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Charlie was hiding something, Alastor was sure of it.
After knowing her for three years and being her boyfriend for one, he could tell because honestly? Charlie was a TERRIBLE liar. It was adorable.
“Hello dear.”
“NOTHING!” Charlie slammed her door closed behind her. “I mean, um, good morning!”
“I thought that you might like to have breakfast together before I left for the day.” Alastor gestured to the tray he was carrying.
“Aw, Al! You’re the sweetest.”
“Keep it to yourself, darling. I have a reputation to uphold.” He winked and nodded at her door. “I thought we could dine on your balcony.”
“We could, but it’s…broken.”
“Your balcony is broken?”
“Yep.” She was adorable, all wide eyed and flustered.
“Charlie.”
“Yes?”
“You wouldn’t happen to be hiding anything from me, now would you?”
Charlie opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. “Well?”
“I want you.” Charlie whipped her shirt off IN THE HALLWAY. Of course Alastor was incredibly suspicious, but also easily distracted by Charlie’s breasts.
“Why don’t you just tell him?” Angel asked, holding a kitten.
“Because he’ll say that I don’t NEED a litter of kittens. And I refuse to give up fluffy, muffy, buffy, and Joanne.”
“Joanne?!”
“Then I have pancake and waffle, those are the parents. I didn’t get waffle fixed yet and I’m pretty sure pancake is pregnant again. How fast can cats have kittens?”
“I don’t know, but how exactly do you plan to keep them from Alastor? Isn’t he suspicious?”
“He is.”
“And how do you get him to drop it?”
“I hypnotize him with my boobs.”
Angel let out a laugh that scared the kitten he was holding. “Seriously?”
“This morning, he brought me breakfast and wanted to come in, so I took my shirt off in the hallway.”
Angel was doubled over, laughing his ass off. “Damn, who knew big red would have such a thing for your tits?!”
“I’m not sure how much longer that’ll work. Can you watch the kittens tonight?”
“No can do, blondie. I’ve gotta work.”
“Damn. We’re supposed to go out.”
“I know who you can ask!”
That evening, Alastor was waiting for Charlie in the lobby when he heard a tiny meow. He looked over at husk, who coughed. “Sorry. That was me.”
“You were meowing?”
“I’m part cat, ain’t I?” Husk snapped.
“Forgive me, I’ve just never heard you do it.”
“Ready to go?” Charlie came down the stairs, looking stunning in a little black dress.
“Hang on, Charlie? I needed to ask you something.” Husk cleared his throat. He glanced at Alastor, then back to Charlie. “It’s personal.”
“Sure! Be right back, Al.” Charlie and Husk disappeared into the storeroom and Alastor heard the tiny meow again. He appeared behind the desk and found a box of kittens.
“Oh look at you!” Alastor smiled genuinely. He had a soft spot for cats. “Let's see how long she can keep this up, shall we?”
Charlie was distracted at dinner, frequently checking her phone. “Waiting for an important call, sweetheart?”
“What? No! Sorry.” She shoved her phone back in her purse.
“You’ve been acting awfully strange lately.” Alastor smirked.
“Me? Well, I am pretty strange! HA!” God she was bad at this.
After a wonderful date (despite her distraction) they’d returned to his room instead of hers. When Alastor woke up at 3 AM, he was surprised to find Charlie gone, though she did sometimes return to her room. Since he was awake anyway, he decided to pop down to the kitchen for a glass of water. Imagine his (faux) surprise when he found Charlie with a stack of cat food.
“Darling?”
Charlie shrieked and dropped the cans. “You scared the crap out of me, Al!”
“Apologies, I came to get a drink.” He picked up the can closest to him. “Fancy feast? A bit of an odd choice for a midnight snack.” How was she going to explain this one?
“I…had a craving. For tuna! But we don’t have any.” She cleared her throat. “We had some of these cans left from those stray cats I used to feed. And you know, husk said they’re not bad!”
“Charlie. Are you telling me that you intend to eat cat food?” He smirked at her, thinking he had her cornered.
She looked him in the eyes and said “yep! I’m taking it to my room. Goodnight, Al!”
Did she think he was a complete moron? Two could play that game.
“Hello darling. I brought lunch!” Alastor carried a tray into their shared office.
“Aw, thanks Al! I was in the zone and didn’t even realize what time it was.”
“I prepared you a special treat!”
“Oooooh! What is it?”
He had the biggest grin on his face as he put the tray down in front of her. “Fancy feast finger sandwiches!”
He could practically hear Charlie’s brain going into overdrive. “Oh wow! That’s…wow!”
“You said you had a craving! And I know how much you enjoy it when I satisfy you.”
“You…are absolutely right! You’re the best boyfriend ever!” She was beaming at him innocently.
