Chapter Text
Eddie left for Texas last week, and Buck was handling it. He was fine. Sure, Buck still hadn’t unpacked or actually slept in Edd-- his house ever since his lease was up three days ago, but he was fine. His best friend was gone, and Buck. Was. Fine.
Buck wasn’t fine. As much as he wants to blame Ravi for what happened, he really can’t, because look, he gets it, he can be really fucking annoying after a few drinks, and Ravi saw his ex and took that as an opportunity.
Buck took that (incredibly stupid, horrible, immediately regrettable) opportunity, slept with the man he doesn’t even have feelings for, and was therefore introduced to his newest crisis.
Apparently, several people in his life seem to think that he, Evan Buckley, is in love with his very straight best friend, Eddie Diaz.
He isn’t.
Just to clarify.
Probably.
After his conversation with Maddie, Buck actually unpacks everything. The kitchen is now stocked, the couch is in the same place it’s been for the past seven-ish years, (Buck tried several other spots, but nothing felt quite… right ), and Buck feels like he can breathe again.
Except, later that night when he tries to sleep in E-- his room, he can’t. Everything just emphasises the complete and utter lack of Eddie and Christopher, the two people who truly made this house a home.
Buck tries moving to the couch, hopeful that his body might recognise this, and finally let him rest.
It does not.
“Fuck.” Buck sighs, staring blankly at the ceiling. He checks his phone. An incriminating 02:28 stares back at him. He has work in about six hours.
Buck wakes up to tiny hands slapping his face. “Uncle Buck sleep over again!”
“Yeah, baby, and you can help Appa wake him up, right?” Is that Chimney? Where is he right now? Buck blearily opens his eyes, and the first thing he sees is the absolutely delighted face of his little niece.
“Appa!” Jee-Yun squeals, “Uncle Buck is awake! He’s awake!” She then launches her tiny body onto his own, and Buck groans as the air is punched out of him.
“Hey, sweetheart!” Buck summons as much enthusiasm as he can. “How is my favourite niece this morning?”
Jee-Yun giggles. “I’m your, your only niece!” She says, folding her arms in a mini pout that is easily seen through by the delight on her face. Buck scoops her up and props her onto one of his shoulders, causing her to squeak and latch onto his hair in an iron-clad grip. Buck winces, but trucks through the pain.
“Are you?!” He exclaims. “Well, in that case you are my most favourite!”
“You’re gonna give her a complex, Buck.” Chimney voices from the kitchen. “Also you’ve got twenty minutes to eat breakfast and then we gotta go.”
Buck scoffs, getting to his feet with Jee-Yun still firmly on his shoulder. “As if you and Maddie don’t spoil her enough already. Plus, she’ll have competition soon.” He says, with a pointed look at Chimney.
“Buck, I am not a seahorse. Now put my perfect daughter down and eat something so you aren’t just complaining about how hungry you are at work.”
“You were listening to my seahorse facts? Chim, you do love me!” Buck grins, batting his eyelashes.
“Appa loves Uncle Buck!” Jee-Yun chirps happily.
Chimney snatches Jee-Yun away from Buck and tucks her under his arm like she’s the medical equipment he carries on calls. She squirms delightedly and kicks her legs against his back.
“Appa won’t love Uncle Buck if he spends the next 48 hours listening to a grown man grouch the whole time.” Chimney says in an overly sweet voice to Jee-Yun. “It’s bad enough that Uncle Eddie’s not here, we don’t want to deal with a sad, hungry Buck, do we?”
Buck glances at the scrambled eggs and toast that had been pre-dished onto a plate for him. “I’m not going to be that bad.” His stomach growls.
Chimney stares at him judgmentally.
Jee-Yun wriggles again.
Buck sighs, and starts eating.
“He called me sad! I’m not sad-- well, not anymore, at least I don’t think so? I’m not sad.” Buck says frustratedly, as he makes his way through a crowd of people.
“Buck.” Ravi says, tiredly. “You’re really fucking sad.”
Buck groans. “But I shouldn’t be! I should be happy for him. Eddie had to move to be with his son! And he is, and he’s working on his relationship with Chris. Eddie is finally going for what he wants, not what others want. Ergo, I should be happy for him.”
“Excuse me, sir,” Ravi says professionally, “I need you to take a step back, there's a possible gas leak and we can’t have anyone within the vicinity.” He glances over his shoulder to see Buck slowly shepherding people backwards. “Buck, for the love of god, have an actual conversation with the guy. Please .”
Buck whines like a child, because he needs people to stop providing him with rational answers and just indulge in his own idiotic (and very messy) feelings. Without, y’know, telling him he might be in love with his best friend.
