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Asking Akin out for a drink was a long shot. Jin half expected the older actor to shoot him down. Akin is not known for being overly sociable. And just because he is the exception to Jin's every rule, Jin knows he cannot expect to hold the same special place in Akin's heart. He's too young for that, too inexperienced, too rough around the edges.
But Jin has been working on getting better and he will continue to do so until he's good enough to stand by Akin's side, worthy of his attention and trust and... love.
He's surprised but delighted when Akin agrees to come along.
Jin has spend years watching Akin through a screen and memorising every single interview. Turns out, there are a couple of things you cannot learn about a person like that. The way Akin drinks like a fish, for example. Or that alcohol gives him the most adorable flush. Jin is caught between the urge to record every single second so he can relive this moment forever, and just enjoying Akin's company in the here and now.
"I needed this so badly", the older man says as he downs his fourth glass in less than an hour, spilling a little on his shirt. He looks down at his chest, his nose scrunching up. "Eww."
Jin laughs softly as he takes the empty glass from Akin's hand. Almost immediately, a waiter comes to collect it and Akin orders another. Jin watches him with fascination.
"Can you believe this director", Akin says to no one in particular. Jin still nods eagerly. "The audacity."
"That was very wrong of him", Jin agrees as diplomatically as he can. Truth be told, he was ready to do... probably something ill-advised. Throw all of his hard worn fame out of the window by starting a fight with a well respected industry senior.
It's good that Akin managed to handle it all so graciously in the end. This is why he's at the top of the game and Jin admires him. The way he can tell people to fuck off just through sheer talent alone. If Jin manages to become half the actor he is, he can die a happy man.
"Anyway, let's forget about him", Akin exclaims and stands up. A little too forcefully. He has to clutch at the table to keep his balance. Jin looks up at him worried, but when the other man laughs, he laughs too. Akin offers both hands to him. "Come dance with me."
Jin is not much of a dancer. He feels big and clumsy and has never quite managed the fluid grace required to do it well. He doesn't want Akin to see him like this.
"Your drink is about to arrive, we should wait."
"Come on", Akin demands, making grabby hands into the air. "Aren't you supposed to be the young and carefree one between the two of us?"
Jin can be whatever Akin wants him to be.
He stands.
Dancing with Akin is a dream come true.
Jin is way too busy watching him to feel any type of way about his own body. Of course, Akin moves like water, even if he occasionally stumbles. Jin reaches out under the guise of keeping him upright and then does not draw his hands back. If it's a problem, he hopes that the excuse of dancing will be enough.
Akin doesn't admonish him though, just smiles sweetly up at him and even throws his arms around Jin's neck. Jin stops breathing for twenty seconds straight.
He has dreamed about touching Akin again ever since the ill-advised kiss in the hospital.
That kiss was a blessing and a curse. It kept Jin going even in the face of the most insane customer demands, his north star, his promise that if he works hard enough, if he is good and strong enough, he might, just might to get a chance to kiss Akin again.
But it also drove him to the brink of insanity with longing, leaving him restless and yearning. At times, Jin almost wished he didn't know the shape and warmth of Akin's lips.
Almost.
The night passes in a blur, all while Jin wishes it would never end. He wants to stay here, exactly in this moment, and watch Akin be happy and carefree in a way he has not seen him before.
He feels honoured to be trusted like this and so early on decides to stop drinking to better watch over him. Jin is ready to take out anyone who dares disturb his idol's moment of peace, but his worries are unwarranted. People are busy with their own friend groups and Akin never strays far enough from him to attract any unwanted attention. It feels a little unreal to Jin that the rest of the world is not just as obsessed with him, just waiting for an opportunity to get close, but he has no competition throughout the night.
As all good things, this evening too must come to an end.
"Nooo", Akin complains when they turn on the lights. "Lets keep dancing." He tugs at Jin's shirt in a way that is too precious. Then again, there are few things Akin does that Jin is not enamoured with.
"They turned off the music, Phi", he says gently. "We can come back another day though."
At that, Akin nods and Jin is allowed to lead him out of the bar, Akin's arms securely wrapped around his shoulder, his body a long, lean, hot line against Jin's side.
It's heaven.
And torture.
Jin would not trade a second of it for anything in the world.
"I'm gonna call a ca-"
"Let me drive you home", Jin says before Akin can finish that. "Please."
The older man frowns at him. "Should you be driving?" For a moment, he looks almost sober and very serious.
"I swear. I wouldn't offer to drive you otherwise."
Akin smiles a little at that and then follows him the short way back towards the studio's parking lot.
"Okay. Which car is yours?"
"Can't you tell?"
"How would I ... oh. Ah. Right." Akin spots the only sand-coloured car and grins a bit. "Nice colour."
Jin feels two meters tall with pride. "Someone with good taste picked it."
