Chapter Text
The phone was ringing again.
Even though the new trailer had thicker walls than the old one, Eddie could still hear it.
A harsh, head-splitting sound. As much of a comfort as it was an annoyance.
His friends called a lot nowadays. Sometimes at the ass crack of dawn before they left for school, but usually in the evenings when they had the spare time.
He didn’t answer either way — he never did — but that didn’t deter them in the slightest. They always called. Every day. Whether or not they would call repeatedly just depended on how determined they were.
Today, it seemed, they were especially determined. There was silence for only a moment before the phone started ringing yet again, and it went on like that for a while. Fifteen seconds of ringing, five seconds of silence. Fifteen seconds, five seconds.
Eddie counted the calls and felt a little piece of his soul die once it hit double digits with no signs of stopping.
Still, he couldn’t be swayed to get up and answer. If it kept up all night, then he would probably be spurred into some sort of action. Probably just to take the phone off the hook, as he’d done so many times before, but even then, not for a long time.
He stayed in bed with his face smushed against a pillow and a small pile of blankets thrown over his body. His eyes were glassed over, seldom blinking, and vacant. There was nothing to indicate any sign of life behind them at all. If someone were to see him like this, they’d likely think him dead.
He felt dead.
If he was capable of feeling anything at all. Which he wasn’t sure that he was.
Staring ahead at the wall, vision half-blurred from zoning out, he let the ringing of the phone fade into a distant and fuzzy nothingness.
This was what his life had been since they got back from the Upside Down: a borderline-catatonic state of limbo.
For a while, it was a literal state of limbo. Due to a lot of luck, and probably a little divine intervention, he managed to survive his attempt at self-martyrdom at the cost of laying in a hospital bed, unconscious, for six weeks.
His body was so beat up and mangled that no one knew if he’d wake up at all, but he did. And when he did, they told him just how much damage had been done.
It took three surgeries and four blood transfusions to keep him off death’s doorstep, then an infection almost did him in after that. He was down to one kidney and one nipple, he had permanent nerve damage in one leg and one arm, and two of his tattoos were gone. All that, plus a nasty concussion and a couple bruised ribs from being knocked off the bike that he hadn’t been awake to feel the pain of before they healed.
It took a week to clear him for discharge from the hospital after he woke up, then months of physical therapy sessions for him to get his body back to some semblance of what it was before.
The shady government folks that got his name cleared had even mandated that he see one of their therapists so he could talk about the Upside Down without being carted off to Pennhurst.
She was a nice woman named Kathy who smelled like Carpet Fresh and asked him questions that he didn’t want to know the answers to, like why he felt the need to sacrifice himself that day or if the reason he installed six different locks on the trailer door was to feel safe from the town that once had a witch hunt for him.
The last session they had, he stormed out halfway through because Kathy had broached the topic of Chrissy’s death. She asked if he still felt like it was his fault, even now that he knew there was nothing he could’ve done, and he couldn’t sit there for another second longer. He stormed out, got into the car, and told Wayne to drive him home.
He hadn’t been back since, and that session was probably three weeks ago. Give or take. There was no saying for sure.
Time didn’t pass as it was supposed to. The only sign that time passed at all came in the form of sunrises and sunsets that peeked through the partially-shut curtains, as well as the barrage of phone calls he’d get after school was let out.
Eddie didn’t notice it either way.
He didn’t notice much of anything, really, but when he did, whatever thoughts he managed to grasp took a long while to register.
The world was in slow-motion, it was full speed ahead, it was stuck in place, it was everything all at once. His brain and body felt like they were submerged in a thick, gooey sludge, and no amount of thrashing or flailing could possibly have helped him breach the surface, even if that was something he wanted to do.
It was easier like this. Not better — not by a longshot — but easier.
In the Upside Down, he was hyper-present and all too aware of everything going on around him. So, maybe, this was a way of making up for that.
He wasn’t sure when it started, if it was a sudden shift or a slow descent, but he knew that it had been like this for a long time. At least, it felt like it had.
Thoughts like this only came to him in rare moments of clarity, usually when the urge to eat or take a piss was strong enough to make him get out of bed. That was the closest he got to being functional, but it still wasn’t enough.
He wasn’t entirely sure if he'd gotten up at all today. He vaguely recalled rummaging through the fridge while Wayne was at work last night, but the pickings must have been slim, or maybe he just didn’t end up trying to make anything, because hunger gnawed at the walls of his stomach with such an unforgiving bite that he couldn’t imagine it was just from a day’s emptiness.