He doesn’t get to say anything else, because the house they’re herding this crowd of people away from explodes, and suddenly there are more important matters to attend to.
About 27 hours into the shift, Buck finds himself lying on the couch in the firehouse loft, staring blankly at the ceiling while Hen, Chimney and Ravi play a game of Gin Rummy. He seems to find himself on couches a lot these days.
Buck shifts, and immediately pain lights up his back, making him flinch away from the sensation and consequently fall onto the floor with a loud thud.
His friends don’t look up from their game.
“All good, guys.” Buck calls out. “I’m fine. Just fell off the couch onto this very hard floor, but it’s okay. You don’t need to worry.”
“That’s nice, sweetie.” Hen says absently.
Chimney hums. “Maybe if you weren’t exclusively sleeping on couches, your back wouldn’t be that bad. You should listen to me, I’m a paramedic.”
Ravi places a set of cards down, causing Hen and Chimney to groan.
“How the fuck do you keep doing this, man?” Chimney asks in disbelief.
Ravi shrugs. “There was nothing else to do in hospitals as a kid. Also I’m just better than you.”
Hen throws her cards down in defeat, and turns in her chair to face Buck, who is still lying on the floor.
“So Buck,” she says, “do I need to take Chimney’s words as you not having unpacked yet?” Hen raises her Mom™ eyebrow. “Do I seriously need to go over there and supervise so you actually get something done?”
“Noooooo, Hen.” Buck whines, covering his face with his hands. “I’ve unpacked, I’m not completely hopeless.”
Ravi scoffs.
“You say that, and yet continue to sleep on my couch.” Chimney says, dealing another round of cards. “ I think I’ve seen this film before, ” he mocks.
Buck flips him off. “Yeah, well that ending happened because I literally didn’t have anywhere else to live. I actually have a house this time.”
“So. Sleep there?” Hen says.
“He can’t.” Ravi interjects. “He’s being stupid about it.”
“Don’t call me stupid.”
“Fine, you’re being silly about it.” Ravi picks up his hand and grins. “Just a silly little guy,” Ravi mutters under his breath, arranging his hand into something that Buck suspects will destroy any hope Hen and Chim ever had of beating him at a game of cards. “But the little guy is built like a brick shit-house and is as dense as one too.”
“Fuck you.” Buck says, and pushes himself off the floor.
“Buck,” Hen sighs in the same tone she uses when she’s tired with the antics of her own children. “You are currently paying to live there. In this economy. Please, for my own peace of mind and honestly, for the sake of your bank account, learn to sleep at your own goddamn house.”
“I can’t!” Buck complains, and Ravi throws his hands out as if to say I told you so .
“Why not?” Hen asks patiently.
“It. It just doesn’t… Feel right?”
Hen levels him with a Look.
“I take back my retraction. He’s absolutely being stupid about it.” Ravi says.
Buck sticks his tongue out at him. “See if I ever ask you to hang out again.”
“Oh wait, Ravi, what did you do when you two went out for drinks?” Chimney asks. “He actually slept at his own house, I remember him telling Maddie.”
Buck stares at Ravi with wide eyes. Do not fucking say anything. He mouths. Ravi shrugs like he doesn’t know what Buck was saying.
“No, you’re right, Chim. Maybe I should sic Tommy on him again because that seemed to do it.”
Fucking dickhead.
Hen drops her cards on the table. Chimney’s fall slowly from his hands one by one as his grip loosens. Ravi looks bored.
“Hold on, go back. Tommy ?” Hen sounds incredulous.
“After all the work we did so that you wouldn’t call him?” Chimney sounds actually upset.
Buck shrugs. “Yeah, fine. We, y’know, slept together after Ravi dumped him on me -- dick move, by the way. It doesn’t matter though, we had a talk in the morning and it meant nothing. We aren’t together.”
“Thank fuck .” Chimney groans. “He’s fine now and all, but if I had to look at his face one more time I think I would’ve lost it.”
“You’re not the only one.” Hen scoffs.
“Wait, I thought you guys were all friends? Do we not like him just because he dumped Buck? That seems kind of lame, no offense Buck.” Ravi says.
“None taken, man.” Buck says. “But it -- yeah, I thought you guys stayed friends? He said Eddie also stopped texting him after we broke up. I don’t want you to lose a friend because of me.”
“Woah, that is not what’s happening here.” Hen says, and moves to join Buck on the floor. Her knees pop as she sits, and shoots Buck a stern glare when he goes to open his mouth. “Tommy is the most homophobic gay man I’ve ever met. He was also horrible to myself and Chimney when we first joined the station because we were people of colour.”
