Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Touya woke in a cold sweat, his snow colored hair sticking to his forehead. He took a few deep breaths, his mouth feeling like a desert. Touya sighed, ` it’s just a dream`, he thought. He then licked his lips, feeling as they were dry, he then realised his mouth was dry too, ` heh `, Touya thought. He got out of bed, if his damn brain was going to just give him nightmares, then he could at least be allowed to get himself some water.

Touya walked down the cold, dark hallways of the Todoroki household. The Todoroki adobe being cold was rarely a thing, most of the time his father would heat up the house with his so called ‘training’, but touya wasn't dumb he knew that his father's training was really just a way of beating the shit out of him. Well, it was Touya until Shouto was born, his youngest brother had always been his fathers so so-called ‘masterpiece’ and or ‘perfect Creation’,

Touya was never either of those things. And despite his father beating him down, he still felt a need to get his attention, to prove him wrong, to prove that he could be a pro hero, and yet he had tried so hard to get his fathers attention, but in the end it had been shouto who had succeeded in grabbing his fathers attention. This result had led Touya into hating his baby brother, but it wasn't time to dwell on that right now, he just needed to get a glass of water to soothe his dry throat and be on his way.

Touya sighed as he walked to the kitchen at the end of the hall. Touya entered the kitchen, turning on the light so he could see, his steps extra careful so as not to wake his father. He opened the cabinet and grabbed himself a glass, before gently closing the cabinet, Touya sighed in relief at not making too much noise, before he walked over to the sink and started to fill the glass up with water.

He took a drink of the heavenly liquid, his dry throat almost instantly clearing up. Touya sighed in relief at the feeling of satisfaction. He walked over to the sink to wash his glass, he knew if he didn’t then his father would be pissed. Touya washed his glass with the sponge. He then placed it in the dish drainer to dry. He could feel fatigue clinging to his bones, his eyelids slightly closing as he suppressed a yawn.

Touya sighed as he willed his body to move, mentally promising his body that he would go back to bed. With this promise in mind touya started to walk out of the kitchen, he walked out of the kitchen making sure to turn off the light as he went. He started to make his way down the hallway when he heard small sniffs. Touya paused his walking. He turned around his eyes scanning the dark hallway, he couldn't see shit but it was worth a try, he heard the sniffs again coming from farther down the hallway.

Touya began to walk towards the sniffles, as he got closer, it clicked in his mind that the sniffles were from quiet crying. Touya slowly started to get to the hallway that held the source of the crying. He came to a stop as he looked at one of the many hallways. He and the sibling he actually liked were not allowed to go down, and yet this one was completely different, for all the right and wrong reasons.

Touya mentally cursed himself to just turn the fuck around and leave , to just go and leave the sight of his baby brother’s hallway, where no doubt he was the one crying. but as Touya stared at the hallway, he couldn’t bring himself to leave (curse the small piece of a big brother that was still left in his heart) and so he took a deep breath and let it out, mentally preparing himself for what lies beyond that curse of a hallway. Touya made his steps as quiet as he could, which was pretty quiet, taking in the fact that he was more often than not sneaking out to train against his father's wishes. Touya felt the boards creak beneath his feet, he winced slightly at every creak and crack of the boards. Touya looked at the very door that he hated with all (almost) of his heart, he could hear the crying much clearer now, the hiccupped breaths and silent sobs that should never come from the room of a child.

Touya twisted the handle of the door, the wood creaking at being opened, and there as the door opened he could barely make out the silhouette of shouto, but he could see his baby brother just good enough to see the terrified expression on the face of his fathers ‘masterpiece’, clearly thinking touya was someone else, and god if that wasn't a pathetic (messed up) sight to see. Touya saw the moment it took shouto to realize he wasn't endeavor, and touya be damned if the relief that physically washed over the two toned boy, didn't make guilt pull at his stomach, for hating the kid. Touya shook his head, right now was not the time for regret; he just had to see why Shouto was crying and go back to bed. 

“T-touya-nii?” 

A small, squeaky voice snapped touya out of his mental dilemma “Hey shouto. You okay?” touya said rather awkwardly, though shouto must have not caught it, because the kid had a hopeful glint in his heterochromic eyes, though the look disappeared as soon as it appeared, replaced with a blank expression that should never be on the face of a five year old. ‘ God ’ Touya thought ‘ endeavor really did a number on this kid.’

