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Looking back, maybe Sion should have taken more concern in Sakuya complimenting Riku’s earrings so often. It’s well-known that Sakuya is a lover of all things cute and pretty, and of course Riku is both with his pierced ears and the jewelry he wears in them. It starts innocently and curiously.
“Wah, I can’t wait until I can get mine pierced too,” he says. He sometimes asks Riku if he can pick out earrings for him while they’re out shopping. It’s cute. Sion likes Riku’s earrings too, and Sakuya so obviously adores Riku, and Sion won’t question that.
Perhaps it should be more suspicious when they’re playing around while filming a video, surrounded by props and costumes and Riku quickly grabs a shiny, dangly pair of clip-on earrings for Sakuya to try on.
“Now you can match me,” Riku tells him in Japanese, voice sweet and gentle as he gently clips the plastic jewelry onto Sakuya’s earlobes. Sion’s chest constricts, just a bit, seeing the way Riku looks caringly down at Sakuya, and the way Sakuya looks up at Riku with awe evident over his features. It tugs at Sion’s heart in a funny way. Riku is just such a good role model for the younger boys, and Sion knows it’s wrong to compare himself, but Riku has gotten so close to the maknaes in such a short time. Maybe it’s because they’re all Japanese, they have a familiarity with each other that Sion will just never share, or maybe it’s because Sion has never been as well cut out for this as he should be. Maybe he's not fit to be a leader. Maybe they’ll never really love him—he’ll be lucky if they ever even respect him.
“So cute.” Riku sends Sakuya off with a smile, and looks back proudly at Sion who was watching the entire time. Sion smiles back, and silently prays for even a fraction of Riku’s nurturing, paternal gifts.
All things considered, what comes next should not even slightly surprise Sion. They had talked about it before, Sakuya wanting to get his ears pierced for real someday soon. Although their debut is secured, Sion tells him it's better to wait until after it happens. Just to be safe. Just to not rock the boat.
“Hyung, don’t be mad, okay?” Riku peeks his head into their shared room, and Sion is immediately wary. Sakuya is shielded behind Riku’s body, his little head of jet black hair poking up over Riku’s shoulder, a smile on his face. Sion tries not to groan. This can’t possibly be good. “Saku-chan really wanted it done, and my sisters did mine so I knew how, and doesn’t it look so pretty?”
Sakuya steps out from behind Riku’s back, turning his face to the left. There’s a shiny little star shaped stud in his right earlobe. It does look pretty. It looks mostly centered, decently done, and Sakuya looks so excited. Nevertheless, something bubbles up within Sion—fear and anger and annoyance. It’s in defense of his team. It’s out of self preservation. “Riku,” he sighs, rubbing at his temple. “You can’t just pierce the kids’ ears.”
“I already did,” Riku shrugs, a little defiant smile on his lips. He looks proud of himself, and he honestly should be, with how pleased Sakuya looks. But unbidden anger burns on Sion’s tongue.
“We’re going to get in trouble,” Sion says. Sakuya shrinks back, hiding behind Riku again like if Sion can’t see his ear, the problem vanishes. Sion runs a hand through his hair. “Why would you do that? It’s so irresponsible.”
Riku levels him with a disappointed glare. Sion knows it’s not that big of a deal, he’s aware that he’s overreacting. He can also see on Riku’s face that he knows he’s done something wrong. They talked about it. They were going to make plans to do it. With Sion’s knowledge, with a manager’s approval. Sakuya was going to be happy that Sion went with him, smiling adoringly at him while Sion watched him in the chair like a proud father.
“Then I’m irresponsible. It’s not a big deal,” Riku replies, so headstrong and stubborn. His voice is a little smaller than before, though, and he rubs his arm like he’s second guessing what he’s saying.
Sion has been trying to prove to himself that he deserves this. Trying to convince himself that he can handle being a leader, guiding a group of foreign kids through a brutal industry. Trying so hard that he overdoes it. “I just thought you were more mature than this.” The words taste bitter on his tongue as soon as they leave his mouth, and Riku only frowns at him before looking back at Sakuya, ruffling his hair and nudging past him.
It leaves Sion and Sakuya alone in the room. He fidgets with his hands behind his back. “I’m sorry, Sionie hyung. It was all my idea,” he says before he leaves too, leaving Sion feeling guilty.