“Go on, tell me what you think! I even garnished it with crumbled bacon.”
“Sounds great!” Charlie’s smile was turning into a grimace. She glanced at the tray and picked up a sandwich. “Oh boy!” She was slowly bringing it up to her mouth, visibly gagging, when he stopped her.
“I know about the cats, Charlotte!”
“Wait, what?” She was like a deer in the headlights once more.
“Were you seriously going to eat CAT FOOD to keep up this charade?!”
“If I had to! How did you find out?”
“Well, for starters, I have eyes. And you, my dear, are a TERRIBLE liar. And this afternoon, one of your little companions escaped.” It was then Charlie noticed the bulge in the pocket on his chest. “She was tired from her big adventure, so I gave her a ride. She’s having a nap.”
A little paw came out of his pocket. “Mew!”
“Ah, she’s awake!” Alastor gently removed the kitten and put her on the desk.
“Buffy! You little sneak!” Charlie scooped up the black kitten and kissed her head.
“Why did you feel the need to hide them from me? Did you think I’d harm them?” He sincerely hoped that wasn’t it.
“What?! No!” Charlie looked horrified. “I was afraid you’d find out and make me get rid of them.”
“Darling, I can’t MAKE you do anything. I don’t think you need four cats, but if you wanted to keep them, I’d support you. Besides, I love cats. And this little one is feisty.” He smiled at the kitten, who was now attacking Charlie’s hand.
“Really?”
“Of course! Besides, it’s a big hotel! There’s plenty of room for these four.” He noticed Charlie was looking down at the desk. “It IS just these four, right?”
“Mhm.” Charlie mumbled and played with the kitten.
“Charlotte.” She still didn’t meet his eyes and he sighed. “How many more, Charlie?”
“A few.”
“Is that the truth?”
She flicked her gaze up to him, then quickly back down. “No.”
“I won’t be upset with you, sweetheart.”
“You promise?” She cuddled the kitten with teary eyes.
“I promise. How many cats?”
“Well, I also have pancake and waffle. That’s the kitten’s parents. By the way, their names are fluffy, muffy, Buffy, and Joanne.”
“Joanne?”
“What’s wrong with Joanne?!”
“Nothing! It’s a perfectly fine name. So there’s six?”
“Yeeeeeesss….”
“Is it more than six?”
“SEVENTEEN! IT’S SEVENTEEN, OK?!” Charlie couldn’t take it any longer.
“You have SEVENTEEN CATS?!?”
“You said you wouldn’t be mad! You promised!”
“I’m not mad, I’m concerned for your sanity! Why do you have seventeen cats, and more importantly, WHERE?”
“It’ll be easier if I show you.”
He had no idea when she’d done it, or how he hadn’t noticed, but she’d converted the attic to a cat paradise.
“Hi boss!” A handful of the egg bois waved when they entered.
“Hi guys! Everybody good?” Charlie smiled,
“Just fine, boss! We found two more!”
“You guys are the best! Thank you!”
“Charlie, would you please tell me what the HELL is going on?!”
Charlie took a deep breath. “At first it was just a few cats I found on the street, so I took them to a shelter but they said it was full, and that they had too many cats already and any new cats they got would be euthanized. They were gonna kill them! And I couldn’t let that happen so I brought pancake and waffle back, then they had kittens, then the shelter called and said they’d just gotten half a dozen cats dropped off and asked if I wanted them so I picked them up and things kind of got out of control after that.”
Alastor couldn’t help but smile. “Oh, sweetheart. I love you so much. Your heart is your best feature, but darling.” He took her hands. “You cannot rescue EVERY cat.”
“Yes I can!”
“Charlie, you know that’s not true.”
“Well then what am I supposed to do, Al?! Let them die?!”
Alastor sighed. “No. Alright, how about this? We hold an adoption event. People can come and learn about the hotel and adopt the cats. And I, out of my personal account, will pay for the required spays, neuters, and vet visits, AND provide them with everything they need to care for their new cat.”
“You would do that?” Charlie looked awestruck.
“Of course! What do you say?”
Charlie bit her lip and looked up at him. “I’d say that if the egg bois weren't here right now, my clothes would be coming off.”
“Is that why you took your shirt off in the hallway? You were attempting to distract me from the cats?”
“Uh huh!”
“Darn, if I’d known that, I could’ve played dumb a lot longer.”
“You’re silly. But thank you, this is important to me.”
“And therefore it’s important to me.” Alastor kissed her knuckles. “Now, how about you go to your room and pretend you have another secret? I’ll come to your room to figure it out.” Alastor smiled and wiggled his eyebrows.
“Oh there’s no need to pretend! Wait until you see the guinea pigs!”
“The what now?”