Shouto turned away, his back now facing Touya, curling in on himself, wrapping his arms around his knees, making him seem smaller than he was. “Yeah. Father said we’re not allowed to cry, he said it makes us weak,” Shouto said in such a small voice that to anyone else it could be the wind. Shouto scrubbed at his cheeks with his tiny fist. Touya felt a spike of anger go through him at the thought of his Father, telling a five-year-old , that he’s not allowed to cry. Touya took a deep breath, it wasn't time to get angry, god knows that's the last thing to be in front of this traumatized kid. “That's because father isn't capable of human emotions, you’re five, you can cry,” Touya said, as he ruffled Shouto’s two-toned hair(maybe just a little rougher than necessary), making the red and white mix slightly. Apparently, that’s all it took for Shouto to break, because one moment he was curled up, and the next, Touya had an arm full of sobbing child.

Touya stiffened slightly, before wrapping his arms around the trembling form of Shouto. Shouto’s tiny body racked with quiet sobs, as Touya ran his fingers through the peppermint candy colored hair, running his hand up and down his back to gently encourage his breathing. “It’s okay, let it out” touya said softly ‘ fuck, what am i doing ’ touya thought bitterly, he could almost laugh. He had always said he hated Shouto, at least disliked, but no here he was holding a child that shouldn’t ever have to sob like this. 

“I don’t want to be like father, I don't want to be a hero who hurts people” Shoto whispered into the night. Touya felt his heart hurt slightly at that statement. Touya sighed softly, as he tried to imagine what Shouto might be feeling, for the five-year-old to be so scared to end up like someone that he was trembling with sobs.

“You’re not going to be like Father. You are your own person, peppermint , you don’t have to be like endeavor if you don’t want to,” Touya said softly, keeping a steady tone to his voice. ‘Where the hell did that nickname come from?’ Touya thought. He had never called Shouto that before, hell, he had only used nicknames on Fuyumi and Natsuo like once or twice, so why did calling Shouto that feel oddly…right?. Touya mentally shook his head, this was not the time for having a crisis.

Shouto looked up at him, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “R-really?” Shouto said, with so much hope , as if he couldn't believe that Touya wasn't lying, but hoping that he was telling the truth. Touya felt sick , at the thought that Shouto looked so hopeful , because someone had finally given him a choice, a choice in his life of just finally not having to be like his bastard of a father.

“Of course, you can Shou,” Touya said, his lips pulling up into a small but soft smile. Shouto stared at him before smiling back, and now that Touya’s thinking about it, he’s never seen Shouto’s smile, whether it’s from the usually very brief sightings of Shouto, or the kid just doesn't smile. And Touya’s not sure which, hasn't really known Shouto long enough, well at least the real Shouto, the Shouto that isn’t just ‘the masterpiece’, or his father’s puppet, no the Shouto that actually looked like a five-year-old, and not a traumatized five-year-old child soldier.

The silence was broken by a low rumble. Touya looked as the sound came from Shouto’s stomach. Touya chuckled quietly, “You hungry, Shouto?”, Touya questioned. Shouto looked slightly embarrassed, but nodded anyway. Touya sighed softly, though not in an annoyed way, more of a…understanding(fond) way. 

“Come on then, let's get you something to eat,” Touya said, as he let go of his hold on Shouto. He got on one knee as he pushed on his other knee to get up, wincing when he accidentally touched a fresh burn. He stood up, waiting for 

Shouto to get up, though he looked slightly nervous. Touya frowned at the unsure look in Shouto’s eyes, looking as though he was scared of leaving his room, though he most likely was. 

Touya crouched down, his knees popping in protest. “What is it, Shou?” Touya said in a quiet voice so as not to scare the kid, if he was a little spacey. Shouto looked at him as he clenched his fists, fiddling with his shirt. Touya waited for Shouto to say what was wrong, though he’s not sure he will, if the way the two-toned boy was fiddling with anything he could really get his tiny hands on, meaning his shirt,fingers,and nails.