Riku doesn’t sleep in his bed that night. He sleeps with Sakuya. He tells Sion that Sakuya is a little bit homesick, and he apparently asked Riku to stay with him. It’s fine with Sion, obviously, but Riku isn’t a very good liar.
When Sion can’t fall asleep right away that night, he heads for the kitchen for a glass of water. As he passes by Sakuya and Yushi’s room, he overhears hushed voices.
“Are you mad at Sionie hyung?” Sakuya asks, voice wavering. The poor boy. He’s so young and still so sensitive, no matter how brave he makes himself look. Sion can hear the guilt in his voice—he thinks his two oldest hyungs are fighting because of him. Sion feels so stupid for reacting the way he did.
“He was mean,” Riku tells him. His voice is more steady, more headstrong. He is a force to be reckoned with. “I don’t want to talk to him about it today. I didn’t do anything wrong, I just made my Saku-chan happy, right?”
It warms Sion’s heart as much as it floods his entire being with embarrassment. He was mean, and only because Riku wanted to make this nervous, excited 16-year-old boy happy. There is a second wave of anger, much smaller this time, because they still have a job to do. Their happiness is important, yes, but there are other ways to prioritize it than to make a rash decision. They have appearances to keep up. They have people to make choices for them. Sion grabs his water and heads back to bed.
The next morning, Yushi corners him in the bathroom.
“Why are Riku and Saku asking me if I can help them get plane tickets back to Japan?” He asks, nudging a dumbfounded Sion out of the way to brush his teeth.
Okay, Sion knows he was a little harsh. But flying back to Japan so they don’t have to see him again? It stings a little, even if it is just a joke. “I scolded them for piercing Sakuya’s ear.”
”Seriously?” Yushi levels him an unimpressed look through the mirror. He looks stupid with toothpaste around his mouth. Sion won’t let himself feel judged by him. “It looks good. And it’s just one ear.”
“They weren’t allowed,” Sion continues, but even he doesn’t buy the excuse. He’s not sure what excuse he would buy. “What if the managers get mad? What if they punish Riku for it?”
Yushi just shrugs, indifferent. “See what the stylist noonas say. I doubt anyone will care.”
Sion knows Yushi is right. He knows he’s being ridiculous. More important than anything else is the fact that Riku and Sakuya think he’s mad at them, and he can’t let this drag on.
“It looks good,” he tells Sakuya over breakfast. “Did it hurt?”
Sakuya shakes his head. He can’t hide his satisfied smile. “Riku hyung is like a professional.”
Sion’s eyes meet Riku’s from across the kitchen. Of course it didn’t hurt. Of course Riku is gentle and caring, of course he’d never dream of hurting Sakuya. Sion feels stupid all over again.
It’s something like pride that keeps him from apologizing directly to Riku. He nods approvingly, looking from Sakuya’s earring and back to Riku, and that's going to have to be enough for now.
The stylist noonas love it. They tell Sakuya how cute he looks. They don’t even ask who did it or where he went for it. Nobody even suspects Riku. And yet Sion’s eyes bore into Riku’s face, staring at him while he smiles proudly at all of the indirect compliments toward him. Sion knows. Sion won’t forget the feeling of being scared Riku would be punished. He won’t forget the feeling of his role being threatened by Riku. The kids don’t come to Sion for anything, not for cuddles when they’re extra tired or for comfort when they’re homesick or for piercing ears when they’re bored and want to do something exciting. They hide behind Riku, follow him closely like they’re baby ducks.
“Do you admit you overreacted?” Riku asks him later. It takes Sion a moment to realize what he's talking about, distracted by the way Riku leans into him. “Nobody cared at all.”
He doesn’t ask Sion to apologize, so Sion won’t. “I overreacted,” he agrees easily. He can admit it. “It was only one ear, so…”
So you got lucky this time. So don’t do something risky like that again.
Riku smiles. “Yeah,” he hums. Sion tries not to feel suspicious. “He wants the other one done too, you know. He just wanted to test it out. Show you first.”
Sion feels guilty all over again. He tries to remind himself that it doesn’t matter, they still went behind his back. “Next time something like this comes up, just tell me first.”
