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It might not be obvious, what with the smile and the hair gel and the will-sometimes-nap-in-the-literal-sun-because-it-feels-nice, but Superman grew up on a farm responding to the name Clark. And Clark Samuel Kent is a worrier.
He worries, a lot. He was a worrier even when he was little, but when his powers started coming in and he could suddenly sneeze through the roof-
Well. It's understandable that it got worse. And right now he's worried about Bruce. Who went silent with just a quick message of 'family bonding time'. Which.
Well, Ma raised him polite, so he won't comment on the last few "family bonding times" involving a little too much arson and field surgery.
Anyway, Diana agreed to get Bruce out of "family bonding" by countering with friend bonding time, which Bruce's children almost always agree to unless someone is actively dying. Which is a perfectly reasonable reason for them to keep Bruce, though Clark will never understand why they trade sutures like Pokémon cards.
Anyway.
Clark and Diana enter the Cave from the visitor's entrance, and Clark thinks if he had human hearing he'd only be able to hear them halfway in due to the insulative properties of the materials Bruce built the cave architecture with, but he's unsure due to having to actively filter out their chaos since Wednesday. He always ends up expirencing "family bonding time" from a secondary perspetive, which is how he prefers it if he can't just obliterate it. But they had "bonding time" a few months ago, and it's typically a yearly occurance. That's why Clark's worried.
He and Diana enter the cave and Clark's worry automatically shrinks and then triples. One, there is way too little blood for this to be "family bonding".
Two, if this isn't actually "family bonding time" then why did Bruce use that excuse!?
The Bats (because trying to call them Waynes typically ends with kissing green rocks) are just... sitting around one of the tech tables that has been cleared of gears and wires and instead is draped in a purple spill-resistant tablecloth and what appears to be a picnic lunch. Clark counts most of the usual suspects- Cass, Barbara, and Jason are missing- and a new...
There's a new child. It can't be older than five
Well shit.
"Oh!" Diana seems much less worried about the toddler. "Who is this sweet one?"
Tim looks up from giving the kid another scoop of fruit salad, smiling. "Hey, D! This is Jason. He's currently four and a half, and Cass is working on getting what we need to 'change the settings'."
Jason the toddler looks at Diana with wonder. Diana flys over, and the kid gasps in delight, basically flinging himself out of the chair into her arms.
"I would've joined her, but Jay's overly fascinated with my hair," Stephanie sighs, her hair does look quite tangled at toddler-Jason height. "She's so hot when she's in it for vengance."
"Propose already, Mom!" (Or maybe man? Clark must've misheard) Dick calls from further down the table. He has Damian curled up in his lap, and is sitting closer to Bruce than usual. Clark feels his heart warm a little.
"She won rock-paper-scissors!" Stephanie hollers back, as if this point has already been made several times.
"She did," Duke smirks at Stephanie, "Steph spent two hours trying to win. She failed."
Stephanie and Duke devolve into what looks like a fist fight. Someone clears their throat, and it quickly softens into a slap-fight.
"No sparring at the table," Tim says sternly, and they listen to him.
Clark, as a quiet observer is confused. And mildly jealous that Diana is still holding Jason. It's been a while since Jon was that small.
"Aww," The familiar voice-heartbeat-breathing pattern-presence makes Clark's head snap up. Kon? Why is Kon here? "Did I miss Jay's first fight?"
Tim smiles at Kon like he hung the stars, which is unsurprising considering Clark is 78% sure that they've been dating since they were fifteen. "It's Steph and Duke."
Kon goes to reply, but the Bruce side of the table suddenly increases in volume.
"-lready share a mother and a father with him, I'm not sharing you! Make another one if you have such drastic baby fever."
"Damian!" Dick's voice goes up an octave and a half from his normal.
Clark looks despite himself, and sees Diana hovering next to Bruce with- when did she get there?- Talia al Ghul- when did she get there!?!?- now sitting on the arm of Bruce's chair, holding Jason against her chest as the kid plays with her hair.
"Baba is quite apt at cloning, Cousin." Talia says, which is odd because the only person Clark's heard about cloning people is...
Oh Rao, why should she call him that in public? Forget that, but isn't Tim a minor!?
Well, Clark thinks faintly, apparently he was wrong. "Talia, and Tim?" He mumbles low enough only Kon and Diana should hear.
Kon sighs, speaking at the-humans-definately-understand volume, "Dude no. Tim adopted Talia."
What?
"Did you not inform your genetic donor about us, brother?"
What?
"Bruce was gonna," Kon protests, "We talked about it last Thursday."
Bruce does his thing where he doesn't blush but puffs his cheeks out slightly. "I got... distracted."
"Oops," Talia passes Jason to Damian, and they have a breif whispered debate that is settled when Talia says it's only fair to return the favor now that Jason's a toddler. Which what? Clark only knows Talia because Dick hated her for a while when he was a teenager. How did Jason meet Talia?
Priorities, Clark he thinks to himself.
Diana seemed pleased as pudding to be experiencing this. "So, Talia's your granddaughter?" she asks Bruce with glee.
Bruce frowns, "No? Tim also adopted me. But we're not siblings, we knew eachother before being adopted."
"You're both my siblings though!" Kon flops onto Bruce and Talia's shoulders, wrapping his arms around there necks and making annoying kissy noises, "my bitty baby siblings, because I made a blood pact with Tim first."
Bruce makes no argument, instead reaching back to ruffle Kon's hair.
Tim claps. "So, now that we've got the reveal or whatever out of the way, it's technically inaccurate for me to call you two Aunt Diana and Uncle Clark now. Suggestions for new nicknames? Oh, and Clark, do you want weekends with Kon? Because I really don't want to give Lex weekends but he is fighting for them."
Clark needs to sit down.