Shouto took a deep, but quiet breath, before letting it out. Touya raised an eyebrow slightly at his baby brother’s preparation. Shouto looked up at Touya, a nervous type of fear on his face. “What if he wakes up?”

Touya doesn't even need shouto to emphasize about who he’s talking about, cuz he knows the feeling his youngest brother is feeling, the fear of angering their father, the fear of being dragged to the hell that is the training room, the fear of being corned with nowhere to go but to fight . “He won’t, Shouto, he’s already fast asleep.”

Shouto looked unsure, unsure that his father wouldn't wake up, though with the doubt there was trust, trust that Touya wasn’t lying, trust that his oldest brother wouldn’t lie to him. Shouto opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but then closed it again, simply nodding an ‘okay’

Touya smiled softly. He stood up from his crouched position in front of Shouto, his knees popping( god was his body deteriorating already? he had only turned 13 two months ago)as he did so. He extended his hand out to Shouto, waiting for him to grab on.

Shouto looked at the hand stretched out to him. he stared for a second, and Touya was starting to think he might not grab on. Shouto stared for a few more seconds before grabbing Touya’s hand. The corners of Touya’s lips pulled up into a small but soft smile. Touya looked in the direction of shouto’s door, looking as he had left it open,(he probably should have shut it, oh well) he glance at shouto, just to make sure he was truly alright, shouto looked still slightly nervous but there was slight confidence, on the five year olds face. (well as much confidence as a five-year-old could have) Seeing as his baby brother seemed a lot better now, he started out of the two-tones room, slowing his pace to make sure Shouto could still keep up.

Touya kept his footsteps light, as to not make unwanted noise. He looked as they started getting close to the kitchen, Touya glanced at Shouto, seeing as he was walking quietly too, his face cautious, but curious at the same time. Shouto kept looking around as they walked, looking as if he was looking out for a sign of endeavor, like they're father would pop out of a corner, and drag him back to his room. Touya’s lips pulled down into a slight frown. He squeezed Shouto’s hand softly, trying to make the kid feel better.

Shouto looked up at touya, his two colored eyes staring into the teal-ocean colored eyes, the same color as a fiery monster, though these teal- ocean eyes weren't full of rage, the were more so filled with a sad type of pain, along side that pain they're was a look shouto thought only his mother had, a(crazed)desperate glint in his oldest brothers eyes.

Touya stopped looking at Shouto, they were now in front of the kitchen entrance. Touya walked into the kitchen, letting go of Shouto’s tiny hand as he walked in, Touya turned on the light on the wall. Shouto didn’t move, just watched Touya as he went to the fridge. Touya opened the fridge and started to look around in it, pushing different foods to the side, to find something for Shouto. “aha,” Touya said in triumph, “do you want some soba, Shouto? We have some leftover”

Shouto’s eyes lit up, as he nodded his head frantically. “yes, please” Shouto said, his tone pleased. Touya nodded, his head slightly, before moving to the cabinets to get a bowl. Grabbing the cabinet handle and pulling it open, he grabbed a bowl, making sure to close it gently. He went back to the fridge, grabbing the bowl that held the leftover soba in it, before pouring the soba into the bowl he had gotten out of the cabinet. Touya then looked to see as there was some more soba, about another bowl full, touya said screw it he could go for some soba right now.

So he grabbed another bowl from the cabinet, still making sure to close it gently, and poured the rest of the soba in his own bowl. Touya turned around, and almost had a heart attack as he spotted Shouto now in front of him, the kid just watching him, his gaze curious as to what Touya was doing. “Do you need something, Shouto?” Touya said.

“Do you like your soba cold or hot?” Shouto asked, his head tilting in an almost cat-like way. Touya just blinked at the question ‘what the hell?’ Touya thought, That’s why Shouto was just staring at him, to know what his preferred temperature of soba was?, Yeah, his baby brother was kinda weird.

Touya stared back at Shouto for a few seconds longer before finally snapping back in it “cold” Touya said, just watching the kid to see his reaction at the answer. “Why?” shouto asked, just blinking ‘god this kid was weird’ touya thought “because it helps cool my body down” touya said, and it wasn’t a lie the coldness of the soba did help his body cool down, as he usually was hot, whether that be from his quirk, of that he just ran hotter than most.