“He thought I was the Chinese delivery guy.” Chimney says despondently. “I’m Korean.”
“He’d sort of grown as a person by the time he left, but some of those deep-rooted ideas… They stayed.” Hen continues. “I’d love to forgive and move on, but hurting you was the final straw, Buck. You’re family. He never even tried to be.”
“Pretty sure he only tolerated us because I saved him from a fire that one time.” Chimney pipes up. “He owed me.”
Ravi looks flabbergasted. “Hey, Buck? Why the hell were you dating this guy?”
“I..” Buck starts. “He was my bi awakening, I don’t… I didn’t consider dating someone else after I realised.” He tries to process this new information. “Why didn’t you guys tell me? I would’ve broken up with him sooner, or at least not felt as bad when he dumped me?”
Chimney and Hen shrug. “We’re forgiving people.” Chimney says. “We had hopes that he was a better version of himself. He wasn’t. We move on.”
“Fuck,” Buck says, dropping his head back onto the couch. “I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but guys please intervene with my love life if I do something like that again.”
“For sure,” Ravi says. “Now can we go back to me beating you all at every card game in existence before the next call comes in?”
It’s after his shift that Buck thinks back to their conversation. Not the bit about Tommy being an asshole -- in hindsight, it's glaringly obvious -- but the part where the only night Buck has been able to sleep in his house has been after sleeping with someone.
So, even though he is so glaringly aware that these are the actions of Buck 1.0, Buck goes out to a bar. He dresses up for the first time in a while, a loose green button-down that flows like silk over his muscles, and with a deep V-neck that flashes his pecs, and allows hints of his tattoos. He wears a pair of nice navy slacks that accentuate his long legs and accessorised with a chain dangling from the belt loops, Buck knows he looks good.
He doesn’t just look hot, he looks fucking sexy.
At the bar, Buck rolls up his sleeves and turns on his best Buck charm. He chats up the bartender, and then the person next to him who seems to be buying drinks for a large table. The person was tall and thin, long dark hair cascading over their shoulders but pushed behind one ear, where a gorgeous purple feather earring brushed softly against their face. Tight leather pants clung to their legs, and their shirt consisted of a cropped white waist-coat. Tattoos spiralled down their arms, and Buck couldn’t help but be drawn to this person, so he starts a conversation in the way he knows best.
“So, you come here often?” Buck quips, grinning at the stranger. They raise a single eyebrow at him, unimpressed that their attention was moved from their phone for him.
“Is that really the best you’ve got?” They deadpan.
“What? Oh, no! I was just asking because you had a large order, but it seemed like you knew exactly what you were getting?” Buck says. “So, I thought that, like maybe you come here often, with- with friends, or y’know, just for fun.”
They blink at him. “So that was your opener? A pick-up line?”
“I guess?” Buck laughs self-consciously. “It’s been a while. I’m Buck, by the way.”
“Clover.” They say and extend their hand towards Buck. Clover has a strong grip, and Buck can’t help but be drawn into their orbit. “So, it’s been a while since you flirted with anyone? Recent break-up?”
“Uh, no, actually. More like it’s been a while since I met anyone new?” Buck says.
Clover stares at him.
“Okay, saying that out loud, I realise that I sound really sad, but I promise you I’m not.” Buck amends. “I just have a tight group of friends and work weird shifts, so it’s kinda hard to get out there, y’know?”
At this, Clover brightens and tucks their phone into a pocket Buck didn’t know could exist in the pants they’re wearing. He can literally see the clear outline of the phone’s camera and Buck wonders if Clover’s legs are losing circulation.
“Oh, neat!” They say. “Your friends with you tonight?” They look over his shoulder and around the bar as if trying to sus out who he would be with.
“No again,” Buck grimaces, and takes a sip of the IPA that he’d been nursing for the better part of ten minutes. “They’re all kind of busy tonight, so I figured I’d get out here alone.” He doesn’t say that the intention was to sleep with someone so he can actually sleep in his own bed again.
Clover opens their mouth, but the bartender interrupts them with the two trays of their drink order. Clover thanks the bartender and hands her a tip, grabbing one tray and staring at the other one consideringly.
“Can you grab that for me?”
“What? Oh, yeah sure.” Buck carefully holds either side of the tray and dutifully follows Clover when they begin striding through the crowd. Buck thinks they either have a weird amount of faith in strangers, or they could easily kick his ass or something, because what right-minded person gets someone they just met to carry about $40 worth of drinks to a table of friends.
