Work Text:
As Camilla stepped into the dingy apartment, she was hit with a face full of stagnant air and dust.
She quickly covered her nose and mouth, trying to resist the urge to sneeze and disturb even more dust. “Ugh, Lara…” At her name, her friend turned to look at her. “When was the last time you cleaned this place?”
Lara was unbothered by the state of the apartment. “About a year - six months ago, maybe. Why?”
Camilla gave her a frown, reaching into her pocket to blow her nose into her handkerchief. “Do I really need to explain why?”
“It’s just a little dust,” Lara assured her with a small smirk. “And it’s not like I really lived here to begin with.”
She felt herself sober up at that statement. Lara had told her about this little apartment before they came here: it was where she lived after her previous place, though ‘live’ was a strong word to describe Lara’s relationship with this apartment. From what she gathered from Lara’s explanations, this was simply a private place to do her research and a place to rest her head to sleep. Judging by the fact the place was barely furnished and dustier than the Paris catacombs, Camilla knew she wasn’t lying.
“You okay?” Lara asked, a little more seriously.
“I should be asking you that question,” Camilla replied, taking out a handkerchief and blowing her nose. It wasn’t like she was the one entering a place that sheltered the darkest moments of her life, Lara was just made of something else. “It’s just allergies, I’ll be fine.”
Lara stared at her for a moment, before nodding. “I’ll open a window.” And she left her side to do just that.
Camilla reached over to turn on the lights, though the switch needed a few extra flicks to work. Thankfully, it seems like the electricity still works here, Lara must’ve paid the bill before they came here.
As Lara opened a window at the other side of the room, Camilla’s attention was brought to the wall right above an old, cluttered desk nearby. The whole wall was filled with papers, photographs, newspaper clippings, all with red string connecting one point and the next: it was an evidence board of some kind, she had exactly the same thing back at her Interpol office.
She noticed a box that was settled on the desk, some of the wall had been taken apart already, but whatever packing was done was left unfinished. Seems like Lara had tried cleaning this place out before, but had stopped halfway.
“What’s all this?” Camilla asked as Lara came to her side.
Her friend looked up at the board, taking a deep breath and sighing. “Trinity,” Lara replied bluntly. She gazed at it all, looking melancholic. “This… this used to be my whole life. All I could think about was taking Trinity down, proving my father right… Nothing else mattered,” She sighed, taking a newspaper clipping off the wall; the title read: ‘ SURVIVORS OF THE S.S. ENDURANCE’ and there was a group picture of them all. “Funny to think how little of this matters now…”
“Trinity had been one of Interpol’s greatest mysteries,” Camilla told her. “Had I or the rest of Interpol known that you were the reason why the organization suddenly quietly disappeared, we might’ve thrown you a party.”
Lara scoffed, smiling a bit. “No parties, please.”
Camilla just chuckled.
“Well,” her friend began, reaching over to start unpinning the many pages and such off the wall. “This place won’t clean itself. Let’s get started.”
Camilla was the one who volunteered to help Lara clean this place up. She had expected it to be like all the other times she had helped friends move out of their old flats, but this wasn’t like that at all. It seemed like past Lara wasn’t very interested in making this place a home, so along with the apartment being mostly unfurnished, all of her items and personal belongings were hidden throughout the apartment; finding it all was like a very strange Easter egg hunt.
She had been in what probably was supposed to be a bedroom when she found the box.
It was just a normal cardboard box, just like all the rest of Lara’s stuff were in, but this one had been tucked away in the corner, strangely far away from the others. From the dust on the lid, it had been here untouched for years. As Camilla leaned down to pick it up, something slipped out and fell to the floor.
Camilla leaned down to pick it up and realized it was a photograph: of Lara and… someone.
In fact, there were dozens of photos in this box, all of Lara and this other woman. There were a few other miscellaneous items in the box, but they weren’t as interesting as the photos in here. Some of them had cute little captions, written in handwriting that wasn't Lara's. It was strange to see Lara so happy in these pictures. In the short time they’ve reconnected, Camilla knew that happiness was a fleeting emotion for Lara. She’s been a lot more cheerful lately, according to Jonah, but Camilla also knew it was tough to live through the things she did and stay happy sometimes.
She spent a moment getting distracted by the photos before she remembered what she was supposed to be doing. Camilla gathered all the photos in the box again and walked out into the main living area, where Lara was sorting through all the boxes they collected so far. They have made good progress with the packing, it wouldn't be long until Lara could move out of this place for good.
“You looked happy,” Camilla told Lara, setting the box down next to her.
