Chapter Text
Sam was sort of surprised and honestly a little bit pleased that Dean didn’t bombard him with questions when Sam came back to him the next day. He didn’t protest Sam being gone all night long or that it’d taken him most of the day to come back. Then again, that might’ve had something to do with the fact that Sam came back relaxed and smiling, looking so much more relaxed than he had at any point since, well… a long time. Sam couldn’t really remember the last time he’d felt so relaxed.
Things with Gabriel had gone fantastically. They’d set up a nest of blankets in Sam’s new room – and that room was so freaking awesome – and they’d ‘camped out’ in there. Gabriel had snuggled Sam up against him so that Sam’s head was pillowed on Gabriel’s shoulder and then the archangel had used his powers to make the ceiling look a little more realistic, the clouds slowly passing just like they would outside, and he’d told Sam story after story as he pointed out the constellation. Sam had fallen asleep wrapped up securely under one of Gabriel’s arms and listening to the story of Perseus.
Once morning had rolled around, the two had shared breakfast together – which Gabriel had cooked, without his powers – and then they’d gone out shopping. The shopping trip had been sort of weird for Sam at first. After all, they were picking up things for him, a grown man, to use while he was little. He couldn’t stop himself from feeling so very self-conscious about it. Especially when Gabriel took him to what was obviously an age-play store. But Gabriel had been great at coaxing him out of it or allowing him his shyness when he’d needed. In the age-play store, he hadn’t pushed Sam farther than necessary, holding on to his hand the entire time and drawing him forward only to look at certain things or get his opinion on something.
Sam had done better in the other stores. He had still held Gabriel’s hand, because he wanted to and because it relaxed him, and Sam could sort of pretend that he and Gabriel were looking for things for a real kid, not for him. That was obviously what the store clerks thought. No one questioned why two men were looking at children’s bedding or anything like that.
They’d walked away from their trip with a new bed, three sets of bedding, four pairs of adult pajamas in kid patterns, some puzzles and coloring books, plenty of crayons, some storage bins, a big carpet for him to play on, and even some bathroom things. Gabriel would’ve got more, Sam was sure, but the amount they’d already gotten had left Sam overwhelmed.
From there they’d flown back home and had spent the afternoon in Sam’s room putting things together sans powers. Sam couldn’t remember a time he’d laughed so hard. Watching Gabriel try to put together the bed had been an experience. He’d had Sam laughing so hard he’d been crying at one point.
All of it combined to leave the hunter relaxed and easy when he finally came back to his brother. He was floating on the feeling of finally getting something he wanted, something he’d been craving, and getting it with a person who mattered so much to him. He truly cared about Gabriel on almost every single level possible. Friend, Daddy, partner – lover. They hadn’t done more than share kisses yet but that was fine. Gabriel said he wanted to take that part of things slow and Sam was grateful for it. He knew Gabriel was most likely doing it because he knew that Sam had a hard time with sex after the Cage.
Sam floated on the high of all of this for a while and he was grateful for Dean not saying anything to drag him down out of it. His brother gave him an afternoon of peace and didn’t say anything until that evening as they were driving towards the location of their next hunt. Sam had a feeling that Dean had waited deliberately; the angels rarely rode in the car with them.
They’d been on the road about an hour when Dean turned the music down and broke the silence between them. “So,” He drew the word out, packing it with the kind of meaning and innuendo that only annoying big brothers were capable of. “You and Gabriel, huh?”
Rolling his eyes, Sam shifted himself in his seat and got a bit more comfortable, knowing there was no way he could get out of this conversation. It was best to get it done and over with. “Yeah – me and Gabriel.”
“You two like, dating now?”
Blush colored Sam’s cheeks at the same time that his lips curved upwards slightly. “Y-Yeah. Yeah, we are.” He slanted a look over at his brother, trying to gauge the look on his face. Had Dean waited until they were in the car to say this because he had a problem with it? Some of Sam’s good mood leaked away at the thought that his brother might not be that happy with him. Sure, he and Gabriel bickered, but he hadn’t expected this to be a problem. The bickering between the two was just part of their friendship. He couldn’t… he didn’t actually have a problem with this, did he?
The thought made Sam sick. He stood to lose so much if Dean wasn’t okay with things. The thing he and Gabriel had, it wasn’t something they’d be able to sneak around with, or something that they’d be able to hide around Dean. It was going to be hard enough to hide the ‘Daddy’ and ‘little’ part of things from the older Winchester. If Sam had to hide everything, he’d go insane.
Sam knew there were some people out there who had ‘moments’ when they slipped into a little headspace, set aside times where they ‘played’, but that had never worked for him. It’d left him a bit too on edge when he’d tried and he’d been snappish and twitchy and, well, bratty. He and Jess had discovered that Sam did best when he lived an almost twenty-four/seven lifestyle. Like he’d told Gabriel, some things depended on what he was doing or who he was with. He didn’t always feel little in his head, though he could still maintain some childish mannerisms. During a hunt he didn’t let himself slip into that mindset. But it was easy not to there because he’d trained himself on how to act during a hunt. He had rules he had to follow and things he had to do. Hunts were structured even if it didn’t seem like it. There was lore, facts, rules – all things he was comfortable with. It was why he’d always excelled at the research portion of things. The rest of it, the planning, had been Dean’s area of expertise, and Sam had found it easy to follow his brother.
It didn’t seem to bother Gabriel in the least bit that this was going to be an ‘all the time’ sort of thing. As he’d pointed out to Sam, they’d still be dating – Gabriel would just have a level of control that most partners wouldn’t have. Being Daddy wasn’t something he could just turn off. “It’s my job to give you what you need.” Gabriel had told Sam while they were talking. “As your partner and as your Daddy, that’s my job. I don’t mind taking the time to figure this out, Sammy. We’ll find a way to make this work for us.”
If Dean wasn’t okay with Sam and Gabriel dating, how would it affect this? How would they be able to have their relationship while trying to hide everything?
Dean’s voice interrupted Sam’s thoughts and reminded him that he’d been in the middle of a conversation. With two sentences, he took Sam’s fears and stalled them completely. “Bout time you two stopped flirting. It was getting painful to watch.”
Sam stared incredulously at his brother. Was Dean kidding him? His own fears were forgotten under a way of disbelief. “We’re painful to watch?” He couldn’t help the sarcasm that was laced heavily over his voice. Did Dean have no idea just how frustrating his eye-sex with Castiel was to witness? Sam had been stuck in the room with them before when the sexual tension was so high he felt like he was choking on it.
Either Dean missed Sam’s tone or he chose to ignore it. The second was the most likely option. Either way, he glossed past it like it wasn’t there. “Yeah, dude.” Dean cast him a look and whatever he saw on Sam’s face had him softening just a little. “Sammy, the guy pulled you out of Hell and patched you up. I know he keeps the nightmares at bay for you, too. I’ve known he cared about you for a while an I’m… it’s all right, okay? I’m happy for you.”
Emotion clogged Sam’s throat. “Dean…” He couldn’t say anything else. The words just wouldn’t come.
He didn’t really have to say anything else, though. Dean understood. Dean always seemed to understand him. He flashed Sam a smile and then reached out, turning the music back up once more, signifying an end to what Dean probably saw as one of his ‘chick flick moments’.
Sam relaxed as the music played around him and peace seemed to settle over the car. Maybe this really could work for them. Maybe, just maybe, he’d finally be able to have something he wanted without it being ripped away from him.