When Buck reaches the table, Clover is already putting drinks in front of people, rings clinking against the glasses in a satisfying way. They turn around for the other tray and take it from Buck with no preamble. Buck is awkwardly watching the faces of the people Clover hand glasses to, although they really don’t seem to notice that their friend brought someone over, chatting away happily.
“Alighty,” Clover says, tossing the trays neatly into the middle of the table. “Guys, this is Buck. He’s lonely, so we’re his friends now.”
Buck splutters, “I’m not-- hey!”
“Buck, this is Donna, Clyde, Bridgette, Axel,” Clover ignores him, pointing to people in the booth. Buck feels very lost. “Tobi, Alejandro, Louisa, and Rueben.” Rueben waves at him, and signs what Buck is pretty sure is Hi, nice to meet you. Eager to put his brief stint in ASL to use, Buck signs back Hello, I’m- and then he clumsily finger spells his name. Rueben looks delighted, and Clover nudges his shoulder slightly.
“You know ASL?” They ask, this time signing as they speak.
“Uh, not much.” Buck replies, “I just -- sometimes it comes in handy in my line of work, so I tried learning some? It took me a while to pick up, and then stuff happened so I’m a bit out of practice.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. Clover seems to have signed this to Rueben, who grabs his arm and makes a sound to get Buck’s attention.
It’s okay, he signs, and then says, “I can read lips.” His voice is not loud enough to be heard over the club’s music, but that’s okay, beacuse lip reading has also come in handy during the odd call. Buck laughs, and tells him as much, causing Rueben to pull Buck down onto the empty chair next to him.
Buck looks up at Clover, a little panicked that he just inadvertantly stole this person’s seat, but they just shrug at him and tell Donna to share her own chair. They don’t end up sharing so much as Clover sits in her lap, but Buck is definately not going to point that out.
Rueben taps his shoulder, and Buck’s attention is back on the other man. He says something, but Buck is now too distracted by his glittering eyeshadow, and intricate red and white eyeliner that curls around his eyes.
Rueben taps him again, and Buck shakes himself and actually looks at his lips this time. “So, I asked what you do for work?” He says, lips curled up smugly.
Buck flushes. “Sorry, uh, your makeup is just very-- it’s so pretty.” Rueben gives him a soft smile. “And, I’m a firefighter?” It sounds like a question only because Buck is focused on signing when he can, as he places his hand, palm out with the thumb tucked in, against his forehead while saying 'firefighter'. Rueben nods and gives him a thumbs up.
Buck is drawn into conversation with the rest of the table then, asking him about his job, his tattoos, and what he does for fun. In turn, he learns that this group of people is just as tight-knit as his own family at the 118, that this is one outing that they try and do twice a month because with this many people and conflicting schedules, casual meetups aren’t really possible.
Time flies, and a few rounds later, someone (Buck thinks it might be Axel) asks him about his own friends.
“You said they’re like family, right?” Maybe-Axel asks. “What do they all do?”
Buck grins - he loves talking about the 118. “Oh, no. We’re pretty much all first responders.” He pulls out one of the group photos they had taken at one of Bobby and Athena’s house gatherings. Buck points out everyone and occasionally gives a bit more information (“Athena hated me when we first met. To be fair, I was an absolute dickhead, but she’s like a mother to me now.”) When he gets to Eddie and Christopher, Buck pauses.
Clover must see something on his face, beacuse they ask, “You okay?”
Buck swallows. “Ye-yeah. Uh, this is Eddie, and his son Christopher. They mean the world to me, but um. They moved to Texas - or well, Chris moved to Texas and Eddie followed because he’s a good dad, and like I know that it’s for a good reason, but it still hurts, and I-” he’s cut off by Rueben putting a hand on his shoulder. Buck chokes on a lump in his throat and his eyes burn.
He came here to fuck, why is he crying?
The group look at him sadly, and Buck suddenly feels very lost. “I’m sorry, guys.” He starts to get up, “I kinda ruined your night, you don’t wanna hear the issues of the random guy you met an hour ago. I’ll get out of your hair, have a nice night.” Buck smiles awkwardly and begins to back away. He makes it all the way to the door, cursing his luck, when Clover stops him.
They pull him into a corner that seems the most quiet - considering it’s near the door and away from any speakers.
“You came here tonight so you could forget about him, didn’t you?” They say matter of factly.
Buck scrubs a hand over his face. “Am I really that obvious?”
“Not really, it mostly helps that I’m a psychologist.” Clover laughs. Buck swallows roughly and takes a step back. Clover gauges his reaction and copies him, leaving ample room between them both.
“Look, Buck.” Clover says. “I know we just met tonight, but you seem like a really cool guy. Maybe think about expanding that friend group of yours? We’re always down to hang if you want something like that.” They hand him a crumpled napkin and Buck feels tears spring to his eyes. On it are two names, with numbers and socials detailed underneath.