For a few days following their conversation, it feels like Sion’s word as leader is the final one. It feels like a white flag between them. A truce. Riku still acts a little bit off around Sion, like he’s less comfortable around him now that he knows how quick Sion is to label him irresponsible. Sion doesn’t believe he is, of course he doesn’t, but it would feel too much like groveling to go back on his word at this point. He’ll accept an awkward truce for now.
A few nights later, Riku slips out of their room right as Sion is settled in for bed. Riku doesn’t tell him where he’s going, not that he ever owes Sion an explanation, but he returns half an hour later. He freezes when he notices Sion is still awake, like he’s been caught.
“Night, hyung,” he says before the room falls into silence. Sion wonders if he should ask, or if he should trust Riku enough to let it go.
Sakuya comes out of his room the next morning, head held high, and a matching earring in his left lobe. Riku doesn’t meet Sion’s eyes.
He can’t let it go now. Riku should know better, even if everything was fine the first time. He knew that Sion was unhappy about it, and he turned around and did it again. Riku can be decisive, but not rash. Sion pulls him aside later for a moment alone.
“I already know what you’re going to say,” Riku says, sounding tired. Like he can’t believe Sion’s audacity. “You don't need to waste your breath.”
Sion struggles to find the right words. Riku is normally so well-behaved, and yeah, Sion knows he didn’t really do anything wrong. He just can’t really understand why else it’s bothering him so badly.
Riku never even talks back, but Sion is slowly piecing together that he is intensely protective of the people close to him. Sion wonders, just for a moment, if he could ever be one of those people, or if he’s just going to be something the rest need protected from. Nevertheless, it has Riku lashing out with Sakuya as the topic.
“I know nothing I say will really matter, since you’re the oldest and the leader,” Riku starts, and Sion almost wants to laugh with how wrong he is. Riku has no idea what kind of impact he has on Sion, or the rest of the group. “None of the staff cares. Manager hyung hasn’t even noticed yet. But you’re freaking Saku out and I don’t really think it’s fair for him. Take it out on me if you need to, but don’t make the rest of the group suffer for my mistake. I don’t really know why it’s bothering you so much, but I’m sorry hyung, you need to get a grip.”
The words settle somewhere deep inside of Sion’s chest. He doesn’t want to take it out on Riku. He doesn’t want to take it out on anyone. It’s nobody’s problem but his own, he slowly realizes, because he’s not upset about the ear piercings at all. He’s upset that they don’t need him or trust him, he’s upset that he was left out. Sion knows that they aren’t going to need him to hold their hands every step of the way, but at the very least he’d like to be present for most steps. They’ll be too scared to come to him for anything after this. He’s going to be so bad at this.
Sion doesn’t realize he’s crying until a gentle hand comes up to wipe a tear off his cheek. “Hyung, why are you crying?” Riku asks, eyebrows furrowed up in concern. “What’s wrong?”
Now Sion feels sillier than ever. It sinks in while Riku looks up at him in worry. It sinks in when Riku pulls him close for a hug. It sinks in when Sion cries into his chest, and Riku pats his head and shushes him soothingly.
“I don’t think I can do this,” Sion cries. His tears soak through Riku’s shirt and Riku rubs his shoulders. “I’m not cut out to be a leader. I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Riku curls his finger through Sion’s hair, combing through it gently. “None of us do,” he says quietly, voice sympathetic. “But we’re lucky to be doing it together, aren’t we?”
Sion lets himself just be held by Riku, wrapped up inside his warm arms, tucked against his chest. It calms Sion down quickly, soothed by Riku’s hands pressed against his back, warm through the fabric of Sion’s t-shirt. An unbidden thought rears its head, a morbid curiosity of whether or not Sion would ever be able to comfort someone like this. He’s lucky to have Riku.
“You can rely on me, hyung,” Riku tells him. “Come to me, okay? It doesn’t have to be your burden alone.”
It’s a year and a half later and Sion is in the dressing room having his makeup done for a music show when the stylist asks him if he’s okay wearing fake earrings.
