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A Shared Crown Only Fits On One Head At a Time

Summary:

Diluc oversteps a boundary of ruling, resulting in Kaeya's resentment, but of course, they cannot settle it with words.

Notes:

Fictober 2024, Prompt 13, "that's not the point" + Kaeya/Diluc, royalty au

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"That's not the point."

 

Diluc grits his teeth and sends a prayer to the archons that he will be able to handle the lecture he knows his spouse is about to give him. He did not overstep, and he is not backing down from this one.

 

"You did what you wanted to with my territory and never informed me of the changes," the younger ruler waves his fork with meat still on it, distracted by the topic at hand, "Sure, it wasn't life or death, but your seal is not mine. I didn't ask for you to handle the relations. In fact, I already had my whole week planned around my trip there before you decided you wanted to take a break from hunting to do fuck all!"

 

What he wants to do is punch the infuriating man for all its worth and figure out their problems through fists or sword. The attempted diplomacy is so far down the drain it may as well be recycled water already bottled. His remaining patience is only due to his training.

 

Diluc tries again, "Are we not equals, Empress? International affairs are the the responsibility of Emperor Jean—may her glory be unpassed—and Lord Venti—may his glory make sense; and the drunkard—forgive my insolence—is comatose. Of course I interfered! Everyone is taking tasks that are not theirs. Even Consort Lisa has had to cut her innumerable relaxation times short. You're working yourself to the bone assisting me due to my extensive social trips I must take that you rightfully deserve to have-"

 

Kaeya interrupts, "That you can keep. I don't like having to constantly be a snake around my- our own people. You know as much. That's why I wanted to handle the foreign exchange you stole from my name-"

 

He turns to thank the servant who darts to the table to remove a dish, interrupting his rant to be polite. It's a habit both of them share from their teenage years. The former prince sighs and makes a rude gesture towards his partnering empress, who rolls his eyes and glowers,

 

"You've been insisting entitlement ever since you arrived here to find the deal already finished," Diluc bites out, "I was doing you a favor since your guests arrived early. Tomorrow, I must embark back on the surveyor-"

 

Kaeya snarls and throws his fork. His partner catches it as it nicks his arm. The few staff that had lingered in the dining hall promptly flee, already informed from their training that it is best to be scarce once the empresses get physical. The redhead stands, and the blue haired man follows suit.

 

"Must we always do this?" Kaeya sighs as he blocks the punch Diluc aims at his shoulder.

 

The redhead scoffs in reply, "Learn to stop being a prick."

 

"I'll do that when one of us gets testicles."

 

His knee meets Diluc's side so easily he wonders why the man didn't block before a blunt force slams into his neck.

 

"Masochist", the elder spits.

 

He grabs Kaeya's collar and headbutts him for emphasis.

 

The smooth tongued man scoffs, "I'll bet my eye patch you enjoy tussling just as much as me."

 

"You have five eye patches-" Diluc hisses and tackles him to the ground, "Stop squirming. The sooner I win this the sooner we can go back to discussions."

 

Kaeya does not answer but licks a stripe across Diluc's face. The man tenses before a familiar pain sinks into his neck. He would be lying to say he didn't like it. He very much does. But Diluc is not going to let the pleasure distract him from the point of the blue-haired man being beneath him to begin with. His nails dig into his partner's thigh.

 

"Tsk, you're so rough with prep," he licks the throbbing bite, "You forgot to disarm me."

 

Diluc drops and rolls, yanking away the hand that grabbed onto his locks. It does not release despite the sudden movements taken to wind him and escape.

 

"Asshole," Diluc grabs his other wrist descending for him to stop the mentioned weapon.

 

Kaeya finds a way to get more of his hair in his grasp and yanks back, "Coward."

 

"Pulling hair is childish."

 

"Calling names while fleeing is for chicken."

 

They lie there for a few moments before the younger empress speaks again, "Are you going to apologize now?"

 

"I said I was beating you, not the other way around."

 

The staff returns three hours later to find both of them passed out on the floor with mostly untouched faces and bruised knuckles.

 

"Who wants to undress and patch up our sovereigns?"

 

The head maid Noelle sighs out as she lifts both of them from the floor easily. She wishes that they would not leave each other in such a disarray after their ritualistic duels.

 

"Not it."

Notes:

Poor Noelle

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