“If you ever want to reach out, Rueben and I are always happy to chat to a new friend.”
“Thank you, Clover,” Buck croaks out. “Seriously.”
Clover gives him a pat on the shoulder before they turn and head back to their table of friends. They disappear into the crowd, navigating the mess of people easily and it takes mere seconds for Buck to lose sight of them completely.
Suddenly exhausted, Buck calls an uber, desperate to get home to his couch, but potentially his bed if he can work up the courage to do so. God, he misses Eddie.
Buck is woken by his alarm blaring in his ear. It's his work alarm - which, yes, is different to his Not Work alarm. It’s just easier for his brain to figure out what it’s doing subconsciously rather than remember that he’s going to work that day. It was something he implemented in his Buck 1.0 days, when the days blurred together and he wasn’t able to keep track of when he was working or when he was off. Buck’s eternally grateful for his younger self right now, because he’s so hungover that thinking actually hurts.
So, nevermind that he should be at the start of his 24 off, Buck rolls out of the bed (when did he get into an actual bed?) and stumbles through the motions of his morning routine.
He very nearly collapses into his Jeep and begins the drive to the station on autopilot. He must be more tired than he thought, because he ends up further away from the firehouse instead of actually driving towards it. Buck has to pull his GPS out in defeat and groans when he realises, he’s added 20 more minutes onto his travel time.
“Mornin’, Ravi.” Buck grumbles at the figure standing in the door of the changeroom when he finally manages to stumble into the station. He half expects Ravi to make some quip about him not being his “normal morning self” and then bully him about Eddie, but he’s quiet.
He’s also not moving.
“Ravi.” Buck says, exasperated. “I am so incredibly hungover right now, my head feels like it’s about to explode so move or I’m gonna knock you over.”
“Who’s Ravi? He on B-shift?” Says a voice that’s definitely Not Ravi. Of course, that’s when Buck actually uses his eyes and gets a good look at the guy in front of him.
It’s definitely not Ravi, for sure. For one, this guy is white, but he has a similar height and build. He’s got short blond hair, gelled out of his face. He’s got blue eyes, and some sort of bruise over his left eye, that looks a mirror image of Buck’s birthmark.
Actually, looking at the guy, he looks a lot like a younger version of himself.
“He does a bit of B, a bit of A. Been mostly A recently.” Buck says wearily. “Who’re you? I don’t think we’ve met yet?”
The guy stares at him. “I’m Buck.” He says. “Just finished my probationary year. And there’s no Ravi on A shift that I know of.”
Buck blinks at him.
The guy, unmoving, blinks back.
“Ha! Good one,” Buck barks out a laugh. “Seriously though, whoever you are, move so I can get ready.” He takes a step forward, but the man doesn’t budge.
“What’s your deal, man?” The guy asks him.
Buck ignores his question, now looking behind him to see if Ravi or Chimney are just around the corner, laughing at Buck’s misfortune. “Look, I know Chim and Ravi, or really, even Hen put you up to this, but you can go home, dude.”
Buck has no idea where, or why a professional impersonator is here impersonating him, but that is the only semi-logical conclusion he can come up with. It's LA, Buck’s just had what is effectively the worst two weeks of his life - after spilling that he slept around again, he wouldn’t put it past his team to find someone who looks like Buck 1.0 and rub what he used to be like in his face. Perhaps as a preventative measure, perhaps just for funsies. But he’s gotta admit, The guy is eerily similar to his younger self, down to the cocky swagger and uncertainty around the eyes.
The guy - who Buck is just gonna call Freddie until he learns his real name - takes a step back. He folds his arms over his chest, one hand occasionally twitching towards the (probably fake) radio on his shoulder.
“Who are you?” Freddie asks stonily. Buck huffs out a laugh, because why would an impersonator not know who they were acting as? He scrubs a hand down his face and reaches into his back pocket for his phone, not bothering to answer Freddie.
Freddie, though, immediately clicks on his radio the second his hand goes out of view. “Guys, I need you down here now. We have a white male, early thirties, who just name-dropped all of you - call Athena, I don’t like this.”
“Hey, man what the fuck?” Buck is incredulous. “Why are you treating me like I'm a threat? You’ve gotta know who I am, you’re literally pretending to be me.”
There's a rush of footsteps behind him, and Buck turns to face his family. “Okay, now this is taking it too far, I open up to Ravi one time , and you---”
And then Eddie comes into view, looking several years younger, and Buck’s only coherent thought is, Oh man, he got it wrong -- this is Buck 2.0.