Through the mirror in front of him, Sion’s eyes float around the room until they land on Riku. He’s sitting on the couch in the corner of the room with Ryo, holding a camera pointing toward them while they act out some random scenario together. There’s a fake lip piercing on Riku that Sion is having a hard time looking away from, and he’s wearing a dainty pair of silver hoop earrings. Sion easily agrees to the matching pair the stylist noona clips onto his earlobes.
Sion’s turn in the makeup chair is done shortly after, and he wanders to a lonely corner to further observe. It’s a weird feeling to realize how much he likes the earrings. He hasn’t ever had any interest in getting his ears pierced before—he’s always thought Riku and Sakuya looked so pretty and cute with their earrings, but the thought to pierce his own has never crossed his mind. He looks… softer, somehow. Prettier. He isn’t sure if that’s logic speaking or just the instant correlation between the earrings and Riku.
Sion sees Riku coming up to his own reflection just before Riku winds his arms around Sion’s waist, resting his chin on Sion’s shoulder. “Hyung,” he says, wide eyed and adoring and beautiful like always. That look still makes Sion flustered. “You look so pretty.”
It’s usually handsome or cool coming from Riku. Being called pretty by Riku has Sion’s stomach doing somersaults. He grins when Riku presses their cheeks together. Only Riku’s left earring and Sion’s right are visible, and they look like a complete set. “Do you like it?”
“I do,” Riku replies. “Do you?”
“It’s not bad,” Sion says thoughtfully. It’s a bit of a bluff—it’s embarrassing enough that Riku caught him practically checking himself out. He doesn’t need to know how much Sion likes it.
Riku laughs. Maybe Sion’s bluff is more obvious than he thought. Riku’s fingers come up to squeeze Sion’s earlobe, right next to where the fake earring is clipped on. “And we match.”
More embarrassing than anything else is how much Sion likes that sentiment. Sion still isn’t entirely used to Riku flirting back, the teasing little statements that have Sion’s heart racing. “We match.”
“Would you get it done for real?”
It sends Sion back in time, back to when Sakuya was so excited to have fake earrings and Riku was just as quick to compliment Sakuya as he is to Sion today. When Riku was so attentive, so ready to make their maknae happy. When Sion was so scared and bitter. The memory haunts him, after all these years, and doubling down is the only way to save himself the embarrassment. He tells Riku, “No, I don’t think so.”
Riku clicks his tongue. “That's a shame.”
Riku takes a few pictures to commemorate, solo ones of Sion and then a few together. Sion smiles when Riku says he’s keeping them to himself.
Fans respond really well to the fake earrings too. Sion sees countless comments that night, wondering if he finally pierced his ears. He hopes no one will be too disappointed when he shows up tomorrow with unmarred, earring-less lobes. Maybe someday he’ll be brave enough to ask for Riku’s help. He knows Riku will always be kind enough to give it to him.
The stylists put fake earrings on Sion again a few days later for another music show. He pretends not to notice the way Riku watches him watch his own reflection intently. He pretends it means nothing when Riku wraps himself around Sion again, nuzzling into his neck.
“Are you sure you don’t want real piercings?” Riku asks, because while he is well-behaved, he’s also surprisingly stubborn in certain moments. Sion’s cheeks feel hot with Riku’s gaze glued on him. “I really like it, hyung.”
It’s tempting, with the way Riku’s eyes shine and his voice curls silkily around the words. But Sion finds himself almost irritated with Riku’s defiance. It’s Riku’s defiance that gets them into trouble with each other. That, and Sion’s inability to ever behave normally when it comes to Riku. Sion forces out a laugh. “I’m sure, Riku,” he says, although he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since Riku last brought it up.
Sion is digging his grave deeper. Riku doesn’t listen when Sion says no. When promotions are over is not enough—there’s only one right answer. Riku doesn’t often get like this, it’s only when he knows he’s right. He is right, and it’s what annoys Sion the most. If they pierced his ears, Sion would be ready to wear hoops and dangly little jewelry before their next comeback. He’d be able to switch them out for different photoshoots and performances, glittery little accessories to help decorate the pages of their photobook, gleaming right alongside Riku and Sakuya. He’s sure this was Sakuya’s reasoning too. Why he’d been in such a hurry to have it done, and why Riku has seen no issue. Those two have always been so much more decisive than Sion. Much less scared, less likely to agonize over imaginary repercussions. Sion wonders what it would take for them to feel regret. Wonders how much lighter he’d feel if he weren’t still carrying around the guilt of scolding them so long ago.
