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"Did you really just do that?" Eddie said, breathing heavily as he caught his breath and leant up against the wall. "Really?"
Buck coughed a few times, the dust settling in his lungs and on everything else around them. He tried to shoot Eddie a scowl but it was a weak one with the way he was squinting and the tears were welling up to try and clear the residue.
"Sorry for caring," he said finally, hearing Eddie's scoff as he reached up to wipe at his eyes.
"Well now we're both stuck down here genius," he said, and okay, maybe leaping onto a descending piece of concrete and sliding into a pocket after Eddie during some earthquake aftershocks wasn't the smartest move.
He did have a point there.
"Got a plan?" Eddie asked, and Buck finally cleared his vision enough to look up at him.
He had one hand on a piece of rubble and the other on his hip, lips pursed as he stared back. He was covered in dust, a strand of hair falling into his face and his LAFD shirt was never going to recover from this.
"No," Buck said, meeting Eddie's smug attitude with his own defensiveness.
Eddie sighed, looking up at where the light came streaming in.
"Yeah, me either."
Buck looked up just in time to see Chim pop his head over the ridge, giving him a wave.
"Really Buckley?" he said, and Buck's face dropped as he heard Eddie snort out a laugh. "If something happens to you I'm the one who has to call your sister!"
"I'm fine, thanks for asking," Eddie called back.
"Can you rig something up to get us out of here?" Buck asked, squinting in the sunlight. "We were right by the truck."
"Uh, yeah, you were," Chim turned to look behind him a moment. "Not so much anymore."
"What do you mean 'not anymore'?" Buck asked.
"It's in the ground isn't it?" Eddie said dryly.
"Well, some of it is," Chim said. "So... hang tight, don't know if there's going to be more aftershocks and I would much prefer you stayed where I can see you."
"Copy that," Eddie took a seat on some concrete, leaning his back up against the rubble.
"There can be thousands of aftershocks following an earthquake, most of them aren't that bad," Buck said, hearing Eddie mumble 'of course you know that' as Chim pointed down at him sternly.
"Just stay there, please?" he said. "Don't make me get Maddie on the phone."
Buck put his hands up in surrender and walked towards the shade, sliding himself down until he was sitting on the floor a few feet from Eddie.
He had his eyes closed now and his head tipped back, like he was on his weekend break and basking in the LA sunshine and not stuck beneath the street level in an earthquake call that feels like it's been going for days.
"Look I didn't mean to follow you down here," Buck said, and Eddie opened just one eye with a squint and turned towards him. "I didn't think, I just moved. Tried to just grab your arm and then when I missed I just... came in after."
Eddie's lips curled up at the corners and he closed his eyes again, returning to his basking position in the thin sliver of sun.
"You're my partner Buck, I woulda jumped in after you too."
Buck stared up at him for a moment but he didn't look back. He looked golden under the early afternoon light.
Chim popped back over the lip of the concrete above them to let them know they were waiting on some equipment so they could pull them out. Buck asked if they could just climb out, he'd been to Urban Jungle enough to at least try it, to which Chim stared back in silence a moment before looking at Eddie and telling him to watch Buck and make sure both feet stayed on the lowest ground level they could find.
"I just feel so useless down here," Buck said after at least five minutes of restless pacing.
"I don't know," Eddie said. "I feel like if you had stayed up there you would have still done something stupid trying to get me out."
Buck stopped pacing to give Eddie a dry glare.
"I might have thought something through first," he said, and Eddie sighed with a shake of his head.
"If that were true you wouldn't be down here now."
Buck hated how right he was.
"Okay Mr know-it-all," he waved his hands in a flourish as he went back to sitting on a horizontal pillar.
Eddie made a little 'hmph' sound and stared up at the top of the rubble as the fingers of one hand toyed with the fingers on the other.
"What?" Buck asked.
"Nothing," Eddie said back all too quickly.
"Doesn't sound like nothing."
