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Saturday
+44 4323-652-715 started a chat with +44 4788-776-369
(18:04)
+44 4323-652-715
i dreamt about you last night
+44 4788-776-369
Um
Okay
+44 4323-652-715
couldnt get you out of my head it seems
+44 4788-776-369
That concerns me.
+44 4323-652-715
why?
have you not been thinking about me?
+44 4788-776-369
Seeing as I don’t know you, can’t say I have, no.
+44 4323-652-715
oh! haha my bad
it’s lando
+44 4788-776-369
Odd name
+44 4323-652-715
ok rude
i dont remember you bing rude
bieng
+44 4788-776-369
Being*
And perhaps you don’t remember because we haven’t met.
+44 4323-652-715
huh?
are you not the girl from the macaroon course
+44 4788-776-369
Afraid not, mate.
+44 4323-652-715
ur joking
+44 4788-776-369
Hate to be the one, but I’m not.
I’ve never had a macaroon let alone do whatever you did to them.
+44 4323-652-715
you make it sound like i violated the macaroons or smth
+44 4788-776-369
Well, you very well could have
I don’t know.
I wasn’t there
+44 4323-652-715
ugh this is annoying
she must have miswritten her number
+44 4788-776-369
Or she gave you the wrong number on purpose
+44 4323-652-715
no
not possible
+44 4788-776-369
Eh, I wouldn’t be so sure.
Girls don’t usually like it when you perv on food
+44 4323-652-715
is that a nugget of knowledge u gained from personal experience?
were weird about food infront of a lady
+44 4788-776-369
Maybe I AM the lady.
+44 4323-652-715
hm
nah
+44 4788-776-369
Could be, though.
Remember: you don’t know me.
With my lack of macaroon experience and all that
+44 4323-652-715
sure but ur still not a girl
girls aren’t as annoying as u
+44 4788-776-369
A girl wouldn’t have entertained you for as long as I have, either.
+44 4323-652-715
HAH
knew it
and you didn’t deny that ur annoying
double win for me
+44 4788-776-369
I know who I am, and annoying I may be.
+44 4323-652-715
ok troll under the bridge
writing riddles over there
+44 4788-776-369
So, I’m annoying
+44 4323-652-715
yup
+44 4788-776-369
But you’re delusional
And that’s worse.
+44 4323-652-715
WHAT
i am not delusinal
how am i delusional
+44 4788-776-369
Well, for starters, you opened the chat with “I dreamt about you last night”
+44 4323-652-715
and?
that’s a good line
+44 4788-776-369
That is a *terrible* line
Underwhelming. Overused.
A bit creepy as well
+44 4323-652-715
i think u just want me to be a werido?
wait how old are u
i really hope im not talking to a child or smth
+44 4788-776-369
I am 22, so you’re fine.
At least on that front.
Still a bit weary of your word choice
+44 4323-652-715
“weary” blah
i think you may have accidentally split ur age in half
no way ur younger than me
+44 4788-776-369
And how did you formulate that belief.
+44 4323-652-715
ur all proper when u type and shit
periods and comas
no one under 30 does that
+44 4788-776-369
“and shit”
I just happen to be civilized.
+44 4323-652-715
wtvr gramps
ah look at the time
so deeply sorry for this
but I have to go now
+44 4788-776-369
I am soooo sad.
I don’t know how to live without you.
+44 4323-652-715
ignoring
anywya
seeing as ur not the girl from yesterdays course
(still think that was an accidental miswrite)
+44 4788-776-369
And I think you may still be dreaming.
+44 4323-652-715
whatever happened it was her loss
+44 4788-776-369
Mhm
+44 4323-652-715
ANYWAY
as i was saying
i have to go bc now i have to source a hookup
+44 4788-776-369
“Source a hookup”
You are full of awful phrases.
Speaking like an animal on the hunt
+44 4323-652-715
not that far off am i
+44 4788-776-369
From being an animal?
+44 4323-652-715
rawr
+44 4788-776-369
God Bless whoever you chat with tonight
+44 4323-652-715
have sex with*
+44 4788-776-369
We’ll see.
Sunday
(03:22)
+44 4323-652-715
i got laid 💪
thought youd want to know
(9:32)
+44 4788-776-369
I did not want nor need to know.
But
Send her my deepest condolences
(11:47)
+44 4323-652-715
him*
+44 4788-776-369
A reckless bisexual, go figure.
+44 4323-652-715
woah
are you part of the club or was that homophobic
+44 4788-776-369
Part of the club?
I suppose that’s accurate.
+44 4323-652-715
i should have known
grandad gay
ha
+44 4788-776-369
Did you just laugh at your own joke over text
+44 4323-652-715
yea
funnier than anything you’ve said
have to get the laughs in somewhere
it is the best medicine
+44 4788-776-369
Are you sick?
+44 4323-652-715
yea
of being the funniest in the room all the time
+44 4788-776-369
So you make your own medicine for a sickness you bring upon yourself?
+44 4323-652-715
so many questions
i didn’t CHOOSE to be funny
this life chose me
+44 4788-776-369
You’re ridiculous.
+44 4323-652-715
such a silly way to spell hilarious
poetic
charming
handsome
+44 4788-776-369
Delusional
+44 4323-652-715
delightful
hey!
there u go with that word again 😒
+44 4788-776-369
Sorry
Just slipped out
+44 4323-652-715
of ur fingertips
+44 4788-776-369
What can I say, they have a mind of their own.
