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“Yes. Large, compassionate, matronly women.” Shawn spoke, both he and Gus gesturing in interesting ways to pantomime said women.
“Okay,” Elin agreed, face lit in a smile, “Help me.”
Shawn and Gus grinned at their win, sharing a fist bump, “Whaaat? That’s how we do it.”
Shawn reached down for Elin’s hand, happy he’d at least done one thing right in the last 24 hours. Maybe Jules would forgive him if he proved he was still good at this. Maybe she’d see that it didn’t matter as much as she felt it did, since it was only partially skated lies.
And then Gus was on the ground, screaming about his beautiful head and Elin was straddling Shawn, a knife gleaming in the sun as she drove it towards his shoulder, the one she hadn’t already nicked.
And wasn’t this just the cherry on top of it all his shit day sundae. Everything had gone wrong, ever since he’d given Juliet that jacket, and now things were somehow worse. His karma was suddenly in the toilet, despite years of heroics saving hundreds of lives, and it all came due at the same time, apparently.
“Gus! This is some crazy monkey-like strength, Gus!” Shawn cried out, wrist holding Elin’s, trying desperately to keep it above himself where the knife couldn’t tear through his shirt and deep into his muscle.
Elin caught Shawn’s eyes and he felt a rush of emotion, like a tidal wave. She was crazy, sure, but she’d been through so much. And suddenly her face morphed to Jules, above him, anger and pain painting her features like some forlorn artwork that Pierre would’ve loved to snatch.
Shawn’s wet toilet paper heart tore some more and it settled deep inside of his bones, to the places where his own denial and humor couldn’t quite reach. That’s when he knew.
Juliet wouldn’t forgive him. Not now, not any time soon, if at all. He had lied. repeatedly. He had broken her heart over and over again with each case he added to his portfolio, slamming more and more reasons against himself as to why he should be believed. Juliet had said from early on that she didn’t like liars. The girl at sleepaway camp, Frank, even Lloyd… Juliet had always made it clear and if Shawn had just said something sooner..maybe this level of fallout would have been avoided.
Now, it was too late. The chips were down. Shawn had to wait to see where they fell… and he had a feeling, based on how Juliet reacted to those past examples, he knew where they’d fall…
“Gus! I'm going to lose!” Shawn cried out, feigning an obvious show of strength by wriggling his head around.
Except the truth was, he dropped the weight from behind his hands and allowed Elin’s own strength to drive the knife downward, straight to the hilt, buried in his skin and the fabric or his shirt like a demented sword in the stone.
Crying out, from pain mostly, but also a sick bit of relief that Shawn knew was just from feeling as if this was some twisted form of penance, Shawn’s hands involuntarily wrapped around the knife.
“Shawn!” Juliet screamed, matching tone with Gus who lunged towards Elin and his best friend, but Lassiter was quicker than them both.
He tackled Elin from Shawn’s body, rolling a few feet with her before he pinned her to the ground, face grinding into the dirt as he began to read her the Miranda rights in a low growl, handcuffs clinking.
Shawn blinked up at the blue sky, pain searing through his arm as he continued to hold the knife. Gus was on top of him by this point, nearly sobbing, “Don’t pull it out! That’s like the worst thing you can do!”
Shawn grunted, half a laugh choking out, “I don’t plan to, buddy.”
Juliet was there, eyes wide, hands fluttering around a little as she tried to figure out whether to put pressure on the wound or not. Shawn lazily smiled at her, tinged with a million layers of pain, “Hey, Jules.”
“Shawn,” she whispered, eyes welling slightly.
“No worries, sweetheart.. This is like… the least scary thing to happen today,” Shawn half joked, gasping slightly as another pain tore down his side. In the background, he could hear Lassie calling for an ambulance. Lovely, another trip to the hospital.
“How is this the least scary??” Gus asked, so not taking in the tension of the moment, gripping at Shawn’s good arm like it was ladder rung and he was scared to fall.
“Ah, you know… Almost got hit by a car, got run over top of by a semi, Dariush’s driving…” Shawn paused, eyes returning to Juliet’s blue gaze, “Ruining my relationship because I’m an idiot… The knife is like the least of my worries.”
Juliet’s face scrunched up and she glanced away, clearly trying to compose herself. Thankfully for her, Lassiter called over, “They’re two minutes out! Is Spencer going to die in that time?”
“Unlikely!” Shawn called back, wincing as it shifted the knife around like a joystick, causing Gus to gag. “I’ll live to love you another day, Lassie!”
“Unfortunate for us all,” Lassie retorted and returned to watching his prisoner like a hawk in the back of his Ford Fusion.
Shawn sighed, bobbing his head back to Juliet’s field of vision, “Baby…” He began, voice soft.
“Shawn… Don’t,” Juliet shook her head, quickly wiping at her face, “Just… shut up and wait for the ambulance, okay?”
“Never was good at that whole shutting up thing. It’s kind of like.. my only flaw,” He teased weakly, but then paused, sobering a tad as the dumb voice in his brain reminded him dishonesty was worse. “Jules, I’m sorry… This wasn’t ever how I wanted you to find out.”
“You didn’t want me to ever find out,” Juliet argued and Shawn can’t say she’s wrong.
“Yeah.. I.. didn’t. You’re right,” he sighs, trying to ignore the lightheadedness that’s slowly setting in, the pain creeping into his already pounding head, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t regret the way you found out. I would’ve preferred being able to tell you myself.. to try and soften that blow, to explain.”
Juliet’s voice grew snappier, the anesthetic of Shawn’s injury no longer dulling her anger to fear, “You lied because your ass was on the line, Shawn. You didn’t do this for any good reason.”
“Be that as it may…” Shawn mumbled, shifting briefly as he tried to ground himself back down away from the dizziness that had him floating off into the blue endlessness above him, “I’ve done a hell of a lot of good since then… Just because I don’t do it the way they think I do, doesn’t mean I’m not doing good.”
“He’s got a point,” Gus butted in, but quickly shut down when Juliet’s fiery glare turned to him, “Sorry, bud, you’re on your own.”
Shawn laughed weakly, “Usually am, Gus, usually am.” He sunk further into the ground, deflating at the pain of the knife wound and at the reality of his situation. There just was no saving this.
He truly had wrecked this one. With too much clarity, Shawn could hear Henry in his head, calling him an idiot and reminding him this reflected on Henry too.
Shawn shook that voice away, looking back at Juliet, “Jules… I don’t know if I can fix this. But you know I’m not going to stop trying,” a pause, “Right?…”
Juliet looked at Shawn, the small pool of blood below him and the sincerity in his eyes. Without any defeat, she replied, “Yeah, Shawn, I know you won’t.”
Shawn smiled ever so slightly, letting his eyes slip shut with a mumbled, “Right after this fiesta…”
“It’s siesta, Shawn!” Gus corrected, a tingle of worry in his tone, but Shawn could hear the sirens moving in and didn’t worry about the inky blackness that swallowed up his mental reply of ‘I’ve heard it both ways.’ Gus knew he hadn’t anyway.