The past can be bitter and cold, but Riku is sweet and warm while clung to him, stubborn like a parasite. The kind of parasite that bites down, clenches around his heart and sucks out all the fear. But Sion doesn’t always know who he is outside of fear. Riku is still looking at him with wide, expectant eyes.
Sion rubs at his temple. “I said no, Riku.”
It’s something between being turned down and knowing that he can get away with it anyway that sets off a fire in Riku’s eyes. Sion’s word, as leader, is final. He silently drags Sion off to an empty corner of the room, sits him down on the couch partially tucked behind some clothing racks while everyone else is distracted elsewhere, having their makeup done or eating the food Mark bought for them. Riku never lets the guilt settle in for too long anymore. He kisses the corner of Sion’s mouth, turning his lips up into a smile he can’t help.
“Riku–”
Riku cuts him off, kissing him again. He holds his hand out toward Sion and he grabs on, stroking the soft skin he meets. Sion showed all of his cards too early. Before they ever got together, when they still got upset with each other for reasons they didn’t understand yet, Riku was already collecting a list of all of Sion’s vices. Sion has never stood a chance against Riku, not when he knows just how to rile him up and then soothe down his nerves just as easily.
Sion is not a masochist. He lets himself be soothed, lets himself forgive Riku for being stubborn and forgives himself for being frustrated.
It’s days later that Sion finally realizes his say is not the final one. Riku’s compliments still ring in his ears, along with the rest of the members and the stylists. He misses the added detail to himself. He reaches up to pinch his earlobes, just to feel them bare. Sakuya had said that it didn’t even hurt. That Riku was like a professional. Riku is not, however, a mind reader. Even if it feels like he is sometimes.
Riku watches Sion a little extra closely, like he can see the extended train of thought inside his head. He observes him like he’s trying to figure him out. Sion reflects upon himself too, trying to figure out why he’s so stubborn that he can’t even ask Riku.
It feels like going back on his word. He had said no. He had yelled at Riku before for piercing Sakuya’s ears without permission. Why doesn’t Riku need permission now? Because it’s Sion’s ears he’d be piercing? Because Sion was only mad they had gone behind his back? He wanted to be liked, he wanted to be loved, to be respected. He didn’t want Riku to get in trouble.
Riku pinches Sion’s empty earlobes too after seeing Sion do it to himself. He does it while they’re kissing, curled up in bed around each other. He digs his nails in, and Sion whimpers in pain before Riku kisses it, soft lips like a reward, soothing the sting. Sion knows he’s being conditioned, and he just takes it.
“Is there something bothering you, hyung?” Riku asks one morning after sneaking into Sion’s room, tucking himself under his covers. He does this a lot, ever since they got different rooms and Sion kept sleeping in too late to spend much time together before they were whisked off to schedules. He brushes his fingers through Sion’s hair, pushing his bangs away from his forehead, tucking them behind his ears. He’s all coy, like he doesn’t know exactly what’s on Sion’s mind.
Sion doesn’t answer. He pulls Riku back into his chest, one arm wrapped snugly around him and his other hand cradling Riku’s head. His fingers toy with Riku’s earrings, and he can feel Riku smiling against his chest.
He musters up the courage to ask that night. Sion marches down to Riku’s room later on, a confused Sakuya in tow. Riku opens his door with a curious tilt of his head.
“Will you please pierce my ears?” He asks, squeezing Sakuya’s hand.
Sakuya rips his hand out of Sion’s tight grip, looking between him and Riku in disbelief. “You brought me here just for this?”
When he tries to go, Riku grabs his hand and pulls him inside, closing his door behind all three of them. “I think hyung still feels bad,” he gently explains to Sakuya, pinching him on the ear. “He wants you to be here.”
Sakuya’s expression immediately softens. He smiles, a little bit giddy, at the thought. “Can I take a video?”
Riku smacks him on the shoulder and guides Sion to sit on the edge of his bed. Sion doesn’t say that he doesn’t mind if Sakuya records it, he doesn’t mind if he stays or goes, he just couldn’t bear not involving him. He couldn’t do it behind his back, not after the guilt in his voice that Sion can’t forget when he asked are you mad at Sionie hyung? Riku is already digging around in a drawer like he’s been waiting for this moment. He probably has. Sakuya just stares at Sion in wonder.