He slides Akin into the passenger's seat and then goes as far as to fix his seatbelt for him. For a few precious seconds, he hovers right above him and they are so close Jin can feel the heat coming off the other body.
"Jin", Akin says quietly into the minimal space between them. Jin wants to lean in and kiss him so badly. Akin is so pretty and perfect and he's right there, after all this time. The only reason he doesn't do it is the semi-public setting. Even Jin, only being recently famous, can never be certain of his privacy. Someone as famous and well-loved as Akin must have it ten times worse. If any paparazzi chose to hang around the studio, if anyone would get a shot of this... Jin never, never, ever wants to be responsible for making Akin's life harder.
So he pulls back and briskly marches towards his side.
A city as lively as Bangkok never truly sleeps, but there are decidedly less cars on the road at this early hour. Jin drives him home and if they never stopped for Akin to tell him his address, Jin hopes he won't remember that tomorrow.
By the time they arrive, Akin has managed to fall asleep. Jin spends long, precious minutes just admiring him and taking pictures. He's so pretty and peaceful. It feels like a crime to disturb him.
In the end, Jin reasons that Akin will wake up with a sore neck if he sleeps in this position and that does help make him feel less guilty when he gently shakes him away.
Akin looks at Jin, the unfamiliar car and then his own condo outside.
"Oh, we're here."
To Jin's disappointment, he unbuckles the seatbelt and then gets out of the car on his own. Jin hurries around to wrap an arm around his middle. Thankfully, Akin lets him.
Slowly, they stumble their up to Akin's apartment. Jin takes it all in like he's in a holy place. He's looked up the building, of course. Looked at the o free units too, but he could never be quite sure Akin's place would be just like them. If his bedroom was on the east or the west side. Now he knows and he files all the knowledge away.
"Ugh, I am disgusting", Akin says, startling Jin a bit.
"No you are not", he says on reflex before he gets that Akin is tugging at his shirt, long dried but still smelling heavily of alcohol.
Akin, graciously, ignores Jin's odd comment and makes to divest himself of his shirt which... is not good for Jin's sanity. None of this is. This whole evening has been a dream come true and also the hardest test in self-restraint Jin has ever known. If he thought holding back in that hospital room was hard, this is ten times worse. Because now Akin is not potentially seriously hurt. The worst he'll get is a bit of a headache the next morning. Maybe not even that because Jin absolutely intents to get some water and an ibuprofen into him before he leaves him for the night.
Akin almost gets stuck in his efforts to get out of his shirt and without thinking, Jin reaches over to help him. Looking back, that was a mistake.
The moment his fingers touch Akin's skin, Jin knows he's not leaving here tonight. Akin is warm and alive and every inch of him is perfect.
The older man stumbles into the bathroom and Jin follows him like he's being pulled by a magnet. By the time he gets there, Akin has managed to wet a wash cloth and clumsily wipes at his chest. Without thinking, Jin takes it from it.
"I can... let me help", he asks, demands really. He swipes the wash cloth over Akin's collar bone. The other man is looking back at him, his usually sharp gaze unfocused. But he's still frowning at Jin, like he doesn't really know what to make of Jin and his offers.
"You don't have to."
"I want to", Jin quickly interjects. "Please."
Akin stares at him for what feels like an endless moment, then his hands fall to his side and he leans back against the sink. Jin's heart leaps at the show of trust, then picks up speed when he's faced with so much of Akin's perfect, smooth skin.
He cleans him far more diligently than is probably necessary. This might be the only chance he gets and Jin intends to savour it. He deserves this, really. It's his reward for all those hours spent pleasing the most unreasonable people, all in the name of finally, finally being close to Akin's again.
Akin's breath hitches when Jin runs the cloth over his nipple, so naturally, Jin has to do it again just to make him make that sound. It's delicious, it's terrible for his self-restraint.
"That's enough", the older man decides, pushing Jin's hand away. He looks flushed, though it's hard to tell if it's from something other than the alcohol. It feels impossible to let him go, but somehow, Jin manages and only dutifully follows when Akin bustles past him and into his bedroom, where he collapses into the mattress.
Jin kneels down to take off his shoes and neatly set them side by side near the bed.
"Stop being so... ugh."
Jin looks up. "So what?"
Akin's hands flutter through the air before flopping back into the cushions, conveying exactly nothing. "So caring. You don't have to care so much."
Jin desperately needs to see his face. He crawls up the bed. It's big enough to still stay a respectful distance away. And if the distance is not quite as respectful as it could be, well, Akin's not complaining.
Akin has his eyes closed and his brows are drown together, like he's uncomfortable. Which might be the onset of the coming headache. Jin reaches out to press his thumb between them and rub soothing circles against his forehead.
"What nonsense", he says softly. "Of course I care about you." Who in their right mind would not?
Yet, here Akin is.
Alone.
Drinking with a colleague he barely knows, driving home alone, falling into bed alone.
