong and i thought to myself, “I'll save you Mitsuki Y/N.”
*Intense phonk music playing in the background*
End of Cat Noir POV.
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Y/N being the damsel in distress she always is, began running away from the commotion. One of her socks accidentally fell off her delicate and tiny feet. Bakugo,who was chasing her all this time,decided to pick her socks up and began sobbing inside it and his tears collected in the socks. He then went home to squeeze the teary sock and began drinking it for protein.
“Ahh…tastes just like my mommy,” he said.
Gojo, who was rummaging through the town like a boomerang,was caught by a tranquilizer and began falling face flat on the comic book store.
Y/N,who lost her sock, went to the comic book store to get another pair.
“Hello uncle Audrey,can i get another so- GOJO??? OH HELL NAH BRO IS TWERKING💀🫸🏻🫷🏻” (i cant find the praying emoji cuh💔BRO PLEASE FIND THE EMOJI 💔 no👃🏻)
Gojo looked at her eyes,filled to the max with diamond tears that made her eyes glisten like Lencho’s field after rain. He immediately realized what he had dàone….
“I'm so…gomenasai princess kun…” he said as he delicately picked her up and began flying her upside down. She was so tiny and petite he almost didn't feel her in his arms. She was even lighter than the air which is of refractive index 1.003.
In another world, tralalero tralala was scrolling through facebook. He had seen the news of the socks left behind by delicate princess moon. He immediately opened telegram and began typing, “°°°°°•••••=•••••===••••=========” which is morse code for “Nigga”
Kageyama, being the °°°°••••=••••======== he is, immediately got offended.
Back to Gojo and Y/N,they were fleeing away like birds of a feather. Y/N innocently looks up at his chin, such a defined jawline. She could see right through his chin that he was hiding his sadness….
She touches his face, “Gojo…you know you can tell me anything right…? I know you hide your pain with a smile…I know how it feels to be taken advantage of and thrown to the side…”
Gojo finally broke down in tears. “You…you…you noticed…? Heh…I guess I'm so used to being strong that I don't even know how to handle emotions…I've never had someone care for me…but it's okay…i can bear the pain” He said with a sad smile.
Y/N thought to herself…”Such a tough soul…”
Jimin,who was standing on air was observing the two. He clenched his jaw and his fist in anger and began biting his forehead at the thought of Y/N with another man. He couldn't take the anger anymore and had to let his anger out.
One of his minions said, “Calm down Jimin…We know what you can do when you're angry…Spare us please…”
Jimin’s eyes turned red. The demons inside of him were fighting to be let out…
He smirked and said, “No more being Mr Nice Guy, If they treat me like the bad guy, I'll BE the bad guy…”
He let out his paws and his ears began forming. A long wolf tail emerged from his butt crack.
He held back tears and thought, “Is this what I've become? Would mother be proud of this…?” He felt betrayed. By his friends,by his family,by the world.
He clenched his butt cheeks and his heart, and let out a sigh.
“I’ll show you what I can do when you make me angry…”
But suddenly, tripi tropa who was stuck in Jimin’s nostrils, whispered to him.
“Tatakae. Tatakae. Tatakae.”
Jimin smirked. He let Tripi Tropa influence him. A shadow came over his head as tears of blood came out of his complete black deadly eyes and his fangs enlarged.
“Omae wa mou…Shinderu…”
He crazily pointed his finger at Gojo, his body swinging from side to side and he growled in the huskiest voice.
He stuck his venom tongue out and swirled it around as saliva droplets flew, and screamed,
“BAAAAKA!”
He then started naruto running towards Gojo at 420km/hr.
At this time, Gojo was using his six eyes to remember every molecule of y/n. This served to be useful as he sensed Jimin’s nike shoes cumming.
Attack on Titan ost played as Gojo took out the underwear on his head, revealing his jaw dropping delicious glowing sugoi eyeballs.
Jimin slammed his large toes towards Gojo in one quick strike. Gojo countered it with his giant buttcheeks.
Y/n looked at Gojo who seemed to have defended her from the incoming assault.
She stared at him with teary eyes.
“I-I-I-I-, A-arigato G-Gojo kun…!”