He debated getting up. The phone was still ringing and he could do with some food, but he was so tired. He couldn’t will himself to move.
Maybe, if he was lucky, he’d fall asleep.
Maybe, if he was really lucky, it would last more than a few hours before he woke up with a nightmare. It had been a long time since he last slept, that much he knew, and he was desperate for even the slightest bit of rest.
He got close too, his eyelids were heavy and ready to drop, but he heard a distant thump of the door getting shut and it stole the chance for sleep right out from under him.
It was hard to be angry about it. Wayne had said that he was going to run some errands, it wasn’t his fault that Eddie forgot. Anger wasted too much energy anyway. Energy that Eddie didn’t have.
The silver lining came with the fact that the ringing stopped. All he heard now was the shuffling of Wayne’s boots against the floor. Pacing again. A nervous habit.
Eddie wanted to comfort him, to tell him that everything was okay, and he knew he couldn’t. He was a shit liar, especially when it came to his uncle, but there was something to be said about compensation. If he couldn’t stop him from worrying, he could at least be there with him while he did.
Eddie sat up with a soft groan. His joints ached from such little use, and it took a second for him to get his limbs to cooperate, but he managed to stand.
Well, almost.
The room started spinning and his ass hit the mattress in a matter of seconds. It was every bit of humiliating, but at least there was no one else around to witness it. He could lick his wounds without prying eyes.
After a few minutes of working up the nerve, he tried again. Slower this time. He held the edge of his nightstand for the extra balance and stayed close to the wall. Just in case.
He hated it. He was cold without the blankets, his head felt like there was a steam hammer inside, and he felt sharp pangs of hurt all over with each small step that he took. His body screamed at him, pleaded for him to retreat back to the safety and comfort of his bed. He had half a mind to listen, but by then, his hand was already on the doorknob and he knew Wayne had to have heard him by now.
No point in turning back.
When he opened the door, Eddie saw Wayne by the phone. He was speaking soft enough not to be heard, then gave a hurried goodbye and hung up the second he noticed Eddie was out of bed. He looked as overjoyed as he did concerned.
“You alright, Ed?” he asked.
It was a courtesy question, as they both knew he was most definitely not alright. He couldn’t even find the words to answer, but Wayne didn’t let him try for very long.
“How about I put this kitchen to good use and whip us up some chicken and dumplings? You can keep me company while I cook. I’ll even let you pick what we listen to.”
He was laying it on pretty thick, using Eddie’s favorite meal and some music to bribe him into staying out of his room. It made Eddie a little suspicious, but he knew he was pretty worse for wear.
His hair was greasy and knotted, and his clothes hadn’t been changed in days, if not weeks, so he probably smelled as bad as he looked, but Wayne didn’t let on beyond the nervous glint in his eyes.
So, Eddie nodded. He sat down at the kitchen table and tried to find some good music while Wayne gathered what he needed from the fridge and cabinets.
It wasn’t until later, chicken and dumplings devoured and Dolly on the radio, that Wayne finally laid his cards on the table.
“Your friends have been callin’ again.” He nodded toward the phone and let out a quiet sigh when he got no response. “Dustin told me to tell you to turn your walkie back on, Little Sinclair wanted to know if you’re ready to talk yet, and Steve said you gotta be ready to go out tomorrow at noon.”
“No,” Eddie said immediately. His voice was rough and barely there, but it still seemed to catch Wayne off-guard. “I don’t want to go anywhere.”
“Didn’t sound like he was giving you much of a choice, and I ain’t either. You’ve got to get outta the house. Only reason we haven’t dragged you out kicking and screaming is ‘cause we thought you’d bounce back on your own time.”
“Who said I’m not? Maybe it’s just taking a while.”
“You’re gettin’ worse, son.”
Eddie didn’t say anything in his defense. He couldn’t. Wayne was right and they both knew it, so Eddie let his shoulders slump and he let out a heavy sigh.
“I’ll do my best tomorrow.”
“I know you will, son,” Wayne said, with a smile that warmed Eddie’s heart. “Now, go rest up. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
“Wait, you know where Steve’s taking me?”
Wayne didn’t say anything else, he only winked, which definitely didn’t settle Eddie’s nerves. He put his bowl in the sink and got swatted away by his uncle before he could even try to wash it, then shuffled back to the comfort and safety of his room.
He crawled back into bed and it was like he never left.