“What?” Lara looked up from her sorting to give her a weird look.
“In these cute little photos,” stated Camilla, taking out one of the pictures and showing it to her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop.”
Confused, Lara took the picture from her hand. She spent a moment staring at it before her features visibly softened. “Oh.” Her expression tightened as she rubbed the corners of the picture with her thumbs. “Yeah. I was… happy.”
Sensing that Lara needed a moment with the box of memories, Camilla moved the whole box closer to Lara. Her friend reached out a tentative hand to open the contents of the box. Lara's eyes flitted around as she studied the images, glistening with hidden tears.
“Who’s she?” Camilla asked softly after a long moment.
Lara’s lips quirked up in a small smile. “That’s Sam. She is-... was my… best friend. Back in college, I mean.” Her smile faded.
“‘Was’?” Camilla turned to look at her, raising a brow. Lara seemed to have a knack for losing connections with ‘best friends’, no matter how much it hurt her to lose.
“I, uhm… we don’t talk much anymore,” Lara replied, turning her attention back to the other boxes she was packing, avoiding Camilla's searching eyes, but she was still clutching a few photos in her hands, gripping them so tight her knuckles turned white.
“... Why not?”
“It’s complicated,” said Lara after another moment, closing the box of things in front of her.
Camilla tilted her head curiously. “Too complicated to tell me?”
At this, Lara went silent again. It looked like she was considering telling her, or maybe, maybe the whole thing was too complicated to really say. It's only been a while since they reconnected, but a lot of things in Lara's life tended to be extraordinary, overdramatic, and complicated. Or maybe, the story was too personal to tell.
“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to,” Camilla assured her. “But, we have the time, if you want to talk about it.”
“I… I don't even know how to start…” replied Lara with a nervous chuckle. “It really is complicated.”
“Then tell me about Sam,” she told her. “How you met, or maybe what she's like.”
Lara stared at her, then her eyes grew distant. “Sam is…” Lara started. “Sam is smart, pretty, creative… and everything in-between. She can tell you the slight differences in cameras and film.” She began to smile as she reminisced. “She is thoughtful and kind, Sam always knew what to say…” Her smile faded. “My life with her was probably the happiest I've been since my parents died.”
“Sam sounds like a wonderful person,” Camilla said with a supportive nod.
“She is…” Lara's gaze fell to the floor despite the proud look in her eyes.
“I'd love to meet her someday,” she continued.
Lara gave her a grief-stricken smile, one filled with regret and pain. “That'd be… hard.”
“Why?”
She rolled her shoulders in a half-shrug. “I haven't talked to her in years.” Her voice cracked a little.
Camilla scooted next to Lara, putting an arm around her shoulders to comfort her. “Why not?”
Her friend shook her head a little, her eyes watering a little. “It was better that way. It was… to keep her safe.” Lara let out a long, deep, shaky sigh. “It was all my fault. I… she was in danger because of me .”
Camilla quickly realized this wasn’t any ordinary falling out, like theirs had been. There was something more to their relationship and how it fell apart. “What happened?”
“It’s a long story,” Lara said again, shaking her head softly.
“We have the time,” Camilla told her gently again, with a smile.
Lara smiled back before her eyes slowly flitted to the photos in the box again. Camilla could see her eyes watering, ever so slightly. “We were so close… We were so different, but being by her side was… amazing, fulfilling, in a way I can't even describe… ” Lara's features tightened with her grief.
“What happened, Lara?” she prompted again in concern.
“Sam was… On Yamatai, she was captured and forced to do a ritual. At the time, I thought I saved her, but I wasn’t fast enough,” Lara started, reciting it all with a hint of regret and pain. “Sam got possessed with Queen Himiko and, it hurt - changed her.” Lara closed her eyes tightly. “If only I noticed sooner …” She gritted her teeth.
“That can’t have been your fault, Lara,” Camilla told her firmly. “You did the best you could.”
“But my best wasn’t good enough ,” she replied morosely. “I helped Sam to free herself from Himiko, but… by then she had already been through such awful things.” Lara let out a shuddering breath, shutting her eyes and shaking her head slowly. “It was all my fault. If I had paid better attention, I could have acted sooner…” She murmured a few more unintelligible things, then grew quiet.
Camilla looked at her sympathetically. “So you… left?”
Lara closed her eyes for a long moment before letting out another big breath. “I left her with her family, where she’ll be happy and safe.”
“But without you,” Camilla pointed out. She looked down at the pictures, at the two smiling and laughing together, without a care in the world. There was something extremely precious to Lara about the memories here. “Do you think she’s happier? Without you?”