Shouto hummed “Momma only makes me hot soba”. ‘Okay, strange to tell me, but okay,’ Touya thought. Shouto looked slightly nervous; he kept opening and closing his mouth, like he couldn’t decide what to say. “Can I have cold soba like you too , Touya-nii?” Shouto said in a timid voice. Touya blinked at him. That’s what his baby brother was so nervous about, asking him not to have his soba hot?   ‘I guess that’s why Shouto told me he’s only eaten soba hot ’ Touya thought. Touya sighed softly. God, this kid was really just as broken as him. Touya nodded at Shouto, a quiet ‘yes’ coming from his lips.

Shouto looked ecstatic(well as ecstatic as a kid that didn’t show all that emotion could) at the thought of trying his soba cold for the first time, a glint of happiness in his eyes, and for once in this whole night, he looked like his age. Touya just stared at Shouto and thought, ‘Maybe he’s not that bad after all ’. Touya turned away from Shouto, back the the two bowls of cold soba. He grabbed two pairs of clean chopsticks from the drainer, before turning back around to shouto. He jerked his head in the direction of the kotatsu near the corner of the kitchen. Shouto got his message as he started to walk over to the kotatsu.

Touya walked right behind him, setting one of the bowls of soba in front of Shouto, handing him a pair of chopsticks, before taking a seat next to him. Touya picked up some of his soba with his chopsticks, glancing to see Shouto eating as well, “Hmh, this is good, touya-nii,” Shouto said, through a mouthful of soba. Touya cringed back slightly as he watched Shouto talk with his mouth full, though he didn’t say anything. Touya swallows his mouthful of soba. “yeah?” he said, not really a question, more or so like a statement. Shouto nodded. Touya hummed.

They ate for about five minutes. Before Touya was done, and Shouto was almost done. Touya put his chopsticks in his bowl, before getting up from the kotatsu. “you almost done, Shouto?” he questioned. Shouto looked up at him, stuffing one more bite of soba in his mouth, putting his chopsticks in his bowl as well before, nodding and lifting the bowl in Touya’s direction, which was mostly empty except for some soba scraps. Touya grabbed the bowl from Shouto before walking over to the kitchen sink, grabbing the sponge from the holder to wash the bowls and chopsticks. He put some soap on the sponge and then started to wash the dishes. Shouto watched Touya as he washed the dishes.

Getting done with the dishes, Touya put the bowls and chopsticks in the drainer, before putting the sponge back in the holder. Touya turned around, to find Shouto just watching him. “Come on, Shou, you have to go back to bed” Touya said, watching as the younger’s face dropped into a small frown. “What is it, shouto?” he questioned, his head tilting slightly. Shouto looked up at Touya, his face still in a small frown. “Will i get to see you again, Touya-nii?” Shouto said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. ‘ Oh ’ Touya thought. He looked into Shouto’s multi-colored eyes. 

“Yeah,” Touya said, his words almost just as quiet as Shouto’s “yeah, we’ll see each other again.” Shouto almost instantly brightened at Touya’s words, his eyes now had a happy glint in them. Touya outstretched his hand to Shouto, a quiet invention. Shouto smiled a small smile, before standing up. Touya watched as Shouto took his outstretched hand, Touya made sure to turn off the light as they walked out of the kitchen. Shouto walked beside him, still holding onto Touya’s hand. Touya kept his steps quiet as he walked to Shouto’s room. They soon entered the hallway to Shouto’s room, Touya made sure to keep his steps extra light.

Touya stopped in front of Shouto’s door, before turning the doorknob, wincing slightly when the door creaked open. Touya let go of Shouto’s hand, moving his hand behind the younger’s back, before gently pushing him forward until he walked on his own. Touya looked as Shouto got about five feet away from the bed, but instead of getting in he stood still. Touya just looked, raising his eyebrow slightly. “Is something wro-” Touya’s sentence was cut off as he felt a smaller body slam into him. Blinking out of his daze, Touya looked down, finding Shouto hugging him, his grip tight. Touya hesitantly hugged back, his arms wrapping around the smaller body.