Gojo smiled brightly even though his butt started aching.
“No worries.. y/n chan… it's what I do best…”
Y/n lightly licked Gojo's eyebrow.
“Do your best… Dattebayo…”
[From afar, Naruto an inch away from Sasuke’s face, sneezed loudly.]
This seemed to have given Gojo more horse power.
Light glowed from his eyes and Gojo floated upwards very slowly at 1 cm per hour.
He jumped up and farted out the brightest laser beam towards Jimin.
Jimin stared in shock and the laser beam hit him.
He was launched 6 soccer fields backwards and gave birth to Tony Tony chopper.
The smoke calmed down and it revealed Gojo walking nonchalantly towards him.
Jimin smirked and spat towards the ground. He still had one trick up his armpits.
“I've been diagnosed with ligma..”
Gojo asked with a frown, “what's tha-”
Gojo’s giant bulging abs shook as he realised what was about to come.
He posed flexing his biceps and toned back and screamed with tears in his eye.
Jimin sang it out like an opera, ”LIGMA BALLS”
Gojo fell back and y/n whimpered inside a bottle cap because she's so small and tiny.
Jimin,empowered by his inner demons,yelled at the top of his voice, “I DECLARE,WAR OF THE BOPS”
700.5 meters away, Kageyama and the llama crew lined up in rows. They all had in their hands,what looked like forks.
“SOLDIERS,CHARGE” yelled Kageyama. The llama crew began throwing forks at everyone who was there. Unfortunately, Y/N happened to be one of the people. But before the fork could hit her,someone came to her rescue.
She looked up to see a skinny guy in a black jumpsuit with hair of the shiniest blonde.
“Fear not princess, for I am here” He said as he picked her up from the rooftop of the comic book store.
Jimin and Gojo were too busy attacking each other to even notice that their princess was yet again taken by another man. They've got a lot of competition competing for Y/N.
Cat Noir took her to a secluded area and began breastfeeding her. “Drink…drink as much as u need princess” he assured her.
Y/N began grabbing it and made smure every drop went into her mouth and her mouth only. She had no intentions of getting freaky with this man but she’s always had a thing for men in tight jumpsuits.
Hearing about the news of the war that broke out, Tralalero knew he had to take action. He immediately assembled his Italiano supremo and they all marched to the wall of Laimukhrah as they continuously chanted a ritual.
They were there not to add more fuel to the fire,but to bring peace among all. One by one,they began arresting perpetrators and sent them to exile in the village of Sahur.
Thankfully, John Pork rang up Kageyama at that exact time.
“Need some help?” He smirked in a sexy tone.
Kageyama tensely replied, “Yes.”
John Pork appeared riding Crocodilo Bombardino.
Tralalero Tralala felt betrayed by his brother Crocadillo Bombardino.
John Pork released his cheese gooner magnet technique.
Hundreds of fried chicken packaging and cheese flew towards him and covered him as armour.
However, Karma Akabane, using his intelligence, used grass bullets to shoot at John Pork.
“Kuek…”
John Pork choked out. Yellow blood (his blood is 90% fat) came out from his mouth.
“U-unfair…,” John Pork said before collapsing.
Crocadilo Bombardino calmly said, “NOOOOOOO”, and snatched John Pork away.
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A while later:
Kageyama lost the battle of the bops along with his llama crew and Jimin won a splendid victory. Jimin,along with his crew,marched all the way to the public gas station and forced the opposing team to sign the treaty of icecream.
This brought an end to all of Jimin’s problems…Or so he thought?
In another place at another time,Y/N was clinging onto Cat Noir like a hungry cub waiting for food from mama lion. She had not noticed the ruckus she had caused back there and all she cared about was the taste of milky milk and her subway surfers high score.
Sir Yagami,having seen all of that, couldn't believe his eyes…everything he wrote in that little note of his became true…He smirked and thought to himself, “It all went according to my plan…i manipulated them into commiting such horrendous acts and forced them to go against each other. They c an no longer suspect me of criminal activities when such a mass killing like this takes place…What do you think of that L? This is my perfect victory…THAT'S RIGHT,I WIN”
tbc