Jin wonders what happened. If there was a bad break up in the past, some undeserving stranger not seeing Akin for the marvel that he is of if the other man just chose to keep to himself. He'll ask him, once they are closer and have a relationship that warrants this kind of trust.
To his surprise, Akin opens his eyes again. For a moment there, it looked like he was going to fall asleep like that, spread out and with Akin gently touching him. Now he's staring at him, more alert than Jin expected him to.
"What?" he wants to know.
Instead of an answer, Akin reaches for him.
Even when he's dragging him closer by the neck, it comes so unexpected that Jin does not catch up to what is about to happen until Akin's lips are millimetres from his.
For a split second, something like guilt flashes through his mind. Akin is drunk, possibly lonely, Jin might be the first person to show him kindness in a while. Jin's also a warm body within reach and the part of him that loves Akin dearly, deeply, obsessively rebels against being relegated to a potential one night stand.
But those ruminations, while valid, do not stand a chance against the enormity of being this close to Akin after replaying that last kiss over and over in his head. Jin is desperate to get a second, third, a hundredth taste.
This one is better, Jin thinks when he finally closes the final bit of space between them. He vastly prefers Akin's participation, clumsy as it might be. It's delicious and also kind of flattering, the way he wraps his arms around him and pulls Jin in hard enough to make their teeth click.
It's drunken and fumbling and rougher than Jin would have preferred, still it's perfection. Jin already knows that this will be the kiss to haunt him now. He'll regret this soon, getting another taste and then returning to his role as colleague, forced to wait and play the long game once again. It'll be worth it, though, because Akin is worth waiting two life times for. That does not mean it's easy.
Jin allows himself to to be pulled in even closer, his mouth losing Akin's and instead latching onto his neck. The urge to bite down and leave marks is almost too much to resist. He knows he can't do it though, Akin would not forgive him come morning if he left hickeys for him to explain to the make up artist.
So Jin behaves, is the good boy Akin deserves. Well, almost. He still takes the opportunity to run his lips over his jaw and down to his collar bones.
Above him, Akin pulls at him, sneaking his fingers underneath Jin's collar and raking his blunt nails over every patch of bare skin he can find. Jin is desperate to feel them on him unhindered and gets himself out of his hoodie and shirt in record time. Akin greatly approves of this development and shows it by attacking Jin's back, running his hands all over him before taking a fistful of Jin's overgrown hair and pull his face back up for another sloppy kiss.
Even though he's supposed to be the sober, the responsible one, Jin feels drunk.
Drunk on Akin's closeness, the taste of his skin. This is so much better than whatever sordid fantasy he could come up with on his own. The real Akin is alive and warm and perfect, just so perfect. Jin runs his hand down his side, feeling all that smooth skin and muscle underneath.
Against his mouth, Akin makes these breathless little hums that have Jin harder than he's been in a while. In the back of his mind, he remembers having reservations about having sex with Akin like this, but for the life of him, he cannot recall a single one when Akin takes his lower lip between his teeth and bites down.
Jin hopes he draws blood. Hope he leaves marks all over him and he can wear them like medals in the weeks to come. Some sort of irrefutable proof that this really happened and Jin was not just chasing delusions all this time. He'll come up with a semi-believable explanation for the MUA.
He cannot get enough of him, needing to touch everywhere at once, his hands sliding down Akin's body and between his legs.
Jin stops.
Against his mouth, Akin makes a frustrated little noise that would have been a dream to hear in any of Jin's wildest dreams. But it cannot overplay the fact that Akin is not hard, not even a little bit.
He's too drunk to even get an erection and what the hell is Jin doing?
Slowly, he draws back, careful to reassure Akin when he makes a confused noise of protest.
"It's fine, you're fine", Jin tells him, unsure of weather he believes him or not. "I'm just... it's really late. We should get some sleep before the director yells at us."
For a moment, Akin just blinks up at him, his lips still kiss swollen, his eyes glazed over from what Jin sure hopes is not just liquor. Then his expression clears and he nods.
"Right. Right, of course." He pulls back a little and wipes at his mouth.
He looks embarrassed and that is unacceptable. Jin is the one who messed up, Akin should not bear the brunt of his failures. So he pulls him close, wraps both arms around him from behind and wills his dick to calm down. Which is a tall order, given that he's currently holding the person he's obsessed over for the better part of two years.
"You're so pretty and I want you so much." It's a confession, mumbled against the soft skin of Akin's neck. "But you're so drunk and you'll hate me in the morning." Jin could not imagine a worse fate.
"Who could hate you?" Akin says and clumsily pats at Jin's arm where it's wrapped around his middle. "The youth of today, so dramatic." He sleepily pulls the covers over both of them and then settles into Jin's embrace. That is its own reward, Jin tells himself, this show of trust.
He will prove himself worthy of it. Always.