Work Text:
Wtf pulls her car up outside McDonald's Orlando, as it's the biggest one in the world! Y/N's eyes widened at the size. "Wow, it's so big!! I cannot wait to go inside babe!" She squealed with excitement, Wtf's eyes glanced at the excited puppy girl. "Yeah, just as excited when you see my big strapon from Bad Dragon.. heh..." She teased. They both got out the big ass Lamborghini and they go inside.
The place was crowded with people eating McDonald's, slobbering away at their food. What fine dining this was, it was all Wtf could afford after she bought that Lamborghini. They go up to the counter to order some food. "Wsg I'm Bumshagger18 what do you want to order?" the server says to these valued customers. Y/N looks at the menu and she spots the best thing she could ever order. "Wtf Mommy, can I get the Minecraft happy meal??" Wtf looks down, "Puppy, I can only afford the kids meal..." she frowns. "It's fine Mommy!" Y/N replies with a smile on her face.
Wtf tells Bumshagger18 their order for one Minecraft happy meal (Wtf couldn't afford one for herself) and get their item number. Meanwhile in the back, Transbian Treder screams in agonizing pain. "BUMSHAGGER18, CAN I WORK AT THE COUNTER NOW?? I GOT MY DICK STUCK IN THE FRYER!! IT'S CRISPING UP AS WE SPEAK!!" She cries. Courtney yells at Transbian Treder to shut up and how much she hates faggots and that she should bare through the pain. Bumshagger18 ignores it all as they lowkey don't give a shit.
After a while of waiting for their food and watching the box-woman get sent to the ER, they finally got their food! However, Courtney said there was no milk so Y/N was a little disappointed. They go get a window view seat, however all of the upstairs window seats were taken so their best view was the car park. They sit down and split the food between one another.
Behind them was a group of smelly teenage boys known as "The Eltingville Comic Book, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Horror and Role-playing Club". They all (apart from Josh) rush to get their toy with no value. "No way, I got the skeleton! Fucking sick!!" Pete cheers with happiness as he got the one he wanted, Jerry too got the skeleton. Josh didn't see what toy he got as he was busy reaching for the others food as the others said they only wanted the toy. "Josh you fat fucking cunt you care more about the food than the toy itself! No wonder why your the #1 customer here.." Bill yells, ripping open his Minecraft toy box to see he got his 5th Dennis in a row. "Dennis?? DENNIS?? I'VE ALREADY GOT A GOD AMOUNT OF BLOODY DENNIS!!" He chucks Dennis at Josh's face and snatches Josh's toy box and proceeded to rip that one open too, it was another Dennis.
Bill snapped and looked around him to see what kids had these toys, he looks behind him and sees the lesbian couple calling each other cringe pet names and touching each other suggestively. His eye's glance down at the toy and it was the last one he needed for his collection. He quickly snatched it, but not quick enough for Y/N to not notice. She turned around to see a greasy nerd with the most hideous plaid jacket and glasses hold her Minecraft toy with pride.
"Hey! That's my creeper your holding spotty!" Y/N points out, glaring at Bill with evil eyes. "What you mean this thing?" Bill said jumping up onto the table to stand his ground. "You don't need it as much as me you flat-chested, blonde, bitch, whore of a lesbo!" He says with pride, Y/N snapped and pounced up at Bill, knocking him down from the table. Pete, Josh and Jerry start whispering to one another as they didn't want to engage with Bill's bullshit. "Creeper..?" "Awh man..." "Bidi-bidi-bidi, we are going to get banned, Buck.."
The three slowly get up with their toys and sprint out the biggest McDonald's in the world. They spot the long, sleek and black car...
"GET OFF ME YOU BITCH!!" Bill screamed as he tugged at Y/N's hair, punching the girl repeatedly. Y/N kicked him in the face (somehow), the fight was getting intense over a creeper toy.. Bumshagger18 pulls out their phone to record. They didn't choose to call the police. "Y/N!!! Geek guy!!! STOP!!!" She cried, sadly they were so engrossed in beating the living shit out of one another they didn't bother listening to Wtf. She went outside to get some air as she was getting so stressed, the first thing she noticed was a fat ass panda walking closer and closer to the building, she didn't even care about her car getting stolen. He notices Wtf and walks up to her, causing Wtf's body to tense up.