“Is it going to hurt?” Sion asks, breaking the anticipatory silence.
“A lot,” Sakuya says, contrary to what he’d told Sion when he got his done. Sion can’t tell if he was just putting on a front back then or if he’s just teasing now.
Riku clicks his tongue. It must be the latter. “I have five, and none of them hurt.”
“You have a high pain tolerance,” Sion points out and rephrases his question. “Is it going to hurt me?”
Riku pulls out a little kit, including a needle and alcohol wipes and the familiar star studs Sakuya wore a year and a half earlier. “It will be sore for a few days,” he says after careful consideration. “But I’ll take care of you.”
Sion pointedly ignores Sakuya’s dramatic retching sound. He stares up at Riku earnestly, so trusting even though the way Riku smiles as he snaps his gloves on is slightly terrifying.
“Why do you even have all of this stuff?” Sion asks. The thought has never crossed his mind. He never questioned how Riku had piercing tools readily available, only why he wasn’t invited.
“Manager hyung took me to get it for Sakuya,” Riku explains, leaning into Sion’s space to wipe his earlobes with the alcohol pad.
A fresh wave of shame washes over Sion. Riku never told him this before. He’d only ever said no one minded. He’d taken Sion’s insults nonchalantly, stoic with his strong will and his love for Sakuya. But Riku smiles warmly at Sion, his strong will very much intact and his love for Sion breaking down Sion’s guilt.
“I didn’t realize…” Sion says dumbly.
“It’s okay, hyung,” Riku replies. He holds Sion in place by the back of his head and draws a dot on each earlobe in marker. His eyes dart between each side, and he gives Sion a kiss on his forehead to show he’s pleased. “Check in the mirror.”
Sion doesn’t know exactly what he’s checking for, but his reflection surprises him. He doesn’t look scared—not of the consequences or getting in trouble or disappointing anyone. Not even scared of it hurting. His cheeks are pink from Riku’s touch and there’s a red dot on each ear that he’s about to let Riku poke a needle through. “It looks good.”
He sits back down on the bed. Riku hands him the silver studs to hold on to. “My sisters pierced my ears with these,” he tells Sion, voice gentle as he sanitizes the needle. “I passed them to Saku-chan when I did his.”
Pride is evident in Riku’s voice and Sakuya’s expression. Sion doesn’t feel jealous anymore. There are things Sakuya doesn’t come to anyone else for but Sion. There are memories uniquely their own, a bond that they don’t share with anyone else. The same goes for Riku and Sakuya, and Riku and Sion, and all of the rest of them.
“And now, they’re Sionie hyung’s.”
“I’m scared,” Sion lies. Riku laughs at him. Sakuya sits on the bed next to him and holds his hand as Riku pushes the needle through the left side. He kisses Sion’s left cheek after he puts the jewelry in.
“Good job,” Riku says. “Was it okay?”
Sion nods. It didn’t hurt. Riku really is like a professional. Riku and Sakuya switch sides, but Riku freezes with the needle just a centimeter from Sion’s ear.
“Saku~” Riku calls, stepping back. “Why don’t you do this one?”
Sion whips his head toward Riku. He’s leveling him with a disbelieving look, with a you’re kidding, right? But Riku just smiles and reaches the needle out for Sakuya to grab.
“Really?” Sakuya asks, shooting up from his seat and crawling on the bed on Sion’s right side. “Really, can I?”
Sion feels helpless with the two of them. He looks between them both, at Sakuya’s excited eyes and Riku’s sweet, evil, knowing smile. This is a healing experience for himself, but Sion realizes it can be one for all of them. He sighs. “Just be careful.”
So Riku grabs Sion’s hand, letting him squeeze as hard as he wants, while Sakuya carefully leans in. He’s more focused than Sion has ever seen him when he lines up the needle with the mark on Sion’s ear. “Just push it through,” Riku guides him. “Firm, but not too hard. Don’t stab his neck.” Riku laughs when Sion tenses up, stroking a hand down his back. “Pull his earlobe. Good, now just go for it.”
