Chapter Text
A ray of light shone through the cracks in the curtain. Shadow slowly came to his senses and covered his eyes with the back of his hand. He didn’t need to look at the clock beside the bed to know that it was already midmorning. The sunlight was hot, and he could hear the dull rumble of traffic rising from the streets of Central City.
He lay in silence, listening to the sound of soft breathing in his ear. He’d used to get up at six in the morning. He’d used to avoid sleeping at all, for that matter. But for better or worse, his partner’s habits had rubbed off on him over the years. He sat up, wincing at the pain of half-healed injuries, and smoothed back his quills. Then he turned and gently drew the covers up over Rouge’s shoulders.
Shadow eased himself out of bed, taking care to avoid waking her, and pulled on his gloves. His inhibitor rings lay in a dish on the bedside table. The burnished, scratched metal reflected his expression.
It had taken years, but Rouge had finally convinced him to take breaks from wearing the rings, even if only for a few hours. He had resisted, at first. If he didn’t wear his rings, then he would grow weak, and his stamina would fade. But she had promised him that the risk would be worth it. That night, he had ended up lying beneath her in bed, in this very apartment. The neon signs and street lights of Central City had shone like the stars in the sky, bearing witness to their breathless laughter. His discarded rings had been scattered across the floor, and his afterglow had done nothing to mask his exhaustion. He had been weak and vulnerable, but … he had been safe.
He had found someone with whom he could truly let his guard down. He had found a fleeting sense of normalcy – moments of tender intimacy reflected in burnished gold. It hadn’t been easy, but she had been right. It was worth it. The ray of sunlight fell across him, and he felt a faint warmth in his chest.
Shadow slipped out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him. The penthouse apartment was flooded with sunshine. He padded through to the kitchen and turned the kettle on. He’d done this thousands of times, to the point where adding the coffee grounds to the French press and steaming the milk had become muscle memory. As the coffee steeped, he leaned against the counter, looking out through the floor-to-ceiling windows that framed the sprawling metropolis of Central City. The pale ghost of the broken moon was visible in the searing blue sky.
The bitter scent of coffee wafted through the apartment, and he turned away from the window. He poured for both of them – café noir and caffè misto – and padded back to the bedroom.
Rouge’s face was buried in her pillow, but she stirred as he opened the bedroom curtains and flooded the room with light. ‘… What time is it?’
Shadow sat beside her. He drew both legs up onto the bed, holding out one cup to her. ‘Time for coffee.’
‘Coffee?’ Rouge slowly sat up, covering her mouth with one hand as she yawned. Then her gaze landed on the caffè misto, and her eyes widened. ‘Oh, aren’t you sweet?’ Her hands brushed his as she took the cup from him, and she raised her eyebrows over the rim. ‘When did you stop eating raw coffee beans?’
Shadow cupped his mug in his hands, and the warmth seeped into his palms. ‘I didn’t. But there’s always leftover coffee in the French press when I make yours.’ He half-smiled. ‘It would be a waste to tip it out.’
Rouge looked back at him in confusion. ‘Always?’ A smile spread across her face. ‘You say that as though you’ve been doing this for years.’
Shadow’s chest began to ache, and he sipped his coffee. ‘… I’ve been doing it for a little while.’
‘Hm.’ Rouge rubbed her eyes with one hand and grimaced. ‘What did we do last night? I’ve got a hangover like you wouldn’t believe.’
‘We had a glass of wine and an early night,’ Shadow said dryly. ‘You’ve got a headache, not a hangover.’
Rouge blinked several times. ‘Are you sure it was just one glass?’
‘Yes. You’re just tired.’
Rouge stared at him skeptically. Then she sighed and began to drink her coffee. ‘A glass of wine and an early night? When did we become so boring?’
Shadow tilted his mug, swirling his coffee. ‘“Boring” isn’t a luxury that we could afford when we were younger.’