Eddie turned to look at Buck in contemplation, pausing like he wasn't sure whether to open up the conversation or tell Buck he was being paranoid.
"Can't be a know-it-all if people keep secrets," he said.
Buck narrowed his eyes back at him.
"Secrets?" he asked.
He didn't know what Eddie was about to say until the moment before it came out of his mouth. He should have seen it coming, really. Should have known that it would come up at some point and that not mentioning it earlier would make it all the more difficult to deny.
He didn't think this would be the moment they had to address it though.
"You... didn't tell me about Tommy," Eddie looked over at Buck curiously.
He hesitated a moment, giving Eddie a shrug and looking down at his hands where they fidgeted.
"Guess I wasn't ready to hear the lecture," he said, and his eyes snapped up when Eddie's response came back too quickly.
"No," he was shaking his head. "No you haven't kept something like this from me in a long time."
"It wasn't like I didn't tell you—"
"It's exactly like you didn't tell me."
His gaze was pointed but soft. He wasn't accusing him of something but he wasn't going to let Buck get away with lying, or avoiding it.
They share everything, and the only times they haven't were when there was something worth hiding. But even then, the truth always came out.
Buck sighed and dropped his head back against the rubble.
"Yeah, okay, I didn't. But you were going through a lot and it didn't seem like—"
"Buck."
Eddie stared back patiently. He knew when Buck was trying to talk his way around a point instead of just arriving at it.
"You didn't need me coming to you with the embarrassing story about how I slept with my ex and made an idiot of myself," he said with a huffed sigh.
"We talk about everything else, and I mean literally everything else," Eddie said, making him think about the twenty-two second phone call where Buck had called just to ask how to get the bathroom exhaust fan working. Eddie had said to flick the switch four times quickly, which Buck did, followed by a 'lifesaver, thanks' and hung up the phone. "I don't know why you wouldn't say something."
The truth was, after what Tommy had said in the morning, it felt like a much bigger conversation to have than just 'I got drunk and hooked up with my ex'. So maybe he lost his nerve a bit.
And then the days turned into a week, then two, then suddenly it seemed like there wasn't much point mentioning it. It wasn't like it was going to happen again.
Buck was sure that if he and Tommy did hook up again he wouldn't be able to stop himself from thinking about Eddie, which would make things awkward in so many ways.
Not that it needed to be, just because Tommy had an opinion on why things hadn't worked between them didn't mean—
"Wait..." he paused, looking back at Eddie with confusion. "I didn't tell you about Tommy."
"That's what we're talking about, yeah," Eddie said with an amused smile.
"So... how do you know about Tommy?"
"He told me."
"What did he tell you?"
"Why? What are you not telling me?"
"Nothing!"
"So why are you all twitchy?" he followed that up with a 'hmm' and gave Buck a teasing smile.
Okay, so Tommy couldn't possibly have told him everything. He wouldn't be looking back at Buck like that if he did. He wouldn't even be bringing it up if Tommy had told him everything.
"I'm not," Buck shrugged, and he knew it was coming off as defensive but he couldn't help himself. "I've told you things about Tommy, I just forgot to mention the sex part."
"You forgot to mention it," Eddie still had that flat and patient tone but his eyes held a curious frustration. "You 'forgot' to tell me that you brought him back to my place but you remembered to tell me all the different muffin flavours you've tried out, and the flowers you replanted because Christopher is the green thumb and I let them all die. But that you forgot. And I don't know why you would do that, hold it back. I've told you everything that's happened since I've been back in Texas. Didn't think we had secrets to keep but... maybe I was wrong."
So he was hurt. That Buck had told him about everything else going on in his life, down to the intimate details of a rat he was sure was living in the back yard. He'd named him Roger.
Maybe all of that had been a ruse to avoid saying all the other things that had happened since he left.
"It's not... I'm not keeping secrets," Buck said, making Eddie let out a big audible sigh, rolling his eyes to the side and crossing his arms over his chest.