It feels the exact same as the one Riku did. He’s either a good teacher, or Sakuya is following in his footsteps. Sion passes over the other earring. Sakuya is a little less gentle when he pushes the stud in, and he giggles when he puts the back on like he can’t believe he just did that.
“Now you kiss his cheek,” Riku says, laughing.
“No!” Sakuya yells, scrambling up off the bed as quickly as possible. Sion tries not to feel offended.
Riku cups Sion’s cheek, turning his face toward him. “Looks good, Saku,” he proudly notes before leaning in and kissing Sion’s right cheek himself. “Hyung looks so pretty.”
Sakuya didn’t retreat very far, just a few feet from Riku’s bed admiring his work. “It’s so cool,” he muses, one hand coming up to touch his own earring. “Now we all match!”
The thrill in Sakuya’s words, Sion imagines, is the exact reason that Riku went back to pierce Sakuya’s other ear even after being scolded. Because like he said, he only wanted to make Sakuya happy. And now they both stand before Sion, who can’t hide the dumb smile on his face as Riku ushers him to the mirror. The earrings look good on him, but even better is the ease that washes over his face. The bonus is that they do all match, an option Sion never let himself consider before. The decision was rash for him, unlike most decisions Sion makes, but he didn’t need to agonize over it when Riku and Sakuya made up his mind easily. What Sion lacks, the rest of them always make up. It's what makes them a team, one lucky to have each other. Sion doesn’t want to count out all of his shortcomings anymore. Not his fear, or his weakness, or his immaturity, or his want to pierce his ears but just never saying yes.
Riku cups Sion’s cheek in his hand, looking at him so gently like Sion must be the most precious thing in the universe to him. “Sakuya,” he calls, “would you give your hyungs a moment alone?”
Sakuya is agreeable. Of course he is, because he learned all his softness from Riku. He leaves, but not without a grimace, because he learned all of his teasing from Sion.
“Sakuya and I forgave you a long time ago,” Riku tells him quietly, after silence envelopes them once Sakuya is gone. “I’ve been waiting for you to forgive yourself.”
Sion wraps Riku up in his arms and drags him in for a kiss. Riku melts into him, softens all of his hard lines and sharp edges.
Sion forgives himself with every gentle push from Riku, every time Sakuya or Ryo entertains his games, every earnest compliment from Daeyoung, every private, cherished look shared with Yushi.
A dull ache throbs in his ears when Riku pinches them, and Sion hums into their kiss. “Riku,” he chides lightheartedly. “It hurts.”
Riku laughs, shy, and hides himself in Sion’s embrace. “I already forgot.”
So Riku admits to the conditioning, just as Sion would admit to willingly accepting it. Sion laughs with him. “Thank you,” he whispers.
Riku doesn’t respond, but Sion hears his heart anyway. You can always lean on me too. Rely on me, hyung. Riku has told him so many times. Sion never stops learning.
They separate, and Riku grabs Sion’s hand to lead him out of the room. “Are you ready?”
Outside of the serene quiet of Riku’s room, the remaining members’ voices warmly fill the dorm. They’re all eating dinner together, laughing, telling stories. Sion can’t stop smiling. He feels much different now, but also completely the same.
Their voices halt as Riku and Sion get closer. Sakuya almost certainly told them, if his giddy look of anticipation is anything to go by. The focused attention is almost too much, but then Ryo breaks the silence. “You really did that?” He asks Sakuya. “But it looks good.”
The maknaes immediately devolve into bickering while Yushi and Daeyoung calmly tell Sion they like his earrings. His earrings now, but they were once Sakuya’s, and before that, Riku’s.
“Can I get mine done?” Ryo asks, voice animated. Riku frowns at him.
“I asked you so many times, and you told me never ever.”
Ryo just points at Sion, looking excited. “But now Sionie hyung did it, and it looks so cool.”
Sion hadn't really considered himself cool before he met his group. But Riku did immediately, and while Sion was afraid the younger members hid behind Riku in fear and discomfort, maybe he was teaching them to see Sion how he saw Sion all along.
Sion wouldn’t let himself be someone they looked up to at first. Nevertheless, they did, and they all helped him step up to the challenge. He’ll keep stepping up for them again, and again, and again.