‘Believe me, I know.’ Rouge’s voice was quiet. ‘Sometimes I wonder if this is just a dream that I’ll wake up from one day.’ Then she shrugged elegantly and gave him a wry grin. ‘But you’re one to talk about being younger. You haven’t aged a day since the day we met, darling.’
Shadow tried to force a smile. ‘It’s a meagre consolation.’ He lowered his voice to a timbre that was reserved for her alone, with a softness and warmth that no one else ever heard. ‘I would have preferred to grow old with you.’
Rouge stared at him. Then she threw back the last of her coffee and swallowed forcefully, slipping out of bed. ‘It’s too early for this, you damn romantic.’ She sauntered over to her dressing table, looking down at herself in disgust. She was wearing a pale pink button-up shirt and shorts. ‘What is this? Is all of my lingerie in the wash?’ She sat down, and Shadow’s chest tightened as she faced the mirror. ‘I look like an old woman –’
Rouge caught sight of her reflection and froze. He could only see the back of her head, but even her smallest movements spoke volumes. Her ears twitched, flattening slightly, and her shoulders curved inwards.
Shadow set his coffee cup down and got up, sitting on the ottoman behind her dressing table. He turned her chair to face him, and the lights of the makeup mirror outlined her silhouette in gold.
Shadow cupped Rouge’s face with one hand. Her face was marked with laughter lines, and there were faint creases beneath her eyes. The tanned arms that had held him during the best and worst moments of his life were now weathered. Her soft white fur was threaded with strands of silver.
Over the years, his smiles had often been forced – a means of comforting the people he loved. But even though it wasn’t always easy, he didn’t have to force it anymore. He caressed Rouge’s face with his thumb and gave her a soft smile. ‘You look like the woman I fell in love with. Nothing else matters.’
Rouge’s eyes widened. She blinked several times and turned back to the mirror. ‘Who are you, faker?’ she muttered. ‘Shadow would have told me to stop whining and be grateful that I have the luxury of growing old.’
Shadow stood up and walked over to the armchair in the corner of the room, pulling it forward so that he could sit beside her. ‘Believe me, I’ve said those exact words to you many times.’ He lowered himself into the chair and rested his head in one hand. ‘You’ve just forgotten.’
Rouge gazed at her reflection and bit her lip, twisting an eyeliner pen between her fingers. ‘I thought you were the one with memory problems.’ She uncapped the pen and murmured, ‘We make a right pair, don’t we?’
Shadow leaned forward and picked up the eyeshadow palette lying on the makeup table, feigning interest. The moment she noticed it in his hand, Rouge abruptly set the eyeliner pen down and took the palette from him. ‘You could have just said that I was doing it out of order.’
‘You were doing it out of order?’
Rouge gave him a bemused look and snapped the palette open. ‘I don’t know what to do with you sometimes.’ The palette only contained a single pan of pigment – a deep sky blue. Mysteriously, it never ran out. Shadow tried to keep his expression blank as the price, name and item code of it came to mind, unbidden. Rouge picked up a brush, swirling it in the powder, and tapped off the excess. She gave him a regretful look. ‘Sometimes I wonder if you’re even the same person that I used to know.’
‘Of course I’m the same person, damn it.’ Rouge’s eyes warmed with recognition, and he half-smiled. He’d used to use expletives like commas, and he still did, even to this day. But he was gentler with her. Over time, she had rounded off his sharp edges, like ocean waves abrading sea glass. ‘I’m the same person,’ he said, in a softer tone of voice. ‘But you made me better.’
’I must have made you more patient, at the very least.’ Rouge swiftly applied her eyeshadow, and her voice was tinged with regret. ‘How often have you had to explain this to me?’
Shadow cleared his throat. ’Once or twice.’
Rouge picked up the eyeliner pen again and held it to her eye, gazing at her reflection in the mirror. ‘Once or twice? Don’t …’ Faint tremors ran up and down her arm, and she froze.
Shadow turned her chair to face him again, and he gently took the pen out of her hand. ‘Let me help.’