+44 4323-652-715 updated +44 4788-776-369’s contact to: grandad gay (annoying)
+44 4323-652-715
oops
so do mine
grandad gay (annoying)
Do you have multiple gay grandfathers?
+44 4323-652-715
why would you think that
grandad gay (annoying)
Oh, just curious because you specified me as annoying.
Didn’t know if you had a contact named “gay grandad (cranky)”
Or “gay grandad (fun to drink with)”
+44 4323-652-715
no i don’t
but im about to have one called gay grandad (blocked) if you don’t quit your teasing
grandad gay (annoying)
Promise?
+44 4323-652-715
what’s ur real name anyway
grandad gay (annoying)
Hmm, my mum told me not to tell strangers my name.
Especially off putting ones who say “rawr”
+44 4323-652-715
i’ll tell you mine
grandad gay (annoying)
Wait, let me guess first
+44 4323-652-715
ok?
i have to warn you
its pretty uncommon
grandad gay (annoying)
Lando
+44 4323-652-715
wait
either ur a wizard or a stalker
grandad gay (annoying)
Or I scrolled up in our chat to when you told me yesterday
Assuming you weren’t lying.
+44 4323-652-715
oh
i did tell u
ok now you have to tell me urs
grandad gay (annoying)
Do I now?
Says who? You?
+44 4323-652-715
duh 🙄
who else
how many other landos have u met
grandad gay (annoying)
That’s not
Never mind.
What if you try and find me though.
I don’t know if I want that.
+44 4323-652-715
oh lord
wtvr ur name is cant be more unique than mine so i think ur good
should i be worried about YOU looking me up?
grandad gay (annoying)
No
Don’t really care enough to search if I’m honest
+44 4323-652-715
okay
ouch
grandad gay (annoying)
Oh. Sorry
+44 4323-652-715
its fine
broke my heart but its fine
make it up to me by telling me ur name
grandad gay (annoying)
Hmm
I don’t think I’m that easily guilt tripped
+44 4323-652-715
come on !!
i promise not to go looking for you
we’ll keep our relationship strictly whatsapp casual
grandad gay (annoying)
Oscar
+44 4323-652-715
huh 🤨
oh! that’s it
grandad gay (annoying)
Yup.
Riveting stuff
+44 4323-652-715
u gave it up so quick after the promise of whatsapp casual lol
has someone never taken that step with u before
grandad gay (annoying)
No, you’re the first to ever ask for my hand in Whatsapp.
I’m swooning
+44 4323-652-715
ur joking but you sent your name right over
eaaasssaaaaayyyyyy 🎶
grandad gay (annoying)
You begged me.
+44 4323-652-715
BEGGED ⁉️
HA
i did not beg nor have i ever begged
grandad gay (annoying)
Scroll up
+44 4323-652-715
all i see is an ambitious young man bargaining for whats fair
grandad gay (annoying)
Bargaining with a troll/wizard doesn’t usually turn out well.
Pray I don’t curse you
+44 4323-652-715
what…
i am actually lost rn huh
grandad gay (annoying)
Yesterday you called me a troll and today a wizard
Never mind, stupid joke
Will you change my name now that you know
+44 4323-652-715
joke isn’t stupid mate
funny now that u said something
ive just got a shit memory so that’s on me
and no
name will stay the same
grandad gay (annoying)
Great, so that was all for nothing.
+44 4323-652-715
not all for nothing 🙄
it brought us closer
actually
+44 4323-652-715 changed grandad gay (annoying)’s contact to: grandad gay (grouch)
+44 4323-652-715
ta da! 😄
clever innit
grandad gay (grouch)
Soooo clever
10/10
Never been done before !!!
+44 4323-652-715
like oscar the grouch
from sesame street
grandad gay (grouch)
Believe it or not I gathered that
+44 4323-652-715
whatever
you haven’t even given me a name
im still +44 4323-652-715 to you
so impersonal
grandad gay (grouch) changed +44 4323-652-715’s contact to: Lando
Lando
may as well of just left it
grandad gay (grouch)
What?
That’s your name. What else would I put?
Lando
oh nothing
i thought i was important enough for a nickname
but i guess not 😔
grandad gay (grouch)
Oh goodness
Drama queen
grandad gay (grouch) changed Lando’s contact to: Landoroon
grandad gay (grouch)
Like macaroon
Landoroon
aw
that’s cute
grandad gay (grouch)
Changing it back now.
Landoroon
dont even think about it mr grouch
grandad gay (grouch)
Ugh
I’m going back to work
Landoroon
its sunday????
grandad gay (grouch)
Demanding position
Landoroon
ominis
or whatever the word is
grandad gay (grouch)
Ominous
Landoroon
u get me
wait ur job is busy enough to work on sunday
but you just let me go on and on for half an hour about nothing
grandad gay (grouch)
A welcome break
I had to eat lunch at some point.
Landoroon
oscar!!
you can tell me to fuck off if ur busy i don’t mind
grandad gay (grouch)
I would have told you if you were bothering me
But you weren’t bothering me
So I didn’t tell you.
Simple
Landoroon
“simple”
alright gramps
back to work
grandad gay (grouch)
Unfortunately
Talk later
?
Landoroon
that desparte to chat with me ;)
grandad gay (grouch)
Desperate*
And never mind
I didn’t say anything.
Landoroon
aw osc
ill text ya later babe no worries xx
grandad gay (grouch)
Yeah, okay, bye.
Landoroon
“yeah, okay, bye” aha
soooooo eaaaassssyyyyy