"It is I, Po, the kung fu dragon warrior.. Long time no see Wtf, or should I say Wickedly Tasty Fanny-Fart.." He towered over her with an evil grin, Po is Wtf's evil abusive ex who forced her to make him sandwiches all the time. "What do you want Po? I'm here with my girlfriend!" She stood up for herself, Po scoffed at her pathetic defense. "You? Having a girlfriend?? Hah what next? You own a long, black and sleek Lamborghini?" He teased. "Yes, I do actually! In fact, I'll show you right now!"
She took Po to her parking spot just to realize it was gone. "So? Is it going to magically show up, Fanny-Fart?" Po started to take the piss. Wtf stood there in shock, "I swore it was here??" She muttered. She looked down to the ground to see scattered fries and comically dark tire tracks swerving away from the spot, she also noticed a damaged car next to the spot. "Oh I remember seeing a Lamborghini driving passed my car, it wasn't yours though, it was being driven by these boys going through the most horrific puberty I've ever seen.." Po said, this made her realize her car was stolen by those geeky pricks.
Meanwhile inside, security wasn't doing jack shit about this as they were so invested in the fight. The two broke at least 5 self-ordering machines, 27 chairs, 8 tables, a cash register and 2 ice cream machines. They were now fighting in the kitchens and were nearby the fryer. Bill knocked Y/N down and she fell onto the fryer handle, flinging hot oil into the air and worse.. Transbian Treder's deep fried penis. The penis flew through the air with rapid speed, this wasn't good timing as Po and Wtf were walking through the door. The penis pierces through Po's eye. "MY EYE!!! MY FUCKING EYE GOT STABBED BY A PENIS!!" He cried in agony, this was the first ever time this sentence was uttered. (minus the time when Y/N got poked in the eye with Wtf's tentacle strap.)
Po fell to the ground crying as his eye socket bled out. Courtney was the only person that cared and decided to save the evil ex by calling the ER. The ER pulled up for a second time today, taking Po out in a stretcher. "Hey, at least we retrieved the girl's penis!" Man #1 said, "I don't think she wants it back.. But hey, I've always wanted to try deep fried cock! Lets ask her if we can have it when we get there!" Man #2 replies. The ER goes off and STILL no police. A hot milf named Jamie walks into the McDonald's for her daily chicken mayo sandwich with extra mayo, just to be surprised by all this chaos that's happening right before her eyes.
"What the fuck?? This is just as bad as the time I caught Theresa and Stacie having the fuck of a lifetime in my OWN flat?? Yeah no, I'm calling the police I will not have my chicken mayo experience ruined a second time."
...
Sirens whirr in the air as the police drag Bill into the police car, "FUCK YOU Y/N, FUCK YOU JOSH, JERRY AND PETE FOR DITCHING ME, AND FUCK EVERY FAT OBESE FAGGOT HERE!! I NEVER LIKED YOUR SHITTY FOOD AND TOY COLLABORATIONS ANYWAYS!!" Bill screamed at the top of his lungs, the door shut on him and luckily it was sound proof and shut him up. The car drove away and Wtf stared at Y/N. "How did you not get arrested?? And even crazier, how did you not get a single scratch or bruise???" She asked with confusion. "First of all, I lied to the police and said he started beating me for no reason and second of all, did you forget I have flawless skin that can't be bruised or damaged?" She smirked, flicking her hair (or wig) to the side. This day ended horribly.
"You may be a Mary Sue, but that makes you so much more hotter.. I love you puppy and happy anniversary.." She said, the two sprinted home, frolicking into the sunset and pollution filled skies, their happy ending was sealed.
Meanwhile inside the McDonald's, Jamie was eating that chicken mayo like it was pussy, getting SMOTHERED in mayo. Lets just say, she got her happy ending too..