Buck didn't need a translation for that. It was Eddie for 'sure Buck, I don't believe that for a second and I know you're hiding something'. It was Eddie for 'you barge your way into all my issues but you won't share this one with me'. It was Eddie for 'why is he the one thing you decided to keep from me'.
"Sure Buck," he muttered, looking away from him. "Fine."
"Why does it matter so much?" Buck asked, and Eddie shot a glare in his direction. "Why does me not telling you I slept with Tommy matter? It's not going to happen again, so why are you so pissed about it?"
Eddie's mouth quirked in the corner. There was something he wasn't saying.
"I'm not pissed that you slept with him," he said with an even tone after a moment of steadying himself. "Not like I had time to think about it."
"Yes, okay, I should have told you," Buck said. "But, really it's not a big deal."
Eddie hummed again, nodding slowly and pursing his lips.
He cleared his throat and readjusted his hips to try and sit more comfortably against the concrete.
"Okay," he said, looking back up to Buck. "So why did Tommy tell me he didn't want any bad blood between us? And why did he not seem surprised that you didn't tell me?"
Buck turned his eyes away.
Well, shit. Turns out Tommy had said a lot more than he'd thought.
There was no point trying to avoid it now. And really, there was no reason not to tell Eddie, at least, not now that he already knew half of it.
"We just... look it was nothing honestly, it was a dumb fight after a slightly drunk hook-up," Buck rubbed the back of his neck and made a face at the feel of the dust against sweat. "It wasn't even a fight really he just said something we disagreed on."
Eddie waited for him to keep going but Buck seemed content to leave it at that. So Eddie made a 'continue' gesture with his hand.
"And that has... what to do with me?" he asked.
Buck sighed, he didn't know why it mattered so much. Or maybe he was just making a bigger deal out of it than it needed to be. It wasn't true, so what did it matter if Eddie knew?
"He made some off hand comment about me living at your place," he said, but Eddie still looked confused, because why wouldn't Buck tell him that? "And you know, may have implied that he's got a better chance now that you're out of the picture."
"What?" Eddie raised a brow.
"He might have referred to you as 'competition'," Buck squinted over at him. "You know, or... something like that."
Eddie just blinked back at him a moment, leaning against the concrete again and tucking his hands under his arm pits.
"And you were going to let me hear that from him?" Eddie raised a brow.
Wow, he had really done a one-eighty on Tommy since the break up.
"No," Buck said, following up with a few muttered words to the effect of 'I wasn't going to tell you at all'.
There was a weird silence in the air between them as Eddie gazed across the small space in thought, and Buck just watched him, waiting for any kind of reaction because so far... he hadn't exactly said much.
"Do you think he's right?" Eddie asked finally, and it took barely a second for Buck to turn up his nose and scoff.
"What? Of course not, no," he shook his head vehemently. "I mean, you're straight, so how could he be?"
Eddie sucked in a breath as he stared back at him, not quite a recoil but the way he tilted his head made Buck instantly wonder what he was thinking.
"Buck, that's not..." his voice trailed off and his head turned to the side.
"What?"
Eddie turned his eyes away for a moment and cleared his throat.
"I mean that's not really an answer to that question," his eyes flickered back up to Buck like he was waiting for a specific response.
Like the previous one wasn't good enough. Buck just scrunched up his brow as he looked back, because of course it was. It made perfect sense to him, so why didn't it to Eddie?
"Yes, it is, how can you be competition if you're straight?" he said.
"And what if I wasn't?"
Eddie said it like a challenge, like they were debating the best flavour of pie and Eddie had said blueberry and Buck had come back with something outrageous like pumpkin pie just because of the nostalgia, and Eddie had to remind him to think with his taste buds and not his sappy heart.
"Wasn't what?"
"Straight Buck," he gave him a pointed stare. "Would I be competition then?"