After a moment, Shouto pulled away, a smile on his face. Touya just looked down at him before softly smiling back. Shouto then turned around, back now facing Touya, before walking over to his bed. Shouto started to lay in his bed, getting comfortable. “Good night, touya-nii,” Shouto said. Touya looked at him, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Good night too, Shou ” Touya said. He then turned around, getting to the trim of the door, before a small, timid voice said four words that made Touya’s breath catch in his throat, “I love you, touya-nii” Touya glanced back at Shouto, his throat suddenly feeling tight.

Touya didn’t say anything for a moment, and he could see Shouto becoming nervous. Touya turned his head back to the back to the door exit, half his body out of Shouto’s door already. He knew shouto was nervous, nervous to say I love you, and so Touya took a deep breath, trying to get the tight feeling out of his throat. “I love you too, Shou” Touya said, his voice barely above a whisper, but loud enough that Shouto could hear. Touya glanced at Shouto for just a second. Shouto was smiling the biggest smile he had all night. A smile grazed Touya’s lips as well, and with so, he stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him

And if Touya went to bed and didn’t wake up with a nightmare of fiery fists, but dreamed of peppermint candy colored hair and a soft smile, then no one would know   

Chapter Text

Shouto sniffed, his body racked with silent sobs. He curled himself further in his bed. He had just finished training; his father had been extra hard on him today. He kept muttering about how 'all might doesn't deserve the number one hero part, he doesn't even know what real training looks like.' Shouto had stayed quiet when his father ranted. Father had only gotten more aggressive the one time he questioned him; Shouto had learned it was better to just stay quiet.

Shouto hadn't even gotten a hit on his father this time in training(not that it happened often anyway). Shouto had been close to passing out, when his father had finally stopped the training session(but not without telling shouto how 'he would have to be better if he was to surpass all might'), shouto had almost cried in relieve at the statement, though he didn't, that would only make his father start the training session again saying about how 'crying is a sign of weakness' (though Touya-nii said different).

So now here he was, more than halfway covered in bandages and red-hot burns that were already starting to blister. Fuyumi had bandaged him as much as she could without Father seeing. The bandages were all right, though they were already starting to fall off his skin slightly.

Shouto was pushed out of his thoughts by the window sliding open, shouto looked up in alert, but immediately relaxed, at the sight of who it was

Touya barely made it in the window, his footing slipping for a second, before he caught himself, hoisting one leg into the window before he could fall again, the other leg following shortly after.

Touya used to sneak into his room through his door, that was until father caught him one night sneaking in, after that it became a lot harder to sneak in.

Father had put a camera pointing right at Shouto's door, so he could tell if Touya snuck back in; unbeknownst to him, Touya had just found a new way to get to his baby brother.

Touya let out a sigh of relief. He then looked at Shouto, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, he walked over to Shouto, sitting down on the bed just a few feet away. Touya's smile turned into a frown, looking at the tear streaks on Shouto's cheeks from earlier. Shouto quickly scrubbed his tear-stained cheeks when he saw Touya looking, though it didn't help that tears still threatened to fall.

Touya's Expression softened. He whispered, his voice soft, "Why are you crying, Shou?" Touya gave him a small smile after his words. His relationship with Touya-nii had improved a lot over the past months. Touya had started being Kinder to Shouto, had given him a hug when he had a nightmare, and in return, Shouto had started opening up more, his small child-like joy for simple things flying free. Sure, things weren't perfect, and they probably never would be, but things were better just cuz Touya-nii was there.

Shouto just sniffed, before looking away "I don't want to use my fire" shouto whispered "fire hurts people, it hurts momma, it hurts me, it hurts you, Touya-nii. I don't want to hurt people....not like father does" shouto said, his voice cracking at the end, a sob threatening to break from his throat.

Touya looked at him with a sad type of understanding. Touya waited through, he could tell there was more shouto wanted to say "I wish I didn't have fire, I wish I only had ice. Ice has only helped people, not destroyed!" Shouto whispered his voice growing slightly louder at the end of his sentence, though he winced slightly when he realized he had raised his voice slightly.

