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Here’s the thing, Robert realises that his head has been up his own arse the last few days, but really who can blame him; Andy and Chrissie? It’s like his brother can’t leave anything alone. Where Robert’s been, Andy is close behind, ready to take everything and prove he’s the prodigal son as always.
It’s sickening. He’s not sure why he’s the only one who sees that.
However, Aaron has been giving him the cold shoulder for three days and that starts to annoy him as much as Andy does. He texts Aaron every day, getting one word answers that leave him more on edge than anything else.
The trial is drawing ever closer, Robert can only imagine what Aaron is going through. It doesn’t help that Liv and Sandra are still M.I.A. and Robert hasn’t seen him in days. It doesn’t take a genius to realise Aaron is closing himself off, pushing everyone away because he thinks its easier if he shoulders it alone. But when Aaron shoulders things alone, this usually involves him hurting himself, and that leaves a horrible heavy feeling in Robert’s gut.
Its Saturday, and Aaron has barely replied to any texts since Thursday—a clipped reply to Robert asking how he was yesterday morning, nothing today—which probably wasn’t long enough for Robert to start fussing, but really he’d kind of gotten used to Aaron being there. He’d checked the scrap yard twice only to be told both times that Aaron was out on a run. It was frustrating to say the least.
So Robert ends up at the pub, because where better to lie in wait that Aaron’s home, and it’s Chas that is serving over a relatively slow lunchtime. Robert knows Vic is in the kitchen, and she’s also still giving him the cold shoulder but she’s his sister and she’ll come around eventually.
Chas finishes serving Kerry and Dan, then lets out a short sigh before she makes her way across the bar to Robert. She makes a face at him that is mostly exasperation, and a little bit of Aaron’s annoyance.
‘I take it he’s still not talking to you then?’ Chas asks, she doesn’t even let Robert order, she just starts pulling him a pint, watching him look distractedly at his phone then put it back down. She hands him his beer. He hands her a fiver.
‘Yeah,’ Robert says, looking at his pint but not drinking it. ‘What have I done now?’
‘Oh Rob,’ Chas says, and she purses her lips. ‘He thought the other day was a date, and all you did was talk about Chrissie!’
‘But—‘
‘He never said anything?’ Chas makes a noise at the back of her throat that pretty much signalises sounds like Aaron. ‘Well, no offence, but you’ve kind of been all about him lately, and sometimes he forgets you have other things going on.’
Robert kind of thinks that fair. He has been pretty focused on supporting Aaron lately, but he also respects what Aaron had said when he said they should just focus on being mates. And lets face it, Robert can count how many ‘mates’ he has on one hand. On one finger really, unless you count Vic.
Still a date. When had they reached date stage? Had he missed something?
‘Is he around?’ Robert asks. Chas sighs, looking like she really doesn’t want to tell him.
‘He was through the back,’ she says, and Robert is already getting up when she adds, ‘he might not be in the most talkative of moods though. But what’s new there.’
On the last bit Robert is already disappearing through the back.
Aaron is at the kitchen table when Robert walks through, he looks up when he hears the door open, then lets out an annoyed breath and shakes his head when he notices it’s Robert. He takes a deep gulp of tea and then folds his arms across his chest.
‘What do you want?’
‘Are you ignoring me or something?’ Robert asks, he stuffs his hands in his pockets just to have something to do with them and wanders closer to the table.
‘Me? No…’ Aaron sniffs, but his mouth is an angry line almost hidden by his beard, and his whole body language is screaming at Robert to leave him alone. He doesn’t.
‘Look—‘
‘Look,’ Aaron says more firmly. ‘I don’t wanna talk about it, you clearly have other things going on. It’s better we just leave it.’
‘I—‘
‘We’re done,’ Aaron says, but its not a we’re done in the sense it has been before. Just tired. Aaron downs the last of his tea then stands up. ‘I’ve got to get to the yard,’ he says, shouldering past Robert. ‘Don’t follow me.’
Robert is left staring after him, still not sure what has happened.