Lara's face tightened with emotion, but she didn't offer her any reply. All she did was tighten her grip on the box she had been packing, blinking rapidly to get rid of her watery eyes.
“Sam isn’t just a friend to you, is she?” Camilla asked her softly. “You love her, don’t you?” And Camilla didn’t mean in a family or best friend kind of way.
Lara froze and for a moment, Camilla thought she was going to deny it, but finally, she nodded. “I do. I do love her - more than anything .”
Her friend was not the type to admit this sort of thing lightly, so Camilla knew this admission was serious. She had asked about Lara dating someone before, but now she understood why she didn’t. Life and circumstances had ripped them apart, and being separated from Sam had to hurt.
“Oh, Lara…” She hugged her friend, who stiffened in her hold.
“I’m alright,” she tried to say, but Camilla knew better than to believe any of the variations of ‘I’m fine’, Jonah had warned her about this.
“No. It’s not alright, is it?” Camilla released her hug and held her shoulders. “I can tell how much she means to you, Lara. And I can see how much it hurts you to be apart from her.”
“She was my best friend, she was just so important, I…” Lara whispered, pressing her lips together. “For the longest time, she was all I had. If I lost her, I don't know what I'd…” She let out a harsh sigh. “It doesn't matter now,” she murmured quietly. “Whatever we had… it’s over.”
Camilla gave her a supportive smile, touching her on the shoulder. “It doesn't have to be this way, Lara,” she told her. “I mean, look at us. Never in my wildest dreams did I think we could reconcile and go back to being friends again after all this time.” She hugged her friend again. “And if we two can be friends once again, then you and Sam can be together again too. I know it.”
Hearing this, Lara slowly met her eyes, concerned and confused. It looked like she had never thought about it before. Her eyes fell, to the pictures in Camilla’s hands. It seemed like she was in denial. “It’s better this way. She’s safer without me.”
“Is it?” she questioned, and Lara wilted with no reply. “You know, I don’t know anything about this ‘Sam’.” She touched Lara’s shoulder and showed her the photos again. “But I can tell, she misses you just as much as you miss her.”
Lara’s eyes flitted around before settling on the photograph in her hands. “... You think so?”
“I know so,” Camilla assured. “Even I can tell how important you are to each other.” The photographs and Lara's reaction to them was proof enough.
Her friend still didn’t look quite convinced. “Do you really think Sam and I … could go back?” Her voice cracked a little. “To the way things used to be?”
“Well, not exactly,” she replied honestly. “Everything isn't exactly the same between us, right? It’ll be a little different, but in some ways, the same. The important part is that you both will be together again. You can work on things from there.”
“And… What if Sam doesn't want to see me?”
“Lara, you can't let that fear stop you from reaching out,” responded Camilla seriously. “If Sam is as important as you say she is, then she is worth whatever risk you fear might happen.”
A few tears escaped Lara's eyes as she took in what she said to her. She was silent for a long time before she finally spoke. “You're right,” Lara stated after a moment. “Sam is worth all that.”
Camilla smiled and patted her friend’s shoulder comfortingly. “It doesn't have to be now,” she told her. Memories of her father flickered in her mind. “Take as much time as you need. But don't wait forever, you won't have eternity to say what you want to say.”
Lara nodded after a moment. “Yeah…” She managed a smile. “Thanks, Camilla.”
“Anytime,” she replied, returning her smile. “You know you can always talk to me, right? Whatever you’re feeling, whenever and always.”
“Not sure how much I could offer back, but… you too,” Lara replied.
“You do enough by just being yourself,” Camilla assured her. “Now let’s get the rest of this packed. We need to go shopping for our dresses for Jonah’s wedding.”
Lara visibly grimaced, but she didn’t say anything. Camilla knew exactly what she was thinking, though.
“I promise it’ll be good, trust me,” she told her with a cheeky smile.
“Sure,” she replied.
The rest of the packing went smoothly. By the early evening, they had everything packed and ready to go in the van they had rented. As they made a final sweep of the dinky apartment, Lara slowed to a stop again at what used to be her evidence board, now picked clean.
“You okay?” Camilla asked her, noticing her straying eyes.
“Yeah,” she replied. “Just… wondering.”
“About?”
Lara's eyes flickered. “Sam,” she admitted. “She would have hated this place. She would've told me I didn't deserve to live in a place like this.” A wry smile appeared on her face. “Good thing she'd never have to see it.”
“Don't worry,” Camilla assured her with a smirk. “I'll be sure to tell her all about it.”
Her friend burst out in quiet laughter.
And finally, Lara closed that apartment door for the last time.