Rouge narrowed her eyes at him. ‘I’m not letting you do my eyeliner.’
‘I have a confirmed sniper kill of 4,000 yards,’ Shadow said. ‘I have steady hands.’
‘You’re humble, too.’ Rouge tossed her head and closed her eyes. ‘Fine. Do your worst, smartass.’
Shadow sighed and held the pen in his fingertips. He rested his other hand on his thigh, letting his Chaos Emerald materialise in his hands. He’d used Chaos Control so many times over the years. Saying the two words came as naturally to him as breathing. Yet each time he used his powers now, they were fraught with temptation. But he had already learned the painful lesson that no relationship would last forever. They may have been polar opposites, but neither Maria nor Rouge had wanted to be frozen in time.
Ageing might be a cruel fate, but living outside of time was even crueller. It was a fate that he wouldn’t wish on anyone … least of all those whom he loved.
‘Chaos Control.’ Shadow’s voice was quiet, and the world turned grey. He rested one hand against Rouge’s cheek, drawing on a motionless canvas with careful strokes. He didn’t need to use Chaos Control to do this, and no doubt she would chide him for wasting his powers on something so trivial. But he knew how important her looks were to her, especially as she continued to age.
The irony was that he didn’t even care what she looked like. He only cared about how she made him feel – safe, valued and appreciated. The first time he had commented on her looks was in a motel room in Mejico. They had been holed up for a stakeout. He might not need to sleep, but she had been abusing adrenaline patches for days. She had been sitting beside him on a creaky bed, wearing a faded white t-shirt. She had glanced up from her laptop, complaining about the encryption methods of the drug traffickers they were hunting. Her face was bare, she had shadows under her eyes, and she had given him a weary smile.
He had told her she was beautiful. She had told him he was out of his damn mind.
Shadow capped the eyeliner pen, and time resumed. Rouge blinked several times and sighed in exasperation. ‘… You cheated.’
‘According to what rules?’
‘You shouldn’t waste your powers on something so trivial –’
‘Oh, spare me.’ Shadow leaned back in his chair. ‘With the way you talk, you would think that my powers are limited.’
‘They’re supposed to be limited.’ Rouge looked over her shoulder, at his inhibitor rings, and her concern was evident. ‘Or inhibited, so to speak.’
‘I won’t die if I’m not wearing my rings.’
‘But why are you leaving them off for so long?’
Shadow braced his hands against his knees, stood up and walked over to the bed. He slipped on his shoes, which were battered and scratched from years of use. His wrist guards had fared no better. Their stitching was beginning to come loose, and he was no seamster. He put his inhibitor rings on one by one, locking them into place. ‘Because you told me to.’
‘I did?’ Rouge pivoted in her chair, and she looked like she was going to panic. ‘When did I say that? Why did I say that?!’
Shadow strode back over, assuaging her concern with a swift shake of his head. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘It does matter!’ she protested. ‘Why would I tell you to do something so risky?’
Shadow sat back down in the armchair, crossing one leg over the other. ‘Because you wanted to try something new in the bedroom.’ Rouge’s jaw dropped, and Shadow’s mouth twitched. A laugh rumbled in his chest.
‘I did not say that.’ Rouge placed a hand on his chest and gave him a shove. ‘I did not say that!’
‘… You didn’t say it exactly like that.’ Shadow caught her hand and interlocked his fingers with hers. He met her gaze, and his voice was frank. ‘You wanted me to know what it was like to be mortal. To feel tired. To feel loved. To feel warmth. When I removed my rings that night, it was a calculated risk.’
Rouge hesitated. Her grip on his hand tightened. ‘Was it worth it?’
Shadow saw his expression reflected in her eyes. Despite himself, his gaze softened. ‘Yes.’ He squeezed her hand and gave her a brief kiss on the wrist. ‘Yes, it was worth it.’
Rouge averted her eyes, and her gaze landed on her reflection. She turned to him and pointed at her eyeliner. ‘How many times have you done this?’