Buck blinked back at him a moment, and Eddie's eyes just grew wider with his eyebrows rising expectantly.
"I don't..."
"You're supposed to say 'no, Eddie's my best friend, I don't see him that way, it's never going to happen'," he said, unfolding his arms to throw them up at his sides.
"Well it's not going to happen," Buck said slowly, and Eddie looked like he was about to have a conniption. "You're straight, so why would he—"
"Is it not going to happen because I'm straight or because of how you feel?" he gestured to his own chest, and then back to Buck who gave a half shrug, half shake of his head.
"It's the same thing."
"No Evan, it's not."
Buck's heart thuds at the sound of his name in Eddie's mouth. It was so foreign there, and Eddie said it like he was trying to reach inside him and pull something out through the tangled mess. Or maybe it was a jab at the man who had started this whole argument.
Because that's what it was now, an argument, and Buck wasn't even sure why it needed to be.
Somewhere above them they heard Chim clear his throat, holding some secured harnesses and eyeing them with interest.
"Am I interrupting something with my valiant rescue efforts?" he grinned.
"No."
"Yes."
Buck snapped his gaze to Eddie at his response, and he just let out another deep sigh and gave him an unreadable expression before taking the lowered harness from Chim and beginning to work himself into it.
Buck gave him one last unreturned look before he was doing the same.
Once they were secure it wasn't nearly as difficult as it should have been to climb out, Chim spotting the lines as Bobby reached over to take Buck's hand and haul him up and back onto flat ground, followed by Eddie.
"If you two are done lounging around, there's some people out here who could use some help," he said with a relieved smile but stern eyes.
Buck knew that look, he’d been given it many times before.
"You got it Cap," Eddie said while Buck just nodded.
And then Bobby was off, being dragged from place to place and now being beckoned by the radio. They were left with just Chim to help them with their gear.
"If you two need to kiss and make up, you've got thirty seconds," Chim said, reeling back in one of the lines and handing it to Eddie to hook over his shoulder. "Need your help with a thing or two."
Buck had no business blushing at Chim's choice of words, but he felt it spread from his cheeks and down over his chest. Eddie cleared his throat like he was choking on something and looked at Buck with wide eyes but an amused smile on his mouth.
"We're good," he said, and Buck let out the air that he'd been holding in his lungs for what felt like weeks.
"Yeah?" he asked, just loud enough for Eddie's ears.
Eddie paused for a moment like he might say something else, but then he just smiled and reached out to nudge Buck's elbow with his fist, nodding over to the other side of the hole in the street that had threatened to swallow them up.
"Come on, we've got work to do."
They kept the harnesses at their backs, knowing they were likely to need them soon, and got to work.
The engine was on a thirty-degree angle with the back end sunken down. Thankfully only a few feet, but still, it wasn't going anywhere fast. Eddie climbed up and in to grab his turnout coat and helmet, tossing Buck's back to him at the same time.
And then they were on the move again. There was so much damage everywhere and there was a helicopter circling trying to land anywhere among them.
Buck heard Tommy's voice over the radio and it made him look up towards it, tracking it with his eyes. Eddie instead focused his gaze on Buck.
The parking building to one side of the gaping hole in the floor was at a very high risk of falling down into it and there were still people trying to evacuate from the building above. Some people were even trying to drive their way out still.
Eddie helped Buck hook his safety line over his shoulder, ‘you’re going to need that’, he’d said as they rushed into action. They made their way towards the parking structure, trying to coax two people out of their mid-sized sedan before they ended up in the ground. Not that there was much time for either of those options.
And sure enough, it was all but ten minutes before there was a guttural shuddering and the south side of the building collapsed down into the wide-open part of the street, sending the car sliding in with the screams of its passengers echoing even over the din around them.
At some point Eddie had grabbed onto Buck's forearm, the two of them holding tight to piece of rebar sticking out the side of the building to stay in place. The whir of the helicopter got louder as it descended to land on what seemed like the last flat piece of asphalt left.