Touya only looked sad now, his lips pulled in a frown, his eyebrows knitted in anger, though Shouto could tell it wasn't meant for him. Though Shouto was already thinking of apologizing, but before he could, his brother beat him to it, "Do you think I destroy stuff?" His brother asked.

Shouto's eyes immediately went wide, ready to apologize and explain that he didn't mean it like that, though his brother continued, "Fire can help too, like how other fire heroes help, you could help melt stuff that someone might not be able to. Fire isn't all bad, shou. Your fire and ice are what make you, well, you. You wouldn't be the same without it," his brother said, his lips pulled in a reassuring smile.

Shouto smiled back, though it didn't last long. "Sometimes fire is scary," Shouto admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, "like sometimes when father throws fire at me...I freeze." Shouto hugged himself, as if he was ashamed that he was scared of something that was natural to be afraid of.

Touya's expression softened, before he leaned in closer to Shouto, putting his hand close to his mouth, as if to cover a secret, even if they were the only ones in the room. "Fire isn't always scary, sometimes it can be beautiful".

Shouto's eyes widened, tilting his head to the side like a curious cat. Shaking his head 'no', he looked as Touya grinned(though not in a cruel way), before he put out his hand between him and Shouto, his palm facing upwards.

"Do you want to see something cool?" Touya asked. Shouto being curious, gave a nod, his hair shaking with his nod. Touya smiled slightly in his grin, before he closed his eyes, looking like he was really concentrating. Shouto was about to ask what he was doing, but before he could, Touya's palm lit in flames. Everything was normal about the fire except it was....

Blue?`

Shouto's eyes widened like discs, his eyes full of wonder and awe, his mouth was in the shape of an 'o', he didn't even realize Touya had opened his eyes to look at him until a small chuckle came through the quiet night air.

Shouto looked at Touya's questions on his tongue, "How did you do that, Touya-nii? That's so pretty," Shouto said, his voice slightly higher in excitement. Shouto continued to watch the sapphire flame's flicker, the flames swooshed at the slight blow of his breath.

Touya smiled slightly "It's a secret" Touya said causing Shouto to pout slightly(well pout as in his eyebrows furrowed slightly, but for him it was a pout) touya snorted out a quiet laugh at Shouto's reaction "Not all fire is bad Shou, it's what you choose to do with your quirk that matters." Touya said softly.

Shouto nodded. He watched as Touya put out the flames in his palm, hissing slightly in pain. Shouto frowned at the pained noise that came from Touya. “Are you okay, Touya-nii?” Shouto asked, his voice concerned.

“I'm fine, don't worry”

Touya said, though it didn't help ease Shouto’s worry. Shouto did nod though, not wanting to push any farther and get on his brother's nerves. “Do you really think I can use my fire for good?” Shouto asked, a quiet hopefulness in his voice.

Touya smiled at him. “If you really want to, you can.” Touya’s voice was soft, as he spoke, clearly trying to be supportive.

Shout smiled back at that (an occurrence that had been happening a lot more recently).

Shouto yawned, suddenly feeling the tired ache in his bones. Touya sighed softly “Well I guess it's time to get you to bed”

Shouto scrunched his nose up slightly(a very clearly mad face), “But I'm not sleepy.” At that, his body decided to betray him as he yawned again.

Touya laughed(well as much as he could without being too loud and waking anyone up, God forbid they're father). “Come on, Shou, lie down,” Touya said as he got up from the bed. Convincing Shouto to get under the blanket, as he tucked him in.

Touya smiled. Just as he turned getting ready to leave, he felt a small hand grab the sleeve of his shirt. Touya turned back around to shouto’s bed as he looked down at the kid.

“Don't go, please Touya-nii. I don't want to be alone,” Shouto said in a small voice.

Touya’s face softened as he beckoned Shouto to move over. Once Shouto moved over, Touya slid into the bed with him.

Shouto looked quite pleased with himself in getting Touya to stay. Shouto clung to Touya's shirt, burying his face in Touya's chest.

Touya smiled as he held Shouto, running his fingers through the mix colored hair.

It wasn't long before he heard soft snoring, looking down, Touya saw Shouto peacefully asleep. He soon joined Shouto in Dreamland

_________

That night, two broken souls started to heal. It would take time, but maybe, they would find a way to heal, in each other