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He was trembling.
Tears threatened to shed his bleary eyes, hugging himself tightly like a lifeline. His body was tempted to fall apart, leaving him a disembodied mess like no other— he couldn’t fall apart, not when he was the face of what people feared, what every bounty hunter relied on— he *couldn’t*— he couldn’t cry like this. He couldn’t fall apart like this.
As he laid in his bed, the clown held onto his shoulders tightly— his fingers digging into his skin as he shuddered with every breath. He felt so dizzy, so dizzy— and the worst of all, this was all over a nightmare. A stupid, stupid nightmare.
He couldn’t come to anyone about it either, which hurt the most of all. He couldn’t— because he was supposed to be a reliable boss, which he hadn’t been in a long, long time.
He didn’t ask for this.
He didnt ask for any of this at all.
A shaky breath escaped his lips as he tried to calm himself— he couldn’t let his thoughts go more sour than they already were. He was better than that, better than to succumb to his paranoias and fears— Buggy gulped, he needed something to balance himself, *something…*
An old habit, perhaps could soothe him.
..No, no he couldn’t.
He just couldn’t.
He would immediately be questioned, be interrogated by Mihawk and Crocodile. Not like this. Never like this. He let that old habit go a long, long time ago.
Yet it tempted him.
It tempted him so much.
The clown bit down on his lip as his hands held onto his shoulders, his grip on the verge of tearing his shirt the more he thought about it. It was so easy to extend his arm and hit, hit until he bruised his own flesh.
He couldn’t.
He just couldn’t. Not without upsetting them.
He promised.
There he felt it, the first shed of tears escaping his eyes and down his cheeks. It was a shame, really. How easy it was to break. It disgusted him. Buggy had gone through so, so much, and yet a stupid nightmare is what tempts him back to his old habits. He didn’t feel safe with his own mind anymore— *but where would he go to?* It was the middle of the night, he just…he just couldn’t go to anyone. Not without pissing them off.
…Two people came to mind, but the idea made him nauseous.
He probably should, shouldn’t he? What if they were asleep..? He didn’t want to upset them, not at all. But yet, they didn’t drift away from his mind. A dumb, dumb idea indeed. But he felt like if he was alone for one more second, he’d lose it all completely.
So, with trembling limbs threatening to fall apart, he made his first step off of his bed. Still clinging violently onto his shoulders, his breathing laboured with each step. He made his way out of his colourful bed and into the dark, dark hallway— making his way to their room.
It was terrifying, just looking at their door. Knowing that they were in there.
Maybe this wasnt a good idea after-all.
With a shaky inhale, Buggy slowly made his way inside— only to see…
They were awake.
Buggys eyes widened as he saw the two in their shared bed, with Mihawk reading his book in silent peace— and a sleepy Crocodile nuzzled underneath the covers, his eyes closed as he tried to drift off— though his eyes opened a bit as he heard Buggy, looking over to him aswell as Mihawk. They both stared at him, stared at his pathetic form. Not a look of annoyance, not a look of disappointment— instead, it was understanding. And there, Mihawk put his book down, and spoke.
"Is everything alright, Buggy?"
And it was enough to make Buggy sob.
Buggys tears came in tenfold as he stumbled over to them, falling onto their bed as he ached for their comfort, for their affection— and there his body actively fell apart on the bed, his waist disconnecting from his lower half as he reached for the two— wanting solace in their arms. He felt like such a fool, but he was so desperate— he wanted to be held. To be coddled. He couldn’t do this alone anymore.
And there he felt those arms wrap around him, pulling him up into the middle of their bed. He heard the closing of a book as Mihawk shifted, his arm draping over Buggys back— while he felt Crocodile sleepily huff, looking down at the clown before slowly wrapping his nubbed arm around Buggys upper back. Buggy felt their contrasting temperature— how cold Mihawks hands were, and how warm Crocodiles skin was— both joined to hold him, to keep him safe.
All the while Buggy continued to sob, his body shuddering with each whimper as he nuzzled his head against Mihawks chest, wiping his tears on his skin. If this happened months ago— he knew he’d be in trouble, big trouble even— but now they were holding him, hugging him like he belonged. It felt nice, nice to be wanted again.
"—‘m— ‘m sorry— i— gghh—" Buggy whined inbetween shaky breaths, his hands holding onto Mihawks waist as he was sandwiched between the two— with Crocodile scooting closer to the two and encasing Buggy in complete warmth. They didn’t say a word, simply communicating with their actions— It was strangely comforting to Buggy despite it all.
He felt Crocodile rest his chin against Buggys head, snuggling his face into his blue curls, all the while Mihawk held him close, his hand rubbing soothingly over Buggys sides, a silent but overwhelming feeling to the clown. The pressure being smushed against the two was very needed, how soft they were with him. It was enough to make Buggy forget his nightmare, just this once.
Soon, Buggys cries died down, leaving him with heavy breaths and occasional twitches— with Buggys head rested against Mihawks collarbone, he felt so exhausted, so tired…but he felt extreme comfort knowing he was safe in Mihawk and Crocodiles arms, how hidden he was from the world. For once he didn’t have to think— not at all.
"…We’ll talk about it in the morning. For now, rest your head." Mihawk hummed to Buggy gently— in which the shaky Buggy nodded, his upper body still detached from his lower half, but it didnt really matter, did it? He could fall apart in their arms, just this once.
He heard a tired gruff escape from Crocodiles lips, a subtle agreement to Mihawks words, as they both held Buggy close. It was time to rest now, that was clear.
Buggy sighed tiredly, melting into their arms as his eyelids grew more and more heavy, his grip on Mihawk softening before he slowly, oh so slowly fell asleep— content in their hold. They had a lot to talk about in the morning, but for now Buggy would rest, and leave it for tomorrow to deal with.
Maybe he could do it, just for them.