* * *
It goes from bad to worse as the days draw on. Aaron tells him to steer clear, and Paddy has a go at him, and Robert is basically back to square one as far as being public enemy is concerned. The only upside is that when people tell him to leave Aaron alone, it has the exact opposite effect. Call it a character flaw.
Robert goes to the trial even though Aaron had told him to stay away. There is no debate about it, there’s nowhere else he’d rather be but there for Aaron right now.
It’s the hardest thing Robert’s ever had to watch. Aaron is hurt and confused, and pained in a way Robert wishes he could soothe but knows he can’t. He does what he can. Pulls Aaron back from a panic attack, holds his hand when Liv takes the stand. Knows Aaron hates how his little sister has been dragged into this but can’t do a damn thing about it. He doesn’t let go.
* * *
It’s an odd sort of quiet that has descended on The Woolpack when they get back. Aaron heads in through the back, and Robert follows, having no interest in the hushed conversations and speculation that will no doubt be taking place outside in the bar. Aaron is all jittery unease, which Robert completely understands.
He feels helpless sitting on the couch as Aaron paces back and forth across the living room. Aaron’s biting his thumbnail, and Robert brushes his arm when he gets up off the couch to make tea just to have something to do. Aaron stops then, follows Rob restlessly into the kitchen.
He stops at the counter opposite Robert, fingers tapping at the countertop. Robert puts the kettle on then turns to face him, waits a beat before he steps over into Aaron’s space. Rubs his hands over Aaron’s arms in the only way he knows to be comforting right now without being too much.
‘Hey,’ Robert says softly. ‘You did amazing.’
Aaron’s eyes are sharp when he looks at Robert, guarded.
‘I told you to stay away,’ but there’s no heat in it.
‘Yeah and since when did I listen to a word you say?’ Robert says, he’s said it before, knows as he says it that Aaron will scoff a laugh or give him an edge of a smile.
It’s the latter this time.
‘I’m glad you didn’t,’ Aaron says, still too quiet. Robert grips his elbows, not too tight, just enough to let Aaron know he’s going nowhere.
‘Look,’ Robert says. ‘About last week—’
‘Robert—’
‘No, listen,’ Robert says, but Aaron’s looking away now, his eyes becoming closed off again. ‘I didn’t realise it was a date, I thought you meant just as mates…’
‘Robert.’
‘I mean, we are mates, aren’t we?’ Robert ploughs on anyway, and Aaron’s looking at him now, his face an unreadable sort of determined before Aaron grabs the front of Robert’s jacket and pulls him in to crush their mouths together.
And okay, that was unexpected, but Robert doesn’t pull away, can’t because this is Aaron. He’s given Aaron time, he’s let Aaron take the reins long enough that he doesn’t mind him being greedy now, thinks Aaron has been though enough that he knows what’s right for himself. And if it takes Aaron’s mind off the impending verdict for even a little while then he’s fine with that.
Aaron is the one that pulls back, eyes searching Robert’s face as they catch their breath.
‘What does that tell you?’ he asks.
‘I might need you to tell me again,’ Robert says. ‘I wasn’t paying attention…’
Aaron has this long-suffering smile on his face that Robert hasn’t seen for an age and has missed more than he can put words to. He smiles at Aaron, already swaying back towards him as Aaron tugs him closer again.
The kiss this time is slow and intimate, another thing they haven’t had in a long time. Robert breathes Aaron in, moving his hands from Aaron’s elbows up to cradle his face instead. It’s been so long since he’s had that scruff of beard in his fingers, felt the soft skin at the back of Aaron’s neck, and he wants it all. Slides his tongue in Aaron’s mouth and deepens the kiss like their drowning in one another.
Aaron’s hands move from Robert’s jacket, sliding in the opening and around his waist to draw Robert closer. Robert breaks their kiss a second, drawing back to search Aaron’s face, and there’s nothing but softness there, nothing but them. They smile at one another, and Robert drags Aaron back in for another searing kiss.
It’s been a long time. Too long perhaps.
And it feels like coming home.