“And to think we could have been under that!” Buck said, turning his head to Eddie with a look of mild horror.
“We’ve got to get those people out!” Eddie called back, hair getting whipped back from his face by the wind from the chopper. “Who knows when the rest of this is coming down!”
Buck nodded in agreement but was quickly confused when Eddie pulled the rope line off his shoulder and began feeling around on the wall.
“What are you doing?!” Buck called, but Eddie didn’t stop.
"I'm going in," Eddie said, refastening the straps on his harness and searching for a solid hold-point to attach the line.
There was no doubt that someone needed to get in there and fast, one more collapse and the car would be crushed with those people trapped inside it. But if Eddie went in too...
"It's not stable! You can't just go climbing down there!" Buck called over the noise of the helicopter blades and sirens, fist clenched in the chest strap of Eddie's harness.
"Since when are you afraid of a rope rescue?" Eddie said with a grin.
"I'm not!"
Eddie just laughed, and Buck's grip loosened a little as he realised that maybe Eddie needed this, the thrill, the danger, the sense of purpose from a job that had been missing since he moved away.
"Bobby is going to kill you," Buck raise an eyebrow.
"Oh you mean Mr nearly-sacrificed-himself-to-a-deadly-virus-to-save-his-team?" he said, clipping in the final piece and testing to make sure it was secure. "He'll understand, just this once. Maybe."
"Diaz! Evan!" they both looked up to see Tommy striding over, all worried eyes and pilot uniform.
"You can't stop me Buck," Eddie took a step back, ready to rappel down the rubble and ignoring the incoming intrusion.
Buck's fingers tightened again, not ready to let him go. Eddie wrapped one hand around Buck's wrist, ready to pry him off, but he hesitated.
"Evan!?" Tommy's voice rang out again, but this time it was just Eddie that looked back at him, and for only a moment.
Because then his eyes were back on Buck, flames dancing in the golden brown as wide pupils gazed back.
"What if... I'm not?" he said, and Buck's brow knit in confusion.
"Not what?" he asked.
Eddie took in a deep breath, pulling at Buck's hand until it relinquished it's hold on his straps, slipping his own hand down just enough to hold onto Buck's for that last moment of balance as he teetered on the edge.
"Straight," he said, and then he was leaning back and careening down the concrete rubble in an abseil that he made look effortless.
Buck's mouth opened and closed wordlessly as he realised that even though Eddie hadn't given him any time to answer, he didn't really know what to say. And then he remembered where he was and began frantically looking for the second line.
"Evan, stop!"
Tommy had reached him finally, putting a hand on his shoulder and looking down to see that Eddie had disappeared over the ledge and that Buck was tightening his own straps, clipping the harness in and pulling the coiled line off his back to set it up beside Eddie's.
"What are you doing?" Tommy asked, even though he already knew.
"He shouldn't be down there alone."
"He shouldn't be down there at all," Tommy looked back at him, urging him silently not to do anything crazy. "You can't go in there with no plan."
"I'm not just going to do nothing," Buck said, securing one of the carabiners to his harness.
He'd already climbed into disaster after Eddie once today, he wasn't about to let him do this part alone.
"Staying up here as a spotter is not nothing," he said. "Eddie is a professional, he can handle himself until there's a plan in place. Don't go throwing yourself into more danger."
Buck hesitated, looking down at the taut line where it hung over the edge and then to Tommy, and then to the clip in his hands.
"Evan, please," Buck took a moment to stare back into Tommy's pleading eyes, begging him not to follow, begging him to stay right there, where it was safe.
He knew what the smart choice was, knew what should have been compelling him.
And Buck felt it, tugging at his insides, the pull in his chest like a piece of string wrapped tightly around his heart.
"I'm sorry."
He fastened the last clip as Tommy took a step back, not one hint of surprise in his eyes as Buck stepped back over the ledge, right after Eddie.