Shadow cleared his throat. ‘A few times.’
Rouge set her makeup brush down and gave him an unimpressed look. ‘I’m GUN’s best spy, darling. Don’t bullshit me.’ Shadow winced, but it was too late. Rouge’s eyes lit up, and she asked, ‘Oh, do you know if we’ve received any new missions yet?’
Shadow leaned back in his chair, trying to steady his voice and his gaze. ‘There haven’t been that many missions on offer. It’s been peaceful.’
‘Can’t you ask Abe?’ Rouge pleaded. ‘I’m sure he could find something for us to do.’
Shadow stood up and walked towards the door, picking up his battered flip phone from the bedside table as he left. ‘… I’ll call him.’
‘Thanks, darling.’ Rouge grimaced. ‘You know I could always call him instead, right? I am the team leader, after all, and I know you two never got on all that well.’
Shadow stood in the doorway for a moment, and his voice was quiet when he spoke again. ‘It’s no trouble.’ He hesitated. ‘The commander and I may have had our differences, but we both made our peace with what happened.’
‘I’m glad.’ Rouge gave him a sympathetic look. ‘That you made amends, I mean. I know you don’t talk about him much any more.’ She blinked and stared at her reflection. ‘Or maybe you have, and I’ve just forgotten.’
‘No.’ Shadow shook his head. ‘I don’t talk about him any more.’
Shadow walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, making sure it was firmly shut. Then he trudged into the living room and sank onto the sofa. He dragged a cushion onto his lap, and his gaze wandered. A pair of dirty wine glasses sat on the coffee table, and one had lipstick stains on it. Glossy tabloid magazines were piled on top of a firearm manual. A DVD lay on the far end of the table – a romantic comedy in a broken plastic case.
Shadow opened the flip phone, clumsily pressing the keys as he shielded his eyes from the glare of the sun. He took a deep breath, then he held the phone to his ear.
A synthesised voice that he’d heard hundreds of times greeted him. ‘Your call could not be connected. Please check the number and try again.’
Shadow hugged the cushion to his chest and lowered his eyes. ‘… Commander.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Agent Rouge wants to know whether we have any pending assignments. She’d call you herseslf, but she’s …’ Shadow gestured vaguely with one hand. ‘… Getting ready.’ He held the phone closer to his ear. ‘No? Nothing? All right. Well, we’ll be on standby if you need us.’
Shadow cleared his throat again, and his chest tightened. ‘No, I’m not coming over again. I’ve already met your grandson.’ He lowered his voice and said, ‘Yes, we’re doing well. Both of us are. I’ll talk to you again soon.’ He removed the phone from his ear, but he couldn’t bring himself to hang up. He finally dug the heel of his thumb into the red button that would end the call, and heard a faint beep.
Shadow tossed the phone onto the couch and buried his face in one hand, taking a deep breath. Then he took another. He almost never got emotional. When he was younger, he had repressed his emotions, tamping them down until he was able to function on a day-to-day basis. He didn’t need to be happy. He didn’t need to eat or sleep, for that matter. He had been created to be the Ultimate Life Form, but he hadn’t been created to be alone. He had been given a heart and all of the emotions that came with it.
‘Darling?’ Shadow turned to see Rouge leaning around the doorway. She gave him an affectionate smile.
‘Oh.’ Shadow rubbed his face with one hand. ‘Right. Abraham …’
‘I heard everything.’ Rouge tipped her head to one side, and her ears twitched. ‘You do remember that I have exceptional hearing, right?’
‘My amnesia isn’t that bad, woman.’
Rouge glared at him and stalked over, hauling him off the sofa. Her bones might be brittle, but she was still extremely strong. ‘Don’t you “woman” me, old man.’
Shadow smirked, steadying himself against her shoulder. ‘“Old man”? I was only in stasis for 50 years. Stop holding it over my head.’
Rouge placed her hands on her hips and struggled not to smile. ‘I’ll do whatever I damn well want.’
Shadow shook his head and smiled back. ‘If you heard everything I said, then you’ll know that we don’t have any new assignments.’ For a moment, Rouge looked disappointed, but he continued to speak. ‘Which means that we have the day off.’
‘Which means?’
Rouge’s expression was unreadable, and Shadow leaned forward, searching her eyes. ‘What do you think it means?’
‘I think it means that you spend all day and night working on that precious bike of yours.’ Rouge heaved a sigh. ‘That’s usually what you do when you have a moment of free time, isn’t it?’
Shadow rested his hands on Rouge’s shoulders. ‘I think it means that your memory is getting a bit worse.’
Rouge gave Shadow a swift kick in the ankle. Her bare foot bounced off the ankle of his boot, but the shock reverberated through his leg. ‘How dare you –’
‘Easy, easy.’ Shadow squeezed her shoulders. ‘It means that I get to spend the whole day with the woman I love.’
Rouge’s eyes widened, and she blushed, tossing her head in indignation. ‘You know, I don’t remember falling in love with a lovesick puppy.’
‘I don’t remember falling in love with a thief who was too afraid to take what she wanted,’ Shadow retorted. Rouge stared at him in bewilderment, and he tapped his chest. ‘I’m the same person you’ve always known, but you chipped away at my indifference for years. You earned my trust ten times over. You earned my heart. It’s right here. Take it.’
Rouge hesitated. ‘Are you sure?’
‘What’s the matter?’ Shadow forced a smile. ‘I know you hate fake jewels, but do you also dislike artificial hearts?’
It took a moment for Rouge to register the meaning of his words, but once she did, she knotted his fingers into the fur on his chest and pulled him closer. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. I just don’t want you to get … hurt.’
‘Have you forgotten how selfish you are?’
Rouge lowered her gaze, and he could feel his heart beating against her palm. ’No. I remember the old days, you know. I remember how things used to be. How we were. I remember that we weren’t always …’ She looked around, and her gaze drifted from the champagne glasses to the crumpled bedsheets framed by the open door of their room. ‘… Like this.’
‘It took us a long time to get to this point, Rouge.’ Shadow’s voice was a quiet whisper. ‘We’re only going to get to spend so many years together. Don’t waste any more of those years than I already have.’
Rouge’s hand tightened on his fur. Then she wrapped her arms around him, and he leaned into her, closing his eyes as her fingertips traced the ghost of a diamond-shaped scar on his back. Her knee grazed his inner thigh, and she spoke into his neck. ‘You said we have the whole day together?’
He grunted and bit back a smile. ‘We have all day and all night –’
Rouge pushed him against the wall, and the heels of his shoes hit the skirting board. She gave him a coy smile, and his fur stood on end as her fingertips brushed the nape of his neck. ‘You said to “take it”, remember? Or is your memory worsening as well?’
Despite himself, Shadow felt his face begin to warm. 'I was talking about my heart, not my dignity. You’re shameless, aren’t you?’
‘Why would I be ashamed?’ Rouge’s gaze softened. ‘Don’t you love me for who I am?’
Shadow’s hands rested on her waist. ‘Of course I do –’
His words were abruptly cut off when she kissed him. It was fleeting, but imbued with passion. She tasted like coffee and wine. He leaned against the wall, closing his hands around fistfuls of pink silk. He didn’t want to let her go. He didn’t know how.
Rouge finally broke the kiss and looked up at him. She may have changed inside and out, but some things were still the same. Her eyes were still the colour of shallow ocean waves, and she was still the person whom he had come to trust all those years ago.
She was the person whom he had come to love.
‘Well?’ Shadow murmured. ‘I’m all yours.’ He had been hers for far longer than she would ever know or remember. His heart began to ache, but he smiled anyway. It had taken decades, but he had finally made his peace with the fact that loving someone could be painful. It was the price of admission.
’I’m all yours … So what do you want to do?’